October 26, 2021 • 37 mins
Addie Woolridge returns to talk about her latest book, The Bounce Back. Addie and Leo also discuss failure, belonging, and the important role that romance novels play in our culture.
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The Checklist;
The Bounce Back
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By: Leo Yockey
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:16):
Hello, and welcome to anotherepisode of the Leo Yockey Show,
the show where I Leo Yockeyinterview guests about the
universal truths in their uniquelife path. Okay, I'm gonna make
this super quick because I don'tknow if you can tell by my voice
but I'm actually really sick.
It's not COVID COVID test cameback negative, but holy moly, I
feel like shit. So we're gonnaget pretty much right into it
(00:40):
today. I'm really excited. I myfirst returning guest today is
the author Addy Woolridge. Shewas in season one. When her
debut novel, the checklist cameout. And now today, her second
novel, The bounce back is beingreleased. So I hope you enjoy
this interview. I have a coupleof announcements at the end. So
(01:02):
stay tuned for that. Including away to support the show that
doesn't involve just ratingreviewing and subscribing. So
please stick around for that. Inthe meantime, here is once
again, Addy willowridge.
(01:27):
Addy willowridge, did you thinkthat approximately four months
ago, when we did our firstpodcast recording, they you
would be here recording apodcast to be released the day
that your second book comes out?
That we would be friends andthat you would be up to that
point? The only repeat guests ofthe Leo Yockey show?
(01:50):
No. Yeah, I was just thinkingabout this. I was like, Yeah, we
was like my genuine homie. I'msuper excited to talk to him
again. Like, what are the odds?
Yeah, I'm excited to talk to youtoo. And unfortunately, peek
behind the curtain for thelistener, because I've had some
friends on here where it's like,we haven't really talked. And so
you're getting like, the rawlike, initial, like catch up, we
(02:15):
already caught up because thereare certain things that don't
necessarily need to be on thispodcast. It's not the time or
the place. Because you knowwhat, the bounce back was a very
nice feel a good book. And someof the stuff that we talked
about were not nice, feel goodthings.
But I also like, I was justreflecting on the experiences
(02:37):
like the checklist coming outand like making friends with
you. And one of the cool thingthat I didn't see coming with
writing books was like, thefriends I would make over the
internet. I wasn't like aninternet friend person. And now
I have internet friends who arelike, genuinely, my friends like
you and I had dinner. We're nowfriends friends.
(02:59):
We did it is it is having dinnerofficial our friendship. And I
mean, that dinner happened at avery, I really needed to not be
alone that day. And, you know,so it, the timing was perfect.
It was it was a great chance tobe able to see I still haven't
seen Marshall yet. And you know,I've actually been thinking
about this because for those ofyou who remember martial hue
(03:22):
from season one, but somehowdon't remember, Addy willowridge
from season one, they arebrother and sister. I've
realized shout out to Marshall,love you so much if you hear
this, but oh my god, mylifestyle. I think matches yours
a lot more. I was like starting,you know, getting into comedy
(03:42):
and all this stuff. So I think Imight have presented myself as
being much cooler than I am whenI met Marshall. But the reality
is that I like a very nice,quiet life. I stay at home a
lot. I don't go out late likeMarshalls, like when he's in LA.
He's like, I'm doing this show.
I'm gonna go on at like 10pm AndI'm like, oh, what our past my
bedtime. Alright, man, have fun.
(04:04):
Let me know what you're doingduring the day. Love you. Oh,
no, I'msorry. Like my, we will not be
leaving this house. Okay, it'sit's done. The ideas that we've
been house after 10 are longgone. But Marshall is doing
enough of that for the wholefamily at this stage. And like,
somebody is out there doing thisfor us. It's just not.
(04:25):
Right, and like, I'll come toyour TED Talk, man. Like, that
was in LA, I would have donethat for sure. Like, that's up
my speed. But, you know, I'llmeet him someday, too. But um,
anyway, we're not we're not hereto talk about about. We, we we
will probably digress a lot. Andthat's okay. And that being
said, I think that we should letyou we being me, I think I
(04:48):
should let you talk about yourbook right off the bat before we
get too far off. So thebounceback your second novel, if
you're listening to this podcastthe day that it comes out Here's
26 August, October 26. What istime?
Time? Nobody knew what his timeit means nothing.
(05:09):
Absolutely nothing. It's it'slike what do people say? Like
time isn't even linear anyway?
Like, it's all it's allbullshit. Yeah, it's a
construct. We're living in somesort of matrix. The world is
ending. It's the end times it'sthe apocalypse. On the way out.
Exactly, exactly. So what if sowhat is the bounce back all
(05:29):
about?
So the bounce back crash there,like so many different ways to
talk about this, but the bounceback? For those of you who I
guess, haven't been followingalong, I write rom coms. So
multicultural kind of diverse,contemporary ROM. But I like to
(05:50):
say that I, I deal with stuffthat's maybe a little bit
heavier in a funny way. So thebounce back follows aspiring
artists, but maybe slightlyunder committed artists, Neil
dellacroix, who accidentallysets kind of her career as a bad
job of explaining this.
I'm sorry. You're practicing forthe press tour. I love Yeah,
(06:13):
I know. I thought about that. Iwas like, wow, I should really
work on like my elevator pitchor something. I'll do that
later. Whatever. I never didit. Do it now.
We're doing it. Socongratulations. You're getting
the behind the scenes lookat workshopping. workshopping
this with Leo.
He's just gonna help me refinemy concepts. So yeah, oh, the
(06:35):
bounce back. It's a contemporaryrom com, multicultural, diverse
cast rom com. It follows Neildellacroix, who's an aspiring
but under committed artist, whoshould be on cloud nine, she
managed to land a spot in areally prestigious showcase, and
immediately sets her career onfire. Around the same time, her
(06:55):
parents say, hey, you know, youkind of got to grow up, you need
to move out and the boyfriendbreaks up with her. And Neil
takes all of this as a sign thatshe needs to step away from the
art world, but she's breakingeverything she touches, can use
to kind of give up dating, getherself together, give up art,
go get a like, boring nine tofive job. And of course, she
(07:17):
manages to do these things. Butjust like anybody who maybe
isn't quite doing what is intheir heart, realizes that even
doing those things much harderthan you think it's going to be.
And so this is kind of a storyof, in some ways growing up and
figuring out who she is. And ofcourse, there's romance.
Listen, that was a greatelevator pitch. It took a
(07:40):
second. Yeah, got there. And Ihave to say, so I don't remember
what I said about your firstbook, The Checklist. But it's
interesting to me, because, youknow, in reading this book is,
you know, thank you for that.
VIP press, member of the press,you know, before the release
copy of it, because we'rerecording this before the 26th
(08:03):
and I've already read it Hey,you got it. There's, you know,
so that you touched on a lot ofthings that just feel very
relatable to the millennialgoing through the existential
crisis, right, you know, likethe dreams falling apart, the
bills are coming due. How am Igoing to make all this work, you
(08:24):
know, kind of redefining self inthe midst of a breakup, new
career, all these things, Ifound it all to be very
relatable. And I found myselfoften thinking like, Oh, my God,
like Neil is going throughexactly what I'm going through.
Which is exactly how I feltabout Dylan dellacroix The, the
(08:46):
main character of your firstbook, The checklist, the sister
of Neil dellacroix In thisfictitious world. And so I'm
really, it seems like you havethis like rom com that is really
touching on things that are Imean, part I don't know, I'm
(09:07):
like, is this stuff that's justlike really universal? Like
you're riding at like, you know,basic, like, human condition
type of real life shit. Are youlike writing stuff? Just for me,
Leo Yockey. Specifically, eventhough you wrote these before
you knew me but you know, wejust said time isn't linear. So
who knows? You know, like, whathow did you do that? Like, how
(09:34):
did you like what what makesthese characters like so like
relatable? Like are these arethese things that you dealt with
like in your in your own life?
Like are you writing to like ayounger version of yourself?
Because I've already said I'mlike, like, I'm like Addy.
willowridge is basically my bigsister at this point.
(09:54):
Like, yeah, I want to say to LeoI, you know, I guess a little
bit of everything I was thinkinga little bit about the writing
process and how I create things.
And I think sometimes it's justruminating on a concept. This,
this doesn't sound like a funnything. But it truly is. When I
was thinking about the bounceback, I actually wanted to
explore failure. And what doesit mean to fail? How do you pick
(10:17):
yourself up? Who do you becomewhen you fail? Do you become
someone different? When youfail? Do you become more of
yourself? All of those kinds ofconcepts. And Sunil was really
kind of the perfect vehicle forthat. I had already read a book
where someone was verycompetent, and they just needed
the world to recognize it. Andwith this, I wanted the story to
(10:40):
almost be the inverse, wheresomeone else needed to recognize
for themselves that they werecompetent, that they could do
something. I think having goneto music school, having been an
artist, essentially, I guess,writers are considered artists.
I guess I'm still an artist.
Yeah, totally. Yeah. Like, I'mnot a musician anymore. But I'm
(11:01):
still an artist. Your art isevolving. Yeah. Or it is
evolving. Like, I'm one of thosepeople. Listeners can't see me,
but I'm making a weird face. Butyeah, so I wanted to kind of
explore growing up as an artisttoo, because I think there's
this sort of sense when you'reyounger, and an artist that if
you're not doing your art,exactly the way that you
(11:23):
envision it at exactly thismoment, and having this exact
kind of success, that it'sbetter to starve and suffer,
then create anything that isn't100% your vision at any time,
then you're a failure, or asellout and your life is
miserable, and you're not evenan artist refresh. And I think
that's something that a lot ofartists internalize, and then
(11:46):
feel guilt when they can sayonly paint on the weekends or
only creates their music afterwork, or you know, they're
playing at a jazz bar that alsoserves dinner, and that can't
possibly be art. And so I wantedto kind of explore, like, what
happens when someone who sort ofthinks a little bit about
(12:07):
themselves, and bases some oftheir value on not having to do
those things, has to either dothose things or address why
they're not doing those things?
And what about their life sortof allows them to not do those
things? What are the systemsthat allow them to just produce
art without having to have aside gig? Or how do they feel
once they've got a side gig, butthey're not necessarily
(12:29):
producing their art and thatfriction that comes with not
being exactly who you want to beall the time? And figuring out
who that is? I don't know ifthat makes sense.
Yeah, I think that makes a lotof sense. And I'm really glad
that you talked about like, thesystem specifically, because
you're right, like I look at, Ilook at friends that I have,
(12:50):
that are also pursuing their artthat are also at various stages
in their career, and you do seehow systems kind of play a role,
you know, i i in going back totech, yeah, you know, part of it
for me was I'm recovering fromburnout. I, you know, found
(13:10):
that, you know, like inrecovering from burnout, I
didn't hate it, you know, like,there is creativity in it, like
I do enjoy some of it. But atthe end of the day, if this
wasn't something that paidreally, really, really well, I
probably wouldn't be going backto it right now. And the reality
is that it's great. In a perfectworld, we're just, you know,
(13:32):
eating fruit and making art allday. You know, like, I've seen
things on Twitter's stuff that'sjust like, man, before the
colonizers came, we really justlike ate fruit and made art all
day. And that is, of course, theideal life. But you know, it's
like this balance between whatis ideal? And what is the
(13:53):
reality that we're actuallyfacing. And I think that that
was a lot of what Neil isgrappling with in in the book,
you know, what I mean? And Ilook at some people who are
pursuing their art and arefurther along, and they're
either willing to make certainsacrifices that I'm not as far
as you know, be living thatstarving artists lifestyle, I am
(14:14):
just, I'm just not at that stagein my life. Right now. I don't
want a roommate, you know,moving back in with my parents
isn't an option, like all thesedifferent things. But also, some
of them are just, you know, it'slike they have, you know, they
had a different life path wherethey just might have more
resources than me to be able topursue those things. And it's
(14:34):
usually some sort of combinationof that. And it so it's not so
much like who's more dedicatedto their art, it's more just
like Who, who, who has thingswithin the system like working
for and against them and who'swilling to either use that
privilege or, you know, kind ofdeal with the consequences of
(14:57):
not using that privilege becauselike, yeah, being transgender
like I need to have reallyexpensive health insurance to be
able to like keep my hormonetreatment going and stuff. So
it's like for me going tostarving artists route is just
never really going to be mything.
And I really think somethingthat stands out to me is that
there is this notion that youwould be happier if you could do
(15:20):
just like the flourishingartists situation. And I
actually think that so much ofart is reaction to life. And if
you're not living life, you'renot building relevant art to
assert. And at least at least,for me, one of the things that I
came to realize is that Iactually like having different
(15:43):
bits and pieces of my life. Idon't mind having a day job,
there are times where I'm like,oh, drop, that's frustrating. I
don't like it. Um, but the truthis, there are aspects of running
a book business, and I'm like,oh, yeah, really, I have to, I
have contractors, I have to callto do you know, design work for
this thing. And either way,there are going to be bits and
(16:07):
pieces of my life that I don'treally feel like doing no matter
what business I'm in. And Ithink as a society, we have this
tendency to really glamorizeartists and art as a creation.
Without thinking about thebusiness that makes are
possible, without thinking aboutthe structures that make your
art possible. And withoutthinking about the role you play
(16:31):
in making your art possible. AndI think there are times where we
can kind of buy into thisconcept that I have to be
uncomfortable to create, tocreate art, or that if I'm too
comfortable, my Oracle bat goodand it's actually a balance, I
think that makes art good. It'sthat that slight discomfort,
where like I want something alittle bit more, I feel
(16:52):
compelled to put something intothis world. So I'm not
completely like, complacentfloating away on a cloud. And I
don't feel motivated to saysomething because I think good
art says something or reflectssomething about the world,
right? So in some way, I have tosee a little bit of something
almost like a pearl, you know,or like, there's got to be sand
somewhere in there, in order forme to create something and for
(17:16):
artists to create something. Sobeing too comfortable isn't
going to yield art that ismeaningful, but being completely
just comfortably uncomfortable.
And to your point, not beingable to afford the kind of
health insurance that lets yoube who you are. You would never
create meaningful art that wayeither. Like, all of those
things kind of have to align anda lot of life as an artist is
just sort of figuring out, howdo I make that balance possible
(17:38):
for me, and for some people,that's a day job for some people
that is for some people to trustfund.
Yeah, for real. And, man, it itastounds me how often I can
bring the conversation of thisand so many of my podcast
episodes, but it, I think thatthis is just another symptom of
the fact that in our culture, weare obsessed with binaries, and
(18:02):
everything is either this orthat is either you or the
successful, you know, even noteven just an artist, but just
like an entrepreneur, you'redoing your own thing, and you're
thriving your own thing, oryou're a failure with a day job.
And there's no in between whenthe reality is, you know, just
like you said, like how manytimes have we enjoyed an artist,
(18:22):
especially musical artists,where they get fame after a
little while and a couple albumsdeep, you're like, oh, man, they
just they're not the way theyused to be anymore. They sold
out there, they're this they'rethat they don't relate they're,
you know, writing songs aboutthings that they're not right.
They didn't used to write about,or they're still writing about
the things they used to writeabout. And haven't they grown
and evolved as a person, youknow, there's, there's all these
(18:45):
different things. But also, likeyou said, yeah, like for me, I
can't make my art, whatever thatlooks like, when I'm worried
about how am I going to pay thebills like that is just not it's
it actually is easier for me tofocus when I know where my
money's coming in. And we're soobsessed with like, oh, you
(19:08):
should just be able to do yourown thing and have freedom. But
to me freedom is the fact that Ican go and you know, contract
out and yeah, technically I'm anemployee. But I'm making this
like really high hourly wage,which is a great privilege being
in tech. And I don't have toworry about like, the business,
(19:29):
it doesn't matter. I just comein and I do my thing. And then I
have all this extra brain spaceavailable for the art that I
want to do. You know, could Ibuild myself up so that I'm
either making money off of myart or like building my own tech
agencies from this likeentrepreneur? Sure I could be
but like, why? Because someoneelse says that this is a
(19:49):
definition of success. Andthat's why like I really I
really appreciated you know ofall of the conversations I had
in season one, though. One thatI had with you is the one that I
feel like, Man, I feel like I'mmost emulating what you talked
about, like having that freedomto be able to create art, and
(20:10):
know where the bills are, howthe bills are being paid, and
also just have that inspirationfor life like not be so
disconnected. That the art is inauthentic, I guess, is the word
I'm looking for.
I think one of the things that Ireally loved about kind of this
side of the publishing journey,when you write your first book,
(20:32):
you nobody knows who you are,nobody has read your stuff, you
don't really exist in the sameway. And then your art goes into
the world. And people read yourbook, and one of the things that
I've actually come to reallylove is talking to readers.
Because ultimately, that's,that's who I create for, right.
And that's whose world I'mwriting, I don't write, you
(20:55):
know, on the planet of Jupiter,an alien comes and bubbeleh. And
that's totally fine, if that'slike your vibe. But that's not
what I write, I write a lot ofpeople who have day jobs, who
have friend conflicts, who havefamily conflicts, who their car
breaks down, or their clothesare crappy, or just, you know,
kind of their some mundanethings. But I also think that
life can be really funny, evenwhen it's mundane, like the, you
(21:20):
know, that classic joke of likethe shopping bag breaking. And
it always happens in a movie.
And it's always a little bitfunny, but it's a little bit
funny. And when it happens toyou at the same time, you're
like, seriously, really come on.
But it's relatable for thatreason that you have had the
experience of Oh, come on. Andnow you're watching someone else
happen. And so in that sense, Iactually don't want to remove
(21:43):
myself too far from the worldthat my readers live in. Because
I like that my books, let themsee their own world in a way. Or
let them imagine the piecestheir world just slightly
different. Or even sometimesit's not even imagining the
world in different ways, justtaking them out of the moment.
They're in and allowing them tobe in a different kind of
(22:04):
moment.
Yeah, I think, no, I thinkthat's really cool. Like, take
taking bits of real life, andjust examining it and showing it
in a way that's really relatablebecause you're right, like even,
you know, like the Neilcharacter, like she's borrowing
her sister's clothes, becauseshe doesn't even know how to
(22:25):
dress for a regular job. Likethat's real. I, I feel that a
lot in a lot of differentplaces. Where I, and I think
some of this too, is like, forme, it's also just like being
black. I'm like, I'm always justlike, hyper aware of how I'm
like presenting to the world.
Like the first tech shot that Ihad, I was in this like, kind of
(22:46):
fancy office building in SantaMonica. We're in like, the
tallest building in SantaMonica, which is not saying a
lot, but yeah. Yeah, well, Imean, it was 21 stories. Thank
you very much.
No, downtown, but okay.
Yeah, no, not even close. Butum, we, we were the one tech
(23:08):
company in a building full ofmostly lawyers and real estate
developers. So we wereessentially the only office that
had a casual dress code. And Iremember talking to one of my
white colleagues, who is trulyjust like, jeans and an old,
like, banned t shirt orsomething like that, or graphic
T every day, which is fine,because hey, it's a tech
(23:30):
company. That's not what peoplewear. But I remember him saying
was something along the lines ofyeah, when whenever I get into
the elevator, it seems like allthese other like, corporate
drones, like, look at me, andthey're like, really jealous
that I'm, like, dressed likethis. And I'm like, really?
Because I feel like me with mylike, jeans and like, a plaid
(23:53):
shirt. Usually it would be likewhat I would wear. Like, I feel
like they're looking at me like,like, I don't belong, like
they're trying to assess why I'meven in the elevator, you know?
And they're like, it's like,like, Did you steal that key
card kid? Like, what are youdoing? You know, how are you
bringing something you scrub?
Like,right? Exactly. And I don't know
how much of that is, you knowthe difference in having white
(24:16):
man confidence and just assumingthat everyone's dazzled by you
versus not having that and howmuch of that is is a real
perception that these people arehaving the elevator but the
either way, you know if I hadbeen dressed in like a really
nice tailored suit, like allthese lawyer types where I went
into felt that way, and I thatis like a very new thing for me
(24:40):
like realizing how much thatstuff can matter. Like oh my
God, when I was at this wedding,I was just telling you, I
officiated my best friend'swedding. Over the last weekend.
I talked about it a little biton the podcast leading up
leading up to this episode. Butman, I felt like I like own the
place. You know what I mean?
They also they told me they'relike the officiant has a lot of
(25:02):
power. And they shouldn't havetold me that. But I just I felt
very powerful. I knew I knew Ilooked good in that suit, like,
those kinds of things do make adifference. And those are some
of the like, the little detailsin life that we don't really
talk about or think about veryoften.
Yeah, and I also think feelinglike you belong in that suit is
kind of at least part of thestory that I was trying to tell
(25:24):
with Neil is that she'sconstantly putting on these
costumes or identities, and thenfeeling like maybe they're not
quite her or not quite right. Orit's not quite who she wants to
be, even when she you know, hasmore comfortable setup at the
beginning of the book. She'swearing a costume. And then
throughout the story, she'sshe's wearing different people's
(25:45):
clothes, and she's borrowingthings and trying to build an
identity that just doesn't quitedoesn't fit her. And I think
part of spoiler alert, if you'renot familiar with the genre of
romance, they always endhappily. The book kind of works
itself out is Neal becomingcomfortable in Neil's clothing
(26:06):
and finding her identity and whoshe wants to be. And that's what
I love about your suit stories.
Like, you're wearing this suit,and you're like, I belong in
this. I feel good. And that'sjust amazing.
Thank you. Yeah, it was, it wasa really cool feeling. I I love
(26:26):
that idea that like all romancenovels, always. And happily,
it's just like rom coms. Likethe movies, like they just
they're not there, it's just notgoing to have a sad ending. It's
a nice little escape fromreality.
If you're reading a romancenovel, and it ends poorly,
you're not reading a romancenovel novel, you're reading a
love story. And that is like, inthe romance writer, community,
(26:49):
this is like our big like,fight, not even fight just like
our big delineation, if you'rewriting romance, it ends
halfway, it's called an ETA andhappy for now. HFM, right. So it
doesn't have to end in likemarriage and a baby and all that
kind of thing, you just have toend on a high. And that's the
promise that you make the readerright. And that's actually why I
(27:11):
like writing in the genre. Andwhy I love reading the genre,
because you see all differentkinds of people, no matter what
they've done, no matter wherethey start, at the end of the
beginning of the book, you knowthat at the end, they will be
found worthy of lovingthemselves and being loved.
Which is ultimately why I thinkromance is probably the most
popular fiction genre, becausepeople actually need to know
(27:34):
that they are worthy of beingloved and loving themselves. And
it's just really reassuring, Ithink, and particularly in times
like these that are reallychallenging, being able to write
that and give somebody thatreassurance that hey, you're
worthy. Is such a gift. Likeit's my favorite part of what I
do.
(27:55):
I love that. And that and that'ssuch a good point. You know,
like, knowing your worth, andbeing able to see stories that
exemplify that is reallyimportant. And I feel like I
don't know, it's it's weird. Ifeel like there's a lot of
people that are like, oh, astory, you know, like, that's
(28:15):
not what real life is. You'rejust escaping bla bla bla bla
bla bla bla. And I'm like, whata what a sad view on reality,
like I've never, because evenjust like with TV shows and
movies, like I always preferthings that are happier. And my
whole thing is like, I feel likeI feel everything like I
understand how fucked up theworld is, I don't want my
(28:36):
entertainment to further remindme of that. I feel like my
entertainment needs to help mefill up my cup so that I can go
out and deal with the not sogreat aspects of the world.
Yeah, and I really, I, I thinkit's an interesting cultural
commentary that we have as, assort of, you and I are both in
(28:59):
the States for listening, whomaybe abroad, like Americans, in
particular have this sense thatif something is whimsical or
joyful, it isn't a value. Andthat's just simply not true. But
we choose to love stories wheresuffering is at the core,
particularly for minorities, orpeople with marginalized
identities in this country. Ifyou're not suffering, we don't
(29:20):
even bother to tell your story.
And I really feel like as aromance writer, and as a black
woman, a huge part of my goalwas to tell stories that center
our joy and remind people thatit's okay for them to be loved
and to be joyful to feel loveand joy. Even after going
through challenges, like herstill jokes to be had in
(29:43):
challenging moments. And notjust because I'm the kind of
person who laughs at a funeral,but because we should all be
able to laugh a little right.
And so for me, and I think a lotof my romance writer friends,
particularly those of us whohave marginalized identities
It's really a special sort ofmantle that we carry, to make
(30:04):
sure that we are sharing imagesand words and scenes of joy for
people that otherwise we don'tget to see any media
experiencing joy. I was laughingwith a friend of mine who is a
lesbian. And she was talkingabout how she only recently
started reading romance. And shehad said, you know, before that
(30:27):
I was used to the stereotype ofthe rope, the lesbian dies at
the end, that is just across theboard, any storytelling
involving lesbians, we have todie at the end, it was not in
romance, you don't good news.
I've I got stories for you. AndI love that the genre is it
we're doing a slightly betterjob, or I should say independent
(30:48):
publishing has opened up a lotof doors for people with
marginalized identities, to putthese kinds of stories out into
the world. In the past, wedidn't have access to those
kinds of stories. So you and Ihad to grow up without ever
seeing a version of ourselves ina joyful position or a position
of success or accomplishment isjust kind of like a you're gonna
be a drug lord, because that'sthe only person who can have any
(31:12):
money on TV. That's it. That'sall you got. Good luck. Yeah.
Um, and I love being a part ofan artistic movement that is
giving us something else.
Right? It's it's great becauserepresent representation
matters. And it's happeningeverywhere, folks. Even in
(31:34):
romance novels. Yes. Oh, my God,look at the time. How are we
already running out of time? Didyou want to ask me a question
cuz I don't think I ever let youlike ask an actual question.
You totally did. I askedquestions. No, that's that's the
whole point of this though. It'sit's supposed to be a
conversation. I'm actuallyamazed. I didn't take any notes.
(31:54):
I'm usually like, I gotta writestuff down. So forget, like what
we're talking about. And I cancircle back and I, we just let
this flow the so all thelisteners, although you didn't
get to hear all the juicy stuffwe talked about before we hit
record, you did hear a verynaturally flowing conversation,
which I loved and I love havingyou on. Yes, aside from plugging
(32:17):
the book, of course, is thereanything else that you would
like to add that you feel likeyou'd be remiss if you if you
didn't share it with ourlisteners?
Thank I feel like my theme rightnow is just like you're worthy
of joy and love. Like this isthe kind of season I think we're
(32:37):
heading into where it can beeasy to forget, you know, as
winter kind of things getdarker. In some places, you're
heading into elections that canbe emotional or distressing. And
I think a lot of people arechanging jobs right now, let's
not pretend we're not still in apandemic. There's a lot of
hardness, just kind of exitingwork. There's a lot of
(32:58):
difficulty floating around. I'ma professional writers. I just
anyonecan do it, but you get paid to
make them up. Right.
That's what writers really like.
If I make up a word, it canpotentially go into the
dictionary with a spinner. Socongratulations. Start using it.
Maybe Miriam's will agree. Butyeah, I guess the thing that I
(33:19):
just want to remind listeners isa read some romance, be you are
worthy of love, you are worthyof experiencing joy, even when
times are a little bit hard.
You're worth it. That's what Iwould like to remind people of,
it's the most big sister thingto remind someone of ever.
(33:39):
Yeah, I love it. You're worthyof love, read a romance book,
read some romance may very wellbecome the title of this
episode.
Please, please make that thetitle of this episode. And like,
listeners, if you don't knowwhere to start with romance, and
you're looking for somethinglike, I'm on Twitter, I'm on
Instagram, like, tweet at me orwhatever. And I will do my very
(34:02):
best to like find something thatlines up with the things that
you love. Because I'm verypassionate about getting people
to read romance.
I love it. I love that there islike something for everybody.
But also Hey, listen, if you ifyou're feeling weird about that
you want to reach out there'sliterally links in the show
notes to this episode. So justjust just read these books, just
just start. Alright guys, thankyou so much for coming on. Where
(34:26):
Where would you like to be foundon the World Wide Web?
Good question. So um, I think Isaid I'm on Twitter at Addy
writes or Adewole read. You canfind me. I'm Graham. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they're in the shownotes.
I'm on Instagram. I have awebsite and Addy Woolridge just
about everywhere.
(34:47):
Okay, you are just aboutAwesome. Thank you, Addy.
willowridge for coming on. Thishas been a blast. As always at
Hey, I'll see you when the thirdbook comes out. Right All right.
Yes. I hopefully I'll have someupdates for people soon. So,
fingers.
Awesome. Looking forward to it.
Talk to you later.
(35:10):
ByeAll right, once again, that was
Addy Woolridge. Always fun totalk to you at he cannot wait
for book number three. Hopefullythere's there's something in the
works there so that we can haveyou back on the show again. Or,
you know, you could also comeback on without a book to
promote. But, you know. Anyway,as promised, there is a new way
(35:34):
to support the Leo Yockey showother than rating, reviewing and
subscribing. Though, please keepthose coming in. Thank you so
much for all of your reviews,they really are like currency in
this field. I am now anaffiliate on bookshop.org. So
that means that if you go to thelink in the show notes to
purchase either of Addy willridges books, the checklist or
(35:56):
the bounce back, you'll besupporting both her and this
show. I'm going to be addingmore stuff to that bookshop in
the future books that I highlyrecommend stuff like that. And I
highly recommend checking outboth books, both the checklist
and the bounce back and rereadthem in the order that they came
out. That's just my take. Andthe other big announcement is
(36:19):
that for the foreseeable future,the Leo Yockey show will be a bi
weekly podcast. That means thatwe'll only be having new
episodes once every two weeks.
So that's going to startimmediately. The next episode
will be with my new friend CrissAngel Murphy, I believe I think
(36:40):
that's the one I have coming upnext. But either way, no matter
which one it is that will becoming out on Tuesday, November
9. The next episode after that Ibelieve will be with my friend
Stephanie not Stephanie somaticsfrom the season one finale a
different Stephanie, equallydeep conversation that will be
coming out on Tuesday, November23. I think that's a Tuesday.
(37:05):
Anyway, thank you so much againfor being on this journey with
me. I'm going to go lie down andsleep until this flu goes away.
Please continue to wear yourmasks and wash your hands and
stay socially distance whereverpossible. We basically
eradicated the flu last year andit's already back in Los
(37:25):
Angeles. Isn't that lovely?
Anyway, stay safe out there.
Enjoy the next couple of weeksand stay evolving.
Hello, and welcome to anotherepisode of the Leo Yockey Show,
the show where I Leo Yockeyinterview guests about the
universal truths in their uniquelife path. Okay, I'm gonna make
this super quick because I don'tknow if you can tell by my voice
but I'm actually really sick.
It's not COVID COVID test cameback negative, but holy moly, I
feel like shit. So we're gonnaget pretty much right into it
(00:40):
today. I'm really excited. I myfirst returning guest today is
the author Addy Woolridge. Shewas in season one. When her
debut novel, the checklist cameout. And now today, her second
novel, The bounce back is beingreleased. So I hope you enjoy
this interview. I have a coupleof announcements at the end. So
(01:02):
stay tuned for that. Including away to support the show that
doesn't involve just ratingreviewing and subscribing. So
please stick around for that. Inthe meantime, here is once
again, Addy willowridge.
(01:27):
Addy willowridge, did you thinkthat approximately four months
ago, when we did our firstpodcast recording, they you
would be here recording apodcast to be released the day
that your second book comes out?
That we would be friends andthat you would be up to that
point? The only repeat guests ofthe Leo Yockey show?
(01:50):
No. Yeah, I was just thinkingabout this. I was like, Yeah, we
was like my genuine homie. I'msuper excited to talk to him
again. Like, what are the odds?
Yeah, I'm excited to talk to youtoo. And unfortunately, peek
behind the curtain for thelistener, because I've had some
friends on here where it's like,we haven't really talked. And so
you're getting like, the rawlike, initial, like catch up, we
(02:15):
already caught up because thereare certain things that don't
necessarily need to be on thispodcast. It's not the time or
the place. Because you knowwhat, the bounce back was a very
nice feel a good book. And someof the stuff that we talked
about were not nice, feel goodthings.
But I also like, I was justreflecting on the experiences
(02:37):
like the checklist coming outand like making friends with
you. And one of the cool thingthat I didn't see coming with
writing books was like, thefriends I would make over the
internet. I wasn't like aninternet friend person. And now
I have internet friends who arelike, genuinely, my friends like
you and I had dinner. We're nowfriends friends.
(02:59):
We did it is it is having dinnerofficial our friendship. And I
mean, that dinner happened at avery, I really needed to not be
alone that day. And, you know,so it, the timing was perfect.
It was it was a great chance tobe able to see I still haven't
seen Marshall yet. And you know,I've actually been thinking
about this because for those ofyou who remember martial hue
(03:22):
from season one, but somehowdon't remember, Addy willowridge
from season one, they arebrother and sister. I've
realized shout out to Marshall,love you so much if you hear
this, but oh my god, mylifestyle. I think matches yours
a lot more. I was like starting,you know, getting into comedy
(03:42):
and all this stuff. So I think Imight have presented myself as
being much cooler than I am whenI met Marshall. But the reality
is that I like a very nice,quiet life. I stay at home a
lot. I don't go out late likeMarshalls, like when he's in LA.
He's like, I'm doing this show.
I'm gonna go on at like 10pm AndI'm like, oh, what our past my
bedtime. Alright, man, have fun.
(04:04):
Let me know what you're doingduring the day. Love you. Oh,
no, I'msorry. Like my, we will not be
leaving this house. Okay, it'sit's done. The ideas that we've
been house after 10 are longgone. But Marshall is doing
enough of that for the wholefamily at this stage. And like,
somebody is out there doing thisfor us. It's just not.
(04:25):
Right, and like, I'll come toyour TED Talk, man. Like, that
was in LA, I would have donethat for sure. Like, that's up
my speed. But, you know, I'llmeet him someday, too. But um,
anyway, we're not we're not hereto talk about about. We, we we
will probably digress a lot. Andthat's okay. And that being
said, I think that we should letyou we being me, I think I
(04:48):
should let you talk about yourbook right off the bat before we
get too far off. So thebounceback your second novel, if
you're listening to this podcastthe day that it comes out Here's
26 August, October 26. What istime?
Time? Nobody knew what his timeit means nothing.
(05:09):
Absolutely nothing. It's it'slike what do people say? Like
time isn't even linear anyway?
Like, it's all it's allbullshit. Yeah, it's a
construct. We're living in somesort of matrix. The world is
ending. It's the end times it'sthe apocalypse. On the way out.
Exactly, exactly. So what if sowhat is the bounce back all
(05:29):
about?
So the bounce back crash there,like so many different ways to
talk about this, but the bounceback? For those of you who I
guess, haven't been followingalong, I write rom coms. So
multicultural kind of diverse,contemporary ROM. But I like to
(05:50):
say that I, I deal with stuffthat's maybe a little bit
heavier in a funny way. So thebounce back follows aspiring
artists, but maybe slightlyunder committed artists, Neil
dellacroix, who accidentallysets kind of her career as a bad
job of explaining this.
I'm sorry. You're practicing forthe press tour. I love Yeah,
(06:13):
I know. I thought about that. Iwas like, wow, I should really
work on like my elevator pitchor something. I'll do that
later. Whatever. I never didit. Do it now.
We're doing it. Socongratulations. You're getting
the behind the scenes lookat workshopping. workshopping
this with Leo.
He's just gonna help me refinemy concepts. So yeah, oh, the
(06:35):
bounce back. It's a contemporaryrom com, multicultural, diverse
cast rom com. It follows Neildellacroix, who's an aspiring
but under committed artist, whoshould be on cloud nine, she
managed to land a spot in areally prestigious showcase, and
immediately sets her career onfire. Around the same time, her
(06:55):
parents say, hey, you know, youkind of got to grow up, you need
to move out and the boyfriendbreaks up with her. And Neil
takes all of this as a sign thatshe needs to step away from the
art world, but she's breakingeverything she touches, can use
to kind of give up dating, getherself together, give up art,
go get a like, boring nine tofive job. And of course, she
(07:17):
manages to do these things. Butjust like anybody who maybe
isn't quite doing what is intheir heart, realizes that even
doing those things much harderthan you think it's going to be.
And so this is kind of a storyof, in some ways growing up and
figuring out who she is. And ofcourse, there's romance.
Listen, that was a greatelevator pitch. It took a
(07:40):
second. Yeah, got there. And Ihave to say, so I don't remember
what I said about your firstbook, The Checklist. But it's
interesting to me, because, youknow, in reading this book is,
you know, thank you for that.
VIP press, member of the press,you know, before the release
copy of it, because we'rerecording this before the 26th
(08:03):
and I've already read it Hey,you got it. There's, you know,
so that you touched on a lot ofthings that just feel very
relatable to the millennialgoing through the existential
crisis, right, you know, likethe dreams falling apart, the
bills are coming due. How am Igoing to make all this work, you
(08:24):
know, kind of redefining self inthe midst of a breakup, new
career, all these things, Ifound it all to be very
relatable. And I found myselfoften thinking like, Oh, my God,
like Neil is going throughexactly what I'm going through.
Which is exactly how I feltabout Dylan dellacroix The, the
(08:46):
main character of your firstbook, The checklist, the sister
of Neil dellacroix In thisfictitious world. And so I'm
really, it seems like you havethis like rom com that is really
touching on things that are Imean, part I don't know, I'm
(09:07):
like, is this stuff that's justlike really universal? Like
you're riding at like, you know,basic, like, human condition
type of real life shit. Are youlike writing stuff? Just for me,
Leo Yockey. Specifically, eventhough you wrote these before
you knew me but you know, wejust said time isn't linear. So
who knows? You know, like, whathow did you do that? Like, how
(09:34):
did you like what what makesthese characters like so like
relatable? Like are these arethese things that you dealt with
like in your in your own life?
Like are you writing to like ayounger version of yourself?
Because I've already said I'mlike, like, I'm like Addy.
willowridge is basically my bigsister at this point.
(09:54):
Like, yeah, I want to say to LeoI, you know, I guess a little
bit of everything I was thinkinga little bit about the writing
process and how I create things.
And I think sometimes it's justruminating on a concept. This,
this doesn't sound like a funnything. But it truly is. When I
was thinking about the bounceback, I actually wanted to
explore failure. And what doesit mean to fail? How do you pick
(10:17):
yourself up? Who do you becomewhen you fail? Do you become
someone different? When youfail? Do you become more of
yourself? All of those kinds ofconcepts. And Sunil was really
kind of the perfect vehicle forthat. I had already read a book
where someone was verycompetent, and they just needed
the world to recognize it. Andwith this, I wanted the story to
(10:40):
almost be the inverse, wheresomeone else needed to recognize
for themselves that they werecompetent, that they could do
something. I think having goneto music school, having been an
artist, essentially, I guess,writers are considered artists.
I guess I'm still an artist.
Yeah, totally. Yeah. Like, I'mnot a musician anymore. But I'm
(11:01):
still an artist. Your art isevolving. Yeah. Or it is
evolving. Like, I'm one of thosepeople. Listeners can't see me,
but I'm making a weird face. Butyeah, so I wanted to kind of
explore growing up as an artisttoo, because I think there's
this sort of sense when you'reyounger, and an artist that if
you're not doing your art,exactly the way that you
(11:23):
envision it at exactly thismoment, and having this exact
kind of success, that it'sbetter to starve and suffer,
then create anything that isn't100% your vision at any time,
then you're a failure, or asellout and your life is
miserable, and you're not evenan artist refresh. And I think
that's something that a lot ofartists internalize, and then
(11:46):
feel guilt when they can sayonly paint on the weekends or
only creates their music afterwork, or you know, they're
playing at a jazz bar that alsoserves dinner, and that can't
possibly be art. And so I wantedto kind of explore, like, what
happens when someone who sort ofthinks a little bit about
(12:07):
themselves, and bases some oftheir value on not having to do
those things, has to either dothose things or address why
they're not doing those things?
And what about their life sortof allows them to not do those
things? What are the systemsthat allow them to just produce
art without having to have aside gig? Or how do they feel
once they've got a side gig, butthey're not necessarily
(12:29):
producing their art and thatfriction that comes with not
being exactly who you want to beall the time? And figuring out
who that is? I don't know ifthat makes sense.
Yeah, I think that makes a lotof sense. And I'm really glad
that you talked about like, thesystem specifically, because
you're right, like I look at, Ilook at friends that I have,
(12:50):
that are also pursuing their artthat are also at various stages
in their career, and you do seehow systems kind of play a role,
you know, i i in going back totech, yeah, you know, part of it
for me was I'm recovering fromburnout. I, you know, found
(13:10):
that, you know, like inrecovering from burnout, I
didn't hate it, you know, like,there is creativity in it, like
I do enjoy some of it. But atthe end of the day, if this
wasn't something that paidreally, really, really well, I
probably wouldn't be going backto it right now. And the reality
is that it's great. In a perfectworld, we're just, you know,
(13:32):
eating fruit and making art allday. You know, like, I've seen
things on Twitter's stuff that'sjust like, man, before the
colonizers came, we really justlike ate fruit and made art all
day. And that is, of course, theideal life. But you know, it's
like this balance between whatis ideal? And what is the
(13:53):
reality that we're actuallyfacing. And I think that that
was a lot of what Neil isgrappling with in in the book,
you know, what I mean? And Ilook at some people who are
pursuing their art and arefurther along, and they're
either willing to make certainsacrifices that I'm not as far
as you know, be living thatstarving artists lifestyle, I am
(14:14):
just, I'm just not at that stagein my life. Right now. I don't
want a roommate, you know,moving back in with my parents
isn't an option, like all thesedifferent things. But also, some
of them are just, you know, it'slike they have, you know, they
had a different life path wherethey just might have more
resources than me to be able topursue those things. And it's
(14:34):
usually some sort of combinationof that. And it so it's not so
much like who's more dedicatedto their art, it's more just
like Who, who, who has thingswithin the system like working
for and against them and who'swilling to either use that
privilege or, you know, kind ofdeal with the consequences of
(14:57):
not using that privilege becauselike, yeah, being transgender
like I need to have reallyexpensive health insurance to be
able to like keep my hormonetreatment going and stuff. So
it's like for me going tostarving artists route is just
never really going to be mything.
And I really think somethingthat stands out to me is that
there is this notion that youwould be happier if you could do
(15:20):
just like the flourishingartists situation. And I
actually think that so much ofart is reaction to life. And if
you're not living life, you'renot building relevant art to
assert. And at least at least,for me, one of the things that I
came to realize is that Iactually like having different
(15:43):
bits and pieces of my life. Idon't mind having a day job,
there are times where I'm like,oh, drop, that's frustrating. I
don't like it. Um, but the truthis, there are aspects of running
a book business, and I'm like,oh, yeah, really, I have to, I
have contractors, I have to callto do you know, design work for
this thing. And either way,there are going to be bits and
(16:07):
pieces of my life that I don'treally feel like doing no matter
what business I'm in. And Ithink as a society, we have this
tendency to really glamorizeartists and art as a creation.
Without thinking about thebusiness that makes are
possible, without thinking aboutthe structures that make your
art possible. And withoutthinking about the role you play
(16:31):
in making your art possible. AndI think there are times where we
can kind of buy into thisconcept that I have to be
uncomfortable to create, tocreate art, or that if I'm too
comfortable, my Oracle bat goodand it's actually a balance, I
think that makes art good. It'sthat that slight discomfort,
where like I want something alittle bit more, I feel
(16:52):
compelled to put something intothis world. So I'm not
completely like, complacentfloating away on a cloud. And I
don't feel motivated to saysomething because I think good
art says something or reflectssomething about the world,
right? So in some way, I have tosee a little bit of something
almost like a pearl, you know,or like, there's got to be sand
somewhere in there, in order forme to create something and for
(17:16):
artists to create something. Sobeing too comfortable isn't
going to yield art that ismeaningful, but being completely
just comfortably uncomfortable.
And to your point, not beingable to afford the kind of
health insurance that lets yoube who you are. You would never
create meaningful art that wayeither. Like, all of those
things kind of have to align anda lot of life as an artist is
just sort of figuring out, howdo I make that balance possible
(17:38):
for me, and for some people,that's a day job for some people
that is for some people to trustfund.
Yeah, for real. And, man, it itastounds me how often I can
bring the conversation of thisand so many of my podcast
episodes, but it, I think thatthis is just another symptom of
the fact that in our culture, weare obsessed with binaries, and
(18:02):
everything is either this orthat is either you or the
successful, you know, even noteven just an artist, but just
like an entrepreneur, you'redoing your own thing, and you're
thriving your own thing, oryou're a failure with a day job.
And there's no in between whenthe reality is, you know, just
like you said, like how manytimes have we enjoyed an artist,
(18:22):
especially musical artists,where they get fame after a
little while and a couple albumsdeep, you're like, oh, man, they
just they're not the way theyused to be anymore. They sold
out there, they're this they'rethat they don't relate they're,
you know, writing songs aboutthings that they're not right.
They didn't used to write about,or they're still writing about
the things they used to writeabout. And haven't they grown
and evolved as a person, youknow, there's, there's all these
(18:45):
different things. But also, likeyou said, yeah, like for me, I
can't make my art, whatever thatlooks like, when I'm worried
about how am I going to pay thebills like that is just not it's
it actually is easier for me tofocus when I know where my
money's coming in. And we're soobsessed with like, oh, you
(19:08):
should just be able to do yourown thing and have freedom. But
to me freedom is the fact that Ican go and you know, contract
out and yeah, technically I'm anemployee. But I'm making this
like really high hourly wage,which is a great privilege being
in tech. And I don't have toworry about like, the business,
(19:29):
it doesn't matter. I just comein and I do my thing. And then I
have all this extra brain spaceavailable for the art that I
want to do. You know, could Ibuild myself up so that I'm
either making money off of myart or like building my own tech
agencies from this likeentrepreneur? Sure I could be
but like, why? Because someoneelse says that this is a
(19:49):
definition of success. Andthat's why like I really I
really appreciated you know ofall of the conversations I had
in season one, though. One thatI had with you is the one that I
feel like, Man, I feel like I'mmost emulating what you talked
about, like having that freedomto be able to create art, and
(20:10):
know where the bills are, howthe bills are being paid, and
also just have that inspirationfor life like not be so
disconnected. That the art is inauthentic, I guess, is the word
I'm looking for.
I think one of the things that Ireally loved about kind of this
side of the publishing journey,when you write your first book,
(20:32):
you nobody knows who you are,nobody has read your stuff, you
don't really exist in the sameway. And then your art goes into
the world. And people read yourbook, and one of the things that
I've actually come to reallylove is talking to readers.
Because ultimately, that's,that's who I create for, right.
And that's whose world I'mwriting, I don't write, you
(20:55):
know, on the planet of Jupiter,an alien comes and bubbeleh. And
that's totally fine, if that'slike your vibe. But that's not
what I write, I write a lot ofpeople who have day jobs, who
have friend conflicts, who havefamily conflicts, who their car
breaks down, or their clothesare crappy, or just, you know,
kind of their some mundanethings. But I also think that
life can be really funny, evenwhen it's mundane, like the, you
(21:20):
know, that classic joke of likethe shopping bag breaking. And
it always happens in a movie.
And it's always a little bitfunny, but it's a little bit
funny. And when it happens toyou at the same time, you're
like, seriously, really come on.
But it's relatable for thatreason that you have had the
experience of Oh, come on. Andnow you're watching someone else
happen. And so in that sense, Iactually don't want to remove
(21:43):
myself too far from the worldthat my readers live in. Because
I like that my books, let themsee their own world in a way. Or
let them imagine the piecestheir world just slightly
different. Or even sometimesit's not even imagining the
world in different ways, justtaking them out of the moment.
They're in and allowing them tobe in a different kind of
(22:04):
moment.
Yeah, I think, no, I thinkthat's really cool. Like, take
taking bits of real life, andjust examining it and showing it
in a way that's really relatablebecause you're right, like even,
you know, like the Neilcharacter, like she's borrowing
her sister's clothes, becauseshe doesn't even know how to
(22:25):
dress for a regular job. Likethat's real. I, I feel that a
lot in a lot of differentplaces. Where I, and I think
some of this too, is like, forme, it's also just like being
black. I'm like, I'm always justlike, hyper aware of how I'm
like presenting to the world.
Like the first tech shot that Ihad, I was in this like, kind of
(22:46):
fancy office building in SantaMonica. We're in like, the
tallest building in SantaMonica, which is not saying a
lot, but yeah. Yeah, well, Imean, it was 21 stories. Thank
you very much.
No, downtown, but okay.
Yeah, no, not even close. Butum, we, we were the one tech
(23:08):
company in a building full ofmostly lawyers and real estate
developers. So we wereessentially the only office that
had a casual dress code. And Iremember talking to one of my
white colleagues, who is trulyjust like, jeans and an old,
like, banned t shirt orsomething like that, or graphic
T every day, which is fine,because hey, it's a tech
(23:30):
company. That's not what peoplewear. But I remember him saying
was something along the lines ofyeah, when whenever I get into
the elevator, it seems like allthese other like, corporate
drones, like, look at me, andthey're like, really jealous
that I'm, like, dressed likethis. And I'm like, really?
Because I feel like me with mylike, jeans and like, a plaid
(23:53):
shirt. Usually it would be likewhat I would wear. Like, I feel
like they're looking at me like,like, I don't belong, like
they're trying to assess why I'meven in the elevator, you know?
And they're like, it's like,like, Did you steal that key
card kid? Like, what are youdoing? You know, how are you
bringing something you scrub?
Like,right? Exactly. And I don't know
how much of that is, you knowthe difference in having white
(24:16):
man confidence and just assumingthat everyone's dazzled by you
versus not having that and howmuch of that is is a real
perception that these people arehaving the elevator but the
either way, you know if I hadbeen dressed in like a really
nice tailored suit, like allthese lawyer types where I went
into felt that way, and I thatis like a very new thing for me
(24:40):
like realizing how much thatstuff can matter. Like oh my
God, when I was at this wedding,I was just telling you, I
officiated my best friend'swedding. Over the last weekend.
I talked about it a little biton the podcast leading up
leading up to this episode. Butman, I felt like I like own the
place. You know what I mean?
They also they told me they'relike the officiant has a lot of
(25:02):
power. And they shouldn't havetold me that. But I just I felt
very powerful. I knew I knew Ilooked good in that suit, like,
those kinds of things do make adifference. And those are some
of the like, the little detailsin life that we don't really
talk about or think about veryoften.
Yeah, and I also think feelinglike you belong in that suit is
kind of at least part of thestory that I was trying to tell
(25:24):
with Neil is that she'sconstantly putting on these
costumes or identities, and thenfeeling like maybe they're not
quite her or not quite right. Orit's not quite who she wants to
be, even when she you know, hasmore comfortable setup at the
beginning of the book. She'swearing a costume. And then
throughout the story, she'sshe's wearing different people's
(25:45):
clothes, and she's borrowingthings and trying to build an
identity that just doesn't quitedoesn't fit her. And I think
part of spoiler alert, if you'renot familiar with the genre of
romance, they always endhappily. The book kind of works
itself out is Neal becomingcomfortable in Neil's clothing
(26:06):
and finding her identity and whoshe wants to be. And that's what
I love about your suit stories.
Like, you're wearing this suit,and you're like, I belong in
this. I feel good. And that'sjust amazing.
Thank you. Yeah, it was, it wasa really cool feeling. I I love
(26:26):
that idea that like all romancenovels, always. And happily,
it's just like rom coms. Likethe movies, like they just
they're not there, it's just notgoing to have a sad ending. It's
a nice little escape fromreality.
If you're reading a romancenovel, and it ends poorly,
you're not reading a romancenovel novel, you're reading a
love story. And that is like, inthe romance writer, community,
(26:49):
this is like our big like,fight, not even fight just like
our big delineation, if you'rewriting romance, it ends
halfway, it's called an ETA andhappy for now. HFM, right. So it
doesn't have to end in likemarriage and a baby and all that
kind of thing, you just have toend on a high. And that's the
promise that you make the readerright. And that's actually why I
(27:11):
like writing in the genre. Andwhy I love reading the genre,
because you see all differentkinds of people, no matter what
they've done, no matter wherethey start, at the end of the
beginning of the book, you knowthat at the end, they will be
found worthy of lovingthemselves and being loved.
Which is ultimately why I thinkromance is probably the most
popular fiction genre, becausepeople actually need to know
(27:34):
that they are worthy of beingloved and loving themselves. And
it's just really reassuring, Ithink, and particularly in times
like these that are reallychallenging, being able to write
that and give somebody thatreassurance that hey, you're
worthy. Is such a gift. Likeit's my favorite part of what I
do.
(27:55):
I love that. And that and that'ssuch a good point. You know,
like, knowing your worth, andbeing able to see stories that
exemplify that is reallyimportant. And I feel like I
don't know, it's it's weird. Ifeel like there's a lot of
people that are like, oh, astory, you know, like, that's
(28:15):
not what real life is. You'rejust escaping bla bla bla bla
bla bla bla. And I'm like, whata what a sad view on reality,
like I've never, because evenjust like with TV shows and
movies, like I always preferthings that are happier. And my
whole thing is like, I feel likeI feel everything like I
understand how fucked up theworld is, I don't want my
(28:36):
entertainment to further remindme of that. I feel like my
entertainment needs to help mefill up my cup so that I can go
out and deal with the not sogreat aspects of the world.
Yeah, and I really, I, I thinkit's an interesting cultural
commentary that we have as, assort of, you and I are both in
(28:59):
the States for listening, whomaybe abroad, like Americans, in
particular have this sense thatif something is whimsical or
joyful, it isn't a value. Andthat's just simply not true. But
we choose to love stories wheresuffering is at the core,
particularly for minorities, orpeople with marginalized
identities in this country. Ifyou're not suffering, we don't
(29:20):
even bother to tell your story.
And I really feel like as aromance writer, and as a black
woman, a huge part of my goalwas to tell stories that center
our joy and remind people thatit's okay for them to be loved
and to be joyful to feel loveand joy. Even after going
through challenges, like herstill jokes to be had in
(29:43):
challenging moments. And notjust because I'm the kind of
person who laughs at a funeral,but because we should all be
able to laugh a little right.
And so for me, and I think a lotof my romance writer friends,
particularly those of us whohave marginalized identities
It's really a special sort ofmantle that we carry, to make
(30:04):
sure that we are sharing imagesand words and scenes of joy for
people that otherwise we don'tget to see any media
experiencing joy. I was laughingwith a friend of mine who is a
lesbian. And she was talkingabout how she only recently
started reading romance. And shehad said, you know, before that
(30:27):
I was used to the stereotype ofthe rope, the lesbian dies at
the end, that is just across theboard, any storytelling
involving lesbians, we have todie at the end, it was not in
romance, you don't good news.
I've I got stories for you. AndI love that the genre is it
we're doing a slightly betterjob, or I should say independent
(30:48):
publishing has opened up a lotof doors for people with
marginalized identities, to putthese kinds of stories out into
the world. In the past, wedidn't have access to those
kinds of stories. So you and Ihad to grow up without ever
seeing a version of ourselves ina joyful position or a position
of success or accomplishment isjust kind of like a you're gonna
be a drug lord, because that'sthe only person who can have any
(31:12):
money on TV. That's it. That'sall you got. Good luck. Yeah.
Um, and I love being a part ofan artistic movement that is
giving us something else.
Right? It's it's great becauserepresent representation
matters. And it's happeningeverywhere, folks. Even in
(31:34):
romance novels. Yes. Oh, my God,look at the time. How are we
already running out of time? Didyou want to ask me a question
cuz I don't think I ever let youlike ask an actual question.
You totally did. I askedquestions. No, that's that's the
whole point of this though. It'sit's supposed to be a
conversation. I'm actuallyamazed. I didn't take any notes.
(31:54):
I'm usually like, I gotta writestuff down. So forget, like what
we're talking about. And I cancircle back and I, we just let
this flow the so all thelisteners, although you didn't
get to hear all the juicy stuffwe talked about before we hit
record, you did hear a verynaturally flowing conversation,
which I loved and I love havingyou on. Yes, aside from plugging
(32:17):
the book, of course, is thereanything else that you would
like to add that you feel likeyou'd be remiss if you if you
didn't share it with ourlisteners?
Thank I feel like my theme rightnow is just like you're worthy
of joy and love. Like this isthe kind of season I think we're
(32:37):
heading into where it can beeasy to forget, you know, as
winter kind of things getdarker. In some places, you're
heading into elections that canbe emotional or distressing. And
I think a lot of people arechanging jobs right now, let's
not pretend we're not still in apandemic. There's a lot of
hardness, just kind of exitingwork. There's a lot of
(32:58):
difficulty floating around. I'ma professional writers. I just
anyonecan do it, but you get paid to
make them up. Right.
That's what writers really like.
If I make up a word, it canpotentially go into the
dictionary with a spinner. Socongratulations. Start using it.
Maybe Miriam's will agree. Butyeah, I guess the thing that I
(33:19):
just want to remind listeners isa read some romance, be you are
worthy of love, you are worthyof experiencing joy, even when
times are a little bit hard.
You're worth it. That's what Iwould like to remind people of,
it's the most big sister thingto remind someone of ever.
(33:39):
Yeah, I love it. You're worthyof love, read a romance book,
read some romance may very wellbecome the title of this
episode.
Please, please make that thetitle of this episode. And like,
listeners, if you don't knowwhere to start with romance, and
you're looking for somethinglike, I'm on Twitter, I'm on
Instagram, like, tweet at me orwhatever. And I will do my very
(34:02):
best to like find something thatlines up with the things that
you love. Because I'm verypassionate about getting people
to read romance.
I love it. I love that there islike something for everybody.
But also Hey, listen, if you ifyou're feeling weird about that
you want to reach out there'sliterally links in the show
notes to this episode. So justjust just read these books, just
just start. Alright guys, thankyou so much for coming on. Where
(34:26):
Where would you like to be foundon the World Wide Web?
Good question. So um, I think Isaid I'm on Twitter at Addy
writes or Adewole read. You canfind me. I'm Graham. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they're in the shownotes.
I'm on Instagram. I have awebsite and Addy Woolridge just
about everywhere.
(34:47):
Okay, you are just aboutAwesome. Thank you, Addy.
willowridge for coming on. Thishas been a blast. As always at
Hey, I'll see you when the thirdbook comes out. Right All right.
Yes. I hopefully I'll have someupdates for people soon. So,
fingers.
Awesome. Looking forward to it.
Talk to you later.
(35:10):
ByeAll right, once again, that was
Addy Woolridge. Always fun totalk to you at he cannot wait
for book number three. Hopefullythere's there's something in the
works there so that we can haveyou back on the show again. Or,
you know, you could also comeback on without a book to
promote. But, you know. Anyway,as promised, there is a new way
(35:34):
to support the Leo Yockey showother than rating, reviewing and
subscribing. Though, please keepthose coming in. Thank you so
much for all of your reviews,they really are like currency in
this field. I am now anaffiliate on bookshop.org. So
that means that if you go to thelink in the show notes to
purchase either of Addy willridges books, the checklist or
(35:56):
the bounce back, you'll besupporting both her and this
show. I'm going to be addingmore stuff to that bookshop in
the future books that I highlyrecommend stuff like that. And I
highly recommend checking outboth books, both the checklist
and the bounce back and rereadthem in the order that they came
out. That's just my take. Andthe other big announcement is
(36:19):
that for the foreseeable future,the Leo Yockey show will be a bi
weekly podcast. That means thatwe'll only be having new
episodes once every two weeks.
So that's going to startimmediately. The next episode
will be with my new friend CrissAngel Murphy, I believe I think
(36:40):
that's the one I have coming upnext. But either way, no matter
which one it is that will becoming out on Tuesday, November
9. The next episode after that Ibelieve will be with my friend
Stephanie not Stephanie somaticsfrom the season one finale a
different Stephanie, equallydeep conversation that will be
coming out on Tuesday, November23. I think that's a Tuesday.
(37:05):
Anyway, thank you so much againfor being on this journey with
me. I'm going to go lie down andsleep until this flu goes away.
Please continue to wear yourmasks and wash your hands and
stay socially distance whereverpossible. We basically
eradicated the flu last year andit's already back in Los
(37:25):
Angeles. Isn't that lovely?
Anyway, stay safe out there.
Enjoy the next couple of weeksand stay evolving.
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