December 3, 2025 • 13 mins
This episode trades spreadsheets for soul and maps a clear, practical path out of corporate misery through three life-changing promises: remove the nail, follow your energy, and go all in. Through story, psychology, and embodied wisdom, we reveal why two inner voices battle for control—fear mind versus intuitive intelligence—and how choosing the quiet, expansive voice unlocks the life you actually want.
We begin with the catalyst moments: the bathroom-stall escape, the Rocky cringe, and the realization that avoidance carries a hidden energy tax. You’ll learn the two-voices model, how fear mind keeps you stuck in hesitation and “helmet” behavior, and why intuitive signals feel quieter but more true. Promise one—remove the nail—requires accepting that things may get worse before they get better, but that honesty frees energy.
Promise two—follow your energy—uses the Nine Lives method to identify directions that grow you rather than “passion myths.” We include the tool “If I wouldn’t fail…” to silence fear and reveal the real choice. Promise three—go all in now—ends hedging, sparks identity shift, and reframes burnout as misalignment, not overwork.
Daily practice centers on choosing, moment by moment, which voice runs your day.
High-volume keywords used: burnout, intuition, fear mind, identity shift, corporate escape, mindset, energy management, personal transformation
Listener Takeaways
- The two voices: fear mind vs embodied intuition
- Why “removing the nail” frees massive trapped energy
- How to follow energy instead of chasing passion myths
- Tools like Nine Lives and “If I wouldn’t fail…” to clarify direction
- The power of going all in to end hedging and create identity shift
Follow for daily longevity and wellness episodes.
This podcast is created by Ai for educational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional medical or health advice. Please talk to your healthcare team for medical advice.
Never miss an episode—subscribe on your favorite podcast app!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Welcome to the deep dive.
Today we're uh we're steppingaway from the usual, you know,
the dense spreadsheets andquarterly reports.
SPEAKER_00 (00:06):
Yeah, we're going a bit deeper.
SPEAKER_01 (00:08):
A lot deeper.
We're turning our attention tosomething.
Well, something I think isprofoundly more valuable.
SPEAKER_00 (00:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (00:14):
The architecture of a truly energized, authentic
life.
SPEAKER_00 (00:17):
Aaron Ross Powell Our source material is fantastic
for this.
It's from Graham Weaver's lastlecture series at the Stanford
GSB.
And it's not business tactics,it's pure life philosophy.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
And our mission for this deep dive is to really
synthesize his framework forachieving what he calls full
power.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Right.
And it all starts with this onemoment that, I mean, it
completely changed histrajectory.
It begins with corporate miseryand uh ends in some pretty
spectacular public humiliation.
SPEAKER_01 (00:45):
Okay, let's set the scene because I think a lot of
people will recognize thisfeeling.
He's a 27-year-old vicepresident.
He's successful, right, by anyexternal measure.
Totally.
But inside, he's just drowning.
He's at this mandatory three-dayoff-site in Napa, trapped in a
conference room.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03):
Oh, the worst.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
And he describes this moment of pure torture.
A colleague is reading aPowerPoint slide aloud.
Verbatim.
SPEAKER_00 (01:12):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (01:13):
A slide with 87 words on it.
And he's reading it at like halfspeed.
It's soul crushing.
SPEAKER_00 (01:19):
That's beyond friction.
That's a spiritual coma.
So out of this sheerdesperation, he comes up with an
escape plan.
SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
It sounds like something out of a spy movie.
It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (01:29):
It is.
He waits for the 10 4-5 AMbreak, make sure he's the last
one out, and then he ducks intothe men's room.
SPEAKER_01 (01:35):
But not to use it, to hide.
SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
Exactly.
He hides in a stall for eightfull minutes.
He's timed it out three minutesfor the hall to clear, plus a
five-minute buffer, all just toavoid running into his own
colleagues.
SPEAKER_01 (01:46):
I mean, hiding in a bathroom stall is a VP.
If that's not a symbol for beingon the wrong path in life, I
don't know what is.
SPEAKER_00 (01:52):
But then comes the glorious part.
SPEAKER_01 (01:54):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (01:55):
He gets out, sheds the corporate uniform, puts on
his running gear red bandana,and all and just takes off on
the Silverado Trail.
SPEAKER_01 (02:01):
And he hits that runner's high, right?
That moment where the fog justclears.
SPEAKER_00 (02:05):
And a voice comes through.
Not a thought, he says, but thisclear, undeniable truth.
It just says, Graham, this isn'tyou.
This isn't what you're meant todo.
Wow.
And the crazy thing was theimmediate sense of peace that
came with it.
The moment he decided right thento listen to that voice and quit
that safe but miserable job, allthe tension just released.
SPEAKER_01 (02:27):
He found his inner truth.
But this is where the story getsreally good because that run had
two very memorable parts.
SPEAKER_00 (02:34):
It did.
SPEAKER_01 (02:34):
The first was profound life-altering promise
to himself.
The second was pure comedy.
SPEAKER_00 (02:40):
He's on his way back, totally high on life, and
Eye of the Tiger from Rocky IIIcomes on his playlist.
SPEAKER_01 (02:46):
And he just loses all self-awareness.
SPEAKER_00 (02:48):
Completely.
He sees his reflection in thislong glass building, and you
know, fueled by adrenaline, hedecides he looks like Rocky.
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
So he's shirtless, bandana flapping in the wind,
sweating.
SPEAKER_00 (02:57):
And he starts shadow boxing, just going all in right
there in front of this hugewindow.
SPEAKER_01 (03:01):
Until he lowers his sunglasses and realizes the
meeting had broken for lunch.
SPEAKER_00 (03:06):
And his entire company is sitting inside,
having a nice meal, watchingtheir vice president perform
this one-man shirtless shadowboxing routine.
SPEAKER_01 (03:15):
It is a lifetime achievement in cringe.
SPEAKER_00 (03:17):
A truly magnificent failure of stealth.
SPEAKER_01 (03:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
But that contrast, the quiet, deep truth followed
by this reckless, joyfulabandon, that's what set him on
the path to figuring this allout.
SPEAKER_01 (03:30):
That's the perfect setup.
Yeah.
It's about this battle betweentwo internal voices.
And if you don't know who'stalking, you can't know who to
trust.
SPEAKER_00 (03:37):
Aaron Powell Precisely.
And Weaver argues there arethese two forces in constant
conflict inside of us.
The first voice is the oldest.
It's our survival instinct.
SPEAKER_01 (03:45):
The one that's been around for thousands of years,
the fight or flight thing.
SPEAKER_00 (03:48):
Right.
It speaks the language of fear,doubt, worry, anxiety.
It's your inner critic.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
And the source material is really specific
about where this voice lives.
SPEAKER_00 (03:57):
It's loud, it's always in your mind.
It's that constant stream ofchatter and analysis.
Basically, if you can hear it asa thought, that's voice one.
But hold on.
SPEAKER_01 (04:06):
If it's our survival instinct, isn't that voice
necessary sometimes?
I mean, doesn't it keep us frommaking really dumb decisions?
SPEAKER_00 (04:13):
That's the nuance, right?
Its job is to keep you safe.
And safe means known.
So even if the known is amiserable corporate job, it's
still predictable.
SPEAKER_01 (04:23):
So anytime you suggest something new or risky.
SPEAKER_00 (04:26):
The first voice just screams danger.
It protects the status quo, butit does it at the expense of
your potential.
SPEAKER_01 (04:32):
Okay, so that's the loud inner critic.
Yeah.
What's the second voice?
The true self.
SPEAKER_00 (04:37):
He calls it a few things
your soul, the source.
But unlike the first voice, thisone is quiet.
And it's not in your mind.
SPEAKER_01 (04:48):
It's in your body.
SPEAKER_00 (04:48):
It's in your body.
It speaks the language ofenergy.
It shows up somatically.
SPEAKER_01 (04:52):
That can be tough for analytical people, right?
Yeah.
The idea of trusting a feeling.
So how does it actually show up?
SPEAKER_00 (04:57):
It's a feeling of expansion or contraction.
Think about it.
When you know you have to dosomething that feels wrong, you
feel a tightness in your chest,right?
A knot in your gut.
SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
Yeah, that dread.
SPEAKER_00 (05:07):
That's the second voice contracting.
But when you get excited about anew idea or you connect with
someone, you feel a lightness, asurge of energy, an expansion.
SPEAKER_01 (05:16):
And that's the real you.
But the first voice is so loud,it just drowns it out.
SPEAKER_00 (05:21):
Which leads to a life that feels too small.
All that friction, like thedissonance between the two.
And he realized he couldn't justwait for another random runner's
high to find his truth.
SPEAKER_01 (05:30):
He needed a system, an intentional framework.
SPEAKER_00 (05:32):
Which is where his three promises come in.
They're designed to help youaccess and amplify that second
voice on purpose.
SPEAKER_01 (05:39):
Let's get into the first one, which is absolutely
the starting point for all ofthis.
SPEAKER_00 (05:44):
Promise one the unstuck promise.
Take the nail out of your head.
SPEAKER_01 (05:48):
I love this analogy.
He talks about that viral videoof the woman complaining about
this agonizing pressure andheadache.
SPEAKER_00 (05:54):
And she has a giant nail sticking out of her
forehead.
SPEAKER_01 (05:56):
But she keeps insisting it's not about the
nail, sweetie.
SPEAKER_00 (05:59):
We all do that.
We all have a nail.
It's that obvious paralyzingtruth we refuse to deal with.
SPEAKER_01 (06:05):
And he puts these nails into four buckets, right?
SPEAKER_00 (06:08):
Yeah.
One is bad habits, two,unresolved stuff from your past,
three, self-imposed rules abouthow your life has to go.
And four is just pure fear.
Fear that keeps you stuck in abad job or a bad relationship.
SPEAKER_01 (06:21):
So logically, you just think, pull the nail out.
But it's so much harder thanthat.
SPEAKER_00 (06:26):
It is.
And there are two main reasons.
The first is just refusing tospeak the truth out loud.
SPEAKER_01 (06:30):
The first voice wants to keep it hidden.
SPEAKER_00 (06:32):
Right.
He tells a story about a friendwith chronic insomnia.
She's exhausted all the time.
The doctor's diagnosis isimmediate.
Stop drinking four to fiveglasses of wine right before
bed.
SPEAKER_01 (06:43):
And what does she do?
She says it's a horrible idea.
SPEAKER_00 (06:46):
Exactly.
Instead of pulling the nail, thealcohol, she builds what he
calls a helmet around her nail.
She sees four more doctors, getsmultiple prescriptions.
SPEAKER_01 (06:56):
Wasting all this energy managing the symptom
instead of just solving theactual problem.
SPEAKER_00 (07:01):
Aaron Ross Powell That idea of the helmet is so
key.
The energy you spend complainingand avoiding is often way more
than the energy it would take tojust fix the thing.
We exhaust ourselves protectingwhat's hurting us.
SPEAKER_01 (07:12):
So how many of us are doing that?
Building these complex helmetsinstead of just doing the one
simple, uncomfortable thing.
SPEAKER_00 (07:17):
Aaron Powell And that's the second difficulty.
Life will get worse first.
That's the truth.
SPEAKER_01 (07:23):
Right.
When you quit the job or end therelationship, there's immediate
pain, financial strain,loneliness, discomfort.
SPEAKER_00 (07:30):
Aaron Powell To get to the next higher plateau, you
have to go down first.
The path isn't straight up.
SPEAKER_01 (07:34):
Aaron Powell That sounds good in theory, but for
someone listening who's facing,you know, real debt or social
isolation, worse first justsounds terrifying.
SPEAKER_00 (07:43):
Aaron Powell It is terrifying.
And that's the comfort the firstvoice offers.
Predictability, even if it'spredictably miserable.
But the motivation comes fromrealizing how much energy you're
already losing.
The friction of staying put isimmense.
So his takeaway is everythingthat you want is on the other
side of worse first.
That thing you're avoiding.
That's exactly where your workis right now.
SPEAKER_01 (08:05):
Okay, so we've taken the nail out, we've removed the
friction.
Now we need a direction.
SPEAKER_00 (08:09):
Which brings us to promise number two, the finding
your voice promise.
And this one is simple.
Follow your energy, not yourpassion.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
He really goes after that follow your passion advice,
doesn't he?
SPEAKER_00 (08:20):
He does.
He says it's actually harmfulbecause it implies three things
that just aren't true for mostsuccessful people.
SPEAKER_01 (08:26):
One, that you have only one passion.
Two, that you have to know whatit is by like age 28.
SPEAKER_00 (08:31):
And three, that you have to do only that one thing
for the next 40 years.
It's paralyzing.
SPEAKER_01 (08:37):
It creates this feeling that if you haven't
found the one thing, you're afailure.
SPEAKER_00 (08:41):
Exactly.
So he says, shift the focus.
Instead of a fixed destination,your passion, use a dynamic
compass, your energy.
SPEAKER_01 (08:49):
Energy is the language of your soul.
That's the second voice.
When you feel excited or curiousabout something, that's not
random.
That's a signal.
SPEAKER_00 (08:58):
And he has a great exercise for this called the
nine lives.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (09:01):
You imagine nine parallel universes.
Life, one is your current lifeas it is.
SPEAKER_00 (09:07):
And for lives two through nine, the rules are
strict.
They have to start today, andthey have to be things that
genuinely make you want to jumpout of bed in the morning.
SPEAKER_01 (09:15):
So it could be anything, right?
SPEAKER_00 (09:17):
Founder, professor, writer, monk, Vegas DJ.
It doesn't matter if it'srealistic.
The point is to identify whatcreates that spark of
excitement.
SPEAKER_01 (09:25):
And then there are two ways to use this list.
The first is simple.
SPEAKER_00 (09:28):
Just inject a piece of one of those other lives into
your current life.
Learn guitar, teach a class,start that blog, it lights a
spark, and that energy becomesinfectious.
SPEAKER_01 (09:37):
But the second way is the really powerful one for
big decisions.
SPEAKER_00 (09:41):
You look at all nine lives and you ask yourself one
question which one would Ichoose if I knew I wouldn't
fail?
SPEAKER_01 (09:48):
And that question just completely silences the
first voice.
It takes away its only weapon,which is the fear of failure.
SPEAKER_00 (09:55):
What's left is the answer.
Your richest dream.
That's the path your secondvoice wants you on.
But the moment you have thatclarity, well, that's when the
next promise becomes critical.
SPEAKER_01 (10:06):
The third and final principle
voice promise.
Go all in now.
SPEAKER_00 (10:12):
This is about the trap of living hedged.
One foot in the new thing, onefoot safely in the old life.
SPEAKER_01 (10:18):
Always waiting, waiting for the loans to be paid
off, waiting for the kids to getolder, waiting for perfect
clarity.
SPEAKER_00 (10:23):
And it's just a huge, soul-sucking waste of
energy.
And the first voice has thesetwo incredibly dangerous words
it uses to keep you there.
SPEAKER_01 (10:32):
Not now.
SPEAKER_00 (10:33):
Not now.
It never says never because thatfeels too final.
It says just wait a littlelonger.
But not now.
Almost always turns into never.
SPEAKER_01 (10:42):
He shares a really painful personal story about
this.
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
He does.
When he was 29, he was a guestlecturer at Stanford.
He was so excited, but he sayshe just completely bombed.
It was a disaster.
SPEAKER_01 (10:51):
And his first voice, his inner critic, just pounced
on that failure, told him, Notnow.
You're not ready.
Come back in 30 years.
SPEAKER_00 (11:00):
And the professor's feedback didn't help.
He literally wrote, You don'tneed to have charisma or be
articulate to start a company.
Ouch.
SPEAKER_01 (11:08):
So he was ready to quit teaching forever.
SPEAKER_00 (11:10):
But then he was coaching a student, Sarah, who
was paralyzed with fear aboutstarting her own company.
He had her write down everysingle one of her fears.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
Just get them out of her head and onto paper.
SPEAKER_00 (11:20):
And the act of writing them down just stripped
them of their power.
Suddenly she lit up withexcitement again.
When he asked what her decisionwas, she knew she was all in.
SPEAKER_01 (11:29):
And she started her company a month later.
SPEAKER_00 (11:31):
And watching her was a mirror for him.
He realized he had to do thesame thing with teaching.
He had to go all in, despitethat voice saying, not now.
SPEAKER_01 (11:41):
So he spent 60 hours preparing a single five-minute
piece of advice for his nextclass.
SPEAKER_00 (11:46):
Because his identity had shifted.
He wasn't trying to be a teacheranymore, he was a teacher.
SPEAKER_01 (11:50):
And that identity shift is the power of going all
in.
The conflict just dissolves.
The voice of fear lays down itssword because there's no
ambiguity left to fight over.
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
This is so important because it gets to the heart of
burnout.
Burnout isn't about working hardfor a long time.
SPEAKER_01 (12:07):
It's about friction.
It's about being out ofalignment, being hedged.
SPEAKER_00 (12:10):
Exactly.
When you're truly aligned, theenergy is abundant.
He compares it to love.
The more you give, the more youhave.
You with energy all in, as longas it takes, is enough.
That's the formula.
SPEAKER_01 (12:22):
So his whole search for the meaning of life
traveling, reading philosophers,it all came down to this.
SPEAKER_00 (12:27):
He concluded that the meaning of life isn't some
universal truth you find.
The meaning of life is for youto find your meaning.
And for him, that was to live atfull power.
SPEAKER_01 (12:36):
And these three promises are the roadmap to do
that.
SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
It's so clear.
One, take the nail out of yourhead, remove the friction.
SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
Two, go toward the energy, find your true
direction.
SPEAKER_00 (12:47):
And three, go all in now.
Commit, shift your identity, andsilence that inner critic.
SPEAKER_01 (12:53):
What's so beautiful about it is that even though
life feels so complex with allthese competing demands, he says
it boils down to just onedecision you have to make every
day.
SPEAKER_00 (13:03):
And that's really the final thought for you to
take away.
If you truly want to feel thefull magnitude of what you can
do in this one life you have,which voice will you listen to
when you wake up tomorrow?
Will it be that loud, insistentvoice of fear and doubt, or will
it be the quiet, expanding voiceof your energy and your true
self?
That's the only choice thatreally matters.
Welcome to the deep dive.
Today we're uh we're steppingaway from the usual, you know,
the dense spreadsheets andquarterly reports.
SPEAKER_00 (00:06):
Yeah, we're going a bit deeper.
SPEAKER_01 (00:08):
A lot deeper.
We're turning our attention tosomething.
Well, something I think isprofoundly more valuable.
SPEAKER_00 (00:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (00:14):
The architecture of a truly energized, authentic
life.
SPEAKER_00 (00:17):
Aaron Ross Powell Our source material is fantastic
for this.
It's from Graham Weaver's lastlecture series at the Stanford
GSB.
And it's not business tactics,it's pure life philosophy.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
And our mission for this deep dive is to really
synthesize his framework forachieving what he calls full
power.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Right.
And it all starts with this onemoment that, I mean, it
completely changed histrajectory.
It begins with corporate miseryand uh ends in some pretty
spectacular public humiliation.
SPEAKER_01 (00:45):
Okay, let's set the scene because I think a lot of
people will recognize thisfeeling.
He's a 27-year-old vicepresident.
He's successful, right, by anyexternal measure.
Totally.
But inside, he's just drowning.
He's at this mandatory three-dayoff-site in Napa, trapped in a
conference room.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03):
Oh, the worst.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
And he describes this moment of pure torture.
A colleague is reading aPowerPoint slide aloud.
Verbatim.
SPEAKER_00 (01:12):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (01:13):
A slide with 87 words on it.
And he's reading it at like halfspeed.
It's soul crushing.
SPEAKER_00 (01:19):
That's beyond friction.
That's a spiritual coma.
So out of this sheerdesperation, he comes up with an
escape plan.
SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
It sounds like something out of a spy movie.
It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (01:29):
It is.
He waits for the 10 4-5 AMbreak, make sure he's the last
one out, and then he ducks intothe men's room.
SPEAKER_01 (01:35):
But not to use it, to hide.
SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
Exactly.
He hides in a stall for eightfull minutes.
He's timed it out three minutesfor the hall to clear, plus a
five-minute buffer, all just toavoid running into his own
colleagues.
SPEAKER_01 (01:46):
I mean, hiding in a bathroom stall is a VP.
If that's not a symbol for beingon the wrong path in life, I
don't know what is.
SPEAKER_00 (01:52):
But then comes the glorious part.
SPEAKER_01 (01:54):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (01:55):
He gets out, sheds the corporate uniform, puts on
his running gear red bandana,and all and just takes off on
the Silverado Trail.
SPEAKER_01 (02:01):
And he hits that runner's high, right?
That moment where the fog justclears.
SPEAKER_00 (02:05):
And a voice comes through.
Not a thought, he says, but thisclear, undeniable truth.
It just says, Graham, this isn'tyou.
This isn't what you're meant todo.
Wow.
And the crazy thing was theimmediate sense of peace that
came with it.
The moment he decided right thento listen to that voice and quit
that safe but miserable job, allthe tension just released.
SPEAKER_01 (02:27):
He found his inner truth.
But this is where the story getsreally good because that run had
two very memorable parts.
SPEAKER_00 (02:34):
It did.
SPEAKER_01 (02:34):
The first was profound life-altering promise
to himself.
The second was pure comedy.
SPEAKER_00 (02:40):
He's on his way back, totally high on life, and
Eye of the Tiger from Rocky IIIcomes on his playlist.
SPEAKER_01 (02:46):
And he just loses all self-awareness.
SPEAKER_00 (02:48):
Completely.
He sees his reflection in thislong glass building, and you
know, fueled by adrenaline, hedecides he looks like Rocky.
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
So he's shirtless, bandana flapping in the wind,
sweating.
SPEAKER_00 (02:57):
And he starts shadow boxing, just going all in right
there in front of this hugewindow.
SPEAKER_01 (03:01):
Until he lowers his sunglasses and realizes the
meeting had broken for lunch.
SPEAKER_00 (03:06):
And his entire company is sitting inside,
having a nice meal, watchingtheir vice president perform
this one-man shirtless shadowboxing routine.
SPEAKER_01 (03:15):
It is a lifetime achievement in cringe.
SPEAKER_00 (03:17):
A truly magnificent failure of stealth.
SPEAKER_01 (03:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
But that contrast, the quiet, deep truth followed
by this reckless, joyfulabandon, that's what set him on
the path to figuring this allout.
SPEAKER_01 (03:30):
That's the perfect setup.
Yeah.
It's about this battle betweentwo internal voices.
And if you don't know who'stalking, you can't know who to
trust.
SPEAKER_00 (03:37):
Aaron Powell Precisely.
And Weaver argues there arethese two forces in constant
conflict inside of us.
The first voice is the oldest.
It's our survival instinct.
SPEAKER_01 (03:45):
The one that's been around for thousands of years,
the fight or flight thing.
SPEAKER_00 (03:48):
Right.
It speaks the language of fear,doubt, worry, anxiety.
It's your inner critic.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
And the source material is really specific
about where this voice lives.
SPEAKER_00 (03:57):
It's loud, it's always in your mind.
It's that constant stream ofchatter and analysis.
Basically, if you can hear it asa thought, that's voice one.
But hold on.
SPEAKER_01 (04:06):
If it's our survival instinct, isn't that voice
necessary sometimes?
I mean, doesn't it keep us frommaking really dumb decisions?
SPEAKER_00 (04:13):
That's the nuance, right?
Its job is to keep you safe.
And safe means known.
So even if the known is amiserable corporate job, it's
still predictable.
SPEAKER_01 (04:23):
So anytime you suggest something new or risky.
SPEAKER_00 (04:26):
The first voice just screams danger.
It protects the status quo, butit does it at the expense of
your potential.
SPEAKER_01 (04:32):
Okay, so that's the loud inner critic.
Yeah.
What's the second voice?
The true self.
SPEAKER_00 (04:37):
He calls it a few things
your soul, the source.
But unlike the first voice, thisone is quiet.
And it's not in your mind.
SPEAKER_01 (04:48):
It's in your body.
SPEAKER_00 (04:48):
It's in your body.
It speaks the language ofenergy.
It shows up somatically.
SPEAKER_01 (04:52):
That can be tough for analytical people, right?
Yeah.
The idea of trusting a feeling.
So how does it actually show up?
SPEAKER_00 (04:57):
It's a feeling of expansion or contraction.
Think about it.
When you know you have to dosomething that feels wrong, you
feel a tightness in your chest,right?
A knot in your gut.
SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
Yeah, that dread.
SPEAKER_00 (05:07):
That's the second voice contracting.
But when you get excited about anew idea or you connect with
someone, you feel a lightness, asurge of energy, an expansion.
SPEAKER_01 (05:16):
And that's the real you.
But the first voice is so loud,it just drowns it out.
SPEAKER_00 (05:21):
Which leads to a life that feels too small.
All that friction, like thedissonance between the two.
And he realized he couldn't justwait for another random runner's
high to find his truth.
SPEAKER_01 (05:30):
He needed a system, an intentional framework.
SPEAKER_00 (05:32):
Which is where his three promises come in.
They're designed to help youaccess and amplify that second
voice on purpose.
SPEAKER_01 (05:39):
Let's get into the first one, which is absolutely
the starting point for all ofthis.
SPEAKER_00 (05:44):
Promise one the unstuck promise.
Take the nail out of your head.
SPEAKER_01 (05:48):
I love this analogy.
He talks about that viral videoof the woman complaining about
this agonizing pressure andheadache.
SPEAKER_00 (05:54):
And she has a giant nail sticking out of her
forehead.
SPEAKER_01 (05:56):
But she keeps insisting it's not about the
nail, sweetie.
SPEAKER_00 (05:59):
We all do that.
We all have a nail.
It's that obvious paralyzingtruth we refuse to deal with.
SPEAKER_01 (06:05):
And he puts these nails into four buckets, right?
SPEAKER_00 (06:08):
Yeah.
One is bad habits, two,unresolved stuff from your past,
three, self-imposed rules abouthow your life has to go.
And four is just pure fear.
Fear that keeps you stuck in abad job or a bad relationship.
SPEAKER_01 (06:21):
So logically, you just think, pull the nail out.
But it's so much harder thanthat.
SPEAKER_00 (06:26):
It is.
And there are two main reasons.
The first is just refusing tospeak the truth out loud.
SPEAKER_01 (06:30):
The first voice wants to keep it hidden.
SPEAKER_00 (06:32):
Right.
He tells a story about a friendwith chronic insomnia.
She's exhausted all the time.
The doctor's diagnosis isimmediate.
Stop drinking four to fiveglasses of wine right before
bed.
SPEAKER_01 (06:43):
And what does she do?
She says it's a horrible idea.
SPEAKER_00 (06:46):
Exactly.
Instead of pulling the nail, thealcohol, she builds what he
calls a helmet around her nail.
She sees four more doctors, getsmultiple prescriptions.
SPEAKER_01 (06:56):
Wasting all this energy managing the symptom
instead of just solving theactual problem.
SPEAKER_00 (07:01):
Aaron Ross Powell That idea of the helmet is so
key.
The energy you spend complainingand avoiding is often way more
than the energy it would take tojust fix the thing.
We exhaust ourselves protectingwhat's hurting us.
SPEAKER_01 (07:12):
So how many of us are doing that?
Building these complex helmetsinstead of just doing the one
simple, uncomfortable thing.
SPEAKER_00 (07:17):
Aaron Powell And that's the second difficulty.
Life will get worse first.
That's the truth.
SPEAKER_01 (07:23):
Right.
When you quit the job or end therelationship, there's immediate
pain, financial strain,loneliness, discomfort.
SPEAKER_00 (07:30):
Aaron Powell To get to the next higher plateau, you
have to go down first.
The path isn't straight up.
SPEAKER_01 (07:34):
Aaron Powell That sounds good in theory, but for
someone listening who's facing,you know, real debt or social
isolation, worse first justsounds terrifying.
SPEAKER_00 (07:43):
Aaron Powell It is terrifying.
And that's the comfort the firstvoice offers.
Predictability, even if it'spredictably miserable.
But the motivation comes fromrealizing how much energy you're
already losing.
The friction of staying put isimmense.
So his takeaway is everythingthat you want is on the other
side of worse first.
That thing you're avoiding.
That's exactly where your workis right now.
SPEAKER_01 (08:05):
Okay, so we've taken the nail out, we've removed the
friction.
Now we need a direction.
SPEAKER_00 (08:09):
Which brings us to promise number two, the finding
your voice promise.
And this one is simple.
Follow your energy, not yourpassion.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
He really goes after that follow your passion advice,
doesn't he?
SPEAKER_00 (08:20):
He does.
He says it's actually harmfulbecause it implies three things
that just aren't true for mostsuccessful people.
SPEAKER_01 (08:26):
One, that you have only one passion.
Two, that you have to know whatit is by like age 28.
SPEAKER_00 (08:31):
And three, that you have to do only that one thing
for the next 40 years.
It's paralyzing.
SPEAKER_01 (08:37):
It creates this feeling that if you haven't
found the one thing, you're afailure.
SPEAKER_00 (08:41):
Exactly.
So he says, shift the focus.
Instead of a fixed destination,your passion, use a dynamic
compass, your energy.
SPEAKER_01 (08:49):
Energy is the language of your soul.
That's the second voice.
When you feel excited or curiousabout something, that's not
random.
That's a signal.
SPEAKER_00 (08:58):
And he has a great exercise for this called the
nine lives.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (09:01):
You imagine nine parallel universes.
Life, one is your current lifeas it is.
SPEAKER_00 (09:07):
And for lives two through nine, the rules are
strict.
They have to start today, andthey have to be things that
genuinely make you want to jumpout of bed in the morning.
SPEAKER_01 (09:15):
So it could be anything, right?
SPEAKER_00 (09:17):
Founder, professor, writer, monk, Vegas DJ.
It doesn't matter if it'srealistic.
The point is to identify whatcreates that spark of
excitement.
SPEAKER_01 (09:25):
And then there are two ways to use this list.
The first is simple.
SPEAKER_00 (09:28):
Just inject a piece of one of those other lives into
your current life.
Learn guitar, teach a class,start that blog, it lights a
spark, and that energy becomesinfectious.
SPEAKER_01 (09:37):
But the second way is the really powerful one for
big decisions.
SPEAKER_00 (09:41):
You look at all nine lives and you ask yourself one
question which one would Ichoose if I knew I wouldn't
fail?
SPEAKER_01 (09:48):
And that question just completely silences the
first voice.
It takes away its only weapon,which is the fear of failure.
SPEAKER_00 (09:55):
What's left is the answer.
Your richest dream.
That's the path your secondvoice wants you on.
But the moment you have thatclarity, well, that's when the
next promise becomes critical.
SPEAKER_01 (10:06):
The third and final principle
voice promise.
Go all in now.
SPEAKER_00 (10:12):
This is about the trap of living hedged.
One foot in the new thing, onefoot safely in the old life.
SPEAKER_01 (10:18):
Always waiting, waiting for the loans to be paid
off, waiting for the kids to getolder, waiting for perfect
clarity.
SPEAKER_00 (10:23):
And it's just a huge, soul-sucking waste of
energy.
And the first voice has thesetwo incredibly dangerous words
it uses to keep you there.
SPEAKER_01 (10:32):
Not now.
SPEAKER_00 (10:33):
Not now.
It never says never because thatfeels too final.
It says just wait a littlelonger.
But not now.
Almost always turns into never.
SPEAKER_01 (10:42):
He shares a really painful personal story about
this.
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
He does.
When he was 29, he was a guestlecturer at Stanford.
He was so excited, but he sayshe just completely bombed.
It was a disaster.
SPEAKER_01 (10:51):
And his first voice, his inner critic, just pounced
on that failure, told him, Notnow.
You're not ready.
Come back in 30 years.
SPEAKER_00 (11:00):
And the professor's feedback didn't help.
He literally wrote, You don'tneed to have charisma or be
articulate to start a company.
Ouch.
SPEAKER_01 (11:08):
So he was ready to quit teaching forever.
SPEAKER_00 (11:10):
But then he was coaching a student, Sarah, who
was paralyzed with fear aboutstarting her own company.
He had her write down everysingle one of her fears.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
Just get them out of her head and onto paper.
SPEAKER_00 (11:20):
And the act of writing them down just stripped
them of their power.
Suddenly she lit up withexcitement again.
When he asked what her decisionwas, she knew she was all in.
SPEAKER_01 (11:29):
And she started her company a month later.
SPEAKER_00 (11:31):
And watching her was a mirror for him.
He realized he had to do thesame thing with teaching.
He had to go all in, despitethat voice saying, not now.
SPEAKER_01 (11:41):
So he spent 60 hours preparing a single five-minute
piece of advice for his nextclass.
SPEAKER_00 (11:46):
Because his identity had shifted.
He wasn't trying to be a teacheranymore, he was a teacher.
SPEAKER_01 (11:50):
And that identity shift is the power of going all
in.
The conflict just dissolves.
The voice of fear lays down itssword because there's no
ambiguity left to fight over.
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
This is so important because it gets to the heart of
burnout.
Burnout isn't about working hardfor a long time.
SPEAKER_01 (12:07):
It's about friction.
It's about being out ofalignment, being hedged.
SPEAKER_00 (12:10):
Exactly.
When you're truly aligned, theenergy is abundant.
He compares it to love.
The more you give, the more youhave.
You with energy all in, as longas it takes, is enough.
That's the formula.
SPEAKER_01 (12:22):
So his whole search for the meaning of life
traveling, reading philosophers,it all came down to this.
SPEAKER_00 (12:27):
He concluded that the meaning of life isn't some
universal truth you find.
The meaning of life is for youto find your meaning.
And for him, that was to live atfull power.
SPEAKER_01 (12:36):
And these three promises are the roadmap to do
that.
SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
It's so clear.
One, take the nail out of yourhead, remove the friction.
SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
Two, go toward the energy, find your true
direction.
SPEAKER_00 (12:47):
And three, go all in now.
Commit, shift your identity, andsilence that inner critic.
SPEAKER_01 (12:53):
What's so beautiful about it is that even though
life feels so complex with allthese competing demands, he says
it boils down to just onedecision you have to make every
day.
SPEAKER_00 (13:03):
And that's really the final thought for you to
take away.
If you truly want to feel thefull magnitude of what you can
do in this one life you have,which voice will you listen to
when you wake up tomorrow?
Will it be that loud, insistentvoice of fear and doubt, or will
it be the quiet, expanding voiceof your energy and your true
self?
That's the only choice thatreally matters.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.