May 2, 2025 • 9 mins
Mike runs his mouth about almost starting an OnlyFans, getting a bartending job at the last second, and why divine timing might just be God’s way of saying “I got you, bro.”
From getting humbled by a POS system to being reassured by a cheesecake-loving grandma, this one's a short but packed update on new beginnings, faith, and learning drinks by pattern (but not Excel formulas).
If you've ever felt stuck or uncertain, this one’s for you.
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok @thelnbepodcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mike (00:10):
all right.
So I know last week was ashorter episode and I promised a
longer one.
Look, I don't usually breakpromises unless it involves the
gym lent or texting people backunder 48 hours.
With that said, this one mightalso run a little short, but I
will say it's packed.
We've got divine timing, sweetold ladies, tequila-based
(00:32):
revelations and me gettinghumbled by a computer screen.
So let's get into it.
So before I get into it,actually real talk.
I was this close to making anOnlyFans and believe me when I
say this, that is not somethingthat anybody wants to see,
(00:52):
including myself.
Trust me, I look at myself inthe mirror every fucking day.
That is something that Idefinitely have on my short list
to not expose to the world.
But I was out of options.
So when I say that this jobcame just in time, I mean it
came just in time.
(01:12):
So here's the deal.
I almost ran out of money andthen I got a job.
No joke, literally the last dayof my unemployment I get a call
.
You can call it luck, timing orGod just saying you know what.
That's enough characterdevelopment.
I got you, bro, but the waythat it happened was kind of
(01:33):
wild.
So my family and I go out todinner for Easter and, as you
guys all know, I've beenthinking about bartending full
time because it's less corporatenonsense and doing something
that I thought I would actuallyenjoy about bartending full time
because it's less corporatenonsense and doing something
that I thought I would actuallyenjoy.
So we're out at this restaurantand the bar is slammed.
So I just think you know what,why not?
And I asked the host for anapplication.
(01:54):
I fill it out right there, butI didn't hear back for a couple
of days.
So I go back in, I speak withthe manager and they tell me
that they're not hiring.
So I'm like, all right, cool in.
I speak with the manager andthey tell me that they're not
hiring.
So I'm like, all right, cool,thanks for nothing, right.
But then a couple of days laterI get a call from a number that
I'd usually ignore, butsomething told me to pick it up.
So I pick it up, thinking thatit might've been for some
(02:17):
marketing job that I'd beenapplying to or whatever.
But it turns out it was thatrestaurant's sister restaurant.
They got my info and theyactually were looking for a
bartender.
So they say can you come intoday for an interview.
I shoot up there, interview onthe spot, and then I get a call
(02:43):
back the next morning and boom,I'm in.
And man, it's a shift because Icome from dive bar chaos, you
know, slinging two-ingredientdrinks, I'm handwriting tabs.
I'm used to 60 college kidsyelling at me all at once, but
now it's a little quieter,cleaner but like weirdly, it's a
little more intense because I'mlearning new drinks that I've
never made.
(03:03):
I'm also learning the POSsystem and it's funny because
one of the people training mejust goes have you ever used the
POS system before?
I'm like why the hell would Iwant to use a piece of shit
system?
And they're like no paymentoperating system and I'm like
that makes more sense.
So definitely a change of pacefor me there.
(03:25):
But I've also got to learntable layouts, food service and
the whole menu.
And it's not that I'm just new,it's that I also just feel like
I'm totally out of my element.
It's kind of like I went fromsprinting barefoot to being told
to tap dance in dress shoes.
Like I'll give you a perfectexample this couple walks in,
(03:45):
they order from the specials andI didn't realize that those
come with customizable sides.
So the POS system freaks out,and then I go back all awkward
like, hey guys, I actually needyou to pick sides.
But they kind of laugh it offand they ask if I'm new, and of
course I own it.
I'm like, yep, brand spankingnew, but then, as they're giving
(04:05):
me their order, I'm alsofumbling with this system, and
even they're just egging me onjust like oh, don't worry, honey
, you'll figure it out.
I'm just like, oh, geez,almighty.
It was definitely a rough moment, but I figured it out.
I learned what things are inthe system, but that was also
the moment where I just reallythought am I in over my head?
Because right now, I feel likeI suck more than a dude in
(04:29):
prison.
It's just all at once, and I'mtrying to keep up, while also
trying to not totally choke infront of everybody.
Trying to keep up while alsotrying to not totally choke in
front of everybody.
But what I am learning, though,is that, when it comes to drinks
, it's just patterns, because,like I said, I'm used to the
dive bar scene, where it's justa two ingredient cocktail, but,
for example, like a margarita isjust tequila, lime juice,
(04:51):
triple sec, and at therestaurant I just got hired at
they use agave.
But then a Palomaoma, which Igot asked to make for the very
first time a couple days ago, Irealized is tequila, lime juice,
grapefruit and simple syrup.
So it's same roots, kind oflike their cousins.
A margarita is kind of likeboston and a paloma is like new
(05:12):
york.
It's still tequila, but it justthinks that it's a little bit
better than you, probably justbecause of those 27
championships, even though like10 of those were before the
color barrier.
So can we all just relax here.
But what's crazy is I was shownthe Paloma once and nailed it.
(05:32):
But if you ask me to make aspreadsheet formula, I'm more
fucked than a porn star on adouble shift.
So maybe I do have some chopsfor this gig after all.
But then, amid the chaos, therewas this older woman who sat
down at the bar during mytraining and she was just super
sweet and she orders a coffee, awater and a slice of cheesecake
(05:54):
.
That was it.
It.
There was no rush, no drama.
She even complimented myservice and told me I'd do just
fine.
It was such a small moment but,man, it slowed everything down
for me, kind of like God steppedin and was just like I'm going
to give him a second to breathehere.
It kind of reminded me why Iwas drawn to bartending in the
(06:17):
first place.
It's not just for the tips orthe drinks although a tip would
be friggin' nice but it's forthose little moments.
It's for those littleone-on-one human grounding
moments that you don't normallyget behind a desk.
And I know this one ended up alittle shorter than last week
and I'm sorry for that.
But I still wanted to putsomething out for you guys and
(06:38):
let you know what's been goingon.
It means a lot to me thatyou're still listening, even
though the episodes have been alittle bit of more quick updates
instead of full rants.
But right now my schedule hasjust been crazy.
They've just been putting me onlike random days for training
and I don't even know what myschedule is at this moment.
But once I I kind of getsettled, I hope that I can kind
(06:58):
of get more into the flow ofthis.
So again, I'm sorry for theshorter episodes and I'm going
to apologize in advance in caseI miss one, but just kind of
letting you guys know what'sgoing on too.
But also, maybe that's the wholepoint of this episode, because
sometimes life doesn't unfold inperfect timing, but ends up in
divine timing.
Like my job didn't come when Iexpected it.
(07:21):
The answers didn't show up whenI wanted them to, but they came
when I needed them, and I keptshowing up even when I was
frustrated, broken, uncertain,and eventually things aligned.
It was like the last day of myunemployment and God sent me
this gift of here's a job that Iknow you're going to want and I
know you're going to like.
So if you're in that space,waiting, questioning, feeling
(07:46):
stuck, I get it.
Trust me, if you've beenlistening to the past couple
weeks, you'll know that Iunderstand You're not alone, but
you just got to keep moving andkeep showing up.
God's plan doesn't always comewith clarity, but sometimes, at
least in my case, it showed updisguised as a bar shift,
because how many marketing jobsdid I apply to and got nowhere
(08:10):
with it?
But then I applied to a couplebartending jobs and I ended up
getting one.
So maybe that's God's messageto me of, maybe that's the road
that I'm supposed to be goingdown.
I have no idea, but I can onlyimagine where I would be right
now if I didn't apply for thatjob and if I didn't pick up that
(08:31):
phone call.
So sometimes, even when youexpect it to be a spam number,
maybe you should pick it up,because God literally sent me a
gift when I needed it most, andwhat would have happened if I
didn't answer that call?
But for right now my life's alittle hectic.
I'm kind of figuring it out onetequila-based metaphor at a
(08:53):
time.
So, more soon, stay tuned andalso send prayers for my POS
memory.
But I'm sorry again, this is ashorter episode.
If you did like this episode,please share it with a friend.
Like comment, subscribe.
Make sure you check out mysocials on TikTok and Instagram
@thelnbe podcast, and if youguys want to write in, send me
an email to lnbemedia@ gmail.
(09:13):
com.
All right, guys.
Thank you so much for listeningand we will catch up next week.
all right.
So I know last week was ashorter episode and I promised a
longer one.
Look, I don't usually breakpromises unless it involves the
gym lent or texting people backunder 48 hours.
With that said, this one mightalso run a little short, but I
will say it's packed.
We've got divine timing, sweetold ladies, tequila-based
(00:32):
revelations and me gettinghumbled by a computer screen.
So let's get into it.
So before I get into it,actually real talk.
I was this close to making anOnlyFans and believe me when I
say this, that is not somethingthat anybody wants to see,
(00:52):
including myself.
Trust me, I look at myself inthe mirror every fucking day.
That is something that Idefinitely have on my short list
to not expose to the world.
But I was out of options.
So when I say that this jobcame just in time, I mean it
came just in time.
(01:12):
So here's the deal.
I almost ran out of money andthen I got a job.
No joke, literally the last dayof my unemployment I get a call
.
You can call it luck, timing orGod just saying you know what.
That's enough characterdevelopment.
I got you, bro, but the waythat it happened was kind of
(01:33):
wild.
So my family and I go out todinner for Easter and, as you
guys all know, I've beenthinking about bartending full
time because it's less corporatenonsense and doing something
that I thought I would actuallyenjoy about bartending full time
because it's less corporatenonsense and doing something
that I thought I would actuallyenjoy.
So we're out at this restaurantand the bar is slammed.
So I just think you know what,why not?
And I asked the host for anapplication.
(01:54):
I fill it out right there, butI didn't hear back for a couple
of days.
So I go back in, I speak withthe manager and they tell me
that they're not hiring.
So I'm like, all right, cool in.
I speak with the manager andthey tell me that they're not
hiring.
So I'm like, all right, cool,thanks for nothing, right.
But then a couple of days laterI get a call from a number that
I'd usually ignore, butsomething told me to pick it up.
So I pick it up, thinking thatit might've been for some
(02:17):
marketing job that I'd beenapplying to or whatever.
But it turns out it was thatrestaurant's sister restaurant.
They got my info and theyactually were looking for a
bartender.
So they say can you come intoday for an interview.
I shoot up there, interview onthe spot, and then I get a call
(02:43):
back the next morning and boom,I'm in.
And man, it's a shift because Icome from dive bar chaos, you
know, slinging two-ingredientdrinks, I'm handwriting tabs.
I'm used to 60 college kidsyelling at me all at once, but
now it's a little quieter,cleaner but like weirdly, it's a
little more intense because I'mlearning new drinks that I've
never made.
(03:03):
I'm also learning the POSsystem and it's funny because
one of the people training mejust goes have you ever used the
POS system before?
I'm like why the hell would Iwant to use a piece of shit
system?
And they're like no paymentoperating system and I'm like
that makes more sense.
So definitely a change of pacefor me there.
(03:25):
But I've also got to learntable layouts, food service and
the whole menu.
And it's not that I'm just new,it's that I also just feel like
I'm totally out of my element.
It's kind of like I went fromsprinting barefoot to being told
to tap dance in dress shoes.
Like I'll give you a perfectexample this couple walks in,
(03:45):
they order from the specials andI didn't realize that those
come with customizable sides.
So the POS system freaks out,and then I go back all awkward
like, hey guys, I actually needyou to pick sides.
But they kind of laugh it offand they ask if I'm new, and of
course I own it.
I'm like, yep, brand spankingnew, but then, as they're giving
(04:05):
me their order, I'm alsofumbling with this system, and
even they're just egging me onjust like oh, don't worry, honey
, you'll figure it out.
I'm just like, oh, geez,almighty.
It was definitely a rough moment, but I figured it out.
I learned what things are inthe system, but that was also
the moment where I just reallythought am I in over my head?
Because right now, I feel likeI suck more than a dude in
(04:29):
prison.
It's just all at once, and I'mtrying to keep up, while also
trying to not totally choke infront of everybody.
Trying to keep up while alsotrying to not totally choke in
front of everybody.
But what I am learning, though,is that, when it comes to drinks
, it's just patterns, because,like I said, I'm used to the
dive bar scene, where it's justa two ingredient cocktail, but,
for example, like a margarita isjust tequila, lime juice,
(04:51):
triple sec, and at therestaurant I just got hired at
they use agave.
But then a Palomaoma, which Igot asked to make for the very
first time a couple days ago, Irealized is tequila, lime juice,
grapefruit and simple syrup.
So it's same roots, kind oflike their cousins.
A margarita is kind of likeboston and a paloma is like new
(05:12):
york.
It's still tequila, but it justthinks that it's a little bit
better than you, probably justbecause of those 27
championships, even though like10 of those were before the
color barrier.
So can we all just relax here.
But what's crazy is I was shownthe Paloma once and nailed it.
(05:32):
But if you ask me to make aspreadsheet formula, I'm more
fucked than a porn star on adouble shift.
So maybe I do have some chopsfor this gig after all.
But then, amid the chaos, therewas this older woman who sat
down at the bar during mytraining and she was just super
sweet and she orders a coffee, awater and a slice of cheesecake
(05:54):
.
That was it.
It.
There was no rush, no drama.
She even complimented myservice and told me I'd do just
fine.
It was such a small moment but,man, it slowed everything down
for me, kind of like God steppedin and was just like I'm going
to give him a second to breathehere.
It kind of reminded me why Iwas drawn to bartending in the
(06:17):
first place.
It's not just for the tips orthe drinks although a tip would
be friggin' nice but it's forthose little moments.
It's for those littleone-on-one human grounding
moments that you don't normallyget behind a desk.
And I know this one ended up alittle shorter than last week
and I'm sorry for that.
But I still wanted to putsomething out for you guys and
(06:38):
let you know what's been goingon.
It means a lot to me thatyou're still listening, even
though the episodes have been alittle bit of more quick updates
instead of full rants.
But right now my schedule hasjust been crazy.
They've just been putting me onlike random days for training
and I don't even know what myschedule is at this moment.
But once I I kind of getsettled, I hope that I can kind
(06:58):
of get more into the flow ofthis.
So again, I'm sorry for theshorter episodes and I'm going
to apologize in advance in caseI miss one, but just kind of
letting you guys know what'sgoing on too.
But also, maybe that's the wholepoint of this episode, because
sometimes life doesn't unfold inperfect timing, but ends up in
divine timing.
Like my job didn't come when Iexpected it.
(07:21):
The answers didn't show up whenI wanted them to, but they came
when I needed them, and I keptshowing up even when I was
frustrated, broken, uncertain,and eventually things aligned.
It was like the last day of myunemployment and God sent me
this gift of here's a job that Iknow you're going to want and I
know you're going to like.
So if you're in that space,waiting, questioning, feeling
(07:46):
stuck, I get it.
Trust me, if you've beenlistening to the past couple
weeks, you'll know that Iunderstand You're not alone, but
you just got to keep moving andkeep showing up.
God's plan doesn't always comewith clarity, but sometimes, at
least in my case, it showed updisguised as a bar shift,
because how many marketing jobsdid I apply to and got nowhere
(08:10):
with it?
But then I applied to a couplebartending jobs and I ended up
getting one.
So maybe that's God's messageto me of, maybe that's the road
that I'm supposed to be goingdown.
I have no idea, but I can onlyimagine where I would be right
now if I didn't apply for thatjob and if I didn't pick up that
(08:31):
phone call.
So sometimes, even when youexpect it to be a spam number,
maybe you should pick it up,because God literally sent me a
gift when I needed it most, andwhat would have happened if I
didn't answer that call?
But for right now my life's alittle hectic.
I'm kind of figuring it out onetequila-based metaphor at a
(08:53):
time.
So, more soon, stay tuned andalso send prayers for my POS
memory.
But I'm sorry again, this is ashorter episode.
If you did like this episode,please share it with a friend.
Like comment, subscribe.
Make sure you check out mysocials on TikTok and Instagram
@thelnbe podcast, and if youguys want to write in, send me
an email to lnbemedia@ gmail.
(09:13):
com.
All right, guys.
Thank you so much for listeningand we will catch up next week.
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