the little black fish

"I am the therapist, yet my white clients don't shy away from advising me". When you are in the position of privilege you don't see how it shows up in all your interactions. In this dialogue I had the pleasure to have an insightful dialogue with my dear colleague and mentor Dr. Kenneth Hardy. Dr. Hardy is one of the most original voices in the discourse around racial identity and family therapy. We touch upon th...

Today I am in dialogue with my dear friend and colleague Dr. Emily Nagoski. This episode is different than any other. I honestly didn’t know how to introduce it rather than extend a heartfelt invitation to you all to listen to her and listen well. Emily takes us on a meaningful, inspiring, personal and powerful journey from struggles with moments of darkness to joy and pleasure. Emily is a world-renowned expert in women’s wellbeing...

In this dialogue I am in conversation with my dear colleague Dr. Lori Brotto from Vancuver, Canada to debunk myths around sexual desire. Lori has a unique position as a researcher and a clinician to translate scientific data into practical tools and tips for everyone to benefit from. She is a master expert in the science of KT (Knowledge Transition). She is the Director of the Sexual Health Laboratory at the university of British C...

Today, I am in dialogue with my dear colleague and New Times Best Selling author, professor Pepper Schwartz. Pepper is an inspiration for many who work in the field of sexuality and relationships. As a sociologist at the university of Washington in Seattle, with 25 books, multiple research papers and two Ted Talks to her credit, Pepper brings a rich and holistic perspective into our conversation about what takes to create a thrivin...

In this dialogue, John Doran the author of “A way to wellbeing” joins me from Ireland to discuss education during and post pandemic. John offers an optimistic view by inviting us to embrace adverse events. He says: “what you meet and greet will defeat and what you resist tends to persist”. He talks about the meaning of education and what young people need to thrive in the future that is yet to be created. He invites us to compare o...

In this dialogue, Marlene joins me from Cape Town, South Africa as we discuss Cyber Infidelity and her experience of navigating dilemmas that have occurred in working with the controversial dating site, Ashley Madison. 

Marlene is a clinical sexologist with four published books as well as an accredited Ted Talk speaker. Marlene shares insights from her research, differences she’s identified between in-person and cyber infi...

In this dialogue Sebastian and I have a transparent conversation about making connections through preserving human dignity and seeing people for all that they are and not what they are expected to be portrayed as. 

Sebastian is a world-renowned photographer who focuses on capturing some of the most sensitive, inspiring and heart-wrenching moments in our current history. Sebastian’s photos capture hopes and sorrows all in o...

I am in dialogue with my dear friend and colleague Dr. James Wadley to speak about our relationship with our skin. Skin is what we hold the closest to us and for some of us it becomes the most confusing and conflict-ridden relationship. The most recent racially charged brutalities happened after the recording of this episode however since the systemic oppression towards the people of color and minorities is not a new concept, there...

In this dialogue, Gaymon and I examine the question of how technology is shaping our identities and the way we relate its use to life, ourselves, and others around us. We talk about the importance of ‘space and place’ to make us grounded, and the power of imagination which can help us see what is possible in relation to moving us forward. 

Dr. Bennett is an associate professor of religion, science, and technology at Arizon...

In this dialogue Dr. Blair and I talk about relationships with sleep and discuss how feelings about bedrooms, beds, and bed-partners can impact the quality of sleep. In our society, there is a stigma against couples that sleep in separate beds. The term ‘sleep divorce’ is a socialized term that stigmatizes the practice of sleeping independent of one’s partner. Contrary to popular opinion, most research shows that having a bed-partn...

 In today’s episode, I engage in a dialogue with Rowena Chiu who was one of the critical figures who came forward, and vocalized her experience with Harvey Weinstein’s sex scandal. In this intimate and sensitive conversation, Rowena talks about her private experience of the abuse, the stages of emotions that followed, and how she rechanneled aspects of her experience to become an advocate for those who have endured sexual abuse. As...

In this two-part discussion, Dr. Hansen and I talk about shifts in mental health approaches and offer suggestions to help reframe the subtle yet strategic outcomes. In the beginning portion of our discussion, Dr. Hansen wears her hat as the director of the Stanford’s Well-being Initiative and speaks on her perspective of the ‘pillars of well-being’. She elaborates on her experience by introducing 8 main pillars of wellbeing that fo...

Alcohol has a long known history of serving the way we celebrate, cope, and socialize across many societies. Some individuals have a rather healthy relationship with it, some are struggling to keep the balance, and some are neutral. Alcohol consumption lowers one’s mood and inhibitions, and has three major impacts on one’s personal life; these impacts being physiological, relational, and social. Given the current pandemic, many peo...

Tackling the role and meaning of sex during the lockdown, Doortje and I speak about the meaning and role of sex in times of high anxiety and despair. Working with couples across the world over the past two decades, I’ve noticed that sex is one of the main ways people cope with and manage their stress of various nature. 

Especially in times like these, we are driven to consider basic needs of feeling safe, loved, and achieving agency...

Adina is the founder of Stanford’s Resilience Project. She has worked with highly accomplished and ambitious students for years to help them learn, adapt, and excel. Adina and I engaged in this dialogue to discuss the dilemmas parents and their children face in this time of uncertainty. Some children are back home as colleges and dorms are closed, and others are in lockdowns elsewhere. For the first time, parents and children could...

the little black fish: Moving from contraction to expansion and connection. 

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh is a world-renowned social psychologist and psychotherapist. She has worked in 40 countries to help individuals, couples, leaders and communities from bedroom to the boardrooms. Growing up her nickname was the little black fish for her deep curiosity to look beyond what was obvious and available. As “the little black fish” she...

Julia worked with unimaginable form of loss for the past 25 years (loss of children). She has several pearls of wisdom to share with us in this time of uncertainty when one cannot imagine a tomorrow (literally).

In this dialogue, Julia and I talk openly about the shocked of our current circumstances in the face of Covid-19 pandemic. Living losses that people are experiencing (jobs, finances, personal freedom, mind-space, ...