The Liquored Up Low Down: A Bizarre News Podcast
The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week.The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!
Episodes
This week is LULDian to the max: Arson, Tigers, Sex Toys, Boobs and Cats.
The Drink: The Negroni
https://www.liquor.com/recipes/negroni/
World's First Sperm Race:
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/04/17/Sperm-Racing-Los-Angeles-Hollywood-Palladium/1181744921463/
Incels and Migrant Wives:
https://www.politicalflare.com/2025/04/california-gubernatorial-candidate-threatens-immigrants-with-deportat...
Our best episode since the break!
The Drink: The White Russian
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/222900/white-russian-cocktail/
Police Chief Bob Farley has a lot of explaining to do:
https://patch.com/new-jersey/hoboken/police-chief-defecated-office-put-viagra-coffee-nj-cops-claim
Boeing Bannis latch issues:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/ntsb-warns-of-boeing-evacuation-sl...
This one has everything, Vape-agotchis, WTF Texas?, And Dough Ball Clusches.
The Drink: The Gin and Tonic
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/49355/gin-and-tonic/
Vape or your Tamagotchi will die:
https://screenshot-media.com/culture/internet-culture/new-york-vaping-invention-tamagotchi/
Public lagoon sex:
https://nypost.com/2025/03/26/lifestyle/couple-caught-having-sex-at-family-swimming...
Virginia Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those':
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/03/14/Virginia-Zoo-escaped-gorilla-hoax/9441741983178/
A Diamond in the Rough:
https://thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/gilder-follow-285937
Dogs can shoot guns:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/memphis-man-says-was-shot-dog-lying-bed-rcna196189
Th...
#DroppingThingsOnYourFoot
https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/national/24956420.tiktokers-dropping-heavy-objects-feet-viral-trend-risk-lifetime-pain/
Valentine's Day "in Paris" . . . oh wait . . . murder?
https://people.com/man-allegedly-killed-wife-reaction-valentines-day-plans-police-11683783
Soon Bang tells you "soon bang":
https://nj1015.com/woman-named-soon-b...
The end is nigh, according to AI:
https://www.ladbible.com/news/world-news/scientists-computer-modelling-technology-ai-society-collapse-920494-20250207
"Bet you I can dodge a bullet mother fucker.":
https://www.abc4.com/news/wasatch-front/arrest-dodge-bullets/
The Lake of Death (and the Lesser Flamingo):
https://www.ladbible.com/community/weird/deadliest-lake-natron-secret-turns...
Cholesterol is a bitch:
https://www.fox13news.com/news/man-eating-6-9-pounds-butter-cheese-day-develops-cholesterol-hands-while-carnivore-diet-jama
McAffee comes back from the dead:
https://mashable.com/article/john-mcafee-aintivirus-memecoin
The F1 Dream Trip; Wife says FU:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/im-taking-dream-trip-female-34524795
Liar, liar, pants on fire:
https...
The drink:
The Gimlet: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/gimlet/
Bears and Rolls Royces and Mercedeses, oh my!
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/nov/14/california-bear-costume-car-insurance-fraud
Florida man has secret underground lair:
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article298231938.html
Monkeys escape (our theory is they used the "3 monkeys in a trenchcoat" metho...
Perhaps there really was an Israeli Mossad Commander whose name translates to "Made A Fart" and he got into military operations because high school was so terribly, terribly hard for him.
https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/article-709031
Axes! Coming to a bar near you!
https://www.kiro7.com/news/local/state-votes-allow-axe-throwing-businesses-with-liquor-licenses/YKWBQXOD7FG3RLH2YXHFZUNW6Q/
Be...
In this week's episode, learn about one practically perfect safety product for infants and toddlers, flawless with the exception of one small design flaw:
https://www.pennlive.com/life/2022/05/federal-safety-agency-issues-warning-about-babyrescue-rapid-evacuation-devices.html#:~:text=Published%3A%20May.,the%20child%20inside%20the%20bag.%E2%80%9D
Already working on the cover art for Mutant Rage H...
Cats are being locked down in a town in Germany because they like to eat endangered birds. At last, we have located the species responsible for environmental problems. Good thing we know where the fault lies!
https://boingboing.net/2022/05/23/cats-put-on-lockdown-in-germany.html
Child abductors beware, you may be exposed to salty language during the commission of your crimes.
https://nypost.com/2022...
In case you didn't know, killing people can be bad for you. The process of body disposal can be quite exerting, so be sure to check with your doctor and ensure you're healthy enough to bury someone before you murder. In other news, you'll be able to rest easy knowing your Parmesan cheese is legit. No more sleepless nights! And listen as we enjoy the freedom of being able to say the c word multiple times...
First we talk about two Real Estate Agents who have some sexy times during an alleged Open House. Then we move on to a woman who drove down stairs because her GPS told her to. Florida does not like Farts or Butt stuff on the Vanity plates. We talk about Miska the cat who was a victim of government over-reach. Canada is the first to prosecute crimes . . . on the moon.
Our Linktree: https://linktr.ee/liquoreduplowdown
We're drinking Martini's again, which succeeded in making Tom REALLY drunk. We first talk about a man who drinks his own pee. We then talk about the world's most terrifying teacher. An Art Collector buys a very expensive receipt from invisible art shows from the 50's. We did not know that "Fictosexuals" are really a thing. We close out the show with TWID: "Fractal Wood Burning" ...
We first talk about Pit Toilets and how your phone will just be replaced . . . they just give you a new one, right? A Romance Novelist who wrote an essay on how to kill your husband is going on trial for (allegedly) killing her husband. Bryan tells a story about Customer Service at Blockbuster while he was in college. We then talk about an Anus that is not very smart about fake names. This Week in Duh is about dumb A...
First, we delve into the cottage industry of being a jerk at Funerals by speaking for the dead and telling the living things they may not know about the deceased. Next we tally up items from the most recent cleanup of Jersey Beaches and count up items from what could be the world's biggest party. Take cover because John Hinckley Jr. is on tour! Let's all go to Cementland and it's creepy aftermath. We ta...
We start with a hoarder who does a surprisingly good job of burying his mom and his sister. Did you know that most people would be OK with a sex robot as a third partner? There are racists in Canada, and they are not polite. One woman loses her Appendix because she didn't fart around her boyfriend for 2 years. And we close out with a woman who was body checked into pressing the "right" button to win $10...
Bryan tries to help Tom with his "barking dogs" problem. Did you know that McDonalds locations are part of a 5th Dimensional Plane of existence? Laundering money through Earth, Wind and Fire covers. A racist gets her comeuppance. "Here, you take care of my kids for me while I sleep." A construction worker drops poop from a crane and we ask "why?" for quite some time. Tom saves the day aga...
We start with The Fajita Thief and talk about what's the Gentlemanly thing to do with $1.2M dollars of Fajitas. Bryan's met Super Mario: the man who jumps cruise ship to cruise ship. Ambassador Kid Rock (thankfully) refrains from telling DJT what do do about North Korea. We talk about a Japanese Man who is paid to be a silent companion for people but ponder what a toll this must take on him. Turns out the CE...
Did you know that snakes can go dormant for years and then bite a mother fucker? Tom brings you your food porn with a pretentious Italian Chef. We throw you some red meat: a Florida Man story about meth and dumbness. Hidden Valley Ranch gets into the jewelry business. They can print balls now! Towards the end of the episode we admit we will sell out and we beg for sponsors. Still waiting, Diageo. This week in Duh: If ...
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