August 10, 2021 • 58 mins
From a relationship ending due to "not doing enough" with his life to being an inspiration to trans men and entrepreneurs around the world, Braxton Fleming's life path is full of fascinating connections. Braxton and Leo discuss Braxton's nursing career lending itself to him founding Stealth Bros & Co, a luxury medical supply company; his commitment to the trans community being a "missing link" that, once discovered, allowed him to unlock his maximum potential; the meaning behind his signature hashtag #OnAMission; and how to tap into your inner strength by trusting yourself.
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Follow Braxton!
instagram.com/sire.brax;
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stealthbrosco.com;
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facebook.com/StealthBrosCo
By: Leo Yockey
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:14):
Hello, and welcome to anotherepisode of the Leo Yockey show,
the podcast where I, Leo Yockeyinterview guests about how their
unique life path led them todefine success and fulfillment.
The goal? You know, I've beensaying for a while that the goal
is to provide us some relief forour existential dread, but I
(00:37):
don't really think that's it.
You know, it's a nice sideeffect sometimes. But what's
really happening here is we'recreating connection. You know,
it's not every day that we getto really stop and think about
how we got to where we are, andhow the communities that we
built or been a part of, or therandom experiences that we've
(00:59):
had, the people that have comein and out of our lives, and the
the training that we've had, itall culminates to where we are
today, each of us asindividuals, and I love being
able to have conversations withguests where, you know, one, or
both of us says, oh, whoa, like,I've never thought about it this
(01:21):
way. And and I know because Iknow how it works when we're all
connected. If one of us ishaving that moment, then y'all
or at least some of y'all areprobably having to listening to
this show. And, you know, Ireally think that that's what
life is all about. We've hadpeople on this show from all
(01:41):
over the world, we've had peopleon this show from all kinds of
different vocations, andinterests. And there's still a
few things that always come upevery single episode. community
is really, really important.
There's usually some sort ofhint, where the thing that we're
(02:04):
doing right now, we've kind ofbeen preparing for it our whole
lives, even if we didn't knowwhat we were doing. And no
matter how successful we are, nomatter how much we've
accomplished, there's still someimposter syndrome that comes in.
Because at the end of the day,as much as things change, things
(02:25):
still also stay the same. Youknow, no matter what I
experience in life, I'm stillthe kid from Lancaster,
California, that doesn't reallyknow what direction his life is
going in, you know, I'm stillthe kid that thinks that every
new experience that I have is agift. And you know, I still want
(02:45):
to enjoy everything to the max.
And I still think that there'sso much to learn, and there's so
much to explore. And that nevergoes away. You know, there's
there's certain things that nomatter how much things change,
they all stay the same. And nomatter how random and
unconnected things seem, themore that when we really look at
(03:07):
our lives. It's kind of thespider web, you know what I
mean? Like this beautiful web ofconnections and inter woven
experiences. And I think thatall of that is really cool. And
I don't think that we talk aboutit enough, especially now, when
we can really do anything thatwe want, you know, the The world
(03:29):
is changing, and for the better,in my opinion, arbitrary
barriers to entries are comingdown in countless industries now
that we can do anything. Thereal question is, who do we want
to be? Yeah, I've, I'vementioned in previous episodes,
(03:50):
that this has been a greatanchor for me, as I navigate
through change in my life. Andit really is, it is an honor and
a privilege to be able to createand host the space where these
conversations are happening. Youknow, it's real talk about real
life from real people doing realthings. And honestly, I think
(04:12):
that's real cool. Anyway, myguest today is someone that I've
really admired from a distancefor a long time and, you know,
talk about an honor and aprivilege. It was just, it's so
cool to be able to have thisspace where I can be like, hey,
person I've admired let's talk,and they say, okay, you know, I
(04:36):
don't I don't want to give toomuch away, but Braxton Fleming,
you know, he's the founder andCEO of a company called stealth,
stealth Bros. and coit's really cool how again, you
know, the barriers are comingdown, and he he provided a
solution for Something that ourcommunity, our community as, as
(05:00):
transgender men really needed,and, you know, back before the
internet, the ability to createthis product to market it to the
right people to find a bigenough community to be able to
market it and turn this into aprofitable business. It just
wouldn't have been possiblebefore. You know, that's the
(05:21):
thing, it doesn't matter howhard you work, if if the world
isn't ready, if theinfrastructure isn't there, it's
just not there. But now thatit's here, you know, go getters,
like Braxton are able to bringsolutions that you know,
initially was just for thetransgender community, but it's,
it's helping people with allkinds of medical needs. And I
(05:43):
think that that's really cool.
Can you hear my cat scratchingin the background? I hope not.
I've had to record this so manytimes already. And now my cat is
in his litter box scratching atthe wall. That is that is great.
You know what? I'm gonna takethat as a sign to bring you over
(06:04):
to the conversations theinterview. Hey, if you like what
you're hearing, yeah, tag us onInstagram, take a screenshot of
this, make it your Instagramstory. You know, a five star
written review goes a reallylong way. I mean, that's
basically currency in thisworld, if you want to support
the show, those are some greatways to do it. let your friends
(06:27):
know that you're into it, anddiscuss it with them. You know,
what, what, what do you think isinteresting? What did anything
provide an aha moment for you?
You know, like I said, I lovecreating moments of connection.
So you know, share this withpeople start a conversation. And
you might be surprised where itleads you. Anyway, here's
(06:47):
Braxton.
Braxton. How are you doingtoday? I'm doing good, man. How
are you? I'm doing good. I'mdoing good. I was just saying
off mic or off recording, Iguess it's zoom. So I have to
(07:07):
use my mic. But I was justsaying how excited I was to
finally meet you, you aresomeone that, you know, I've
been following on Instagramsince really early on in my
transition, and to kind of seeboth your personal growth and
the growth of your business hasbeen, I mean, I'm just gonna say
it's been really inspirationalfor me on my path. So I
appreciate you coming onto theshow and sharing your story.
(07:31):
Thank you. Thank you so muchthat that really means a lot to
me. And I'm excited to be here.
Yeah, absolutely. So for thelisteners who are less familiar
with you than I am, you know,who is Braxton Fleming, you
know, when you when you'reintroducing yourself to people,
you know, what are what's kindof like your elevator pitch for
yourself.
Okay, so my name is BraxtonFleming. I'm 32 years old. I'm
(07:55):
the CEO and founder of a companycalled stealth brozen. Co, which
is a luxury dopp kit companythat provides home and travels
storage for all of your medicalinjectable needs. And yeah,
that's pretty much it. And I'malso a licensed practical nurse
for the past who were going on12 years and January. So yeah,
(08:20):
that's that's pretty pretty muchabout me, um, you know, just
trying to be more involvedwithin our community as always
trying to make a difference andjust showing up for everybody
every day. That's, that's mymain goal.
Yeah, that's awesome. I lovethat. I didn't know that you had
been a nurse for that long. Soyou if I'm doing my math, right,
you became a nurse when you werelike 1920 years old.
Was that correct? Yes, that'scorrect. That's correct. I
(08:43):
actually was in nursing schoolwhen I was eight. Teen yet no,
yeah, go 18. Gone is 19. And Igraduated a year later. And
then, like, a couple monthsafter that, I passed my boards
and I've been working as a nurseever since.
That's really interesting. Ifind that really interesting.
Just because the path that we goon as, as trans people is really
(09:08):
anybody who has to really figureout who they are, you know, to
kind of have a career and stickwith it through all of that
consistently is. I mean, it'sthe exact opposite of what I've
been doing. But it seems likethe opposite of what a lot of
people have done from what I'veseen, so like, what, what what
(09:28):
led you to nursing initially,um, honestly, I wanted to be a
plastic surgeon, initially,because when I was growing up my
mother, she said that too muchcartoons and everything was too
much. So every day we would haveto watch, specifically me, but
every day I would have to watchsomething educational on TV and
(09:51):
what I used to gravitate to wasback in the day, way back when
there was something calleddiscovery health like you have
Every channel but there used tobe something called discovery
health, which is now by obrah.
But discovery health would haveso many different things on with
like, just so many differentthings I was just really
attracted to like the medicalfield. I liked watching, I liked
(10:13):
surgery, I just like theconnection with the patients. I
liked seeing I like helping andthen seeing the results. And as
I got older, I realized thatbeing a plastic surgeon was a
lot of work. It was a lot ofschooling. And when I was in
college, um, you know, obviouslyI wanted to make money and
things of that nature. So Iactually ended up saying, you
(10:34):
know what, I'm going to just goto the trade school and get my
LPN as a licensed practicalnurse, and then I'll work my way
up from there. So my goal was tooriginally be a licensed
practical nurse, and then get myRn and then focalize and like
anesthesia, and then actually bein a war room consistently. That
was the goal then. And as Iprogressed, in my nursing
(10:55):
career, I realized that thatwasn't it because my life was
changing. I was changing. I justdidn't. I like I still love
nursing, but it's just not mypath. But I needed to do it in
order for me to get right innow. So it's like when I always
talk about stealth bros, andlike how stealth bros was
(11:16):
created. People always ask melike, you know what, what led
you here, and I always say thatstealth bros is not just my
business, it's my life. Itliterally is my life. Because
everything that I went through,is what has brought me to where
I am right now. And if it wasn'tfor those circumstances, and
everything that I've learned,then I wouldn't have been able
(11:37):
to apply myself like I am nowwith my business. So it's like,
it's like a life's path. I guessyou could say like, that's how I
just look at it. Like, thenursing is necessary for me to
run stealth Bros. It wasnecessary for me to do I still
do it. But part time not fulltime anymore.
You're a part time nurse now.
Yes, yes. So I work part timenursing now that I'm actually in
(12:01):
the middle of a leap of faithright now, like the past couple
months, I've like back down onmy nursing hours, and I pick up
I need to pick up and then I youknow if I have to work more if I
feel like I need to work more,or get some for my kids or
something, then I'll put theextra hours in. And I'll just
work the double time like I'vebeen doing the past five years.
But I'm trying to lean more onthe business because we've been
(12:24):
doing really well. So I'm likein between of like, some weeks,
I may work, I may work. Two orthree days, I worked 12 hour
shifts. So I might work two orthree days one week, which is
full time. But days on my onlywork one day a week. So it just
depends on how my schedule islooking what my month is looking
like. It just it just depends.
But I'm in that middle stage oftrying to stop working full time
(12:47):
as a nurse and then working fulltime only on my business. So
yeah, it's it's hard. But that'swhat growth is. It's hard growth
is hard.
Yeah, that's really cool.
Congratulations on being in thislike leap of faith period that
was actually going to be one ofmy questions. Because there are,
there are pros and cons to both.
And I you know, I've had otherpeople on the show who have
(13:10):
businesses who have like,intentionally kept it part time
because there's, there'sdifferent freedoms that come
from your business, being parttime and keeping your full time
job and not having to make youknow, some and I guess is
different, especially if yourbusiness is a creative one, you
know, because it's like you canmake decisions that aren't
necessarily the best formarketing or whatever. So, but
(13:32):
that's really cool that you'reable to like, take this full
time. So you said you said youneed you kind of you know that
experience of nursing has helpedyou with stuff, brothers, is it?
Do you mean that in like areally, really practical sense,
like being a nurse and workingwith needles helps me figure out
the best products for stealthbrothers? Or do you just mean
(13:53):
there's something about, likethe work ethic behind being a
nurse that is helping you likegrind as an entrepreneur? Or is
it a little bit of both?
I think it's a little bit ofboth. But I really think that
like my assessment skills iswhat led me to realize that
there was a void. And that iswhat was able to say, hey, look,
(14:14):
I know about these sharpscontainers I know about these
needles and the sizes and allthese things. So you know, I
need somewhere to places so whynot create something for us all
to place it and just from like,binge watching YouTube when I
first started transitioning iswhat really made me make that
general assessment that nobodyhad anywhere to place their tea,
(14:37):
like it was in shoe boxes. Itwas all over the place. And I
was like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, thisis a big No, no, like, people
are just like throwing theirneedles around and they don't
know what the hell to do withthis. So I said let me come in
here and fix that. So so sopretty much that's what happens.
You know, that's I was justmaking a general assessment on
everybody as I'm watching theirvideos indirectly. You know what
(14:58):
I mean? It wasn't like, I'm likespecifically trying to find an
issue. But as I started, like,my wheels start to turn on like,
yo, nobody has anywhere to puttheir stuff like what's going on
here. And when I went to thestore for my stuff, I really
didn't have nothing. So I'mlike, Okay, well, let me try to
figure out what I can do. And Iactually had this idea for like,
literally, since I was like,three or four months on T, and
(15:21):
then I didn't start thisbusiness until, like, a year on
T. Yeah, like a year and onemonth on T. And then that's when
I actually started the businessand, like, started to push it
in, like, you know, a few monthsprior to that. I was like, you
know, getting all my T's anddotting my eyes and things like
that. But yeah, it was, it's,that's why I always tell people,
it's a life path. Because it's,it's not one thing that led me
(15:43):
to creating self Bros. It'slike, it's my life has led me
here, all the things that I'vebeen through, you know, pushed
me to start the business and todo what I do, you know?
Yeah, I love that. There's,there's a couple of things there
that I love, actually. I mean, Ilove that. I love the idea that
you're over here, you know,because, you know, like, you
(16:05):
work a job. And then you seethat job portrayed on TV. And
you're like, this is never howthat would go, you know what I
mean? Like, like, EMTs willwatch like, the, the medical
dramas is like, This isn't howit just goes. And so you're
you're watching these YouTubevideos, and you're watching
these people, you know, kind ofmishandle their needles, and
you're like, you're likepractically ripping your hair
(16:25):
like, What are you guys doing?
And you and you see this need?
i? And I think that that lendsitself exactly what you're
saying, like no experience evergoes wasted. And I think that
that's so cool that you wereable to kind of like, put those
things together. But so you havethat idea. When you were three
months on T you started when youwere a year on T i saw
somewhere, I think in adifferent interview that she did
(16:46):
or something that stealthbrothers was initially started
as like a top surgery fundraiserfor you. So do you Yes,
yes, it was I actually. So whileI was going through my
transition, obviously, I wasworking as a nurse, but I was
like, I'm tired of this. I don'tfeel like putting OT and I could
definitely put ot in and justpaid for my surgery. But I
(17:08):
didn't want to do that. BecauseI felt at this point in my time.
I mean, I still do feel thisway. But I felt so connected to
the community because I felt sorelieved once I realized, like
that missing link in my life.
Because years prior to mytransition, I was feeling this
void. I was telling everybody,my family, I don't know what's
wrong with me. Like, I'm tryingto figure this out. And once I
connected with the transgendercommunity through YouTube, I was
(17:32):
like, these are my people like,this is my APR, you know what I
mean. And when I was watchingall the YouTube videos, not only
was I assessing everybody, but Iwas also seeing who was like, I
don't want to say the mostpopular but I was watching those
guys who were obviously gettinga lot of attention because they
were really showing a lot oftheir transitions. They were
(17:55):
really being open with the worldand sharing their stories. And
some of these guys hadbusinesses and they were running
apparel companies and things andI'm like, oh man, they're
helping they're making money toget top surgery. I'm like, maybe
there's something I can do forthe community too. So like, all
these things were like rollingin my head. So as these things
are all in my head, I was alsoon Instagram making
(18:18):
relationships because we'rereaching out to I'm reaching out
to other trans men. I'm liketalking about my beard growth.
And like I got four hairs here.
Like it's making that genuineconnection. And throughout the
first year of my transition, Ilike just talked to everybody. I
just talked to everybody becausewe were all kind of going
(18:40):
through the same thing. Therewas a lot of guys started tea
when I was starting tea. So itwas like a sense of community.
And then once I was able to sayI actually went through a
breakup before I started mybusiness because I really get it
pushed me to start the businessmy breakup because sorry, this
is kind of like crazy, cuzthere's just so many things that
(19:02):
are involved. But yeah, no, Ilove it. My breakup. I was with
this woman for like, I think itwas seven years at this time. We
were together for 10 years. Butyeah, we were together for like
seven years at this time. And webroke up because she was telling
me I wasn't doing anything andall this shit. And I'm like,
bro, I'm gonna go get her like Istopped my life nursing and
(19:23):
furthering my career in nursingso I could help you further your
career in nursing and I stoppedmy life and now I'm moving for
my life in my transition, andI'm going through all these
changes. You know, it was a lotfor her it was for me, but
either way I ended up moving outof that house and I moved back
into my dad's house. And at thatpoint, I said, You know what, I
(19:44):
can't curse but I'll just saybig fu to everybody. Oh, you can
curse on this show. If that'swhat you're just say, you know,
big fu to everybody. And I saidI am somebody I can use. I've
been a go getter since I wasborn like I was born. So I just
focus I had so much more time.
So I wasn't worried about awoman, I was just focused on me.
(20:05):
So I was doing homecare Nursingat the time. And I was taking
care of a six month old baby whohad issues going on. And I had
12 hours in this woman's houseand 10 out of those 12 The baby
was sleep. So I would becomputer research and research
and research and, and, you know,talking to everybody, and then
(20:25):
once I came up with a product, Ihad the samples, I had
everything kind of emotion. Ireached out to all the people I
had made connections with overthat past year and said, Hey, do
you want this product? Andthey're like, yeah, I want this
product. I'm like, Okay, cool.
If you like it, repost it. Ifyou don't, you don't. Yeah, and
people's reposting it likecrazy. But I'm trying to get
(20:48):
back to your question. I'msorry. Because like, I get
excited. I'm like sweating. Ilove it.
But the the top surgery was, Ifigured, okay, I will create
this for my top surgery, andI'll get it, I'll sell like 300
bags a year. And I'll get mylittle bit of money. And I can
put that towards my top surgery.
But after like the first month,and I sold out of like all the
(21:10):
products, I realized at thatmoment that people really liked
this. And then people were like,I need a smaller one. So then
like six months later, I cameout with the junior DOP. And
then once the junior DOP cameout, it was like it was on like,
it was crazy, because everybodywas this is really what I need
to, like, keep my stufftogether. So after that, I just
(21:30):
kept dropping collections,dropping collections. And then
the whole first year, I made agood amount of money. But I put
all my money into the topsurgery fund because I said, I'm
gonna raise money for myself,but I can't have this money, if
it isn't for my community, likethis business was built on the
(21:50):
foundation of them. So I have togive something back as well. So
I was taking 15% of the profits,which was just too much at that
time. But I didn't know becauseI was just doing this. I didn't
know what the hell I was doing.
But anyway, I saved a shitloadof money. And I said, Okay, I'm
going to give all this money tothis guy. And the profits I had,
I didn't really have anyprofits, because all the
(22:12):
expenses and photography,content payments and everything
else that involves running abusiness, I didn't have the
money, but I had this 2500sitting in my savings account
from all the 15% that I tookaway. So I gave it away. So I
didn't get my top surgery thatfirst year it was it wasn't
until actually, the second yearof still rose, I was actually
able to apply for credit. Andthen I paid off my top surgery
(22:37):
literally like I think beginningof June, January this past year,
like I just finished playing.
Yeah, thank you. But and so thepros paid for that they paid for
that monthly payment, which wasamazing. So I didn't have to
come from my own pocket to paythat. But it just, it's just
like and that's why like I sayit's my life because it's like
one thing happened at it's like,all these little things just
(22:58):
we're happening in the momentsof moving forward. And now, it's
like not only do we serve thetransgender community, but now
we're like hitting majorpharmaceutical companies of
diabetics and insulin companiesthat actually need this product.
There's IVF clients that like touse this product. There's stud
masculinize lesbians that liketo put their tampons in here. I
(23:21):
mean, you can really use it forso many different reasons. But I
want to keep it a medical luxurycompany because there's really
no other medical luxury companydopp kit that's out there right
now. So I want to keep it likethat. So people know that hey,
look, you're not looked at somuch but I'm looking at you I'm
here for you. I'm going tosupport you through something
(23:44):
that always isn't the greatestexperience you know, I mean,
giving yourself an injectionalways isn't the greatest
experience that comes with a lotof anxiety. So if you can
something that looks good andmakes you feel good on your
dresser everyday then it's okaytake that shot it's okay to do
that every day or once a week orbi weekly or monthly or however
you need to take it you knowwhat I mean? So yeah, I talked a
(24:04):
lot sorry butit goes great I really love how
how interconnected all this isright you know, cuz it's like
you I can fully relate to thatfeeling the void in the in the
community and meeting thecommunity and kind of feeling
like after transitioning andmeeting this online community
being like, this is it these aremy people. And I love that, you
(24:27):
know, like you were able to kindof pour back into the community
and still kind of have the topsurgery paid off. I think that's
fantastic. And honestly, I thinkwhat you're saying about that
breakup really kind of goes backto what we were saying before we
hit record you know, because youyou are obviously this huge go
getter. I mean you became anurse practically straight out
(24:50):
of high school, like you'redoing all that you're you're
essentially building communityand doing market research kind
of simultaneously Almostsubconsciously, because it's
just so ingrained into who youare to be a Dewar, I know you've
been on a big fitness journey,we'll probably be able to talk
about that in just a minute. Butum, you know, your, your ex, you
know, was kind of saying, youknow, in this breakup, like,
(25:14):
you're not doing enough, and blabla bla bla bla. And I think
that that really kind of goesback to what I was saying
before, where our ideas ofsuccess and our ideas of kind of
figuring out who you are, inthis society is really white
centric, Sis, gender centric,you know, hetero normative, all
these things. And when you don'tfit into that, your path into
(25:36):
being a Dewar and living yourpath or in living, your truth is
going to look a lot different.
And there are periods where it'sgoing to feel and even look on
the outside, like, you're notdoing enough. But like, look at
where you've ended up betweennow and however many years ago
that was, you know, like youwere, from what I can tell from
(25:58):
you know, and this is obviously,like, I'm basing this off of
your online persona, a peekbehind the curtain for the
listeners, this is my first timeactually having a conversation
with braxted, ever. But you'revery busy. I mean, I do not
imagine that anybody would saynow that you're not doing enough
that you're not to do or youknow, but it's like, we have to
have those periods of kind ofputting the puzzle pieces in
(26:19):
place. And because the pathisn't so clear and obvious and
kind of laid out ahead of us,for us by society, it does take
time, you know, what I mean?
Like is that that totally makessense that that, you know,
that's that not everybody isgoing to be able to understand
that. But, you know, as long asyou got it, and you understood
it, and you knew you knew thepath, like I said before, like
(26:40):
your story, you're the onlyperson that has to buy it,
you're the only one that has tolike, live it and feel it. And
as long as you live in and feelit doesn't matter what anybody
else is saying, because you knowwhat your truth is?
Yeah, it's so true, I actually,I really want to pull my old Mac
up, because it has a video onthere. And it's when I received
(27:01):
the first samples of the JRdopps. And I recorded myself
opening the bags, because I wasreally excited about because I
had read in the dimensionsnumerous times, I had read the
material numerous times. Sogetting these official ones that
I was gonna really start to sellmeant a lot to me. And I was
(27:23):
like crying on the video. AndI'm like, I don't give a shit.
Who doesn't love these, Ilove this so much. I'm
like, I love these so much thatI didn't care if they sold or
not, I just, I was so happy withthe work that I put into it that
I told myself, I don't care,like I don't care if they don't
sell like, it doesn't matter.
Like I just really love these somuch. And, you know, I think
(27:45):
having that, you know, just forlike other young entrepreneurs
or anyone who's just startingout in their business, you know,
a lot of people want to start abusiness nowadays, because
they're like, Oh, I want to makemy own money. Like, everything
is wrong around the finances.
And that was a that wassomething that I learned very
early on, which I don't know howI knew. But, you know, like I
(28:08):
said, it's my life path. So Godjust placed that in front of me.
So I don't know, but you can'tbuild a business off of wanting
to create money. Like Iobviously, I wanted to raise
money for my top surgery. But Iwanted to I had passion behind
this I I wanted to be more partof that community more than
(28:28):
anything. And that's why when Ihad that first 20 $500 I didn't
care, because I was already I'malready making $30 an hour as a
nurse, I don't care if I didn'tget that 20 $500 I already have
my own money from my career. Soyeah, I was just so happy that I
could say, Hey, you know, I canhelp this person like, and so
many people helped me up intothat point that it was just
(28:51):
like, I want to do this, I wantto do this. I want to do this.
You know what I mean? And that'spretty much I feel like what has
pushed my business so far,because it's not really about,
oh, I'm making X amount ofdollars every month off self
Bros. It's like, Who am I goingto meet next? That's gonna push
me to the next level. Like I'mmore excited about talking to
somebody like having thispodcast and someone who's the
(29:13):
one person that I need to hearthis to take me to the next
level. Yeah, that is what I'mexcited about. You know what I
mean? I don't care about if Imake $1. Or if I get four orders
off of this shown on yourFacebook or your Instagram. I
don't care about that I careabout who am I going to meet
next like Carmen carerra justlike five of my pictures on
Instagram. Like, I don't knowwho that is, you know? That is
(29:34):
Carmen Carrera.
The name sounds familiar. Iknow. I've heard it before.
Yes, just just go on Instagram.
She has like 500,000 followers.
She's like the number onetransgender woman in the world.
Like, it's just super Yeah, likeit's just like, wild and to see
like people are really seeing meand like making those
connections and having peoplehave high statues and stuff. Say
(29:58):
like you are doing a good jobwith it. Like, that's what I'm
running after I'm not reallyrunning after making self bros,
the next billion dollar company,even though that's in progress,
I just am after therelationships that I'm creating
and building those genuinefriendships, through everything
that I'm doing, and, andteaching people and motivating
(30:19):
people like, that's really,that's why I do it, it's not
about the money. And I thinkwhen you move like that in your
business, that's when you reallybecome successful, like when
you're when you're not worriedabout it. And that's why I'm
having such a hard time with theleap of faith because I don't
want to use my business moneybecause I've never used it
before. Unless my kids wantsomething extravagant or brand
(30:41):
new computers or somethingcrazy. I'll I'll drop $1,000 on
them, because I have it inthere. But I'm not going to
spend it on my bills, I'm notgoing to spend it on eating and
things like that. I use all mycareer money for that, because
that's why I work. But now Ihave to spend some of my self
bros money. So it's like, Idon't like to do that. Because I
look at it as such its ownentity rather than this is
(31:03):
actually my money, I've workedfor this, I cry over this every
day, people don't realize Ibelong in fetal position, a lot
of nights trying to figure outwhat I need to do next. Like,
they don't see that. But that'swhat that that's what it takes,
you know, I mean, that's, that'sjust what it is. So it's it's
pretty crazy. Still bruises,wild,
(31:23):
ya know, and, and the fact that,you know, you're kind of in this
and you're like, I don't evencare how much my This makes, I'm
just so proud of it. And it'smore about the connections and
all these things. That isexactly what you're saying.
That's what makes it grow. Andto that, to that end, I mean,
thank you for being vulnerableabout kind of how you're feeling
about this leap of faith period.
But, you know, I would look atit like this, you know, like,
(31:45):
it's great that for the mostpart, you only have to work
once, maybe twice a week. Butthat's still 12 to 24 hours if
you are not dedicating to selfbrothers. So yeah, it might feel
weird to have that money comingin and be you know, spending on
your bills and stuff. But it isit's part of making, it's part
of being more available to yourcommunity, it's part of being
(32:05):
able to have more time to comeup with other ideas and to have
more reach in to bring visitmore visibility into the trans
community in the struggles thatwe face, you know, and it's
almost like, it's almost likeself brothers. If you see it as
an entity that is in some wayseparate from you. It's like
your South brothers aresponsoring you to keep going
with your mission. And you douse that hashtag all the time
(32:29):
hashtag on a mission with yourworkout stuff with your with
your car tops, where you're kindof just distilling advice and
wisdom. And I asked you onetime, like, Why are you always
whispering in these, you'relike, I'm usually just coming
right out of a meditation when Ido this. So you're, you're
sharing all these differentparts of yourself? Hashtag on a
mission? What? What is thatmission? Exactly? I've been so
(32:49):
curious about that.
mission is to ultimate legacyand wealth for my
grandchildren's children. That'swhat
I mean, you gotta be paying thebills with stuff, brothers, if
you're gonna be, you know,building wealth and stuff like
that, right?
Yes, no, absolutely. And that's,I actually started on the
(33:11):
mission. I think it was back in2014, or 15, or 16. It's 2016. I
think 16 or 15. But I actually Iknow which post it is, I'll have
to go find it for you what afterthis call, but I, I was actually
(33:33):
at one of my old jobs. And Itold myself, I actually this was
when I few few months on T Ithink, and I really, I wasn't
really sure if I was gonna movein the whole stealth, like, I
didn't even have self broswasn't even a name in my mind at
that time. But I knew that Iwanted to create something
because I couldn't find anythingbut I wasn't putting in a focus
(33:54):
on it. So I was like, Okay, I'mgoing to further my career. And
this is when I was thinkingabout going on to do my rn. And
I was actually in collegefinishing up some of my
prerequisites and things of thatnature. And I said, I'm on a
mission because by the time I bythe time I hit 30 I wanted to be
secure in my nursing career. SoI told myself like, it was like
(34:17):
one day I took like a randomInstagram picture and I had put
on there like on a mission. Andlike ever since that day. I've
been on a mission. It's justlike ever since that day. I
don't know why I did it. I don'tknow what clicked in my mind.
But I knew that I had to go getit. I knew that I just had to
get it and I'm very like, big onvisions. And I've had like, a
(34:42):
permanent vision in my mind ofhow my life is and it I've had
it since I was little like superlittle. Like I just have these
visions and it's like, I can'tstop until I get that so one, I
was not even that I would stopbecause it's it's always going
to Keep going, but once I'vereached that point in my life,
(35:02):
then I'll know that okay, I'm Idid what God asked me to do. I
did it. So I know that I'm good.
Like, I know that I'll be goodby the end. But right now I'm
not there yet. I'm not thereyet.
What? What is that vision? Doyou mind sharing what that is?
that vision is it's it'sactually white pillars on a
(35:24):
home. It's actually whitepillars on a home. And yeah,
it's it's very like when I grewup, just so you have some
background story on the whitepillars. My mom used to take me
to open houses of multimilliondollar homes because I was
failing in school, I was doingreally, really bad and she took
(35:48):
me I don't know if you arefamiliar with Camden, New
Jersey, but it's probably one ofthe like, the worst places to
live next to like Trenton, NewJersey, it's a really bad high
crime area. So no, that's notwhere I'm from. She took care.
She took me there because I wasdoing so poorly in school, I was
doing so poorly. I was young, Iwas like an eighth grade or
(36:08):
something crazy. Um, but shetook me there. And she told me
to get out and walk. And thatwould be that and it put me in a
place where I didn't want to beit put me somewhere if I kept
not doing well. This is where Iwas going to be and then she put
me back in the car. And then shetook me to multimillion dollar
homes in Vorhees which isanother part of New Jersey,
(36:29):
which has a lot of beautifulmansions. So we went and we
would go inside these mansionsand we see these homes and all
these things. And she said, ifyou work hard enough, you can
have this but you have to work.
And it changed my life. Itchanged my life. And it showed
me what I could have. And if Iworked hard enough what I could
achieve and who I could be and alot of people are like, Oh,
(36:51):
well, you know, they think oh,you're just showing off if you
buy this and you buy that butyou know people who are wealthy
people who people who understandthe longevity of what it takes
to obtain a home with fourpillars like if you watch my ID
story, the Mayweather clip Ijust posted you'll see a home
that had four major pillars onit, which was beautiful as
probably like a $40 millionhouse. But either way, I just I
(37:12):
just knew that I just sawsomething in my mind just click
and it just said this is whereyou need to be like my mom would
put me in like Range Rovers andLamborghinis at the dealership
just to just to push push me andI was 12 years old, 14 years
old. I was young I was I didn'teven know but I knew that if I
(37:36):
worked hard that's the point I'mtrying to get I'm sorry. Was
that all these things like? YesOkay, you get rich you want to
buy a Lamborghini want to buy aG wagen all these great things
but you know, you're justshowing off but it's so much
deeper for me than that you knowhaving four pillars on my home
is not because I want to showyou that I own a $40 million
home it's it's it's a it's atrophy. You don't understand the
(37:59):
foundation I had to bill youdon't understand that. I'm
crying you don't understand howlate I stay up and how early I
wake up to make this happen. Forme to continue to do this and
having those pillars on my homewill be the ultimate trophy for
me. It'll be the ultimate trophywhen I'm running around in my G
(38:20):
wagen. NASA trophy I'm notrunning around to show you that
I have a G wagen. I'm runningaround the G wagen. Because I
earned this because I workedhard to get here. So that's
like, that's like kind of theperception that I work around.
But yeah, it's so deep. It's socrazy. But yeah, I don't want to
get too crazy on here. But it'sit's a very, very deep
(38:41):
meaningful thing for me toobtain certain things and not
because just to say I have itfor the status, but it's a
trophy. It's it really shows,you know the work that you put
in so when I see people that aregetting all these nice things,
I'm like damn, like they workedhard because I'm busting my ass.
And I'm not there yet. So I knowyou've worked hard I know what
(39:04):
it looks like behind thecurtains. You know, everyone
thinks my life is great onInstagram, which it is and I I
show the bad parts to sometimesbut they don't really know how
hard it gets. They don't theydon't understand that when I'm
waking up at 5am I'm crying.
There's there's days I'm cryingon the way to the gym. I am
(39:25):
literally in tears because Ijust I'm tired. I work hard
every day. I'm tired. I've beendoing this for five years
straight 365 24 seven every dayI've missed a day. I'm tired and
that's okay though. But I knowthat when I get to that point I
know that a breakthrough iscoming through and that's what I
(39:45):
try to teach people to thebreakfast card talk like it's
okay to be tired. It's okay tobe broken down. It's okay to do
that. But you can have a momentof rest if you need it. I
personally you know, you have toeveryone takes rest but some
people take too much rest. SoHave a moment, not a day a
moment, and then finish it.
Because once you accomplishthat,
(40:07):
the feelings that you have onthe inside of your body, and the
knowing that you can pullthrough even on your worst of
days will help you on that nextobstacle that you'll go through
because the obstacles neverstopped, they're going to
continue coming. So as long asyou can go over these obstacles
and do these things, it'snothing to that's why is nothing
for me, I will cry all day long.
Look at this, look at this. Lookat this. This is all sample
(40:32):
cereals, and everything, I willcry, I will cry through it all.
But I do it because I love it. Ilove it, I will cry through it,
I'll look through it. And it'llbe hard. I don't know what I'm
doing. I'll cry through it. ButI will make sure I get it done.
Because I know that once it'sdone, the feeling that I get is
more immense than crying for afew days. You know what I mean?
(40:56):
Not saying I cry all the time.
But I'm just saying, you know,it's okay. It's okay to cry,
it's okay to be broken downsometimes. But that's what it
takes to push the next level,you know what I mean? So,
yeah, and, and a lot of thatkind of comes down to like
trusting yourself, like the kindof like you said, like you like
knowing that you're going to beable to get it done, knowing
that you'll be able to kind oftake that foundation and get
(41:19):
yourself to the next level. And,you know, like, these are, these
are the words in this mission.
And Gosh, shout out to your momfor doing all that with you with
taking it to the to you know,where the where the your bottom
could end up. And then also, youknow, the heights that you could
store, I mean, and to do that toyou so young until like really
plant that into your head.
(41:39):
Because I think that is a thingwhere a lot of us are not
brought up understanding thatthat is possible and the how to
get there. And I really, youknow, having that foundation of
the community that kind ofpropped you up and understanding
all the way through that thisis, you know, that that the
(41:59):
community is what got you hereand the community is what's
going to get you through. Andand having this void kind of
filled for you like, how does itfeel to know as you're doing all
this stuff, as you're kind of,you know, like you said, crying
through it all, but knowing thatyou're on this mission and
knowing that you have yourcommunity has your back? What
does it feel like to know thatwhile you have this void, you
(42:22):
are now filling that void forother people, you are now the
big brother that other peopleare seeking out and and are
finding, right?
How does that feel? It feelsvery wild. Sometimes I don't. I
for I don't realize the impactthat I have until like the
(42:47):
messages come in. And they arevery frequent, which you know,
even just thinking about it inthis moment. It's like, yeah,
like, it's very wild. That'sreally all I can say. It's, it
means a lot to me. And it'slike, I I don't know, it's like,
(43:08):
I'm very happy. It's like, it'slike an overwhelming feeling
that doesn't have words. It'slike, I just want to always do
this like that. That's just kindof how that's like the words
that come to my mind when Ithink about like, when people
reach out to me, and they'relike, Oh, I need this so much.
And this is where I really needto hear today. Or like, Oh, I
(43:28):
got through TSA and I traveledall the way to Thailand with my
bag. And I felt so comfortableor, you know, like this, you
know, I talked to my doctor andthey told me they love this
product. Like, you know, justlittle things like that is like
is sometimes I'm like, Who areyou? Like? Like, like sometimes
(43:50):
I don't even realize like, It'sme, you know what I mean? Even
with my wife, she's like, youknow, that's your money. You
know, that's your business. It'snot self Bros. I'm like, I'm
still trying to make sure thatthat is, you know what I mean?
And it's very, it's very, it's,it's hard. It's weird. It's
(44:15):
cool. It's fun. It's so manydifferent things. It's so many
different things. But I stilleven to this day like I was on
the phone with one of thesupplier diversity is from
Kellogg company. And just toeven say that I'm just like, I
was like, what I mean, like,it's very wild. It's very wild.
(44:36):
Like even right now I'm in aprogram through CVS health for
executive learning, like whatlike what's great doing what and
that's the whole thing and I'mblown away I'm I'm blown away by
the own my own things that I'mdoing so it it's like I have out
of body experience. It's likenot me, but it is.
So it sounds like you despiteall the success you know
(44:58):
imposter syndrome. It's stillsomething that you deal with.
It's still a real thing.
It's a real thing. It's a wholething. Yeah, it's it's very,
it's very weird, but it's sofulfilling. And it makes me so
happy. And I know that in thosedays, I am really sad. It's
like, I'm not because I knowpeople are watching me. And I
(45:23):
know that they're looking for meto like, continue to feed them
with things that they need. Andthat motivates me to want to
keep doing it.
Yeah, it always comes back tothe community.
Yeah, it's like, I'm excited.
Like, even if I'm sad, I'm like,I know, I don't feel like doing
this, but I'm gonna crush itanyway. Because I know that I
have so many people looking atme. And I know that I
ultimately, I really like nowthat I have kids and stuff, like
(45:48):
what my wife and everything islike, they're watching me on
Instagram, they watch me they'renine and 11. They watch me. I
can't just be saying anythinganymore. You know what I mean? I
can't just doing anythinganymore. Like I have to. I
really, because you know, youcan talk to your kids all day,
like I talk to the kids all day,like you shouldn't be doing
(46:08):
this. You shouldn't be doingthat, like China's school them
and stuff like that. But whenthey watch me on Instagram
stories, they get to sit withthat, you know what I mean? They
get to really absorb what I'msaying. And you know, my
youngest, he always comes backto me, and he was like, brax,
you remember when you weresaying, blah, blah, blah. And
I'm like, you remember it? Like,you remember that? He and he
(46:31):
does, you know, I mean? So Iknow that. It's sticking in.
Like, I know that if he sees mepull through my hard days, just
like the other day, I wrotesomething on there, like a
couple paragraphs on myInstagram story. And they could
see, you know, they didn't knowI was having a bad day that day,
because I'm good. I show you I'mgood. You know what I mean? But
I'm letting them in a little bitto understand that, hey, you
(46:54):
know, I am moving forward. But Ihave a hard day too sometimes.
And that's okay. And they candigest that on their own. You
know what I mean? Yeah, and ithelps, it helps. So it's like,
all these little things, keepsme going to just continue trying
to be the best that I can plusmy father, I have a really great
dad, my dad is one of the bestdads ever. So like, trying to be
(47:16):
the man that he is like, I knowthat I have to continue to embed
I know I'm a little bit morecrazier than he is. But it's
like, He's such a great humanbeing like as a person that I
want to strive to be like that.
And I think that's what reallypushed my transition was that I
wanted to be a father, I reallywanted to be a father. I want it
(47:39):
to give my kids what my fathergave me. And I couldn't be a
mom, I couldn't I couldn't be amother. I didn't have that even
though I love my mom. But that'sjust who I was right? And having
my dad like, my dad's Also, I'mboth my parents were
entrepreneurs. So my dad was anentrepreneur as well. And every
(48:00):
day on the way to school becauseI actually was raised by my
father, I live with him majorityof my life. He used to always
try to figure out an inventionso that we didn't have to live
in New Jersey because we wantedto move to Florida my entire
life. He we need to he is toocold. So he would always say,
you know, it's the, it's thesimplest ideas that filled a
(48:21):
void that will make you rich.
And he said this to me 1000s oftimes as I was growing up
throughout middle school, highschool, whatever you want to
call it, because he would driveme to school every day. And that
was one of the things when Itold him about stealth bros the
initial before I even leteverybody know, he was like, are
you sure 300 bags is going to beenough. And I was like, Dad,
(48:43):
it's going to be I'm not goingto sell these things overnight,
blah, blah, blah. And he's like,I don't know. He said, what
you're doing people need thisand I'm like, Okay, yeah, and
that's like, it just like kindof went on from there. So yeah,
my story is crazy. There's justlike so many intricate pieces to
it. You know, I mean,absolutely. Because Yeah, that's
(49:03):
exactly it you you filled asimple need, you know, you
provided a safe space for peoplewho have to inject themselves,
whether they're trapped, I mean,starting with transmitted
testosterone, but whetherthey're also you know, diabetic
and things like that, justproviding a safe space for them
to put their needles. And it'sso interesting that you you
know, your dad was telling youthis from childhood and that
ended up being what you what youdid. So yeah, shout out to the
(49:26):
parents shout out to thecommunity. You know, we're just
about out of time. Is there isthere anything else that you'd
feel remiss if you left it out?
And is there anything that youwould like to promote?
No, I mean, I think we touchedbase on everything. And I think
the one thing we didn't talkabout was like my fitness. But I
(49:49):
really, you know, fitness is mystabilizer I would like to say
it's my meditation time. It'syour anchor in It's my anchor,
it's my anchor. Amen to that.
Yes, for sure. If I did not havethe gym, I would be wild as
hell. That's just to be honestwith you, because I would, I
(50:10):
would be way too overwhelmed. Iwould be just all over the place
with everything, it reallybuilds my confidence to like,
you know, I always telleverybody, you got to stop
caring what people think aboutyou, you got to just let that
go. And when I entered that, Ilet it all go. And then when I
come out of there, I'm like,like, right now I'm still
(50:31):
sweating from the gym, sweatingtalking to you, because I'm so
pumped. Like, I'm just sopumped, I had it, I had a great
start to my day, I went to thegym, I did what I had to do, you
know, I've been hitting all mymeetings, we're on time for
everything. I got anothermeeting at two o'clock,
everything is aligned,everything just boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom. And when Ihave that gym in the morning,
I'm ready, I can go all day, allnight, it doesn't matter. But
(50:54):
without that gym, I'm just notthe same. I'm just not the same
person. I just, I'm more angry.
I'm more irritable. I'm, youknow, I'm not given the love to
my family like I should. I'mmore focused on making money and
doing stupid shit. You know whatI mean? And my anchor down into
the gym, it brings me to a placewhere I can connect with God, I
(51:16):
can connect with my body, in mymind, and once I'm able to do
all of that for myself first.
That's why I like to go 5ambecause I like to start my day
for me, and God. And then once Iget that out the way that I can
handle everybody else'sproblems, because I handle
everybody else's problems allday long. Yeah. And that's a
lot. So is long as I take mytime for me first before the
(51:41):
kids before my wife beforeanybody, it's just me and God. I
think I can kill it. But if Idon't get that time, I might
kill you. Just kidding.
No, I mean, I think I thinkthat's real. Thank you for
sharing that. Thank you foradding that. Yeah, I mean,
that's a big common theme is theimportance of starting your day
just for you huge common themethat's come up on this show. So
(52:04):
I'm glad to hear that that'spart of your thing as well. But
yeah, I don't want to I don'twant to hold you up. I know you
got other stuff to do. Like Isaid, You are very busy. So
thank you so much for coming onto this show. I really
appreciate being able to chatwith you. And I loved hearing
more about your story and howinterwoven all of it is. I mean,
your life is a damn spider web.
I love it.
(52:24):
I'm telling you, I'm tellingyou. It's crazy. But and I
really appreciate you having meon. And it's always fun sharing
my story and getting it outthere. So I really appreciate
you creating a platform. And Ihope everybody enjoys it.
Thank you. Yeah, we'lldefinitely talk soon. Thank you.
Excellent.
(52:46):
All right, once again, that wasBraxton Fleming behind Braxton.
Thank you so much for coming onto the show. I got so fired up
listening back to thatconversation, when I was editing
the interview earlier today. AndI mean, it's several. Okay. So I
think that there's severalreally cool things that I wish I
could have breaking it down morewith Braxton, but you know, he
(53:08):
had to go. I think that it'sreally interesting that in the
beginning of the interview, heshared with us how he had this
relationship that ended and inthe breakup, you know, his ex
said that he wasn't doing enoughwith his life. And now here he
is talking about like, Oh, youcan take a moment of rest, but
(53:29):
not a day, just a moment. Andthen you get right back into the
hustle. You know what I mean? Heknew even during that break, he
knew that he was a go getter. Heknew that he was just putting
some of the puzzle piecestogether. And then once he kind
of figured out the directionthat he was going, he would hit
the ground running again. And Ithink it really just goes to
show that sometimes, you know,it might feel or even look on
(53:53):
the outside that we're not doinga lot with our lives. But it
could be that we're justfiguring out what direction we
need to go. I don't think thatit's good to be busy just for
the sake of being busy. Right?
When it's time to put the pedalto the metal, as they say, you
know, you'll be able to do that.
And that's exactly what Braxtondid. I mean, he knows exactly
(54:15):
what his vision is exactly whathis goal is. And he's not
letting anything get into theway. But if you don't know what
that vision is, why, why are yourunning around in circles? You
like a damn dog trying to chaseyour tail. You know, I also
thought it was very kind of himthat he let me say stuff
brothers the whole time insteadof self Bros. Listening back.
(54:38):
I'm like, Oh, we were not sayingthe same thing. So sorry about
that Braxton self Bros. It is agreat company. I actually I've
never had to like taketestosterone home and inject it
so I never really had a need forthe dopp kits. And I was really
excited when I saw that he cameout with a fanny pack because
(54:59):
I've kind of been wild For awhile, and I bought one, so
yeah, and there's there'susually a parallel on there too.
So you know if you're someonewho really got excited about the
mission of stealth Burrows, butyou don't necessarily have a
need for a dopp kit, you know,check out their website Anyway,
you might find some cool stuffon there and give him a follow.
(55:20):
We did we ran out of time beforewe could talk about his you
know, the stuff that he wantedto promote but I talked to him a
little bit after the interviewand he just wants you to follow
Him and follow stealth bro. So Iput the links to all that into
the show notes. Braxton is sirebrax on Instagram and tik tok
(55:40):
stealth bros is just stealth broco on Facebook, Instagram and
tik tok, he puts out really goodstuff on both platforms. Check
it all out. You know, like Isaid he is
he's just a great example ofwhat it looks like when you have
an idea of what your purpose isand the direction you want to
(56:02):
go. And moving forward with it.
And I really appreciate that heled us into the the more human
side of that, that that he doesstill experience imposter
syndrome. In some days, he he'scrying because he doesn't want
to do this, you know, like,that's as real, that is real
life right there. You know, andI just I love to what he said at
(56:22):
the end there about the the gymand being in the flow. I mean,
he didn't say being in the flow.
That's what I heard listeningback to this, you know, he said,
he goes to the gym, it's hisanchor, you know, he's able to
just not care what anyone thinksand and put it all out there.
And then he comes back andeverything is just in perfect
(56:43):
alignment. And his meetings aregoing smoothly and and he's
locked in with his family andhis community. You know, that
anchor can look like a lot ofdifferent things for a lot of
different people. But whateverit is, I hope that you're able
to find something like that.
And, you know, hey, again, ifanything that you heard here
resonated with you, you know,leave us a five star rating a
(57:06):
written review, you know, hit meup on Instagram or tik tok. Let
me know what you liked about theshow. Take a screenshot make it
your Instagram story. Again, I'mall about connection. I try to
every once in a while, you know,post questions on my Instagram
stories, you just getconversations going because and
hey, half of the time when I'mputting out these these
(57:29):
questions, I don't even reallyknow where I stand on these
things because they get weirdand philosophical Like, right
now I'm I'm debating whether ornot we changes people at all, or
if we just evolve more and moreand become more transformed
versions of who we always were,which now that I say that out
loud. I'm like, does this evenmake sense? I don't know. But
(57:51):
let's have a conversation. Andyeah, thank you for being on
this journey with me. I'll seeyou next week. Stay evolving.
Hello, and welcome to anotherepisode of the Leo Yockey show,
the podcast where I, Leo Yockeyinterview guests about how their
unique life path led them todefine success and fulfillment.
The goal? You know, I've beensaying for a while that the goal
is to provide us some relief forour existential dread, but I
(00:37):
don't really think that's it.
You know, it's a nice sideeffect sometimes. But what's
really happening here is we'recreating connection. You know,
it's not every day that we getto really stop and think about
how we got to where we are, andhow the communities that we
built or been a part of, or therandom experiences that we've
(00:59):
had, the people that have comein and out of our lives, and the
the training that we've had, itall culminates to where we are
today, each of us asindividuals, and I love being
able to have conversations withguests where, you know, one, or
both of us says, oh, whoa, like,I've never thought about it this
(01:21):
way. And and I know because Iknow how it works when we're all
connected. If one of us ishaving that moment, then y'all
or at least some of y'all areprobably having to listening to
this show. And, you know, Ireally think that that's what
life is all about. We've hadpeople on this show from all
(01:41):
over the world, we've had peopleon this show from all kinds of
different vocations, andinterests. And there's still a
few things that always come upevery single episode. community
is really, really important.
There's usually some sort ofhint, where the thing that we're
(02:04):
doing right now, we've kind ofbeen preparing for it our whole
lives, even if we didn't knowwhat we were doing. And no
matter how successful we are, nomatter how much we've
accomplished, there's still someimposter syndrome that comes in.
Because at the end of the day,as much as things change, things
(02:25):
still also stay the same. Youknow, no matter what I
experience in life, I'm stillthe kid from Lancaster,
California, that doesn't reallyknow what direction his life is
going in, you know, I'm stillthe kid that thinks that every
new experience that I have is agift. And you know, I still want
(02:45):
to enjoy everything to the max.
And I still think that there'sso much to learn, and there's so
much to explore. And that nevergoes away. You know, there's
there's certain things that nomatter how much things change,
they all stay the same. And nomatter how random and
unconnected things seem, themore that when we really look at
(03:07):
our lives. It's kind of thespider web, you know what I
mean? Like this beautiful web ofconnections and inter woven
experiences. And I think thatall of that is really cool. And
I don't think that we talk aboutit enough, especially now, when
we can really do anything thatwe want, you know, the The world
(03:29):
is changing, and for the better,in my opinion, arbitrary
barriers to entries are comingdown in countless industries now
that we can do anything. Thereal question is, who do we want
to be? Yeah, I've, I'vementioned in previous episodes,
(03:50):
that this has been a greatanchor for me, as I navigate
through change in my life. Andit really is, it is an honor and
a privilege to be able to createand host the space where these
conversations are happening. Youknow, it's real talk about real
life from real people doing realthings. And honestly, I think
(04:12):
that's real cool. Anyway, myguest today is someone that I've
really admired from a distancefor a long time and, you know,
talk about an honor and aprivilege. It was just, it's so
cool to be able to have thisspace where I can be like, hey,
person I've admired let's talk,and they say, okay, you know, I
(04:36):
don't I don't want to give toomuch away, but Braxton Fleming,
you know, he's the founder andCEO of a company called stealth,
stealth Bros. and coit's really cool how again, you
know, the barriers are comingdown, and he he provided a
solution for Something that ourcommunity, our community as, as
(05:00):
transgender men really needed,and, you know, back before the
internet, the ability to createthis product to market it to the
right people to find a bigenough community to be able to
market it and turn this into aprofitable business. It just
wouldn't have been possiblebefore. You know, that's the
(05:21):
thing, it doesn't matter howhard you work, if if the world
isn't ready, if theinfrastructure isn't there, it's
just not there. But now thatit's here, you know, go getters,
like Braxton are able to bringsolutions that you know,
initially was just for thetransgender community, but it's,
it's helping people with allkinds of medical needs. And I
(05:43):
think that that's really cool.
Can you hear my cat scratchingin the background? I hope not.
I've had to record this so manytimes already. And now my cat is
in his litter box scratching atthe wall. That is that is great.
You know what? I'm gonna takethat as a sign to bring you over
(06:04):
to the conversations theinterview. Hey, if you like what
you're hearing, yeah, tag us onInstagram, take a screenshot of
this, make it your Instagramstory. You know, a five star
written review goes a reallylong way. I mean, that's
basically currency in thisworld, if you want to support
the show, those are some greatways to do it. let your friends
(06:27):
know that you're into it, anddiscuss it with them. You know,
what, what, what do you think isinteresting? What did anything
provide an aha moment for you?
You know, like I said, I lovecreating moments of connection.
So you know, share this withpeople start a conversation. And
you might be surprised where itleads you. Anyway, here's
(06:47):
Braxton.
Braxton. How are you doingtoday? I'm doing good, man. How
are you? I'm doing good. I'mdoing good. I was just saying
off mic or off recording, Iguess it's zoom. So I have to
(07:07):
use my mic. But I was justsaying how excited I was to
finally meet you, you aresomeone that, you know, I've
been following on Instagramsince really early on in my
transition, and to kind of seeboth your personal growth and
the growth of your business hasbeen, I mean, I'm just gonna say
it's been really inspirationalfor me on my path. So I
appreciate you coming onto theshow and sharing your story.
(07:31):
Thank you. Thank you so muchthat that really means a lot to
me. And I'm excited to be here.
Yeah, absolutely. So for thelisteners who are less familiar
with you than I am, you know,who is Braxton Fleming, you
know, when you when you'reintroducing yourself to people,
you know, what are what's kindof like your elevator pitch for
yourself.
Okay, so my name is BraxtonFleming. I'm 32 years old. I'm
(07:55):
the CEO and founder of a companycalled stealth brozen. Co, which
is a luxury dopp kit companythat provides home and travels
storage for all of your medicalinjectable needs. And yeah,
that's pretty much it. And I'malso a licensed practical nurse
for the past who were going on12 years and January. So yeah,
(08:20):
that's that's pretty pretty muchabout me, um, you know, just
trying to be more involvedwithin our community as always
trying to make a difference andjust showing up for everybody
every day. That's, that's mymain goal.
Yeah, that's awesome. I lovethat. I didn't know that you had
been a nurse for that long. Soyou if I'm doing my math, right,
you became a nurse when you werelike 1920 years old.
Was that correct? Yes, that'scorrect. That's correct. I
(08:43):
actually was in nursing schoolwhen I was eight. Teen yet no,
yeah, go 18. Gone is 19. And Igraduated a year later. And
then, like, a couple monthsafter that, I passed my boards
and I've been working as a nurseever since.
That's really interesting. Ifind that really interesting.
Just because the path that we goon as, as trans people is really
(09:08):
anybody who has to really figureout who they are, you know, to
kind of have a career and stickwith it through all of that
consistently is. I mean, it'sthe exact opposite of what I've
been doing. But it seems likethe opposite of what a lot of
people have done from what I'veseen, so like, what, what what
(09:28):
led you to nursing initially,um, honestly, I wanted to be a
plastic surgeon, initially,because when I was growing up my
mother, she said that too muchcartoons and everything was too
much. So every day we would haveto watch, specifically me, but
every day I would have to watchsomething educational on TV and
(09:51):
what I used to gravitate to wasback in the day, way back when
there was something calleddiscovery health like you have
Every channel but there used tobe something called discovery
health, which is now by obrah.
But discovery health would haveso many different things on with
like, just so many differentthings I was just really
attracted to like the medicalfield. I liked watching, I liked
(10:13):
surgery, I just like theconnection with the patients. I
liked seeing I like helping andthen seeing the results. And as
I got older, I realized thatbeing a plastic surgeon was a
lot of work. It was a lot ofschooling. And when I was in
college, um, you know, obviouslyI wanted to make money and
things of that nature. So Iactually ended up saying, you
(10:34):
know what, I'm going to just goto the trade school and get my
LPN as a licensed practicalnurse, and then I'll work my way
up from there. So my goal was tooriginally be a licensed
practical nurse, and then get myRn and then focalize and like
anesthesia, and then actually bein a war room consistently. That
was the goal then. And as Iprogressed, in my nursing
(10:55):
career, I realized that thatwasn't it because my life was
changing. I was changing. I justdidn't. I like I still love
nursing, but it's just not mypath. But I needed to do it in
order for me to get right innow. So it's like when I always
talk about stealth bros, andlike how stealth bros was
(11:16):
created. People always ask melike, you know what, what led
you here, and I always say thatstealth bros is not just my
business, it's my life. Itliterally is my life. Because
everything that I went through,is what has brought me to where
I am right now. And if it wasn'tfor those circumstances, and
everything that I've learned,then I wouldn't have been able
(11:37):
to apply myself like I am nowwith my business. So it's like,
it's like a life's path. I guessyou could say like, that's how I
just look at it. Like, thenursing is necessary for me to
run stealth Bros. It wasnecessary for me to do I still
do it. But part time not fulltime anymore.
You're a part time nurse now.
Yes, yes. So I work part timenursing now that I'm actually in
(12:01):
the middle of a leap of faithright now, like the past couple
months, I've like back down onmy nursing hours, and I pick up
I need to pick up and then I youknow if I have to work more if I
feel like I need to work more,or get some for my kids or
something, then I'll put theextra hours in. And I'll just
work the double time like I'vebeen doing the past five years.
But I'm trying to lean more onthe business because we've been
(12:24):
doing really well. So I'm likein between of like, some weeks,
I may work, I may work. Two orthree days, I worked 12 hour
shifts. So I might work two orthree days one week, which is
full time. But days on my onlywork one day a week. So it just
depends on how my schedule islooking what my month is looking
like. It just it just depends.
But I'm in that middle stage oftrying to stop working full time
(12:47):
as a nurse and then working fulltime only on my business. So
yeah, it's it's hard. But that'swhat growth is. It's hard growth
is hard.
Yeah, that's really cool.
Congratulations on being in thislike leap of faith period that
was actually going to be one ofmy questions. Because there are,
there are pros and cons to both.
And I you know, I've had otherpeople on the show who have
(13:10):
businesses who have like,intentionally kept it part time
because there's, there'sdifferent freedoms that come
from your business, being parttime and keeping your full time
job and not having to make youknow, some and I guess is
different, especially if yourbusiness is a creative one, you
know, because it's like you canmake decisions that aren't
necessarily the best formarketing or whatever. So, but
(13:32):
that's really cool that you'reable to like, take this full
time. So you said you said youneed you kind of you know that
experience of nursing has helpedyou with stuff, brothers, is it?
Do you mean that in like areally, really practical sense,
like being a nurse and workingwith needles helps me figure out
the best products for stealthbrothers? Or do you just mean
(13:53):
there's something about, likethe work ethic behind being a
nurse that is helping you likegrind as an entrepreneur? Or is
it a little bit of both?
I think it's a little bit ofboth. But I really think that
like my assessment skills iswhat led me to realize that
there was a void. And that iswhat was able to say, hey, look,
(14:14):
I know about these sharpscontainers I know about these
needles and the sizes and allthese things. So you know, I
need somewhere to places so whynot create something for us all
to place it and just from like,binge watching YouTube when I
first started transitioning iswhat really made me make that
general assessment that nobodyhad anywhere to place their tea,
(14:37):
like it was in shoe boxes. Itwas all over the place. And I
was like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, thisis a big No, no, like, people
are just like throwing theirneedles around and they don't
know what the hell to do withthis. So I said let me come in
here and fix that. So so sopretty much that's what happens.
You know, that's I was justmaking a general assessment on
everybody as I'm watching theirvideos indirectly. You know what
(14:58):
I mean? It wasn't like, I'm likespecifically trying to find an
issue. But as I started, like,my wheels start to turn on like,
yo, nobody has anywhere to puttheir stuff like what's going on
here. And when I went to thestore for my stuff, I really
didn't have nothing. So I'mlike, Okay, well, let me try to
figure out what I can do. And Iactually had this idea for like,
literally, since I was like,three or four months on T, and
(15:21):
then I didn't start thisbusiness until, like, a year on
T. Yeah, like a year and onemonth on T. And then that's when
I actually started the businessand, like, started to push it
in, like, you know, a few monthsprior to that. I was like, you
know, getting all my T's anddotting my eyes and things like
that. But yeah, it was, it's,that's why I always tell people,
it's a life path. Because it's,it's not one thing that led me
(15:43):
to creating self Bros. It'slike, it's my life has led me
here, all the things that I'vebeen through, you know, pushed
me to start the business and todo what I do, you know?
Yeah, I love that. There's,there's a couple of things there
that I love, actually. I mean, Ilove that. I love the idea that
you're over here, you know,because, you know, like, you
(16:05):
work a job. And then you seethat job portrayed on TV. And
you're like, this is never howthat would go, you know what I
mean? Like, like, EMTs willwatch like, the, the medical
dramas is like, This isn't howit just goes. And so you're
you're watching these YouTubevideos, and you're watching
these people, you know, kind ofmishandle their needles, and
you're like, you're likepractically ripping your hair
(16:25):
like, What are you guys doing?
And you and you see this need?
i? And I think that that lendsitself exactly what you're
saying, like no experience evergoes wasted. And I think that
that's so cool that you wereable to kind of like, put those
things together. But so you havethat idea. When you were three
months on T you started when youwere a year on T i saw
somewhere, I think in adifferent interview that she did
(16:46):
or something that stealthbrothers was initially started
as like a top surgery fundraiserfor you. So do you Yes,
yes, it was I actually. So whileI was going through my
transition, obviously, I wasworking as a nurse, but I was
like, I'm tired of this. I don'tfeel like putting OT and I could
definitely put ot in and justpaid for my surgery. But I
(17:08):
didn't want to do that. BecauseI felt at this point in my time.
I mean, I still do feel thisway. But I felt so connected to
the community because I felt sorelieved once I realized, like
that missing link in my life.
Because years prior to mytransition, I was feeling this
void. I was telling everybody,my family, I don't know what's
wrong with me. Like, I'm tryingto figure this out. And once I
connected with the transgendercommunity through YouTube, I was
(17:32):
like, these are my people like,this is my APR, you know what I
mean. And when I was watchingall the YouTube videos, not only
was I assessing everybody, but Iwas also seeing who was like, I
don't want to say the mostpopular but I was watching those
guys who were obviously gettinga lot of attention because they
were really showing a lot oftheir transitions. They were
(17:55):
really being open with the worldand sharing their stories. And
some of these guys hadbusinesses and they were running
apparel companies and things andI'm like, oh man, they're
helping they're making money toget top surgery. I'm like, maybe
there's something I can do forthe community too. So like, all
these things were like rollingin my head. So as these things
are all in my head, I was alsoon Instagram making
(18:18):
relationships because we'rereaching out to I'm reaching out
to other trans men. I'm liketalking about my beard growth.
And like I got four hairs here.
Like it's making that genuineconnection. And throughout the
first year of my transition, Ilike just talked to everybody. I
just talked to everybody becausewe were all kind of going
(18:40):
through the same thing. Therewas a lot of guys started tea
when I was starting tea. So itwas like a sense of community.
And then once I was able to sayI actually went through a
breakup before I started mybusiness because I really get it
pushed me to start the businessmy breakup because sorry, this
is kind of like crazy, cuzthere's just so many things that
(19:02):
are involved. But yeah, no, Ilove it. My breakup. I was with
this woman for like, I think itwas seven years at this time. We
were together for 10 years. Butyeah, we were together for like
seven years at this time. And webroke up because she was telling
me I wasn't doing anything andall this shit. And I'm like,
bro, I'm gonna go get her like Istopped my life nursing and
(19:23):
furthering my career in nursingso I could help you further your
career in nursing and I stoppedmy life and now I'm moving for
my life in my transition, andI'm going through all these
changes. You know, it was a lotfor her it was for me, but
either way I ended up moving outof that house and I moved back
into my dad's house. And at thatpoint, I said, You know what, I
(19:44):
can't curse but I'll just saybig fu to everybody. Oh, you can
curse on this show. If that'swhat you're just say, you know,
big fu to everybody. And I saidI am somebody I can use. I've
been a go getter since I wasborn like I was born. So I just
focus I had so much more time.
So I wasn't worried about awoman, I was just focused on me.
(20:05):
So I was doing homecare Nursingat the time. And I was taking
care of a six month old baby whohad issues going on. And I had
12 hours in this woman's houseand 10 out of those 12 The baby
was sleep. So I would becomputer research and research
and research and, and, you know,talking to everybody, and then
(20:25):
once I came up with a product, Ihad the samples, I had
everything kind of emotion. Ireached out to all the people I
had made connections with overthat past year and said, Hey, do
you want this product? Andthey're like, yeah, I want this
product. I'm like, Okay, cool.
If you like it, repost it. Ifyou don't, you don't. Yeah, and
people's reposting it likecrazy. But I'm trying to get
(20:48):
back to your question. I'msorry. Because like, I get
excited. I'm like sweating. Ilove it.
But the the top surgery was, Ifigured, okay, I will create
this for my top surgery, andI'll get it, I'll sell like 300
bags a year. And I'll get mylittle bit of money. And I can
put that towards my top surgery.
But after like the first month,and I sold out of like all the
(21:10):
products, I realized at thatmoment that people really liked
this. And then people were like,I need a smaller one. So then
like six months later, I cameout with the junior DOP. And
then once the junior DOP cameout, it was like it was on like,
it was crazy, because everybodywas this is really what I need
to, like, keep my stufftogether. So after that, I just
(21:30):
kept dropping collections,dropping collections. And then
the whole first year, I made agood amount of money. But I put
all my money into the topsurgery fund because I said, I'm
gonna raise money for myself,but I can't have this money, if
it isn't for my community, likethis business was built on the
(21:50):
foundation of them. So I have togive something back as well. So
I was taking 15% of the profits,which was just too much at that
time. But I didn't know becauseI was just doing this. I didn't
know what the hell I was doing.
But anyway, I saved a shitloadof money. And I said, Okay, I'm
going to give all this money tothis guy. And the profits I had,
I didn't really have anyprofits, because all the
(22:12):
expenses and photography,content payments and everything
else that involves running abusiness, I didn't have the
money, but I had this 2500sitting in my savings account
from all the 15% that I tookaway. So I gave it away. So I
didn't get my top surgery thatfirst year it was it wasn't
until actually, the second yearof still rose, I was actually
able to apply for credit. Andthen I paid off my top surgery
(22:37):
literally like I think beginningof June, January this past year,
like I just finished playing.
Yeah, thank you. But and so thepros paid for that they paid for
that monthly payment, which wasamazing. So I didn't have to
come from my own pocket to paythat. But it just, it's just
like and that's why like I sayit's my life because it's like
one thing happened at it's like,all these little things just
(22:58):
we're happening in the momentsof moving forward. And now, it's
like not only do we serve thetransgender community, but now
we're like hitting majorpharmaceutical companies of
diabetics and insulin companiesthat actually need this product.
There's IVF clients that like touse this product. There's stud
masculinize lesbians that liketo put their tampons in here. I
(23:21):
mean, you can really use it forso many different reasons. But I
want to keep it a medical luxurycompany because there's really
no other medical luxury companydopp kit that's out there right
now. So I want to keep it likethat. So people know that hey,
look, you're not looked at somuch but I'm looking at you I'm
here for you. I'm going tosupport you through something
(23:44):
that always isn't the greatestexperience you know, I mean,
giving yourself an injectionalways isn't the greatest
experience that comes with a lotof anxiety. So if you can
something that looks good andmakes you feel good on your
dresser everyday then it's okaytake that shot it's okay to do
that every day or once a week orbi weekly or monthly or however
you need to take it you knowwhat I mean? So yeah, I talked a
(24:04):
lot sorry butit goes great I really love how
how interconnected all this isright you know, cuz it's like
you I can fully relate to thatfeeling the void in the in the
community and meeting thecommunity and kind of feeling
like after transitioning andmeeting this online community
being like, this is it these aremy people. And I love that, you
(24:27):
know, like you were able to kindof pour back into the community
and still kind of have the topsurgery paid off. I think that's
fantastic. And honestly, I thinkwhat you're saying about that
breakup really kind of goes backto what we were saying before we
hit record you know, because youyou are obviously this huge go
getter. I mean you became anurse practically straight out
(24:50):
of high school, like you'redoing all that you're you're
essentially building communityand doing market research kind
of simultaneously Almostsubconsciously, because it's
just so ingrained into who youare to be a Dewar, I know you've
been on a big fitness journey,we'll probably be able to talk
about that in just a minute. Butum, you know, your, your ex, you
know, was kind of saying, youknow, in this breakup, like,
(25:14):
you're not doing enough, and blabla bla bla bla. And I think
that that really kind of goesback to what I was saying
before, where our ideas ofsuccess and our ideas of kind of
figuring out who you are, inthis society is really white
centric, Sis, gender centric,you know, hetero normative, all
these things. And when you don'tfit into that, your path into
(25:36):
being a Dewar and living yourpath or in living, your truth is
going to look a lot different.
And there are periods where it'sgoing to feel and even look on
the outside, like, you're notdoing enough. But like, look at
where you've ended up betweennow and however many years ago
that was, you know, like youwere, from what I can tell from
(25:58):
you know, and this is obviously,like, I'm basing this off of
your online persona, a peekbehind the curtain for the
listeners, this is my first timeactually having a conversation
with braxted, ever. But you'revery busy. I mean, I do not
imagine that anybody would saynow that you're not doing enough
that you're not to do or youknow, but it's like, we have to
have those periods of kind ofputting the puzzle pieces in
(26:19):
place. And because the pathisn't so clear and obvious and
kind of laid out ahead of us,for us by society, it does take
time, you know, what I mean?
Like is that that totally makessense that that, you know,
that's that not everybody isgoing to be able to understand
that. But, you know, as long asyou got it, and you understood
it, and you knew you knew thepath, like I said before, like
(26:40):
your story, you're the onlyperson that has to buy it,
you're the only one that has tolike, live it and feel it. And
as long as you live in and feelit doesn't matter what anybody
else is saying, because you knowwhat your truth is?
Yeah, it's so true, I actually,I really want to pull my old Mac
up, because it has a video onthere. And it's when I received
(27:01):
the first samples of the JRdopps. And I recorded myself
opening the bags, because I wasreally excited about because I
had read in the dimensionsnumerous times, I had read the
material numerous times. Sogetting these official ones that
I was gonna really start to sellmeant a lot to me. And I was
(27:23):
like crying on the video. AndI'm like, I don't give a shit.
Who doesn't love these, Ilove this so much. I'm
like, I love these so much thatI didn't care if they sold or
not, I just, I was so happy withthe work that I put into it that
I told myself, I don't care,like I don't care if they don't
sell like, it doesn't matter.
Like I just really love these somuch. And, you know, I think
(27:45):
having that, you know, just forlike other young entrepreneurs
or anyone who's just startingout in their business, you know,
a lot of people want to start abusiness nowadays, because
they're like, Oh, I want to makemy own money. Like, everything
is wrong around the finances.
And that was a that wassomething that I learned very
early on, which I don't know howI knew. But, you know, like I
(28:08):
said, it's my life path. So Godjust placed that in front of me.
So I don't know, but you can'tbuild a business off of wanting
to create money. Like Iobviously, I wanted to raise
money for my top surgery. But Iwanted to I had passion behind
this I I wanted to be more partof that community more than
(28:28):
anything. And that's why when Ihad that first 20 $500 I didn't
care, because I was already I'malready making $30 an hour as a
nurse, I don't care if I didn'tget that 20 $500 I already have
my own money from my career. Soyeah, I was just so happy that I
could say, Hey, you know, I canhelp this person like, and so
many people helped me up intothat point that it was just
(28:51):
like, I want to do this, I wantto do this. I want to do this.
You know what I mean? And that'spretty much I feel like what has
pushed my business so far,because it's not really about,
oh, I'm making X amount ofdollars every month off self
Bros. It's like, Who am I goingto meet next? That's gonna push
me to the next level. Like I'mmore excited about talking to
somebody like having thispodcast and someone who's the
(29:13):
one person that I need to hearthis to take me to the next
level. Yeah, that is what I'mexcited about. You know what I
mean? I don't care about if Imake $1. Or if I get four orders
off of this shown on yourFacebook or your Instagram. I
don't care about that I careabout who am I going to meet
next like Carmen carerra justlike five of my pictures on
Instagram. Like, I don't knowwho that is, you know? That is
(29:34):
Carmen Carrera.
The name sounds familiar. Iknow. I've heard it before.
Yes, just just go on Instagram.
She has like 500,000 followers.
She's like the number onetransgender woman in the world.
Like, it's just super Yeah, likeit's just like, wild and to see
like people are really seeing meand like making those
connections and having peoplehave high statues and stuff. Say
(29:58):
like you are doing a good jobwith it. Like, that's what I'm
running after I'm not reallyrunning after making self bros,
the next billion dollar company,even though that's in progress,
I just am after therelationships that I'm creating
and building those genuinefriendships, through everything
that I'm doing, and, andteaching people and motivating
(30:19):
people like, that's really,that's why I do it, it's not
about the money. And I thinkwhen you move like that in your
business, that's when you reallybecome successful, like when
you're when you're not worriedabout it. And that's why I'm
having such a hard time with theleap of faith because I don't
want to use my business moneybecause I've never used it
before. Unless my kids wantsomething extravagant or brand
(30:41):
new computers or somethingcrazy. I'll I'll drop $1,000 on
them, because I have it inthere. But I'm not going to
spend it on my bills, I'm notgoing to spend it on eating and
things like that. I use all mycareer money for that, because
that's why I work. But now Ihave to spend some of my self
bros money. So it's like, Idon't like to do that. Because I
look at it as such its ownentity rather than this is
(31:03):
actually my money, I've workedfor this, I cry over this every
day, people don't realize Ibelong in fetal position, a lot
of nights trying to figure outwhat I need to do next. Like,
they don't see that. But that'swhat that that's what it takes,
you know, I mean, that's, that'sjust what it is. So it's it's
pretty crazy. Still bruises,wild,
(31:23):
ya know, and, and the fact that,you know, you're kind of in this
and you're like, I don't evencare how much my This makes, I'm
just so proud of it. And it'smore about the connections and
all these things. That isexactly what you're saying.
That's what makes it grow. Andto that, to that end, I mean,
thank you for being vulnerableabout kind of how you're feeling
about this leap of faith period.
But, you know, I would look atit like this, you know, like,
(31:45):
it's great that for the mostpart, you only have to work
once, maybe twice a week. Butthat's still 12 to 24 hours if
you are not dedicating to selfbrothers. So yeah, it might feel
weird to have that money comingin and be you know, spending on
your bills and stuff. But it isit's part of making, it's part
of being more available to yourcommunity, it's part of being
(32:05):
able to have more time to comeup with other ideas and to have
more reach in to bring visitmore visibility into the trans
community in the struggles thatwe face, you know, and it's
almost like, it's almost likeself brothers. If you see it as
an entity that is in some wayseparate from you. It's like
your South brothers aresponsoring you to keep going
with your mission. And you douse that hashtag all the time
(32:29):
hashtag on a mission with yourworkout stuff with your with
your car tops, where you're kindof just distilling advice and
wisdom. And I asked you onetime, like, Why are you always
whispering in these, you'relike, I'm usually just coming
right out of a meditation when Ido this. So you're, you're
sharing all these differentparts of yourself? Hashtag on a
mission? What? What is thatmission? Exactly? I've been so
(32:49):
curious about that.
mission is to ultimate legacyand wealth for my
grandchildren's children. That'swhat
I mean, you gotta be paying thebills with stuff, brothers, if
you're gonna be, you know,building wealth and stuff like
that, right?
Yes, no, absolutely. And that's,I actually started on the
(33:11):
mission. I think it was back in2014, or 15, or 16. It's 2016. I
think 16 or 15. But I actually Iknow which post it is, I'll have
to go find it for you what afterthis call, but I, I was actually
(33:33):
at one of my old jobs. And Itold myself, I actually this was
when I few few months on T Ithink, and I really, I wasn't
really sure if I was gonna movein the whole stealth, like, I
didn't even have self broswasn't even a name in my mind at
that time. But I knew that Iwanted to create something
because I couldn't find anythingbut I wasn't putting in a focus
(33:54):
on it. So I was like, Okay, I'mgoing to further my career. And
this is when I was thinkingabout going on to do my rn. And
I was actually in collegefinishing up some of my
prerequisites and things of thatnature. And I said, I'm on a
mission because by the time I bythe time I hit 30 I wanted to be
secure in my nursing career. SoI told myself like, it was like
(34:17):
one day I took like a randomInstagram picture and I had put
on there like on a mission. Andlike ever since that day. I've
been on a mission. It's justlike ever since that day. I
don't know why I did it. I don'tknow what clicked in my mind.
But I knew that I had to go getit. I knew that I just had to
get it and I'm very like, big onvisions. And I've had like, a
(34:42):
permanent vision in my mind ofhow my life is and it I've had
it since I was little like superlittle. Like I just have these
visions and it's like, I can'tstop until I get that so one, I
was not even that I would stopbecause it's it's always going
to Keep going, but once I'vereached that point in my life,
(35:02):
then I'll know that okay, I'm Idid what God asked me to do. I
did it. So I know that I'm good.
Like, I know that I'll be goodby the end. But right now I'm
not there yet. I'm not thereyet.
What? What is that vision? Doyou mind sharing what that is?
that vision is it's it'sactually white pillars on a
(35:24):
home. It's actually whitepillars on a home. And yeah,
it's it's very like when I grewup, just so you have some
background story on the whitepillars. My mom used to take me
to open houses of multimilliondollar homes because I was
failing in school, I was doingreally, really bad and she took
(35:48):
me I don't know if you arefamiliar with Camden, New
Jersey, but it's probably one ofthe like, the worst places to
live next to like Trenton, NewJersey, it's a really bad high
crime area. So no, that's notwhere I'm from. She took care.
She took me there because I wasdoing so poorly in school, I was
doing so poorly. I was young, Iwas like an eighth grade or
(36:08):
something crazy. Um, but shetook me there. And she told me
to get out and walk. And thatwould be that and it put me in a
place where I didn't want to beit put me somewhere if I kept
not doing well. This is where Iwas going to be and then she put
me back in the car. And then shetook me to multimillion dollar
homes in Vorhees which isanother part of New Jersey,
(36:29):
which has a lot of beautifulmansions. So we went and we
would go inside these mansionsand we see these homes and all
these things. And she said, ifyou work hard enough, you can
have this but you have to work.
And it changed my life. Itchanged my life. And it showed
me what I could have. And if Iworked hard enough what I could
achieve and who I could be and alot of people are like, Oh,
(36:51):
well, you know, they think oh,you're just showing off if you
buy this and you buy that butyou know people who are wealthy
people who people who understandthe longevity of what it takes
to obtain a home with fourpillars like if you watch my ID
story, the Mayweather clip Ijust posted you'll see a home
that had four major pillars onit, which was beautiful as
probably like a $40 millionhouse. But either way, I just I
(37:12):
just knew that I just sawsomething in my mind just click
and it just said this is whereyou need to be like my mom would
put me in like Range Rovers andLamborghinis at the dealership
just to just to push push me andI was 12 years old, 14 years
old. I was young I was I didn'teven know but I knew that if I
(37:36):
worked hard that's the point I'mtrying to get I'm sorry. Was
that all these things like? YesOkay, you get rich you want to
buy a Lamborghini want to buy aG wagen all these great things
but you know, you're justshowing off but it's so much
deeper for me than that you knowhaving four pillars on my home
is not because I want to showyou that I own a $40 million
home it's it's it's a it's atrophy. You don't understand the
(37:59):
foundation I had to bill youdon't understand that. I'm
crying you don't understand howlate I stay up and how early I
wake up to make this happen. Forme to continue to do this and
having those pillars on my homewill be the ultimate trophy for
me. It'll be the ultimate trophywhen I'm running around in my G
(38:20):
wagen. NASA trophy I'm notrunning around to show you that
I have a G wagen. I'm runningaround the G wagen. Because I
earned this because I workedhard to get here. So that's
like, that's like kind of theperception that I work around.
But yeah, it's so deep. It's socrazy. But yeah, I don't want to
get too crazy on here. But it'sit's a very, very deep
(38:41):
meaningful thing for me toobtain certain things and not
because just to say I have itfor the status, but it's a
trophy. It's it really shows,you know the work that you put
in so when I see people that aregetting all these nice things,
I'm like damn, like they workedhard because I'm busting my ass.
And I'm not there yet. So I knowyou've worked hard I know what
(39:04):
it looks like behind thecurtains. You know, everyone
thinks my life is great onInstagram, which it is and I I
show the bad parts to sometimesbut they don't really know how
hard it gets. They don't theydon't understand that when I'm
waking up at 5am I'm crying.
There's there's days I'm cryingon the way to the gym. I am
(39:25):
literally in tears because Ijust I'm tired. I work hard
every day. I'm tired. I've beendoing this for five years
straight 365 24 seven every dayI've missed a day. I'm tired and
that's okay though. But I knowthat when I get to that point I
know that a breakthrough iscoming through and that's what I
(39:45):
try to teach people to thebreakfast card talk like it's
okay to be tired. It's okay tobe broken down. It's okay to do
that. But you can have a momentof rest if you need it. I
personally you know, you have toeveryone takes rest but some
people take too much rest. SoHave a moment, not a day a
moment, and then finish it.
Because once you accomplishthat,
(40:07):
the feelings that you have onthe inside of your body, and the
knowing that you can pullthrough even on your worst of
days will help you on that nextobstacle that you'll go through
because the obstacles neverstopped, they're going to
continue coming. So as long asyou can go over these obstacles
and do these things, it'snothing to that's why is nothing
for me, I will cry all day long.
Look at this, look at this. Lookat this. This is all sample
(40:32):
cereals, and everything, I willcry, I will cry through it all.
But I do it because I love it. Ilove it, I will cry through it,
I'll look through it. And it'llbe hard. I don't know what I'm
doing. I'll cry through it. ButI will make sure I get it done.
Because I know that once it'sdone, the feeling that I get is
more immense than crying for afew days. You know what I mean?
(40:56):
Not saying I cry all the time.
But I'm just saying, you know,it's okay. It's okay to cry,
it's okay to be broken downsometimes. But that's what it
takes to push the next level,you know what I mean? So,
yeah, and, and a lot of thatkind of comes down to like
trusting yourself, like the kindof like you said, like you like
knowing that you're going to beable to get it done, knowing
that you'll be able to kind oftake that foundation and get
(41:19):
yourself to the next level. And,you know, like, these are, these
are the words in this mission.
And Gosh, shout out to your momfor doing all that with you with
taking it to the to you know,where the where the your bottom
could end up. And then also, youknow, the heights that you could
store, I mean, and to do that toyou so young until like really
plant that into your head.
(41:39):
Because I think that is a thingwhere a lot of us are not
brought up understanding thatthat is possible and the how to
get there. And I really, youknow, having that foundation of
the community that kind ofpropped you up and understanding
all the way through that thisis, you know, that that the
(41:59):
community is what got you hereand the community is what's
going to get you through. Andand having this void kind of
filled for you like, how does itfeel to know as you're doing all
this stuff, as you're kind of,you know, like you said, crying
through it all, but knowing thatyou're on this mission and
knowing that you have yourcommunity has your back? What
does it feel like to know thatwhile you have this void, you
(42:22):
are now filling that void forother people, you are now the
big brother that other peopleare seeking out and and are
finding, right?
How does that feel? It feelsvery wild. Sometimes I don't. I
for I don't realize the impactthat I have until like the
(42:47):
messages come in. And they arevery frequent, which you know,
even just thinking about it inthis moment. It's like, yeah,
like, it's very wild. That'sreally all I can say. It's, it
means a lot to me. And it'slike, I I don't know, it's like,
(43:08):
I'm very happy. It's like, it'slike an overwhelming feeling
that doesn't have words. It'slike, I just want to always do
this like that. That's just kindof how that's like the words
that come to my mind when Ithink about like, when people
reach out to me, and they'relike, Oh, I need this so much.
And this is where I really needto hear today. Or like, Oh, I
(43:28):
got through TSA and I traveledall the way to Thailand with my
bag. And I felt so comfortableor, you know, like this, you
know, I talked to my doctor andthey told me they love this
product. Like, you know, justlittle things like that is like
is sometimes I'm like, Who areyou? Like? Like, like sometimes
(43:50):
I don't even realize like, It'sme, you know what I mean? Even
with my wife, she's like, youknow, that's your money. You
know, that's your business. It'snot self Bros. I'm like, I'm
still trying to make sure thatthat is, you know what I mean?
And it's very, it's very, it's,it's hard. It's weird. It's
(44:15):
cool. It's fun. It's so manydifferent things. It's so many
different things. But I stilleven to this day like I was on
the phone with one of thesupplier diversity is from
Kellogg company. And just toeven say that I'm just like, I
was like, what I mean, like,it's very wild. It's very wild.
(44:36):
Like even right now I'm in aprogram through CVS health for
executive learning, like whatlike what's great doing what and
that's the whole thing and I'mblown away I'm I'm blown away by
the own my own things that I'mdoing so it it's like I have out
of body experience. It's likenot me, but it is.
So it sounds like you despiteall the success you know
(44:58):
imposter syndrome. It's stillsomething that you deal with.
It's still a real thing.
It's a real thing. It's a wholething. Yeah, it's it's very,
it's very weird, but it's sofulfilling. And it makes me so
happy. And I know that in thosedays, I am really sad. It's
like, I'm not because I knowpeople are watching me. And I
(45:23):
know that they're looking for meto like, continue to feed them
with things that they need. Andthat motivates me to want to
keep doing it.
Yeah, it always comes back tothe community.
Yeah, it's like, I'm excited.
Like, even if I'm sad, I'm like,I know, I don't feel like doing
this, but I'm gonna crush itanyway. Because I know that I
have so many people looking atme. And I know that I
ultimately, I really like nowthat I have kids and stuff, like
(45:48):
what my wife and everything islike, they're watching me on
Instagram, they watch me they'renine and 11. They watch me. I
can't just be saying anythinganymore. You know what I mean? I
can't just doing anythinganymore. Like I have to. I
really, because you know, youcan talk to your kids all day,
like I talk to the kids all day,like you shouldn't be doing
(46:08):
this. You shouldn't be doingthat, like China's school them
and stuff like that. But whenthey watch me on Instagram
stories, they get to sit withthat, you know what I mean? They
get to really absorb what I'msaying. And you know, my
youngest, he always comes backto me, and he was like, brax,
you remember when you weresaying, blah, blah, blah. And
I'm like, you remember it? Like,you remember that? He and he
(46:31):
does, you know, I mean? So Iknow that. It's sticking in.
Like, I know that if he sees mepull through my hard days, just
like the other day, I wrotesomething on there, like a
couple paragraphs on myInstagram story. And they could
see, you know, they didn't knowI was having a bad day that day,
because I'm good. I show you I'mgood. You know what I mean? But
I'm letting them in a little bitto understand that, hey, you
(46:54):
know, I am moving forward. But Ihave a hard day too sometimes.
And that's okay. And they candigest that on their own. You
know what I mean? Yeah, and ithelps, it helps. So it's like,
all these little things, keepsme going to just continue trying
to be the best that I can plusmy father, I have a really great
dad, my dad is one of the bestdads ever. So like, trying to be
(47:16):
the man that he is like, I knowthat I have to continue to embed
I know I'm a little bit morecrazier than he is. But it's
like, He's such a great humanbeing like as a person that I
want to strive to be like that.
And I think that's what reallypushed my transition was that I
wanted to be a father, I reallywanted to be a father. I want it
(47:39):
to give my kids what my fathergave me. And I couldn't be a
mom, I couldn't I couldn't be amother. I didn't have that even
though I love my mom. But that'sjust who I was right? And having
my dad like, my dad's Also, I'mboth my parents were
entrepreneurs. So my dad was anentrepreneur as well. And every
(48:00):
day on the way to school becauseI actually was raised by my
father, I live with him majorityof my life. He used to always
try to figure out an inventionso that we didn't have to live
in New Jersey because we wantedto move to Florida my entire
life. He we need to he is toocold. So he would always say,
you know, it's the, it's thesimplest ideas that filled a
(48:21):
void that will make you rich.
And he said this to me 1000s oftimes as I was growing up
throughout middle school, highschool, whatever you want to
call it, because he would driveme to school every day. And that
was one of the things when Itold him about stealth bros the
initial before I even leteverybody know, he was like, are
you sure 300 bags is going to beenough. And I was like, Dad,
(48:43):
it's going to be I'm not goingto sell these things overnight,
blah, blah, blah. And he's like,I don't know. He said, what
you're doing people need thisand I'm like, Okay, yeah, and
that's like, it just like kindof went on from there. So yeah,
my story is crazy. There's justlike so many intricate pieces to
it. You know, I mean,absolutely. Because Yeah, that's
(49:03):
exactly it you you filled asimple need, you know, you
provided a safe space for peoplewho have to inject themselves,
whether they're trapped, I mean,starting with transmitted
testosterone, but whetherthey're also you know, diabetic
and things like that, justproviding a safe space for them
to put their needles. And it'sso interesting that you you
know, your dad was telling youthis from childhood and that
ended up being what you what youdid. So yeah, shout out to the
(49:26):
parents shout out to thecommunity. You know, we're just
about out of time. Is there isthere anything else that you'd
feel remiss if you left it out?
And is there anything that youwould like to promote?
No, I mean, I think we touchedbase on everything. And I think
the one thing we didn't talkabout was like my fitness. But I
(49:49):
really, you know, fitness is mystabilizer I would like to say
it's my meditation time. It'syour anchor in It's my anchor,
it's my anchor. Amen to that.
Yes, for sure. If I did not havethe gym, I would be wild as
hell. That's just to be honestwith you, because I would, I
(50:10):
would be way too overwhelmed. Iwould be just all over the place
with everything, it reallybuilds my confidence to like,
you know, I always telleverybody, you got to stop
caring what people think aboutyou, you got to just let that
go. And when I entered that, Ilet it all go. And then when I
come out of there, I'm like,like, right now I'm still
(50:31):
sweating from the gym, sweatingtalking to you, because I'm so
pumped. Like, I'm just sopumped, I had it, I had a great
start to my day, I went to thegym, I did what I had to do, you
know, I've been hitting all mymeetings, we're on time for
everything. I got anothermeeting at two o'clock,
everything is aligned,everything just boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom. And when Ihave that gym in the morning,
I'm ready, I can go all day, allnight, it doesn't matter. But
(50:54):
without that gym, I'm just notthe same. I'm just not the same
person. I just, I'm more angry.
I'm more irritable. I'm, youknow, I'm not given the love to
my family like I should. I'mmore focused on making money and
doing stupid shit. You know whatI mean? And my anchor down into
the gym, it brings me to a placewhere I can connect with God, I
(51:16):
can connect with my body, in mymind, and once I'm able to do
all of that for myself first.
That's why I like to go 5ambecause I like to start my day
for me, and God. And then once Iget that out the way that I can
handle everybody else'sproblems, because I handle
everybody else's problems allday long. Yeah. And that's a
lot. So is long as I take mytime for me first before the
(51:41):
kids before my wife beforeanybody, it's just me and God. I
think I can kill it. But if Idon't get that time, I might
kill you. Just kidding.
No, I mean, I think I thinkthat's real. Thank you for
sharing that. Thank you foradding that. Yeah, I mean,
that's a big common theme is theimportance of starting your day
just for you huge common themethat's come up on this show. So
(52:04):
I'm glad to hear that that'spart of your thing as well. But
yeah, I don't want to I don'twant to hold you up. I know you
got other stuff to do. Like Isaid, You are very busy. So
thank you so much for coming onto this show. I really
appreciate being able to chatwith you. And I loved hearing
more about your story and howinterwoven all of it is. I mean,
your life is a damn spider web.
I love it.
(52:24):
I'm telling you, I'm tellingyou. It's crazy. But and I
really appreciate you having meon. And it's always fun sharing
my story and getting it outthere. So I really appreciate
you creating a platform. And Ihope everybody enjoys it.
Thank you. Yeah, we'lldefinitely talk soon. Thank you.
Excellent.
(52:46):
All right, once again, that wasBraxton Fleming behind Braxton.
Thank you so much for coming onto the show. I got so fired up
listening back to thatconversation, when I was editing
the interview earlier today. AndI mean, it's several. Okay. So I
think that there's severalreally cool things that I wish I
could have breaking it down morewith Braxton, but you know, he
(53:08):
had to go. I think that it'sreally interesting that in the
beginning of the interview, heshared with us how he had this
relationship that ended and inthe breakup, you know, his ex
said that he wasn't doing enoughwith his life. And now here he
is talking about like, Oh, youcan take a moment of rest, but
(53:29):
not a day, just a moment. Andthen you get right back into the
hustle. You know what I mean? Heknew even during that break, he
knew that he was a go getter. Heknew that he was just putting
some of the puzzle piecestogether. And then once he kind
of figured out the directionthat he was going, he would hit
the ground running again. And Ithink it really just goes to
show that sometimes, you know,it might feel or even look on
(53:53):
the outside that we're not doinga lot with our lives. But it
could be that we're justfiguring out what direction we
need to go. I don't think thatit's good to be busy just for
the sake of being busy. Right?
When it's time to put the pedalto the metal, as they say, you
know, you'll be able to do that.
And that's exactly what Braxtondid. I mean, he knows exactly
(54:15):
what his vision is exactly whathis goal is. And he's not
letting anything get into theway. But if you don't know what
that vision is, why, why are yourunning around in circles? You
like a damn dog trying to chaseyour tail. You know, I also
thought it was very kind of himthat he let me say stuff
brothers the whole time insteadof self Bros. Listening back.
(54:38):
I'm like, Oh, we were not sayingthe same thing. So sorry about
that Braxton self Bros. It is agreat company. I actually I've
never had to like taketestosterone home and inject it
so I never really had a need forthe dopp kits. And I was really
excited when I saw that he cameout with a fanny pack because
(54:59):
I've kind of been wild For awhile, and I bought one, so
yeah, and there's there'susually a parallel on there too.
So you know if you're someonewho really got excited about the
mission of stealth Burrows, butyou don't necessarily have a
need for a dopp kit, you know,check out their website Anyway,
you might find some cool stuffon there and give him a follow.
(55:20):
We did we ran out of time beforewe could talk about his you
know, the stuff that he wantedto promote but I talked to him a
little bit after the interviewand he just wants you to follow
Him and follow stealth bro. So Iput the links to all that into
the show notes. Braxton is sirebrax on Instagram and tik tok
(55:40):
stealth bros is just stealth broco on Facebook, Instagram and
tik tok, he puts out really goodstuff on both platforms. Check
it all out. You know, like Isaid he is
he's just a great example ofwhat it looks like when you have
an idea of what your purpose isand the direction you want to
(56:02):
go. And moving forward with it.
And I really appreciate that heled us into the the more human
side of that, that that he doesstill experience imposter
syndrome. In some days, he he'scrying because he doesn't want
to do this, you know, like,that's as real, that is real
life right there. You know, andI just I love to what he said at
(56:22):
the end there about the the gymand being in the flow. I mean,
he didn't say being in the flow.
That's what I heard listeningback to this, you know, he said,
he goes to the gym, it's hisanchor, you know, he's able to
just not care what anyone thinksand and put it all out there.
And then he comes back andeverything is just in perfect
(56:43):
alignment. And his meetings aregoing smoothly and and he's
locked in with his family andhis community. You know, that
anchor can look like a lot ofdifferent things for a lot of
different people. But whateverit is, I hope that you're able
to find something like that.
And, you know, hey, again, ifanything that you heard here
resonated with you, you know,leave us a five star rating a
(57:06):
written review, you know, hit meup on Instagram or tik tok. Let
me know what you liked about theshow. Take a screenshot make it
your Instagram story. Again, I'mall about connection. I try to
every once in a while, you know,post questions on my Instagram
stories, you just getconversations going because and
hey, half of the time when I'mputting out these these
(57:29):
questions, I don't even reallyknow where I stand on these
things because they get weirdand philosophical Like, right
now I'm I'm debating whether ornot we changes people at all, or
if we just evolve more and moreand become more transformed
versions of who we always were,which now that I say that out
loud. I'm like, does this evenmake sense? I don't know. But
(57:51):
let's have a conversation. Andyeah, thank you for being on
this journey with me. I'll seeyou next week. Stay evolving.
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