November 23, 2021 • 48 mins
Leo invites his close friend Stephanie Solis to discuss “witchy” things. Stephanie shares how she discovered that meditation was a personal strength, the challenges and rewards of connecting to ancestors as a biracial person, and the difference between reading about spiritual concepts and actually trying them.
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By: Leo Yockey
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Test test test seeing how loudthe dishwasher is compared to me
(00:06):
on the microphone test, testtest. Oh, and there was Raja.
Hey, Raja, what's going onbuddy?
(00:27):
Hello, and welcome to anotherepisode of the Leo Yockey Show,
the show where I Leo Yockey getinterrupted by my cat as he
walks across the desk and rightin front of the microphone, and
you probably heard him brushedinto it. It's also where I
interview guests about theuniversal truths in their unique
(00:47):
life paths. Roger, get your buttout of my face. How are we doing
today? It is Man, I wish I wasvideo recording right now Raj,
get your butt out of my face.
Anyway, this is probably notinteresting to you, because
podcasting is an audio medium.
Oh, he's hitting his tail on themicrophone. Now I might have to
re record this. This is adisaster. Anyway, this is
(01:08):
perfect, though, because myguest today is also a cat
parent. Not that we talk aboutthat at all. But you know, in
the spirit of Russia, stop it.
In the spirit of cat parenthood,and all that it is I might try
to keep this in if if the audioquality isn't too bad. Anyway,
last episode with Criss AngelMurphy, we talked a little bit
(01:29):
about, you know, connecting withsome of our ancestors and what
that process looks like for us.
And I'm really excited that thisepisode is coming out
immediately after that, becausewe do a much deeper dive into
all that today, with my verygood personal friend, Stephanie
solace. She is amazing. She'sbiracial, like me, she's half
(01:52):
Filipino. And she has spent alot of time as of late really
trying to connect with thoseFilipino ancestors. And I really
admired watching that progress,because she shared a lot of it,
both privately and on socialmedia, I got a link to her
social media in the show notes.
I really enjoyed thisconversation. And I think you
will, too. We're gonna betalking a lot about the
(02:14):
importance of just tryingthings, and seeing where things
go. And just figuring kind ofkind of just figuring things out
as you go. Whether it'smeditation, you know, getting in
touch with your spirituality, oryour ancestors, or really any
other aspect of your life. Thatis such an important lesson. And
(02:34):
I'm so glad that Stephaniereally drills at home in this
episode. The other day, I had, Ihad like those featured photos
come up on my phone of likememories and stuff like that.
And I found a bunch of picturesand videos that I took at my
local park back in March. And Iwas recording videos trying to
promote this podcast andannounced that I was starting
(02:55):
it. And oh my god, y'all I hadno idea what I was trying to do.
I had no idea what I was saying.
It was a disaster. I clearlydidn't have a strong vision yet
for the podcast. I wasn'tcomfortable. You know, being on
camera and talking in the parkin public where strangers might
see me and it was a mess. Butwithout getting out there and
(03:19):
starting that step. There's noway that the podcast and my Tik
Tok and all of that stuff wouldbe where it is today. Speaking
of Tik Tok, Stephanie and I areboth on Tik Tok. You should find
us there. Yeah, like I said,Stephanie is great. I really
enjoyed the conversation that wehad on the record. It's, you
know, reminiscent of the typesof conversations that we have in
(03:40):
real life. So just continuing onwith the theme of letting on be
a fly on the wall. And yeah,without further ado, here is
Stephanie solace.
All right, we are finallyrecording. How's it going?
(04:01):
Stephanie?
Awesome. How are you?
I'm good. I am so much betternow that we've had, honestly,
more than a podcast interviews,length of a conversation before
the interview, all stuff thatwill never be on the record for
the podcast. So thank you somuch. This is this is why I
bring my real friends on to thepodcast and not just random
(04:23):
people from my network.
That's awesome. That's good tohear.
Yeah, peek behind the curtainfor the listeners. If it wasn't
clear, we've been talking forlike 15 minutes already. So
Stephanie is one of the realones. One of my friends from IRL
as the kids say, do they saythat? Um, I think so. If you're
(04:46):
a youth and you're listening tothis, let me know if you say
IRL, in a sentence, or if I justmade myself sound old. Anyway,
we actually did a practiceinterview you and I, before I
started the show way back inlike April or something like
that, we had a great interview,I realized after the fact
(05:09):
actually don't think I told youthis, that the audio was all
spliced together. So instead ofhaving separate audio files for
each of us, it was all together.
And if it wasn't for that, Imight have actually released it
because we had this greatconversation about you going
back to school to learn machinelearning, AI, artificial
(05:29):
intelligence, yeah, artificialintelligence. And you know, kind
of your journey of like being awoman in tech and what all
that's been like, and it's, itwas really cool. And now, in
season two, and however, manymonths later, I didn't bring you
on to talk about any ofthis, make a Patreon, how people
(05:49):
pay extra, and they can hearmore of my wonderful fucking
boys.
I love it. I love that you justfully invited yourself out.
You're like, not only are yougonna make paid content, but I
will be part of that content.
No, I mean, to release the oldwine. Yeah, yeah, I feel like,
yeah, that's that's that pastthat abundance mindset. As they
(06:10):
say, in the anyway, I think I'mgoing to put something in as a
preface in the intro, explaininghow we ended up in that in that
book club thing together so thatpeople kind of understand. So
after we did that, that bookclub, and we kind of learned
(06:31):
about Cymatics. And what thatmeans to explore our
relationship with our body andtrauma, specifically, from the
perspective of being a person ofcolor. I don't know if you were
already on this path,beforehand. But definitely
afterwards, it seems like youreally did a deep dive into
exploring your Filipino side,and you you know, are also a
(06:55):
biracial, half white person likeme. And I also in that book club
felt really inspired by the ideaof kind of exploring my
Tanzanian side and connectingwith those ancestors. And I just
kind of just with all the otherthings going on, I never really
(07:17):
did it. And you did. So I lovethat. And I want to just kind of
talk more about like, what thatexperience has been like for
you. So I guess before anythingelse, like was that something
that you were already exploringbefore we did that book club
back in like January or Februaryof this year?
Yeah. So I had been actuallydoing another book club in
(07:39):
tandem. And that one is over 12months. So I'm actually still in
that book club right now. And Ihad always been sort of
interested in reconnecting to myFilipino roots. Um, I feel like
I'd been doing a lot of work upuntil then I like, you know, I'd
always be like, Oh, I'm feel I'mhalf Filipino. And I really want
(07:59):
to connect to like those rootsand, and, and learn what it was
like, like pre colonization, youknow, what are the practices?
What's in my blood? And I'm,like, never talked to my dad.
The Filipino one. So it's like,how am I How am I like
glorifying Filipino identity,when I'm not even talking to the
Filipino people in my life. Andso that was sort of one of the
(08:22):
big steps was calling him andbeing like, Hey, I kind of
killed off our relationship,that's my bad, and just owning
up to my side of it, and givinghim the space to either be like,
Yeah, that's cool, or to own upto his side of it. And he did on
up to his side. But I didn'tmeet him too. And so that was
sort of one of the first stepsreally. And that was, I guess, a
(08:43):
couple years ago now. And sowhen we did this book club, I
was like, Okay, perfect. I don'tknow what the fuck I'm doing. I
need a structure. I need a groupof people. I need like,
especially people to talkthrough stuff with. And so one
of the things I reallydiscovered through this book
club was how valuable meditationis for me, and guided
meditation. Because one of thethings that I'm finding out now
(09:06):
in sort of like, my, my witchycommunity, too, is that everyone
has their own strengths. And Irealized one of my strengths
really is meditation. And so itwas these guided meditations in
that book that were like, okay,sit down for 10 minutes, and
just call an ancestor to you.
And I was like,quick, can you can you explain
what you mean, when you saymeditation is a strength for
(09:26):
you?
Yeah, I am a really visualperson and I have a really
strangely spatial memory. And soeven just it like my Coven had a
guided meditation a couple daysago. Now, um, last week
sometime, and, you know, she waslike, Okay, imagine that there's
(09:49):
a ball of light in front of you.
And that was like the onesentence right that we started
off with, imagine there's a ballof light in front of you about
two feet away. And I from sayingthat, it's like okay, if I tell
you imagine, close your Iimagine there's a ball of light,
two feet in front of you, whatdo you see? It's like I'm on a
beach. The coast is to my left,there's palm trees in front of
me. Like, I can feel the warmth.
(10:12):
I can hear the birds. Like,there. It's vivid as fuck. And I
was like, I didn't realize thiswas a strength until we went one
by one. And said what we saw?
Yeah. And I was like, you knowthat? Yeah. And I was like,
why? Weird, and they're like,Bitch, everything about
witchcraft is weird. Yeah. Like,it's weird. It's good. Like,
(10:35):
like, if that's if that's out ofthe ordinary, that's amazing.
And so, in the book, there was aguided meditation. Well,
somewhat guided, you know, youread it. And it was like, close
your eyes for like, 10 or sominutes and try to connect to an
ancestor. And all like, no onecomment to me like, What?
Nothing, nothing like this hasever happened before. Like, I
(10:56):
don't know, man. But I was like,let's try it. So I, you know,
read the thing. Close my eyes,set a timer for 10 minutes, you
know, and I had an ancestor cometo me. And it was like the
grassy lowlands of thePhilippines. Like, like I said,
there was a height to the west,there was a like, river running
through it. I could, I could, Icould paint if I could paint. I
(11:17):
could paint it for you. But Ican't paint so. There's that.
But, uh, but yeah, I mean, itwas an entire fucking scene.
And, and there were justmessages from her that like, I
didn't create them. And theyjust landed in my head. And, and
first, she showed herself to meas like a Filipino like,
tattooed warrior. And then sheshowed herself to me as just
(11:40):
like, an old woman who was like,straight chill, and like, she
was just harvesting shit andjust chillin. And she was like,
she was like, Look, don't whatwas the word? Like, don't
glamorize my life. You know,like, this isn't the goal. Like,
(12:01):
the goal is like abundancebasically, like, don't, what's
the word I'm looking for? It'sgonna fucking bug me now. But
yeah, like don't like glorify,glorify, yeah, like, don't
glorify my life, like, like, Iworked. And your other ancestors
worked, so that you didn't haveto work so hard. You know, like,
(12:21):
love that it was hard back backthen. Like, you know, like, we
want you to live the easyfucking life that you have right
now. Like, we all did that, sothat you could, you know, and
so, um, I like kept wanting tospend more time with her and my
stomach growled, and she wasjust like, child, go eat. Do it.
And she just laughed. And, andmy sister had actually sent me a
(12:45):
tarot deck that someone had haddesigned like a Filipino person
had designed and it was all inTagalog. I don't speak Tagalog.
And so I was just when she sentit, I was like, Oh, my God, this
is so beautiful. I was justgoing through the cards, looking
at all the imagery, like tryingto connect with the pictures.
And I got to one and I just heara voice in my ear, say, take
that one. That's me. And then Ihear another voice at the next
(13:08):
card that says take that onetoo. And the card was I'm gonna
I'm gonna butcher this If anyonespeaks Tagalog, I'm sorry. Come
for me on Twitter, or whatever.
But it was Nakata. TondaRakatan. Which is, I think it
was ancestor. She had me takeancestor, and she had me take
elder and I read thedescriptions. And I was like,
(13:28):
Dude, what the fuck? Like, Idon't I don't speak to Golic. So
I had no idea that like, that'swhat those cards were. And like,
ever since then, like that deckis hers. And, like, one of the
things I've been thinking abouta lot is like, you know, you can
read all the books that youwant. You can like learn as much
as you want about witchcraft,about personal development,
(13:50):
about project management aboutwhatever fucking topic right
about how to be an anti racist.
But it's easier said than done.
Right? And it's easier said thandone. It's easy to read it,
right? But it takes the fuckingwork. It takes setting the timer
for 10 minutes, I'd be like, Idon't think I'm gonna fuckin see
(14:10):
anything. And to try it and seewhat works for you.
That's such a good point. And Ireally I really like how you how
you frame that? Because I thinkthat it's almost like, I think
almost like hearing you talkabout this. It's it's almost
(14:34):
it's easy for me, I think, totap into my white ancestry
because they're very tangible. Iknow them. I think you've seen
the wall I have of all thepictures of all my white
ancestors. And I know a lot oftheir stories. And there's a lot
of complicated stuff in there,right because it's baked into
(14:56):
some of the not so great Partsof American history. But there's
also examples of unbelievableresilience in some of these
stories, too. And so you know,but there's spaces, there's
names, I had relationships withsome of these people, you know,
because they were around, youknow, they didn't die until, you
(15:18):
know, after I was born orwhatever. But I think that when
it comes to like, my Tanzaniainside, it feels almost like,
I'm like, I literally don'tknow, what I'm doing is is
almost like embarrassing. I'mlike, I don't even know who like
I can't picture a face oranything. And you're right, it's
like, you just, you just did it.
And I think it's, I reallyappreciate how you how you put
that like meditation being astrength and visualization,
(15:41):
because that is not somethingthat I can relate to the way
that you described, like how youcan visualize things like that.
And I think I'm actuallythinking back a little bit to
bring up a white person, but I'mthinking back a little bit to
the interview I did withShannon, hey, when they said
that, you know, you kind of haveto learn how to express yourself
(16:03):
as an artist, like, Are you avisual? Express? Or are you do
you express yourself with words,you know, and I receiving? I'm
thinking is the same way, youknow, because they were talking
about how you communicate out.
But I think how you communicatein is also you might be a visual
receiver messages, which justsounds like you are, and that
(16:23):
might not be the case foreverybody.
Exactly. And it's like everyonehas their own strengths. And,
and you I mean, this, thiscurrent book that I'm working
through is called standing andnot falling by Lee Morgan. And
each chapter, it's like you, youfocus for an entire month on
something. And so one of the oneof the months was a witches
(16:46):
body. It's like, what are the,you know, ancient signals that
our bodies give us? That we'vetuned out? You know, there's so
many like, myths and tales aboutlike, Oh, if you're, you know,
right, ears ringing, someone'stalking good about you. If your
left ear is ringing, someone'stalking shit about you, right?
If Your Tongue itches that Miss,if your hand itches, then like
(17:08):
money, like all of this shit,and it's like, maybe it means
something, right? Like, who am Ito question? Literal decades,
millennia worth of humanintelligence? Right, like human
messages if people used to knowhow to listen to their bodies
before, like, maybe it justtakes me believing that for my
(17:30):
body then to start sending methese messages. You know, maybe
it's bullshit, right? Maybe it'sall bullshit. But if I start to
believe that if my writing ahand itches, it means money,
maybe there's something elsethat will change in my life that
makes that come true. And Ithink like, one of the things I
really wanted to talk about wasbelief, because I feel like
there's probably already peoplelistening to this that are like,
(17:52):
that's fucking bullshit, right?
And it's like, Look, I'm nothere to protect you. I don't
need to convince anyone. Butlike, that's my thing is that
like, once I started? Like, Ihate this phrase, like my witchy
journey. But like, basically,that once I started, like,
looking into it, and being moreopen minded and not being such
a, like, angry atheist, I waslike, what? Like, what does it
(18:17):
cost me to not believe peoplewhen they tell me their stories?
You know, if someone tells methat they saw a UFO, when they
were like, 12? What do I gainfrom being like, well, what if
it was this? And what if it wasthat, like, I gained nothing
from questioning them? But Imight have
ego growing? Yeah, exactly.
Believe your own voice in yourhead over literally anything
(18:40):
else and are open to otherthings.
Yeah. And I might lose theirtrust, I might lose more
interesting stories that theycould tell me in the future. You
know, I might lose, like, lifebeing a little more interesting.
And so I don't know when peopletell me so tell me their ghost
stories. I fucking believe it.
There's no reason for me not to,you know, and it's funny that I
(19:03):
say that because it's like, halfthe time. I don't believe my own
shit. You know, like, I'm like,if it's not there with me, like,
is he? I don't know, man. Like,maybe she is. Maybe she's a
figment of my imagination. Butshe's also someone who like
really helps me psychologicallythrough things. And if that's
just a version of myself,somewhere hidden deep down that
(19:25):
I got access to, like, that'scool. It's fucked, too. You
know, whether it really truly isan actual ancestor that I could
like, find and pin down and geta picture of like, is almost
irrelevant.
Yeah, and to some degree, it'slike, well, how deep down these
rabbit holes do you want to go?
Right? Because when you'resaying, you know, is this
actually my ancestor? Or am Ijust tapping into a part of
(19:48):
myself? Well, what are youtalking about when you say self
because if you really want toget down into it, I mean, we can
we can talk about even on abiological level. You know, your
ancestor is literally a part ofyour physical body, because what
is our DNA, our DNA is passeddown from our parents most
(20:09):
recently, but all of ourancestors, like all of that, if
someone in our family in our, inour ancestry, I should say, went
through some sort of trauma thatliterally changes their DNA. And
that gets passed down to their,to their offspring. I mean, so
it's almost like it's all one ofthe same, right? Like, if, if,
(20:33):
is this just a part of me? Or isthis my ancestor? It's like,
well, where does one and and theother weekend, you know? Yeah, I
mean, yeah, and that'll weirdwith.
That's one of the things I'vebeen thinking about a lot, too,
because it's like, you know,there's the white grandma, and
there's the Filipino grandma.
And I, I hosted what's called adumb Supper, where I literally
(20:57):
invited dead ancestors over fordinner one night. And, and this
is where the meditation reallycame in, like, sat down at the
table. And I was like, What thefuck do I do? Like, I sent out
the invitation. I like burnedthese pedals. I like invited
everyone. And I like set thetable. I had all the chairs, and
I sat down and I was like, Whatdo I do? I was like, Okay, well,
(21:20):
I'll just close. I'll just dowhat I know. And I'll close my
eyes. And I'll pretendeveryone's here. And I
introduced everyone to eachother. And part of me was like,
have my grandmother's ever evenmet it? Like, I don't they both
lived in Chicago. Like, theymight have. I don't know. And
another part of me was like,that almost doesn't matter.
(21:41):
Because they have met in mybody. Yeah, in my DNA they've
met.
Dan, Damn, dude, I love that.
You're totally right. Yeah. Cuzyou know what, man? I'm trying
not to like give things thislike preface, but I feel like I
have to this time. Okay, so thismight sound crazy. But I have
(22:03):
thought about, again, going backto that complication of being
biracial. And you know, forexample, my my grandfather, I
think this might have actuallyalready come up in a different
episode. But my grandfather fora while, disowned my mom for
marrying a black man. And myunderstanding is that he came
(22:24):
around and by the time he died,he was, you know, a loving
grandfather, all that stuff. Buthe definitely had these issues
that he had to work through. AndI have really felt and you know,
for me, it's not very visual atall. It's almost more like
almost feeling like I'moverhearing a conversation of
someone in the room. But I'vereally felt that like, somehow
(22:46):
through me, and through myexistence, some of these white
ancestors have learned thingsthat they just did not have
access to learn by nature ofbeing white and of the era that
they're from, you know, becauseit's like, was my grandfather
racist? Or was he a white manborn in 1922? You know what I
(23:11):
mean? Like, Yeah, cuz racism istaught, like, you know, it's
like, did he literally even havean opportunity to know better?
And it seems like when he did,he did do better, like once? He
Yeah, he disowned my mom formarrying a black man. But once
it was, like, Hey, dummy, like,this is going to be your
grandchild. Like, it kind of allmelted away, you know what I
(23:32):
mean? Because he wanted to meethis grandchild. It wasn't me, it
was my brother. I wasn't I that,that broke, you know, that
changed all of this, you know,whatever, shout out to my older
brother, but, you know, butstill, seriously, I was like, I
really feel like, you know,through being able to follow my
life path and to see that intoexperience that in me around me,
(23:54):
however, you want to look atthat, whether they're watching
me from heaven, or literally inyou know, my heart and my soul.
It's allowing them to to learnthose those lessons. And I and I
really, and and that's again,where you're just like, is this
just in my head? Because I'mlike, is this truth? Or is this
just what I need to hear? Like,what would make me feel better
(24:17):
as a black man in America withwhite ancestors who benefited
from white supremacy in a veryobvious way?
Yeah, yeah. That yeah, that thatmade me think about my, my white
grandfather as well, because, Imean, he he like marched with
(24:37):
Neo Nazis in Chicago to keeplike black people out of his
neighborhood. And that's like,fucking disgusting to me. And so
the thought that my, like antiracist journey could also
represent like, atonement forhim. Not atonement because he
doesn't deserve atonement, butlike learning like he just
(24:59):
needed a fuck Learn, you knowthat that can represent his
learning too. And his growth?
Like, that's really cool to me.
Yeah, like that. I mean, he wasborn Apple though, but if he can
be less of an asshole in my bodythen in my blood, that's so be
it.
Yeah, cuz again, it's it's it's,you know breaking the cycle and
(25:22):
we don't know, again, you knowkind of going back to what
people what people get passeddown I mean that is that is
something that I mean, I am noteven an authority to be speaking
on this right but you know, it'slike but I also understand that
that from a scientific levelthat research is very new, you
know, this is a very new thingthat we're learning about how
(25:43):
trauma can get passed down howthese experiences can get passed
down. So you're right, it's likewe don't, we don't know. Like,
what could it because at the endof the day, like you had a
choice, we all as biracialpeople kind of have a choice.
And it's like reallyfrustrating, at least for me to
(26:05):
always feel like I have toalmost like, pick a side, right?
You know, it's like, am I black?
Or am I white? And it's like,well, to really just fully
identify with one without theother is an incomplete picture.
And I'm, you know, it's not thisbinary thing for me. But that
all, you know, all that beingsaid, there is a little bit of a
(26:27):
degree of choice. And I reallycould have said, you know, oh,
well, to hell with the whitedevil, like, you know, black
power all the way and almostlike, try to deny that that's a
part of my history. And on theflip side, I could say, like,
well, racism is over, obviously,look at me, and just completely
(26:48):
ignore the fact that, you know,and you know, that, that I do
have privileges working in myfavor, and just being like,
well, if any black people aresuffering, they must be stupid
or lazy, you know, like I had,that I do have that choice, as
as uncomfortable is sometimestalked about, it's like, I do
have that choice, it's like, Icould completely abandon one
(27:10):
side, and act like, you know,this isn't a part of my history,
or I could really face both ofthose sides and really face the
complexity of what it means tohave both of these things within
me and really understanding likehow to move forward with it with
a self definition that honorsboth sides, kind of does
(27:35):
whatever atonement needs tohappen on either side, if
there's, if it needs to happenon one side more than the other,
you know, just that, that'sneither here nor there. But
really understanding thatbecause at the end of the day,
we could make the choice to notand to just have that those
unresolved issues, you know,pass on to future generations,
(27:57):
you know, and even if we don'thave kids, you know, it's still
passed on through like niecesand nephews and other people who
might have similar backgroundsas us who are from the younger
generation that we are in aposition to be able to influence
you know, yeah, absolutely.
I love that. So, how did it sowhat so what is this book club
(28:21):
Exactly? Like how this year longone like, what, what is it? What
are you doing? So? Yeah, it'sthrough a Patreon that my friend
had told me about. Her name isnaam Ka. And, and I don't know,
we could put it in the notes orwhatever.
So that's for sure.
Yeah. But um, yeah, so she hadshe had picked this book, and
(28:41):
it's, it's called standing andnot falling by Lee Morgan. And
it's over I think it's 13minutes 12 minutes. And so each
chapter you read the chapter andyou do the practice for a month
long. And so you know, like Isaid, the witches body that
chapter was about connectingwith your body and just over the
next month, you know, noticewhen your earrings notice when
(29:04):
your hand itches, notice youknow when when you get the
chills, right, and and what arethose seem to mean, what are
those culturally mean for you?
What are those culturally meanand other cultures? And it
actually actually ended up beinglike, a really cool coincidence
because I also listened to thispodcast called The Stoop fuckin
amazing. And that mind thatepisode was about signals in the
(29:27):
body. And I was like, Oh, shit,I need to get my notebook out.
Like writing down all the thingstoo that they were saying like,
Oh, the right hand itches. Thatmeans I think it was like
money's going out. The left handitches. It means money's coming
in. It might have been theopposite direction but it's like
whichever one is the Yin is likehis stuff coming in. And the
young his his stuff coming out.
(29:53):
I don't know about that shit.
But but it was just like, youknow, knowing what things mean
in my body and it made so muchsense But that one happened
before the chapter on donesupper, which is, you know,
where I hosted invited the deadpeople to my family, because
there were moments where like,my body would just do things.
And I was like, This is amessage. So I was just sitting
there eyes closed, it's likemidnight, and I'm going around
(30:15):
the table inviting or, you know,introducing people one by one
welcoming them. And one of whatthe chapter had also said, like,
invite anyone who you think isculturally significant, like it
doesn't have to be justrelatives. It could be people
who have passed away who youthink were important for your
family? So I invited lapu lapu,who was the Filipino warrior who
(30:38):
murdered Ferdinand Magellan? Iwas like, Fuck, yeah, anti
colonialist. Let's bring thismotherfucker in. But I was also
like, okay, the dinner party, hedoesn't know who the fuck I am.
He doesn't know who the fuck myfamily is. So I gave him a plus
one. I was like, that's, youknow, dinner party. So I like
had a polite thing to do.
(30:59):
Exactly. He was like, he doesn'tknow anyway, you know. So I read
out the invitations, actually onlike, rose petals, and then I
burnt them. Nice. And I justlike made all this shit up. I
was like, I don't know whatyou're normally supposed to do.
But who gives a fuck? Let'slet's let's figure it out. And
and when he showed up, you know,I'm just sitting here meditating
(31:19):
this whole thing. I'm justvisualizing it. I don't know if
it's true. Or if it's not, itdoesn't matter. That's not the
point. You brought, EstebanSoliz? Who based off of my last
name you might be able to guessis the conquistador in my family
line from Spain. Wow. And I waslike, you fucking trickster. And
(31:40):
he was like, I don't know whatto tell you afterwards tell you
ship different in the afterlife.
And I was like, Okay, what?
Do you start to learn somelessons on the other side?
I guess so. So, so I'mintroducing people one by one, I
introduced my grandma who hadjust recently passed to
Nicaragua. Tonda. The ancestor Itold you, like, you know, I had
(32:00):
visited during a meditation. AndI got this, like, warm in my
body, like, like, it wasfamiliar. And I was like, Okay,
this was probably her mom or hergrandma. Like from that feeling?
Like, they were just, they werejust familiar. And then when I
introduced I was like, Look,alright, well, we'll see. I
introduced my grandma to Estebanpolice. And I got a massive
(32:22):
fucking shiver throughout mywhole body. And I was like, bro,
you gotta go. I literally walkedto the door and opened it. And
that was like, you're leaving?
Wow. Yeah. I was just like, Getthis man away from me. Like,
yeah, it's withus. Yeah, exactly. I think it
was like, You're not ready toface this yet. Wow. You know,
like, you're not ready for theseconversations you've got he's
(32:43):
got to go. Yeah, it's not timefor that yet. Yeah. And so it's
like, whether that was my bodytelling me that my brain telling
you that my grandma telling youthat who fucking knows. But it
was like, it was a messageenough for me to be like, I
gotta go. And another one is Iwas like, I need to stop
glorifying people, you know?
(33:03):
Yeah. I feel that big time.
Yeah.
And so every chapter, it's like,you focus on a new thing. And
through that, too, I feel like,it's, it's been a really good
access for me to figure out whatmy strengths are. You know, it's
like, she provided like, guidedmeditations for some of the
chapters too. And so I was like,Oh, these are strong as fuck.
(33:26):
Hmm. And so it's yeah, like,like, you're able to just
explore each different topic andsee, like, what really speaks to
you? And what really makes adifference?
Yeah, which is so cool. So we'rethere have there been things in
in certain months where you'rejust like, Man, I didn't really
get that much out of that.
Probably won't be something I'mmoving. I'm using moving
(33:48):
forward.
This last chapter was sex magic.
I was like, Oh, let's see what'sgoing on in the SEC project. And
the entire chapter was like,imagine, imagine just humor me.
Imagine if the gender binarydidn't exist. And I was like,
(34:09):
brownlike how they're like, weird.
Like, you know, really questionlike, the gods who we say are
like, one gender or the or theother could be neither. They
could be beyond gender. Theycould be the opposite gender,
(34:31):
whatever. And I was like, cool,bro. Yeah, I questioned gender
every fucking day. And so yeah,I feel like, um, because it was
it was kind of a very intimatetopic. Of course, as you know,
sex. There weren't as many likeguided things. And like, tips
(34:55):
for you to do. I know that thereare things where people like
will masturbate and they'll tryto manifest something as their
masturbating or like, as youorgasm you envision, you know
something, or you charge asigil? Or whatever it is. But
yeah, I've never really donethat. Um, I mean, you could just
(35:17):
be like going at it and be like,oh maybe it's easier said than
done. Maybe I just need to tryit. Think about it. I added to
my to do list.
That's very interesting. But thethis book didn't really go into
(35:39):
that, like you, you know aboutthat kind of stuff from like,
other aspects of the book did gointo, into that piece of sex.
He kind of mentioned a littlebit, like, harnessing the power
to do things. But But yeah,there weren't like a lot of
really specific like, you know,now on Tuesday, masturbate,
like, think about abundance. Andthen like on Thursday, talk to
(36:00):
your partner about like, XYZ andthen see if you want to do it,
it's like, um, but there wasstill conversation, at least to
be like, you know, what isconsent look like in this
situation? Like, if, like, Am Iallowed to use my orgasm for
whatever I want? If this was apartner interaction, you know,
like, should I tell my partnerthat I'm interested in doing
(36:21):
magic while we're having sex?
You know, like, because consentis really important. And so if
they if, what if I'm like havingsex with my partner like Hexing
someone they love, you know,like, I don't think that that's
something they would approve of.
Very good point. Wow. I've neverthought of I never I never
thought of that. But that's avery good point. I mean,
(36:43):
and it also makes me think oflike consent in the house, too,
right? If I'm, I told Aaron, Itold my husband about the dumb
supper, like, before I did. Iwas like, Hey, I'm gonna do this
thing. I'm gonna invite spiritsand like, he lives here, too.
You know, he was like, I'm gonnago away that night. I think
that's actually the day hevisited. But yeah,
(37:07):
he was very insistent onvisiting me, which seemed weird,
because peek behind the curtain.
We live a little distance apart.
And I usually come to you. And Iwas like, you want to drive in
LA traffic to see me?
Something's going on at home.
You're like, are you withStephanie? Okay.
(37:27):
I literally asked him that. Hetold us on our witchy chat.
I did love his tweet after youdid something. And he tweeted
something about like my wife.
Yeah, my wife had a dinner forall these spirits. And somehow I
got stuck doing the dishes.
(37:50):
Shout out to Aaron.
He's so great.
Yeah, yeah, that's, that'sreally cool, though. So it
sounds like you're in a groupthat is this, like, was this
specifically a group with otherFilipino people? Or is just
people from from varyingbackgrounds? No.
(38:11):
So this group is mostly polish,which is my mom's grandma. Um,
so it's, it's funny because I,I'm so strangely racially
ambiguous where like, if you putme in a group of Mexican people,
I am Mexican. If you put me in agroup of Filipino people, I'm
Filipino. You put me in a groupof like mainlander Asians, I am
a mainland or Asian. And Irealized on this chat, too, if
(38:31):
you put me in a whole group ofPolish women, I am Polish.
Interesting. I would wait, Ilook back to the app. But yeah,
so it's mostly Polish women. AndI've been trying to find like a
Filipino, witchcraft, Patreon.
And I haven't found anything.
Um, or at least like a group, Iknow that there is a center I
think, based out of LA don'tquote me on that, called the
(38:53):
Babylon center. And they'llactually partner, um, you know,
people from the Filipinodiaspora with people who have
lived in the Philippines, tolike, learn more about your
culture. And so I've beenmeaning to do that. But you
know, me and my fuckin ADHD,like, I just do too, too many
things, and I it just ends upnot getting prioritized. And
I'm, I feel like a dig for it.
(39:14):
Yeah, well, I think there'sdefinitely something to be said
too, about in taking all this innot doing too much too fast too
soon. Because I've definitelybeen guilty of that, you know,
in different areas of my life.
And I'm like, I've taken on somuch change at once that like,
once I see that it's, it'shaving an effect. I'm like, I
don't even know what what causedit. So I guess I have to do all
(39:35):
of it. Because I don't want todrop any of these plates that I
have spinning because yeah, Idon't know which one is actually
the one creating positivechange, you know?
Yeah, I totally I totally feelyou on that.
That's really cool, though. ButI think too, you know, just the
fact that the fact that this isa Polish group and not a
Filipino group, which that wasnot what I expected you to say.
(39:58):
But I love it. You know, thefact that this is not a Filipino
group. And yet, it's helping youkind of tap into your Filipino
ancestry, I think that that justgoes to show, again, that it's
like, you bring us back to whatyou said in the beginning, it's
like, you just have to trythings. And you have to kind of
get in tune with your own body.
Because at the end of the day,you know, whether it's a
(40:21):
external connection, or justsomething external or something
inside of us, or whatever, youknow, all we really kind of need
is that like, safe space toreally explore that. And
whatever is true for us asindividuals is his is going to
come out and I'm sure it will belike a much greater, deeper
experience to be able to explorethat with Filipino people. But I
(40:44):
think I think I'm saying asMartin myself that, you know, do
you and maybe, I guess to thelisteners, but it's like, you
know, you're trying to, if youfeel that pool to look into like
a spiritual practice, like notbeing able to find your people
because like, in my case, Imean, gosh, you're having a hard
time finding a Filipino group,like good fucking luck to me
finding a Tanzanian group like,oh, my god, yeah, there's hardly
(41:06):
any of us out here, you know. Soit's like, I that that's a good
excuse to not start. It's like,just just like your body.
There's some something in yousomething deep in your soul is
going to know what to do and beable to pick up and put down
things that do and don't worklike sex magic.
(41:30):
Yeah. And I think I think towhat what I'm like discounting
is I totally have like, twoFilipino women in my fucking
coven. And part of part of itis, like, just imposter
syndrome. Like, I'm so worriedthat I'm like, I'm such a
fucking noob. And I'm such anidiot, and I have such stupid
fucking question. Like, I don'teven know how it's like in the
(41:51):
Philippines, and they, like wereborn there, you know, and I'm
just like, they're gonna thinkI'm an idiot. And I know in my
head, they're not gonna thinkI'm an idiot. Like, they,
they're fucking great. They'reamazing. Like, fuckin shout out
to both of them if they listento this. Yeah, and I think it's
just like, like, we got to letgo of the imposter syndrome man.
But also, I think like, like,think about the plus side of
(42:13):
being biracial to like, like,the fact that I have so many
pantheons like, available to me,you know, like, I can learn as
much as I can about, like, theFilipino, like, pre colonial
gods. And I can learn aboutlike, fucking Irish Fae, like
shit, I can learn about all ofthis polish stuff from like, the
Patreon that I'm a part of,like, there are so many other
(42:37):
frameworks, that, that humansthat cultures have built, that I
have access to in my body. Andto learn about and to, to
leverage, really, it's justlike, these, these are all
systems that people built tofigure out life. Yeah, you know,
(42:59):
and it's like, Who the fuck am Ito question any of those? to
question the existence of any ofthese things? Like, like meat?
Like, how righteous do you haveto be to be like, No, but I have
the answer. I have the answer.
faqeer 40,000 years ofexistence. I have the fucking
meat. I'm so special. And it'slike, I used to think that yeah,
(43:21):
and it's like, Who Who fuckingknows? Like, there is so much
wonder in this world. And ifyou're not down to like, just
look at the beauty and thewonder of like, all of this
crazy shit that humans havemade. Like, I must be so boring.
I couldn't agree more. And gosh,what a what a great note to end
(43:46):
on. being biracial is a gift.
Hell yeah. By racialrepresentation. That's what this
episode is all about. AndStephanie, do you have anything
else that you would like to addthat you feel like you'd be
remiss? Oh, if we left it out,but believe people believe
people? Yeah. Yeah, like whenpeople tell you their fucking
(44:08):
ghost stories, when people tellyou their UFO stories, when
people tell you that they canfake an astral project. Believe
them, maybe not if they tell youthey're an indigo child. That's
just like white people. Theirexcuse to like label their
autistic children as indigochildren instead of just being
real. And they're just ablestassholes, but yeah, I mean,
(44:29):
other than that other than youknow white people who have
stolen culture and stolenwitchcraft and you know whatever
Yeah, believe people that'ssorry. Anyone who's not white
gonna get real mad at me butwhat you know, listen to some
(44:51):
like people beliefs on whitepeople, but you know, believe
people who are speaking theirtruth and just talk From your
ego, you know the soul the soulrecognizes what's real. I think
I just finished watching thecircle. So real recognize real.
Alright, well on that note, geezwhere we talk about witchcraft
(45:15):
being biracial, and the latestNetflix reality series, if you
want all this and more,Stephanie, where can people find
you out there on the worldwide?
My Instagram is blood magicbitch. Yeah, every time you say
it, you know,right or so the other one is
which? You know, I got to it'sfine.
(45:38):
We'll have the links to those inthe show notes. Stephanie, thank
you so much for coming on this,this has been a blast, as
always, and I cannot wait totalk to you again. Thank you for
having me.
All right, once again, that wasStephanie solace. Stephanie,
(46:00):
thank you for coming onto theshow. You're one of my favorite
people in the world, aparticipant participant in some
of my favorite group chats, wasreally great to put some of our
conversation on record. And if Ican just piggyback off of what
Stephanie said at the very endthere. Learn the magic of your
people. You know, patriarchal,Christian leaning, white
(46:25):
supremacy has us all forgettingthe magic that lives within our
blood that comes from ourancestors that comes from the
land in which we originate.
Which if you're white, is notNorth America. What were you
what were your people doingbefore, missions took over
before white supremacy took overbefore the patriarchy took over.
(46:48):
And really tap into that magic.
I really do believe that themore that we tap into our
personal power, our personaltruth in our personal magic, I
won't necessarily say that itmakes the world better. But it
makes handling the world a lotbetter. It makes our
(47:08):
relationship individually withthe world a lot better. And when
you multiply that by howevermany people choose to do that
work. It's got to have some sortof effect, right? Anyway, for
the next episode coming out intwo weeks, be on the lookout. I
don't have anything set in stoneyet. But I will be doing some
live stuff I believe with mynext guest in two weeks on
(47:31):
December 7. So be on the lookoutfor that. Make sure you're
following me on both Instagramand Tik Tok at Leo Yockey l
EOYOCKEY. The links to both arein the show notes. Have a great
couple of weeks. If you're inthe United States, learn whose
indigenous land you'reoccupying. If you can do that
(47:54):
one little thing for me onThanksgiving, I would really
appreciate that. I know I'm inSerrano territory, closely
shared with the with the withthe borders of Tonga, which I
might be saying incorrectly, Igot to learn how to say that,
and shoe Mosh. But in the samevein of us learning about the
true roots of our ancestry andour culture and our magic. You
(48:17):
know, let's let's do a betterjob of acknowledging the fact
that we are on stolen land, andthat the original culture of
this land is not ours. And it'snot the culture that we know
today. Anyway, on that note,I'll see you in a couple of
weeks with a very specialepisode. I will not be in LA
when I'm recording live. Andthat's part of the reason why
(48:38):
I'm able to do these lives. Soyeah, keeping it cryptic, stay
evolving.
Test test test seeing how loudthe dishwasher is compared to me
(00:06):
on the microphone test, testtest. Oh, and there was Raja.
Hey, Raja, what's going onbuddy?
(00:27):
Hello, and welcome to anotherepisode of the Leo Yockey Show,
the show where I Leo Yockey getinterrupted by my cat as he
walks across the desk and rightin front of the microphone, and
you probably heard him brushedinto it. It's also where I
interview guests about theuniversal truths in their unique
(00:47):
life paths. Roger, get your buttout of my face. How are we doing
today? It is Man, I wish I wasvideo recording right now Raj,
get your butt out of my face.
Anyway, this is probably notinteresting to you, because
podcasting is an audio medium.
Oh, he's hitting his tail on themicrophone. Now I might have to
re record this. This is adisaster. Anyway, this is
(01:08):
perfect, though, because myguest today is also a cat
parent. Not that we talk aboutthat at all. But you know, in
the spirit of Russia, stop it.
In the spirit of cat parenthood,and all that it is I might try
to keep this in if if the audioquality isn't too bad. Anyway,
last episode with Criss AngelMurphy, we talked a little bit
(01:29):
about, you know, connecting withsome of our ancestors and what
that process looks like for us.
And I'm really excited that thisepisode is coming out
immediately after that, becausewe do a much deeper dive into
all that today, with my verygood personal friend, Stephanie
solace. She is amazing. She'sbiracial, like me, she's half
(01:52):
Filipino. And she has spent alot of time as of late really
trying to connect with thoseFilipino ancestors. And I really
admired watching that progress,because she shared a lot of it,
both privately and on socialmedia, I got a link to her
social media in the show notes.
I really enjoyed thisconversation. And I think you
will, too. We're gonna betalking a lot about the
(02:14):
importance of just tryingthings, and seeing where things
go. And just figuring kind ofkind of just figuring things out
as you go. Whether it'smeditation, you know, getting in
touch with your spirituality, oryour ancestors, or really any
other aspect of your life. Thatis such an important lesson. And
(02:34):
I'm so glad that Stephaniereally drills at home in this
episode. The other day, I had, Ihad like those featured photos
come up on my phone of likememories and stuff like that.
And I found a bunch of picturesand videos that I took at my
local park back in March. And Iwas recording videos trying to
promote this podcast andannounced that I was starting
(02:55):
it. And oh my god, y'all I hadno idea what I was trying to do.
I had no idea what I was saying.
It was a disaster. I clearlydidn't have a strong vision yet
for the podcast. I wasn'tcomfortable. You know, being on
camera and talking in the parkin public where strangers might
see me and it was a mess. Butwithout getting out there and
(03:19):
starting that step. There's noway that the podcast and my Tik
Tok and all of that stuff wouldbe where it is today. Speaking
of Tik Tok, Stephanie and I areboth on Tik Tok. You should find
us there. Yeah, like I said,Stephanie is great. I really
enjoyed the conversation that wehad on the record. It's, you
know, reminiscent of the typesof conversations that we have in
(03:40):
real life. So just continuing onwith the theme of letting on be
a fly on the wall. And yeah,without further ado, here is
Stephanie solace.
All right, we are finallyrecording. How's it going?
(04:01):
Stephanie?
Awesome. How are you?
I'm good. I am so much betternow that we've had, honestly,
more than a podcast interviews,length of a conversation before
the interview, all stuff thatwill never be on the record for
the podcast. So thank you somuch. This is this is why I
bring my real friends on to thepodcast and not just random
(04:23):
people from my network.
That's awesome. That's good tohear.
Yeah, peek behind the curtainfor the listeners. If it wasn't
clear, we've been talking forlike 15 minutes already. So
Stephanie is one of the realones. One of my friends from IRL
as the kids say, do they saythat? Um, I think so. If you're
(04:46):
a youth and you're listening tothis, let me know if you say
IRL, in a sentence, or if I justmade myself sound old. Anyway,
we actually did a practiceinterview you and I, before I
started the show way back inlike April or something like
that, we had a great interview,I realized after the fact
(05:09):
actually don't think I told youthis, that the audio was all
spliced together. So instead ofhaving separate audio files for
each of us, it was all together.
And if it wasn't for that, Imight have actually released it
because we had this greatconversation about you going
back to school to learn machinelearning, AI, artificial
(05:29):
intelligence, yeah, artificialintelligence. And you know, kind
of your journey of like being awoman in tech and what all
that's been like, and it's, itwas really cool. And now, in
season two, and however, manymonths later, I didn't bring you
on to talk about any ofthis, make a Patreon, how people
(05:49):
pay extra, and they can hearmore of my wonderful fucking
boys.
I love it. I love that you justfully invited yourself out.
You're like, not only are yougonna make paid content, but I
will be part of that content.
No, I mean, to release the oldwine. Yeah, yeah, I feel like,
yeah, that's that's that pastthat abundance mindset. As they
(06:10):
say, in the anyway, I think I'mgoing to put something in as a
preface in the intro, explaininghow we ended up in that in that
book club thing together so thatpeople kind of understand. So
after we did that, that bookclub, and we kind of learned
(06:31):
about Cymatics. And what thatmeans to explore our
relationship with our body andtrauma, specifically, from the
perspective of being a person ofcolor. I don't know if you were
already on this path,beforehand. But definitely
afterwards, it seems like youreally did a deep dive into
exploring your Filipino side,and you you know, are also a
(06:55):
biracial, half white person likeme. And I also in that book club
felt really inspired by the ideaof kind of exploring my
Tanzanian side and connectingwith those ancestors. And I just
kind of just with all the otherthings going on, I never really
(07:17):
did it. And you did. So I lovethat. And I want to just kind of
talk more about like, what thatexperience has been like for
you. So I guess before anythingelse, like was that something
that you were already exploringbefore we did that book club
back in like January or Februaryof this year?
Yeah. So I had been actuallydoing another book club in
(07:39):
tandem. And that one is over 12months. So I'm actually still in
that book club right now. And Ihad always been sort of
interested in reconnecting to myFilipino roots. Um, I feel like
I'd been doing a lot of work upuntil then I like, you know, I'd
always be like, Oh, I'm feel I'mhalf Filipino. And I really want
(07:59):
to connect to like those rootsand, and, and learn what it was
like, like pre colonization, youknow, what are the practices?
What's in my blood? And I'm,like, never talked to my dad.
The Filipino one. So it's like,how am I How am I like
glorifying Filipino identity,when I'm not even talking to the
Filipino people in my life. Andso that was sort of one of the
(08:22):
big steps was calling him andbeing like, Hey, I kind of
killed off our relationship,that's my bad, and just owning
up to my side of it, and givinghim the space to either be like,
Yeah, that's cool, or to own upto his side of it. And he did on
up to his side. But I didn'tmeet him too. And so that was
sort of one of the first stepsreally. And that was, I guess, a
(08:43):
couple years ago now. And sowhen we did this book club, I
was like, Okay, perfect. I don'tknow what the fuck I'm doing. I
need a structure. I need a groupof people. I need like,
especially people to talkthrough stuff with. And so one
of the things I reallydiscovered through this book
club was how valuable meditationis for me, and guided
meditation. Because one of thethings that I'm finding out now
(09:06):
in sort of like, my, my witchycommunity, too, is that everyone
has their own strengths. And Irealized one of my strengths
really is meditation. And so itwas these guided meditations in
that book that were like, okay,sit down for 10 minutes, and
just call an ancestor to you.
And I was like,quick, can you can you explain
what you mean, when you saymeditation is a strength for
(09:26):
you?
Yeah, I am a really visualperson and I have a really
strangely spatial memory. And soeven just it like my Coven had a
guided meditation a couple daysago. Now, um, last week
sometime, and, you know, she waslike, Okay, imagine that there's
(09:49):
a ball of light in front of you.
And that was like the onesentence right that we started
off with, imagine there's a ballof light in front of you about
two feet away. And I from sayingthat, it's like okay, if I tell
you imagine, close your Iimagine there's a ball of light,
two feet in front of you, whatdo you see? It's like I'm on a
beach. The coast is to my left,there's palm trees in front of
me. Like, I can feel the warmth.
(10:12):
I can hear the birds. Like,there. It's vivid as fuck. And I
was like, I didn't realize thiswas a strength until we went one
by one. And said what we saw?
Yeah. And I was like, you knowthat? Yeah. And I was like,
why? Weird, and they're like,Bitch, everything about
witchcraft is weird. Yeah. Like,it's weird. It's good. Like,
(10:35):
like, if that's if that's out ofthe ordinary, that's amazing.
And so, in the book, there was aguided meditation. Well,
somewhat guided, you know, youread it. And it was like, close
your eyes for like, 10 or sominutes and try to connect to an
ancestor. And all like, no onecomment to me like, What?
Nothing, nothing like this hasever happened before. Like, I
(10:56):
don't know, man. But I was like,let's try it. So I, you know,
read the thing. Close my eyes,set a timer for 10 minutes, you
know, and I had an ancestor cometo me. And it was like the
grassy lowlands of thePhilippines. Like, like I said,
there was a height to the west,there was a like, river running
through it. I could, I could, Icould paint if I could paint. I
(11:17):
could paint it for you. But Ican't paint so. There's that.
But, uh, but yeah, I mean, itwas an entire fucking scene.
And, and there were justmessages from her that like, I
didn't create them. And theyjust landed in my head. And, and
first, she showed herself to meas like a Filipino like,
tattooed warrior. And then sheshowed herself to me as just
(11:40):
like, an old woman who was like,straight chill, and like, she
was just harvesting shit andjust chillin. And she was like,
she was like, Look, don't whatwas the word? Like, don't
glamorize my life. You know,like, this isn't the goal. Like,
(12:01):
the goal is like abundancebasically, like, don't, what's
the word I'm looking for? It'sgonna fucking bug me now. But
yeah, like don't like glorify,glorify, yeah, like, don't
glorify my life, like, like, Iworked. And your other ancestors
worked, so that you didn't haveto work so hard. You know, like,
(12:21):
love that it was hard back backthen. Like, you know, like, we
want you to live the easyfucking life that you have right
now. Like, we all did that, sothat you could, you know, and
so, um, I like kept wanting tospend more time with her and my
stomach growled, and she wasjust like, child, go eat. Do it.
And she just laughed. And, andmy sister had actually sent me a
(12:45):
tarot deck that someone had haddesigned like a Filipino person
had designed and it was all inTagalog. I don't speak Tagalog.
And so I was just when she sentit, I was like, Oh, my God, this
is so beautiful. I was justgoing through the cards, looking
at all the imagery, like tryingto connect with the pictures.
And I got to one and I just heara voice in my ear, say, take
that one. That's me. And then Ihear another voice at the next
(13:08):
card that says take that onetoo. And the card was I'm gonna
I'm gonna butcher this If anyonespeaks Tagalog, I'm sorry. Come
for me on Twitter, or whatever.
But it was Nakata. TondaRakatan. Which is, I think it
was ancestor. She had me takeancestor, and she had me take
elder and I read thedescriptions. And I was like,
(13:28):
Dude, what the fuck? Like, Idon't I don't speak to Golic. So
I had no idea that like, that'swhat those cards were. And like,
ever since then, like that deckis hers. And, like, one of the
things I've been thinking abouta lot is like, you know, you can
read all the books that youwant. You can like learn as much
as you want about witchcraft,about personal development,
(13:50):
about project management aboutwhatever fucking topic right
about how to be an anti racist.
But it's easier said than done.
Right? And it's easier said thandone. It's easy to read it,
right? But it takes the fuckingwork. It takes setting the timer
for 10 minutes, I'd be like, Idon't think I'm gonna fuckin see
(14:10):
anything. And to try it and seewhat works for you.
That's such a good point. And Ireally I really like how you how
you frame that? Because I thinkthat it's almost like, I think
almost like hearing you talkabout this. It's it's almost
(14:34):
it's easy for me, I think, totap into my white ancestry
because they're very tangible. Iknow them. I think you've seen
the wall I have of all thepictures of all my white
ancestors. And I know a lot oftheir stories. And there's a lot
of complicated stuff in there,right because it's baked into
(14:56):
some of the not so great Partsof American history. But there's
also examples of unbelievableresilience in some of these
stories, too. And so you know,but there's spaces, there's
names, I had relationships withsome of these people, you know,
because they were around, youknow, they didn't die until, you
(15:18):
know, after I was born orwhatever. But I think that when
it comes to like, my Tanzaniainside, it feels almost like,
I'm like, I literally don'tknow, what I'm doing is is
almost like embarrassing. I'mlike, I don't even know who like
I can't picture a face oranything. And you're right, it's
like, you just, you just did it.
And I think it's, I reallyappreciate how you how you put
that like meditation being astrength and visualization,
(15:41):
because that is not somethingthat I can relate to the way
that you described, like how youcan visualize things like that.
And I think I'm actuallythinking back a little bit to
bring up a white person, but I'mthinking back a little bit to
the interview I did withShannon, hey, when they said
that, you know, you kind of haveto learn how to express yourself
(16:03):
as an artist, like, Are you avisual? Express? Or are you do
you express yourself with words,you know, and I receiving? I'm
thinking is the same way, youknow, because they were talking
about how you communicate out.
But I think how you communicatein is also you might be a visual
receiver messages, which justsounds like you are, and that
(16:23):
might not be the case foreverybody.
Exactly. And it's like everyonehas their own strengths. And,
and you I mean, this, thiscurrent book that I'm working
through is called standing andnot falling by Lee Morgan. And
each chapter, it's like you, youfocus for an entire month on
something. And so one of the oneof the months was a witches
(16:46):
body. It's like, what are the,you know, ancient signals that
our bodies give us? That we'vetuned out? You know, there's so
many like, myths and tales aboutlike, Oh, if you're, you know,
right, ears ringing, someone'stalking good about you. If your
left ear is ringing, someone'stalking shit about you, right?
If Your Tongue itches that Miss,if your hand itches, then like
(17:08):
money, like all of this shit,and it's like, maybe it means
something, right? Like, who am Ito question? Literal decades,
millennia worth of humanintelligence? Right, like human
messages if people used to knowhow to listen to their bodies
before, like, maybe it justtakes me believing that for my
(17:30):
body then to start sending methese messages. You know, maybe
it's bullshit, right? Maybe it'sall bullshit. But if I start to
believe that if my writing ahand itches, it means money,
maybe there's something elsethat will change in my life that
makes that come true. And Ithink like, one of the things I
really wanted to talk about wasbelief, because I feel like
there's probably already peoplelistening to this that are like,
(17:52):
that's fucking bullshit, right?
And it's like, Look, I'm nothere to protect you. I don't
need to convince anyone. Butlike, that's my thing is that
like, once I started? Like, Ihate this phrase, like my witchy
journey. But like, basically,that once I started, like,
looking into it, and being moreopen minded and not being such
a, like, angry atheist, I waslike, what? Like, what does it
(18:17):
cost me to not believe peoplewhen they tell me their stories?
You know, if someone tells methat they saw a UFO, when they
were like, 12? What do I gainfrom being like, well, what if
it was this? And what if it wasthat, like, I gained nothing
from questioning them? But Imight have
ego growing? Yeah, exactly.
Believe your own voice in yourhead over literally anything
(18:40):
else and are open to otherthings.
Yeah. And I might lose theirtrust, I might lose more
interesting stories that theycould tell me in the future. You
know, I might lose, like, lifebeing a little more interesting.
And so I don't know when peopletell me so tell me their ghost
stories. I fucking believe it.
There's no reason for me not to,you know, and it's funny that I
(19:03):
say that because it's like, halfthe time. I don't believe my own
shit. You know, like, I'm like,if it's not there with me, like,
is he? I don't know, man. Like,maybe she is. Maybe she's a
figment of my imagination. Butshe's also someone who like
really helps me psychologicallythrough things. And if that's
just a version of myself,somewhere hidden deep down that
(19:25):
I got access to, like, that'scool. It's fucked, too. You
know, whether it really truly isan actual ancestor that I could
like, find and pin down and geta picture of like, is almost
irrelevant.
Yeah, and to some degree, it'slike, well, how deep down these
rabbit holes do you want to go?
Right? Because when you'resaying, you know, is this
actually my ancestor? Or am Ijust tapping into a part of
(19:48):
myself? Well, what are youtalking about when you say self
because if you really want toget down into it, I mean, we can
we can talk about even on abiological level. You know, your
ancestor is literally a part ofyour physical body, because what
is our DNA, our DNA is passeddown from our parents most
(20:09):
recently, but all of ourancestors, like all of that, if
someone in our family in our, inour ancestry, I should say, went
through some sort of trauma thatliterally changes their DNA. And
that gets passed down to their,to their offspring. I mean, so
it's almost like it's all one ofthe same, right? Like, if, if,
(20:33):
is this just a part of me? Or isthis my ancestor? It's like,
well, where does one and and theother weekend, you know? Yeah, I
mean, yeah, and that'll weirdwith.
That's one of the things I'vebeen thinking about a lot, too,
because it's like, you know,there's the white grandma, and
there's the Filipino grandma.
And I, I hosted what's called adumb Supper, where I literally
(20:57):
invited dead ancestors over fordinner one night. And, and this
is where the meditation reallycame in, like, sat down at the
table. And I was like, What thefuck do I do? Like, I sent out
the invitation. I like burnedthese pedals. I like invited
everyone. And I like set thetable. I had all the chairs, and
I sat down and I was like, Whatdo I do? I was like, Okay, well,
(21:20):
I'll just close. I'll just dowhat I know. And I'll close my
eyes. And I'll pretendeveryone's here. And I
introduced everyone to eachother. And part of me was like,
have my grandmother's ever evenmet it? Like, I don't they both
lived in Chicago. Like, theymight have. I don't know. And
another part of me was like,that almost doesn't matter.
(21:41):
Because they have met in mybody. Yeah, in my DNA they've
met.
Dan, Damn, dude, I love that.
You're totally right. Yeah. Cuzyou know what, man? I'm trying
not to like give things thislike preface, but I feel like I
have to this time. Okay, so thismight sound crazy. But I have
(22:03):
thought about, again, going backto that complication of being
biracial. And you know, forexample, my my grandfather, I
think this might have actuallyalready come up in a different
episode. But my grandfather fora while, disowned my mom for
marrying a black man. And myunderstanding is that he came
(22:24):
around and by the time he died,he was, you know, a loving
grandfather, all that stuff. Buthe definitely had these issues
that he had to work through. AndI have really felt and you know,
for me, it's not very visual atall. It's almost more like
almost feeling like I'moverhearing a conversation of
someone in the room. But I'vereally felt that like, somehow
(22:46):
through me, and through myexistence, some of these white
ancestors have learned thingsthat they just did not have
access to learn by nature ofbeing white and of the era that
they're from, you know, becauseit's like, was my grandfather
racist? Or was he a white manborn in 1922? You know what I
(23:11):
mean? Like, Yeah, cuz racism istaught, like, you know, it's
like, did he literally even havean opportunity to know better?
And it seems like when he did,he did do better, like once? He
Yeah, he disowned my mom formarrying a black man. But once
it was, like, Hey, dummy, like,this is going to be your
grandchild. Like, it kind of allmelted away, you know what I
(23:32):
mean? Because he wanted to meethis grandchild. It wasn't me, it
was my brother. I wasn't I that,that broke, you know, that
changed all of this, you know,whatever, shout out to my older
brother, but, you know, butstill, seriously, I was like, I
really feel like, you know,through being able to follow my
life path and to see that intoexperience that in me around me,
(23:54):
however, you want to look atthat, whether they're watching
me from heaven, or literally inyou know, my heart and my soul.
It's allowing them to to learnthose those lessons. And I and I
really, and and that's again,where you're just like, is this
just in my head? Because I'mlike, is this truth? Or is this
just what I need to hear? Like,what would make me feel better
(24:17):
as a black man in America withwhite ancestors who benefited
from white supremacy in a veryobvious way?
Yeah, yeah. That yeah, that thatmade me think about my, my white
grandfather as well, because, Imean, he he like marched with
(24:37):
Neo Nazis in Chicago to keeplike black people out of his
neighborhood. And that's like,fucking disgusting to me. And so
the thought that my, like antiracist journey could also
represent like, atonement forhim. Not atonement because he
doesn't deserve atonement, butlike learning like he just
(24:59):
needed a fuck Learn, you knowthat that can represent his
learning too. And his growth?
Like, that's really cool to me.
Yeah, like that. I mean, he wasborn Apple though, but if he can
be less of an asshole in my bodythen in my blood, that's so be
it.
Yeah, cuz again, it's it's it's,you know breaking the cycle and
(25:22):
we don't know, again, you knowkind of going back to what
people what people get passeddown I mean that is that is
something that I mean, I am noteven an authority to be speaking
on this right but you know, it'slike but I also understand that
that from a scientific levelthat research is very new, you
know, this is a very new thingthat we're learning about how
(25:43):
trauma can get passed down howthese experiences can get passed
down. So you're right, it's likewe don't, we don't know. Like,
what could it because at the endof the day, like you had a
choice, we all as biracialpeople kind of have a choice.
And it's like reallyfrustrating, at least for me to
(26:05):
always feel like I have toalmost like, pick a side, right?
You know, it's like, am I black?
Or am I white? And it's like,well, to really just fully
identify with one without theother is an incomplete picture.
And I'm, you know, it's not thisbinary thing for me. But that
all, you know, all that beingsaid, there is a little bit of a
(26:27):
degree of choice. And I reallycould have said, you know, oh,
well, to hell with the whitedevil, like, you know, black
power all the way and almostlike, try to deny that that's a
part of my history. And on theflip side, I could say, like,
well, racism is over, obviously,look at me, and just completely
(26:48):
ignore the fact that, you know,and you know, that, that I do
have privileges working in myfavor, and just being like,
well, if any black people aresuffering, they must be stupid
or lazy, you know, like I had,that I do have that choice, as
as uncomfortable is sometimestalked about, it's like, I do
have that choice, it's like, Icould completely abandon one
(27:10):
side, and act like, you know,this isn't a part of my history,
or I could really face both ofthose sides and really face the
complexity of what it means tohave both of these things within
me and really understanding likehow to move forward with it with
a self definition that honorsboth sides, kind of does
(27:35):
whatever atonement needs tohappen on either side, if
there's, if it needs to happenon one side more than the other,
you know, just that, that'sneither here nor there. But
really understanding thatbecause at the end of the day,
we could make the choice to notand to just have that those
unresolved issues, you know,pass on to future generations,
(27:57):
you know, and even if we don'thave kids, you know, it's still
passed on through like niecesand nephews and other people who
might have similar backgroundsas us who are from the younger
generation that we are in aposition to be able to influence
you know, yeah, absolutely.
I love that. So, how did it sowhat so what is this book club
(28:21):
Exactly? Like how this year longone like, what, what is it? What
are you doing? So? Yeah, it'sthrough a Patreon that my friend
had told me about. Her name isnaam Ka. And, and I don't know,
we could put it in the notes orwhatever.
So that's for sure.
Yeah. But um, yeah, so she hadshe had picked this book, and
(28:41):
it's, it's called standing andnot falling by Lee Morgan. And
it's over I think it's 13minutes 12 minutes. And so each
chapter you read the chapter andyou do the practice for a month
long. And so you know, like Isaid, the witches body that
chapter was about connectingwith your body and just over the
next month, you know, noticewhen your earrings notice when
(29:04):
your hand itches, notice youknow when when you get the
chills, right, and and what arethose seem to mean, what are
those culturally mean for you?
What are those culturally meanand other cultures? And it
actually actually ended up beinglike, a really cool coincidence
because I also listened to thispodcast called The Stoop fuckin
amazing. And that mind thatepisode was about signals in the
(29:27):
body. And I was like, Oh, shit,I need to get my notebook out.
Like writing down all the thingstoo that they were saying like,
Oh, the right hand itches. Thatmeans I think it was like
money's going out. The left handitches. It means money's coming
in. It might have been theopposite direction but it's like
whichever one is the Yin is likehis stuff coming in. And the
young his his stuff coming out.
(29:53):
I don't know about that shit.
But but it was just like, youknow, knowing what things mean
in my body and it made so muchsense But that one happened
before the chapter on donesupper, which is, you know,
where I hosted invited the deadpeople to my family, because
there were moments where like,my body would just do things.
And I was like, This is amessage. So I was just sitting
there eyes closed, it's likemidnight, and I'm going around
(30:15):
the table inviting or, you know,introducing people one by one
welcoming them. And one of whatthe chapter had also said, like,
invite anyone who you think isculturally significant, like it
doesn't have to be justrelatives. It could be people
who have passed away who youthink were important for your
family? So I invited lapu lapu,who was the Filipino warrior who
(30:38):
murdered Ferdinand Magellan? Iwas like, Fuck, yeah, anti
colonialist. Let's bring thismotherfucker in. But I was also
like, okay, the dinner party, hedoesn't know who the fuck I am.
He doesn't know who the fuck myfamily is. So I gave him a plus
one. I was like, that's, youknow, dinner party. So I like
had a polite thing to do.
(30:59):
Exactly. He was like, he doesn'tknow anyway, you know. So I read
out the invitations, actually onlike, rose petals, and then I
burnt them. Nice. And I justlike made all this shit up. I
was like, I don't know whatyou're normally supposed to do.
But who gives a fuck? Let'slet's let's figure it out. And
and when he showed up, you know,I'm just sitting here meditating
(31:19):
this whole thing. I'm justvisualizing it. I don't know if
it's true. Or if it's not, itdoesn't matter. That's not the
point. You brought, EstebanSoliz? Who based off of my last
name you might be able to guessis the conquistador in my family
line from Spain. Wow. And I waslike, you fucking trickster. And
(31:40):
he was like, I don't know whatto tell you afterwards tell you
ship different in the afterlife.
And I was like, Okay, what?
Do you start to learn somelessons on the other side?
I guess so. So, so I'mintroducing people one by one, I
introduced my grandma who hadjust recently passed to
Nicaragua. Tonda. The ancestor Itold you, like, you know, I had
(32:00):
visited during a meditation. AndI got this, like, warm in my
body, like, like, it wasfamiliar. And I was like, Okay,
this was probably her mom or hergrandma. Like from that feeling?
Like, they were just, they werejust familiar. And then when I
introduced I was like, Look,alright, well, we'll see. I
introduced my grandma to Estebanpolice. And I got a massive
(32:22):
fucking shiver throughout mywhole body. And I was like, bro,
you gotta go. I literally walkedto the door and opened it. And
that was like, you're leaving?
Wow. Yeah. I was just like, Getthis man away from me. Like,
yeah, it's withus. Yeah, exactly. I think it
was like, You're not ready toface this yet. Wow. You know,
like, you're not ready for theseconversations you've got he's
(32:43):
got to go. Yeah, it's not timefor that yet. Yeah. And so it's
like, whether that was my bodytelling me that my brain telling
you that my grandma telling youthat who fucking knows. But it
was like, it was a messageenough for me to be like, I
gotta go. And another one is Iwas like, I need to stop
glorifying people, you know?
(33:03):
Yeah. I feel that big time.
Yeah.
And so every chapter, it's like,you focus on a new thing. And
through that, too, I feel like,it's, it's been a really good
access for me to figure out whatmy strengths are. You know, it's
like, she provided like, guidedmeditations for some of the
chapters too. And so I was like,Oh, these are strong as fuck.
(33:26):
Hmm. And so it's yeah, like,like, you're able to just
explore each different topic andsee, like, what really speaks to
you? And what really makes adifference?
Yeah, which is so cool. So we'rethere have there been things in
in certain months where you'rejust like, Man, I didn't really
get that much out of that.
Probably won't be something I'mmoving. I'm using moving
(33:48):
forward.
This last chapter was sex magic.
I was like, Oh, let's see what'sgoing on in the SEC project. And
the entire chapter was like,imagine, imagine just humor me.
Imagine if the gender binarydidn't exist. And I was like,
(34:09):
brownlike how they're like, weird.
Like, you know, really questionlike, the gods who we say are
like, one gender or the or theother could be neither. They
could be beyond gender. Theycould be the opposite gender,
(34:31):
whatever. And I was like, cool,bro. Yeah, I questioned gender
every fucking day. And so yeah,I feel like, um, because it was
it was kind of a very intimatetopic. Of course, as you know,
sex. There weren't as many likeguided things. And like, tips
(34:55):
for you to do. I know that thereare things where people like
will masturbate and they'll tryto manifest something as their
masturbating or like, as youorgasm you envision, you know
something, or you charge asigil? Or whatever it is. But
yeah, I've never really donethat. Um, I mean, you could just
(35:17):
be like going at it and be like,oh maybe it's easier said than
done. Maybe I just need to tryit. Think about it. I added to
my to do list.
That's very interesting. But thethis book didn't really go into
(35:39):
that, like you, you know aboutthat kind of stuff from like,
other aspects of the book did gointo, into that piece of sex.
He kind of mentioned a littlebit, like, harnessing the power
to do things. But But yeah,there weren't like a lot of
really specific like, you know,now on Tuesday, masturbate,
like, think about abundance. Andthen like on Thursday, talk to
(36:00):
your partner about like, XYZ andthen see if you want to do it,
it's like, um, but there wasstill conversation, at least to
be like, you know, what isconsent look like in this
situation? Like, if, like, Am Iallowed to use my orgasm for
whatever I want? If this was apartner interaction, you know,
like, should I tell my partnerthat I'm interested in doing
(36:21):
magic while we're having sex?
You know, like, because consentis really important. And so if
they if, what if I'm like havingsex with my partner like Hexing
someone they love, you know,like, I don't think that that's
something they would approve of.
Very good point. Wow. I've neverthought of I never I never
thought of that. But that's avery good point. I mean,
(36:43):
and it also makes me think oflike consent in the house, too,
right? If I'm, I told Aaron, Itold my husband about the dumb
supper, like, before I did. Iwas like, Hey, I'm gonna do this
thing. I'm gonna invite spiritsand like, he lives here, too.
You know, he was like, I'm gonnago away that night. I think
that's actually the day hevisited. But yeah,
(37:07):
he was very insistent onvisiting me, which seemed weird,
because peek behind the curtain.
We live a little distance apart.
And I usually come to you. And Iwas like, you want to drive in
LA traffic to see me?
Something's going on at home.
You're like, are you withStephanie? Okay.
(37:27):
I literally asked him that. Hetold us on our witchy chat.
I did love his tweet after youdid something. And he tweeted
something about like my wife.
Yeah, my wife had a dinner forall these spirits. And somehow I
got stuck doing the dishes.
(37:50):
Shout out to Aaron.
He's so great.
Yeah, yeah, that's, that'sreally cool, though. So it
sounds like you're in a groupthat is this, like, was this
specifically a group with otherFilipino people? Or is just
people from from varyingbackgrounds? No.
(38:11):
So this group is mostly polish,which is my mom's grandma. Um,
so it's, it's funny because I,I'm so strangely racially
ambiguous where like, if you putme in a group of Mexican people,
I am Mexican. If you put me in agroup of Filipino people, I'm
Filipino. You put me in a groupof like mainlander Asians, I am
a mainland or Asian. And Irealized on this chat, too, if
(38:31):
you put me in a whole group ofPolish women, I am Polish.
Interesting. I would wait, Ilook back to the app. But yeah,
so it's mostly Polish women. AndI've been trying to find like a
Filipino, witchcraft, Patreon.
And I haven't found anything.
Um, or at least like a group, Iknow that there is a center I
think, based out of LA don'tquote me on that, called the
(38:53):
Babylon center. And they'llactually partner, um, you know,
people from the Filipinodiaspora with people who have
lived in the Philippines, tolike, learn more about your
culture. And so I've beenmeaning to do that. But you
know, me and my fuckin ADHD,like, I just do too, too many
things, and I it just ends upnot getting prioritized. And
I'm, I feel like a dig for it.
(39:14):
Yeah, well, I think there'sdefinitely something to be said
too, about in taking all this innot doing too much too fast too
soon. Because I've definitelybeen guilty of that, you know,
in different areas of my life.
And I'm like, I've taken on somuch change at once that like,
once I see that it's, it'shaving an effect. I'm like, I
don't even know what what causedit. So I guess I have to do all
(39:35):
of it. Because I don't want todrop any of these plates that I
have spinning because yeah, Idon't know which one is actually
the one creating positivechange, you know?
Yeah, I totally I totally feelyou on that.
That's really cool, though. ButI think too, you know, just the
fact that the fact that this isa Polish group and not a
Filipino group, which that wasnot what I expected you to say.
(39:58):
But I love it. You know, thefact that this is not a Filipino
group. And yet, it's helping youkind of tap into your Filipino
ancestry, I think that that justgoes to show, again, that it's
like, you bring us back to whatyou said in the beginning, it's
like, you just have to trythings. And you have to kind of
get in tune with your own body.
Because at the end of the day,you know, whether it's a
(40:21):
external connection, or justsomething external or something
inside of us, or whatever, youknow, all we really kind of need
is that like, safe space toreally explore that. And
whatever is true for us asindividuals is his is going to
come out and I'm sure it will belike a much greater, deeper
experience to be able to explorethat with Filipino people. But I
(40:44):
think I think I'm saying asMartin myself that, you know, do
you and maybe, I guess to thelisteners, but it's like, you
know, you're trying to, if youfeel that pool to look into like
a spiritual practice, like notbeing able to find your people
because like, in my case, Imean, gosh, you're having a hard
time finding a Filipino group,like good fucking luck to me
finding a Tanzanian group like,oh, my god, yeah, there's hardly
(41:06):
any of us out here, you know. Soit's like, I that that's a good
excuse to not start. It's like,just just like your body.
There's some something in yousomething deep in your soul is
going to know what to do and beable to pick up and put down
things that do and don't worklike sex magic.
(41:30):
Yeah. And I think I think towhat what I'm like discounting
is I totally have like, twoFilipino women in my fucking
coven. And part of part of itis, like, just imposter
syndrome. Like, I'm so worriedthat I'm like, I'm such a
fucking noob. And I'm such anidiot, and I have such stupid
fucking question. Like, I don'teven know how it's like in the
(41:51):
Philippines, and they, like wereborn there, you know, and I'm
just like, they're gonna thinkI'm an idiot. And I know in my
head, they're not gonna thinkI'm an idiot. Like, they,
they're fucking great. They'reamazing. Like, fuckin shout out
to both of them if they listento this. Yeah, and I think it's
just like, like, we got to letgo of the imposter syndrome man.
But also, I think like, like,think about the plus side of
(42:13):
being biracial to like, like,the fact that I have so many
pantheons like, available to me,you know, like, I can learn as
much as I can about, like, theFilipino, like, pre colonial
gods. And I can learn aboutlike, fucking Irish Fae, like
shit, I can learn about all ofthis polish stuff from like, the
Patreon that I'm a part of,like, there are so many other
(42:37):
frameworks, that, that humansthat cultures have built, that I
have access to in my body. Andto learn about and to, to
leverage, really, it's justlike, these, these are all
systems that people built tofigure out life. Yeah, you know,
(42:59):
and it's like, Who the fuck am Ito question any of those? to
question the existence of any ofthese things? Like, like meat?
Like, how righteous do you haveto be to be like, No, but I have
the answer. I have the answer.
faqeer 40,000 years ofexistence. I have the fucking
meat. I'm so special. And it'slike, I used to think that yeah,
(43:21):
and it's like, Who Who fuckingknows? Like, there is so much
wonder in this world. And ifyou're not down to like, just
look at the beauty and thewonder of like, all of this
crazy shit that humans havemade. Like, I must be so boring.
I couldn't agree more. And gosh,what a what a great note to end
(43:46):
on. being biracial is a gift.
Hell yeah. By racialrepresentation. That's what this
episode is all about. AndStephanie, do you have anything
else that you would like to addthat you feel like you'd be
remiss? Oh, if we left it out,but believe people believe
people? Yeah. Yeah, like whenpeople tell you their fucking
(44:08):
ghost stories, when people tellyou their UFO stories, when
people tell you that they canfake an astral project. Believe
them, maybe not if they tell youthey're an indigo child. That's
just like white people. Theirexcuse to like label their
autistic children as indigochildren instead of just being
real. And they're just ablestassholes, but yeah, I mean,
(44:29):
other than that other than youknow white people who have
stolen culture and stolenwitchcraft and you know whatever
Yeah, believe people that'ssorry. Anyone who's not white
gonna get real mad at me butwhat you know, listen to some
(44:51):
like people beliefs on whitepeople, but you know, believe
people who are speaking theirtruth and just talk From your
ego, you know the soul the soulrecognizes what's real. I think
I just finished watching thecircle. So real recognize real.
Alright, well on that note, geezwhere we talk about witchcraft
(45:15):
being biracial, and the latestNetflix reality series, if you
want all this and more,Stephanie, where can people find
you out there on the worldwide?
My Instagram is blood magicbitch. Yeah, every time you say
it, you know,right or so the other one is
which? You know, I got to it'sfine.
(45:38):
We'll have the links to those inthe show notes. Stephanie, thank
you so much for coming on this,this has been a blast, as
always, and I cannot wait totalk to you again. Thank you for
having me.
All right, once again, that wasStephanie solace. Stephanie,
(46:00):
thank you for coming onto theshow. You're one of my favorite
people in the world, aparticipant participant in some
of my favorite group chats, wasreally great to put some of our
conversation on record. And if Ican just piggyback off of what
Stephanie said at the very endthere. Learn the magic of your
people. You know, patriarchal,Christian leaning, white
(46:25):
supremacy has us all forgettingthe magic that lives within our
blood that comes from ourancestors that comes from the
land in which we originate.
Which if you're white, is notNorth America. What were you
what were your people doingbefore, missions took over
before white supremacy took overbefore the patriarchy took over.
(46:48):
And really tap into that magic.
I really do believe that themore that we tap into our
personal power, our personaltruth in our personal magic, I
won't necessarily say that itmakes the world better. But it
makes handling the world a lotbetter. It makes our
(47:08):
relationship individually withthe world a lot better. And when
you multiply that by howevermany people choose to do that
work. It's got to have some sortof effect, right? Anyway, for
the next episode coming out intwo weeks, be on the lookout. I
don't have anything set in stoneyet. But I will be doing some
live stuff I believe with mynext guest in two weeks on
(47:31):
December 7. So be on the lookoutfor that. Make sure you're
following me on both Instagramand Tik Tok at Leo Yockey l
EOYOCKEY. The links to both arein the show notes. Have a great
couple of weeks. If you're inthe United States, learn whose
indigenous land you'reoccupying. If you can do that
(47:54):
one little thing for me onThanksgiving, I would really
appreciate that. I know I'm inSerrano territory, closely
shared with the with the withthe borders of Tonga, which I
might be saying incorrectly, Igot to learn how to say that,
and shoe Mosh. But in the samevein of us learning about the
true roots of our ancestry andour culture and our magic. You
(48:17):
know, let's let's do a betterjob of acknowledging the fact
that we are on stolen land, andthat the original culture of
this land is not ours. And it'snot the culture that we know
today. Anyway, on that note,I'll see you in a couple of
weeks with a very specialepisode. I will not be in LA
when I'm recording live. Andthat's part of the reason why
(48:38):
I'm able to do these lives. Soyeah, keeping it cryptic, stay
evolving.
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