The Liquored Up Low Down: A Bizarre News Podcast
The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week.The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!
Episodes
The Drink:
Beer from your local Brewery.
The Tea App in Two Parts:
Part 1: https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/women-are-anonymously-spilling-tea-men-cities-viral-app-rcna220681
Part 2: https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/tea-app-hacked-13000-photos-leaked-4chan-call-action-rcna221139
I'm Suing . . . Coldplay:
https://www.ndtv.com/entertainment/ex-astronomer-ceo-andy-byron-to-sue-coldplay-for-em...
In this episode, Tom goes on an epic rant that made editing harder for Bryan, but the final product is, we hope, quite funny.
The B and B (Brandy or Bourbon and Benedictine):
https://www.thespruceeats.com/brandy-and-benedictine-recipe-759285
The Stories:
No more Red Pandas as Wake Up Calls:
https://www.nbcnews.com/world/china/china-red-panda-wake-call-service-hotel-viral-video-red-note-rcna215162
The Drink:
The Fitzgerald: https://www.foodandwine.com/fitzgerald-cocktail-recipe-8692781
The Stories:
TSA urges people to stop trying to use a Costco card as a sufficient REAL ID:
https://www.wsfa.com/2025/06/06/tsa-urges-people-stop-trying-use-costco-card-sufficient-real-id/#jws1au56yepvkb57za6d23t2eoolh67
We're married?
https://www.klfy.com/national/texas-woman-arrested-wedding-scam/
We list off some of the worst songs ever. Later, Bryan does one of his impressions!
The Drink: The Piña Colada
- 1/2 medium lime
- 1/2 cups frozen pineapple chunks (about 2 1/2 ounces)
- 3 ounces well-stirred coconut cream (not cream of coconut)
- 2 ounces white rum
- 2 ounces simple syrup
But it all in a blender and enjoy!
DJ Can Collector:
https://www.oddee.com/australian-man-buys-a-house-by-recycling-half-a-mi...
This episode is packed with song and dance and Jell-O shots. We have animal stories, and Bryan talks about his disdain for pickles.
The Drink: The Long Island Iced Tea
- ½ fluid ounce vodka
- ½ fluid ounce rum
- ½ fluid ounce gin
- ½ fluid ounce tequila
- ½ fluid ounce triple sec (orange-flavored liqueur)
- 1 fluid ounce sweet and sour mix
- 1 fluid ounce cola, or to taste
- 1 lemon slice
The Stories:
It's a good thing our mics stifle laughter. Hopefully it's contagious and you laugh with us. Bryan gets really drunk due to a risky cocktails substitution.
The Drink:
https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/a62599833/cherry-lime-margarita-recipe/
Parking Garage Fiasco:
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-pedestrian-run-over-st-james-1.7491149
The (Florida) Man With Three Wi...
This week is LULDian to the max: Arson, Tigers, Sex Toys, Boobs and Cats.
The Drink: The Negroni
https://www.liquor.com/recipes/negroni/
World's First Sperm Race:
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/04/17/Sperm-Racing-Los-Angeles-Hollywood-Palladium/1181744921463/
Incels and Migrant Wives:
https://www.politicalflare.com/2025/04/california-gubernatorial-candidate-threatens-immigrants-with-deportat...
Our best episode since the break!
The Drink: The White Russian
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/222900/white-russian-cocktail/
Police Chief Bob Farley has a lot of explaining to do:
https://patch.com/new-jersey/hoboken/police-chief-defecated-office-put-viagra-coffee-nj-cops-claim
Boeing Bannis latch issues:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/ntsb-warns-of-boeing-evacuation-sl...
This one has everything, Vape-agotchis, WTF Texas?, And Dough Ball Clusches.
The Drink: The Gin and Tonic
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/49355/gin-and-tonic/
Vape or your Tamagotchi will die:
https://screenshot-media.com/culture/internet-culture/new-york-vaping-invention-tamagotchi/
Public lagoon sex:
https://nypost.com/2025/03/26/lifestyle/couple-caught-having-sex-at-family-swimming...
Virginia Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those':
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/03/14/Virginia-Zoo-escaped-gorilla-hoax/9441741983178/
A Diamond in the Rough:
https://thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/gilder-follow-285937
Dogs can shoot guns:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/memphis-man-says-was-shot-dog-lying-bed-rcna196189
Th...
#DroppingThingsOnYourFoot
https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/national/24956420.tiktokers-dropping-heavy-objects-feet-viral-trend-risk-lifetime-pain/
Valentine's Day "in Paris" . . . oh wait . . . murder?
https://people.com/man-allegedly-killed-wife-reaction-valentines-day-plans-police-11683783
Soon Bang tells you "soon bang":
https://nj1015.com/woman-named-soon-b...
The end is nigh, according to AI:
https://www.ladbible.com/news/world-news/scientists-computer-modelling-technology-ai-society-collapse-920494-20250207
"Bet you I can dodge a bullet mother fucker.":
https://www.abc4.com/news/wasatch-front/arrest-dodge-bullets/
The Lake of Death (and the Lesser Flamingo):
https://www.ladbible.com/community/weird/deadliest-lake-natron-secret-turns...
Cholesterol is a bitch:
https://www.fox13news.com/news/man-eating-6-9-pounds-butter-cheese-day-develops-cholesterol-hands-while-carnivore-diet-jama
McAffee comes back from the dead:
https://mashable.com/article/john-mcafee-aintivirus-memecoin
The F1 Dream Trip; Wife says FU:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/im-taking-dream-trip-female-34524795
Liar, liar, pants on fire:
https...
The drink:
The Gimlet: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/gimlet/
Bears and Rolls Royces and Mercedeses, oh my!
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/nov/14/california-bear-costume-car-insurance-fraud
Florida man has secret underground lair:
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article298231938.html
Monkeys escape (our theory is they used the "3 monkeys in a trenchcoat" metho...
Perhaps there really was an Israeli Mossad Commander whose name translates to "Made A Fart" and he got into military operations because high school was so terribly, terribly hard for him.
https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/article-709031
Axes! Coming to a bar near you!
https://www.kiro7.com/news/local/state-votes-allow-axe-throwing-businesses-with-liquor-licenses/YKWBQXOD7FG3RLH2YXHFZUNW6Q/
Be...
In this week's episode, learn about one practically perfect safety product for infants and toddlers, flawless with the exception of one small design flaw:
https://www.pennlive.com/life/2022/05/federal-safety-agency-issues-warning-about-babyrescue-rapid-evacuation-devices.html#:~:text=Published%3A%20May.,the%20child%20inside%20the%20bag.%E2%80%9D
Already working on the cover art for Mutant Rage H...
Cats are being locked down in a town in Germany because they like to eat endangered birds. At last, we have located the species responsible for environmental problems. Good thing we know where the fault lies!
https://boingboing.net/2022/05/23/cats-put-on-lockdown-in-germany.html
Child abductors beware, you may be exposed to salty language during the commission of your crimes.
https://nypost.com/2022...
In case you didn't know, killing people can be bad for you. The process of body disposal can be quite exerting, so be sure to check with your doctor and ensure you're healthy enough to bury someone before you murder. In other news, you'll be able to rest easy knowing your Parmesan cheese is legit. No more sleepless nights! And listen as we enjoy the freedom of being able to say the c word multiple times...
First we talk about two Real Estate Agents who have some sexy times during an alleged Open House. Then we move on to a woman who drove down stairs because her GPS told her to. Florida does not like Farts or Butt stuff on the Vanity plates. We talk about Miska the cat who was a victim of government over-reach. Canada is the first to prosecute crimes . . . on the moon.
Our Linktree: https://linktr.ee/liquoreduplowdown
We're drinking Martini's again, which succeeded in making Tom REALLY drunk. We first talk about a man who drinks his own pee. We then talk about the world's most terrifying teacher. An Art Collector buys a very expensive receipt from invisible art shows from the 50's. We did not know that "Fictosexuals" are really a thing. We close out the show with TWID: "Fractal Wood Burning" ...
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