May 13, 2025 • 36 mins
Join us for a heartwarming conversation with Pastor Fleischmann's mother, Helen Fleischmann. When Helen married at 17 and became a mother at 18, she never questioned whether she was "ready." Now, at 87 years old, this remarkable woman reflects on raising four boys beginning in a converted train car, immigrating from the Netherlands without knowing English, and building a legacy that spans 16 grandchildren and 17 great-grandchildren.
The conversation weaves through Helen's extraordinary life – from meeting her husband at a dance and getting married after just six weeks, to managing three boys in diapers simultaneously while her husband worked 12-hour days. What emerges is a profound contrast between today's approach to motherhood and Helen's refreshingly straightforward philosophy: "I had what I wanted – my children – and that was our first priority when we got married."
Helen's story challenges our modern obsession with having perfect circumstances before embracing parenthood. Despite modest beginnings, she created a home centered on faith, love, and genuine connection. She took in babysitting, ironing, and laundry rather than pursuing outside employment because "I wanted to raise my own children and I never regretted it."
Beyond her biological family, Helen opened her heart to create an extended family network. Family photos include many "unofficial" grandparents who became integral parts of their lives. This expansive view of family continues today as she devotes herself to caring for her daughter-in-law facing health challenges, saying simply, "If my house suffers from not getting everything done, well, sooner or later it will."
Her early experiences during World War II – running to bomb shelters while her mother instructed her to "don't let go of my dress" – instilled a perspective that puts modern conveniences and challenges into sharp focus. For today's mothers feeling overwhelmed, Helen offers wisdom earned through nearly nine decades: "It isn't as difficult as people make it. It's not that difficult, but you gotta pick your priorities and if they're not in the right place it's not gonna work."
Listen in to this Mother's Day conversation that will leave you reflecting on what truly matters in building a meaningful family legacy. Share this episode with a mother who could use some encouragement or perspective from a woman who has lived a life rich with purpose, sacrifice, and abundant love.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Helen Fleischmann (00:18):
On today's episode so that they would do
the same thing with theirchildren.
But I also in my whole lifehave had, were blessed I should
say blessed but the dearestfriends of ours, oh, yeah, yeah.
And our children had severalgrandparents that weren't
(00:39):
they're legitimate grandparents,but they called them Grandma
and Grandpa.
Christa Potratz (01:06):
Welcome to the Life Challenges podcast from
Christian Life Resources of mygrandparents, but they called
him issues and more.
Join us now for Life Challenges.
Hi and welcome back.
I'm Krista Potratz and I'm heretoday with pastors Bob
Fleischman and Jeff Samuelson,and today we have a very special
episode to bring to you.
We are going to be doing ourMother's Day episode and we have
(01:28):
a very special mom here with ustoday too.
Today we have Helen Fleischman,as you might note, I know our
audience is very smart andintelligent.
Fleischman is Bob's name here,so we have Bob's mom in the
studio here today recording.
And welcome, helen, we're soglad you could join us today.
(01:51):
Thank you, I'm excited to do it.
Good, good, we particularlywant to do this episode to talk
about moms, and Christian LifeResources does a lot of work
with families and with moms andthe home for mothers and
everything, and we really justwanted to shine a spotlight on
(02:13):
motherhood today, and so we justwe're excited to have you with
us.
I think maybe a good place tostart here is if you want to
just tell us a little bit aboutyourself, if you maybe knew that
you always wanted to be a mom,or just a little bit about your
(02:33):
background and journey intomotherhood a very large family.
Helen Fleischmann (02:48):
My parents had seven children and the last
three came a little later inlife because my parents got
divorced and then she remarried,and when we immigrated to the
United States I was 16, and myyoungest brother was one year
old and the second one was twoyears old and I had an
eight-year-old sister.
So those little boys were veryattached to me because I have
(03:15):
loved children forever and everand they have both grown up to
be good young men.
However, they've passed onsince then, and when I met my
husband, I met him shortly afterI came to America.
When I met my husband, it waslove at first sight.
(03:39):
He was shy, quiet, so I figuredwell, that way I get to do all
the talking.
That was a bargain.
And the second one was we bothloved children and we talked
about it.
I met him at a dance and I hadtwo of my brothers with me
(04:00):
because they were fabulousdancers and I actually taught
dancing in the Netherlands, sohe walked over to us because he
could hear us speaking Dutch.
When we came to America none ofus knew a word of English,
except maybe yes and no.
So when we got together on ourown, so when we got together on
(04:23):
our own, we were always talkingDutch and he walked over to us
and I've never forgotten this.
Bob Fleischmann (04:37):
He asked me if I was Mexican.
Yep, I could see that.
Helen Fleischmann (04:41):
Now I'm lily white, not looking Mexican or
anything.
So I said no.
I said you know, we're fromHolland and he thought that was
the coolest thing.
He asked me to dance with himthree times and then he brought
(05:03):
me a flower that they wereselling there and my oldest
brother was getting nervous.
He said you're not going homewith any stranger.
I said you're right about that,because I probably will never
know what he's saying to me,that I shouldn't accept or
anything.
But he walked me out and thenwe just walked a little ways
away so that we could talk toeach other as best I could, and
(05:25):
then he asked me if he could seeme again.
I was actually working as ananny, taking care of children
which I loved.
So I said, well, if you like,you can kiss me goodbye, and I
heard his knees knocking.
He was that shy.
(05:45):
But then at the second meetingwe were talking like we were
going to get married tomorrowmorning.
We were talking about he askeddo you like children?
And I said, oh golly, yes.
I said I want to have sevenchildren when I get married.
We came to our senses after four, especially after we had Bob
(06:08):
first.
That was just an outstandingexperience for me.
And he was in the service,which I didn't know.
He didn't have his uniform onwhen I met him, so I didn't
realize that he was in theservice, so I wasn't sold on the
uniform, like so many girls did.
And when he came to visit us Iwanted to introduce him to my
(06:33):
mom and dad.
They were very strict that Ialways introduce a boyfriend to
them.
And then we all went to thesame dance.
But my brother was driving andBob and I were in the front seat
and we were in a car accidentand big, great, big trailer
(06:54):
truck head on and the car thatwe hit had two children in it
which, thank the Lord, weren'tkilled.
The people weren't eitherchildren in it, which thank the
Lord weren't killed.
The people weren't either, butthat was very, very scary.
But I did have a cut in my kneeand they had to stitch that up
(07:16):
and everything.
And this was the second date.
Yeah, that was on our seconddate, okay.
And my mother always said thetwo of you had the love knocked
into you when you had theaccident, apparently, but Bob
and I both went through thewindshield, but Bob was not hurt
at all.
So, anyway, then he startedcoming every weekend, so that
(07:41):
worked out okay.
And then we actually only kneweach other six weeks and we got
married Wow, six weeks.
So, and thanks to my husband, Ibecame a wealth Lutheran.
I was baptized Catholic, but myparents never went to church
(08:03):
and we never had a Bible in ourhouse.
So I have really enjoyed that.
I was so excited to hear what Iheard and I was always a
willing learner about things youknow.
So I did a lot of work in thechurch, always that we were in
(08:25):
and everything that my husbandwas in, I was in, and we were
the perfect team.
Christa Potratz (08:33):
So how old were you then when you got married,
and how old were you when Bobcame along?
Bob Jr was 18.
Bob Fleischmann (08:40):
You were 17 when you got married.
You were 18, when I was born.
Christa Potratz (08:44):
So you were 17 when you got married, 18 when
you had Bob.
Yeah, and so he came.
Helen Fleischmann (08:50):
We were so excited that we had our first
three children in four years.
Wow, and there was a questionon here what was the hardest
part of being a mom?
Yes, yes when all three of themhad the flu at the same time.
That was the hardest.
My husband worked 12 hours aday and I was always alone with
(09:11):
the kiddos, you know.
Christa Potratz (09:12):
Mm-hmm.
Helen Fleischmann (09:14):
But yeah, that was probably the worst time
I ever had.
And our number two son was alittle bit of a challenge.
You had to really hold yourthumb on him.
But I never believed in tellingdaddy, telling the kids, when
daddy comes home, you're goingto get it.
I thought, what daddy wants tocome home to that I can take
(09:38):
care of these boys.
I grew up with five brothers.
Christa Potratz (09:42):
So you grew up with five brothers, and then you
grew up with five brothers, andthen you had four boys.
Yep, wow, okay.
Bob Fleischmann (09:48):
She was unusually well-equipped to
handle the challenge.
Christa Potratz (09:53):
A boy mom here with four boys.
Helen Fleischmann (09:56):
Oh, I loved my boys and I still do.
Bob Fleischmann (09:58):
I adore them all, yeah, so you can imagine
how giddy she was when I hadfive daughters.
It was a whole different world.
Helen Fleischmann (10:06):
See, and isn't that a typical Bob thing?
I can show you how to do it.
Yeah, yeah.
So, oh, yeah, wonderfulgranddaughters.
We have 16 grandchildren, 16great-grandchildren, and number
17 is on the way.
Wow, wow, a couple months.
Christa Potratz (10:30):
So what do you think has helped you the most in
your journey as a mom?
Helen Fleischmann (10:37):
Well, the first thing, of course, is
getting to know the Lord the wayI should have had, which I
didn't do, and I always talkedto the Lord out loud.
Lord, help me with this, lord,help me with that.
And I want to be the best mom Icould be.
I wanted my children to grow upin the church so that they
would do the same thing withtheir children.
(10:58):
But I also, in my whole life,have had, were blessed I should
say blessed but the dearestfriends of Bob oh, yeah, yeah.
And our children had severalgrandparents that weren't their
legitimate grandparents, butthey called them grandma and
grandpa.
Christa Potratz (11:19):
Yeah, I think Bob has mentioned that in the
past too about you just takingin some people from either the
church or the community intoyour home and that they did kind
of become like family to yourboys.
Bob Fleischmann (11:34):
Oh yeah, we have a lot of family pictures in
which they're not all bloodrelatives.
I mean they were, you know,grandma Fran, grandpa Clarence.
I mean they were just, theywere widowed or single and
pretty soon.
They're in every picture.
Helen Fleischmann (11:50):
And I loved taking care of people that
needed help, and I still do.
I mean, diane is my firstconcern.
I drop everything, but Bobneeds me.
And just to say something niceabout Bob is he's the same way
(12:10):
about us.
Yeah, I just adore my familyand I adore my friends.
I have friends with one ladythat's just all over me and she
called me this morning and shesaid I'm going to bring my
girlfriend over and we're goingto help you get your house back
in order.
And my husband was a wonderful,wonderful man and we were
(12:32):
married 69 blessed years and wewere a team.
Every day we always had stuffto talk about.
Of course, we had a lot ofchildren and grandchildren to
keep us excited, but my husbandadored the kids and, even as old
as he was, when the little onescame, he always laid on the
(12:54):
floor and was horsing aroundwith them.
Christa Potratz (12:56):
Yeah, I bet he supported you a lot in your
motherhood journey too.
Helen Fleischmann (13:00):
Oh gosh, yes, we were the perfect team,
perfect team.
Bob Fleischmann (13:05):
You know, one of the things just recalling.
I don't really recall myparents, you know, sitting down
telling us to be pro-life ortelling us that abortion was
wrong or things like that, butrather there was kind of a you
know, have us put our hand onyour belly.
You know and feel a move whichreally creeped me out, just so
(13:40):
that you know that now.
Christa Potratz (13:41):
But I just was how old were you at the time
when she was pregnant?
Bob Fleischmann (13:46):
Well, I think I'm eight years older than Dave,
so I had to be seven or eight.
I've often said that when Ipresent too, is that you really
have to be taught to want totake the life of an unborn child
, because I think every instinctis that it's miraculous, it's
incredible, it's the kind ofthing that gets passed down by
(14:10):
example unless you are mindedagainst it.
But it kind of like, I think,because instinctively you know,
and family was always big onboth sides, and I know both
families were hard, you know,growing up in the Netherlands
and my dad growing up in kind ofrural southeast Wisconsin.
They had tough lives andeverything but family always
(14:31):
meant something.
It was probably played out morethan it was taught, you know.
In other words, you justpresumed.
That's not only a credit to theway that I think I was raised,
but I think there's a messagethere for everybody, and that is
you don't have to try so hardto teach it as much as to live
it yeah.
Jeff Samelson (14:52):
In your story you mentioned a few things that are
not now the way they were thenand at your I'll assume 39 years
of age.
(15:12):
Now you've had that motherstoday might not understand about
motherhood, might notappreciate about motherhood
Things that you know if you hadthe opportunity to speak to a
lot of mothers at once, or evennot yet married women or women
who don't yet have children.
What are the things that you'dwant them to understand yet?
Helen Fleischmann (15:34):
have children , what are the things that you'd
want them to understand?
Well, I think we'll fail to thenext generation.
And it happened, because in mybook this is how I feel about it
People became so selfish thatthe minute they got married,
they'd have a big home andeverything in it, and you should
(15:55):
see some of the places myhusband and I lived in, and we
were just as happy as we are inthis house.
You know that was all we couldafford at the time Great.
But and you know, when mom anddad are out working during the
day and they come home, you'reexhausted at the end of the day
when you've got four boys inyour house.
(16:15):
But I didn't go to work untilmy children were raised.
I wanted to raise my ownchildren and I even took in
babysitting.
I babysat for people and I tookin ironing and I took in
laundry to make some extra money.
And I never regretted itbecause I got to raise my own
(16:36):
children and that's what Iwanted to do and I thought I
don't care how poor we get, aslong as we have food for the
kids and us and everybody.
The rest will come later.
You know, and I was just ashappy every place I've lived in.
I've lived here.
What I love the most now isthat I'm next door to one of my
(16:58):
sons.
We've never lived that close,but in all the years that we've
lived next to each other we havenever had a bad word, huh Bob.
Bob Fleischmann (17:07):
Well, there was .
Helen Fleischmann (17:08):
Maybe once you got home.
Bob Fleischmann (17:10):
There was that one time.
Helen Fleischmann (17:11):
No, no, it's just yeah no-transcript.
Bob Fleischmann (18:04):
I know Jeff was being very polite about your
age, but I often thought one ofthe most remarkable things my
mom's going to turn 87 on Monday.
Helen Fleischmann (18:12):
I haven't forgotten your birthday.
You should have never told him.
Bob Fleischmann (18:15):
That was so nice, what he thought.
Helen Fleischmann (18:17):
You just destroyed my whole day.
Bad words coming.
Bob Fleischmann (18:22):
No, I mean, God bless both of them.
My father passed away last weekand he passed away at 90, and
he turned 90 on Easter and,remarkable, his mind was intact
and so forth, and my parents andso as a result, you know, we
can talk about things we have todo to manage, you know, to care
for Diane or something likethat, and it's a normal
(18:44):
conversation.
We've been fortunate in thatregard that not every family has
had, because some have wrestledwith dementia in the family or
other real difficult diseases todeal with, and so we've been
very fortunate and so that'sbeen good.
And again, when they look atyour children you know, jeff and
Krista, when people look atyour children, they're already
(19:07):
guessing Is he like the motheror the father?
Is she like the mother or thefather?
You know, and more this way,more that way.
A lot of people say I takeafter my mom most and I would
say the spitfire in me is thatmy dad was always the kind of
guy that would go oh, I don'twork so hard, you know, you
should sit back.
(19:27):
I said, dad, you're retired,I'm not, you know.
But that's what he was my mom,but that's what he was my mom
going on 87, is more the kindlike okay, what should I start
now?
And so in that sense you do it.
But you also model that mybrothers are actively engaged in
all sorts of activities and Ithink a lot of that, and so we
(19:57):
got from my dad kind of a strongsense of family.
You know, I used to tell thestory that when I was confirmed
I was going to quit the churchand when mom had announced that
we had to get dressed for churchon Saturday night, I announced
that I wasn't going to go tochurch.
I'd gone to confirmation classand everything.
And my dad just calmly said inthe Fleischman home, we live
under a dictatorship and youwill be going to church.
(20:18):
And that's kind of the role thatmy dad he would just kind of
announce the decrees and my momwould gleefully take on the role
of the enforcer.
Christa Potratz (20:29):
Yeah, because she didn't have to wait for your
dad to come home.
Bob Fleischmann (20:32):
No, she didn't have to wait for her dad to come
home.
No, she didn't have to.
It was kind of more like SusanI was so excited about church.
Yeah.
Helen Fleischmann (20:38):
Kids say I don't want to go to church, Like
this is not up for option.
Yeah, you wanted to go, you'regoing, yeah.
Christa Potratz (20:45):
That makes such a difference, I think in a home
too, when you just have twoparents, especially that are
going to come and say thatthat's a priority in a family,
one of the things.
I mean.
It just really hits me too howyoung you were when you became a
mom, and I think that's one ofthe things we hear today,
(21:12):
especially from women who saythat they need to have an
abortion because they're notready to be a mom.
What would you say to somebodywho would say that, that they
just feel like they're not readyyet.
Helen Fleischmann (21:26):
Why did you get pregnant?
Christa Potratz (21:28):
I mean they don't have to get pregnant.
Helen Fleischmann (21:32):
Yeah, yeah, and if your decision was that
you weren't going to keep thatbaby.
Don't kill it, because it ismurder in my book and because I
love my children.
So I lay awake at nightsometimes thinking what is that
like To lose a child?
Christa Potratz (21:47):
Yeah.
Bob Fleischmann (21:48):
Well, is it an accurate statement, mom, that
whether you were found out youwere pregnant with me or you
found out you were pregnant withmy youngest brother, david, you
almost never feel ready?
I know you know, with the fivegirls each one that would come
along in our family, I mean youknow it's like we're going to
have to adjust.
I mean a lot of people whenthey think they're not ready, I
(22:09):
often wonder if they're lookingat the wrong things.
Because if you think you're,you know most.
Any mother I've ever talked toalways says you never, all of a
sudden, that feeling ofresponsibility and everything.
You never feel ready.
Jeff Samelson (22:23):
Yeah, I think the unreadiness is just the name
they're giving to fear.
Bob Fleischmann (22:27):
Yeah.
Jeff Samelson (22:28):
Fear.
You know I'm not, I'm afraidI'm not up to this, and they
don't realize that they're kindof making excuses for themselves
in that sense, and I think too,like just kind of how you were
saying, Helen.
Christa Potratz (22:39):
Just our priorities nowadays seem like
okay, yeah, we have to have thehouse and the job and all these
things before we bring in kidsinto the world.
We just have to do all thesethings and then we'll have the
right stuff and the rightmindset to have children.
Helen Fleischmann (23:01):
See, I never felt I had to prepare for that.
I never thought about that.
I was so excited when I had myfirst boy.
And then the second one cameright along, the third one came
right along, and all three ofthem were in diapers at one time
.
Christa Potratz (23:18):
Oh wow, it's a job that long to be true, why
did I feel that coming?
Jeff Samelson (23:26):
I'm getting better.
I think one aspect of whythings are different today is,
you know, it's related to themedia.
I'm not so much blaming it,it's just that it's so much
easier for women today who mightbe thinking about motherhood to
just have taken in this ideathat everything needs to be
(23:48):
perfect that Krista wasmentioning.
Okay, we've already got to havethe house.
We can't be waiting saving upfor it.
We've got to have that now andin the right neighborhood.
And we got to be living wherethe schools are good so that
when the kid gets older he'sgoing.
You know all these kinds ofthings, and I want to make sure
I've had the experiences already.
That will then enrich ourfamily, rather than having the
(24:10):
family first and then having theexperiences together and all of
that.
Oh yeah, and of course, thereare all the mommy blogs and
things like that that are allabout, oh, this is a perfect
motherhood and so this is whatyou need to aim for.
What advice would you give towomen and mothers who really
have this mentality that theyprobably aren't even consciously
(24:31):
aware of that?
Everything just needs to beperfect.
Helen Fleischmann (24:34):
I would probably talk to them about it,
Tell them how we lived and Inever thought about oh, I wish I
had this, I wish I had that.
I had what I wanted my childrenand that was our first priority
when we got married, Bob and Iboth wanted a large family.
Bob Fleischmann (24:55):
You know, what was interesting is you guys
never were career-minded.
I mean, my dad was a lifelongtool and die maker and so forth,
and there wasn't this careeraspiration I need to keep
advancing.
We got to the point where youone day eventually owned your
house.
By the time we were moving upthere, we were all in school
already, and as I look back,even to the mistakes I made in
(25:19):
child rearing, you do findyourself tricked into trying to
make heaven on earth, and soyou're always looking for the
bigger house and the nicer joband the better career, and I
want to see all the sightsbefore this and before all that
happens, and I don't everremember that being priorities.
In our house.
We found the pleasure insimpler things.
Christa Potratz (25:41):
How did your motherhood journey change from
having little kids to havingolder children?
I mean, because now you're amom with older boys.
Helen Fleischmann (25:51):
Oh it's kind of nice.
It's like having more kids,except somebody else brought
them into the world.
But I love them and I hug them.
I still have a lot of energyfor a person my age.
Christa Potratz (26:02):
Yeah.
Helen Fleischmann (26:02):
And I actually that's the only thing
I've worked on on purposebecause my husband was declining
.
He was three years older than Iwas and I thought, if he's
going to need me to be thecaregiver which my husband
always said you ought to makethe best caregiver.
And he always said to me youknow, if it gets to be too much,
(26:24):
put me in a nursing home.
I said you will never see theinside of a nursing home as long
as I'm on my feet.
So yeah, the people I love, Itruly love, and I must have
enough to spread around becauseI'm loved by a lot of other
people.
Bob Fleischmann (26:42):
Well, and the children and grandchildren given
a choice would almost always goto my mom and dad first.
My grandchildren that live inIowa.
When they came up to visit theyimmediately, before they even
said hi to us, ran over nextdoor to see them.
I'm going to put the bestconstruction on that and say it
was a better commentary on momand dad, it wasn't a commentary
(27:04):
on me.
Helen Fleischmann (27:05):
Well, there's so much to love in this world,
and if people would just keeptheir heads straight and figure
out how to do that, life can bewonderful.
Bob and I had a wonderful,wonderful life.
And do I miss him?
Oh golly.
Yes, my sad he's gone, oh yeah,but I now want to be here for
(27:31):
my children and grandchildren.
I still have the strength to doit and I want to outlast Diane
so that I can help her.
So I'm not selfish.
If my house suffers from notgetting everything done, well,
sooner or later it will.
Christa Potratz (27:50):
Well, when you say that too, about how you're
willing to suffer for yourhealth has to suffer while you
take care of other people, thatjust really I think it hits me,
just that sacrifice aspect ofmotherhood, and I think you know
, and especially in a worldtoday where we're told that you
really have to take care ofyourself and self-care is so
(28:13):
important.
And you know you can't take careof other people if you haven't
really put in the effort toyourself.
Here you're saying I'm willingto take care of other people,
even if myself fades.
It's just it hits differently.
Helen Fleischmann (28:32):
Well, I think that's why God put us here.
We're expected to look aftereach other.
Yeah yeah, the very first housemy husband and I lived in was a
remodeled car train car.
Bob Fleischmann (28:47):
Yeah, it was a train car.
Helen Fleischmann (28:49):
They had made an apartment out of it.
Christa Potratz (28:51):
Like the boxcar children.
Yeah, that's what I think,that's what we were.
Helen Fleischmann (28:57):
And the first thing I did in that apartment
was they had in previous, theyhad a smoker in there.
I washed all the walls in thereand I helped paint it and made
it look homey and clean.
And my husband said are all theDutch women like that?
I go?
Yeah, they even scrub thestreets every Friday.
They did.
(29:18):
They are very clean people.
Bob Fleischmann (29:22):
During the memorial service or something
that we had for dad earlier thisweek, I overheard you talking
to somebody about how yourmother, my grandma, saved your
lives multiple times because shewas mothering you during World
War II and I remember duringCOVID my mom would say to us
(29:44):
okay, so we got to stay at home.
That sure beats having to runto bomb shelters.
She remembered that and that'swhat you were saying.
Is that a number of timesgrandma had to sit there and
corral you guys up and get youover to a bomb shelter because
there was no.
Your father had left.
And you still, you model again.
I want to just emphasizemodeling it, and that's what she
(30:07):
did.
She modeled it.
Helen Fleischmann (30:09):
My mother was a hero in my book because there
was very, very little food andevery time the sirens went off
we had to run to the shelters.
And Carl was little yet, so sheused to carry him while running
and she always wore a dress.
(30:29):
Well, back then women didn'twear slacks and she always wore
a dress.
And the whole time she'srunning, holding onto my little
brother, she said don't let goof my dress, don't let go of my
dress the whole time we'rerunning, because she didn't even
have time to turn around andlook and see if all three of us
were following.
Yet, you know, and thathappened many, many, many times.
Bob Fleischmann (30:52):
But I think that created some of that
instinct that you have.
Christa Potratz (30:56):
Any final advice for the moms out there
listening that are maybe goingthrough things, or just any
thoughts?
Helen Fleischmann (31:08):
Well, I would say the biggest thought that is
in my mind every day from thetime I became a Christian was
talk to the Lord when you'retroubled.
Gather around your friends andbe a good friend.
You'll have them for a lifetime.
I've had friends for a lifetimeand it isn't as difficult as
(31:33):
people make it.
It's not that difficult, butyou gotta pick your priorities
and if they're not in the rightplace it's not gonna work.
I've sacrificed a lot of thingsfor my boys, but I never
regretted it.
You know, if they needed itmore than I did, I gave it to
them.
They came first and they'restill that way in my heart.
(31:57):
Therefore, they come first andthat's why I'm going to stick it
out with Diane when she startsto feel sorry for herself.
Then I bring up things that thelatest one I brought up that she
really appreciated and neverthought of was I said you do
(32:18):
realize that even with yourcurrent condition, you have no
pain anywhere.
I said I have seen people thatwere in pain and that is
probably a lot worse than abrain tumor.
I said you have no painanywhere and you know?
(32:40):
I said sometimes you don't feellike eating the next day.
You're fine, you eat.
So I said keep looking at thebright side, what you still do
have.
You have a husband that fallsall over you.
You got a mother-in-law that'scrazy about you and you got a
father-in-law who's crazy aboutyou.
I said eat all that stuff up,don't sit and worry.
(33:04):
I said eat all that stuff up,don't sit and worry.
Because, the worst thing shesaid to me is I feel like I just
have to sit here and wait todie.
I said no, no, no, there arestill things to do.
There are still things to doand things to pray about.
I said there are people who aresofter than you are, believe it
or not.
Bob Fleischmann (33:26):
There is.
Helen Fleischmann (33:27):
And then she says you are, believe it or not,
there is.
And then she says you know, Mom, you're right.
And many days when I leave herand give her a kiss and a hug,
she starts crying.
She said I don't know what I'ddo without you.
I said well, you won't have todo it without me, I'll be here.
And I always tell Bob I don'tcare if the house is on fire or
die, it eats me.
Jeff Samelson (33:48):
I'm going we'll try to avoid that situation,
we'll try to avoid the fire well, helen.
Bob Fleischmann (33:59):
Thank you so much for joining us today and
thank you for not sharing allthe stories I was worried about
well, part two well, you'reright, I do need you.
Helen Fleischmann (34:08):
So, yes, thanks, and thank you for not
sharing all the stories I wasworried about.
Well, part two.
Well, you're right, I do needyou, so I better watch my BJTs a
little.
Christa Potratz (34:12):
No, thank you so much and you know we really
appreciate everything you'vementioned today, and we want to
thank all of our listeners too,especially the moms.
We really appreciate all of youand we thank you so much for
joining us, and if you have anyquestions on this episode or any
(34:35):
questions for Bob, just let usknow.
You can reach us atlifechallengesus and we look
forward to having you back nexttime.
Thanks a lot, Bye.
Paul Snamiska (34:47):
US and we look forward to having you back next
time.
Thanks a lot, bye.
Thank you for joining us forthis episode of the Life
Challenges podcast fromChristian Life Resources.
Please consider subscribing tothis podcast, giving us a review
wherever you access it andsharing it with friends.
We're sure you have questionson today's topic or other life
issues.
Our goal is to help you throughthese tough topics and we want
(35:07):
you to know we're here to help.
You can submit your questions,as well as comments or
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In addition to the podcasts, weinclude other valuable
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(35:30):
For more about our parentorganization, please visit
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May God give you wisdom, love,strength and peace in Christ for
every life challenge.
On today's episode so that they would do
the same thing with theirchildren.
But I also in my whole lifehave had, were blessed I should
say blessed but the dearestfriends of ours, oh, yeah, yeah.
And our children had severalgrandparents that weren't
(00:39):
they're legitimate grandparents,but they called them Grandma
and Grandpa.
Christa Potratz (01:06):
Welcome to the Life Challenges podcast from
Christian Life Resources of mygrandparents, but they called
him issues and more.
Join us now for Life Challenges.
Hi and welcome back.
I'm Krista Potratz and I'm heretoday with pastors Bob
Fleischman and Jeff Samuelson,and today we have a very special
episode to bring to you.
We are going to be doing ourMother's Day episode and we have
(01:28):
a very special mom here with ustoday too.
Today we have Helen Fleischman,as you might note, I know our
audience is very smart andintelligent.
Fleischman is Bob's name here,so we have Bob's mom in the
studio here today recording.
And welcome, helen, we're soglad you could join us today.
(01:51):
Thank you, I'm excited to do it.
Good, good, we particularlywant to do this episode to talk
about moms, and Christian LifeResources does a lot of work
with families and with moms andthe home for mothers and
everything, and we really justwanted to shine a spotlight on
(02:13):
motherhood today, and so we justwe're excited to have you with
us.
I think maybe a good place tostart here is if you want to
just tell us a little bit aboutyourself, if you maybe knew that
you always wanted to be a mom,or just a little bit about your
(02:33):
background and journey intomotherhood a very large family.
Helen Fleischmann (02:48):
My parents had seven children and the last
three came a little later inlife because my parents got
divorced and then she remarried,and when we immigrated to the
United States I was 16, and myyoungest brother was one year
old and the second one was twoyears old and I had an
eight-year-old sister.
So those little boys were veryattached to me because I have
(03:15):
loved children forever and everand they have both grown up to
be good young men.
However, they've passed onsince then, and when I met my
husband, I met him shortly afterI came to America.
When I met my husband, it waslove at first sight.
(03:39):
He was shy, quiet, so I figuredwell, that way I get to do all
the talking.
That was a bargain.
And the second one was we bothloved children and we talked
about it.
I met him at a dance and I hadtwo of my brothers with me
(04:00):
because they were fabulousdancers and I actually taught
dancing in the Netherlands, sohe walked over to us because he
could hear us speaking Dutch.
When we came to America none ofus knew a word of English,
except maybe yes and no.
So when we got together on ourown, so when we got together on
(04:23):
our own, we were always talkingDutch and he walked over to us
and I've never forgotten this.
Bob Fleischmann (04:37):
He asked me if I was Mexican.
Yep, I could see that.
Helen Fleischmann (04:41):
Now I'm lily white, not looking Mexican or
anything.
So I said no.
I said you know, we're fromHolland and he thought that was
the coolest thing.
He asked me to dance with himthree times and then he brought
(05:03):
me a flower that they wereselling there and my oldest
brother was getting nervous.
He said you're not going homewith any stranger.
I said you're right about that,because I probably will never
know what he's saying to me,that I shouldn't accept or
anything.
But he walked me out and thenwe just walked a little ways
away so that we could talk toeach other as best I could, and
(05:25):
then he asked me if he could seeme again.
I was actually working as ananny, taking care of children
which I loved.
So I said, well, if you like,you can kiss me goodbye, and I
heard his knees knocking.
He was that shy.
(05:45):
But then at the second meetingwe were talking like we were
going to get married tomorrowmorning.
We were talking about he askeddo you like children?
And I said, oh golly, yes.
I said I want to have sevenchildren when I get married.
We came to our senses after four, especially after we had Bob
(06:08):
first.
That was just an outstandingexperience for me.
And he was in the service,which I didn't know.
He didn't have his uniform onwhen I met him, so I didn't
realize that he was in theservice, so I wasn't sold on the
uniform, like so many girls did.
And when he came to visit us Iwanted to introduce him to my
(06:33):
mom and dad.
They were very strict that Ialways introduce a boyfriend to
them.
And then we all went to thesame dance.
But my brother was driving andBob and I were in the front seat
and we were in a car accidentand big, great, big trailer
(06:54):
truck head on and the car thatwe hit had two children in it
which, thank the Lord, weren'tkilled.
The people weren't eitherchildren in it, which thank the
Lord weren't killed.
The people weren't either, butthat was very, very scary.
But I did have a cut in my kneeand they had to stitch that up
(07:16):
and everything.
And this was the second date.
Yeah, that was on our seconddate, okay.
And my mother always said thetwo of you had the love knocked
into you when you had theaccident, apparently, but Bob
and I both went through thewindshield, but Bob was not hurt
at all.
So, anyway, then he startedcoming every weekend, so that
(07:41):
worked out okay.
And then we actually only kneweach other six weeks and we got
married Wow, six weeks.
So, and thanks to my husband, Ibecame a wealth Lutheran.
I was baptized Catholic, but myparents never went to church
(08:03):
and we never had a Bible in ourhouse.
So I have really enjoyed that.
I was so excited to hear what Iheard and I was always a
willing learner about things youknow.
So I did a lot of work in thechurch, always that we were in
(08:25):
and everything that my husbandwas in, I was in, and we were
the perfect team.
Christa Potratz (08:33):
So how old were you then when you got married,
and how old were you when Bobcame along?
Bob Jr was 18.
Bob Fleischmann (08:40):
You were 17 when you got married.
You were 18, when I was born.
Christa Potratz (08:44):
So you were 17 when you got married, 18 when
you had Bob.
Yeah, and so he came.
Helen Fleischmann (08:50):
We were so excited that we had our first
three children in four years.
Wow, and there was a questionon here what was the hardest
part of being a mom?
Yes, yes when all three of themhad the flu at the same time.
That was the hardest.
My husband worked 12 hours aday and I was always alone with
(09:11):
the kiddos, you know.
Christa Potratz (09:12):
Mm-hmm.
Helen Fleischmann (09:14):
But yeah, that was probably the worst time
I ever had.
And our number two son was alittle bit of a challenge.
You had to really hold yourthumb on him.
But I never believed in tellingdaddy, telling the kids, when
daddy comes home, you're goingto get it.
I thought, what daddy wants tocome home to that I can take
(09:38):
care of these boys.
I grew up with five brothers.
Christa Potratz (09:42):
So you grew up with five brothers, and then you
grew up with five brothers, andthen you had four boys.
Yep, wow, okay.
Bob Fleischmann (09:48):
She was unusually well-equipped to
handle the challenge.
Christa Potratz (09:53):
A boy mom here with four boys.
Helen Fleischmann (09:56):
Oh, I loved my boys and I still do.
Bob Fleischmann (09:58):
I adore them all, yeah, so you can imagine
how giddy she was when I hadfive daughters.
It was a whole different world.
Helen Fleischmann (10:06):
See, and isn't that a typical Bob thing?
I can show you how to do it.
Yeah, yeah.
So, oh, yeah, wonderfulgranddaughters.
We have 16 grandchildren, 16great-grandchildren, and number
17 is on the way.
Wow, wow, a couple months.
Christa Potratz (10:30):
So what do you think has helped you the most in
your journey as a mom?
Helen Fleischmann (10:37):
Well, the first thing, of course, is
getting to know the Lord the wayI should have had, which I
didn't do, and I always talkedto the Lord out loud.
Lord, help me with this, lord,help me with that.
And I want to be the best mom Icould be.
I wanted my children to grow upin the church so that they
would do the same thing withtheir children.
(10:58):
But I also, in my whole life,have had, were blessed I should
say blessed but the dearestfriends of Bob oh, yeah, yeah.
And our children had severalgrandparents that weren't their
legitimate grandparents, butthey called them grandma and
grandpa.
Christa Potratz (11:19):
Yeah, I think Bob has mentioned that in the
past too about you just takingin some people from either the
church or the community intoyour home and that they did kind
of become like family to yourboys.
Bob Fleischmann (11:34):
Oh yeah, we have a lot of family pictures in
which they're not all bloodrelatives.
I mean they were, you know,grandma Fran, grandpa Clarence.
I mean they were just, theywere widowed or single and
pretty soon.
They're in every picture.
Helen Fleischmann (11:50):
And I loved taking care of people that
needed help, and I still do.
I mean, diane is my firstconcern.
I drop everything, but Bobneeds me.
And just to say something niceabout Bob is he's the same way
(12:10):
about us.
Yeah, I just adore my familyand I adore my friends.
I have friends with one ladythat's just all over me and she
called me this morning and shesaid I'm going to bring my
girlfriend over and we're goingto help you get your house back
in order.
And my husband was a wonderful,wonderful man and we were
(12:32):
married 69 blessed years and wewere a team.
Every day we always had stuffto talk about.
Of course, we had a lot ofchildren and grandchildren to
keep us excited, but my husbandadored the kids and, even as old
as he was, when the little onescame, he always laid on the
(12:54):
floor and was horsing aroundwith them.
Christa Potratz (12:56):
Yeah, I bet he supported you a lot in your
motherhood journey too.
Helen Fleischmann (13:00):
Oh gosh, yes, we were the perfect team,
perfect team.
Bob Fleischmann (13:05):
You know, one of the things just recalling.
I don't really recall myparents, you know, sitting down
telling us to be pro-life ortelling us that abortion was
wrong or things like that, butrather there was kind of a you
know, have us put our hand onyour belly.
You know and feel a move whichreally creeped me out, just so
(13:40):
that you know that now.
Christa Potratz (13:41):
But I just was how old were you at the time
when she was pregnant?
Bob Fleischmann (13:46):
Well, I think I'm eight years older than Dave,
so I had to be seven or eight.
I've often said that when Ipresent too, is that you really
have to be taught to want totake the life of an unborn child
, because I think every instinctis that it's miraculous, it's
incredible, it's the kind ofthing that gets passed down by
(14:10):
example unless you are mindedagainst it.
But it kind of like, I think,because instinctively you know,
and family was always big onboth sides, and I know both
families were hard, you know,growing up in the Netherlands
and my dad growing up in kind ofrural southeast Wisconsin.
They had tough lives andeverything but family always
(14:31):
meant something.
It was probably played out morethan it was taught, you know.
In other words, you justpresumed.
That's not only a credit to theway that I think I was raised,
but I think there's a messagethere for everybody, and that is
you don't have to try so hardto teach it as much as to live
it yeah.
Jeff Samelson (14:52):
In your story you mentioned a few things that are
not now the way they were thenand at your I'll assume 39 years
of age.
(15:12):
Now you've had that motherstoday might not understand about
motherhood, might notappreciate about motherhood
Things that you know if you hadthe opportunity to speak to a
lot of mothers at once, or evennot yet married women or women
who don't yet have children.
What are the things that you'dwant them to understand yet?
Helen Fleischmann (15:34):
have children , what are the things that you'd
want them to understand?
Well, I think we'll fail to thenext generation.
And it happened, because in mybook this is how I feel about it
People became so selfish thatthe minute they got married,
they'd have a big home andeverything in it, and you should
(15:55):
see some of the places myhusband and I lived in, and we
were just as happy as we are inthis house.
You know that was all we couldafford at the time Great.
But and you know, when mom anddad are out working during the
day and they come home, you'reexhausted at the end of the day
when you've got four boys inyour house.
(16:15):
But I didn't go to work untilmy children were raised.
I wanted to raise my ownchildren and I even took in
babysitting.
I babysat for people and I tookin ironing and I took in
laundry to make some extra money.
And I never regretted itbecause I got to raise my own
(16:36):
children and that's what Iwanted to do and I thought I
don't care how poor we get, aslong as we have food for the
kids and us and everybody.
The rest will come later.
You know, and I was just ashappy every place I've lived in.
I've lived here.
What I love the most now isthat I'm next door to one of my
(16:58):
sons.
We've never lived that close,but in all the years that we've
lived next to each other we havenever had a bad word, huh Bob.
Bob Fleischmann (17:07):
Well, there was .
Helen Fleischmann (17:08):
Maybe once you got home.
Bob Fleischmann (17:10):
There was that one time.
Helen Fleischmann (17:11):
No, no, it's just yeah no-transcript.
Bob Fleischmann (18:04):
I know Jeff was being very polite about your
age, but I often thought one ofthe most remarkable things my
mom's going to turn 87 on Monday.
Helen Fleischmann (18:12):
I haven't forgotten your birthday.
You should have never told him.
Bob Fleischmann (18:15):
That was so nice, what he thought.
Helen Fleischmann (18:17):
You just destroyed my whole day.
Bad words coming.
Bob Fleischmann (18:22):
No, I mean, God bless both of them.
My father passed away last weekand he passed away at 90, and
he turned 90 on Easter and,remarkable, his mind was intact
and so forth, and my parents andso as a result, you know, we
can talk about things we have todo to manage, you know, to care
for Diane or something likethat, and it's a normal
(18:44):
conversation.
We've been fortunate in thatregard that not every family has
had, because some have wrestledwith dementia in the family or
other real difficult diseases todeal with, and so we've been
very fortunate and so that'sbeen good.
And again, when they look atyour children you know, jeff and
Krista, when people look atyour children, they're already
(19:07):
guessing Is he like the motheror the father?
Is she like the mother or thefather?
You know, and more this way,more that way.
A lot of people say I takeafter my mom most and I would
say the spitfire in me is thatmy dad was always the kind of
guy that would go oh, I don'twork so hard, you know, you
should sit back.
(19:27):
I said, dad, you're retired,I'm not, you know.
But that's what he was my mom,but that's what he was my mom
going on 87, is more the kindlike okay, what should I start
now?
And so in that sense you do it.
But you also model that mybrothers are actively engaged in
all sorts of activities and Ithink a lot of that, and so we
(19:57):
got from my dad kind of a strongsense of family.
You know, I used to tell thestory that when I was confirmed
I was going to quit the churchand when mom had announced that
we had to get dressed for churchon Saturday night, I announced
that I wasn't going to go tochurch.
I'd gone to confirmation classand everything.
And my dad just calmly said inthe Fleischman home, we live
under a dictatorship and youwill be going to church.
(20:18):
And that's kind of the role thatmy dad he would just kind of
announce the decrees and my momwould gleefully take on the role
of the enforcer.
Christa Potratz (20:29):
Yeah, because she didn't have to wait for your
dad to come home.
Bob Fleischmann (20:32):
No, she didn't have to wait for her dad to come
home.
No, she didn't have to.
It was kind of more like SusanI was so excited about church.
Yeah.
Helen Fleischmann (20:38):
Kids say I don't want to go to church, Like
this is not up for option.
Yeah, you wanted to go, you'regoing, yeah.
Christa Potratz (20:45):
That makes such a difference, I think in a home
too, when you just have twoparents, especially that are
going to come and say thatthat's a priority in a family,
one of the things.
I mean.
It just really hits me too howyoung you were when you became a
mom, and I think that's one ofthe things we hear today,
(21:12):
especially from women who saythat they need to have an
abortion because they're notready to be a mom.
What would you say to somebodywho would say that, that they
just feel like they're not readyyet.
Helen Fleischmann (21:26):
Why did you get pregnant?
Christa Potratz (21:28):
I mean they don't have to get pregnant.
Helen Fleischmann (21:32):
Yeah, yeah, and if your decision was that
you weren't going to keep thatbaby.
Don't kill it, because it ismurder in my book and because I
love my children.
So I lay awake at nightsometimes thinking what is that
like To lose a child?
Christa Potratz (21:47):
Yeah.
Bob Fleischmann (21:48):
Well, is it an accurate statement, mom, that
whether you were found out youwere pregnant with me or you
found out you were pregnant withmy youngest brother, david, you
almost never feel ready?
I know you know, with the fivegirls each one that would come
along in our family, I mean youknow it's like we're going to
have to adjust.
I mean a lot of people whenthey think they're not ready, I
(22:09):
often wonder if they're lookingat the wrong things.
Because if you think you're,you know most.
Any mother I've ever talked toalways says you never, all of a
sudden, that feeling ofresponsibility and everything.
You never feel ready.
Jeff Samelson (22:23):
Yeah, I think the unreadiness is just the name
they're giving to fear.
Bob Fleischmann (22:27):
Yeah.
Jeff Samelson (22:28):
Fear.
You know I'm not, I'm afraidI'm not up to this, and they
don't realize that they're kindof making excuses for themselves
in that sense, and I think too,like just kind of how you were
saying, Helen.
Christa Potratz (22:39):
Just our priorities nowadays seem like
okay, yeah, we have to have thehouse and the job and all these
things before we bring in kidsinto the world.
We just have to do all thesethings and then we'll have the
right stuff and the rightmindset to have children.
Helen Fleischmann (23:01):
See, I never felt I had to prepare for that.
I never thought about that.
I was so excited when I had myfirst boy.
And then the second one cameright along, the third one came
right along, and all three ofthem were in diapers at one time
.
Christa Potratz (23:18):
Oh wow, it's a job that long to be true, why
did I feel that coming?
Jeff Samelson (23:26):
I'm getting better.
I think one aspect of whythings are different today is,
you know, it's related to themedia.
I'm not so much blaming it,it's just that it's so much
easier for women today who mightbe thinking about motherhood to
just have taken in this ideathat everything needs to be
(23:48):
perfect that Krista wasmentioning.
Okay, we've already got to havethe house.
We can't be waiting saving upfor it.
We've got to have that now andin the right neighborhood.
And we got to be living wherethe schools are good so that
when the kid gets older he'sgoing.
You know all these kinds ofthings, and I want to make sure
I've had the experiences already.
That will then enrich ourfamily, rather than having the
(24:10):
family first and then having theexperiences together and all of
that.
Oh yeah, and of course, thereare all the mommy blogs and
things like that that are allabout, oh, this is a perfect
motherhood and so this is whatyou need to aim for.
What advice would you give towomen and mothers who really
have this mentality that theyprobably aren't even consciously
(24:31):
aware of that?
Everything just needs to beperfect.
Helen Fleischmann (24:34):
I would probably talk to them about it,
Tell them how we lived and Inever thought about oh, I wish I
had this, I wish I had that.
I had what I wanted my childrenand that was our first priority
when we got married, Bob and Iboth wanted a large family.
Bob Fleischmann (24:55):
You know, what was interesting is you guys
never were career-minded.
I mean, my dad was a lifelongtool and die maker and so forth,
and there wasn't this careeraspiration I need to keep
advancing.
We got to the point where youone day eventually owned your
house.
By the time we were moving upthere, we were all in school
already, and as I look back,even to the mistakes I made in
(25:19):
child rearing, you do findyourself tricked into trying to
make heaven on earth, and soyou're always looking for the
bigger house and the nicer joband the better career, and I
want to see all the sightsbefore this and before all that
happens, and I don't everremember that being priorities.
In our house.
We found the pleasure insimpler things.
Christa Potratz (25:41):
How did your motherhood journey change from
having little kids to havingolder children?
I mean, because now you're amom with older boys.
Helen Fleischmann (25:51):
Oh it's kind of nice.
It's like having more kids,except somebody else brought
them into the world.
But I love them and I hug them.
I still have a lot of energyfor a person my age.
Christa Potratz (26:02):
Yeah.
Helen Fleischmann (26:02):
And I actually that's the only thing
I've worked on on purposebecause my husband was declining
.
He was three years older than Iwas and I thought, if he's
going to need me to be thecaregiver which my husband
always said you ought to makethe best caregiver.
And he always said to me youknow, if it gets to be too much,
(26:24):
put me in a nursing home.
I said you will never see theinside of a nursing home as long
as I'm on my feet.
So yeah, the people I love, Itruly love, and I must have
enough to spread around becauseI'm loved by a lot of other
people.
Bob Fleischmann (26:42):
Well, and the children and grandchildren given
a choice would almost always goto my mom and dad first.
My grandchildren that live inIowa.
When they came up to visit theyimmediately, before they even
said hi to us, ran over nextdoor to see them.
I'm going to put the bestconstruction on that and say it
was a better commentary on momand dad, it wasn't a commentary
(27:04):
on me.
Helen Fleischmann (27:05):
Well, there's so much to love in this world,
and if people would just keeptheir heads straight and figure
out how to do that, life can bewonderful.
Bob and I had a wonderful,wonderful life.
And do I miss him?
Oh golly.
Yes, my sad he's gone, oh yeah,but I now want to be here for
(27:31):
my children and grandchildren.
I still have the strength to doit and I want to outlast Diane
so that I can help her.
So I'm not selfish.
If my house suffers from notgetting everything done, well,
sooner or later it will.
Christa Potratz (27:50):
Well, when you say that too, about how you're
willing to suffer for yourhealth has to suffer while you
take care of other people, thatjust really I think it hits me,
just that sacrifice aspect ofmotherhood, and I think you know
, and especially in a worldtoday where we're told that you
really have to take care ofyourself and self-care is so
(28:13):
important.
And you know you can't take careof other people if you haven't
really put in the effort toyourself.
Here you're saying I'm willingto take care of other people,
even if myself fades.
It's just it hits differently.
Helen Fleischmann (28:32):
Well, I think that's why God put us here.
We're expected to look aftereach other.
Yeah yeah, the very first housemy husband and I lived in was a
remodeled car train car.
Bob Fleischmann (28:47):
Yeah, it was a train car.
Helen Fleischmann (28:49):
They had made an apartment out of it.
Christa Potratz (28:51):
Like the boxcar children.
Yeah, that's what I think,that's what we were.
Helen Fleischmann (28:57):
And the first thing I did in that apartment
was they had in previous, theyhad a smoker in there.
I washed all the walls in thereand I helped paint it and made
it look homey and clean.
And my husband said are all theDutch women like that?
I go?
Yeah, they even scrub thestreets every Friday.
They did.
(29:18):
They are very clean people.
Bob Fleischmann (29:22):
During the memorial service or something
that we had for dad earlier thisweek, I overheard you talking
to somebody about how yourmother, my grandma, saved your
lives multiple times because shewas mothering you during World
War II and I remember duringCOVID my mom would say to us
(29:44):
okay, so we got to stay at home.
That sure beats having to runto bomb shelters.
She remembered that and that'swhat you were saying.
Is that a number of timesgrandma had to sit there and
corral you guys up and get youover to a bomb shelter because
there was no.
Your father had left.
And you still, you model again.
I want to just emphasizemodeling it, and that's what she
(30:07):
did.
She modeled it.
Helen Fleischmann (30:09):
My mother was a hero in my book because there
was very, very little food andevery time the sirens went off
we had to run to the shelters.
And Carl was little yet, so sheused to carry him while running
and she always wore a dress.
(30:29):
Well, back then women didn'twear slacks and she always wore
a dress.
And the whole time she'srunning, holding onto my little
brother, she said don't let goof my dress, don't let go of my
dress the whole time we'rerunning, because she didn't even
have time to turn around andlook and see if all three of us
were following.
Yet, you know, and thathappened many, many, many times.
Bob Fleischmann (30:52):
But I think that created some of that
instinct that you have.
Christa Potratz (30:56):
Any final advice for the moms out there
listening that are maybe goingthrough things, or just any
thoughts?
Helen Fleischmann (31:08):
Well, I would say the biggest thought that is
in my mind every day from thetime I became a Christian was
talk to the Lord when you'retroubled.
Gather around your friends andbe a good friend.
You'll have them for a lifetime.
I've had friends for a lifetimeand it isn't as difficult as
(31:33):
people make it.
It's not that difficult, butyou gotta pick your priorities
and if they're not in the rightplace it's not gonna work.
I've sacrificed a lot of thingsfor my boys, but I never
regretted it.
You know, if they needed itmore than I did, I gave it to
them.
They came first and they'restill that way in my heart.
(31:57):
Therefore, they come first andthat's why I'm going to stick it
out with Diane when she startsto feel sorry for herself.
Then I bring up things that thelatest one I brought up that she
really appreciated and neverthought of was I said you do
(32:18):
realize that even with yourcurrent condition, you have no
pain anywhere.
I said I have seen people thatwere in pain and that is
probably a lot worse than abrain tumor.
I said you have no painanywhere and you know?
(32:40):
I said sometimes you don't feellike eating the next day.
You're fine, you eat.
So I said keep looking at thebright side, what you still do
have.
You have a husband that fallsall over you.
You got a mother-in-law that'scrazy about you and you got a
father-in-law who's crazy aboutyou.
I said eat all that stuff up,don't sit and worry.
(33:04):
I said eat all that stuff up,don't sit and worry.
Because, the worst thing shesaid to me is I feel like I just
have to sit here and wait todie.
I said no, no, no, there arestill things to do.
There are still things to doand things to pray about.
I said there are people who aresofter than you are, believe it
or not.
Bob Fleischmann (33:26):
There is.
Helen Fleischmann (33:27):
And then she says you are, believe it or not,
there is.
And then she says you know, Mom, you're right.
And many days when I leave herand give her a kiss and a hug,
she starts crying.
She said I don't know what I'ddo without you.
I said well, you won't have todo it without me, I'll be here.
And I always tell Bob I don'tcare if the house is on fire or
die, it eats me.
Jeff Samelson (33:48):
I'm going we'll try to avoid that situation,
we'll try to avoid the fire well, helen.
Bob Fleischmann (33:59):
Thank you so much for joining us today and
thank you for not sharing allthe stories I was worried about
well, part two well, you'reright, I do need you.
Helen Fleischmann (34:08):
So, yes, thanks, and thank you for not
sharing all the stories I wasworried about.
Well, part two.
Well, you're right, I do needyou, so I better watch my BJTs a
little.
Christa Potratz (34:12):
No, thank you so much and you know we really
appreciate everything you'vementioned today, and we want to
thank all of our listeners too,especially the moms.
We really appreciate all of youand we thank you so much for
joining us, and if you have anyquestions on this episode or any
(34:35):
questions for Bob, just let usknow.
You can reach us atlifechallengesus and we look
forward to having you back nexttime.
Thanks a lot, Bye.
Paul Snamiska (34:47):
US and we look forward to having you back next
time.
Thanks a lot, bye.
Thank you for joining us forthis episode of the Life
Challenges podcast fromChristian Life Resources.
Please consider subscribing tothis podcast, giving us a review
wherever you access it andsharing it with friends.
We're sure you have questionson today's topic or other life
issues.
Our goal is to help you throughthese tough topics and we want
(35:07):
you to know we're here to help.
You can submit your questions,as well as comments or
suggestions for future episodesat lifechallengesus or email us
at podcast atchristianliferesourcescom.
In addition to the podcasts, weinclude other valuable
information at LifeChallengesus,so be sure to check it out.
(35:30):
For more about our parentorganization, please visit
ChristianLifeResourcescom.
May God give you wisdom, love,strength and peace in Christ for
every life challenge.
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