July 4, 2025 • 14 mins
Mike runs his mouth about restaurant chaos, bartending doubles, and the fine line between being the “fun bartender” and tanking everyone’s tips. He shares a Father’s Day work saga, a vodka Sprite that tasted like jet fuel, and a moment that proved people actually do notice when you make a good drink. Also featuring commentary on bar dynamics, dating while working nights, and why one server might be crying in the walk-in.
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok @thelnbepodcast.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mike (00:10):
Alright, what's up everybody?
I know I'm sorry.
I know it's been a couple ofweeks.
I'm really sorry that I haven'tbeen on this thing in a while.
Don't worry, I'm still here.
I didn't fall off.
I've just been juggling a lot.
I got asked to work a double onFather's Day More on that later
.
I've been trying to deal withrugby practice, kicking my ass.
(00:32):
My job schedule's been a littlecrazy and, yeah, I'm also
seeing someone new now, so I'mjust adjusting to that too.
The whole bartend untilmidnight date somebody with a
normal schedule, life balanceLove that for me.
So, yeah, the whole bartenduntil midnight date somebody
with a normal schedule, lifebalance Love that for me.
So yeah, I've just been busy,but you know what it's been
about a month.
Hey, kevin, thanks for checkingup on me, dude, where you been,
(00:56):
and then shows how much youactually care.
I will never let that go.
Also, I'll be real.
The pod's been on the backburner a bit, not because I've
stopped caring, but becauseeverything else has been on fire
.
I'm trying to do it all Show upfor work, show up for my
relationship, show up for myselfand still somehow show up here
(01:19):
with jokes and stories.
So if you're still listening,thank you.
Now let me do what I do.
So, anyways, I get asked towork brunch on Father's Day
because apparently it wassupposed to be busy.
So they asked me the nightbefore hey, would you mind me
being the good player that I am?
I was like, yeah, sure I can dothat, thinking I'm going to be
out of there in the afternoon.
(01:40):
I'll still be able to hang outwith my dad.
All is well in the world.
Spoiler alert.
It wasn't.
It was just like regular Sundaybrunch, with a slightly higher
chance of getting stiff bysomeone in cargo shorts.
But then, plot twist, it's amale co-worker's birthday.
He's married but not a dad, sono kids, just a regular
(02:06):
grown-ass man out here livingwith a joint bank account in
zero dependence.
And suddenly the otherco-workers are all like, oh my
god, it's his birthday, heshouldn't have to work a double
on his birthday.
And they're all rallying behindthis like it's a make a wish
shift.
Next thing.
I know it's well, you know, ifso-and-so works the floor, mike
(02:30):
is here so he can man the barfor tonight, and that way he
gets to go home and celebratehis birthday.
And I'm standing there like what?
First of all.
I'm just here being a good teamplayer and I came early because
I was asked I wasn't scheduledto do a double.
But second of all, how in thefuck did his birthday become a
(02:51):
group project that now I gottapay for, like it was Father's
Day?
What about the actual dadsscheduled to do a double on
Father's Day?
You don't think that they'drather be home with their kids
to go and celebrate a day thatis dedicated to them, instead of
watching this man dip out earlyso he can go blow out candles?
(03:12):
And look, I got nothing againstthis guy.
He's a really cool dude.
I really like working with him.
He's a great guy.
But birthdays are not a nationalholiday.
We all have one.
You're not that fucking special.
You're 30 years old, not 13.
(03:34):
You don't get to skip out onwork because you age the digit.
Welcome to being an adult.
But whatever I was like youknow what?
Fine, give me that money, I'lltake the shift, fuck it.
And karma worked out in my favorbecause dinner ended up being
way busier than brunch anyway,so I made more, and then I also
(03:55):
got to watch some chaos unfold.
And chaos did unfold becausewhile I'm doing my thing during
brunch, I noticed somethinggoing down behind the bar one of
the bartenders that I'mscheduled with and I'm doing my
thing during brunch.
I notice something going downbehind the bar One of the
bartenders that I'm scheduledwith and I'm not naming names.
I would never do that, but theyjust keep pouring doubles off
the rip.
No request, no modifier, nowarning, just boom, heavy, pour
(04:25):
into a restaurant cocktail, likeshe's trying to win somebody's
custody battle with bourbon, andI wouldn't have said anything.
But I tasted one of the drinksthat she made, Actually two of
them.
I was trying to do a qualitycheck, right, see what the guest
is getting, make sure it's notoff, because she took a step out
for a second.
So I had to jump in and thewaitress was like oh, which is
which?
Because she made a vodka sodaand a vodka Sprite.
(04:46):
So only one way to know is yougot to taste, test it and I
swear to God I couldn't tellwhich was which.
I nearly gagged, not because Ihate vodka, I mean, I've never
loved it but I could stomach it.
But this, this was just jetfuel, like airplane grade level
ethanol served over ice, and Ihad to guess which drink was
(05:09):
which until she came back andconfirmed it.
Somehow I got it right, butonly by sheer luck, because they
both just tasted like regretand battery acid.
And yo just to clarify for thepeople in the back, I'm still
not drinking.
Just to clarify for the peoplein the back, I'm still not
drinking.
I don't consider me drinking,just taste testing.
The drinks that I made becauseI'm not sitting here posted up
(05:32):
with a whiskey on the rocks,like it's 2019.
I'm literally just like dippinga straw into a cocktail just to
kind of coat my tongue, likeit's a scope, just to make sure
that it doesn't taste like hotgarbage.
And I do that kind of I wouldn'tsay all the time, but
especially with things that Idon't know about, like all these
new bottles, liquors,chartreuse Amaro's wines I've
never heard of.
(05:52):
Half of it sounds like a spellfrom Harry Potter and the other
half just tastes like regret.
So, yeah, I lie through myteeth when a manager's like you
all know what the wine tasteslike, right?
And then there's me having nofucking clue, absolutely,
totally.
Never been more sure ofanything in my life, because I'm
(06:13):
not going out of my way toactually like drink a drink,
like I'm just gonna taste testsomething that I have no idea
what it's gonna taste like.
Just so I know that I'm notactually putting out something
terrible out into the void.
But listen, I'm actually notagainst doubles.
If someone asks for a doubleand they're paying for it,
(06:35):
that's fine, that's great.
Absolutely More power to you.
Know, that guy likes a strongdrink, or that lady likes a
strong drink, but pouring themunprompted at a restaurant?
Absolutely not.
This isn't a dive bar.
This isn't a club.
This isn't Kyle's basementparty where everyone's drinking
(06:58):
out of red solo cups that smelllike regret and pickle juice,
and it's definitely not Becky'spregame at her house, where the
goal is to get as drunk aspossible before going out just
to go and save some money.
This is a restaurant wherepeople are trying to enjoy a
(07:20):
cocktail, not get blacked outbefore the waiter comes back and
says oh, what would you likefor your entree?
Although, with how some of youpeople order, it truly amazes me
that some of you don't have afew pops before you go out,
because, my god, I'm just gonnacome out and say it when the
staff messes up on an order,it's not because of us, it's
because of you.
You fucking people don't knowwhat you want or how to order.
(07:42):
It's right there on the menu,just it.
The customer isn't always right.
The staff just has to appeasethe customer, just so you don't
leave us a truly shitty tipbecause of your fuck up.
But that's for another day.
But anyways, this is a placewith steak specials, with
ambience that's family and kidfriendly, where karen will order
(08:05):
a lemon drop and send it backbecause it's too lemony.
Ugh, we cannot be casuallyfree-pouring doubles, like it's
an open bar at a wedding.
You think you're being cool butall you're doing is setting a
time bomb in motion.
You pour someone three ouncesof tequila on drink one and by
(08:28):
drink two they're crying intotheir truffle fries or trying to
slow dance in front of the hoststand.
And let's talk tips, becausethat's the worst part they don't
tip more for stronger drinks.
No one's ever been like wow,that bartender over served me
and I blacked out by 6pm.
Here's 35%.
(08:49):
No, they leave a basic tip andthen you get yelled at because
they stood up too fast and faceplanted into their baby shower
table.
And if you're sitting therethinking well, what makes you
think you know what you'retalking about?
Fair question, but let me giveyou a little story.
So my girlfriend works at acoffee shop Totally separate
(09:11):
vibe.
One day this guy comes in andstarts chatting with her and he
apparently said that he went tothis place last night and the
bartender there made him some ofthe best drinks he's had in a
while.
And she's like, wait, myboyfriend works there, is that
the guy with the tattoos?
And he was like yeah, that'shim.
And she's like, oh, yeah,that's my boyfriend.
Dude was floored the first timeat her shop total small world
(09:33):
moment.
But he literally said he'ddefinitely be coming back to the
restaurant, not because Ipoured him doubles, but because
he said I made his drinks well,that's it Just well made drinks
with balance, taste and actualattention to detail.
So yeah, people notice and youdon't need to pour a double to
get a good tip or leave animpression.
(09:55):
Sometimes just knowing whatyou're doing is enough.
However, now the inventory isalso shot Because you don't
think that management doesn'tnotice when the Tito's bottle
looks like it just got mugged.
We have poor accounts for areason.
If you're giving away doublesevery time someone's getting
(10:17):
written up, and it's usually notthe person who thought Tito's
was short for titties out, andon top of that, it's low-key
stealing from the restaurant.
You're giving away liquor thatisn't yours without charging for
it.
That's not being the funbartender.
That's being the reason costsare off and everyone's getting
(10:40):
side-eyed on their next staffmeeting.
And don't forget liability.
Someone gets too drunk, causesa scene, gets into an accident,
whatever.
Now it's not just a hangover,it's a court case.
Nobody wants to be thebartender who over-served, the
dude who ended up on the localnews doing a jig on a cop car.
(11:02):
But let me give you the realreason as to why this drives me
nuts.
And it's not just the chaos orthe potential chaos that might
unfold, it's the team impact.
When bartenders pool tips withservers, which we do at a lot of
restaurants, giving someone aheavy pour doesn't help anybody,
(11:25):
because if the drink is toostrong, guess what, they won't
order another one.
They'll sip it slow, they'llnurse it and that's pretty much
it.
The table's drink sales aredone and then the servers check
average tanks and suddenly we'reall losing out, because when we
pulled all of our tips together, all of the checks at the end
(11:46):
of the night matter.
So if I can do a better job ofgiving the servers a good drink
where somebody is going to ordera couple of rounds that builds
their bill, which ultimatelygives me a better tip out from
them.
So now you're not justoverpouring, you're
underperforming, you're messingwith the system that keeps
(12:08):
everyone paid.
When it comes to a restaurant,it's both quality and quantity,
but if the drink is too strong,they're going to be a one and
done.
People aren't out here thinkingthat they're going to get
jungle juice every time theyorder a drink.
They're here to have a fewrounds and leave with their
dignity and their Amex statementunder $200.
And especially when you'repumping out drinks for the
(12:32):
waiters and waitresses, we don'tsee who's getting that drink.
It could be a 21-year-old ontheir hopefully, but
realistically not first legaldrink.
Or it could be someone's 80year old grandma trying to treat
herself to a pinot and aflatbread.
Either way, chances are theycan't handle a pour that strong.
(12:55):
And if I'm making drinks for therestaurant floor, I'm also
trying to think about who'sdrinking those drinks, because
if someone is stumbling to theircar after a cocktail I made,
I'm not trying to be the reasonfor it by pouring a double.
You might be thinking thatyou're hooking up the guests,
but you're not.
You're just shortening theirtab and everyone else's paycheck
(13:17):
.
You're not a hero, you're thereason the server's crying in
the walk-in, especially if thatserver's gonna taste test what
you're pouring, because, my god,anyways, if you're still
rocking with me after all that Iappreciate you.
I know this one's a shorterepisode, but it's all I could
muster up this week.
New episodes drop when lifelets me breathe a little bit,
(13:38):
but I promise I'm notdisappearing.
If you've got thoughts, storiesor anything you want to hear me
rant about, next, send it in.
Actually, you know what anyother bartenders out there am.
I totally in the wrong forthinking the way that I'm
thinking, where you don't justautomatically pour a double,
thinking that that person'sgonna like you for pouring them
a double.
(13:58):
Like how many people out thereactually enjoy having a double
just poured for them off the bat?
I don't know many, but alright,anyways, send in your emails to
lnbemedia@ gmail.
com.
Make sure you follow thepodcast @thelnbepodcast on
Instagram and TikTok.
Make sure you comment andsubscribe as well.
That helps me a lot too, and Iwill catch you on the next round
(14:22):
.
Alright, what's up everybody?
I know I'm sorry.
I know it's been a couple ofweeks.
I'm really sorry that I haven'tbeen on this thing in a while.
Don't worry, I'm still here.
I didn't fall off.
I've just been juggling a lot.
I got asked to work a double onFather's Day More on that later
.
I've been trying to deal withrugby practice, kicking my ass.
(00:32):
My job schedule's been a littlecrazy and, yeah, I'm also
seeing someone new now, so I'mjust adjusting to that too.
The whole bartend untilmidnight date somebody with a
normal schedule, life balanceLove that for me.
So, yeah, the whole bartenduntil midnight date somebody
with a normal schedule, lifebalance Love that for me.
So yeah, I've just been busy,but you know what it's been
about a month.
Hey, kevin, thanks for checkingup on me, dude, where you been,
(00:56):
and then shows how much youactually care.
I will never let that go.
Also, I'll be real.
The pod's been on the backburner a bit, not because I've
stopped caring, but becauseeverything else has been on fire
.
I'm trying to do it all Show upfor work, show up for my
relationship, show up for myselfand still somehow show up here
(01:19):
with jokes and stories.
So if you're still listening,thank you.
Now let me do what I do.
So, anyways, I get asked towork brunch on Father's Day
because apparently it wassupposed to be busy.
So they asked me the nightbefore hey, would you mind me
being the good player that I am?
I was like, yeah, sure I can dothat, thinking I'm going to be
out of there in the afternoon.
(01:40):
I'll still be able to hang outwith my dad.
All is well in the world.
Spoiler alert.
It wasn't.
It was just like regular Sundaybrunch, with a slightly higher
chance of getting stiff bysomeone in cargo shorts.
But then, plot twist, it's amale co-worker's birthday.
He's married but not a dad, sono kids, just a regular
(02:06):
grown-ass man out here livingwith a joint bank account in
zero dependence.
And suddenly the otherco-workers are all like, oh my
god, it's his birthday, heshouldn't have to work a double
on his birthday.
And they're all rallying behindthis like it's a make a wish
shift.
Next thing.
I know it's well, you know, ifso-and-so works the floor, mike
(02:30):
is here so he can man the barfor tonight, and that way he
gets to go home and celebratehis birthday.
And I'm standing there like what?
First of all.
I'm just here being a good teamplayer and I came early because
I was asked I wasn't scheduledto do a double.
But second of all, how in thefuck did his birthday become a
(02:51):
group project that now I gottapay for, like it was Father's
Day?
What about the actual dadsscheduled to do a double on
Father's Day?
You don't think that they'drather be home with their kids
to go and celebrate a day thatis dedicated to them, instead of
watching this man dip out earlyso he can go blow out candles?
(03:12):
And look, I got nothing againstthis guy.
He's a really cool dude.
I really like working with him.
He's a great guy.
But birthdays are not a nationalholiday.
We all have one.
You're not that fucking special.
You're 30 years old, not 13.
(03:34):
You don't get to skip out onwork because you age the digit.
Welcome to being an adult.
But whatever I was like youknow what?
Fine, give me that money, I'lltake the shift, fuck it.
And karma worked out in my favorbecause dinner ended up being
way busier than brunch anyway,so I made more, and then I also
(03:55):
got to watch some chaos unfold.
And chaos did unfold becausewhile I'm doing my thing during
brunch, I noticed somethinggoing down behind the bar one of
the bartenders that I'mscheduled with and I'm doing my
thing during brunch.
I notice something going downbehind the bar One of the
bartenders that I'm scheduledwith and I'm not naming names.
I would never do that, but theyjust keep pouring doubles off
the rip.
No request, no modifier, nowarning, just boom, heavy, pour
(04:25):
into a restaurant cocktail, likeshe's trying to win somebody's
custody battle with bourbon, andI wouldn't have said anything.
But I tasted one of the drinksthat she made, Actually two of
them.
I was trying to do a qualitycheck, right, see what the guest
is getting, make sure it's notoff, because she took a step out
for a second.
So I had to jump in and thewaitress was like oh, which is
which?
Because she made a vodka sodaand a vodka Sprite.
(04:46):
So only one way to know is yougot to taste, test it and I
swear to God I couldn't tellwhich was which.
I nearly gagged, not because Ihate vodka, I mean, I've never
loved it but I could stomach it.
But this, this was just jetfuel, like airplane grade level
ethanol served over ice, and Ihad to guess which drink was
(05:09):
which until she came back andconfirmed it.
Somehow I got it right, butonly by sheer luck, because they
both just tasted like regretand battery acid.
And yo just to clarify for thepeople in the back, I'm still
not drinking.
Just to clarify for the peoplein the back, I'm still not
drinking.
I don't consider me drinking,just taste testing.
The drinks that I made becauseI'm not sitting here posted up
(05:32):
with a whiskey on the rocks,like it's 2019.
I'm literally just like dippinga straw into a cocktail just to
kind of coat my tongue, likeit's a scope, just to make sure
that it doesn't taste like hotgarbage.
And I do that kind of I wouldn'tsay all the time, but
especially with things that Idon't know about, like all these
new bottles, liquors,chartreuse Amaro's wines I've
never heard of.
(05:52):
Half of it sounds like a spellfrom Harry Potter and the other
half just tastes like regret.
So, yeah, I lie through myteeth when a manager's like you
all know what the wine tasteslike, right?
And then there's me having nofucking clue, absolutely,
totally.
Never been more sure ofanything in my life, because I'm
(06:13):
not going out of my way toactually like drink a drink,
like I'm just gonna taste testsomething that I have no idea
what it's gonna taste like.
Just so I know that I'm notactually putting out something
terrible out into the void.
But listen, I'm actually notagainst doubles.
If someone asks for a doubleand they're paying for it,
(06:35):
that's fine, that's great.
Absolutely More power to you.
Know, that guy likes a strongdrink, or that lady likes a
strong drink, but pouring themunprompted at a restaurant?
Absolutely not.
This isn't a dive bar.
This isn't a club.
This isn't Kyle's basementparty where everyone's drinking
(06:58):
out of red solo cups that smelllike regret and pickle juice,
and it's definitely not Becky'spregame at her house, where the
goal is to get as drunk aspossible before going out just
to go and save some money.
This is a restaurant wherepeople are trying to enjoy a
(07:20):
cocktail, not get blacked outbefore the waiter comes back and
says oh, what would you likefor your entree?
Although, with how some of youpeople order, it truly amazes me
that some of you don't have afew pops before you go out,
because, my god, I'm just gonnacome out and say it when the
staff messes up on an order,it's not because of us, it's
because of you.
You fucking people don't knowwhat you want or how to order.
(07:42):
It's right there on the menu,just it.
The customer isn't always right.
The staff just has to appeasethe customer, just so you don't
leave us a truly shitty tipbecause of your fuck up.
But that's for another day.
But anyways, this is a placewith steak specials, with
ambience that's family and kidfriendly, where karen will order
(08:05):
a lemon drop and send it backbecause it's too lemony.
Ugh, we cannot be casuallyfree-pouring doubles, like it's
an open bar at a wedding.
You think you're being cool butall you're doing is setting a
time bomb in motion.
You pour someone three ouncesof tequila on drink one and by
(08:28):
drink two they're crying intotheir truffle fries or trying to
slow dance in front of the hoststand.
And let's talk tips, becausethat's the worst part they don't
tip more for stronger drinks.
No one's ever been like wow,that bartender over served me
and I blacked out by 6pm.
Here's 35%.
(08:49):
No, they leave a basic tip andthen you get yelled at because
they stood up too fast and faceplanted into their baby shower
table.
And if you're sitting therethinking well, what makes you
think you know what you'retalking about?
Fair question, but let me giveyou a little story.
So my girlfriend works at acoffee shop Totally separate
(09:11):
vibe.
One day this guy comes in andstarts chatting with her and he
apparently said that he went tothis place last night and the
bartender there made him some ofthe best drinks he's had in a
while.
And she's like, wait, myboyfriend works there, is that
the guy with the tattoos?
And he was like yeah, that'shim.
And she's like, oh, yeah,that's my boyfriend.
Dude was floored the first timeat her shop total small world
(09:33):
moment.
But he literally said he'ddefinitely be coming back to the
restaurant, not because Ipoured him doubles, but because
he said I made his drinks well,that's it Just well made drinks
with balance, taste and actualattention to detail.
So yeah, people notice and youdon't need to pour a double to
get a good tip or leave animpression.
(09:55):
Sometimes just knowing whatyou're doing is enough.
However, now the inventory isalso shot Because you don't
think that management doesn'tnotice when the Tito's bottle
looks like it just got mugged.
We have poor accounts for areason.
If you're giving away doublesevery time someone's getting
(10:17):
written up, and it's usually notthe person who thought Tito's
was short for titties out, andon top of that, it's low-key
stealing from the restaurant.
You're giving away liquor thatisn't yours without charging for
it.
That's not being the funbartender.
That's being the reason costsare off and everyone's getting
(10:40):
side-eyed on their next staffmeeting.
And don't forget liability.
Someone gets too drunk, causesa scene, gets into an accident,
whatever.
Now it's not just a hangover,it's a court case.
Nobody wants to be thebartender who over-served, the
dude who ended up on the localnews doing a jig on a cop car.
(11:02):
But let me give you the realreason as to why this drives me
nuts.
And it's not just the chaos orthe potential chaos that might
unfold, it's the team impact.
When bartenders pool tips withservers, which we do at a lot of
restaurants, giving someone aheavy pour doesn't help anybody,
(11:25):
because if the drink is toostrong, guess what, they won't
order another one.
They'll sip it slow, they'llnurse it and that's pretty much
it.
The table's drink sales aredone and then the servers check
average tanks and suddenly we'reall losing out, because when we
pulled all of our tips together, all of the checks at the end
(11:46):
of the night matter.
So if I can do a better job ofgiving the servers a good drink
where somebody is going to ordera couple of rounds that builds
their bill, which ultimatelygives me a better tip out from
them.
So now you're not justoverpouring, you're
underperforming, you're messingwith the system that keeps
(12:08):
everyone paid.
When it comes to a restaurant,it's both quality and quantity,
but if the drink is too strong,they're going to be a one and
done.
People aren't out here thinkingthat they're going to get
jungle juice every time theyorder a drink.
They're here to have a fewrounds and leave with their
dignity and their Amex statementunder $200.
And especially when you'repumping out drinks for the
(12:32):
waiters and waitresses, we don'tsee who's getting that drink.
It could be a 21-year-old ontheir hopefully, but
realistically not first legaldrink.
Or it could be someone's 80year old grandma trying to treat
herself to a pinot and aflatbread.
Either way, chances are theycan't handle a pour that strong.
(12:55):
And if I'm making drinks for therestaurant floor, I'm also
trying to think about who'sdrinking those drinks, because
if someone is stumbling to theircar after a cocktail I made,
I'm not trying to be the reasonfor it by pouring a double.
You might be thinking thatyou're hooking up the guests,
but you're not.
You're just shortening theirtab and everyone else's paycheck
(13:17):
.
You're not a hero, you're thereason the server's crying in
the walk-in, especially if thatserver's gonna taste test what
you're pouring, because, my god,anyways, if you're still
rocking with me after all that Iappreciate you.
I know this one's a shorterepisode, but it's all I could
muster up this week.
New episodes drop when lifelets me breathe a little bit,
(13:38):
but I promise I'm notdisappearing.
If you've got thoughts, storiesor anything you want to hear me
rant about, next, send it in.
Actually, you know what anyother bartenders out there am.
I totally in the wrong forthinking the way that I'm
thinking, where you don't justautomatically pour a double,
thinking that that person'sgonna like you for pouring them
a double.
(13:58):
Like how many people out thereactually enjoy having a double
just poured for them off the bat?
I don't know many, but alright,anyways, send in your emails to
lnbemedia@ gmail.
com.
Make sure you follow thepodcast @thelnbepodcast on
Instagram and TikTok.
Make sure you comment andsubscribe as well.
That helps me a lot too, and Iwill catch you on the next round
(14:22):
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