The Liquored Up Low Down: A Bizarre News Podcast
The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week.The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!
Episodes
We're not getting any sponsorships from sharks in this episode!
The Drink: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/the-paper-plane/
- 3/4 ounce bourbon
- 3/4 ounce Aperol
- 3/4 ounce Amaro Nonino Quintessentia
- 3/4 ounce lemon juice, freshly squeezed
The Stories:
10 Year Old Drives Himself Home
https://local12.com/news/nation-world/wa-wright-elementary-10-year-old-drives-himself-home-from-elementary-school-mom-makes-stole...
This one went long, but we cut it back to include the best stuff - we hope you enjoy!
The Drink:
The drink: The French Martini
- 2 ounces vodka
- 1/4 ounce Chambord black raspberry liqueur
- 1 3/4 ounces pineapple juice
The Stories:
The Bear-Japanese War:
https://www.denvergazette.com/outtherecolorado/2025/11/06/japan-sends-military-to-assist-with-surge-in-bear-attacks-after-12th-fatality/
The Fedora Man Story:
htt...
Tom is old!
The Drink - The Dixie Dew:
1 2⁄3 oz | Bourbon whiskey
1⁄3 oz | Giffard Menthe Pastille white crème de menthe
1⁄3 oz | Cointreau triple sec liqueur
1⁄2 oz | Chilled water (omit if using wet ice)
The Stories:
Man Stages Funeral:
https://obdaily.com/weird/indian-man-stages-his-own-funeral-just-to-see-who-cares/
You Can Breathe Through Your Butt:
https://scienceblog.cincinnatichildrens.org/...
This one went a bit long because we had two Q and A bits that we couldn't cut and they won't disappoint!
The Drink:
The Oaxaca Old Fashioned: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/oaxacan-old-fashioned/
The Stories:
This Happened Because You Wouldn't Buy My Art:
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cq8ed2g95zlo
Lesson: Don't Confess a Crime to ChatGPT, But You Probably Knew That Already:
https://www....
A very special Birthday episode for Bryan.
The Drink:
The Churchill
The Stories:
Now you are prepared:
https://www.theautopian.com/psa-in-case-of-rapture-keep-your-sunroofs-or-convertible-tops-open/
Edgar C. Whisenant:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_C._Whisenant
Marry Lisa:
https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/marry-lisa-highway-101-billboard/
The Partridge Family:
https://en.wikipedi...
Gen X is awesome!
The Drink - The Gin Fizz:
https://www.liquor.com/recipes/gin-fizz/
The Stories:
The Great Slug Chase:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/sep/08/doorbell-prankster-that-tormented-residents-of-german-apartments-turns-out-to-be-a-slug
Drug Mule Musings:
https://www.kktv.com/2025/09/05/epso-man-admits-having-illegal-drugs-his-car-near-downtown-colorado-springs/
It's Beer Run Ken...
Bryan does a next-level accent in this one!
The Stories:
Not Justin Bieber:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2025/08/19/justin-bieber-impersonator-las-vegas-club/85721536007/
Man Caught in Slide:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/40yearold-man-rescued-getting-stuck-connecticut-playground-slide-rcna226463
Hooters just needs better butter:
https://nypost.com/2025/08...
There's a nice out-take in here you don't want to miss!
Stories:
Tomb of the Unknown Cigarette Lighter:
https://www.rfi.fr/en/france/20250806-man-arrested-after-lighting-cigarette-using-french-war-memorial-flame
Cybertruck Driver Does Not Deny He Has a Small Penis:
https://wtop.com/dc/2025/08/virginia-man-seeks-help-finding-the-woman-who-vandalized-his-tesla-cybertruck/
The Drink:
Beer from your local Brewery.
The Tea App in Two Parts:
Part 1: https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/women-are-anonymously-spilling-tea-men-cities-viral-app-rcna220681
Part 2: https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/tea-app-hacked-13000-photos-leaked-4chan-call-action-rcna221139
I'm Suing . . . Coldplay:
https://www.ndtv.com/entertainment/ex-astronomer-ceo-andy-byron-to-sue-coldplay-for-em...
In this episode, Tom goes on an epic rant that made editing harder for Bryan, but the final product is, we hope, quite funny.
The B and B (Brandy or Bourbon and Benedictine):
https://www.thespruceeats.com/brandy-and-benedictine-recipe-759285
The Stories:
No more Red Pandas as Wake Up Calls:
https://www.nbcnews.com/world/china/china-red-panda-wake-call-service-hotel-viral-video-red-note-rcna215162
The Drink:
The Fitzgerald: https://www.foodandwine.com/fitzgerald-cocktail-recipe-8692781
The Stories:
TSA urges people to stop trying to use a Costco card as a sufficient REAL ID:
https://www.wsfa.com/2025/06/06/tsa-urges-people-stop-trying-use-costco-card-sufficient-real-id/#jws1au56yepvkb57za6d23t2eoolh67
We're married?
https://www.klfy.com/national/texas-woman-arrested-wedding-scam/
We list off some of the worst songs ever. Later, Bryan does one of his impressions!
The Drink: The Piña Colada
- 1/2 medium lime
- 1/2 cups frozen pineapple chunks (about 2 1/2 ounces)
- 3 ounces well-stirred coconut cream (not cream of coconut)
- 2 ounces white rum
- 2 ounces simple syrup
But it all in a blender and enjoy!
DJ Can Collector:
https://www.oddee.com/australian-man-buys-a-house-by-recycling-half-a-mi...
This episode is packed with song and dance and Jell-O shots. We have animal stories, and Bryan talks about his disdain for pickles.
The Drink: The Long Island Iced Tea
- ½ fluid ounce vodka
- ½ fluid ounce rum
- ½ fluid ounce gin
- ½ fluid ounce tequila
- ½ fluid ounce triple sec (orange-flavored liqueur)
- 1 fluid ounce sweet and sour mix
- 1 fluid ounce cola, or to taste
- 1 lemon slice
The Stories:
It's a good thing our mics stifle laughter. Hopefully it's contagious and you laugh with us. Bryan gets really drunk due to a risky cocktails substitution.
The Drink:
https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/a62599833/cherry-lime-margarita-recipe/
Parking Garage Fiasco:
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-pedestrian-run-over-st-james-1.7491149
The (Florida) Man With Three Wi...
This week is LULDian to the max: Arson, Tigers, Sex Toys, Boobs and Cats.
The Drink: The Negroni
https://www.liquor.com/recipes/negroni/
World's First Sperm Race:
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/04/17/Sperm-Racing-Los-Angeles-Hollywood-Palladium/1181744921463/
Incels and Migrant Wives:
https://www.politicalflare.com/2025/04/california-gubernatorial-candidate-threatens-immigrants-with-deportat...
Our best episode since the break!
The Drink: The White Russian
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/222900/white-russian-cocktail/
Police Chief Bob Farley has a lot of explaining to do:
https://patch.com/new-jersey/hoboken/police-chief-defecated-office-put-viagra-coffee-nj-cops-claim
Boeing Bannis latch issues:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/ntsb-warns-of-boeing-evacuation-sl...
This one has everything, Vape-agotchis, WTF Texas?, And Dough Ball Clusches.
The Drink: The Gin and Tonic
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/49355/gin-and-tonic/
Vape or your Tamagotchi will die:
https://screenshot-media.com/culture/internet-culture/new-york-vaping-invention-tamagotchi/
Public lagoon sex:
https://nypost.com/2025/03/26/lifestyle/couple-caught-having-sex-at-family-swimming...
Virginia Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those':
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/03/14/Virginia-Zoo-escaped-gorilla-hoax/9441741983178/
A Diamond in the Rough:
https://thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/gilder-follow-285937
Dogs can shoot guns:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/memphis-man-says-was-shot-dog-lying-bed-rcna196189
Th...
#DroppingThingsOnYourFoot
https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/national/24956420.tiktokers-dropping-heavy-objects-feet-viral-trend-risk-lifetime-pain/
Valentine's Day "in Paris" . . . oh wait . . . murder?
https://people.com/man-allegedly-killed-wife-reaction-valentines-day-plans-police-11683783
Soon Bang tells you "soon bang":
https://nj1015.com/woman-named-soon-b...
The end is nigh, according to AI:
https://www.ladbible.com/news/world-news/scientists-computer-modelling-technology-ai-society-collapse-920494-20250207
"Bet you I can dodge a bullet mother fucker.":
https://www.abc4.com/news/wasatch-front/arrest-dodge-bullets/
The Lake of Death (and the Lesser Flamingo):
https://www.ladbible.com/community/weird/deadliest-lake-natron-secret-turns...
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