September 22, 2025 • 15 mins
Fear of conflict can paralyze even the strongest marriages. Many of us grew up believing that healthy relationships were completely void of disagreement—that arguments signaled failure rather than opportunity. This podcast shatters that myth, revealing how forgiveness transforms the ordinary conflicts of marriage into extraordinary moments of growth.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast serving
Christian men who are hungry tobe the leaders God intends you
to be.
I'm your host, chris Granger.
Let's jump in.
All right, guys, it's spiritualkickoff time.
Let's get into it, okay?
So this week we are in the bookof Colossians, the third
chapter, the 13th verse.
Okay, it says bear with eachother and forgive one another.
(00:24):
If any of you has a grievanceagainst someone, forgive, as the
Lord gave you Love.
That verse, fellas.
Now let's see how we cansimplify and apply it to our
life.
And again, spiritual kickoff.
Fellas.
We love these episodes and wedo this Monday through Friday in
our Lion Within Us community,and we do it completely for free
(00:45):
.
We don't put the contentanywhere else.
It's an opportunity for you toget a little daily dose of
encouragement.
You can even join us live onthe live feed, and if you can't
make the live feed, the videosare there.
Head over to the LionWithinus.
Get started today with yourfree, daily spiritual kickoff.
Okay, so we need to understandwhat scripture.
(01:05):
First of all, we need to knowwhere it is.
I know it's simple, but wedon't want to just fly by stuff,
so we need to understand whereis the book of Colossians.
So that is your new Testament,okay, and it's you're going to
find it after Philippians.
Now, if you get the firstThessalonians, get to 1
Thessalonians.
Stop, just back up a little bit.
It's right before that.
(01:26):
This week we're going to bediving into one of the devos
that I wrote, or the Biblestudies that I wrote for the
Bible app.
I'm just a guy fighting for mymarriage.
It's done relatively well.
The message is out there.
Guys seem to be enjoying it.
I'm encouraged by the feedbackFor this particular spiritual
kickoff episode.
(01:47):
This verse matters because itgives us a direct insight into
conflict resolution.
Okay, and uh, I'm just going toshare some brutal, honest type
of reflections here today.
And and so my wife and I youknow, we, we don't fight, ok, we
have discussions.
That's what we call discussions, like we do.
(02:08):
That's just at least, that'swhat she calls it.
And it kind of threw me off thefirst time, and for the longest
time, though, to be fair man, Ireally thought that a healthy
marriage had no conflict, had noconflict, and whenever we would
have these arguments ordiscussions, they were flags or
(02:29):
signs, and I thought they meantthat we were broken or we were
on a fast track to just be onanother divorce.
And when we had our first kindof major disagreement I really
panicked and the fear that I haddidn't come out from nowhere.
I mean when I, when I grew up,I didn't see my parents argue a
(02:53):
lot.
They just didn't.
And I know they had conflictthey must have but they handled
it behind closed doors and thatreally gave me a perception that
healthy families just don'targue.
And I carried that into myadulthood.
And then on top of that, a pileon top of that, I walked through
(03:15):
a failed marriage.
You know the pain that goesthere.
And from that failure I wasreally determined to avoid
conflict wherever I could.
And I recognize now that thatwas a mistake.
And maybe you're in that placeright now and you're convinced
that conflict is a sign offailure.
(03:36):
But I'm recognizing this to betrue, guys, is that the
strongest marriage, the mostGod-centered marriage?
You're going to havedisagreements, you just are.
And that's not a failure in ourmarriage.
That's just the result of thehuman nature that we live in
humanity.
And conflict is not the enemy.
(03:57):
It's how we handle the conflictthat determines the strength of
our relationship.
And when I think about marriage,it's really an ongoing
discussion between two peopleand let's just be frank about
this.
At times those two people aregoing to disagree.
That could be things you knowwhere you send your kids to
(04:20):
school or where we're going tospend Thanksgiving this year.
But whatever that is, there'sgoing to be tension and it's
inevitable.
But it's not something thatshould be fearful of, because
these, in fact, areopportunities to grow and to
strengthen your marriage.
And I've learned a couple ofthings as I've tried to approach
(04:40):
conflict.
I'm still learning, guys, butthe first thing is that I have
to learn how to have thesedifficult conversations in a
solution-oriented way.
So that's a big difference thanjust trying to have a fight for
a fight.
Then number two got to learnhow to ask for forgiveness and
then extend it freely when it'sneeded.
(05:04):
And as Christian men, we have tothink about Do we or do we
demonstrate rather forgivenessin our marriage?
Like our goal should be thechief forgiving officer in our
marriage.
Let's just be real about this.
So is that the chief?
Do we want to be thatforgiveness guy or do you want
(05:24):
to be the avoidance guy?
And if I'm honest, I spent a lotof time avoiding because it's
safer, it's cleaner, it's lessemotional.
But avoidance doesn't reallyresolve anything, does it?
What does avoidance do?
Let's just be real.
It just delays it and then itcan amplify it if we don't, if
(05:45):
we're not careful and I'velearned the hard way that
unresolved tension can createdistance Because lots of times
when I look back over mymarriage and the painful moments
that we've had in it, they'rereally not caused by the
conflict itself, but really bymy failure to confront whatever
(06:10):
it was with humility and grace.
So if I'm choosing the silenttreatment which I do a lot
because I'm just a big punkright Instead of speaking up,
that doesn't serve.
If I just choose to sit andstew instead of forgive, that
doesn't serve.
In those moments I'm allowingmy emotional distance to grow
(06:32):
between me and my wife.
It's not healthy, fellas.
This verse reminds usforgiveness changes everything,
and forgiveness doesn't meanwe're just going to sweep it
under the rug.
No, we're not just going topretend nothing happened, but
it's a bold choice as aChristian man to offer grace
instead of holding a grudge.
It's release over resentment.
(06:54):
Can I see what we're talkingabout here?
And Jesus gives us an exampleforgive us that the Lord forgave
you.
He didn't wait for us toapologize, and he didn't use our
wrongs as leverage either.
Notice that he paid the priceand he extended the mercy, and
that's a model that he gave usand that's our call as men.
(07:17):
So I'm telling you, if yourmarriage is in a tough season or
if you're feeling stuck, startwith forgiveness.
Show it to her, because you'llbe amazed how much healing and
peace can flow just from onelittle decision to forgive as
you have been forgiven.
So the question to really thinkabout is how do you typically
(07:42):
respond when conflict arises inyour marriage?
I don't know if this verse hashelped you or not, but it says
bear with each other and forgiveone another.
If any of you has a grievanceagainst someone, forgive as the
Lord forgave you.
That's a good reminder for usguys.
(08:02):
The heart of that forgiveness,guys, really comes down to
submission.
It's submitting to somethinggreater than us.
That starts with submitting ourlife to the Lordship of Jesus
Christ.
If you haven't done that, ifyou haven't asked him to be your
Lord and Savior and confessedeverything to him, then today's
(08:27):
your day, because this world welive in at the beginning it was
a perfect design and God lovesyou so doggone much.
And the reason you feel thistension now is because of the
result of the fall, because sinentered the world and we have
(08:47):
this great divide between us andGod.
Because he is holy, he is setapart.
And we have this great dividebetween us and God because he is
holy, he is set apart and weare not, and there's nothing we
can do to overcome that.
So, in essence, we need someoneto do for us what we can't do
for ourselves.
And that's where Jesus comesinto the picture, because he
(09:11):
left His throne in heaven foryou and for me, for the whole
world, to redeem us, to pay thepenalty for our sins.
He went to that cross.
He did just that and ultimately, the fundamental difference
between Jesus and all theseother religions that are out
(09:33):
there is that Jesus overcamedeath, because without the
resurrection there's no hope.
So he defeated death.
So if death can no longer havea hold, from a fear standpoint,
on us, what can the evil one doto us so we recognize that he
(10:00):
overcame death?
He is at the right hand of theFather right now.
He is the way, the truth andthe life, and it starts by
confessing him as Lord andSavior.
If you've never done that, Iwould just invite you to do that
right now.
Invite him into your life,particularly if you're listening
to this week and your marriageis really on the rocks.
(10:24):
What could be missing from yourmarriage?
Quite frankly, if you're not abeliever and she's not a
believer Christ.
You may get lucky and yourmarriage survives without Christ
at the center.
But, trust me, it's just goingto be that luck.
But if you want bless andabundance and joy and gentleness
(10:50):
, that comes when you put Christat the center of your marriage.
You pursue Him, she pursues Him.
Together you run your race.
So if you haven't confessedChrist as your Lord and Savior,
let's just do it right now.
Let's take care of that boxtoday.
So, father, just thank you fortoday.
I'm praying for that one manwho's listening, who just
(11:12):
recognizes that their marriageis in shambles and it really
starts because they've neversubmitted to you and in this
moment they recognize that, lord, they need you more than
anything in this world.
I pray that you just comfortthem, put some people in their
(11:33):
path.
That's going to encourage them.
I'm just thankful for this mostimportant decision that they're
making to submit to you and tofollow you.
It's in your name we pray.
Amen, all right.
So if you just submitted yourlife to Christ, look, I want to
hear from you because I got someresources I want to hook you up
with.
So send me an email.
It's the easiest way.
Chris at the line with N dot US Okay, shoot me an email, send
(11:56):
you a bunch of free resources.
Also want to find out whereyou're located, because we'll
make sure that you get pluggedinto a local church and at least
help you start the process ofwhat to look for.
You know green flags, red flags, all that fun.
You know fun stuff and wouldlove just to hop on a call and
just have a conversation to hearhow you got to this moment.
(12:16):
So, shoot me an email.
Love to connect.
Yeah, let's come back onWednesday.
We're looking forward tounpacking this whole marriage
idea of fighting for ourmarriage and building strong
marriages.
Again, the evil one isabsolutely doing all he can to
destroy marriages these days.
We're going to push back.
We're going to stand firmbecause we know that's what
God's called us to do.
(12:36):
So look forward to seeing youguys next time.
Come hang out with us, give usa rating and review that helps.
Thelionwithinus is where youfind all our resources guys.
You'll get our Bible plans thatwe have on the Bible app.
You can start your dailyspiritual kickoff.
You can join our community.
It's a super fun way to getconnected with some Christian
guys.
Or, if you're ready, if you'rethat guy and you're ready to
(12:57):
really level up and see if youhave what it takes to be the
leader that God intends you tobe.
Our leadership masterminds iswhere it's at fellows, and that
those groups are rocking.
Those groups are rolling.
So if you're interested in asmall group of band of brothers
to walk with you on thisdiscipleship journey, the
Leadership Masterminds, go checkit out, all found at
thelionwithinus.
Have a great day, guys.
(13:18):
Get after it.
Thank you so much for listening.
Keep unleashing the Lion Within.
I've got something big to share.
We're making a major shiftbecause we know the battle is
real and it's time more men hadaccess to the support they need.
For too long, guys have beentrying to carry the weight alone
pressure at work, tension athome, wounds from the past, in a
(13:40):
world that demands strength butoffers no place to rest.
We see it, we've lived it andthat's exactly why we built our
community.
It's a stronghold, a placewhere warriors can find rest,
truth and a band of brothersstanding beside them.
And starting now, we're makingit easier than ever to step in.
We've lowered the barrier tojust $15.99 a month.
(14:02):
That means, for less than thecost of a drive-thru lunch, you
can join a brotherhood that'scentered on Christ and built for
growth.
Inside you'll find access toour daily spiritual kickoffs
every Monday through Friday, ourLion Lunches, our Bible Studies
, our Friday Forge Gatheringsall that and so much more.
Every man needs a stronghold,and you don't have to fight
alone.
If you've been waiting for theright time to jump in, this is
(14:25):
it.
Go to thelionwithinus and jointhe community and see for
yourself what happens when irontruly sharpens iron.
Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast serving
Christian men who are hungry tobe the leaders God intends you
to be.
I'm your host, chris Granger.
Let's jump in.
All right, guys, it's spiritualkickoff time.
Let's get into it, okay?
So this week we are in the bookof Colossians, the third
chapter, the 13th verse.
Okay, it says bear with eachother and forgive one another.
(00:24):
If any of you has a grievanceagainst someone, forgive, as the
Lord gave you Love.
That verse, fellas.
Now let's see how we cansimplify and apply it to our
life.
And again, spiritual kickoff.
Fellas.
We love these episodes and wedo this Monday through Friday in
our Lion Within Us community,and we do it completely for free
(00:45):
.
We don't put the contentanywhere else.
It's an opportunity for you toget a little daily dose of
encouragement.
You can even join us live onthe live feed, and if you can't
make the live feed, the videosare there.
Head over to the LionWithinus.
Get started today with yourfree, daily spiritual kickoff.
Okay, so we need to understandwhat scripture.
(01:05):
First of all, we need to knowwhere it is.
I know it's simple, but wedon't want to just fly by stuff,
so we need to understand whereis the book of Colossians.
So that is your new Testament,okay, and it's you're going to
find it after Philippians.
Now, if you get the firstThessalonians, get to 1
Thessalonians.
Stop, just back up a little bit.
It's right before that.
(01:26):
This week we're going to bediving into one of the devos
that I wrote, or the Biblestudies that I wrote for the
Bible app.
I'm just a guy fighting for mymarriage.
It's done relatively well.
The message is out there.
Guys seem to be enjoying it.
I'm encouraged by the feedbackFor this particular spiritual
kickoff episode.
(01:47):
This verse matters because itgives us a direct insight into
conflict resolution.
Okay, and uh, I'm just going toshare some brutal, honest type
of reflections here today.
And and so my wife and I youknow, we, we don't fight, ok, we
have discussions.
That's what we call discussions, like we do.
(02:08):
That's just at least, that'swhat she calls it.
And it kind of threw me off thefirst time, and for the longest
time, though, to be fair man, Ireally thought that a healthy
marriage had no conflict, had noconflict, and whenever we would
have these arguments ordiscussions, they were flags or
(02:29):
signs, and I thought they meantthat we were broken or we were
on a fast track to just be onanother divorce.
And when we had our first kindof major disagreement I really
panicked and the fear that I haddidn't come out from nowhere.
I mean when I, when I grew up,I didn't see my parents argue a
(02:53):
lot.
They just didn't.
And I know they had conflictthey must have but they handled
it behind closed doors and thatreally gave me a perception that
healthy families just don'targue.
And I carried that into myadulthood.
And then on top of that, a pileon top of that, I walked through
(03:15):
a failed marriage.
You know the pain that goesthere.
And from that failure I wasreally determined to avoid
conflict wherever I could.
And I recognize now that thatwas a mistake.
And maybe you're in that placeright now and you're convinced
that conflict is a sign offailure.
(03:36):
But I'm recognizing this to betrue, guys, is that the
strongest marriage, the mostGod-centered marriage?
You're going to havedisagreements, you just are.
And that's not a failure in ourmarriage.
That's just the result of thehuman nature that we live in
humanity.
And conflict is not the enemy.
(03:57):
It's how we handle the conflictthat determines the strength of
our relationship.
And when I think about marriage,it's really an ongoing
discussion between two peopleand let's just be frank about
this.
At times those two people aregoing to disagree.
That could be things you knowwhere you send your kids to
(04:20):
school or where we're going tospend Thanksgiving this year.
But whatever that is, there'sgoing to be tension and it's
inevitable.
But it's not something thatshould be fearful of, because
these, in fact, areopportunities to grow and to
strengthen your marriage.
And I've learned a couple ofthings as I've tried to approach
(04:40):
conflict.
I'm still learning, guys, butthe first thing is that I have
to learn how to have thesedifficult conversations in a
solution-oriented way.
So that's a big difference thanjust trying to have a fight for
a fight.
Then number two got to learnhow to ask for forgiveness and
then extend it freely when it'sneeded.
(05:04):
And as Christian men, we have tothink about Do we or do we
demonstrate rather forgivenessin our marriage?
Like our goal should be thechief forgiving officer in our
marriage.
Let's just be real about this.
So is that the chief?
Do we want to be thatforgiveness guy or do you want
(05:24):
to be the avoidance guy?
And if I'm honest, I spent a lotof time avoiding because it's
safer, it's cleaner, it's lessemotional.
But avoidance doesn't reallyresolve anything, does it?
What does avoidance do?
Let's just be real.
It just delays it and then itcan amplify it if we don't, if
(05:45):
we're not careful and I'velearned the hard way that
unresolved tension can createdistance Because lots of times
when I look back over mymarriage and the painful moments
that we've had in it, they'rereally not caused by the
conflict itself, but really bymy failure to confront whatever
(06:10):
it was with humility and grace.
So if I'm choosing the silenttreatment which I do a lot
because I'm just a big punkright Instead of speaking up,
that doesn't serve.
If I just choose to sit andstew instead of forgive, that
doesn't serve.
In those moments I'm allowingmy emotional distance to grow
(06:32):
between me and my wife.
It's not healthy, fellas.
This verse reminds usforgiveness changes everything,
and forgiveness doesn't meanwe're just going to sweep it
under the rug.
No, we're not just going topretend nothing happened, but
it's a bold choice as aChristian man to offer grace
instead of holding a grudge.
It's release over resentment.
(06:54):
Can I see what we're talkingabout here?
And Jesus gives us an exampleforgive us that the Lord forgave
you.
He didn't wait for us toapologize, and he didn't use our
wrongs as leverage either.
Notice that he paid the priceand he extended the mercy, and
that's a model that he gave usand that's our call as men.
(07:17):
So I'm telling you, if yourmarriage is in a tough season or
if you're feeling stuck, startwith forgiveness.
Show it to her, because you'llbe amazed how much healing and
peace can flow just from onelittle decision to forgive as
you have been forgiven.
So the question to really thinkabout is how do you typically
(07:42):
respond when conflict arises inyour marriage?
I don't know if this verse hashelped you or not, but it says
bear with each other and forgiveone another.
If any of you has a grievanceagainst someone, forgive as the
Lord forgave you.
That's a good reminder for usguys.
(08:02):
The heart of that forgiveness,guys, really comes down to
submission.
It's submitting to somethinggreater than us.
That starts with submitting ourlife to the Lordship of Jesus
Christ.
If you haven't done that, ifyou haven't asked him to be your
Lord and Savior and confessedeverything to him, then today's
(08:27):
your day, because this world welive in at the beginning it was
a perfect design and God lovesyou so doggone much.
And the reason you feel thistension now is because of the
result of the fall, because sinentered the world and we have
(08:47):
this great divide between us andGod.
Because he is holy, he is setapart.
And we have this great dividebetween us and God because he is
holy, he is set apart and weare not, and there's nothing we
can do to overcome that.
So, in essence, we need someoneto do for us what we can't do
for ourselves.
And that's where Jesus comesinto the picture, because he
(09:11):
left His throne in heaven foryou and for me, for the whole
world, to redeem us, to pay thepenalty for our sins.
He went to that cross.
He did just that and ultimately, the fundamental difference
between Jesus and all theseother religions that are out
(09:33):
there is that Jesus overcamedeath, because without the
resurrection there's no hope.
So he defeated death.
So if death can no longer havea hold, from a fear standpoint,
on us, what can the evil one doto us so we recognize that he
(10:00):
overcame death?
He is at the right hand of theFather right now.
He is the way, the truth andthe life, and it starts by
confessing him as Lord andSavior.
If you've never done that, Iwould just invite you to do that
right now.
Invite him into your life,particularly if you're listening
to this week and your marriageis really on the rocks.
(10:24):
What could be missing from yourmarriage?
Quite frankly, if you're not abeliever and she's not a
believer Christ.
You may get lucky and yourmarriage survives without Christ
at the center.
But, trust me, it's just goingto be that luck.
But if you want bless andabundance and joy and gentleness
(10:50):
, that comes when you put Christat the center of your marriage.
You pursue Him, she pursues Him.
Together you run your race.
So if you haven't confessedChrist as your Lord and Savior,
let's just do it right now.
Let's take care of that boxtoday.
So, father, just thank you fortoday.
I'm praying for that one manwho's listening, who just
(11:12):
recognizes that their marriageis in shambles and it really
starts because they've neversubmitted to you and in this
moment they recognize that, lord, they need you more than
anything in this world.
I pray that you just comfortthem, put some people in their
(11:33):
path.
That's going to encourage them.
I'm just thankful for this mostimportant decision that they're
making to submit to you and tofollow you.
It's in your name we pray.
Amen, all right.
So if you just submitted yourlife to Christ, look, I want to
hear from you because I got someresources I want to hook you up
with.
So send me an email.
It's the easiest way.
Chris at the line with N dot US Okay, shoot me an email, send
(11:56):
you a bunch of free resources.
Also want to find out whereyou're located, because we'll
make sure that you get pluggedinto a local church and at least
help you start the process ofwhat to look for.
You know green flags, red flags, all that fun.
You know fun stuff and wouldlove just to hop on a call and
just have a conversation to hearhow you got to this moment.
(12:16):
So, shoot me an email.
Love to connect.
Yeah, let's come back onWednesday.
We're looking forward tounpacking this whole marriage
idea of fighting for ourmarriage and building strong
marriages.
Again, the evil one isabsolutely doing all he can to
destroy marriages these days.
We're going to push back.
We're going to stand firmbecause we know that's what
God's called us to do.
(12:36):
So look forward to seeing youguys next time.
Come hang out with us, give usa rating and review that helps.
Thelionwithinus is where youfind all our resources guys.
You'll get our Bible plans thatwe have on the Bible app.
You can start your dailyspiritual kickoff.
You can join our community.
It's a super fun way to getconnected with some Christian
guys.
Or, if you're ready, if you'rethat guy and you're ready to
(12:57):
really level up and see if youhave what it takes to be the
leader that God intends you tobe.
Our leadership masterminds iswhere it's at fellows, and that
those groups are rocking.
Those groups are rolling.
So if you're interested in asmall group of band of brothers
to walk with you on thisdiscipleship journey, the
Leadership Masterminds, go checkit out, all found at
thelionwithinus.
Have a great day, guys.
(13:18):
Get after it.
Thank you so much for listening.
Keep unleashing the Lion Within.
I've got something big to share.
We're making a major shiftbecause we know the battle is
real and it's time more men hadaccess to the support they need.
For too long, guys have beentrying to carry the weight alone
pressure at work, tension athome, wounds from the past, in a
(13:40):
world that demands strength butoffers no place to rest.
We see it, we've lived it andthat's exactly why we built our
community.
It's a stronghold, a placewhere warriors can find rest,
truth and a band of brothersstanding beside them.
And starting now, we're makingit easier than ever to step in.
We've lowered the barrier tojust $15.99 a month.
(14:02):
That means, for less than thecost of a drive-thru lunch, you
can join a brotherhood that'scentered on Christ and built for
growth.
Inside you'll find access toour daily spiritual kickoffs
every Monday through Friday, ourLion Lunches, our Bible Studies
, our Friday Forge Gatheringsall that and so much more.
Every man needs a stronghold,and you don't have to fight
alone.
If you've been waiting for theright time to jump in, this is
(14:25):
it.
Go to thelionwithinus and jointhe community and see for
yourself what happens when irontruly sharpens iron.
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