May 14, 2024 • 29 mins
Unlock the synergy between personal mastery and professional triumph as we share time with Steve Mellor, a seasoned high-performance coach and former Olympic swim coach. Steve artfully navigates us through the essentiality of personal growth as the bedrock of your professional achievements. Drawing from a rich coaching background, he explains why brushing up against personal boundaries can cause discomfort, yet is a crucial step toward fostering an environment where individual investment is the springboard for collective success. This episode promises a shift in perspective, revealing how the paths of self-improvement and career advancement are more connected than you might think.
We then venture into the heart of what pushes both athletes and professionals to their limits – their underlying motivations. Steve's approach, focusing on aligning one's personal 'why' with their professional life, epitomizes a leadership style that's both empathetic and effective. He shares an innovative acronym that encapsulates the personal growth journey, equipping our listeners with tangible steps towards merging their aspirations with their career goals. Facing personal ambitions head-on in a corporate setting can be daunting, but Steve's insights offer a blueprint for threading this intricate balance without jeopardizing workplace harmony or ambition.
By embracing 'the gap' and 'resistance' in our lives, Steve fosters a transformative outlook on these often-feared concepts. He sheds light on how acknowledging the stakes involved can invigorate our drive to succeed, transforming potential hurdles into stepping stones for development. The episode culminates with a reflection on leadership growth, stressing the vitality of nurturing personal relationships and aligning passions with professional demands. Immerse yourself in this enlightening conversation with Steve Mellor, and start charting a course towards realizing your potential with authenticity and intention at the helm.
Connect with Steve:
Steve Mellor | LinkedIn
Steve Mellor | Email
Career Competitor | Podcast
Steve Mellor Speaks | Website
Shock the World! | Book
------------
Order your copy of Jon's book at RedefineYourServantLeadership.com, and don't forget to utilize the additional resources, or purchase access to the Workbook and Coaching Videos.
Send your Leadership and Business questions to Jon at podcast@leadwell.com.
For more information visit https://leadwell.com
The Leadwell Podcast gives mission-driven leaders principled and practical advice to do just that, lead well.
In each episode, your host Jon Kidwell, interviews leaders with great stories, to share strategies that help leaders navigate complex, confusing, and often down-right challenging leadership, personal growth, business, and workplace culture situations.
Jon is a nonprofit executive turned coach, speaker, author, and CEO of a leadership development company. In working with nonprofits and businesses, big and small, he realized the unique challenges leaders face when they are committed to keeping the mission and people the top priority. Those leaders’ commitment to their principles and the people they lead, plus seeing the need for more leaders who strive to do the right thing, the right way, for the right reasons, is what inspired Jon to start a leadership development company dedicated to the success of mission-driven leaders and their organiza...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jon Kidwell (00:00):
Do you ever feel like we're missing the person in
professional development, thatthe individual who's going
through the plan isn't really apart of the plan and it's just
this achievement, this businessgoal?
Well, no more.
Today's guest, steve Meller, isgoing to tell us why we need to
bring the personal into theprofessional development and
(00:20):
he's going to talk to us abouthow we grow with a great growth
acronym.
Stay tuned, dive in, get readyto take notes.
Here we go.
Welcome to the Leadwell podcast, the podcast where we interview
mission-driven leaders who aredoing it well.
We ask them what they're doingand how they're doing it so that
(00:41):
you can lead your business andyour people well.
Today's guest, steve Meller,knows a thing or two about high
(01:01):
performance.
He was a former Olympic swimcoach.
He is a high performance coachand he has the company called
Career Competitor, with apodcast after the same name
Career Competitor Podcast.
And he is here to talk to ustoday about why we need to get
personal in the professionaldevelopment arena and how that
(01:22):
is going to help us achieve ourprofessional goals.
Let's dive in with Steve rightnow.
Steve, thank you so much forjoining us on the podcast.
I got the opportunity to go onyours.
It's so great to have you backhere on ours.
Steve Mellor (01:37):
Yeah, I can't tell whether it's a good thing or a
bad thing to go second as theguest.
Well, I'm sure we'll find out.
But I, you know, I always lovebeing able to do exactly this
being a guest on someone's show,them coming and being a guest
vice versa.
You know, it's always fun andjust appreciate the space and
the time on here, man.
Yeah.
Jon Kidwell (01:54):
Well, if you go second, it means that we already
have relationship and that weget to make it personal.
Which is really what we aretalking about today is why we
need to bring in our personaldevelopment and our personal
growth into the workplace andkick us off, and why we need to
do that and what that even means, why we get stuck not doing
(02:15):
that.
Steve Mellor (02:17):
Yeah, keeping things personal.
You know, for me, when I startedmy coaching practice two and a
half years ago now, I realizedquite quickly that the moment I
started to bring up anything ona personal account with someone
even if they approached me aboutall things professional and I
just asked them a small questionabout their personal life to
(02:38):
just help maybe create a littlebit more information or just
context around whatever it wasthat we were discussing, you
could see this barrier just goup right away, this discomfort,
this moving and gettinguncomfortable in their chair and
just go well, what's that about?
Why is it that the moment we getpersonal, we get uncomfortable?
Why is it the moment we getpersonal, people get defensive,
(03:01):
whatever it might be, and for me, I saw that so often early on
that I just said well, I'mgravitating towards this, I'm
running towards this, I'm goingto get people to start talking
more on a personal level moreconsistently within the work
that I do to help them see thatthrough personal growth comes
professional growth, and I thinkwe've been getting that the
(03:21):
wrong way around for so long.
We've been saying if I keepgoing professionally, if I keep
achieving this, if I keephitting this milestone, then
surely all these other aspectsof my personal life are going to
fall into place.
And when we get the personalinvestment right, so many of
(03:43):
those professional ambitionsthat we have suddenly those
milestones, not only do we checkthem off, I'd argue, we even
start to do it a little bitquicker as well.
Jon Kidwell (03:53):
Oh man, Okay, so a huge kind of paradigm shift
there, that I'm going to achievethese professional milestones
so that I can grow personally.
And what I think I just heardyou say is actually no, my
friend, it is focus on thepersonal growth and then the
professional achievements comeout of that.
Is that what you're saying?
Steve Mellor (04:13):
That's what I'm saying, man, and again, it comes
from just watching, whether itbe a one-on-one session that I'm
doing with a client, or theseworkshop scenarios where you
just propose something to theroom and you just feel all this
silence and at first you're like, is it something I said?
Did the question come out wrong?
And then you go well, wait asecond.
(04:34):
No, I think it's the content ofwhat I just put in this
question gets peopleuncomfortable.
As opposed to just saying, hey,what might be some ways that
you can improve in the work thatyou're doing right now, and
people having a laundry list ofthings that they've got on their
list of things to do in theirjob today to say, no, no, no.
What might it look like for youto just see some improvement in
(04:55):
your life right now, away fromthe workplace and people going
well, I can't remember the lasttime I made some time just to
even start a list on that,because I'm so, I'm so caught up
in all these other things I'mbeing paid to do.
Why would I take the time tocreate a list and the things I
want to do and and then, andthen suddenly there's this oh,
wait a second, am I doinganything that I want to do right
(05:17):
now and you go.
Well, now we're in the goodstuff, now we're going to get
into the stuff.
That's going to get youuncomfortable, that's going to
force you to maybe reveal a fewthings that you don't want to
reveal about yourself, but inthose revelations comes the
growth.
Jon Kidwell (05:30):
Well it comes, the growth, and you are working
against years of being told eachof us that it's going to be
different, right?
I can think back to wonderfulleaders that I have had that
have said you need to leave homeat home and work at work.
And I just see exactly whatyou're talking about is kind of
(05:50):
a spillover of that to everysingle aspect.
So you finally see some of thearms unfolding and the armor
coming down a little bit, alittle bit.
But how can you, how can I, howcan somebody start to bridge
this gap with the people thatthey lead, to try to make it a
(06:11):
little bit more personal and say, hey, you're the same person at
home as you are at work and wehave different spaces that we
focus on, different priorities.
So let's get real, let's getpersonal.
Like, how do I start to breakthat down and make it personal
in the workplace?
Steve Mellor (06:24):
Yeah, one of my favorite examples to use of this
is when I used to coachswimming.
So my background is in the sportof swimming.
I was an elite swimmer myselfand then I started to coach and
found myself coaching atLouisiana State University for a
number of years and I used goalsheets to begin, like, first
couple of seasons.
I would say, okay, give me yourgoals, tell me what you want to
achieve, etc.
(06:45):
Etc.
And we sit down, we have adiscussion and we and the person
would just give me all theseamazing like thoughts and
perspectives and outlooks onlike this is what I want to get
out of the season.
And as a coach, naive, youngcoach at the time, I would just
go, okay, great, this is awesome, this sounds like we're gonna
have a great season.
We're gonna have a great seasonbecause you just told me all
these things that you're goingto do, and then the season would
go and probably about 30% to40% of these things that all the
(07:09):
athletes would put on paperactually came to fruition.
And now that wasn't menecessarily being a bad coach
and it wasn't them necessarilybeing a bad athlete.
It was more about well, listen,what are we not having a
conversation about.
For me, that's what mycuriosity went to.
It's like what do we need to betalking about at the front end
of the season to make sure thatthat 30, 40% turns into 80, 90%
(07:33):
of true growth, true performance, true optimal performance?
And so I started actually askinglisten, why does this matter to
you?
Why does this matter to you?
Because, chances are, themoment you ask a question about
somebody's, why they're going todrop the environment that
they're operating in and they'reperforming in and they're going
(07:54):
to tell you something on ahuman level, they're going to
actually say listen.
The reason why I want toachieve this time, coach, is
because, since the age ofwhatever, I've believed that
this is what I was capable of.
Boom, right there.
Now we're talking about thehuman.
Now we're getting into thatdifficult conversation of like
(08:14):
okay, well, no-transcript.
(08:36):
I see all these things thatwe're going for and we're
chasing, we're trying to achieveover the next quarter, whatever
it might be.
But what does it look like tostop and say guys, why is this
important to us?
What will this mean to us if wecan actually achieve this?
And suddenly, now it's notabout you're not answering on
behalf of the result anymore,you're answering on behalf of
you, the human being, and why itmatters to you.
Jon Kidwell (08:59):
Let's talk about something we're not talking
about, as you gave us thequestion for, and that is Steve.
If I do this in the workplace,if I do this where I work,
people are going to startthinking that I'm vying for
their job Because I'm going tosay I would like to be able to
do this someday.
People are going to startthinking that I'm just trying to
make it all about me.
People are going to start tolook cross-eyed at me and be
(09:21):
like this person is delusional,like they're never going to be
able to do some of these.
So like, how do I, how do Inavigate that as someone that
wants to freely talk about itand say, hey, I would love to be
X, y and Z one day.
I want to have a C in front ofsomething that I do.
You know what?
I actually want to go start mybusiness, but I'm working here,
(09:43):
you know, for the next five or10 years.
Like that is a radical level ofcandor that we don't talk about
.
Steve Mellor (09:51):
Yeah, and, and you know again, it's why I love
just the name and the, themission of this show man.
It's like it's about doing itwell, but it's about also
acknowledging when you don't,and, and so for me, the one
thing I would love doing withathletes was just giving my
account of as their, as a leaderin that coaching position, for
saying, hey, the reason I'masking you is this here's an
(10:13):
account of how I try to pursue acertain milestone without
conviction, without connectingwith the true why.
But in addition to that, here'salso an example of how, even
when I did that, I still didn'tachieve it.
But what I can tell you is that, by simply getting comfortable
with the why on the front end, Ididn't look at the not
(10:38):
achieving moment, the fallingshort.
I didn't look at that as afailure.
I looked at that as, like,listen, I actually got to my
ceiling based on my why, basedon my purpose, and I learned a
whole bunch in the process.
And now I can look back and say, look, this is how close I just
got, based on establishing thatwhy on the front end.
What was the missing piece?
If I were to go at this again,how can I be even more
(11:01):
convicting in the way in which Ido it, and I think, as leaders,
when we can start to be theexample of that, then people go
listen, I actually want to sharewith you my ultimate goal, my
crazy goal.
I want to tell you why it is.
I believe I'm the one that'scapable of doing it and why I've
believed this my entire life.
And then we get into theseenvironments where we create
conversations where it's okay tonot only share that but to
(11:25):
almost acknowledge like, hey,there's a good chance I'm not
going to do it, there's a goodchance I'm going to fall short,
but it's the going after it,it's that fulfillment and desire
to fulfill potential where weactually see, from a leadership
standpoint at least, what ourpeople are truly capable of.
And it's why, as leaders, wehave to be the ones exemplify
that very approach.
Jon Kidwell (11:45):
Yeah, if it is going to get personal right, if
personal development's coming inthe workplace.
I hear you saying leaders,opposite of, why is investing?
You are first in and you arelast out.
You got to lead the way andsaying here's some of my crazy
aspirations, here's what I seethat is available for all of us.
Here's why I think this isimportant and we're going to go
(12:06):
for it.
Because you know the old thingif we shoot for the moon, at
least we're going to land amongthe stars, right?
That kind of idea, wow, oh,super, super powerful.
So now I would really love toturn it, because we've got some
folks that are bought in andthey're like all right, I'm
tracking with you, steve, we canmake it personal, and you are
(12:26):
out there doing this with folks.
What are some of the keypatterns or themes in personal
development that leads to ahealthy professional achievement
, promotion, kind of furtheringof success?
If you had to drill it downinto some of the patterns, you
see that that any of us can workon.
(12:47):
What might those be?
Steve Mellor (12:49):
yeah, so it actually allows me to quite
easily just present this acronymthat I use.
I take the word growth and Ibreak it into six different
parts of the process, and so theG is gap.
Okay, so we go gap, then we goresistance, then we go ownership
, we go work, we go truth andthen we get to habit at the end.
(13:11):
Okay, so the reason I actuallystart with theap is that some of
your listeners may havelistened to the, may have read
or listened to the book in thisday and age, the Gap in the Game
, and so it's a great book,awesome book, love it.
And what I've actually done inthe work that I do now is like
what would it look like toactually create gaps, as opposed
to this gap being seen as this?
Sometimes we fall into thismindset of you know, oh look, I
(13:35):
can't do this, oh look, I've notbeen able to do this, and kind
of looking at it with thisalmost melancholy, what it look?
And say, hey, what if I notonly created gaps, but those
gaps were the very reason as towhy I then did all this work
after I've created the gap.
And so what does it look liketo not only say, hey, here's the
gap, this is where I want toget to now.
(13:55):
How do I bridge that gap?
And maybe, as I'm bridging thatgap, the gap gets wider and it
gets deeper.
That's the way I create.
That's why how I describe gaps.
Gaps is like, okay, the widethe length of the gap is like
how long is it going to take toget there?
The depth of the gap is wherewe get into the Y, like the that
.
So the deeper, the deeper thegap, the better.
As far as I'm concerned, wewant a whole bunch of depth in
(14:16):
that gap.
So that's just the gap part ofit, and the reason why I go into
so much detail around that isthat what's funny is that you
know all the other stuff untilwe actually get clear on why
we're creating a gap in ourworld and what it might mean for
us to have many gaps in ourworld, what it might mean for us
to have many gaps in our world.
Until we do that work, all theother work, it's never going to
(14:40):
have the sort of motivationcomponent to it if we don't get
really comfortable and clear onwhy we want gaps in our life and
how we can create more of them.
So on a personal level, youknow why that all matters.
I'm happy to go into the otherfive, but at the same time, I
love making it abundantly clearon the front end, like hey, that
?
But at the same time, I lovemaking it abundantly clear on
the front end, like hey, thatgap is something that we
actually we want to be creatinggaps in our life, because it's
telling us that we have a needto grow, we have a need to do
(15:03):
work, we have a need to bemotivated to get up and try
again, and try again, and tryagain every single day.
Jon Kidwell (15:18):
You are creating a scenario where we come to terms
with the fact that there arethings that we want that were
not yet there, right, and that'skind of counter to what we try
to establish in every differentplace in life, where we just
kind of get to move through andit's as painless and comfortable
as possible.
And what I hear you saying isnot only don't fear the gap, but
create the gap and then to becompletely tongue in cheek and
(15:40):
kind of pun intended, mind thegap, because when you mind the
gap, that is when you can setyourself up for tremendous,
amazing growth.
Steve Mellor (15:51):
Yeah, and the reason I put the word resistance
right after the word gap isthat, gosh, I mean, use the
example of new year'sresolutions.
Right, you could use your newyear's resolution whatever it
was january 1st this year.
That could have been your firstgap of 2024 and it could have
been an awesome gap.
But the only thing that'sprevented you from actually
seeing it through or getting itstarted, or whatever it might be
(16:13):
, is that you put a resistanceup right away.
You created a reason why iteither couldn't be done or now's
not a good time to do it.
You created an excuse, you gaveyourself an avoidance tactic,
you did something that preventedyou from actually laying that
first brick of the bridge toactually bridge that gap.
And again, it's why it's soimportant that we get so clear
(16:35):
on the width and the depth ofthat gap, because the likelihood
is, if we do the work on thegap in the front end, any
resistances that come up, we cankind of rationalize them, hear
them and say, well, listen, Ihear it, I see it.
I know I need to work on it,but that gap means enough to me
to still overcome the resistanceand do the work towards
(16:57):
bridging the gap.
Okay so, I've.
Jon Kidwell (16:59):
I've leaned in, I've identified a gap.
It's deep and wide and and Iwant to go for it.
I mean it could be around kindof being conflict avoidant.
It could be around growing inan expertise area.
It could be around soft skills,emotional intelligence.
It could be around presenting,like a number of these kind of
could come in right and thingsthat I want to grow in.
(17:21):
Now I'm feeling the resistance.
And help me, because I knowthat I have done this before and
I experienced this a lot insideof organizations.
You're talking about resistancewhen it's internal, as things
I'm doing.
What about when theconversation turns and it's
something like well, steve, Ican't do this here, right,
(17:43):
they're not helping me do thesethings.
How do we navigate that?
There may be some resistancethat's outside, or at least that
we see is outside of ourcontrol.
Steve Mellor (17:55):
That's right.
So there's levels of resistance, if you will, and so the first
level I call it is interference,and so interference can
sometimes come internally,through limiting beliefs and
went up, and it's just like welive in a world of interference.
Interference is this thing thatis always going to be there.
(18:24):
So the question becomes whatinterference do you need to
respect and listen to?
What interference do you needto just dismiss and move on, no
matter what?
And so so much of what you'retalking about here is that, from
a, you know, just externalstandpoint, it could be in the
form of a bad leader, right?
You know, one of the biggestinterferences that you could be
(18:46):
experiencing right now in yourlife is the fact that you don't
have the kind of leadershipthat's required to bring the
best out of you.
In fact, you have limitingleadership around you that is
dismissing completely the needfor you to do any of this work
that we've spoken about so far.
You know, and like, that is atough, tough interference, which
is why part of the resistance Ialso capture is the stakes like
(19:08):
where, when do you want toactually acknowledge?
Hey, within this resistancepart of the reason why I have
the resistance, because thestakes are high, I'm recognizing
that there's something at stake.
It could be your health.
It could be just your longevityin life, it could be the energy
that you have.
It could be the quality of therelationship you have with those
closest to you.
Whatever it is, the stakes meanenough where your body's going
(19:31):
into doubt, your body's goinginto hesitation, nerves,
whatever it might be.
That's also part of theresistance.
So we have the externalelements.
There's no doubt about it.
But ask yourself, if the stakesare high enough.
You can go both ways.
If the stakes are high enough,we sometimes put that resistance
on ourself.
But if the stakes are also highenough, maybe we can overcome
(19:52):
some of that interference.
Maybe we can be active towardssome of that interference
because we want to.
We want to respect the stakes,we want to do the work toward
the stakes to where we're notletting that resistance get in
our way.
Jon Kidwell (20:04):
I just draws me back to the reason in the
rationale why we need somethingthat is so deep.
Because my brain is doing thislittle like bar chart kind of
going up and down and for thoseon video they can see me doing a
very weird arm motion.
But as the stakes go up, if myreason why is low, I mean I'm
not ever going to go do it right.
(20:25):
But with a high why and highstakes I can still go right,
even in the face of.
I just got to get this done onmy own.
I got to get this done out of adifferent place in my
organization.
I need to find another internaladvocate or mentor or whatever.
It is High Y, high stakes arenecessary to continue to
(20:47):
progress and to deliver highgrowth.
Steve Mellor (20:50):
Yeah, and just to kind of keep on that theme of
the leader part of this as well,you want to go back to what we
said earlier the conversationand the ability just to kind of
connect on this too.
It's like if you, if you don't,if you're not getting that in
the conversation from those thatare leading you, or if you're a
leader that is not putting thiskind of information into
(21:10):
conversations, now's the time to, almost as, as the person being
led, bring it in yourself,insist upon it, or, as the
leader, make it part of theconversation, ask people what's
at stake here.
You know, let them know that byyou asking that question,
you're actually letting themknow that you care.
You care about the fact thatsomething is at stake and it is
(21:30):
from their perspective.
It's not from your perspectiveas the leader, because any
leader can say, hey, listen,guys, we've got a lot at stake
here, we've got a lot of stakehere, we've got a lot of stake,
and everyone in the room couldbe like what, what Can you tell
us what?
Or is it just personal to you?
Whereas when you ask those thatyou're leading, hey, what's at
stake here for you personally?
What do you think is at stakehere for you personally.
Maybe you're going to getsomething from that person that,
(21:53):
as a leader, you can use in awonderful, advantageous way to
bring the best out of them, toremind them at times when they
do hit a slump, when they do hitadversity.
Hey, remember what you told me,what's at stake?
These are the moments where youneed to remind yourself what's
at stake, when you don't want todo the work, when you are
feeling some of that adversity.
Such a powerful tool as aleader if you're willing to just
(22:16):
simply ask a question as simpleas hey, what's at stake here
for you as a leader, if you'rewilling to just simply ask a
question as simple as hey,what's at stake here for you?
Jon Kidwell (22:24):
What is at stake is personal well-being, personal
growth, all of that whichprecedes all of the service, the
leadership, the promotions, theachievements that we are going
to do at work.
And, Steve, I'm so gratefulwhat I have written down outside
of growth and all of that isreal information.
Real feedback equals realgrowth and I heard you just
(22:48):
encourage all of us to flip itand to invite people into this
in a very personal way and mybrain kind of extrapolates it
out to.
We fight so much today withkind of the ownership of
employees and that level ofengagement and people trying to
figure out this life and workand how I want to do it and kind
(23:11):
of how that kind of circlesaround everything, and I hear
you tying it extremely stronglytogether, giving each of us kind
of individual ownership and ourown growth, and then it leads
to great results for all of us.
Steve Mellor (23:24):
That's right, and again, it's the to to a point
you made early on here in thediscussion.
Like we, we do so much work andhave so many discussions around,
hey, let's do a better job ofnot taking work home with us.
Well, when was the last time yousaid, hey, what would it look
like to bring home into theworkplace?
You know, what would it like tobring you into the workplace,
what, like you know, havingthese personal discussions in
(23:45):
the workplace, maybe just thatsheer act alone, or at least
that encouragement alone, couldbe that sort of you know, the
dam starting to break in theworkplace to where people are a
little bit more forthcoming withinformation.
They do feel as though they canspeak up.
You suddenly now start toacquire ideas and thoughts that
otherwise you wouldn't, had younot encouraged them.
(24:08):
Hey, there's a human elementthat I'm going to need everybody
to bring in to the workplacemore consistently, because if we
do professionally performance,whatever lens we look through,
we're going to see benefits inall those areas as well, we have
a homework assignment, and itis to go out and to talk to our
(24:28):
people and to ask them what issomething personal that you
would like to achieve, somethingthat you would love to grow in?
Jon Kidwell (24:38):
We have always said that when a professional need
and a personal passion cometogether, that is where we are
going to get the most growth iswhen we can align these things,
when people can move in to fillbusiness gaps based on things
that they love to do, thatthey're strong at, and so it's
our responsibility as leaders toturn around and say hey, tell
me about something that youreally love to do, that you want
to grow, and tell me about oneof these areas that you'd love
(25:05):
to learn more about the business.
And let's make it personal,let's invite people in, because
when each of us win, we're allgoing to win.
So, steve, before we telleverybody where they can connect
with you, where maybe even theycan get this six step growth
chart, because I'm going tofollow up and be like, hey,
where can I download that?
Can I just staple that Not?
to my forehead but to like rightabove the screen.
Steve Mellor (25:23):
So that I can see it.
Jon Kidwell (25:24):
It's a great.
I love that is a great, greatacronym.
Thank you for sharing that.
But before we do any of that,steve, what does it mean to you
to lead well?
Steve Mellor (25:35):
Well, the biggest commitment I've made in my life
up to this point was becoming ahusband, and after that was
becoming a father.
I also am a man of faith aswell, and it turns out that
health and wellness are massiveto me.
And so for me and I know you doso much on self-leadership.
For me, if I'm not leading meand if I'm not leading those
(25:59):
that matter most to me in anoptimal capacity, then it's
really completely irrelevant howelse I'm leading.
I could be leading phenomenallyin other areas of my life, but
if I'm not leading well in thoseareas, none of it matters.
So, as someone who's spent thelast 25 minutes talking about
personal development, if I'm notassessing my leadership on a
(26:22):
personal level, then I'm notdoing my part towards actually
advocating for everything thatwe've just spent 25 minutes
talking about.
So that's where it comes downto for me, and I assess that
pretty simply.
I just check in with my family.
How am I doing?
How are we doing Between me andmy wife having these little
(26:47):
30-second, one-minute moments?
Is there anything I'm missingright now?
Is there anything that we needto be discussing that we're not
discussing?
These same questions that we'vekind of gone over here today.
Are you asking those samequestions to the people that
truly matter most to you in yourlife?
My daughter's four, going on 14,and she will tell me daddy,
you're not spending enough timewith me.
Daddy, you're not doing this,and I love it.
Bring it on.
Hold me accountable, that'swhat I want.
(27:08):
My son is three and a half.
As long as I kick somethingaround in the backyard with him
pretty much daily, he's happy.
So it's just like these are theways that I can assess my
leadership and how I can leadwell, and I just encourage
everybody to have that honestlook in the mirror and say like,
hey, am I willing to do this?
And I assure you to the samesentiment that I provided on the
(27:29):
front end, if you're leadingwell at home, if you're leading
well in health, I assure youyou're going to be leading well
in the workplace as well.
Jon Kidwell (27:36):
You cannot give something you don't have, and I
hear you saying that we need tomake sure that we have it so
that we can give it as leaders,thank you.
Thank you so much, steve, fortoday, for talking about
personal growth inside theworkplace, for giving us that
great picture of what it lookslike to lead well, where can
people connect with you?
For speaking, for books, forcoaching, whatever that might be
(27:59):
?
Where can people go to connectwith you?
Steve Mellor (28:02):
Yeah, the first thing I always tell people is
directly steve atcareercompetitorcom.
Career Competitor is the nameof the business.
It's the name of the podcastyou can.
Also, if you're a social person, you can hop on social media at
Coach Steve Mellor Turns out, Iwas able to get that name,
which must mean I'm the only oneI don't know.
Maybe it's true, Maybe it's not,I don't know.
And also I do have a book.
(28:23):
We joke about it Shock theWorld A Competitor's Guide to
Realizing your Potential.
If you are on the video, it'shovering over my left shoulder
here.
I've been told it's a good readand so all I can do is tell you
what others tell me.
And so, yeah, it's a good read.
But like I said at the frontthe front part of that steve at
careercompatitorcom.
I'd love to hear from you anddiscuss how I can be of service
(28:46):
to you in any way.
Jon Kidwell (28:47):
Steve, thank you again for coming on, and
everybody as we kind of processthrough this.
There's a lot for us to takeaway, some action items, but
just remember real relationshipswith real information, real
feedback equals real growth andI hope each of you will lean
into that and to do it well.
Be well, my friends, Lead onand God bless.
Do you ever feel like we're missing the person in
professional development, thatthe individual who's going
through the plan isn't really apart of the plan and it's just
this achievement, this businessgoal?
Well, no more.
Today's guest, steve Meller, isgoing to tell us why we need to
bring the personal into theprofessional development and
(00:20):
he's going to talk to us abouthow we grow with a great growth
acronym.
Stay tuned, dive in, get readyto take notes.
Here we go.
Welcome to the Leadwell podcast, the podcast where we interview
mission-driven leaders who aredoing it well.
We ask them what they're doingand how they're doing it so that
(00:41):
you can lead your business andyour people well.
Today's guest, steve Meller,knows a thing or two about high
(01:01):
performance.
He was a former Olympic swimcoach.
He is a high performance coachand he has the company called
Career Competitor, with apodcast after the same name
Career Competitor Podcast.
And he is here to talk to ustoday about why we need to get
personal in the professionaldevelopment arena and how that
(01:22):
is going to help us achieve ourprofessional goals.
Let's dive in with Steve rightnow.
Steve, thank you so much forjoining us on the podcast.
I got the opportunity to go onyours.
It's so great to have you backhere on ours.
Steve Mellor (01:37):
Yeah, I can't tell whether it's a good thing or a
bad thing to go second as theguest.
Well, I'm sure we'll find out.
But I, you know, I always lovebeing able to do exactly this
being a guest on someone's show,them coming and being a guest
vice versa.
You know, it's always fun andjust appreciate the space and
the time on here, man.
Yeah.
Jon Kidwell (01:54):
Well, if you go second, it means that we already
have relationship and that weget to make it personal.
Which is really what we aretalking about today is why we
need to bring in our personaldevelopment and our personal
growth into the workplace andkick us off, and why we need to
do that and what that even means, why we get stuck not doing
(02:15):
that.
Steve Mellor (02:17):
Yeah, keeping things personal.
You know, for me, when I startedmy coaching practice two and a
half years ago now, I realizedquite quickly that the moment I
started to bring up anything ona personal account with someone
even if they approached me aboutall things professional and I
just asked them a small questionabout their personal life to
(02:38):
just help maybe create a littlebit more information or just
context around whatever it wasthat we were discussing, you
could see this barrier just goup right away, this discomfort,
this moving and gettinguncomfortable in their chair and
just go well, what's that about?
Why is it that the moment we getpersonal, we get uncomfortable?
Why is it the moment we getpersonal, people get defensive,
(03:01):
whatever it might be, and for me, I saw that so often early on
that I just said well, I'mgravitating towards this, I'm
running towards this, I'm goingto get people to start talking
more on a personal level moreconsistently within the work
that I do to help them see thatthrough personal growth comes
professional growth, and I thinkwe've been getting that the
(03:21):
wrong way around for so long.
We've been saying if I keepgoing professionally, if I keep
achieving this, if I keephitting this milestone, then
surely all these other aspectsof my personal life are going to
fall into place.
And when we get the personalinvestment right, so many of
(03:43):
those professional ambitionsthat we have suddenly those
milestones, not only do we checkthem off, I'd argue, we even
start to do it a little bitquicker as well.
Jon Kidwell (03:53):
Oh man, Okay, so a huge kind of paradigm shift
there, that I'm going to achievethese professional milestones
so that I can grow personally.
And what I think I just heardyou say is actually no, my
friend, it is focus on thepersonal growth and then the
professional achievements comeout of that.
Is that what you're saying?
Steve Mellor (04:13):
That's what I'm saying, man, and again, it comes
from just watching, whether itbe a one-on-one session that I'm
doing with a client, or theseworkshop scenarios where you
just propose something to theroom and you just feel all this
silence and at first you're like, is it something I said?
Did the question come out wrong?
And then you go well, wait asecond.
(04:34):
No, I think it's the content ofwhat I just put in this
question gets peopleuncomfortable.
As opposed to just saying, hey,what might be some ways that
you can improve in the work thatyou're doing right now, and
people having a laundry list ofthings that they've got on their
list of things to do in theirjob today to say, no, no, no.
What might it look like for youto just see some improvement in
(04:55):
your life right now, away fromthe workplace and people going
well, I can't remember the lasttime I made some time just to
even start a list on that,because I'm so, I'm so caught up
in all these other things I'mbeing paid to do.
Why would I take the time tocreate a list and the things I
want to do and and then, andthen suddenly there's this oh,
wait a second, am I doinganything that I want to do right
(05:17):
now and you go.
Well, now we're in the goodstuff, now we're going to get
into the stuff.
That's going to get youuncomfortable, that's going to
force you to maybe reveal a fewthings that you don't want to
reveal about yourself, but inthose revelations comes the
growth.
Jon Kidwell (05:30):
Well it comes, the growth, and you are working
against years of being told eachof us that it's going to be
different, right?
I can think back to wonderfulleaders that I have had that
have said you need to leave homeat home and work at work.
And I just see exactly whatyou're talking about is kind of
(05:50):
a spillover of that to everysingle aspect.
So you finally see some of thearms unfolding and the armor
coming down a little bit, alittle bit.
But how can you, how can I, howcan somebody start to bridge
this gap with the people thatthey lead, to try to make it a
(06:11):
little bit more personal and say, hey, you're the same person at
home as you are at work and wehave different spaces that we
focus on, different priorities.
So let's get real, let's getpersonal.
Like, how do I start to breakthat down and make it personal
in the workplace?
Steve Mellor (06:24):
Yeah, one of my favorite examples to use of this
is when I used to coachswimming.
So my background is in the sportof swimming.
I was an elite swimmer myselfand then I started to coach and
found myself coaching atLouisiana State University for a
number of years and I used goalsheets to begin, like, first
couple of seasons.
I would say, okay, give me yourgoals, tell me what you want to
achieve, etc.
(06:45):
Etc.
And we sit down, we have adiscussion and we and the person
would just give me all theseamazing like thoughts and
perspectives and outlooks onlike this is what I want to get
out of the season.
And as a coach, naive, youngcoach at the time, I would just
go, okay, great, this is awesome, this sounds like we're gonna
have a great season.
We're gonna have a great seasonbecause you just told me all
these things that you're goingto do, and then the season would
go and probably about 30% to40% of these things that all the
(07:09):
athletes would put on paperactually came to fruition.
And now that wasn't menecessarily being a bad coach
and it wasn't them necessarilybeing a bad athlete.
It was more about well, listen,what are we not having a
conversation about.
For me, that's what mycuriosity went to.
It's like what do we need to betalking about at the front end
of the season to make sure thatthat 30, 40% turns into 80, 90%
(07:33):
of true growth, true performance, true optimal performance?
And so I started actually askinglisten, why does this matter to
you?
Why does this matter to you?
Because, chances are, themoment you ask a question about
somebody's, why they're going todrop the environment that
they're operating in and they'reperforming in and they're going
(07:54):
to tell you something on ahuman level, they're going to
actually say listen.
The reason why I want toachieve this time, coach, is
because, since the age ofwhatever, I've believed that
this is what I was capable of.
Boom, right there.
Now we're talking about thehuman.
Now we're getting into thatdifficult conversation of like
(08:14):
okay, well, no-transcript.
(08:36):
I see all these things thatwe're going for and we're
chasing, we're trying to achieveover the next quarter, whatever
it might be.
But what does it look like tostop and say guys, why is this
important to us?
What will this mean to us if wecan actually achieve this?
And suddenly, now it's notabout you're not answering on
behalf of the result anymore,you're answering on behalf of
you, the human being, and why itmatters to you.
Jon Kidwell (08:59):
Let's talk about something we're not talking
about, as you gave us thequestion for, and that is Steve.
If I do this in the workplace,if I do this where I work,
people are going to startthinking that I'm vying for
their job Because I'm going tosay I would like to be able to
do this someday.
People are going to startthinking that I'm just trying to
make it all about me.
People are going to start tolook cross-eyed at me and be
(09:21):
like this person is delusional,like they're never going to be
able to do some of these.
So like, how do I, how do Inavigate that as someone that
wants to freely talk about itand say, hey, I would love to be
X, y and Z one day.
I want to have a C in front ofsomething that I do.
You know what?
I actually want to go start mybusiness, but I'm working here,
(09:43):
you know, for the next five or10 years.
Like that is a radical level ofcandor that we don't talk about
.
Steve Mellor (09:51):
Yeah, and, and you know again, it's why I love
just the name and the, themission of this show man.
It's like it's about doing itwell, but it's about also
acknowledging when you don't,and, and so for me, the one
thing I would love doing withathletes was just giving my
account of as their, as a leaderin that coaching position, for
saying, hey, the reason I'masking you is this here's an
(10:13):
account of how I try to pursue acertain milestone without
conviction, without connectingwith the true why.
But in addition to that, here'salso an example of how, even
when I did that, I still didn'tachieve it.
But what I can tell you is that, by simply getting comfortable
with the why on the front end, Ididn't look at the not
(10:38):
achieving moment, the fallingshort.
I didn't look at that as afailure.
I looked at that as, like,listen, I actually got to my
ceiling based on my why, basedon my purpose, and I learned a
whole bunch in the process.
And now I can look back and say, look, this is how close I just
got, based on establishing thatwhy on the front end.
What was the missing piece?
If I were to go at this again,how can I be even more
(11:01):
convicting in the way in which Ido it, and I think, as leaders,
when we can start to be theexample of that, then people go
listen, I actually want to sharewith you my ultimate goal, my
crazy goal.
I want to tell you why it is.
I believe I'm the one that'scapable of doing it and why I've
believed this my entire life.
And then we get into theseenvironments where we create
conversations where it's okay tonot only share that but to
(11:25):
almost acknowledge like, hey,there's a good chance I'm not
going to do it, there's a goodchance I'm going to fall short,
but it's the going after it,it's that fulfillment and desire
to fulfill potential where weactually see, from a leadership
standpoint at least, what ourpeople are truly capable of.
And it's why, as leaders, wehave to be the ones exemplify
that very approach.
Jon Kidwell (11:45):
Yeah, if it is going to get personal right, if
personal development's coming inthe workplace.
I hear you saying leaders,opposite of, why is investing?
You are first in and you arelast out.
You got to lead the way andsaying here's some of my crazy
aspirations, here's what I seethat is available for all of us.
Here's why I think this isimportant and we're going to go
(12:06):
for it.
Because you know the old thingif we shoot for the moon, at
least we're going to land amongthe stars, right?
That kind of idea, wow, oh,super, super powerful.
So now I would really love toturn it, because we've got some
folks that are bought in andthey're like all right, I'm
tracking with you, steve, we canmake it personal, and you are
(12:26):
out there doing this with folks.
What are some of the keypatterns or themes in personal
development that leads to ahealthy professional achievement
, promotion, kind of furtheringof success?
If you had to drill it downinto some of the patterns, you
see that that any of us can workon.
(12:47):
What might those be?
Steve Mellor (12:49):
yeah, so it actually allows me to quite
easily just present this acronymthat I use.
I take the word growth and Ibreak it into six different
parts of the process, and so theG is gap.
Okay, so we go gap, then we goresistance, then we go ownership
, we go work, we go truth andthen we get to habit at the end.
(13:11):
Okay, so the reason I actuallystart with theap is that some of
your listeners may havelistened to the, may have read
or listened to the book in thisday and age, the Gap in the Game
, and so it's a great book,awesome book, love it.
And what I've actually done inthe work that I do now is like
what would it look like toactually create gaps, as opposed
to this gap being seen as this?
Sometimes we fall into thismindset of you know, oh look, I
(13:35):
can't do this, oh look, I've notbeen able to do this, and kind
of looking at it with thisalmost melancholy, what it look?
And say, hey, what if I notonly created gaps, but those
gaps were the very reason as towhy I then did all this work
after I've created the gap.
And so what does it look liketo not only say, hey, here's the
gap, this is where I want toget to now.
(13:55):
How do I bridge that gap?
And maybe, as I'm bridging thatgap, the gap gets wider and it
gets deeper.
That's the way I create.
That's why how I describe gaps.
Gaps is like, okay, the widethe length of the gap is like
how long is it going to take toget there?
The depth of the gap is wherewe get into the Y, like the that
.
So the deeper, the deeper thegap, the better.
As far as I'm concerned, wewant a whole bunch of depth in
(14:16):
that gap.
So that's just the gap part ofit, and the reason why I go into
so much detail around that isthat what's funny is that you
know all the other stuff untilwe actually get clear on why
we're creating a gap in ourworld and what it might mean for
us to have many gaps in ourworld, what it might mean for us
to have many gaps in our world.
Until we do that work, all theother work, it's never going to
(14:40):
have the sort of motivationcomponent to it if we don't get
really comfortable and clear onwhy we want gaps in our life and
how we can create more of them.
So on a personal level, youknow why that all matters.
I'm happy to go into the otherfive, but at the same time, I
love making it abundantly clearon the front end, like hey, that
?
But at the same time, I lovemaking it abundantly clear on
the front end, like hey, thatgap is something that we
actually we want to be creatinggaps in our life, because it's
telling us that we have a needto grow, we have a need to do
(15:03):
work, we have a need to bemotivated to get up and try
again, and try again, and tryagain every single day.
Jon Kidwell (15:18):
You are creating a scenario where we come to terms
with the fact that there arethings that we want that were
not yet there, right, and that'skind of counter to what we try
to establish in every differentplace in life, where we just
kind of get to move through andit's as painless and comfortable
as possible.
And what I hear you saying isnot only don't fear the gap, but
create the gap and then to becompletely tongue in cheek and
(15:40):
kind of pun intended, mind thegap, because when you mind the
gap, that is when you can setyourself up for tremendous,
amazing growth.
Steve Mellor (15:51):
Yeah, and the reason I put the word resistance
right after the word gap isthat, gosh, I mean, use the
example of new year'sresolutions.
Right, you could use your newyear's resolution whatever it
was january 1st this year.
That could have been your firstgap of 2024 and it could have
been an awesome gap.
But the only thing that'sprevented you from actually
seeing it through or getting itstarted, or whatever it might be
(16:13):
, is that you put a resistanceup right away.
You created a reason why iteither couldn't be done or now's
not a good time to do it.
You created an excuse, you gaveyourself an avoidance tactic,
you did something that preventedyou from actually laying that
first brick of the bridge toactually bridge that gap.
And again, it's why it's soimportant that we get so clear
(16:35):
on the width and the depth ofthat gap, because the likelihood
is, if we do the work on thegap in the front end, any
resistances that come up, we cankind of rationalize them, hear
them and say, well, listen, Ihear it, I see it.
I know I need to work on it,but that gap means enough to me
to still overcome the resistanceand do the work towards
(16:57):
bridging the gap.
Okay so, I've.
Jon Kidwell (16:59):
I've leaned in, I've identified a gap.
It's deep and wide and and Iwant to go for it.
I mean it could be around kindof being conflict avoidant.
It could be around growing inan expertise area.
It could be around soft skills,emotional intelligence.
It could be around presenting,like a number of these kind of
could come in right and thingsthat I want to grow in.
(17:21):
Now I'm feeling the resistance.
And help me, because I knowthat I have done this before and
I experienced this a lot insideof organizations.
You're talking about resistancewhen it's internal, as things
I'm doing.
What about when theconversation turns and it's
something like well, steve, Ican't do this here, right,
(17:43):
they're not helping me do thesethings.
How do we navigate that?
There may be some resistancethat's outside, or at least that
we see is outside of ourcontrol.
Steve Mellor (17:55):
That's right.
So there's levels of resistance, if you will, and so the first
level I call it is interference,and so interference can
sometimes come internally,through limiting beliefs and
went up, and it's just like welive in a world of interference.
Interference is this thing thatis always going to be there.
(18:24):
So the question becomes whatinterference do you need to
respect and listen to?
What interference do you needto just dismiss and move on, no
matter what?
And so so much of what you'retalking about here is that, from
a, you know, just externalstandpoint, it could be in the
form of a bad leader, right?
You know, one of the biggestinterferences that you could be
(18:46):
experiencing right now in yourlife is the fact that you don't
have the kind of leadershipthat's required to bring the
best out of you.
In fact, you have limitingleadership around you that is
dismissing completely the needfor you to do any of this work
that we've spoken about so far.
You know, and like, that is atough, tough interference, which
is why part of the resistance Ialso capture is the stakes like
(19:08):
where, when do you want toactually acknowledge?
Hey, within this resistancepart of the reason why I have
the resistance, because thestakes are high, I'm recognizing
that there's something at stake.
It could be your health.
It could be just your longevityin life, it could be the energy
that you have.
It could be the quality of therelationship you have with those
closest to you.
Whatever it is, the stakes meanenough where your body's going
(19:31):
into doubt, your body's goinginto hesitation, nerves,
whatever it might be.
That's also part of theresistance.
So we have the externalelements.
There's no doubt about it.
But ask yourself, if the stakesare high enough.
You can go both ways.
If the stakes are high enough,we sometimes put that resistance
on ourself.
But if the stakes are also highenough, maybe we can overcome
(19:52):
some of that interference.
Maybe we can be active towardssome of that interference
because we want to.
We want to respect the stakes,we want to do the work toward
the stakes to where we're notletting that resistance get in
our way.
Jon Kidwell (20:04):
I just draws me back to the reason in the
rationale why we need somethingthat is so deep.
Because my brain is doing thislittle like bar chart kind of
going up and down and for thoseon video they can see me doing a
very weird arm motion.
But as the stakes go up, if myreason why is low, I mean I'm
not ever going to go do it right.
(20:25):
But with a high why and highstakes I can still go right,
even in the face of.
I just got to get this done onmy own.
I got to get this done out of adifferent place in my
organization.
I need to find another internaladvocate or mentor or whatever.
It is High Y, high stakes arenecessary to continue to
(20:47):
progress and to deliver highgrowth.
Steve Mellor (20:50):
Yeah, and just to kind of keep on that theme of
the leader part of this as well,you want to go back to what we
said earlier the conversationand the ability just to kind of
connect on this too.
It's like if you, if you don't,if you're not getting that in
the conversation from those thatare leading you, or if you're a
leader that is not putting thiskind of information into
(21:10):
conversations, now's the time to, almost as, as the person being
led, bring it in yourself,insist upon it, or, as the
leader, make it part of theconversation, ask people what's
at stake here.
You know, let them know that byyou asking that question,
you're actually letting themknow that you care.
You care about the fact thatsomething is at stake and it is
(21:30):
from their perspective.
It's not from your perspectiveas the leader, because any
leader can say, hey, listen,guys, we've got a lot at stake
here, we've got a lot of stakehere, we've got a lot of stake,
and everyone in the room couldbe like what, what Can you tell
us what?
Or is it just personal to you?
Whereas when you ask those thatyou're leading, hey, what's at
stake here for you personally?
What do you think is at stakehere for you personally.
Maybe you're going to getsomething from that person that,
(21:53):
as a leader, you can use in awonderful, advantageous way to
bring the best out of them, toremind them at times when they
do hit a slump, when they do hitadversity.
Hey, remember what you told me,what's at stake?
These are the moments where youneed to remind yourself what's
at stake, when you don't want todo the work, when you are
feeling some of that adversity.
Such a powerful tool as aleader if you're willing to just
(22:16):
simply ask a question as simpleas hey, what's at stake here
for you as a leader, if you'rewilling to just simply ask a
question as simple as hey,what's at stake here for you?
Jon Kidwell (22:24):
What is at stake is personal well-being, personal
growth, all of that whichprecedes all of the service, the
leadership, the promotions, theachievements that we are going
to do at work.
And, Steve, I'm so gratefulwhat I have written down outside
of growth and all of that isreal information.
Real feedback equals realgrowth and I heard you just
(22:48):
encourage all of us to flip itand to invite people into this
in a very personal way and mybrain kind of extrapolates it
out to.
We fight so much today withkind of the ownership of
employees and that level ofengagement and people trying to
figure out this life and workand how I want to do it and kind
(23:11):
of how that kind of circlesaround everything, and I hear
you tying it extremely stronglytogether, giving each of us kind
of individual ownership and ourown growth, and then it leads
to great results for all of us.
Steve Mellor (23:24):
That's right, and again, it's the to to a point
you made early on here in thediscussion.
Like we, we do so much work andhave so many discussions around,
hey, let's do a better job ofnot taking work home with us.
Well, when was the last time yousaid, hey, what would it look
like to bring home into theworkplace?
You know, what would it like tobring you into the workplace,
what, like you know, havingthese personal discussions in
(23:45):
the workplace, maybe just thatsheer act alone, or at least
that encouragement alone, couldbe that sort of you know, the
dam starting to break in theworkplace to where people are a
little bit more forthcoming withinformation.
They do feel as though they canspeak up.
You suddenly now start toacquire ideas and thoughts that
otherwise you wouldn't, had younot encouraged them.
(24:08):
Hey, there's a human elementthat I'm going to need everybody
to bring in to the workplacemore consistently, because if we
do professionally performance,whatever lens we look through,
we're going to see benefits inall those areas as well, we have
a homework assignment, and itis to go out and to talk to our
(24:28):
people and to ask them what issomething personal that you
would like to achieve, somethingthat you would love to grow in?
Jon Kidwell (24:38):
We have always said that when a professional need
and a personal passion cometogether, that is where we are
going to get the most growth iswhen we can align these things,
when people can move in to fillbusiness gaps based on things
that they love to do, thatthey're strong at, and so it's
our responsibility as leaders toturn around and say hey, tell
me about something that youreally love to do, that you want
to grow, and tell me about oneof these areas that you'd love
(25:05):
to learn more about the business.
And let's make it personal,let's invite people in, because
when each of us win, we're allgoing to win.
So, steve, before we telleverybody where they can connect
with you, where maybe even theycan get this six step growth
chart, because I'm going tofollow up and be like, hey,
where can I download that?
Can I just staple that Not?
to my forehead but to like rightabove the screen.
Steve Mellor (25:23):
So that I can see it.
Jon Kidwell (25:24):
It's a great.
I love that is a great, greatacronym.
Thank you for sharing that.
But before we do any of that,steve, what does it mean to you
to lead well?
Steve Mellor (25:35):
Well, the biggest commitment I've made in my life
up to this point was becoming ahusband, and after that was
becoming a father.
I also am a man of faith aswell, and it turns out that
health and wellness are massiveto me.
And so for me and I know you doso much on self-leadership.
For me, if I'm not leading meand if I'm not leading those
(25:59):
that matter most to me in anoptimal capacity, then it's
really completely irrelevant howelse I'm leading.
I could be leading phenomenallyin other areas of my life, but
if I'm not leading well in thoseareas, none of it matters.
So, as someone who's spent thelast 25 minutes talking about
personal development, if I'm notassessing my leadership on a
(26:22):
personal level, then I'm notdoing my part towards actually
advocating for everything thatwe've just spent 25 minutes
talking about.
So that's where it comes downto for me, and I assess that
pretty simply.
I just check in with my family.
How am I doing?
How are we doing Between me andmy wife having these little
(26:47):
30-second, one-minute moments?
Is there anything I'm missingright now?
Is there anything that we needto be discussing that we're not
discussing?
These same questions that we'vekind of gone over here today.
Are you asking those samequestions to the people that
truly matter most to you in yourlife?
My daughter's four, going on 14,and she will tell me daddy,
you're not spending enough timewith me.
Daddy, you're not doing this,and I love it.
Bring it on.
Hold me accountable, that'swhat I want.
(27:08):
My son is three and a half.
As long as I kick somethingaround in the backyard with him
pretty much daily, he's happy.
So it's just like these are theways that I can assess my
leadership and how I can leadwell, and I just encourage
everybody to have that honestlook in the mirror and say like,
hey, am I willing to do this?
And I assure you to the samesentiment that I provided on the
(27:29):
front end, if you're leadingwell at home, if you're leading
well in health, I assure youyou're going to be leading well
in the workplace as well.
Jon Kidwell (27:36):
You cannot give something you don't have, and I
hear you saying that we need tomake sure that we have it so
that we can give it as leaders,thank you.
Thank you so much, steve, fortoday, for talking about
personal growth inside theworkplace, for giving us that
great picture of what it lookslike to lead well, where can
people connect with you?
For speaking, for books, forcoaching, whatever that might be
(27:59):
?
Where can people go to connectwith you?
Steve Mellor (28:02):
Yeah, the first thing I always tell people is
directly steve atcareercompetitorcom.
Career Competitor is the nameof the business.
It's the name of the podcastyou can.
Also, if you're a social person, you can hop on social media at
Coach Steve Mellor Turns out, Iwas able to get that name,
which must mean I'm the only oneI don't know.
Maybe it's true, Maybe it's not,I don't know.
And also I do have a book.
(28:23):
We joke about it Shock theWorld A Competitor's Guide to
Realizing your Potential.
If you are on the video, it'shovering over my left shoulder
here.
I've been told it's a good readand so all I can do is tell you
what others tell me.
And so, yeah, it's a good read.
But like I said at the frontthe front part of that steve at
careercompatitorcom.
I'd love to hear from you anddiscuss how I can be of service
(28:46):
to you in any way.
Jon Kidwell (28:47):
Steve, thank you again for coming on, and
everybody as we kind of processthrough this.
There's a lot for us to takeaway, some action items, but
just remember real relationshipswith real information, real
feedback equals real growth andI hope each of you will lean
into that and to do it well.
Be well, my friends, Lead onand God bless.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com