August 27, 2025 • 27 mins
God handpicked you to lead your family. This wasn't by accident or coincidence—it was by divine design. Yet many Christian fathers struggle with feeling inadequate, believing the enemy's lie that someone else could do a better job. The truth? You were chosen specifically for your family, and your presence matters more than your perfection.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chris Grainger (00:03):
Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast
serving Christian men who arehungry to be the leaders God
intends you to be.
I'm your host, chris Granger.
Let's jump in.
All right, fellas, this is yourmeat episode.
Let's get right into it, okay?
So the scripture of the weekthis week is in the book of 2
Timothy, the first chapter, thefifth verse.
It says For I am mindful of thesincere faith within you which
(00:23):
first dwelled in yourgrandmother, lois, and your
mother, eunice, and I am surethat it is in you as well.
Guys, love that little verse,just a good reflection for us,
and I took some time on ourspiritual kickoff episode to
help you see how you cansimplify and apply this to your
life.
Ok, again, monday throughFriday, we do these spiritual
kickoffs within the Lion Withinus.
(00:44):
So if you enjoy these episodesthe lionwithinus Now that's also
where you'll find where we geta lot of the content that we're
going through today.
It's found directly on theBible app.
So if you're not using theBible app, what are you waiting
on, buddy?
Like seriously?
It's almost a billion peoplewho have downloaded this thing.
Get on the Bible app, searchfor the Lion Within Us.
(01:05):
We put these stuff out all thetime.
I've got one right on mycomputer over here to the side
that I'm writing right now.
This is just a steady way thatwe try to serve and the ones
that do very well.
We share them on our podcast.
This is it.
This is what we call it.
I'm just a guy raising kids andI'm hopeful that, as we go
through this, there's somethingthat's going to resonate.
(01:28):
And you just need to hear onething God handpicked you to lead
your family.
This was not by accident.
This was designed okay.
Now the enemy is trying to doall he can to make us feel
discouraged, to make us feeldisqualified and to make us feel
defeated, because he wants usto believe A lie that we're not
(01:50):
enough, that somebody else couldlead our family better.
And he's just full of it, bro,he's full of it.
We got to reject that crap andstand firm in the truth.
But Because reality is we werecalled by God, we were
handpicked and we had to protectwhat matters most, and it's
(02:15):
time to start fighting for thefamily that God had in mind all
along.
So now Remember, we have to bethe primary encourager of faith
in our families.
Go back to the spiritual kickoffepisode.
We talked about that one verse.
That's what we're called to do.
We have to be that primaryencourager.
Then we also have to be leadingby example, because it says in
(02:38):
Deuteronomy, part of the Shema,it says these words, which I am
commanding you today, shall beon your heart and you shall
repeat them diligently to yoursons and speak of them while you
sit down in your house, whenyou walk down the road, when you
lie down and when you get up.
And that's the sound ofDeuteronomy.
So we start thinking about that.
What does that mean?
Well, I mean, for some of us,our dads were our heroes.
(03:04):
For me that's the case.
He was and still is.
And I remember trying to walkin his shoes, man, and literally
trying to walk in his shoes.
How funny it was, because therewas nothing more fun than
putting my small feet into hisbig shoes and trying to clunk
around the house Because I feltlike I was stepping into
greatness man.
(03:25):
Now I'm having these fouryoung'uns on my own.
I'm on receiving end and it'sscary.
There's a weight that comeswith knowing that our kids are
watching every move.
You know, you hear people talkabout there's more caught than
taught.
I've even said that a lot hearpeople talk about.
There's more caught than taught.
(03:46):
I've even said that a lot, butnothing hits as hard on that
saying for me as seeing my ownwords and mannerisms reflected
back to me, particularly mylittle boy.
It's just crazy.
Because we live on a farm, hisdays are full with barn animals
and farm chores and tractors andjust wide open space.
(04:09):
And if I got my cowboy hat on,you can bet your bottom dollar
he is going to have his or it'sgoing to be a fight.
If I'm on a tractor, he's onboard.
If I'm in the barn, he's rightthere beside me.
And these words in Deuteronomyjust hit, they just hit.
And these words in Deuteronomyjust hit, they just hit.
And while I love teaching himstuff and I try to be a man,
(04:31):
scripture shows me that mygreatest responsibility is to
continually point him to theLord.
That's it, continually pointhim to the Lord.
And for the longest time when Istarted thinking about this
directly, I thought that simplytaking my family to church was
(04:54):
that box.
And while that does matter I'mnot anti-church.
You should go to church, forsure.
But man that can't beoutsourced no, it can't be
outsourced.
But man that can't beoutsourced.
No, it can't be outsourced.
God placed that responsibilityon me, on my shoulders.
It ain't a Sunday morning thing, it's an everyday, all the time
thing period, and that was ashift in mindset and it has
(05:22):
really helped me be moreintentional, teaching them God's
word through these differentdevotions and journals and
reading scripture.
That's what it's about thispassage.
Right here, deuteronomy pushesit even further.
It says to diligently teach andmodel God's ways in every
moment.
So when you're sitting down,when you're lying down, when
(05:44):
you're getting up and that meanslike when you hit your thumb,
like when I hit my thumb happensall the time with a hammer and
or that day completely unravels.
They're watching, bro.
They're watching to see how werespond.
It's like Teaching a lesson onself-control and then you blow
(06:08):
up over something minor.
That's like the spiritualequivalent of telling them to
eat their vegetables, and whilethey're doing that, I'm eating
Hershey's bar.
Right, it don't add up, andrightly so.
So I just want to encourage you.
If you don't feel equipped orif you're afraid of messing up,
he's with you and your effortmatters, your presence matters,
(06:32):
and every step that you takewith your kids and point them
towards Him, no matter howimperfect it is, you're planting
a seed that could bear fruitfor the kingdom.
So, bro, give yourself a littlebit of grace.
It is your responsibility, butthis is a great opportunity we
have as men.
(06:52):
So the question to think about,maybe, is how do you respond
when life doesn't go as planned?
Because your kids, boys andgirls, they're watching that
stuff.
How about what it says inProverbs 22 as well?
It says to train up a child inthe way he should go, and when
(07:14):
he grows older he will notabandon it.
Now, I never really thought thatdiscipline was directly coupled
with care until I startedworking on some horses.
I'm telling you, boy, I gotkicked in the chest by a mare
one day.
She was gone Her food.
(07:34):
I was just in the wrong placeat the wrong time and that was a
start for mine before me.
And then we had another horseand I tried to lead her.
She's 14 years old.
I tried to lead her around andshe's acting like she's never
seen a hawk before in her life.
And it's crazy because thesehorses, again, we take care of
(07:57):
them as part of what we do.
They're not wild or neglected,but they missed some crucial
teaching when they were young.
They lacked that earlydiscipline and now it's showing
up as resistance, as fear andsometimes danger.
And it's not that they're badanimals, they're not.
They're just untrained and thatuntraining has consequences.
(08:21):
And what's really clear to me,after working with these horses
now and just being a dad for along time now as well, is that
discipline isn't just aboutcontrol.
It's about cultivating thatsafety and that trust,
especially when you're dealingwith an animal like a horse.
They're powerful, they're huge.
You can't just hope things workout right.
(08:42):
There's a necessary level ofdiscipline with them, structure,
consistency, authority.
That must be established if anyrelationship truly meaningful
relationship is going to happen,because without it somebody's
going to get hurt, just like Idid.
Right, usually it's the one whocares the most.
(09:12):
I recognize that in my life whenI look at my house and I watch
my son respond to a cleardirective it was never spoken.
It's funny, it can be funny.
It's frustrating Because deepdown I know what I'm aiming for
isn't blind obedience.
I'm trying to teach youmeekness.
(09:34):
That's not a word we use awhole lot, is it?
But it's a powerful word.
Meekness really is strengthunder control.
It's choosing restraint whenyou could unleash absolute fury.
It's harnessing wildness in away that serves others instead
of overpowering them.
(09:54):
And that's what I want for myboy, so doggone bad.
I don't want to crush hisspirit Are you kidding me?
I want to guide it.
I want to shape him into a manwho knows how to stand tall and
lead with grace and discipline.
When we start thinking about itin this light starts to become
(10:14):
really different, because it'snot punishment, it's preparation
, it's training, it's molding,it's forging, and sometimes it
shows up as correction.
Sometimes it's a spanking OK,yes, gosh, you can still spank
your kids.
Ok, it's OK.
Sometimes it's a hardconversation, but it's all
(10:37):
rooted in love, not frustration,and that's the difference maker
.
And I thought for the longesttime the best thing I could do
for my kids for real was to betheir friend.
And I was so jacked up BecauseI thought if I could just keep
the peace and have fun with them, then I'd win as a dad.
(10:58):
But scripture don't tell methat man.
Scripture is very different.
Our calling is to be theirparent first, a shepherd, a
guide, a source of wisdom andtruth.
It can't just be aboutentertainment, and that
friendship could come later.
For sure it can Think about meand my father, but it can't be a
(11:19):
starting point.
If my dad started with me beinghis friend first, I shudder to
think what it would look like.
I wasn't able to appreciatethat until I got older and had
my own kids, and the respect Ihad for him was not born out of
fear.
It was born out of that steady,loving way.
(11:40):
He corrected me and he shakedme.
Now it's my turn.
So maybe you're a dad and you'refeeling confused by discipline
or even guilty after doing it.
I get it, man.
I get it, but it is our duty.
It's not something that we doto our children, guys, it's
(12:02):
something we do for them.
I mean, think about a river,the way a river flows down.
On one side you havediscernment, on the other side
you have knowledge.
Discipline is like the banksthat holds the water in place,
because if you don't have that,water just goes everywhere and
it's chaos, floods, havoc.
But when you have thatdiscernment, when you have that
(12:24):
knowledge, when you have thatwisdom, that discipline all
there, it becomes a force ofdirection.
And that's what our younginsneed, not absence from
boundaries, but presence ofguidance.
And just like those horses Italked about earlier, if we
don't take the time todiscipline them.
To discipline them, to teachthem, to correct them, to lead
(12:48):
them.
We're setting them up for afuture struggle, and it may not
feel good at the moment, may notbe popular, but I'm telling you
, this discipline is necessaryBecause, in the end, it's one of
the most profound ways that wecan show love, because it really
(13:10):
what it says is that I love youtoo much to let you drift and
your future matters more thanyour comfort.
So just think about that andI'd ask you are you leading your
children or are you trying tobe their friend?
Think about that.
(13:33):
We're going to take a break.
We'll be right back.
Guys, I've got something big toshare.
We're making a major shiftbecause we know the battle is
real and it's time more men hadaccess to the support they need.
For too long, guys have beentrying to carry the weight alone
pressure at work, tension athome, wounds from the past, in a
world that demands strength butoffers no place to rest.
We see it, we've lived it, andthat's exactly why we built our
(13:56):
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And starting now, we're makingit easier than ever to step in.
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That means for less than thecost of a drive-thru lunch, you
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(14:19):
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If you've been waiting for theright time to jump in, this is
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Go to thelionwithinus and jointhe community and see for
yourself what happens when irontruly sharpens iron.
(14:40):
All right, guys, we're back now.
So look, let's keep digging intoit again, this whole idea of
I'm just a guy raising kids andsometimes you got rebellious
kids.
You just do.
Kids can be rebellious.
And when you start thinkingabout the prodigal son out of
Luke 15, the prodigal son out ofLuke 15, I can't think of a
(15:00):
better framework to to kind ofhelp us work through this
together.
And something I've learned thelonger I've walked through to
being a dad 15 years now is thatnot every hill is worth dying
on.
Okay, because each one of mykids has unique characteristics.
(15:23):
They do, and choosing whichbattles to engage has become a
critical practice for me, andI'll be honest.
My kids get it honest.
Okay, because, as far as that,because I can remember, I've
been rebellious.
Heck, I even had a licenseplate that said rebel.
Okay, so it's just part of it.
But no matter what therebellious tendencies I had, my
(15:49):
parents always instilled in methat the home I grew up in was a
safe place.
It was a safe place, and what'sfascinating is that when it
became my turn to be a dad thatrebellious streak that I loved
and I still hold on to it, I tryto I got frustrated when I saw
(16:13):
it being reflected in my kidsand I didn't like that.
That was a tension inside of meand it made me step back and say
man, why is this bothering meso much?
I started thinking about somedifferent parenting styles that
are out there and what appliedparticularly over the last few
generations.
We've all heard helicopterparenting You're hovering close
(16:36):
and you're managing every littledetail of your kid's life.
The intent is good, because youwant to protect, you want to
guide, you want to ensure thatsafety right.
So the intent's there.
Then you hear the lawnmowerparents, right, this is where
your goal is just to remove anyobstacle, just get it out the
way.
I don't even want to have toface it.
Well intentioned, becausenobody wants their kids to
(16:59):
struggle.
But for me I start thinking tostart, something clicked my
frustration with my kids.
Rebellion wasn't about them atall, it's about me.
No-transcript.
Their acts of defiance, nomatter how big or small,
(17:22):
challenged the illusion I had inmy mind that I controlled stuff
, and that hit a nerve, hit hard.
And when I started holding upthat mindset against the father
and the parable of the lost sonthere's a big contrast there and
it humbled me, because Jesuspaints a picture of a father who
(17:44):
lets go.
He watches his only son walkaway.
You don't chase him, he doesn'tmanipulate him, he doesn't
coerce him.
What does he do?
He waits.
And then, when that boy comesto his senses, the father
doesn't shame him, he doesn'tlecture him, he runs to him with
(18:07):
compassion and that embracethat they had master class,
master class for grace andleadership as a dad, because
just imagine the ache that hehad in his heart watching his
boy disappear out in thedistance and he resisted the
(18:30):
urge to dominate the outcome.
And that's the type of dad thatI'm striving to be and I'm sure
you are too Leading with love,not controlling, and this can be
a difficult space for us to sitin, because it just hits hard,
right, but maybe you identifywith the Father right now and
(18:52):
you're feeling heartbrokenbecause you got a rebellious
child.
Or maybe you are the prodigaland you're still far from home,
but our Heavenly Father isunwavering.
So if you got this rebelliongoing on in your home right now,
just take heart.
Your home is a safe place toland.
They need to know that.
(19:14):
Lean into your prayer of life,let go of this illusion of
control that we hold on to asdudes, and then be ready with
your arms open for your day thatyour child returns.
Because I'm going to tell youwhat.
There's nothing more powerful,from a loving standpoint for a
father than simply being there,bro, just being there, just
(19:38):
waiting, just watching andbelieving that their story is
not over yet.
So just think about for you howdo you respond when your
authority is challenged, andthen be truthful with that
answer, and then that will giveyou some insight on what you can
do to address it.
Because at the end of the day,fellas, we have to trust God
(20:01):
with our future.
It tells us in Proverbs 3,.
It says trust in the Lord withall your heart.
You're not leaning on your ownunderstanding and all your ways
of knowledge.
He will make your path straight.
That's 3, 5, 2, 6, right, soletting go doesn't mean we got
to check out, okay, and I hadthat backwards for a long time.
People told me to let go.
I equated that too often withstepping away from
(20:24):
responsibility, and there's nobetter story for me to explain
this to you guys than 2021.
Because what happened was thatthat reality collided with
reality.
There was a collision rightthere in reality when we found
out that my wife was pregnant,again react.
(20:44):
There was a collision rightthere in reality when we found
out that my wife was pregnantagain 2021.
And just so you know, in 2020,we lost our daughter, faith May.
We have a whole podcast on thatout there.
She was stillborn, beautifullittle girl, perfect in every
way, and, uh, I remember holdingher, pleading her for her eyes
to open, and, and unfortunately,her eyes never did.
And God, uh, I remember holdingher, pleading her for her eyes
to open, and, and unfortunately,her eyes never did, and God
(21:07):
chose to take her home.
You know and and that and thatI can't get into that right now
because then I'll start breakingdown and crying.
I just I go listen to thatepisode.
It's in the Wayback Machine.
If you just search Faith,you'll, you'll, you'll find her
episode.
This is very special to me.
So when I learned that there wasanother baby on the way man,
(21:30):
anxiety went through the roof.
Let's just say that Everyappointment, every ultrasound,
every pause in a conversation,fear started gripping and I
became hyper-controlling y'all.
It was not good.
I scrutinized every move, everydecision and I thought I was
being vigilant, but really whatI was trying to do was play God.
(21:52):
My wife was very concerned andcarried herself with grace and
trust, and eventually I had toface the hard truth.
What my actions were reallysaying was God, I don't trust
(22:17):
you.
And saying that out loud isstill hard to say, but my
behavior was such it was clear.
I was angry man, I was hurt.
I didn't want to surrenderagain.
But I knew that every breath Itake is a gift.
Every heartbeat of the kidsthat he's given me is a miracle.
(22:39):
I can't make their hearts beat,and God had proven his
faithfulness over and over andover.
Yet I was letting oneheartbreaking moment cloud my
entire view of his goodness, andI wish I could sit here and
tell you, boys, that the anxietywent away, but I'd be lying to
you.
I ain't going to do that.
I stayed on edge the whole time, the whole time.
(23:02):
And when I finally held mynewborn little girl in August of
that year and I got to hear hercry for the first time, brother
, I can't even explain theemotions that came out.
And then I realized that Godloves this little girl even more
than I do, just the same way heloved my other daughter.
So there's a lot outside of ourcontrol as dads.
(23:25):
But please hear me, bro.
God chose you on purpose tolead your family in this life,
and trusting him doesn't mean wewalk away.
It means we stay engaged, thatwe leave with courage, that we
rest in his sovereignty, becauseevery time we get to hear one
(23:45):
of our kids call out daddy Idon't know if your kids say
daddy or not, my kids say daddyman it's a reminder that we're
still in the game y'all and weshouldn't trade that.
So if you're a dad or a futuredad, I do pray that this has
stirred something in you.
I pray you keep leaning intothe faith and that you keep
(24:08):
showing up and keep remindingyourself that you are the man
God handpicked for the job, bro,and I'm cheering for you.
I'm cheering for you.
So, again, we talked about thisquestion all week this week is
who truly leads the spiritualdirection of your home right now
?
And my prayer is, after goingthrough the spiritual kickoff
and now this episode, thatyou're getting a little bit more
(24:32):
encouraged that you're the manfor a job.
So, guys, if you like this man,check them out on the bible app
.
I try to put these out.
I do a lot of writing, so justopen up the bible app.
Search for the Lion Within Us.
You can connect with us rightthere TheLionWithinus also.
We have links there on thewebsite for that.
I would ask you also just toconsider checking out what we
(24:55):
offer, from a spiritual kickoffto the community, to the
leadership mastermind.
Guys, we are leaning in hard.
We're building a lot ofresources.
We're going all in because wefeel like God's called us to do
this and it's genuine.
It's not some corporate type ofprogram that's just thought up
(25:15):
in a think tank and trying topush.
That ain't how this works.
This works with genuineconnections, genuine
relationships, relationships,genuine conversations, one at a
time, nothing flashy.
So if you feel a littleisolated, like you don't have
anybody who really knows what'sgoing on, we're here for you.
So you just head over to theline within dot us.
(25:38):
Don't forget to the the linewithin dot us.
Alright, guys, we'll hopefullyenjoy this one.
We'll see you next time.
Come back for our fun Fridayepisode.
We'll keep unpacking a few tipsand maybe even a dad joke or
two.
How about that?
Have a great day, guys, andkeep unleashing the lion within.
Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast
serving Christian men who arehungry to be the leaders God
intends you to be.
I'm your host, chris Granger.
Let's jump in.
All right, fellas, this is yourmeat episode.
Let's get right into it, okay?
So the scripture of the weekthis week is in the book of 2
Timothy, the first chapter, thefifth verse.
It says For I am mindful of thesincere faith within you which
(00:23):
first dwelled in yourgrandmother, lois, and your
mother, eunice, and I am surethat it is in you as well.
Guys, love that little verse,just a good reflection for us,
and I took some time on ourspiritual kickoff episode to
help you see how you cansimplify and apply this to your
life.
Ok, again, monday throughFriday, we do these spiritual
kickoffs within the Lion Withinus.
(00:44):
So if you enjoy these episodesthe lionwithinus Now that's also
where you'll find where we geta lot of the content that we're
going through today.
It's found directly on theBible app.
So if you're not using theBible app, what are you waiting
on, buddy?
Like seriously?
It's almost a billion peoplewho have downloaded this thing.
Get on the Bible app, searchfor the Lion Within Us.
(01:05):
We put these stuff out all thetime.
I've got one right on mycomputer over here to the side
that I'm writing right now.
This is just a steady way thatwe try to serve and the ones
that do very well.
We share them on our podcast.
This is it.
This is what we call it.
I'm just a guy raising kids andI'm hopeful that, as we go
through this, there's somethingthat's going to resonate.
(01:28):
And you just need to hear onething God handpicked you to lead
your family.
This was not by accident.
This was designed okay.
Now the enemy is trying to doall he can to make us feel
discouraged, to make us feeldisqualified and to make us feel
defeated, because he wants usto believe A lie that we're not
(01:50):
enough, that somebody else couldlead our family better.
And he's just full of it, bro,he's full of it.
We got to reject that crap andstand firm in the truth.
But Because reality is we werecalled by God, we were
handpicked and we had to protectwhat matters most, and it's
(02:15):
time to start fighting for thefamily that God had in mind all
along.
So now Remember, we have to bethe primary encourager of faith
in our families.
Go back to the spiritual kickoffepisode.
We talked about that one verse.
That's what we're called to do.
We have to be that primaryencourager.
Then we also have to be leadingby example, because it says in
(02:38):
Deuteronomy, part of the Shema,it says these words, which I am
commanding you today, shall beon your heart and you shall
repeat them diligently to yoursons and speak of them while you
sit down in your house, whenyou walk down the road, when you
lie down and when you get up.
And that's the sound ofDeuteronomy.
So we start thinking about that.
What does that mean?
Well, I mean, for some of us,our dads were our heroes.
(03:04):
For me that's the case.
He was and still is.
And I remember trying to walkin his shoes, man, and literally
trying to walk in his shoes.
How funny it was, because therewas nothing more fun than
putting my small feet into hisbig shoes and trying to clunk
around the house Because I feltlike I was stepping into
greatness man.
(03:25):
Now I'm having these fouryoung'uns on my own.
I'm on receiving end and it'sscary.
There's a weight that comeswith knowing that our kids are
watching every move.
You know, you hear people talkabout there's more caught than
taught.
I've even said that a lot hearpeople talk about.
There's more caught than taught.
(03:46):
I've even said that a lot, butnothing hits as hard on that
saying for me as seeing my ownwords and mannerisms reflected
back to me, particularly mylittle boy.
It's just crazy.
Because we live on a farm, hisdays are full with barn animals
and farm chores and tractors andjust wide open space.
(04:09):
And if I got my cowboy hat on,you can bet your bottom dollar
he is going to have his or it'sgoing to be a fight.
If I'm on a tractor, he's onboard.
If I'm in the barn, he's rightthere beside me.
And these words in Deuteronomyjust hit, they just hit.
And these words in Deuteronomyjust hit, they just hit.
And while I love teaching himstuff and I try to be a man,
(04:31):
scripture shows me that mygreatest responsibility is to
continually point him to theLord.
That's it, continually pointhim to the Lord.
And for the longest time when Istarted thinking about this
directly, I thought that simplytaking my family to church was
(04:54):
that box.
And while that does matter I'mnot anti-church.
You should go to church, forsure.
But man that can't beoutsourced no, it can't be
outsourced.
But man that can't beoutsourced.
No, it can't be outsourced.
God placed that responsibilityon me, on my shoulders.
It ain't a Sunday morning thing, it's an everyday, all the time
thing period, and that was ashift in mindset and it has
(05:22):
really helped me be moreintentional, teaching them God's
word through these differentdevotions and journals and
reading scripture.
That's what it's about thispassage.
Right here, deuteronomy pushesit even further.
It says to diligently teach andmodel God's ways in every
moment.
So when you're sitting down,when you're lying down, when
(05:44):
you're getting up and that meanslike when you hit your thumb,
like when I hit my thumb happensall the time with a hammer and
or that day completely unravels.
They're watching, bro.
They're watching to see how werespond.
It's like Teaching a lesson onself-control and then you blow
(06:08):
up over something minor.
That's like the spiritualequivalent of telling them to
eat their vegetables, and whilethey're doing that, I'm eating
Hershey's bar.
Right, it don't add up, andrightly so.
So I just want to encourage you.
If you don't feel equipped orif you're afraid of messing up,
he's with you and your effortmatters, your presence matters,
(06:32):
and every step that you takewith your kids and point them
towards Him, no matter howimperfect it is, you're planting
a seed that could bear fruitfor the kingdom.
So, bro, give yourself a littlebit of grace.
It is your responsibility, butthis is a great opportunity we
have as men.
(06:52):
So the question to think about,maybe, is how do you respond
when life doesn't go as planned?
Because your kids, boys andgirls, they're watching that
stuff.
How about what it says inProverbs 22 as well?
It says to train up a child inthe way he should go, and when
(07:14):
he grows older he will notabandon it.
Now, I never really thought thatdiscipline was directly coupled
with care until I startedworking on some horses.
I'm telling you, boy, I gotkicked in the chest by a mare
one day.
She was gone Her food.
(07:34):
I was just in the wrong placeat the wrong time and that was a
start for mine before me.
And then we had another horseand I tried to lead her.
She's 14 years old.
I tried to lead her around andshe's acting like she's never
seen a hawk before in her life.
And it's crazy because thesehorses, again, we take care of
(07:57):
them as part of what we do.
They're not wild or neglected,but they missed some crucial
teaching when they were young.
They lacked that earlydiscipline and now it's showing
up as resistance, as fear andsometimes danger.
And it's not that they're badanimals, they're not.
They're just untrained and thatuntraining has consequences.
(08:21):
And what's really clear to me,after working with these horses
now and just being a dad for along time now as well, is that
discipline isn't just aboutcontrol.
It's about cultivating thatsafety and that trust,
especially when you're dealingwith an animal like a horse.
They're powerful, they're huge.
You can't just hope things workout right.
(08:42):
There's a necessary level ofdiscipline with them, structure,
consistency, authority.
That must be established if anyrelationship truly meaningful
relationship is going to happen,because without it somebody's
going to get hurt, just like Idid.
Right, usually it's the one whocares the most.
(09:12):
I recognize that in my life whenI look at my house and I watch
my son respond to a cleardirective it was never spoken.
It's funny, it can be funny.
It's frustrating Because deepdown I know what I'm aiming for
isn't blind obedience.
I'm trying to teach youmeekness.
(09:34):
That's not a word we use awhole lot, is it?
But it's a powerful word.
Meekness really is strengthunder control.
It's choosing restraint whenyou could unleash absolute fury.
It's harnessing wildness in away that serves others instead
of overpowering them.
(09:54):
And that's what I want for myboy, so doggone bad.
I don't want to crush hisspirit Are you kidding me?
I want to guide it.
I want to shape him into a manwho knows how to stand tall and
lead with grace and discipline.
When we start thinking about itin this light starts to become
(10:14):
really different, because it'snot punishment, it's preparation
, it's training, it's molding,it's forging, and sometimes it
shows up as correction.
Sometimes it's a spanking OK,yes, gosh, you can still spank
your kids.
Ok, it's OK.
Sometimes it's a hardconversation, but it's all
(10:37):
rooted in love, not frustration,and that's the difference maker
.
And I thought for the longesttime the best thing I could do
for my kids for real was to betheir friend.
And I was so jacked up BecauseI thought if I could just keep
the peace and have fun with them, then I'd win as a dad.
(10:58):
But scripture don't tell methat man.
Scripture is very different.
Our calling is to be theirparent first, a shepherd, a
guide, a source of wisdom andtruth.
It can't just be aboutentertainment, and that
friendship could come later.
For sure it can Think about meand my father, but it can't be a
(11:19):
starting point.
If my dad started with me beinghis friend first, I shudder to
think what it would look like.
I wasn't able to appreciatethat until I got older and had
my own kids, and the respect Ihad for him was not born out of
fear.
It was born out of that steady,loving way.
(11:40):
He corrected me and he shakedme.
Now it's my turn.
So maybe you're a dad and you'refeeling confused by discipline
or even guilty after doing it.
I get it, man.
I get it, but it is our duty.
It's not something that we doto our children, guys, it's
(12:02):
something we do for them.
I mean, think about a river,the way a river flows down.
On one side you havediscernment, on the other side
you have knowledge.
Discipline is like the banksthat holds the water in place,
because if you don't have that,water just goes everywhere and
it's chaos, floods, havoc.
But when you have thatdiscernment, when you have that
(12:24):
knowledge, when you have thatwisdom, that discipline all
there, it becomes a force ofdirection.
And that's what our younginsneed, not absence from
boundaries, but presence ofguidance.
And just like those horses Italked about earlier, if we
don't take the time todiscipline them.
To discipline them, to teachthem, to correct them, to lead
(12:48):
them.
We're setting them up for afuture struggle, and it may not
feel good at the moment, may notbe popular, but I'm telling you
, this discipline is necessaryBecause, in the end, it's one of
the most profound ways that wecan show love, because it really
(13:10):
what it says is that I love youtoo much to let you drift and
your future matters more thanyour comfort.
So just think about that andI'd ask you are you leading your
children or are you trying tobe their friend?
Think about that.
(13:33):
We're going to take a break.
We'll be right back.
Guys, I've got something big toshare.
We're making a major shiftbecause we know the battle is
real and it's time more men hadaccess to the support they need.
For too long, guys have beentrying to carry the weight alone
pressure at work, tension athome, wounds from the past, in a
world that demands strength butoffers no place to rest.
We see it, we've lived it, andthat's exactly why we built our
(13:56):
community.
It's a stronghold, a placewhere warriors can find rest,
truth and a band of brothersstanding beside them.
And starting now, we're makingit easier than ever to step in.
We've lowered the barrier tojust $15.99 a month.
That means for less than thecost of a drive-thru lunch, you
can join a brotherhood that'scentered on Christ and built for
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Inside you'll find access toour daily spiritual kickoffs
(14:19):
every Monday through Friday, ourLion Lunches, our Bible Studies
, our Friday Forge Gatheringsall that and so much more.
Every man needs a stronghold,and you don't have to fight
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If you've been waiting for theright time to jump in, this is
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Go to thelionwithinus and jointhe community and see for
yourself what happens when irontruly sharpens iron.
(14:40):
All right, guys, we're back now.
So look, let's keep digging intoit again, this whole idea of
I'm just a guy raising kids andsometimes you got rebellious
kids.
You just do.
Kids can be rebellious.
And when you start thinkingabout the prodigal son out of
Luke 15, the prodigal son out ofLuke 15, I can't think of a
(15:00):
better framework to to kind ofhelp us work through this
together.
And something I've learned thelonger I've walked through to
being a dad 15 years now is thatnot every hill is worth dying
on.
Okay, because each one of mykids has unique characteristics.
(15:23):
They do, and choosing whichbattles to engage has become a
critical practice for me, andI'll be honest.
My kids get it honest.
Okay, because, as far as that,because I can remember, I've
been rebellious.
Heck, I even had a licenseplate that said rebel.
Okay, so it's just part of it.
But no matter what therebellious tendencies I had, my
(15:49):
parents always instilled in methat the home I grew up in was a
safe place.
It was a safe place, and what'sfascinating is that when it
became my turn to be a dad thatrebellious streak that I loved
and I still hold on to it, I tryto I got frustrated when I saw
(16:13):
it being reflected in my kidsand I didn't like that.
That was a tension inside of meand it made me step back and say
man, why is this bothering meso much?
I started thinking about somedifferent parenting styles that
are out there and what appliedparticularly over the last few
generations.
We've all heard helicopterparenting You're hovering close
(16:36):
and you're managing every littledetail of your kid's life.
The intent is good, because youwant to protect, you want to
guide, you want to ensure thatsafety right.
So the intent's there.
Then you hear the lawnmowerparents, right, this is where
your goal is just to remove anyobstacle, just get it out the
way.
I don't even want to have toface it.
Well intentioned, becausenobody wants their kids to
(16:59):
struggle.
But for me I start thinking tostart, something clicked my
frustration with my kids.
Rebellion wasn't about them atall, it's about me.
No-transcript.
Their acts of defiance, nomatter how big or small,
(17:22):
challenged the illusion I had inmy mind that I controlled stuff
, and that hit a nerve, hit hard.
And when I started holding upthat mindset against the father
and the parable of the lost sonthere's a big contrast there and
it humbled me, because Jesuspaints a picture of a father who
(17:44):
lets go.
He watches his only son walkaway.
You don't chase him, he doesn'tmanipulate him, he doesn't
coerce him.
What does he do?
He waits.
And then, when that boy comesto his senses, the father
doesn't shame him, he doesn'tlecture him, he runs to him with
(18:07):
compassion and that embracethat they had master class,
master class for grace andleadership as a dad, because
just imagine the ache that hehad in his heart watching his
boy disappear out in thedistance and he resisted the
(18:30):
urge to dominate the outcome.
And that's the type of dad thatI'm striving to be and I'm sure
you are too Leading with love,not controlling, and this can be
a difficult space for us to sitin, because it just hits hard,
right, but maybe you identifywith the Father right now and
(18:52):
you're feeling heartbrokenbecause you got a rebellious
child.
Or maybe you are the prodigaland you're still far from home,
but our Heavenly Father isunwavering.
So if you got this rebelliongoing on in your home right now,
just take heart.
Your home is a safe place toland.
They need to know that.
(19:14):
Lean into your prayer of life,let go of this illusion of
control that we hold on to asdudes, and then be ready with
your arms open for your day thatyour child returns.
Because I'm going to tell youwhat.
There's nothing more powerful,from a loving standpoint for a
father than simply being there,bro, just being there, just
(19:38):
waiting, just watching andbelieving that their story is
not over yet.
So just think about for you howdo you respond when your
authority is challenged, andthen be truthful with that
answer, and then that will giveyou some insight on what you can
do to address it.
Because at the end of the day,fellas, we have to trust God
(20:01):
with our future.
It tells us in Proverbs 3,.
It says trust in the Lord withall your heart.
You're not leaning on your ownunderstanding and all your ways
of knowledge.
He will make your path straight.
That's 3, 5, 2, 6, right, soletting go doesn't mean we got
to check out, okay, and I hadthat backwards for a long time.
People told me to let go.
I equated that too often withstepping away from
(20:24):
responsibility, and there's nobetter story for me to explain
this to you guys than 2021.
Because what happened was thatthat reality collided with
reality.
There was a collision rightthere in reality when we found
out that my wife was pregnant,again react.
(20:44):
There was a collision rightthere in reality when we found
out that my wife was pregnantagain 2021.
And just so you know, in 2020,we lost our daughter, faith May.
We have a whole podcast on thatout there.
She was stillborn, beautifullittle girl, perfect in every
way, and, uh, I remember holdingher, pleading her for her eyes
to open, and, and unfortunately,her eyes never did.
And God, uh, I remember holdingher, pleading her for her eyes
to open, and, and unfortunately,her eyes never did, and God
(21:07):
chose to take her home.
You know and and that and thatI can't get into that right now
because then I'll start breakingdown and crying.
I just I go listen to thatepisode.
It's in the Wayback Machine.
If you just search Faith,you'll, you'll, you'll find her
episode.
This is very special to me.
So when I learned that there wasanother baby on the way man,
(21:30):
anxiety went through the roof.
Let's just say that Everyappointment, every ultrasound,
every pause in a conversation,fear started gripping and I
became hyper-controlling y'all.
It was not good.
I scrutinized every move, everydecision and I thought I was
being vigilant, but really whatI was trying to do was play God.
(21:52):
My wife was very concerned andcarried herself with grace and
trust, and eventually I had toface the hard truth.
What my actions were reallysaying was God, I don't trust
(22:17):
you.
And saying that out loud isstill hard to say, but my
behavior was such it was clear.
I was angry man, I was hurt.
I didn't want to surrenderagain.
But I knew that every breath Itake is a gift.
Every heartbeat of the kidsthat he's given me is a miracle.
(22:39):
I can't make their hearts beat,and God had proven his
faithfulness over and over andover.
Yet I was letting oneheartbreaking moment cloud my
entire view of his goodness, andI wish I could sit here and
tell you, boys, that the anxietywent away, but I'd be lying to
you.
I ain't going to do that.
I stayed on edge the whole time, the whole time.
(23:02):
And when I finally held mynewborn little girl in August of
that year and I got to hear hercry for the first time, brother
, I can't even explain theemotions that came out.
And then I realized that Godloves this little girl even more
than I do, just the same way heloved my other daughter.
So there's a lot outside of ourcontrol as dads.
(23:25):
But please hear me, bro.
God chose you on purpose tolead your family in this life,
and trusting him doesn't mean wewalk away.
It means we stay engaged, thatwe leave with courage, that we
rest in his sovereignty, becauseevery time we get to hear one
(23:45):
of our kids call out daddy Idon't know if your kids say
daddy or not, my kids say daddyman it's a reminder that we're
still in the game y'all and weshouldn't trade that.
So if you're a dad or a futuredad, I do pray that this has
stirred something in you.
I pray you keep leaning intothe faith and that you keep
(24:08):
showing up and keep remindingyourself that you are the man
God handpicked for the job, bro,and I'm cheering for you.
I'm cheering for you.
So, again, we talked about thisquestion all week this week is
who truly leads the spiritualdirection of your home right now
?
And my prayer is, after goingthrough the spiritual kickoff
and now this episode, thatyou're getting a little bit more
(24:32):
encouraged that you're the manfor a job.
So, guys, if you like this man,check them out on the bible app
.
I try to put these out.
I do a lot of writing, so justopen up the bible app.
Search for the Lion Within Us.
You can connect with us rightthere TheLionWithinus also.
We have links there on thewebsite for that.
I would ask you also just toconsider checking out what we
(24:55):
offer, from a spiritual kickoffto the community, to the
leadership mastermind.
Guys, we are leaning in hard.
We're building a lot ofresources.
We're going all in because wefeel like God's called us to do
this and it's genuine.
It's not some corporate type ofprogram that's just thought up
(25:15):
in a think tank and trying topush.
That ain't how this works.
This works with genuineconnections, genuine
relationships, relationships,genuine conversations, one at a
time, nothing flashy.
So if you feel a littleisolated, like you don't have
anybody who really knows what'sgoing on, we're here for you.
So you just head over to theline within dot us.
(25:38):
Don't forget to the the linewithin dot us.
Alright, guys, we'll hopefullyenjoy this one.
We'll see you next time.
Come back for our fun Fridayepisode.
We'll keep unpacking a few tipsand maybe even a dad joke or
two.
How about that?
Have a great day, guys, andkeep unleashing the lion within.
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