267. Escaping The Porn Industry With Joshua Broome

 Imagine being at the highest point of your career only to realize that you're plummeting into an abyss? Our guest, Joshua Broome, reveals his transformative journey from the most successful adult film star in the industry to the point of battling depression and contemplating suicide. His story is a testament to the power of faith, resilience, and what redemption looks like when you surrender to Jesus. 

For full show note details, go to the episode webpage:
https://thelionwithin.us/podcast/267-escaping-the-porn-industry-with-joshua-broome/

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Episode Transcript

Chris Grainger (00:03):
Welcome to the Lion with Ennis, a podcast
serving Christian men who arehungry to be the leaders God
intends you to be.
I'm your host, chris Granger.
Let's jump in.
All right, guys.
This is me episode today, andbefore we get into it, let's
dive right into the word.
So we're going to be in thebook of 1 John not John, but 1
John.
Chapter 4, verse 4, says you,dear children, are from God and

(00:26):
have overcome them, because theone who is in you is greater
than the one who is in the world.
Can I get amen on that, fellas?
Okay?
So if you missed the spiritualkickoff, go check that one out.
I spent a lot of time unpackingthat one particular verse, guys
, to give you a better insightof not just who you are, but

(00:46):
who's you are.
You are a bloodbought child ofGod, and that should get you
fired up and you can overcomethe challenges of the darkness
that are in the world.
And we're going to talk aboutsome dark things today.
Today, a very interestingconversation I have brought in
with us.
We had Joshua Broome, and heexperienced a six year period in

(01:08):
his life, guys, where he wasthe most successful adult film
star in the world and he hadfame, he had fortune, he
traveled the world, he could doall the things that most people
dream of, right, but they allleft him empty in his heart.
So for the last several years,josh has been appearing on

(01:32):
podcast TV shows you name ittalking about telling the God's
redemptive story and what thatlooked like in his life.
He overcame depression.
He was on the verge of suicide.
I'm telling you his emotionalscars he had from making over a
thousand pornographic films.
Guys, this stuff, it impactedhim greatly.

(01:54):
But now he's healed.
He's only healed through thepower, the life giving power,
found in Jesus.
So, look, he's now replaced allthose lives of the past.
What God's truth he's teachingothers, what he's learned.
He's just got a great spiritabout him.
Fellas, I'm just here to tellyou he's now married.

(02:16):
He's got three sons, he tellsus on the episode.
He's got one on the way andit's just like he's got so many
things that he's living for nowand he's trying to be very
intentional about pointingothers to the good news of the
gospel and also exposing thedarkness that exists in the

(02:36):
pornography industry.
And I know a lot of you guys arestruggling with this.
We hear from you.
We know so many men out therestruggle with the issue of
pornography in their life andthey feel like you know what,
it's just a part of you that youcan't overcome.
I'm here to tell you you'rewrong, you can't overcome it.
You are not defined by that.
You're gonna hear firsthandJosh's account on how he got

(03:01):
sucked into that industry andhow, in one moment, one moment,
everything changed, and also youcan hear the redemptive story
of how, in another moment, avery holy encounter, everything
changed.
The point it to him.
All right, fellas.

(03:22):
So enjoy this conversation, sitback, just soak it in.
Definitely be sure to go checkout the show notes later and get
all the links and things likethat, but I hope you enjoy this
one with Joshua Broome.
So, josh, welcome to the Lionwith Dennis.
How are you doing today, sir?

Joshua Broome (03:40):
I'm good man.
I'm sitting in my kitchen table, which is unique for me.
I'm normally in my studio.
But, man, thank you for beingpatient with me.
I've been kind of runningaround.
Summer's a crazy time.
I got some young kids, lots ofbirthdays, lots of travel, all
that good stuff.

(04:00):
But I'm so glad that we madethis happen.
I think that it wasprovidential that we had this
conversation today at this time,and I'm just glad to be here.

Chris Grainger (04:11):
Amen, bro.
Thank you.
Look, I'm getting ready to movein less than a month, so my
studio is going away, I'm goingto be scrambling around and I
have four little ones myself,dude, so no apologies needed.
We made it happen.
This is when we're supposed tomake a recording, so we're just
going to go with it.
Man, I'm excited to have youhere.
Before we get into the heavypart of the conversation, man,

(04:32):
give us a little fun fact aboutyou that maybe not many people
know.

Joshua Broome (04:37):
Fun fact about me man kind of a goofy thing is I
didn't learn how to ride abicycle until I was 15.
Okay, and the way that Ilearned it is I was just.
I was tired of lying to myfriends.
They'd say, let's go for a bikeride or whatever, and I was
like, nah, I don't want to.
So I got tired of it.

(04:59):
So my grandma had this realsteep driveway.
It was asphalt.
I'm from South Carolina so itturned from asphalt it turns
into that soft sand kind of likesand like at a beach, and I got
on this bicycle and I was likeI want to stay on this bike more
than I want to get hurt.

(05:19):
So I got on the bike, kind oflike a bad roller coaster, and I
went down and I had all theconfidence in the world until
that front tire hit that sandand I went over the handlebars
and knocked the air out ofmyself.
But I did it a few times andthen after that I figured out.

(05:40):
But that's how I learned toride a bike.
Something I'm proud of and I'mexcited about right now is
recently found out we've got afourth little one on the way.

Chris Grainger (05:51):
All right.

Joshua Broome (05:52):
Yeah, so excited about that.
So our oldest can in turns fivenext week.
Okay, In turns five July 11th.
And yeah, so three boys, maybea fourth, we don't know yet, but
excited about it.

Chris Grainger (06:09):
That's so awesome, man.
So I have three girls and a boy, so a little bit of air
survived.
The boy slipped in at the end,so finally broke up all that
estrogen at the house.
Good little test top.

Joshua Broome (06:19):
That's what my wife my wife is hoping for.
The latter she was a gymnast.
Her whole life cheered in highschool, did some dance, all that
stuff.
So would love to have a littlegirl to be able to share some of
her life experience with man.
That's awesome.
I'm just praying that he or sheis healthy and I'll be glad

(06:44):
either way.

Chris Grainger (06:45):
Amen.
We'll be praying for a healthypregnancy man all the way.
For sure, I'm a July birthdaytoo, so me and your son, we're
close.
He only missed me by like fourdays.
I'm the seven, okay.

Joshua Broome (06:55):
My birthday is July 26th.

Chris Grainger (06:57):
Okay, man, july babies are the best.
There we go, there we go.

Joshua Broome (07:02):
And our anniversary is the 16th, so July
is just the month for us.

Chris Grainger (07:06):
There you go, man.
There you go.
Well, good deal.
Well, man, thanks for sharingall that stuff about your family
, and where in South Carolinaare you from?
I didn't realize that.

Joshua Broome (07:14):
Yeah, I'm from Pageland, south Carolina, so
self-proclaimed watermeloncapital of the world, but it's
so.
It is in between Columbia andMyrtle Beach.
The closest big city isCharlotte, so I was born in
Charlotte, which is in NorthCarolina, so it's pretty much on
the state line, but it's about45 minutes from Rock Hill.

(07:37):
So if you know where Carolin'sis.
It takes about 50 minutes toget to Carolin's.

Chris Grainger (07:45):
Nice man.
Okay, I was picking up theaccent man.
I'm a North Carolina guy myself, born and raised just in
Virginia, though just at theline.
So I always claim NorthCarolina.
So it's good to have a fellowCarolinian with us, man.

Joshua Broome (07:56):
There we go there we go Love it.

Chris Grainger (07:59):
Well, let's get into it.
Man, I know I really want tojust get out the way in a lot of
this conversation.
I know you have a powerfultestimony.
This is something that'simpacting a lot of our guys.
I shared some scripture withthem in our previous episode,
the kind of leading them up tothis so far as walking in in
light.
So would you mind just givingus a little bit about your
background and your testimonyand get us going?

Joshua Broome (08:20):
Yeah, 100%.
So, like I said, I grew up inSouth Carolina.
My mom had me when she was 16and my dad.
He was never in our life or inour home, but he was just down
the street.
So he was in the same city,wasn't a bad guy, just chose not

(08:43):
to be my dad, and that wasconfusing as I got older and
then eventually it was somethingthat made me angry because
there was this guy that I wouldsee.
The town that I grew up in wejust got a Taco Bell super small
, so one grocery store, one drugstore, so I would see him

(09:11):
around town at the gas stationand stuff like that.
So it wasn't like he was on theother side of the country, he
was right there.
And that made me feelinadequate and created some
insecurities and some trauma inmy life.
And I have this achieverpersonality, which is a good

(09:31):
thing if it leads you to dogreat things, it leads you to
have good work ethic.
That's a good thing.
But if you pair someone thathas a high achiever personality
with a lot of insecurity andbrokenness, it's going to cause
you to believe that you need tovalidate yourself, you need to

(09:51):
prove your word and, again, nota bad thing if you're doing it
for the right reasons.
But for me I had to prove thatI was worse, something because
it made me feel like I wasn't.
And first it was grades had tomake the best grades, had to be
the best on the basketball team,all those things and then

(10:13):
eventually started into girlshad to get the girl that no one
can get, or get the most girls.
But it was always this conquestafter conquest where I would do
something and it would make mefeel validated for a moment.
And once I would get thatdopamine hit, it would plummet
and I would go back to cravingthat validation again because

(10:35):
there was something broken in myheart that I was trying to fix
with human ventures.
And that process continued.
I got into modeling and actingwhen I was 13, 14.
I started having a little bitof success.
Someone found me at the mall.
One of those mall searchesended up signing with an agent

(11:00):
and did a lot of modeling,finally got into acting a little
bit, doing some improv andstuff like that, and went to
college in Florence, southCarolina oh yeah, I already did
Francis Maynard University.
Went there for a few years.
I was studying theater and Iliked theater, but I didn't love

(11:21):
it, but pretty much everythingthat I was doing I would do this
, so that I never fullycommitted myself to anything.
I just thought, well, if I dothis, it'll help me get the next
thing.
And that's what I was doingthere.
And I found myself traveling alittle bit, doing some modeling,

(11:43):
doing some acting, getting someopportunities.
And I thought, well, if I justdrop out of school and put
myself in closer proximity tothis industry I want to be in,
then I'll make it.
How hard could it be, right?
And then I moved to Hollywoodand get a place right off of

(12:07):
Sunset Boulevard in the middleof West Hollywood, splitting a
place with about six guys stillpaying about $2,000 a month, and
I was doing okay.
I got an agent started workinga little bit, probably about the
same amount that I was working,but I could do more things

(12:27):
because I didn't have to getflown anywhere, right.
So I was doing okay.
But I was also trying to keepup with the people around me, so
living far beyond my means,going out, buying bottles, going
to clubs, trying to wear allthis stuff.

(12:48):
So the combination of me notworking super consistently and
that I had to do the thing thatmost people do when they go out
to Hollywood.
Anyways, you got to get a job tosupport the job that you're
trying to actually get.
You got to get something tomediate your expenses while

(13:08):
you're chasing the dream.
And I was working at this.
It was like a.
It was a steakhouse by day andthen at like nine o'clock it
transformed into something else.
It had a mechanical bull in themiddle.
It was one of those placeswhere a lot of underage people
would come, because as long asyou were getting dinner, you

(13:32):
could get in.
So it was like that was thecaveat, like if you would get a
table when you were eatingdinner, you didn't have to be 21
.
It was a popular place and itwas like close to all the other
clubs and stuff.
But I was working there and itwas funny, like to get a job
there.
It's like you didn't show aresume, you showed a headshot.
It's like if you had a headshotand you could, you know, had

(13:57):
some communication skills,you're good to go.
But I was working there andeverything was fine Doing okay.
So most of the people that endup making some of the life
decisions that I made, they hadsome serious trauma in their

(14:17):
lives.
They had financial issues Forme.
I just wanted to preface thatby saying, financially I was
fine.
I had.
I didn't have close friends,but I had a lot of acquaintances
.
I had a good relationship withmy mom, talked to her often.

(14:39):
There was no reason to do whatI did, but I did it anyway.
What I did was three girls.
They came into this restaurantand they sat down and I thought,
okay, I'm going to go put onthe charm, get their number,
maybe get a big tip.
I start talking to them andpretty much right away they said
, hey, have you ever consideredacting?

(15:01):
I was like yeah, absolutely,and I thought that it was segue
into an opportunity.
I thought maybe they knew acasting agent or they were
working on a project, becausemore often than not, what's very
advantageous for people in themovie industry or pretty much
any industry is.
You know someone that'sconnected to someone or

(15:24):
something and they make thatintroduction and you know
relationship is the mostvaluable thing you can have.
So I thought, man, this is it.
And they're like no, no, we'retalking about porn.
And I was like man what?
Because for me, I saw porn inan early age magazine when I was

(15:52):
14 years old at my cousin'shouse, but it was not something
that I consistently looked at,but I think because I had seen
it.
When I heard it it wasn't ascrazy as it would have been if I
wouldn't have been exposed toit.

(16:13):
But they ultimately asked mewould I want to do it?
And my next step would behaving a meeting with their
agent and the language that theyused when they said agent, for
some reason it normalized it andlegitimized it to me for some
reason, because there was anagent at an agency and that was

(16:36):
been my life for the last 10years.
So I was like all right, sure,what's the worst that could
happen if I meet with a guy?
And I'm thinking this is goingto be creepy, it's going to be
weird.
I go and it's in the middle ofStudio City and adjacent to
where Universal Studios is.

(16:57):
It's this nice, complex, and Iwalk in and tell the
receptionist who I'm there tosee and they said I sit down
with a guy and he's like.
I want to ask you threequestions how did you grow up?
No-transcript, why are you inHollywood and what do you hope

(17:18):
to accomplish?
How'd you grow up?
Why are you in Hollywood?
What do you want to accomplish?
Well, pretty much just me andmy mom and I am out here to act,
to model, and I guess what Ihope to accomplish is to be
famous.
And he's like great, perfect.

(17:39):
So in the industry it hadshifted from just doing you know
, just there being no rhyme orreason to what's happening to.
They started parodying thesemovies.
So the way he sold this to mewas that it would be very
advantageous for me to haveacting ability.
It was like you've got actingability, you're a good looking

(18:01):
guy, you can be the lead in allthese movies.
Like you can be the guy, I'llmake your name famous.
You'll make all this money.
You'll be the guy and man.
Like I knew in my gut this wassomething that was not good, I
shouldn't do it, and if my mamawould have got, you know, an

(18:25):
inkling of knowledge of this,she would have wore me out.
You know, even if I think itwas 22 at the time, she would
have wore me out.

Chris Grainger (18:33):
Right, right, hey, let's take a quick break
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Joshua Broome (19:40):
So he's asking me all these questions, tell me
I'm the guy and I could be theguy.
And me knowing you know got apit in my stomach.
It's like this is a terribleidea.
And he's like, well, here's thedeal.
We'll do a trial run, you'llget paid for it and first thing

(20:02):
we'll do is we're going to sendyou to this lab Everyone goes to
the same place and you'll do afull panel STD test and AIDS
test.
We'll get those results back in24 hours.
Everything looks good.
We'll set you up at a studioand you'll go do your first film

(20:23):
.
And I don't know why I agreed todoing that, but I did.
Went there, got that test, gotmy results back the next day and
they sent a town card to pickme up, to go take me to the
studio.
And I was thinking the wholetime.
I was like I shouldn't do this,I shouldn't do this.

(20:45):
And it's weird how regardlessof if you've been as big of a
knucklehead as I have been butit's often that one compromise
will make the next compromiseeven easier and how any

(21:06):
compromise in your life willimpact compromise in all of your
life.
And how, when I compromisedonce with what I knew I
shouldn't do, which was sayingyes to the agent, saying yes to
getting the test.
All of a sudden, I found myselfgoing to you know this.

(21:27):
I'm in the car, going to thestudio, and I get there and I'm
thinking, okay, how bad is itgoing to be?
And I thought it was like,maybe it will be fun, maybe it
will be cool, maybe it wouldn'tbe a big deal, maybe, though,
you know, I don't know what Iwas thinking.
And I get there and again it'smore of a business than I

(21:53):
realize where I go in andthere's a receptionist and it's
like here's what paperwork youneed to fill out, and I was
nervous, so I didn't read it,just signed everything, right.
And I never talked to the girl,like, I think, the biggest
misconception, especially, youknow, people who struggle with
this think that it's some levelof, or it's intimacy, right, or

(22:19):
you think it's two people thatfind each other attractive and
you know they just happen tocapture them on camera, right?
I didn't even know this girl'sname, I didn't see her, I didn't
talk to her, all I saw was,well, I saw her ID and I saw
that her ID matched her STD test, and then I had you mean you

(22:42):
signed that.
It's like I saw that she didn'thave Right, because you have to
like we would get tested every21 to 30 days and to make sure
that you had a current test.
So if you had a current cleantest you could work.
That was, you know, whateveryou needed to work.
So I saw that and then I walkin and like there's this like

(23:08):
daybed and there's peoplesurrounding her with like lights
and cameras and all this stuff.
And all of a sudden, like Irealized like this is not going
to be anything, like I thoughtit was going to be Right.
And this production assistantcomes up to me and he's like,
hey, I understand, this is yourfirst time.
And I was like yeah, and he'slike, well, here's, here's,

(23:30):
here's this pill.
It was a Viagra.
Hands, hands me this pill.
He's like I would take half ofit.
If you've never taken thisbefore, I wouldn't suggest
taking the whole thing.
We need you in about 20 minutes.
And I'm just standing there andI got a bottle of water in this
pill in my hand and then, youknow, no one's really talking to

(23:52):
me and I'm just kind ofstanding there not knowing what
to do and I go to the bathroomand kind of like, you know, just
like any like monologue of amovie.
It's like I'm staring myself inthe mirror.
I'm like what have I gottenmyself into?
And again the enemy will lie toyou.

(24:13):
To make you believe you can'tsay no, regardless of where you
are in this journey of baddecisions, I felt in my bones
Like I felt like it was true,because that's the, that's the
scary thing about a lie.
The scary thing about a lie is,if you believe it to be true,

(24:33):
it's true to you.
And what I believed was that,because I would, I'd already
done this and I'd already donethat that I couldn't walk out of
that studio, right.
So, believing that to be true,I took that whole pill, slammed
the whole water and I walked outof the bathroom and the

(24:53):
director waved me over into thissea of lights and I did that
first movie and it was.
It was gross and uncomfortableand, you know, had three cameras
right on me, had a boom miclike right by my head, I had
lights right underneath me.
I wasn't doing anything.

(25:15):
I was being told what to do theentire time by the director.
You know, the girl never madeeye contact with me.
She was, like you know, oftenLa La Land.
It was the most unnaturalexperience that I can ever
recall and the main thing that Irecall is just how awkward I

(25:41):
felt and how dirty I feltafterwards.
And then I left and I had thisyou know, I had a check and I
had.
You know, it's not dirty.
There was a shower on set but Ifelt like they had like hand
soap in the shower or somethinglike that and took the shower in

(26:04):
this town car that picked me up, took me back home and had a
check for $500.
And I thought, okay, you know,I'm never going to do that again
.
That was terrible, not worth it.
$500, like I wasn't making far,far.
You know I was making that kindof money working at a
restaurant.
Why would I do that again?

(26:29):
And a few weeks later that scenecomes out and it goes viral and
at that time, 500,000 peopleseeing it is, you know, super
viral.
And very quickly I get a phonecall from the talent agency that

(26:49):
represented me, the mainstreamagency, saying, hey, we
understand that you've made adecision to do some adult work
and there's it's clearlyoutlined in your contract that
there's there's moralobligations regarding your
likeness and we can't representyou anymore.

(27:11):
We wish you the best man.
And you know so the reason Iwas out there up in school, you
know, and it was and it was alarge agency.
So it's like you know,essentially black ball from from
from anything you know in thatfield.
And then the worst thinghappened about two days later I
get a phone call from my mom andmy mom says to me hey, your

(27:35):
uncle said that someone told himat work that you were doing
porn movies.
Is this true?
And man, I felt sick.
I felt sick in my stomach, Iwas embarrassed, yeah, and just
really knowing that that onedecision Right ruined so much of

(27:59):
my life, really destroyedeverything that I'd work for,
Everything that I'd sacrifice,everything my mom sacrificed I
mean my mom working in arestaurant 60 hours a week so
that I could have a calm car, sothat I could take voice lessons
, acting classes, basketballcamp, all these things that I
did, that we didn't have moneyto do, but my mom made

(28:22):
sacrifices so that I could dothem Just kind of threw them in
her face.
And again I was in this momentwhere, you know, a fork in the
road that many of us will faceyou make a decision or something
happens to you.
Maybe it's not your fault, butsomething happens in your life

(28:44):
and then your decision is do Icontinue allowing the decision I
made to dictate the directionthat my life is going or do I
take the more difficult path,which for me would have been
okay?
I gotta take this L you know Ican't do this anymore, but it

(29:07):
was a lie.
Again, it was a lie that Icouldn't do anything else.
That's ridiculous, especiallyin 2006,.
You know, like social media andall these things, it wasn't
what it was then, what it istoday.
So it wasn't like I wascanceled from doing all things
the rest of my life, it justwasn't true.

(29:27):
But I believed that that wastrue.
Like there's nothing else Icould do.
My life is ruined, but easily Icould have went back to school
and got a different degree, youknow, or something.
But I chose to do what was whatis much easier, continuing
doing what I was doing.
And right on time the agentcalls me hey, do you wanna sign

(29:52):
a contract?
And I said yes.
And that one yes turned into asix plus year career where I did
over a thousand movies thatnominated for 18 different
awards for former of the year,nominated four times, I won it
the last year.
I was in the industry and I sayall those things because, again,

(30:16):
that achiever personality Isaid well, even though I don't
wanna be doing what I'm doing, Ihave to be the best I have to.
So in that industry it's likewell, if I make X amount of
dollars, it'll justify what I'mdoing and it'll mitigate the

(30:37):
dissatisfaction that I have inmy heart Because there was a
level of shame involved,obviously.
Like no one that sellsthemselves in that way, you
don't go to bed and lay yourhead down on a pillow and feel
proud of yourself, right, andwhat is the silent killer is

(30:58):
that everyone has these passions.
Each and every person iscreated in the image of God and
each and every person have thesegifts and talents.
When you decide to follow Jesusand you're filled with the Holy
Spirit, there's things unlockedin you that you may have not
had access to, but there'sdesires that are in you

(31:18):
regardless, that you feelinclined to, and there's things
that you're good at.
And if you see yourself wrongly, or you see those gifts wrongly
, like sure, you can manipulatethose things to do the wrong
things, but those things areinside of you and it's like a
gravitational pull towardssomething.

(31:39):
And it's towards this plan thatGod has for your life.
And what happens is is, themore you compromise and the more
you do things like that ifyou're selling yourself for sex,
you're gonna start to believethat, even though you still have
this desire to do this thing,this thing becomes unattainable

(32:00):
to you and you feel like, well,all I can do is stay here.
Even if this hurts, even if I'mmiserable, even if I hate every
aspect of my life, I have tosay that I love it.
I have to say that there'snothing wrong with it.

(32:21):
I have to proclaim one thing,because how I, if my words lined
up with how I felt, I would bea hypocrite.

Chris Grainger (32:30):
Yeah.

Joshua Broome (32:34):
And that's where I found myself stuck.
I found myself stuck in that,yeah, I made over a million
dollars.
Well, that didn't make me feelany better.
Well, I won all these awards,but it didn't make me feel any
better.
You know, I surfed on everybeach I wanted to surf on.
It didn't make me feel anybetter.
And the winning the performerof the year, like that, was kind

(32:55):
of the icing on the cake for me, where I thought, well, I got
nominated for it several yearsin a row and that's like the
industry and the people withinme industry saying you're the
best and I won that award.
But when I won it and it didn'tmake me feel like I thought it
would, which you can.
You know you can make thatargument about anything.

(33:19):
Well, if I had the marriage, theporn addiction would go away.
You know, if I had the job, youknow, the anxiety would go away
.
If I had this, I will feel thisway.
You can't fix a heart issue,because a heart issue is a
spiritual issue and there's onething that can fix that.
But I believed I could fix itand when my ways of trying to

(33:43):
fix it didn't work, thedepression that I was already
struggling with.
It deepened the anxiety that Iwas already struggling with.
It heightened I felt like mylife was falling apart, to the
point where I decided to make aplan to take my life, Because I
believed, with a shadow of adoubt, that I'm never going to

(34:10):
be a husband.
Like sure I could marry someone, I could convince someone to
marry me, but I'll never be ahusband.
I would never be a father.
Like sure I can get a girlpregnant, but I don't have the
capacity to be a father.
I've never seen it, modeled orexperienced it.
How could I ever be a father?
And then, thirdly, my passionin life is to create things to

(34:36):
impact people in a positive way,and it's like, well, who's
gonna want me to do that?
Who would ever give me theability to impact them?
And what organization orbusiness is going to want me to
contribute to what they're doing?
Right, right, so if all thosethings are true, then all of my

(35:00):
passions are dead, so I thoughtI might as well die.

Chris Grainger (35:06):
Man, josh, let's just take a quick break.
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I am curious to sit on, josh,with you, man, one thing that
was jumping out when you weretalking.
I definitely want to like toknow more about your

(36:32):
relationship with your mom, whatthat looked like, what she was
there with you for the actingand things like that earlier,
but also when you were talkingabout how that role you achieved
, all these things which younever were fully or finally
satisfied.
It was bringing you down, man.
I run into this all the timewith guys that I work with and

(36:53):
just their typical jobs, becauseso many of us we define
ourselves by our career.
Now, your career happened to bein the adult film industry, but
you still define yourself bythat.
But, man, I know engineers, Iknow salespeople that define
themselves that way and theyconstantly are chasing that next
rung on the ladder and theydon't ever consider that the
ladder's leaning against thewrong building.

(37:14):
It's just like.
So, man, I think your story isresonating on several levels
there, because it's not justthat industry you're in but your
identity being in that.
So I just want to kind of pointthat out for our listeners.

Joshua Broome (37:28):
Yeah, yeah, 100%, yeah.
So I mean I get to the pointwhere I do a film after I do the
film.
It was in Atlanta.
I flew back to LAX on the plane.
On the way there, on the wayback, I figured out what I was
gonna do take my life and I getback to where I was living.

Chris Grainger (37:54):
And this is after you won the award, right.

Joshua Broome (37:56):
Yeah, yeah, I had this plan and I knew how I'm
gonna do it and I'm gettingready to do it.
And then I've got from thatshoot from the last film I did.
I still got that check in mypocket.
It was a gigantic cashier'scheck, payroll check, and I
don't know why it was justdriving me crazy in my pocket.

(38:17):
And then I was thinking, well,if I'm gonna take my life, might
as well make sure I got as muchin my account as possible, that
way my mom or whoever will getit.
And I'm gonna go deposit thischeck and I go to the bank and
when I would go to the bank Iwould never go through the line.

(38:41):
I would go ATM or draw box,right.
Because on the memo of thechecks it would say what it was
for.
It would say this grow test.
Name of the website, name ofthe movie, right.
So I didn't wanna look hey,here's this check for this.
I didn't wanna face that.
But on this day I didn't care.

(39:03):
So I feel like the ATM wasbroken, something was wrong with
the drop box.
So I was like, whatever, Idon't care.
And I went through the line,slipped the check across the
counter.
She asked me if I had myaccount number.
No, it's where I'm a card.
She fills it out for me, I signit, deposit the check, hands me

(39:26):
my receipt and as I go to walkaway, she says Joshua, are you
okay?
Joshua, can I do something foryou?
And what she didn't know is thatI had so much shame and guilt

(39:50):
from being in the industry thatI stopped returning my mom's
call.
I stopped returning her text.
I unfriended most of the peoplethat cared about me on social
media because they kept sayingthe same thing over and over
again Right, hey, man, I loveyou.
Right, but you're better thanthis.
And when someone says that toyou, you got two options you

(40:16):
either gonna listen to them orpush them away.
That's right.
And because that's the power ofaccountability, I love you.
So I'm telling you this, butit's up to you to accept it.
And I rejected it.
So it had been over a year sinceI had heard my real name,
because in that industry you goby a pseudonym, you go by stage

(40:39):
name, right?
So the person that cut my hairat the gym and at the studio and
I was a recluse.
I didn't go out unless I wasbeing paid to be somewhere.
So all I heard was this stagename.
So Joshua didn't even exist.
And when she said my name, itshattered this plausible reality

(41:03):
that I created, based on shameand guilt, and I felt every bit
of the guilt that came from justrobbing my mom, of just knowing
that I was okay, yeah, and itwoke me up to my identity.
I believed that I was oneperson and that other person
Joshua, has died.

(41:25):
And when she said my name, itwoke me up and I ran across the
street to where I was living andI was crying and snotting and
chills and I didn't know what todo and I called my mom and she
said the same thing she had beensaying for seven years I love

(41:47):
you.
You're better than this.

Chris Grainger (41:50):
Yeah.

Joshua Broome (41:51):
And then as long as you just come home.
And then I was like okay.
So I picked up the phone and Icalled my agent, and I called
the studio that was representingme.
I was in a contract.
What do I need to do?
Break it?
Call the PR person, I quit, Iquit, I quit, I quit, I quit.
And then, within no time I wasout of there, I'd sub-leash my

(42:13):
apartment to the first personthat would didn't even sign
anything.
It's like hey, you can have allof my stuff.
I'm taking my clothes.
You promised to pay rent.
Okay, good enough for me, I'mout of here.
And then I was gone.
But for two years, though, eventhough I got a job at a gym.

(42:35):
I worked my way up in the gymand worked my way up to a
management position, and I had alittle bit of history in
personal training and stuff likethat.
So that was really my only move.
But I covered up my tattoos,shaved my head, deleting my
social media.
I wanted to believe that Icould just move and sweep

(43:00):
everything under the rug andpretend that that never happened
, but the reality was so.
I was working at a gym and Iwas working at Whole Foods, and
my first day at Whole Foods.
I'm walking by a department,and then a guy was like hey,
aren't you that guy?
And right away I recognized me.

(43:23):
And then someone elserecognized me, because for me,
as I looking in, if you watchporn, I was the most popular guy
in the industry.
What are you doing here?
So I couldn't run from it.
So for two years I would lieuntil I got found out, and when
I would find out, I would justkind of well, it is what it is.

(43:46):
I hurt so many people, becausea lot of times, withholding the
truth from someone who trustsyou hurts equally bad as lying
to their face, and that's what Iwould do.
Though.
What were you doing inCalifornia?

(44:06):
Just doing some modeling andacting, but please don't look me
up.
And so that happened for a longtime.
And then, but in spite that, Ihad a lot of success in the gym
industry, working my way up.
I became a popular trainer,started working my way to

(44:30):
creating this online personaltraining business I was doing
really well for myself, Went,lost everything financially.
I remember I had this Breitlingby Bentley watch that I love so
much the next year, becausewhen I was in that industry,
yeah, I was making $350,000,$400,000 a year, but I most

(44:54):
definitely wasn't paying taxesquarterly or just whatever.
I might die today, but I knowI'm going to make $10,000
tomorrow who cares?
But all of a sudden removedfrom that and it cost me a lot
of money to get out of theindustry because I broke
contracts and all this stuff sovery quickly next tax season

(45:16):
come around and I had to paytaxes on something and I hadn't
been making money.
So I had to sell that watch topay taxes and I was pretty much
broke.
But I worked my way back up andanyway, I say all that to say I
lost everything and it's stilllying, but still had success in

(45:37):
that industry.
But at night I had the nighttears.
I'm constantly looking over myshoulder Every time I meet
someone.
It's just a moment, it's just amatter of time until they find
me out, right, and I'm just soexhausting living my life that
way.
And one day this girl walksinto the gym, super pretty, best

(46:01):
athlete, and I'm like I'm goingto ask her out and she's like
no, I'm okay, and I was like hey.
And then she's like, well, I'mgoing to run in the morning if
you want to meet me at this park.
I don't want to the run that yousound like you're going to go
on, I'll do sprints.

(46:22):
I don't want to go for like a45 minute hour long run, but I
will run with you.
I will run with you.
And I went and I met her and Igot there a little bit earlier
than she did and I feel like itwas a combination of like
hearing my mom's voice in myhead and the Holy Spirit trying

(46:42):
to work on me.
But I just felt, man, youcannot lie to this girl.
Yeah, do not, boy, don't youlie to that girl, you know?
And then, before we even startedrunning, we were walking and I
was like, hey, I need to tellyou something.

(47:03):
I used to do a little bit ofporn.
She was like, excuse me, what?
And I was like, man, just tellher the entire truth.
And I feel like I like blackedout for five minutes.
She's like here's everythingbad about me, here's a case for
how bad of a person I am.

(47:24):
I told her everything and shestood there for a while like
pretty enamored by what I saidand finally it was funny Her
face kind of went from beingflabbergasted to really serious
and she looked at me and said doyou know?

(47:45):
A person's not defined by theworst thing they've ever done,
and a person's not defined bythe greatest thing they'll ever
do.
A person is defined by God.
You don't get to defineyourself.
Do you know who God is?

(48:06):
And I was like for me.
I live my whole life with thismask on, where I don't know who
I am, but I'm really good atpretending to be who I think you
want me to be, so that you willlike me, and I think that's
something that so many people dofor so long.

(48:28):
And you rob yourself of theblessing of being the person
that God created you to be andyou rob people that you're in
relationships with from theauthentic version of yourself.
But that's where I was in mylife.
So I was like, yeah, this andthat, yeah, sure I know God is.

(48:54):
And then she pressed in alittle bit more.
She's like, ok, well, what'syour relationship with Jesus?
Look like, where are youplugged in community?
Where do you go to church,things like that, and I was like
yeah, I was like OK, you got me, you got me, that's right.
And then she's like well, I'vebeen following Jesus since I was

(49:17):
in the seventh grade.
My whole family are Christians.
I'm not perfect by any means,but Jesus is the foundation in
which I live my life and hisrelationship, his relationship,
the relationship I have with him, is the basis of how I make

(49:38):
decisions.
And then she was like well, doyou like tacos?
Like what do you like to eat?
I'm like what?
What?
I don't understand.
I've been lying to people myentire life because I felt like
if someone actually knew me,then they would be out of there.
There would be no, there wouldbe no interest in me.

(49:58):
But you're telling me that Itell you the truth and you want
to be around me.

Chris Grainger (50:07):
Right.

Joshua Broome (50:09):
And then she's asking me what are some of your
goals?
What are some of your dreams?
I'm like I don't have any.
I don't know, I don't have theability to dream, I don't know.
And she tells me I'm a teacher,I teach English as a second
language.
I work with kids that Englishis not the first language in

(50:33):
their home.
Most of them they need helpreading and writing.
But I help them get on theright grade level so that they
can continue learning at thelevel that they need to be
learning.
And I'm just like I help peopledo squats.
I don't know.
You know that's how I sawmyself in a moment.

(50:57):
And then so this was on Eastereight years ago.
And the next week she invitesme to church.
And I was like we've beentexting all week.
And I'm like, sure, whatever,if that place, it resembles what

(51:18):
you're like Sure.
And I walk in and there's thisbig wooden plaque it says we
want to love people where theyare and encourage them to grow
in their relationship with JesusChrist.
And I'm like, okay, jesus, I'veheard a little bit about him.
He sounds cool, but love mewhere I'm at.
There's no way.
If you knew the things thatI've done, I have no place here.

(51:41):
And then I walk in and it wasfine from an aesthetic
standpoint the music was great,all the lights and all that good
stuff.
And then the little bit ofchurch that I was exposed to
when I was a kid.
It was like a very strictSouthern Baptist church where if

(52:03):
you had a wrinkle in your shirtyou're going to hell, and then
never even thought that someonecould stand on a stage in
anything other than athree-piece suit and preach.
And this guy in cowboy bootsand jeans and a t-shirt gets on
stage and he's the pastor of thechurch.
He's an older guy and he soundslike my grandpa this is in

(52:29):
Raleigh, north Carolina and itsounds like my grandpa and he
starts talking about how hisrelationship with Jesus changed
his life and how he was a mess,but Jesus, over time and the
truth of the Bible changed him.
And he starts sharing thisstory about this dynamic between

(52:51):
Jonathan and David and how whenJonathan died, historically,
when a new king came into reign,the previous kingdom was
completely wiped out.
Everyone was killed becausethey didn't want anyone in that
previous kingdom to think theyhad access to this new kingdom.

(53:12):
But David was different.
David said this is out of FirstSamuel, the Joshua Broome
paraphrase version.
But in First Samuel, you'retelling, it's a story where
David says, hey, actually, isthere anyone left out of
Jonathan's lineage?
And they're like actually, yes,my fellowship.

(53:33):
And David sends his guard tofind my fellowship, and my
fellowship is essentially inhiding.
He's thinking I'm going to bekilled.
And instead of extending aspear, david's guard extends a
hand, brings him back into hiskingdom, gives him a seat in
that kingdom forever and evenrestores his land.

(53:55):
And then the pastor pivots.
He's like you know what?
Like my fellowship, he believedthat he deserves death.
Romans 3.23 says that we've allsinned and fall short of the
glory of God, and Romans 6.23says the wages of that sin is
death and that death is eternalseparation from God.
So we're separated from Godbecause of our sin and we're all

(54:19):
guilty of it, and there's noway to be reconciled back to God
, because we need a bridge thatwe can't build because we're
imperfect.
God requires perfection.
So what are we to do?
And then he goes on.
He says well, jesus comes intothis world and he lives this
perfect life, being fully Godand fully man.
He never sins.

(54:40):
And then he goes to the crosswillingly because he loves you,
and he dies for all sin, for alltime.
And on the third day he rises,solidifying his identity.
He's the son of God, the Messiah, the ones that takes away the
sins of the world, and becauseof his perfection and because of

(55:02):
his deity, and you put yourfaith.
If you put your faith in him,then you are covered by his
blood and you can be saved, youcan be forgiven, you can be made
new.
And I hear this and I wasthinking a lot of things in that
moment, but I think the waythat the Holy Spirit ministered

(55:25):
to me specifically, it allowedme to see two things Jesus went
to the cross, not because I wasso bad and I needed to be this
or that.
It was nothing about me.
It was because he loves us thatmuch that, with joy set before
him, he went to the cross.

(55:46):
And then, secondly, the fatherthat I had been desiring my
entire life I actually had, andhe was waiting for me with arms
wide open, not because I didsomething, because he had done
something for me.
So, right there, right then,you know, just fell on my face

(56:08):
and just wept and cried out toGod.
And the burden that I've beencarrying not because of porn,
because of my heart condition,my entire life, my brokenness
that got worse and commolutedbecause of the decisions I made
and things I didn't have.
I just let all that pressure goRight and this burden came off

(56:32):
my shoulders and I felt lighterthan I've ever felt and I felt
more loved than I ever felt andI gave my life to Jesus in that
moment.
And so that happened, and thatgirl that I went on that run
with, we've been married forseven years and so that's my

(56:52):
wife.
We've got three boys andanother child on the way.
And when we had our first childI remember when he was born, I
walk over to the little thenurse who just wiped all the
slime off of him and he wasstill kind of ugly and kind of

(57:14):
cone shaped head with a littlebonnet on, but just like
adorable and she's like you cantouch him and I'm like I don't
know what to do.
And I reached my hand towardsthis little baby boy and he
grabs my finger and then thatmoment I felt God speak to me.

(57:37):
I think I love you so much morethan that Powerful right.
Yeah, so, and so we named himCanon.
So Canon in Hebrew meansmeasuring sticks.
So for us, me and my wife,that's the measure of God's
grace.
I never thought I would livethe life that I live today, but

(58:01):
because of his grace and hismercy.
Not that I'm promised to be afather, not that I'm promised a
son, but he was gracious enoughto give me one.
And the wildest and mostimportant part of my story, I
think, is that a few days afterI gave my life to Jesus, again

(58:25):
my personality, I'm like well,if I'm going to follow Jesus,
I'm all in, that's right.
All I know, all I know is 110.
And I go to the church and I'mlike hey, is there a pastor I
can talk to?
And this is a large, multi-sitechurch.
I go to the main office and I'mlike hey, is there a pastor
around in this?
Ironically, the executivepastor was right there.
And he's like, yeah, come to myoffice and I tell him this

(58:48):
story.
He's just like holy cow.
He's like, okay, he's like man,we got to get you with a Bible
and teach you how to read it.
And I never.
I was like I need a Bible, sure, but you need to teach me how
to read it.
I was like what does that mean?

(59:08):
What are you reading?
And he's like, down the hallthere's this gentleman.
His name's Andrew Yates and herecently graduated from Dallas
Theological Seminary and he'smoved up here and he's helping
us, him and his family, they'rehelping us launch another campus
.
I think he would have time tospend, you know, to spend some

(59:29):
time with you, and he's gonnaspend 30 minutes to an hour like
just teaching me how to readthe Bible.
And he started talking to meabout context and like how to
read the Bible in proper context.
You know, observation,interpretation, application,
stuff like that, and that 30minutes or whatever, however
long we're supposed to be there,we stay there three hours, wow.

(59:50):
And then from that day Iwouldn't go away because I was
hungry.
So at the gym I started giving,you know, clients and hours
away at the gym so I could spendmore time with him at church
and I spent so much time withhim.
They didn't have an internshipprocess, but they did after they

(01:00:11):
got through with me because Ijust hung around and he started
taking me through some of thecurriculum that he went through
at DTS and man, the biggestchange for me was that I was a
good learner, but I wasn't agood student because I don't

(01:00:37):
think that I'd really tappedinto what type of learner I was.
And something the Holy Spiritdid it gave me a hunger for the
Word of God and it allowed me tohave this, really the
supernatural self-awarenesswhere I quickly figured out,
well, if I'm listening tosomething and I mean this is how

(01:01:01):
a lot of people learn best butfor me it was like this Eureka
moment.
But if I would hear somethingand I would take notes on it and
then I'd regurgitate it back tohim, opposed to just listening
and taking notes.
That's how I'm most of college,if me learning, you know
monologues and my lines andstuff like that I would just

(01:01:23):
like I would read them and readthem and read them and say them
in my head or sometimes out loudor whatever, but I would be
able to regurgitate information,which is very different than
learning information and beingable to apply it.
So I just had a supernaturalhunger for the Word of God and
then, all of a sudden, I foundmyself being able to learn and

(01:01:47):
dig deeper into this stuff andactually teach it back to him
and just fell in love with it.
And we got a few opportunitiesto share my story on a radio
station and then the same guywho ran this radio station.
He was like hey, man, I'mhaving this yearly once, or this
is the way he said.
Once a year I have this eventat this church and I would love

(01:02:11):
for you to share your story.
I was like yeah sure Soundsgreat.
What I didn't know is that, likeShane and Shane and like you
know, it was a huge likefundraising event that he did
yearly to fund his radio stationbut I was going to be and I was
, you know, the keynote for thenight.
I was speaking and but I wasreally just I was supposed to

(01:02:33):
share my test, my testimony, andI had 17 minutes to share my
story and what my life lookslike today and some of the
things that I'm hopeful for.
And I felt I, like you know on,you know, now, following Jesus
and this is probably a year intome following Jesus I felt the

(01:02:58):
need to perform again.
I felt, okay, I'm going toshare my story.
I got to.
You know, I want to make peoplefeel emotional because
communication was something Istudied most of my life and I
had a essentially have a formatwhen I would coach or where I
would do events, you know, onthe on, the, on the fitness side

(01:03:18):
and other stuff.
No field do I want someone toknow something.
I want them to feel emotion andthen I want them to take that
knowledge and the emotion thatI've emoted through my
communication and then call themto action.
What do I want you to do withthose emotions and that
knowledge that I just gave youRight.

(01:03:39):
So that's what I wanted to do.
I want to tell a story.
I want people to feel emotion,and I'm not sure what I wanted
them to do, you know, and I justfelt so much pressure and, as
it was my turn to be up there,it was time, and I felt so
stressed out and I walked up tothe podium and I had, you know,

(01:04:02):
these notes, you know my, mymonologue that I was going to
read, and I just, you know itnot, not, not audibly, but I
hear in my spirit um, son, Ilove you, amen, and it, and it

(01:04:22):
just this level of you know,this feeling of peace, just
washed over me and it's like,man, um, there's nothing that
I'll ever do that compares towhat you've already done for me.
And I don't have to perform,you know, um, I just need to
tell people how good you are,and, and so, for 17 minutes, I

(01:04:43):
took about, I think I took likemaybe eight minutes to tell my
story, and then I fumbledthrough Romans road.
I was like here's the gospel,and, um, you know, it wasn't, it
wasn't the best preachingthat's ever been done.
It probably wasn't the worst,um, because I was just reading
it from from the text, but, um,afterwards I felt so exhilarated

(01:05:10):
, um, and I was like man, that'swhat I want to do.
Like that's what I want to do,like there's nothing that fires
me up more than sharing thegospel, amen.
I was like, okay, I don't knowwhat that looks like, but that's
what I want to do forever.
And uh, andrew kept, you know,working with me.

(01:05:34):
I ended up going to Liberty andstudied biblical theology.
Um, you know, uh, very earlyalong in my process of getting
my masters and uh, just you know, god's opened up door after
door after door, um, to preachbut also be on platforms like

(01:05:54):
Tucker Carlson, you know,candace Owens.
I did Michael Knowles um, a fewweeks ago and it's insane, it's
already got almost a millionviews.
But, just you know, they always, uh, I get so excited.
When they asked me the question,how did you get from here to
there?
I was like, yeah, the answer isRomans 10, nine.

(01:06:15):
You know that, like, that's theanswer.
The answer is, um, I was brokenbeyond repair and we actually
all are and I tried my very bestto make enough money to do
enough things to make myselfbelieve right that I could earn
some level of satisfaction.
Um, but it didn't work.

(01:06:37):
But what I found to be true wasthat there was a God that
created each and every one of us, that loves us so much that he
sent his son into this world topay a debt that we couldn't pay.
And if we put our faith in him,move it, our trust in him,
we're giving a new heart and anew purpose and a new meaning.
And then everything that didn'tmake sense, that used to

(01:07:01):
struggle with and wrestle withat night, it makes perfect sense
when you give everything to him, because that's what you were
created to do and that's thatlong game that you were
wrestling with the entire time.
Amen, that man.

Chris Grainger (01:07:15):
Well, how about the industry now?
Do you, are you trying to helppeople in that and try to bring
them out of that darkness?
And just what are you doingthere?

Joshua Broome (01:07:24):
Yeah, so I've had a lot of opportunities to work
with organizations like Nicosi,so the National Coalition
Opposing Sexual Exploitation.
I've spoke at Capitol Hill afew times and we're seeing this
legislation, the Earn it Act andit's there's a lot of facets to
this legislation, but the mostimportant part is that they're

(01:07:47):
implementing and there's there'sthree states that are actually
implementing this actively todaywhere, in those states, if you
are to access any kind of sexual, any website with sexual that's
sexually explicit, you have touse a government issued ID.
You have to put in that youhave to like pretty much like if

(01:08:10):
you're going to get a planeticket you got to put your.
You got to put government issuedID, your, your you know that
level of information so thatthey can, you know, make sure
that you're 18.
So what it does?
Two things Number one obviouslyprotects kids, but secondly,

(01:08:32):
it's a barrier.
Do you really want to put youknow your driver's license
number in there so that you canwatch this stuff?
So I've had some opportunitiesto speak on, you know, capitol
Hill, about that legislation.
I love to see that it's takenflight.
And man, when I first got out ofthe industry I'm sorry when I

(01:08:54):
first gave my life to Jesus, Ifelt like man.
I need to connect with thosepeople that still have
relational equity with him.
Industry and I think this is agreat lesson If you've just came
out of something, you mightfeel the zeal to rescue people
from something, but you have toprotect yourself because the

(01:09:15):
enemy will use things to drawyou and he can't do anything.
He can't steal your salvation,but he can get you off course.
So for me, I felt this desireto go save everyone.
Connect you with people onsocial media, start following
them, and then, all of a sudden,I'm seeing stuff that I had no

(01:09:39):
business seeing and it starts,you know triggering me and you
know making me think, all thisstuff, and I'm like man, this is
, this is just not it.
And, luckily for me, I hadpeople in my life.
That number one.
I was being honest with what Iwas doing.
And they love.
They love me enough to say, hey, this isn't good for you.

Chris Grainger (01:09:58):
Yeah.

Joshua Broome (01:10:01):
So so for me that wasn't the way, but what I love
is that, because of the waythat I've lived my life and
because of some of the things,that.
I'm doing today.
There's people who are in theindustry that see that there is
life on the other side of this.

(01:10:22):
Because people stay in thatindustry, because they believe.
Well, you know, I've ruined mylife, there's nothing else I can
do, so I have to stay stuckwhere I am, and that's the case
for, you know, any anyone inthis struggling with anything,
where it's like, you know, ifyou're overweight, this is just

(01:10:43):
who I am.
This is who I'll always be IfI'm stuck in this addiction.
I can't you know this.
This is just who I am.
This is what I'll always do,and that's the enemy.
That's not God and like is itgoing to be hard?
And this presence in theinterוב 습?
Is it going to be hard work?
Yes, there's nothing that'sworth anything, that's just
going to fall on your lap.

(01:11:04):
That's right.
That's just not how it works Tofollow Jesus.
What do you need?
You need surrender anddiscipline.
It's daily surrender and beingdisciplined to do the things
that God has called you to.

Chris Grainger (01:11:21):
Yes.

Joshua Broome (01:11:23):
You see, john 14, 15 is like if you love me,
you'll obey my commandments.
An immature Christian would saysee this mean dictator God
saying if you love me, you'll dowhat I say.
But when you come to know thetone of God's voice and you
understand His character, you'llsee that God's saying if you
trust me, I've got a better planfor your life.

(01:11:45):
If you do what I say, you'llactually live that life that
I've designed you to live andyou'll find that I've gave you
gifts and talents and abilitiesso that you'll be prosperous as
you walk out this plan that Ihave for your life.
That's right.

Chris Grainger (01:12:03):
Now, what about the guy who out there right now
is listening?
He's watched this whole podcast, he's listened to it and he's
going to go home tonight.
He's probably got a wife.
He's going to go in thebathroom.
He's going to look at porn.
Yeah, it happens all the time.
What is something, a messagethat, coming from that industry,
that you want to share withthat man in this moment to help

(01:12:24):
him understand the darkness thatthe door to that opens?

Joshua Broome (01:12:29):
Yeah, I want to start with this Anytime I give a
talk.
I'll start with this Do youbelieve that all people are
worth human dignity?
I've never heard anyone say no.
If you believe that everyperson is worth human dignity,
you're actually robbing thatperson, that you're washing of

(01:12:51):
their dignity because you don'tknow their level of consent.
You don't know if they wantthat on the internet right now.
You don't know what it coststhem to be there.
You don't know if they weremade to be there.
You don't know how old they are.
You don't know if they got.
There's someone in thebackground with a gun pointed at

(01:13:12):
them, because all those thingsare true and they happen in
their online.
Then, secondly, you're robbingyourself of your dignity.
Amen, that's right.
Man and, to be completely honest, man, that fact that maybe they
don't want that imagery onthere.

(01:13:32):
I've got a bunch of stuff onthe internet.
I don't want it on there.
I don't want people watchingher.
To the extent where there'speople in my life that this was
the journey.
They get in the industry.
This is predominantly girls.
But they get in the industry.
They become somewhat well-known.

(01:13:53):
Their popularity starts todissipate.
Everyone that's in the industrythey have a no list.
I don't want to do these things.
Then, once they stay in theindustry and the novelty of them
wear off a little bit, there'sthese things that they haven't
done.
The agent goes to the studiohow much will you give me if

(01:14:17):
they will agree to do this thing?
He goes and he finds thehighest bidder and then he goes
back to the girl and he says,out of nowhere, this studio
offered $30,000.
If you do that thing that yousaid you didn't want to do I
know you said you didn't want todo it, but if you do it you'll
be relevant again, you'll startworking again and everyone will

(01:14:38):
want to hire you again when theydo it.
Then, after they do it, it'sjust another commonality.
After all, those things are offthe table.
Then there's escorting, whichis just another name for
prostitution.
It's prostitution, but it'sjust what you call it in the

(01:14:59):
porn industry because it'svalidated, because you're
already essentially doing that,then they're doing that.
You only get called if you'repopular in the industry.
The last leg is these peopleworking at a strip club.
They're feature dancing wherethe strip clubs are paying them

(01:15:21):
a fee.
If they have a name, they'llbring more people there.
They pay them a fee to be there, but that's kind of like the
last on the list.
Once all those things stophappening and the phone stop
ringing, you have a girl who'saged out, which is in the
industry like 30 years old.
Their phone's not ringinganymore.

(01:15:41):
They've had everyone in theirlife telling them this is who
you are.
This is all your worth.
You'll never do anything else.
You'll always be like thisbecause of what you've done.
It's going to be on theinternet forever.
This is going to be your lifeforever.
No one's going to want you.
You stay in that industry andyou're dating or everything
you're doing revolves aroundbeing in the industry.

(01:16:02):
Then your phone stops ringing.
You believe that your behavioris indicative of your identity.
You are a porn star, that's notwhat you do, that's who you are
.
Their phone stops ringing andthey're hurting and they're
alone and they're broken andthey believe the lie that's true

(01:16:26):
to them, that this is whattheir lives going to look like.
It's not getting any better.
There is no light at the end ofthe tunnel.
I left the industry almost 11years ago and over the last 11
years, 30 people that I know thenames of I know them personally

(01:16:47):
have taken their life.
So sad, yeah.
Overdose or purposely self-harm, suicide here's what the porn
industry does.
When they do that, in honor ofthem they'll release a

(01:17:08):
compilation of all of theirfilms.
What they do is they monetizeon everything that killed them.
Here's another thing.
Know this.
Know that those are the peoplethat you're watching.
In addition to that, thepornography industry is a
hundred billion dollar industry.
It's watched more than Amazon,netflix, hulu all combined.

(01:17:31):
It makes more money than theNBA, major League, baseball and
NFL all combined.
Those dollars and cents theycome from the monetization
through viewership and ads.
They come from you watching itTo the person that watches it.
That's where that money comesfrom.

(01:17:52):
You know what else those MindGeek, the large organization
that's based out of Canada thatowns most of these websites.
They have a relationship withtraffic junkie.
When you go into that websiteand you happen to see something
inappropriate pop up on yourFacebook, it's not an accident.
They sell your information totraffic junkie in Google and

(01:18:12):
other places.
Your information is being sold.
What your funding is anorganization that is openly
making money off of minors.
Making money off of sextrafficking is impacting rape
culture In Kansas City.
There's one nurse.

(01:18:33):
Her name's Heidi.
She saw 100 cases in one monthin Kansas City not in some crazy
place In Kansas City.
She saw 100 cases of a siblingbeing addicted to pornography
and tied up and raped theirsister or brother.
100 cases in one month.

(01:18:56):
90% of pornography has some kindof violent imagery in it.
It's destroying our culture.
57% of divorces have somethingto do with pornography.
I say all these things to hey.
A small compromise in any areaof your life is going to lead to

(01:19:20):
compromise in every area ofyour life.
It's chipping away at yourmental health.
It's chipping away at yourability to have integrity In a
real way.
It's ruining your mind.
If you take the brain ofsomeone who is addicted to

(01:19:41):
cocaine and someone who'saddicted to pornography, you
look at the brain, the dopaminelevel that hits to your synapse.
You look at this brain, thesetracks, and they look similar.
It's impacting your ability tofocus.
It's impacting so many areas ofyour life.

(01:20:02):
You're contributing to anindustry where it's really
hurting women, it's reallyhurting kids.
It's destroying marriages.
You pick something that peopleare passionate about and it's
monetizing that.
It's monetizing identity.

(01:20:23):
You look at the top niches ofpornography.
They're taking identity aspectsand they're monetizing off of
them, because they know what isthe thing that people struggle
with most their identity.
That's the thing that changeseverything.
When you realize that youridentity is based off of God,

(01:20:46):
who made you for a purpose, onpurpose, you, you're not just
another person in the mix.
There's something that God hasfor you today on this earth that
only you can accomplish Someonein your community.
There's something that's in youthat needs to be expressed.

(01:21:09):
There's something that Godwants to do in and through your
life.
The struggle that you have isthat you're not doing that.
Pornography and sin in generalit causes you to see yourself
wrongly so that you won't liverightly.

Chris Grainger (01:21:25):
Right man.
That is powerful, Josh.
I think that was a great placeright there just to our guys to
think about.
This is why I wanted to haveyou come on, just to expose the
darkness that's going on here inthis industry, Josh.
This has been an absolutephenomenal.
Where do you want to send theguys to follow you?
The types of content that youput out?
I know you're trying to help somany people.

(01:21:47):
Where do you want to point themat here?

Joshua Broome (01:21:49):
Yeah, the best place.
I got a lot of stuff going on,but my social media across the
board is I am Joshua Broome.
My website is JoshuaBroomme.
We're working on a few things.
We had this sitehelpmebefreecom me and Addison

(01:22:12):
Brevere.
Addison Brevere, john Brevere'sson, a great friend of mine.
That content is on MessengerX,if you want to go through that
curriculum.
So MessengerX incrediblediscipleship resource.
It's free.
Addison and I, we go throughreally in five videos, from one
to five, just really expressingmy journey.

(01:22:34):
How did I become free?
And it was really just thisprocess of number one.
I couldn't be free until I metthe person who can set you free,
so the gospel they're knowingJesus.
And then I have to takeinventory of my life.
What are the things that I'mallowing into my life, what am I

(01:22:55):
listening to, what am Iwatching, and also what are the
voices that I'm allowingspeaking?
Who am I allowing to haveauthority into my life?
And then I need to setboundaries.
I tell my kids not to touch thestove because it's hot.
And then what I love is whenbig brother tells little brother
hey, don't touch that, it's hot.

(01:23:15):
Why would he say that?
Not because he knows, becausehe trusts his father.
So if we can come to trust whatour father has said is best for
us, that's the way to live.
But we need to set.
We need to take that and applyit to our lives.
So we need to set boundaries.
So what that might look like forme is having all of my smart
devices locked down, havingcoveted eyes or some kind of

(01:23:39):
something on your phone that'spreventing you from accessing
anything that's actuallyexplicit, because it's just
irresponsible for you to make iteasy to have access to those
things.
And it causes you, if you'vegot to put in a code or take
something off or put somethingon what, it causes you to come

(01:24:01):
to that crossroad and say, hey,why is this here?
Why did I do this in the firstplace?
Am I willing to do the thingthat I wanted to protect myself
from?
And then, lastly, thataccountability factor.
And this is something that Icould go on and on and on, but
I'll just say this reallyquickly Accountability.

(01:24:22):
Accountability is not me saying,if we were in this conversation
, me and you, chris, and we'relike you tell me, hey, I watched
something that shouldn't havewatched.
I'm like, oh man, Chris, youdid that again.
Man, you know better than that.
That's not helpful.

(01:24:43):
But if I said, hey, chris,right now, speakerphone, we're
calling your watch, that's alsonot helpful.
But that middle ground is,chris, you told me that this is
hurting you and hurting peoplethat you love.
You told me that this wasleading you in an opposite

(01:25:05):
direction, that you said yourlife wanted to go.
And then the big question let'stalk about why did you say yes?
Because the porn isn't theproblem.
The problem is why you'resaying yes to it.
Because, if you can take a stepback and assess, I'm feeling an

(01:25:27):
emotion and instead ofcontemplating why I'm feeling
this way or what I'm feeling,I'm just going to medicate the
emotion that I don't want tofeel.
I'm not going to understand whyI'm doing that.
Porn in itself is destructiveand it's so detrimental to

(01:25:47):
society, but porn is not theproblem.
Porn is the medication to theroot.
And if I can get to the root,that's how I can be set free, if
I can get to a place to say,hey, I have a desire to watch
pornography, but the reality is,maybe I've got a deep rooted

(01:26:09):
intimacy issue and there'ssomething that I'm desiring that
I'm not getting and I'm tryingto fill it with something
counterfeit and the thing aboutcounterfeit anything it's fake
and it's not fulfilling and I'mjust going to need more and more
and more.

Chris Grainger (01:26:25):
Amen to that, brother.
Amen.
Well, man, Josh, this has beensuch a powerful conversation.
Thank you so much.
We'll make sure those links arein the show notes for you
listeners out there.
Be sure to follow them out.
They have a room with the Eguys, so make sure if you're you
don't check the show notes out,make sure you spell that, put
that E on there.
So that's right.
That's it, man.
Thank you so much for your timetoday and just for powerful

(01:26:47):
story, and just keep.
Keep up the good fight, myfriend.

Joshua Broome (01:26:50):
Thank you so much , Chris.

Chris Grainger (01:26:54):
We have a resource that allows you to test
how strong of a Christianleader you are.
We designed a short quiz so youcan see for yourself how
prepared you are for the battle.
Don't worry, it's multiplechoice and it's a lot of fun.
So, to access this freeresource, visit the lion
withinus slash quiz that's thelion withinus slash quiz and see

(01:27:17):
if you are ready to unleash thelion within All.
Right, guys, I know, I know thatwas that was a long
conversation.
I appreciate you guys forhanging out.
And look, I want you to thinkabout this.
What area of your life rightnow do you need to bring into
the light?
Whatever your life is you needto bring into the light?

(01:27:39):
You know, josh is walking in avery dark place.
Fellas, let's just be real.
To be a not only a consumer ofpornography, but to be a creator
of that type of content, bigtime just impacted a hat on him
the scars, but he's not definedby that and you are not either.

(01:27:59):
Whatever your browser, historyis, it's just.
That is history.
That is not to find you.
Do you need to turn away fromit Absolutely?
Do you need to repent, or sure?
Do you need some accountability?
Yep, need that too, but don'tthink for a second that that
website that you looked at hasany definition of who you are.

(01:28:21):
So hopefully this conversationhelped.
If you know someone that isstruggling with this or someone
that just needs to hear amessage like this, I'd encourage
you to share this out.
Okay, you can go to our website.
You can share out the link tothe YouTube video or you can
share it to podcast directly,but this is sent it to others.
Send it to your men's group.
You can send it to just as agroup chat to your men's group,

(01:28:44):
and you never know how that onestep of obedience could open up
an opportunity for you to have aconversation that could change
one man's life.
I'm telling you, guys, youdon't know how the Holy Spirit
is going to work.
It works two crazy ways and alittle podcast, like the Lion
Within is it can definitely work.
I'm seeing it work.

(01:29:04):
So are you going to take thatstep of obedience and share it
with others?
I really hope you do so.
Go to check out TheLionWithInus.
For all our resources, guys, wehave all the ways that we try
to help others there.
We have our coaching, we haveour mastermind groups, we have
our community for sure, ourdaily spiritual kickoff, our
leadership coalition program.
Guys, it built so much and somany things.

(01:29:28):
It's going to serve you, okay.
So go check that stuff out.
Thelionwithinus Love to hearfrom you there.
Again, a five star rating andreview.
That helps in the podcast world.
I'm just going to be real withyou.
So if you haven't left therating and review yet, I'd
encourage you do it today.
Just go click on over, scrolldown to the bottom, hit five
stars.
Give her a quick review.

(01:29:48):
One or two sentences makes abig difference on the way the
podcast reaches others.
All right, well, come on backon Friday.
We're going to have some greattips for you on our fun Friday
episode.
Looking forward to seeing youthen.
So again, guys, lean into theword, understand it.
Who's you are that you have thepower to overcome the darkness
and keep unleashing the lionwith him.