The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week.The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!
The Drink:
The Fitzgerald: https://www.foodandwine.com/fitzgerald-cocktail-recipe-8692781
The Stories:
TSA urges people to stop trying to use a Costco card as a sufficient REAL ID:
https://www.wsfa.com/2025/06/06/tsa-urges-people-stop-trying-use-costco-card-sufficient-real-id/#jws1au56yepvkb57za6d23t2eoolh67
We're married?
https://www.klfy.com/national/texas-woman-arrested-wedding-scam/
We list off some of the worst songs ever. Later, Bryan does one of his impressions!
The Drink: The Piña Colada
But it all in a blender and enjoy!
DJ Can Collector:
https://www.oddee.com/australian-man-buys-a-house-by-recycling-half-a-mi...
This episode is packed with song and dance and Jell-O shots. We have animal stories, and Bryan talks about his disdain for pickles.
The Drink: The Long Island Iced Tea
The Stories:
It's a good thing our mics stifle laughter. Hopefully it's contagious and you laugh with us. Bryan gets really drunk due to a risky cocktails substitution.
The Drink:
https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/a62599833/cherry-lime-margarita-recipe/
Parking Garage Fiasco:
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-pedestrian-run-over-st-james-1.7491149
The (Florida) Man With Three Wi...
This week is LULDian to the max: Arson, Tigers, Sex Toys, Boobs and Cats.
The Drink: The Negroni
https://www.liquor.com/recipes/negroni/
World's First Sperm Race:
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/04/17/Sperm-Racing-Los-Angeles-Hollywood-Palladium/1181744921463/
Incels and Migrant Wives:
https://www.politicalflare.com/2025/04/california-gubernatorial-candidate-threatens-immigrants-with-deportat...
Our best episode since the break!
The Drink: The White Russian
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/222900/white-russian-cocktail/
Police Chief Bob Farley has a lot of explaining to do:
https://patch.com/new-jersey/hoboken/police-chief-defecated-office-put-viagra-coffee-nj-cops-claim
Boeing Bannis latch issues:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/ntsb-warns-of-boeing-evacuation-sl...
This one has everything, Vape-agotchis, WTF Texas?, And Dough Ball Clusches.
The Drink: The Gin and Tonic
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/49355/gin-and-tonic/
Vape or your Tamagotchi will die:
https://screenshot-media.com/culture/internet-culture/new-york-vaping-invention-tamagotchi/
Public lagoon sex:
https://nypost.com/2025/03/26/lifestyle/couple-caught-having-sex-at-family-swimming...
Virginia Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those':
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/03/14/Virginia-Zoo-escaped-gorilla-hoax/9441741983178/
A Diamond in the Rough:
https://thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/gilder-follow-285937
Dogs can shoot guns:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/memphis-man-says-was-shot-dog-lying-bed-rcna196189
Th...
#DroppingThingsOnYourFoot
https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/national/24956420.tiktokers-dropping-heavy-objects-feet-viral-trend-risk-lifetime-pain/
Valentine's Day "in Paris" . . . oh wait . . . murder?
https://people.com/man-allegedly-killed-wife-reaction-valentines-day-plans-police-11683783
Soon Bang tells you "soon bang":
https://nj1015.com/woman-named-soon-b...
The end is nigh, according to AI:
https://www.ladbible.com/news/world-news/scientists-computer-modelling-technology-ai-society-collapse-920494-20250207
"Bet you I can dodge a bullet mother fucker.":
https://www.abc4.com/news/wasatch-front/arrest-dodge-bullets/
The Lake of Death (and the Lesser Flamingo):
https://www.ladbible.com/community/weird/deadliest-lake-natron-secret-turns...
Cholesterol is a bitch:
https://www.fox13news.com/news/man-eating-6-9-pounds-butter-cheese-day-develops-cholesterol-hands-while-carnivore-diet-jama
McAffee comes back from the dead:
https://mashable.com/article/john-mcafee-aintivirus-memecoin
The F1 Dream Trip; Wife says FU:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/im-taking-dream-trip-female-34524795
Liar, liar, pants on fire:
https...
The drink:
The Gimlet: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/gimlet/
Bears and Rolls Royces and Mercedeses, oh my!
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/nov/14/california-bear-costume-car-insurance-fraud
Florida man has secret underground lair:
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article298231938.html
Monkeys escape (our theory is they used the "3 monkeys in a trenchcoat" metho...
Perhaps there really was an Israeli Mossad Commander whose name translates to "Made A Fart" and he got into military operations because high school was so terribly, terribly hard for him.
https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/article-709031
Axes! Coming to a bar near you!
https://www.kiro7.com/news/local/state-votes-allow-axe-throwing-businesses-with-liquor-licenses/YKWBQXOD7FG3RLH2YXHFZUNW6Q/
Be...
In this week's episode, learn about one practically perfect safety product for infants and toddlers, flawless with the exception of one small design flaw:
https://www.pennlive.com/life/2022/05/federal-safety-agency-issues-warning-about-babyrescue-rapid-evacuation-devices.html#:~:text=Published%3A%20May.,the%20child%20inside%20the%20bag.%E2%80%9D
Already working on the cover art for Mutant Rage H...
Cats are being locked down in a town in Germany because they like to eat endangered birds. At last, we have located the species responsible for environmental problems. Good thing we know where the fault lies!
https://boingboing.net/2022/05/23/cats-put-on-lockdown-in-germany.html
Child abductors beware, you may be exposed to salty language during the commission of your crimes.
https://nypost.com/2022...
In case you didn't know, killing people can be bad for you. The process of body disposal can be quite exerting, so be sure to check with your doctor and ensure you're healthy enough to bury someone before you murder. In other news, you'll be able to rest easy knowing your Parmesan cheese is legit. No more sleepless nights! And listen as we enjoy the freedom of being able to say the c word multiple times...
First we talk about two Real Estate Agents who have some sexy times during an alleged Open House. Then we move on to a woman who drove down stairs because her GPS told her to. Florida does not like Farts or Butt stuff on the Vanity plates. We talk about Miska the cat who was a victim of government over-reach. Canada is the first to prosecute crimes . . . on the moon.
Our Linktree: https://linktr.ee/liquoreduplowdown
We're drinking Martini's again, which succeeded in making Tom REALLY drunk. We first talk about a man who drinks his own pee. We then talk about the world's most terrifying teacher. An Art Collector buys a very expensive receipt from invisible art shows from the 50's. We did not know that "Fictosexuals" are really a thing. We close out the show with TWID: "Fractal Wood Burning" ...
We first talk about Pit Toilets and how your phone will just be replaced . . . they just give you a new one, right? A Romance Novelist who wrote an essay on how to kill your husband is going on trial for (allegedly) killing her husband. Bryan tells a story about Customer Service at Blockbuster while he was in college. We then talk about an Anus that is not very smart about fake names. This Week in Duh is about dumb A...
First, we delve into the cottage industry of being a jerk at Funerals by speaking for the dead and telling the living things they may not know about the deceased. Next we tally up items from the most recent cleanup of Jersey Beaches and count up items from what could be the world's biggest party. Take cover because John Hinckley Jr. is on tour! Let's all go to Cementland and it's creepy aftermath. We ta...
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
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