December 15, 2024 • 52 mins
Brittany's first journey into the world of plant medicine began with a step that many fear to take. Confronting societal misconceptions head-on, she shares how psilocybin mushrooms became a gateway to profound self-discovery and self-love. Join us as we unravel her story, exploring how plant medicine aligns with our core pillars of loving oneself, others, and the planet. Brian also weighs in, reflecting on his own experiences with microdosing and the patience and presence it has brought into his life. Together, we challenge the stigmas surrounding psychedelics and envision a future where their transformative potential is fully embraced.
Navigating a psychedelic experience can be as daunting as it is enlightening. We delve into the emotional and physical challenges that accompany a mushroom trip, such as feelings of heaviness and suffocation, and the importance of a supportive environment. The power of music emerges as a key facilitator in reaching these peaks of consciousness.
As personal transformation unfolds, we examine the journey to self-love and breaking free from societal beauty standards. From rethinking dietary choices to embracing a more natural lifestyle, Brittany shares her insights on receiving blessings and getting out of one's own way. There's a call to reevaluate where we invest our time and resources, encouraging a shift from superficial appearances to inner growth. By shedding societal programming, reconnecting with our authentic selves, and leading from the heart, we hope to inspire listeners to resubscribe to a life filled with genuine connections and truths.
Links:
Psilocybin is the safest drug video
Episode 4: How to Journey responsibly
Brian's Mushroom Playlist
James' Ultimate guide to Mushrooms and psychedelics
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
you're listening to the love movement with your
hosts britney and brian johnston.
We're starting a movementcentered around love to help
raise the vibration of thisbeautiful planet if that's your
vibe, hang out with us as wechat about many topics all
centered around three mainpillars Loving yourself, loving
each other and loving the planet.
So if you're ready, let's jumpin.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
All right, welcome back, friends, for episode 12.
And today we're doing anepisode that I didn't know when
we were gonna do this, but I'mgonna be doing most of the
interviewing today and I'm gonnabe interviewing britney because
she has done her first plantmedicine ceremony.
(00:54):
And you might be wondering whydo you keep talking?
You're talking about mushroomsand plant medicine ceremonies.
Well, this podcast is aboutlove and there's no better love
to yourself than the growth thatyou go through.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I think in in some of these ceremonies and it's
continuous yeah, totally, andyou don't look at anything the
same after and you thinkentirely different.
It's like an escape from the 3dworld and you think entirely
different.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
It's like an escape from the 3D world it is.
I think what it does is itcleans up, like when you clean
up your internal world, which iswhat you do when you start
working with plant medicine, andyour internal world creates
your external world right.
So it cleans up all thedistractions and it helps you
become your true, authentic self.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Because you're talking to your higher self.
That's what I was going to sayIn one of these ceremonies is
what you're doing and yourhigher self.
It knows what the truth is foryou as an individual and how we
should be living, and whatserves us, what serves us, what
doesn't serve us.
It through this medicine.
It shows you the way.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, and if you guys have not listened to any of the
other Love Movement podcastepisodes, episode number three
was me interviewing Brian on hisfirst journey, which is what
sort of brought about thisentire podcast in the first
place.
So listen to that if youhaven't.
And episode 10 was his morerecent journey, which is in
November, so just last month hedid this and I think I've always
(02:31):
just been like jealous of youdoing them because you're
getting such good insights and Ican see the growth and the
integration and all the things.
But I had so much resistance todo it myself and I was so
scared.
But I had so much resistance todo it myself and I was so
scared and I really just thinkat the end of the day, I'm like
a control freak and I don't likethe feeling of losing control.
That's why I've never in mylife done any drugs.
(02:53):
And then mushrooms is like yourbrainwash that this is a drug,
that's what society tells youand it's illegal.
So like the fact that we'vebeen talking about this feels a
little shady.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I feel like it's a gray area.
Well, I feel like one of themost destructive things in the
world is alcohol and you can buyit everywhere at any time.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
yeah, it's so true.
So many things in this worldare messed up and I feel like
they're going to want to keepmushrooms illegal because
mushrooms give you so muchinsight and clarity and answers
when used in a proper way.
So we have those other episodesto reference where we talk more
about that.
But if you've never heard ofany of those episodes, just
let's do a quick backstory onplant medicine, working with
(03:36):
psilocybin and it's funnybecause you never really brought
it up to me at all, but wemoved to Vancouver Island a
couple years ago now and Ilistened to my other friend, her
podcast, carly Pingen.
It's called Evolve and Expandand she did an episode on plant
medicine.
I remember seeing the title andbeing like what even is plant
medicine?
Like it wasn't, like she saidmy mushroom journey.
(03:58):
Like I didn't know what she'stalking about.
So I listened to it and I waslike so inspired after thinking
I want that experience.
I remember I came to you and Isaid, um, I think I want to do
mushrooms and you were like what?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
yeah, I was actually really excited because I was
trying starting to explore this.
I didn't really want to bringit up to britain and she comes
to me and my inside inner, likechild, is like yeah, we get to
do this why didn't?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
you want to bring it up to me um, because I knew you
had would have some preconceivednotion and idea about what it
is, because of how it'sperceived yeah, because I don't
do drugs yeah, good well, youdon't only do medicine that's
right and um, there was a reelthat we just were watching for
this podcast and this guy wassaying that mushrooms are safer
(04:48):
than every other drug on theplanet legal and not legal, more
than tobacco, alcohol, weed.
It's not addictive.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
It's not addictive, it actually helps with addiction
.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, there's so many things, so hopefully, there's a
day when this is readilyavailable to everybody that is
ready to work with it and therewill be.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
It's a long time coming.
Um, there's so much researchgoing on right now that it will
be.
It would.
There will be a day when thisis this is normal so for you.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Once I listened to that podcast and kind of brought
it out to you that I was likeopen to this, you started
microdosing which is a goodplace to start.
Yeah, which is where it startedand you noticed a big
difference in your I thinkpatience level patience level
with a toddler.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Yeah, it was almost like, uh, having a, a buffer
almost, where you know thingsdon't get to you as much, you
just let things like flow andyou're just more, you're more
present so I never really gotinto the microdosing but the
first time I explored it I didone gram with he, which we
talked about on our podcastabout dating or something yeah
it's on our dating one I forgetwhich number that is but we just
(05:56):
did one gram because we werekidless and alone and I felt
like it was a responsible timeto do it and I wanted to have an
experience of what it was like,because I'd never had this in
my body ever.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Because, right, you want to go low and slow.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, that's the thing with this.
You don't just like jump in and, you know, do a heroic dose
right away with just five grams.
You build a relationship withit.
You go low and slow.
See how you react, see how youfeel.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
And I had so many insights on that one gram like I
don't think I was expectingwhat and I still think about it,
and that was like three monthsago yeah so, and there's levels.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
There's levels to this the more you do, the deeper
you go so I did two grams.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
That's what you had suggested, and obviously all the
homework which you have in theshow notes of episode three.
I believe um podcast listenedto by James Zander, which is who
you learn a lot of things from,where he talks about like the
checklist and like what to doand how to prepare, what to
expect.
Um, you know, not just jumpingin and just doing this like
that's there's some work to dobeforehand, and not doing it
(06:55):
when you're not feeling good.
My plan was to do this onwednesday but our son had pink
eyes so we were like, obviouslyother plans I not going to do
when he's home.
And it's funny how it works outexactly when it's supposed to,
because it was the day after the1212 portal and like energies
are high and then it was onFriday the 13th.
Yeah, I just feel like it wasmeant to be that day.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Amazing.
So what we did is, you know, weenergetically cleared the room.
You want to have everythingclean, so clean the bathroom.
We clean the bedroom, makeeverything tidy.
You just want to do it in aplace where you feel good yeah,
a nice made bed.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Um, what else do you had like that thing that you
bang.
That makes like the sound whatis that?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
oh, it's like a sound bowl.
A sound bowl, you know, a tinylittle one.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yeah, a little tiny one metal one clean, it clears
the air, yeah clears, energy andsome different like sprays, and
you had essential oils goingand, just yeah, the house felt
clean, it felt good, I felt likeI'd had a shower the night
before and everything just wentsmooth in the morning.
Like our son was just a littlebreath of fresh air that morning
.
He was giving you extra hugsand kisses.
He was.
It was so sweet.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
He knew, he knew you were going to do something and
he had to send you off with love, yeah, something like that.
And then, yeah, going into it.
She was a little nervous, butwe, you know, we made it, made
it in a, in a shake Proteinshake.
Yeah, put some nootropicmushrooms in there.
So, like other mushrooms, therewas ashwagandha.
(08:21):
You know the mushroom, you knowlines mean reishi, all those
other Cordyceps yeah.
Cordyceps, all those otherthings.
And you know she took it in theshake and I knew in about 15
minutes she would start feelingit and she did.
But we, you know, prepared itwith water.
You know some electrolyte water, some snacks you know banana,
(08:42):
just in case you got hungryduring this.
Some snacks.
You know banana, just in caseyou got hungry during this.
And, like for me, I like doingthis alone, but I was just there
guiding her and kind of beinglike your trip sitter.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
You were being my shaman.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I just was.
Yeah, it was different becausewe did that one gram together.
It was like we were in ittogether, we could talk.
It was more of a social thing,but intimate because it was like
us, like it was just us.
It wasn't like we're partyingor something, whereas this one I
knew was like it was me doingthe inner work and I think
that's what I was resisting, waslike losing that control Once I
drink the shake and themushrooms are in my body, like
(09:17):
then I can't go back.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Like I'm going through this, you're committed.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
I'm committed and I think I was worried and scared
of like what I might find orhave to face that I was.
I didn't.
Maybe want to know, want to see?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I think that's most people.
Yeah, most people know theyhave something deep inside.
But the thing is, whatever isdeep inside, that it might be
affecting them on their everydaylife and they don't want to
face it more head on.
But that usually, especially inum therapy, that's how you get
(09:54):
through it is is facing thesethings.
It's bringing a new energy toit.
You know, accepting it,releasing it and working through
it.
So, yeah, it's a, it's aninteresting thing.
What?
The what the mushrooms bring up.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
You had me listen to a little bit of a meditation
prior to doing the mushrooms andlike even when I first drank it
and it hadn't kind of gotten mysystem yet and to journal, and
so I journaled literally tothese mushrooms and I'll just
read a little bit out of my myjournal.
I said please tell me, slash,show me what I need to know to
get out of my own way in health,wealth and business, because
(10:30):
obviously in all those areas Ihave like bigger goals than what
I currently am at.
I said I'm ready and wanting tostep into the next version of
myself and I know there are somethings I need to face and work
through, become aware of andchange in order to step into, be
and live out that version of me.
And I just said to be gentle onme, keep me safe, because you
can tell the mushrooms thosethings you can talk to them
(10:51):
during trip.
Yeah, um, I will surrender, letgo and enjoy the journey that
you take me on.
Um, yeah, hoping for claritythat I'm on the right path, and
wisdom for what's next, how toremove the blocks that are
keeping me stuck.
And so I just said I will notfear the fear, and I know that
love and joy is on the otherside of fear and that I'm going
to surrender, and I know thatthis is for the highest good of
(11:12):
my evolution.
And the next sentence I wrotewas once I was like in the trip
and I was journaling in it, butI will say I don't know Maybe
you need to explain it from yoursituation because I did not
love the beginning of this trip,like I would say, for an hour
and a half I was like what thehell have I done?
And I don't know if that'snormal or why that happened.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
No, it uh, it's different all the time.
Um, sometimes it's.
It can be a bumpy ride when you, when you first go through it
and and usually there's thisfeeling of like you're almost
trying to get out of your body.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
My body felt so heavy .
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, I felt the same way on my last one.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Did you feel like you were suffocating, Like you
couldn't breathe Um a little bit?
Yeah, Like was it.
Was I having a low grade panicattack?
Or was I like why, oh?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
yeah, it could be, and it's not always like that, I
don't remember any of that whenwe did the one gram.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
That's why I was like is this, because I've done two
grams, I'm like thinking, how dopeople do five?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
uh different mushrooms have different you
know levels of the.
You know different compounds inthem.
That will bring on differentexperiences too.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I just know that.
I'm glad you were there,because I feel like I started
getting in my head like your egojust can't get out of the way.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Like you're trying to go deep inside your
subconscious and you can't gothere with your body.
So it's almost like your brainis trying to let go of your body
and let go of, like you know,this 3D physical world so it can
go to another place to talk toitself.
(12:53):
I can't really explain how itworks, but you can't bring your
body into this like other realm,where this magic happens with
these mushrooms magic happenswith these mushrooms.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
And I just remember, like just being very grateful
that you were there and you'rewilling to lay with me and just
like remind me to like breathe,and I just remember I was
wearing a sports bra under myt-shirt.
I just had sweats and a t-shirton and the sports bra and I I
just was like I gotta rip thisoff.
Like I literally threw off myshirt, threw my bra on the
ground.
I was just like my feet wereclammy.
It was like I was cold and Iwas hot and I couldn't, could
not get comfortable.
Like my eye mask was bugging me, my head, the headphones were
(13:28):
bugging me.
I just felt like irritated fora while and then I ripped off
the headphones because there wasone song in particular that I
was like.
I felt like I was literallydrowning or suffocating.
This is definitely not sellinganybody on doing mushrooms, by
the way.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
It's all.
All, it's a.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
It's a process, though and it might not be like
this every time, no, it won't,be definitely not.
I just remember in the beginning, thinking I'm never doing this
again and like how irresponsibleam I.
I'm literally at home onmushrooms on a friday while my
kids at preschool like what am Idoing?
And the guilt and all thethings that were going on, and I
just like I was relieving hardon myself.
And then, yeah, I made you putthe music on, like across the
(14:06):
room on the speaker, because Ijust couldn't have it that
intense in my ears.
It was just too much.
And then at one point I justsort of like rolled over and was
in like the fetal position.
You were just cuddling me,rubbing my back, and then, oh,
somebody came to the door, thedoorbell rang and you.
(14:27):
And then, oh, somebody came tothe door, the doorbell rang and
you left.
Yeah, I think my Epicure ordershowed up or something.
Anyways, it was the first timeI was alone.
And then you came back and Ikind of I don't know if I was
getting into the place wherewhat do you call it Like you hit
the peak or something, and youkind of, yeah, you hit the peak,
and then it's usually like fromthere everything gets easier.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, and everything gets easier.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Yeah, and that's when you start having like the
really big insights.
I started feeling I couldbreathe, I wasn't as
uncomfortable and I just feltlike I was kind of fine on my
own.
I knew you were in the house,like if I needed you I could
call you.
It's not like you're incapableof like speaking or doing things
when you're on these.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
No, like, you can get up, you can go to the bathroom,
you can move your pillows, youcan whatever.
So I just did this in ourbedroom and I knew, like this
she did what I would call like alevel two trip, where it wasn't
super deep but it wasn't reallyshallow, it was kind of in the
middle and I could tell by justkind of how she was acting.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Um, she was a little more coherent than I was yeah
yeah, at that point well, and Iremember just being like is this
working, am I doing it right?
And I, I was so in my head, Iwas so in my head and even when
you left, I said just leave, youcan stay out of the room, but
just like, check on me in 10minutes.
And during that time I rememberkind of a couple times wanting
(15:36):
to call you back in the room,but it was almost like I knew I
could if I wanted to, but Iwasn't, I wasn't.
And it was almost like myhigher self was saying you're
okay, like you don't needsomeone else there, in a way.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Your whole life, I think you always felt like you
needed someone.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Well, I mean you've been together since I was 15.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Also, and like I don't like being alone ever, and
so I don't know, that wasinteresting, because I just
really it was almost like I justbreathed through it.
I didn't call for you and Ijust was like no, you can do
this, like you can consoleyourself, like you're fine,
you're safe.
And then I think the journeykind of got better and at some
point I did get you to come inand give me the headphones again
(16:20):
and took the music off thespeakers.
I heard headphones again andtook the music off the speakers,
because the music is a hugepart of it, like a huge part of
it.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
It's the, it's the driver of the car that you're in
it it's everything and some ofthem you're just.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
It just changes what you're.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I don't know how to describe it if you're say you're
, you know you're going downsomething that you don't want to
go down, the music will changeand your thoughts change.
It does it dry, it brings youdifferent places and your
playlist in particular is sogood.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Some songs feel almost scary.
Like you know, you're going tolike a dark spot where you don't
really want to go there, butthen it changes and it feels
like you're floating and you'resort of figuring things out like
you need some of that darkness.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
It's not.
It's not dark and gloomy, butyou need a little bit of the
contrast to you know, if youwant to do the work, you've got
to bring some things out of you.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Well, I remember when you came in and I maybe this
was when you were giving me theheadphones and I got up to go to
the bathroom and I just waslike I'm frustrated, like I want
to go into this trip and I feellike I'm stuck or I can't get
out of my own way, like is thisme not surrendering?
Like?
Like I'm saying I'msurrendering but I'm just
frustrated.
And then I said I was havingvisions of like I was like
trying to go through all thesedoors that were like in a circle
(17:30):
, and every time I'd go througha door and try to do something,
I was like in my way, in my way,in my way, like everywhere I
was, I was like in my way and Ijust wanted to yell at myself
and be like get out of the way.
Like when you did that last one,you were yelling at everybody
in the world to like stoptalking.
Like everybody, shut the fuckup Right.
Whereas I was like yelling atmyself, like get out of your own
(17:53):
way.
And so once I was like okay,like, get out of your own way.
Like the mushrooms are notgoing to give you any messages
or lessons if you can't get outof your own way.
It's almost like they wereannoyed because I wouldn't move.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Do you think there's parallels in your?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
life.
It's something from yourday-to-day life that you're such
a control freak abouteverything Like I think so many
moms can relate to this and sojust want to control everything
and know how everything is andwhatever.
But then the message and Istarted journaling.
I journaled get out of your ownway.
And then it was like visions ofme, just like giving, giving,
(18:26):
giving, like just giving giftsand giving people things.
And it was just all this giving.
I remember looking under a benchat one point trying to find a
gift to like give something tosomeone, and it was like stop
looking under benches, for morethings to give was the message.
But it was like my problem andwhy I'm in my own way everywhere
in my life is because I don'tknow how to receive, because the
(18:48):
minute I receive something, Iimmediately want to give
something.
Even if I go get a service done, like an appointment or a
massage, it's like I can receiveit but like, oh, but let me pay
you and let me tip you and tipyou good, like I got to, like I
don't want to be that tipper.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I've mentioned things like that to you before.
I'm like, brittany, you don'thave to do that, you don't have
to give someone a tip for thator you don't have to pay for
that.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Or if someone gives me something, just accept it and
receive it, not think like, oh,I got to give you something or
one-up you in that thing, and soI wrote down receive, you are
worthy.
And then this paragraph isreally big your power comes when
you stop long enough which Inever do to get out of your own
way to receive the blessingsthat have always been trying to
(19:33):
come to you.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Like the blessings have always been trying to come
my way in all these areas of mylife.
But I'm in the way because Idon't know how to receive.
But I'm in the way because Idon't know how to receive Even
with money.
Like I've made really goodincome doing Arbonne for the
last 18 years.
I'm also really good at notsaving it like I could be and
it's like why am I not evenreceiving that?
(19:59):
All your doors are more one waythey're out Literally, that's a
great way to explain it like andin health, it's like I'm good
but then I'll still eat all theshit and like sabotage myself
over and over and over again.
Um, say that I'm gonna exerciseand then I'm not, and say I'm
gonna listen to a podcast andI'm watching the ultimatum, like
I'm just in my own wayeverywhere.
(20:21):
And so the biggest message waslike you need to stop blocking
your blessings and every timeyou're doing things.
So when it comes to health,like every time you eat the
garbage, or it was weird.
I had a big message in this tripto about eating meat, which is
weird because, like we don't eatred meat really.
I mean, I'm not opposed to it,but you are the cook in the
house and you don't eat red meat, and so we haven't really ever
(20:45):
like we don't really eat redmeat, and when I can, I just
choose not to.
So I'm not.
I've sort of like gotten offthat track of eating red meat,
just how it is, I guess.
But we always eat a lot ofchicken and obviously it's
Christmas coming up, like turkey, and in the vision that I had
was like a chicken head goinginto this incinerator and it
just like slammed shut and themessage was just like, like it
(21:08):
was like don't eat the chicken,like, be one with the chicken.
It was so weird and I'm very,since that trip turned off by
chicken and turkey, like I don'tknow if I'm gonna be able to
eat turkey for christmas and amonth ago thing very similar
came up in mind about chickens,and I've yeah, it's part of the
process after a trip isintegration and like taking
(21:31):
action while you're feelinginspired of these things that
you learned.
And so we kind of decided todaythat we're going to do
pescatarian.
Last year we stopped drinking,this year we'll stop eating
chicken.
I don't know, I just feel, likeanybody too, that I know that
does a lot of energy work.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Um, they need to keep their vessel as clean as
possible, and most all of themare vegan.
It's something that I'venoticed.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, well, when you're are eating, you know meat
you're taking in the energy ofa living being you know, how
they're treated um all that yeah, and I mean I'm this is my
problem again in my life, butI'm just like even talking about
some of the stuff that came upin my message, like I don't want
this to be offensive to someonewho is farmer or loves eating
(22:14):
meat or all these things.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
This is just what comes up in a mushroom journey.
Is true to you, yeah, and youalone.
It doesn't like.
Everyone has their own truth.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yeah, but it was just weird that that message kind of
came out of nowhere and Ireally noticed in some of the
songs, like the birds chirpingand the water flowing and like
just really feeling like onewith nature and just craving.
In the middle of my trip I gotup and ate that banana and it
never tasted so good yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Honestly, the best banana I've ever ate was in the
middle of a journey Because,like all your, senses are
heightened.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
But I just remember thinking, even eating the banana
, I was focusing on chewing I.
But I just remember thinking,even eating the banana, I was
focusing on chewing, I wasfocusing on swallowing.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
I was focusing on receiving the nutrients of the
food it was very intentionalwhich were not and even water.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
When I was drinking the water I was like, oh, it was
like I was receiving the water.
And when I came out of the tripI just wanted like a cucumber,
so bad, and like what did youpeel me An orange?
And all day yesterday.
Yesterday I went to abreathwork session last night
and my friend had this amazingspread of all these fancy things
(23:17):
and, and you know, christmasbaking and things that I
normally would just shove fullof my like in my face.
I would just like eat all ofthe shit.
I didn't even want it, like itwasn't even a thing that I
wanted to eat.
I ate the carrots and a coupleof pickles and like some almonds
.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, so right there, a couple of pickles and like
some almonds.
Yeah, so right there, that's.
It's one of the the biggestpowers that plant medicine has.
It's a is its ability to breakhabits, and break habits that we
know we shouldn't be doing,like drinking, like I did.
A mushroom journey, you know,start of the year, quit drinking
.
I haven't drank in almost ayear now, over 11 months.
(23:49):
I have no desire to.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah, the desire like goes away which is weird.
So that was the biggest thing.
It was like this whole messagekept coming up over and over.
It was like you're blockingyour blessings.
You're blocking your blessingsand you know blessings can't
flow to you if you are purposelyand all the time blocking them
by putting that shit in yourmouth, by watching the trash TV.
And I'm not saying I'm nevergoing to do these things, like
(24:15):
I'm going to eat some of thecandy sometime.
I just, literally right now,have zero desire.
There's like a giant thing oftoffee phase on the counter and
I'm just like I don't even wantthem.
And that's not me.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
So, would you say, you've gained a new level of
awareness A hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
But it's almost like something rewired itself in my
brain or something that I don'twant it.
I mean, I'm the girl who willjust eat handfuls of chocolate
chips if there's no chocolate inthe house.
Multiple times Like I'm sosavage and as I do it, I'm like
why am I doing this?
I don't know if anyone canrelate to this, but it's like I
blame this as a postpartum.
(24:50):
Well, my son's turning four.
It's not postpartum.
It's me not being disciplinedand me self-sabotaging and being
in my own way and essentiallyblocking those blessings.
So it's like blessings can'tflow to you if you're always
blocking it.
So it's like the vision that Ihad of me blocking my blessings
(25:11):
was doing those things that Ikeep sabotaging and essentially
how I'm being in my own way,like the actions of me being in
my own way.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Do you think that some of those things you were
doing, that you know thismushroom trip?
Obviously you highlighted someof these things.
Do you think it was likeself-love?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yeah, I do Like you not showing yourself self-love
before.
Yeah, and part of like I don'tbecause I don, I don't receive,
I don't.
You ask me all the time.
Let's do breath work, let'smeditate.
I'm like I don't have time, Idon't have time, I don't have
time, but what do I have timefor?
And I had visions of me on myphone replying to messages to
everybody.
I'm just like I'm justresponding to everybody all the
time.
I'm not taking time for myselfmyself.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
So you're like a, like a cup or a kettle or
something that's just pouringout but not getting.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yeah, but I'm fooling myself to think that I am
filling myself up Like so.
This was another weird topicand I didn't even know if I
wanted to go here, cause Iliterally I'm still really kind
of struggling with this one andthis has been in the back of my
mind for a while.
But, like, I've had gel nailssince I was 16 years old and
I've been on this journey a longtime now of like eliminating
toxins in the house, like fromlaundry soap to toothpaste, to
(26:20):
everything, like dishwashingpods to we're going to be doing
a whole episode on that thatI've been wanting to do for a
very long time.
Well, and then the Diary of ceosteven bartlett's podcast.
He had a toxicologist on andjust listening to that two-hour
podcast it's like I just it's soheightened and thinking about
that and I always keep thinkingmyself every time I go to get my
nails done every three weeks,like what is this doing to my
(26:44):
body?
And I don't know and haveresearched it.
I'm not a researcher typeperson, but more so when I
notice the people in my lifethat are energy workers and
energy healers and things.
They don't have gel nails.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Well, I think what you might notice about those
people is the people who youknow don't have nails and
they're more, you know, plainJane.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
so to speak, they're being more authentic to their
true selves too, to their trueselves too, I think so, and I, I
mean, I got out of that tripand I was like I'm getting my
nails off and two hours later,you know, I'm like, I don't know
, I might just get them red forChristmas, like maybe shorten
them, like I'm, I'm it's like myego is fighting me in this and
I don't know that it has to belike an all or nothing thing,
(27:23):
but I almost just like we triednot drinking last year.
What if I tried not gettingnails every three weeks?
And what if I tried, I don'tknow?
Going back to my roots of beinga brunette I mean, I've been
blonde for a decade but likealso why?
Because when I look at myhigher self, I feel like she's
thin because she doesn'tself-sabotage constantly and she
(27:46):
also has brown hair and shealso is more natural and doesn't
have things like this, like gelnails.
And then my one nail broke theother day and my nails never
break because I have, like, thebest nail tech.
And and then after the trip Iwas like, is that a sign?
It's so nice having this onefinger?
That's like, not this long nail, I don't know.
So I'm struggling with thatbecause I don't know what I'm
(28:09):
going to do with that.
I also have a hair appointmentthis week and I'm like, what do
I do there?
I'm overthinking and this isall still really fresh.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I haven't obviously done a lot of integration, but
as soon as she came out of theroom I could just like came out
of the room after her journeyand she came out and she was.
I could just feel an energeticshift happen in her.
Like her energy was different.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
And then she's telling me all these things.
I'm like, wow, because I'vealways wanted her to have, like,
plain nails, because her nailsare beautiful just the way they
are.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
And I don't even know why I always.
It's also funny because whenyou have nails just on this
topic of nails, as an example Inever miss a nail appointment.
Like you will always rebookthat every three weeks or
whatever your you know cycle is,whereas sometimes I'll go three
, four, five, one time sixmonths without a massage,
because no one can seephysically that you've had a
(29:07):
massage.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
No.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
So I'll let those slide because I don't book it
but never a nail appointment andI think, like the money and the
time that I spend doing theseexterior things, I mean I've
done it all.
I've been in and out of gettinglashes for a long time Like I'm
out of that phase right now,but I've done that a lot.
I mean I had hair extensions.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
You did Botox briefly for a while for a while.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Yeah, that, yeah I did.
I did all the things like I'mbuying into the narrative of
society as if, like that is asymbol of success or status or
something.
And there was a couple times inum the trip, two things I want
to share too, like the music, Ithink was the music would change
because it was like athunderstorm song and it was
like thunderstorms will come butin the thunderstorm you can
(29:51):
still receive.
You are still worthy in thestorm if you're in the struggle,
and to look for, still look forthe blessings, because the
storm is going to pass, the sunwill shine again, and just to
keep going.
And that was just like a littlesnippet of like just this one
song that took me to that placewhere it's like you can be going
through hard times or timeswhen you're frustrating yourself
, but still be worthy ofreceiving.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Wow, yeah, it's very powerful.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
And then where did I say that?
Stop blocking your blessings.
They're right in front of you.
You and then I put in brackets.
Your ego is blocking you fromseeing it.
Right in front of you.
You and then I put in brackets,your ego is blocking you from
seeing it.
And then there was another partabout sharing things
authentically, without fear ofjudgment what others might think
or how it looks, but think oflike.
(30:40):
Who is this message for?
Just like us doing this podcastand me sharing this journey.
I don't have to come on hereand share this with whoever's
listening to this, but I feellike if this benefits someone
who's going to take somethingpositive from this, it's worth
it for me.
So share messages that healothers, the planet and yourself.
Um, receive, receive, receive.
(31:01):
Let the blessings wash over youLike they want to and just move
out of the way.
Something else that came up wasum, I can't like, I can't do
breath work, I can't meditate, Ican't cold plunge, I can't, I
can't, I can't, like.
I'm always saying that and inthe trip it was so clear as day
that it was like you can, butyou keep saying I can't.
(31:24):
And that is just you trying tocontrol, still trying to control
, because if I say I can't dothat now I'm controlling the
situation.
I can't do that and therefore,what you think you can, you
can't.
Either way, you're right yeah,that's you.
You're blocking your yourblessings right there exactly
it's good that can come out ofthis, you're blocking it and
then it's, and then I wrotecontrol means you're always
(31:44):
being in your own way and youwere always blocking your
blessings.
Then this one song came on andit was like I got out of.
It was like I, it was acelebration song or something,
and it was like I was pattingmyself on the back.
Tears were flowing out of myeyes and I felt really proud of
myself, like I remember feelingproud of myself for figuring
(32:05):
some of this stupid nonsense out.
You connected a bunch of dotsTotally and it was like good job
, Like you stepped aside forlong enough that you got the
clarity.
You did the things that youtold yourself you couldn't,
which was also I can't do ajourney, mushroom journey and
the blessings came.
Receive them, and not just to.
You know, I've always said inbusiness, like lead from the
(32:25):
front, but also lead from thefront in my life, Like not just
in business in life, the front,but also lead from the front in
my life, Like not just inbusiness in life.
So yeah, those were kind oflike it wasn't like a lot of
messages, but it was very clearand repetitive on.
My problem is I don't know howto receive and when I don't take
the time to receive, I'mblocking my blessings.
Blessings want to come, butthey can't come to you for
(32:46):
blocking them.
I think that's's everybody.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I think that's like very insightful for anybody,
regardless if you've been on thetrip or not yeah, and I think
people like you hear things,people talk about this, like
someone who's listening to thiswould be like oh yeah, don't
block your blessings, whatever.
But when you experience itfirsthand and your higher self
(33:09):
is talking to yourself in thissetting, it's, it's really
powerful, it's very deep, it isimpactful, because now you're
never going to forget that Ahundred percent.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
I remember just thinking when I got out of the
trip, cause you kind of knowwhen it ends and you're still
listening to music, you'reenjoying it, but you're kind of
coming back into the 3d worldand into your body, and I was
journaling and I just it waslike this kind of just
frustration again where it waslike why do women specifically
have to wear kind of this likeperfect armor, you know where?
They get Botox and filler andtheir brows done, their lips
(33:41):
done and they're skinny and theygot to be tanned and they got
to have nails and lashes anddesigner clothes and jewelry and
they need to drive the bestcars and live in the biggest
houses.
And I've fallen victim toliterally all of those things.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
And everything there is part of like consumerism.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
But all of it felt like to me when I wrote that
down.
It like it feels like all ofthat is blocking my blessings,
like the things that I think I'mdoing to elevate myself.
It's actually blocking myblessings because it's not me
leading my life, it's my ego.
It's like keeping up witheverybody on social and keeping
up with who I should be as a topincome earner in my company and
all of these things.
Like I was just the keynotespeaker.
How could I be on that stagewithout like gel nails and my
(34:17):
hair done and everything lookingperfect?
Like part of me wanted to walkout on stage with sweats.
That's my true self.
Like I want to be comfortable,you know, and I think as women,
we can all all we can be full ofall of that stuff, but then
still feel like we're drowning,like we're never good enough,
like we're never skinny enough,pretty enough, perfect enough,
(34:37):
and we're literally suffocatingin our own and drowning,
drowning and suffocating in ourown bullshit well, remember, you
know, our first mentor talkedabout the house and the
foundation.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
So you know, so true.
Picture a house and what arepeople doing?
They're outside, they'repainting their door.
Painting their door, putting ondifferent shingles.
You know painting the house,you know doing all these
different things in the exteriorof the house, when the thing
that makes the difference is thefoundation Working in the house
, inside the house, and nothingdoes that better than a plant
(35:15):
medicine journey, 100% Not atherapy session.
You could be in therapysessions for 10, 20 years.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Well, talk therapy will only ever get you so far.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
No.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
You need to give yourself those own answers.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
It's important, for sure it's important, but this
goes way deeper, way faster.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
And it was funny because I also wrote this
paragraph.
I said I don't need anotherpotion, lotion, pill drop or
patch.
I've obviously tried all thosetwo.
I need to give myself time timeaway from all of the like noise
of the world, which is alsojust a gift in itself to do a
trip, because you're justNothing else matters.
Your phone's on airplane mode,you are peaced out, um, and to
(35:56):
just get away from thecomparison, the shame, the blame
, the judgment that really doescome through the world of social
media that we're in, andreality tv and just, and it just
, I wrote in capital letters andbig letters like unsubscribe to
this narrative and resubscribeto me, to my life, to the people
that I love, who are literallyright in front of me, you know,
and so I guess I feel like,instead of nail appointments and
(36:19):
hair appointments and all thethings I want to do the work, I
want to go inward, I want tospend that time going deeper and
doing more of that work.
And I'm not saying it's eitheror I just for me in this
specific moment in time, I justneed to reassess, like where I'm
spending my time and my money.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
It's.
I think you're in a Britneyevolution.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
And I think we should all be growing continuously.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Well, your ego completely pops up because I'm
like when I'm on the island andI'm around all my friends that
are energy workers and healersand this and that and we're
doing breathwork sessions andceremonies and I look around,
not a single person has nails ontheir gel, nails on their hands
.
But then I go to, like you know, business arbonne events that
we're at and like everybody hasthem.
So then I feel like I'm juststuck in this world.
(37:07):
But it's like why am I makingthis about nails?
Like where is this coming from?
So my nail appointments onmonday actually messaged my, my
nail tech, and she's probablylike what the hell is happening
to her?
What are we doing?
I don't know.
Like I feel like I'm gonna getthere and get weak and be like
just make them red.
So she's taking them off rightoh, that's what I told her to do
(37:27):
my messengers before.
Before I had a weak moment,because the thing is, if I don't
like it I can get them back on,but like I've never not had
them and I just think likethat's so silly but you have
really nice nails.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Like you were a nail model, I know it's weird.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
I don't know how to explain it and I don't know why
that came up as like a thingthat I'm blocking my blessings,
Maybe because it's just takingtime away, for I could put time
in other places like doing moreinto.
Reiki, doing getting more ofthe breath work, taking the time
from meditation, instead oftelling myself I can't, I can't,
I can't, I don't have time.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
but I have time for the other surface stuff I just
don't want, I guess to spend mytime on the is blocking me and
part of how I'm in my own way,and again, just like my personal
(38:19):
kind of insights from this one,I noticed something interesting
.
So when I first did my mushroomjourney, it's like when you
come out of there because ofwhat you see and how you start
thinking and seeing the world,every's different.
So when I was, you know, beingmarried to you you haven't
experienced that yet.
So I'm seeing things a certainway, she's seeing things another
way and there's almost likethere's like a gap there in you
(38:42):
know and how we see things.
And the last time we hadsomething big like that happened
was when you went to our firstmentor, mentor.
You went to Keith.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
And so you went to Keith like I don't know, was it
six months before I did yeah?
And she came home and she waslike, oh my God, all this stuff
and she, just she wouldn't stoptalking about it.
And I'm like that's amazing,you know.
But I and she's like she was adifferent person, but I hadn't
experienced, you know, theknowledge that he was sharing
yet.
But when I did, I was like, oh,and then we were on the same
(39:14):
level again.
Yeah, and you can't explain itto someone.
No, so you came out of that roomand the way you were talking,
the energy that you had, and I'mlike, I feel like she's, you
know, up here, so to speak,elevating herself, just
elevating herself, kind of justelevating our consciousness.
Yeah, not elevating on, youknow, being a better person?
yeah, none of that, it's just adifferent level of thinking.
(39:36):
Um, the other thing I noticedis, when you start doing this
work and going deeper, there'sless people that you can relate
to, your group, that you want tohang around with and share your
energy with, and your time withstarts getting smaller.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Yeah, yeah, it's true , and not that that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
No, it just is what it is Like yeah, it just is what
it is Like.
Yeah, it just is what it isyeah, and you start attracting
other people that are on thatsame kind of level, that are
doing that same type of work,which I think is part of why
we've had this marriage as longas we have in this relationship,
Because we've always, like youknow, got what am I trying to
(40:25):
say?
Like supported each other withthe journey that we're on.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Like, and it took you a while to get on the personal
growth journey, on the spiritualjourney, but now you're on this
journey with plant medicine.
Then I caught up with you andit's like this kind of ping pong
, back and forth almost, butwe're still both elevating our
like you said consciousnessbecause we're still doing the
work.
You know, you listen to apodcast.
I listen to it because youthink, like, imagine a
(40:50):
relationship where, like, I'mdoing all the work and you're
just watching Netflix.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
And we've seen relationships like that and when
they usually end you know onego, they go different ways.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
And I remember when I started doing Arbonne and I you
know, they were saying you needyour business will never grow
bigger than you.
And I was like what does thateven mean Bigger than me?
Like I have reality TV to watchand you know gossip magazines
to read, cause that was like allI cared about.
But at the same time, it's true, my business wouldn't have
grown bigger than I was growing,and so I knew there was this
(41:22):
level of I have to start readingbooks, I guess like personal
self-growth books.
And I remember you saying andmaybe we've said this on a
podcast, I think we did abouthow you were like well, I don't
read.
I'm like you do read becauseyou graduated, so you know how
to read.
I think what you're saying isyou're slow at reading, you
probably don't like it, and Icalled you out on it that day.
And I remember saying likewe're either going to grow
(41:43):
together or we're going to growapart, and it's up to you.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
I was like Okay.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
And you were, no joke in bed the next night reading a
book.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
And now you're always crushing it and reading and
listening and telling me what toread and listen to.
But it's fun to grow togetherand whether that's in a marriage
or in a friendship or whateverand it's why relationships
change and evolve, because youchange and evolve and a lot of
people aren't willing to changeand evolve, they're not willing
to do the work evolve, they'renot willing to do the work.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Yeah, I think, like if you still have the same
friends you had in like gradeone or even high school and I
don't know.
I would just assess thoserelationships because or how are
they serving you?
Yeah, how are they serving you?
Speaker 1 (42:26):
And what did you say the other day about spiritual
awakening?
Usually happens between 30 and40?
.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Which is interesting because I literally started my
journey, started astrology, in2015 and I would have been 30
that year and I'm turning 40 in2025.
So I feel like I'm in this.
I've been on this journey oflike this more so, a little bit
of spiritual awakening and intothis more energy realm and work
for 10 years, but I feel likethere's so much more that I want
(42:52):
to do and explore it's.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
it's never ending.
And the biggest, I think one ofthe biggest pieces of this,
like you know, higherconsciousness.
All this stuff is just lettinggo of all the BS that society
has programmed us with.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
When you're in a trip , you literally look at the 3D
world that we live in as likethis big giant joke, and we're
so bought into it and it's justlike a game.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
It's a game, it's and it's.
It's all a distraction keepingus from what's really important.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
And again, if you've never done a journey, you
probably have no idea how totake that.
But, like, when you do it, youwill know exactly what I mean
yeah, so like what?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
the?
What I've got in my journeys,if I could sum it up, is
actually what this podcast isabout loving yourself, loving
each other and loving the planet, and I can't that.
That's literally a summary ofthe feelings, the emotions, uh,
everything you go through in ajourney, and I think you heard
(43:57):
that here, brittany talkingabout her journey.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Well, and I was just going to read a message I got
today because I posted onInstagram that we were going to
do this podcast.
When I did my journey yesterdayand a girl that I know, she
messaged me and she said I'm soexcited for you.
I did a journey about two yearsago with my psychologist,
because people that arepsychiatrists and psychologists
are doing psychedelics to helptheir patients yeah, this is a
thing, and she goes.
(44:20):
Even two years later, I'm stillhaving moments of understanding
as the layers of healing.
There's a lot that will makesense now, but even more as you
go.
Integration is a long processof healing and revealing over
and over again.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Enjoy the ride is a long process of healing and
revealing over and over again.
Enjoy the ride.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Yeah, most people do one journey in their life and
that's all you need.
Yeah, I want to figure out.
I guess I'm excited for thenext step.
Maybe three grams or I don'tknow if I'm too scared to go to
five grams.
Well, we just take it in stride, but we'll go a level deeper,
yeah, and see what else you gotto know.
We're always learning andgrowing and it's just, yeah,
(45:01):
like you said, it's anever-ending journey yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
It's kind of like a fast track to your personal
growth though it's a good way toput it it's like the it's like
the key yeah she's like the key.
It's like, uh, if you go up toa locked door and somebody gives
you some tools and says, openthe door with all these tools
and then that's like therapy orreading a book or whatever, and
(45:27):
then someone else comes up toyou with the key to the door.
You're like you're gonna takethe key I'm gonna take the key
because you, you can.
You can get to some of these.
You know higher consciousnessplaces with meditation and
transcendental meditation, allthe stuff, but it takes like a
long time to be able to mastersomething like that.
So, like here's, here's the key.
(45:49):
Here's a fungus that grows fromthe earth that the earth has
given us, let's uh, let's takethat.
That's a fast track.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
Yeah, and it's a medicine so I hope this has been
insightful.
I don't know, I didn't have asmany big messages and things as
I feel you did in your last twojourneys, but I do know I feel
you definitely went deeper thanI did.
This was very much like asurface level, but I do feel
like I got out of it what Ineeded.
At this point I'm glad I did it, and it's just now.
(46:19):
It's the integration process,so I'll keep you posted.
Do I keep the nails?
Do I not?
Do I go brunette?
Am I still blonde?
I don't know All the things I'mthinking of.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
I'm just excited seeing her and listening to her
and her just wanting to showherself more love and respect.
That's pretty, that's prettycool.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Oh, actually, there's one thing I have to talk about
with you saying that.
So, um, since I had marty, I'vealways felt like my like womb
space.
Oh right, this is very like likeblah, just like it's not toned
and tight, it's not like howflat, how it used to be, all
these things, and I keep tryingto figure out like why, or is it
(47:02):
just like me being thisundisciplined, not working out
enough, or I'm not supposed totake I don't know, like just
always trying to figure it out,and it's like somewhere outside
of me, always like the answer isoutside of me, painting the
house, literally like always,and I felt myself a lot in this
journey, just like having myhands on my stomach and on my
womb space and really giving itso much love and gratitude for
the fact that it grew the mostperfect human in the world,
(47:24):
which is our son, and a humanthat is like I mean, he's almost
four and he's funny and smartand beautiful and very kind,
loving and I just think like Igrew an entire human being in my
womb, yet I'm literallyshitting on it and sending it
hate and being ashamed of it andtrying to hide it and never
(47:46):
giving it any love that it couldreceive.
It's receiving nothing becauseit's like drought, and so my
vision was like ground, likecracked dry ground, you know
where it just like kind of puffsup and it's cracked and dry.
But once you start watering itand taking care of it maybe you
plant some seeds and flowersgrow or grass or whatever and it
kind of like tightens up andstarts looking like pretty Like.
(48:09):
I feel like I don't need allthese external things to get
there.
I need.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
So an absence of love .
It's in drought, it's in a lovedrought?
Speaker 1 (48:18):
yeah, and part of that is just me again comparing.
Why does so-and-so have a babyand they leave the hospital with
a flat stomach?
Or this person has abs threemonths later, like why am I over
?
here on the struggle bus fouryears later thief of joy's
comparison right and I'm missingout on exactly what's in front
of me, and like you don't loveme any less and why does it mean
(48:41):
something if my pants are asize bigger?
Like what?
Like it's all so much externalstuff.
And then it takes me back towhen my grandma passed away in
2018 and I just so vividlyremember, like feeling the
energy of her soul being goneand just like not wanting to
leave her physical body, butknowing she wasn't there anymore
.
Like who was there, who I lovedand wanted to be around, was
(49:05):
her soul.
It wasn't her body.
And yet all we do is goingthrough life focused on the
external, the shell, this vesselthat we've been given, and
basically shitting on it andshooting it up with poison left,
right and center, when we couldbe working, doing the soul work
.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
Yeah, this whole world is external, everything,
everything.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
That's so hard to be in that world and try to like
break free of it but still likemaintain your level of you know,
say for me, success and levelin my business, or the respect
of people.
Like I'm probably gonna havefriends that are like, is she
like gone down the deep end, butI can't stay where I am right
now if I want to be somewhereelse, and like some of those
people I'll bring with me on thejourney and some I'll leave
(49:50):
behind, but also on the journeyI'll find new people on the path
, like we already have.
Think of the people in our lifesince we moved here two years
ago.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Very different.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
It's insane.
It's such a blessing and youcan keep everything you had, but
you're adding on to it.
It's like I can still be.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
It's an exciting place.
Having new insights and doingall this stuff it's, it's really
cool, makes you feel alive.
Speaker 1 (50:21):
Yeah, and like you don't want to numb yourself in
life with the food and the TVand the stuff that we just numb
out to like, yeah, everything.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
You just feel like you just want to be more pure
with everything.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Yeah, so anyways, I'm glad you said that, cause I
brought up that last piece thatI forgot I wanted to mention.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
Amazing.
That was an important thing.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Yeah, so if you guys have ever had an experience, um,
doing like working withpsilocybin on your own, we'd
love to hear from you Like Ilove hearing from people that
have had great experiences andwhat their insights were.
Or if it's something you havequestions about, like, reach out
to us.
If this podcast has helped youand you're thinking of someone
that could benefit from this, oryou know someone's pops into
your head, send it to them.
Like I don't think I everlistened to a podcast ever
(51:04):
without sharing it, first of allif it's awesome, because that
can always add value to someoneelse like publicly on my wall
but also sharing it with someonespecific that I think this
could really help.
You know the last podcast wedid with Christy Dr, christy
Simpson with the World Institute.
That podcast has made a massivedifference in some people's
lives already Yep.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
Huge.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
And I said to Brian all week I was like we did that
podcast for so-and-so and Ididn't even know that we did
that.
Even the exercise at the endthat we did, the breathing
exercise, that already hashelped somebody very important
to us.
Yeah, and as I said, brian,like you did that on the cuff,
like that exercise, and it wasobviously for this person.
So a lot of the times when weshare messages and we share
ourselves, and whether it's forus on this podcast or just like
(51:45):
every day on our social media,it's for the people that need to
hear it yeah, and I realizedwith sharing this stuff like I
don't know, I get a lot of joywith helping people discover you
know what this plant medicinecan do for them.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
So if you have questions, seriously reach out,
just message me.
Yeah, I'd love to.
I love chatting about thisstuff and yeah, we're definitely
here, so opening people's minds.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
Yeah, so anyways, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
Thank you so much for listening.
That is all.
You guys have an awesome dayand we will chat with you on the
next one.
Chat with you on the nextepisode.
Love you guys, stay awesomePeace.
you're listening to the love movement with your
hosts britney and brian johnston.
We're starting a movementcentered around love to help
raise the vibration of thisbeautiful planet if that's your
vibe, hang out with us as wechat about many topics all
centered around three mainpillars Loving yourself, loving
each other and loving the planet.
So if you're ready, let's jumpin.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
All right, welcome back, friends, for episode 12.
And today we're doing anepisode that I didn't know when
we were gonna do this, but I'mgonna be doing most of the
interviewing today and I'm gonnabe interviewing britney because
she has done her first plantmedicine ceremony.
(00:54):
And you might be wondering whydo you keep talking?
You're talking about mushroomsand plant medicine ceremonies.
Well, this podcast is aboutlove and there's no better love
to yourself than the growth thatyou go through.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I think in in some of these ceremonies and it's
continuous yeah, totally, andyou don't look at anything the
same after and you thinkentirely different.
It's like an escape from the 3dworld and you think entirely
different.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
It's like an escape from the 3D world it is.
I think what it does is itcleans up, like when you clean
up your internal world, which iswhat you do when you start
working with plant medicine, andyour internal world creates
your external world right.
So it cleans up all thedistractions and it helps you
become your true, authentic self.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Because you're talking to your higher self.
That's what I was going to sayIn one of these ceremonies is
what you're doing and yourhigher self.
It knows what the truth is foryou as an individual and how we
should be living, and whatserves us, what serves us, what
doesn't serve us.
It through this medicine.
It shows you the way.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, and if you guys have not listened to any of the
other Love Movement podcastepisodes, episode number three
was me interviewing Brian on hisfirst journey, which is what
sort of brought about thisentire podcast in the first
place.
So listen to that if youhaven't.
And episode 10 was his morerecent journey, which is in
November, so just last month hedid this and I think I've always
(02:31):
just been like jealous of youdoing them because you're
getting such good insights and Ican see the growth and the
integration and all the things.
But I had so much resistance todo it myself and I was so
scared.
But I had so much resistance todo it myself and I was so
scared and I really just thinkat the end of the day, I'm like
a control freak and I don't likethe feeling of losing control.
That's why I've never in mylife done any drugs.
(02:53):
And then mushrooms is like yourbrainwash that this is a drug,
that's what society tells youand it's illegal.
So like the fact that we'vebeen talking about this feels a
little shady.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I feel like it's a gray area.
Well, I feel like one of themost destructive things in the
world is alcohol and you can buyit everywhere at any time.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
yeah, it's so true.
So many things in this worldare messed up and I feel like
they're going to want to keepmushrooms illegal because
mushrooms give you so muchinsight and clarity and answers
when used in a proper way.
So we have those other episodesto reference where we talk more
about that.
But if you've never heard ofany of those episodes, just
let's do a quick backstory onplant medicine, working with
(03:36):
psilocybin and it's funnybecause you never really brought
it up to me at all, but wemoved to Vancouver Island a
couple years ago now and Ilistened to my other friend, her
podcast, carly Pingen.
It's called Evolve and Expandand she did an episode on plant
medicine.
I remember seeing the title andbeing like what even is plant
medicine?
Like it wasn't, like she saidmy mushroom journey.
(03:58):
Like I didn't know what she'stalking about.
So I listened to it and I waslike so inspired after thinking
I want that experience.
I remember I came to you and Isaid, um, I think I want to do
mushrooms and you were like what?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
yeah, I was actually really excited because I was
trying starting to explore this.
I didn't really want to bringit up to britain and she comes
to me and my inside inner, likechild, is like yeah, we get to
do this why didn't?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
you want to bring it up to me um, because I knew you
had would have some preconceivednotion and idea about what it
is, because of how it'sperceived yeah, because I don't
do drugs yeah, good well, youdon't only do medicine that's
right and um, there was a reelthat we just were watching for
this podcast and this guy wassaying that mushrooms are safer
(04:48):
than every other drug on theplanet legal and not legal, more
than tobacco, alcohol, weed.
It's not addictive.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
It's not addictive, it actually helps with addiction
.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, there's so many things, so hopefully, there's a
day when this is readilyavailable to everybody that is
ready to work with it and therewill be.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
It's a long time coming.
Um, there's so much researchgoing on right now that it will
be.
It would.
There will be a day when thisis this is normal so for you.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Once I listened to that podcast and kind of brought
it out to you that I was likeopen to this, you started
microdosing which is a goodplace to start.
Yeah, which is where it startedand you noticed a big
difference in your I thinkpatience level patience level
with a toddler.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Yeah, it was almost like, uh, having a, a buffer
almost, where you know thingsdon't get to you as much, you
just let things like flow andyou're just more, you're more
present so I never really gotinto the microdosing but the
first time I explored it I didone gram with he, which we
talked about on our podcastabout dating or something yeah
it's on our dating one I forgetwhich number that is but we just
(05:56):
did one gram because we werekidless and alone and I felt
like it was a responsible timeto do it and I wanted to have an
experience of what it was like,because I'd never had this in
my body ever.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Because, right, you want to go low and slow.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, that's the thing with this.
You don't just like jump in and, you know, do a heroic dose
right away with just five grams.
You build a relationship withit.
You go low and slow.
See how you react, see how youfeel.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
And I had so many insights on that one gram like I
don't think I was expectingwhat and I still think about it,
and that was like three monthsago yeah so, and there's levels.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
There's levels to this the more you do, the deeper
you go so I did two grams.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
That's what you had suggested, and obviously all the
homework which you have in theshow notes of episode three.
I believe um podcast listenedto by James Zander, which is who
you learn a lot of things from,where he talks about like the
checklist and like what to doand how to prepare, what to
expect.
Um, you know, not just jumpingin and just doing this like
that's there's some work to dobeforehand, and not doing it
(06:55):
when you're not feeling good.
My plan was to do this onwednesday but our son had pink
eyes so we were like, obviouslyother plans I not going to do
when he's home.
And it's funny how it works outexactly when it's supposed to,
because it was the day after the1212 portal and like energies
are high and then it was onFriday the 13th.
Yeah, I just feel like it wasmeant to be that day.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Amazing.
So what we did is, you know, weenergetically cleared the room.
You want to have everythingclean, so clean the bathroom.
We clean the bedroom, makeeverything tidy.
You just want to do it in aplace where you feel good yeah,
a nice made bed.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Um, what else do you had like that thing that you
bang.
That makes like the sound whatis that?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
oh, it's like a sound bowl.
A sound bowl, you know, a tinylittle one.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yeah, a little tiny one metal one clean, it clears
the air, yeah clears, energy andsome different like sprays, and
you had essential oils goingand, just yeah, the house felt
clean, it felt good, I felt likeI'd had a shower the night
before and everything just wentsmooth in the morning.
Like our son was just a littlebreath of fresh air that morning
.
He was giving you extra hugsand kisses.
He was.
It was so sweet.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
He knew, he knew you were going to do something and
he had to send you off with love, yeah, something like that.
And then, yeah, going into it.
She was a little nervous, butwe, you know, we made it, made
it in a, in a shake Proteinshake.
Yeah, put some nootropicmushrooms in there.
So, like other mushrooms, therewas ashwagandha.
(08:21):
You know the mushroom, you knowlines mean reishi, all those
other Cordyceps yeah.
Cordyceps, all those otherthings.
And you know she took it in theshake and I knew in about 15
minutes she would start feelingit and she did.
But we, you know, prepared itwith water.
You know some electrolyte water, some snacks you know banana,
(08:42):
just in case you got hungryduring this.
Some snacks.
You know banana, just in caseyou got hungry during this.
And, like for me, I like doingthis alone, but I was just there
guiding her and kind of beinglike your trip sitter.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
You were being my shaman.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I just was.
Yeah, it was different becausewe did that one gram together.
It was like we were in ittogether, we could talk.
It was more of a social thing,but intimate because it was like
us, like it was just us.
It wasn't like we're partyingor something, whereas this one I
knew was like it was me doingthe inner work and I think
that's what I was resisting, waslike losing that control Once I
drink the shake and themushrooms are in my body, like
(09:17):
then I can't go back.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Like I'm going through this, you're committed.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
I'm committed and I think I was worried and scared
of like what I might find orhave to face that I was.
I didn't.
Maybe want to know, want to see?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I think that's most people.
Yeah, most people know theyhave something deep inside.
But the thing is, whatever isdeep inside, that it might be
affecting them on their everydaylife and they don't want to
face it more head on.
But that usually, especially inum therapy, that's how you get
(09:54):
through it is is facing thesethings.
It's bringing a new energy toit.
You know, accepting it,releasing it and working through
it.
So, yeah, it's a, it's aninteresting thing.
What?
The what the mushrooms bring up.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
You had me listen to a little bit of a meditation
prior to doing the mushrooms andlike even when I first drank it
and it hadn't kind of gotten mysystem yet and to journal, and
so I journaled literally tothese mushrooms and I'll just
read a little bit out of my myjournal.
I said please tell me, slash,show me what I need to know to
get out of my own way in health,wealth and business, because
(10:30):
obviously in all those areas Ihave like bigger goals than what
I currently am at.
I said I'm ready and wanting tostep into the next version of
myself and I know there are somethings I need to face and work
through, become aware of andchange in order to step into, be
and live out that version of me.
And I just said to be gentle onme, keep me safe, because you
can tell the mushrooms thosethings you can talk to them
(10:51):
during trip.
Yeah, um, I will surrender, letgo and enjoy the journey that
you take me on.
Um, yeah, hoping for claritythat I'm on the right path, and
wisdom for what's next, how toremove the blocks that are
keeping me stuck.
And so I just said I will notfear the fear, and I know that
love and joy is on the otherside of fear and that I'm going
to surrender, and I know thatthis is for the highest good of
(11:12):
my evolution.
And the next sentence I wrotewas once I was like in the trip
and I was journaling in it, butI will say I don't know Maybe
you need to explain it from yoursituation because I did not
love the beginning of this trip,like I would say, for an hour
and a half I was like what thehell have I done?
And I don't know if that'snormal or why that happened.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
No, it uh, it's different all the time.
Um, sometimes it's.
It can be a bumpy ride when you, when you first go through it
and and usually there's thisfeeling of like you're almost
trying to get out of your body.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
My body felt so heavy .
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, I felt the same way on my last one.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Did you feel like you were suffocating, Like you
couldn't breathe Um a little bit?
Yeah, Like was it.
Was I having a low grade panicattack?
Or was I like why, oh?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
yeah, it could be, and it's not always like that, I
don't remember any of that whenwe did the one gram.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
That's why I was like is this, because I've done two
grams, I'm like thinking, how dopeople do five?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
uh different mushrooms have different you
know levels of the.
You know different compounds inthem.
That will bring on differentexperiences too.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I just know that.
I'm glad you were there,because I feel like I started
getting in my head like your egojust can't get out of the way.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Like you're trying to go deep inside your
subconscious and you can't gothere with your body.
So it's almost like your brainis trying to let go of your body
and let go of, like you know,this 3D physical world so it can
go to another place to talk toitself.
(12:53):
I can't really explain how itworks, but you can't bring your
body into this like other realm,where this magic happens with
these mushrooms magic happenswith these mushrooms.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
And I just remember, like just being very grateful
that you were there and you'rewilling to lay with me and just
like remind me to like breathe,and I just remember I was
wearing a sports bra under myt-shirt.
I just had sweats and a t-shirton and the sports bra and I I
just was like I gotta rip thisoff.
Like I literally threw off myshirt, threw my bra on the
ground.
I was just like my feet wereclammy.
It was like I was cold and Iwas hot and I couldn't, could
not get comfortable.
Like my eye mask was bugging me, my head, the headphones were
(13:28):
bugging me.
I just felt like irritated fora while and then I ripped off
the headphones because there wasone song in particular that I
was like.
I felt like I was literallydrowning or suffocating.
This is definitely not sellinganybody on doing mushrooms, by
the way.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
It's all.
All, it's a.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
It's a process, though and it might not be like
this every time, no, it won't,be definitely not.
I just remember in the beginning, thinking I'm never doing this
again and like how irresponsibleam I.
I'm literally at home onmushrooms on a friday while my
kids at preschool like what am Idoing?
And the guilt and all thethings that were going on, and I
just like I was relieving hardon myself.
And then, yeah, I made you putthe music on, like across the
(14:06):
room on the speaker, because Ijust couldn't have it that
intense in my ears.
It was just too much.
And then at one point I justsort of like rolled over and was
in like the fetal position.
You were just cuddling me,rubbing my back, and then, oh,
somebody came to the door, thedoorbell rang and you.
(14:27):
And then, oh, somebody came tothe door, the doorbell rang and
you left.
Yeah, I think my Epicure ordershowed up or something.
Anyways, it was the first timeI was alone.
And then you came back and Ikind of I don't know if I was
getting into the place wherewhat do you call it Like you hit
the peak or something, and youkind of, yeah, you hit the peak,
and then it's usually like fromthere everything gets easier.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, and everything gets easier.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Yeah, and that's when you start having like the
really big insights.
I started feeling I couldbreathe, I wasn't as
uncomfortable and I just feltlike I was kind of fine on my
own.
I knew you were in the house,like if I needed you I could
call you.
It's not like you're incapableof like speaking or doing things
when you're on these.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
No, like, you can get up, you can go to the bathroom,
you can move your pillows, youcan whatever.
So I just did this in ourbedroom and I knew, like this
she did what I would call like alevel two trip, where it wasn't
super deep but it wasn't reallyshallow, it was kind of in the
middle and I could tell by justkind of how she was acting.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Um, she was a little more coherent than I was yeah
yeah, at that point well, and Iremember just being like is this
working, am I doing it right?
And I, I was so in my head, Iwas so in my head and even when
you left, I said just leave, youcan stay out of the room, but
just like, check on me in 10minutes.
And during that time I rememberkind of a couple times wanting
(15:36):
to call you back in the room,but it was almost like I knew I
could if I wanted to, but Iwasn't, I wasn't.
And it was almost like myhigher self was saying you're
okay, like you don't needsomeone else there, in a way.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Your whole life, I think you always felt like you
needed someone.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Well, I mean you've been together since I was 15.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Also, and like I don't like being alone ever, and
so I don't know, that wasinteresting, because I just
really it was almost like I justbreathed through it.
I didn't call for you and Ijust was like no, you can do
this, like you can consoleyourself, like you're fine,
you're safe.
And then I think the journeykind of got better and at some
point I did get you to come inand give me the headphones again
(16:20):
and took the music off thespeakers.
I heard headphones again andtook the music off the speakers,
because the music is a hugepart of it, like a huge part of
it.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
It's the, it's the driver of the car that you're in
it it's everything and some ofthem you're just.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
It just changes what you're.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I don't know how to describe it if you're say you're
, you know you're going downsomething that you don't want to
go down, the music will changeand your thoughts change.
It does it dry, it brings youdifferent places and your
playlist in particular is sogood.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Some songs feel almost scary.
Like you know, you're going tolike a dark spot where you don't
really want to go there, butthen it changes and it feels
like you're floating and you'resort of figuring things out like
you need some of that darkness.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
It's not.
It's not dark and gloomy, butyou need a little bit of the
contrast to you know, if youwant to do the work, you've got
to bring some things out of you.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Well, I remember when you came in and I maybe this
was when you were giving me theheadphones and I got up to go to
the bathroom and I just waslike I'm frustrated, like I want
to go into this trip and I feellike I'm stuck or I can't get
out of my own way, like is thisme not surrendering?
Like?
Like I'm saying I'msurrendering but I'm just
frustrated.
And then I said I was havingvisions of like I was like
trying to go through all thesedoors that were like in a circle
(17:30):
, and every time I'd go througha door and try to do something,
I was like in my way, in my way,in my way, like everywhere I
was, I was like in my way and Ijust wanted to yell at myself
and be like get out of the way.
Like when you did that last one,you were yelling at everybody
in the world to like stoptalking.
Like everybody, shut the fuckup Right.
Whereas I was like yelling atmyself, like get out of your own
(17:53):
way.
And so once I was like okay,like, get out of your own way.
Like the mushrooms are notgoing to give you any messages
or lessons if you can't get outof your own way.
It's almost like they wereannoyed because I wouldn't move.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Do you think there's parallels in your?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
life.
It's something from yourday-to-day life that you're such
a control freak abouteverything Like I think so many
moms can relate to this and sojust want to control everything
and know how everything is andwhatever.
But then the message and Istarted journaling.
I journaled get out of your ownway.
And then it was like visions ofme, just like giving, giving,
(18:26):
giving, like just giving giftsand giving people things.
And it was just all this giving.
I remember looking under a benchat one point trying to find a
gift to like give something tosomeone, and it was like stop
looking under benches, for morethings to give was the message.
But it was like my problem andwhy I'm in my own way everywhere
in my life is because I don'tknow how to receive, because the
(18:48):
minute I receive something, Iimmediately want to give
something.
Even if I go get a service done, like an appointment or a
massage, it's like I can receiveit but like, oh, but let me pay
you and let me tip you and tipyou good, like I got to, like I
don't want to be that tipper.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I've mentioned things like that to you before.
I'm like, brittany, you don'thave to do that, you don't have
to give someone a tip for thator you don't have to pay for
that.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Or if someone gives me something, just accept it and
receive it, not think like, oh,I got to give you something or
one-up you in that thing, and soI wrote down receive, you are
worthy.
And then this paragraph isreally big your power comes when
you stop long enough which Inever do to get out of your own
way to receive the blessingsthat have always been trying to
(19:33):
come to you.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Like the blessings have always been trying to come
my way in all these areas of mylife.
But I'm in the way because Idon't know how to receive.
But I'm in the way because Idon't know how to receive Even
with money.
Like I've made really goodincome doing Arbonne for the
last 18 years.
I'm also really good at notsaving it like I could be and
it's like why am I not evenreceiving that?
(19:59):
All your doors are more one waythey're out Literally, that's a
great way to explain it like andin health, it's like I'm good
but then I'll still eat all theshit and like sabotage myself
over and over and over again.
Um, say that I'm gonna exerciseand then I'm not, and say I'm
gonna listen to a podcast andI'm watching the ultimatum, like
I'm just in my own wayeverywhere.
(20:21):
And so the biggest message waslike you need to stop blocking
your blessings and every timeyou're doing things.
So when it comes to health,like every time you eat the
garbage, or it was weird.
I had a big message in this tripto about eating meat, which is
weird because, like we don't eatred meat really.
I mean, I'm not opposed to it,but you are the cook in the
house and you don't eat red meat, and so we haven't really ever
(20:45):
like we don't really eat redmeat, and when I can, I just
choose not to.
So I'm not.
I've sort of like gotten offthat track of eating red meat,
just how it is, I guess.
But we always eat a lot ofchicken and obviously it's
Christmas coming up, like turkey, and in the vision that I had
was like a chicken head goinginto this incinerator and it
just like slammed shut and themessage was just like, like it
(21:08):
was like don't eat the chicken,like, be one with the chicken.
It was so weird and I'm very,since that trip turned off by
chicken and turkey, like I don'tknow if I'm gonna be able to
eat turkey for christmas and amonth ago thing very similar
came up in mind about chickens,and I've yeah, it's part of the
process after a trip isintegration and like taking
(21:31):
action while you're feelinginspired of these things that
you learned.
And so we kind of decided todaythat we're going to do
pescatarian.
Last year we stopped drinking,this year we'll stop eating
chicken.
I don't know, I just feel, likeanybody too, that I know that
does a lot of energy work.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Um, they need to keep their vessel as clean as
possible, and most all of themare vegan.
It's something that I'venoticed.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, well, when you're are eating, you know meat
you're taking in the energy ofa living being you know, how
they're treated um all that yeah, and I mean I'm this is my
problem again in my life, butI'm just like even talking about
some of the stuff that came upin my message, like I don't want
this to be offensive to someonewho is farmer or loves eating
(22:14):
meat or all these things.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
This is just what comes up in a mushroom journey.
Is true to you, yeah, and youalone.
It doesn't like.
Everyone has their own truth.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yeah, but it was just weird that that message kind of
came out of nowhere and Ireally noticed in some of the
songs, like the birds chirpingand the water flowing and like
just really feeling like onewith nature and just craving.
In the middle of my trip I gotup and ate that banana and it
never tasted so good yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Honestly, the best banana I've ever ate was in the
middle of a journey Because,like all your, senses are
heightened.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
But I just remember thinking, even eating the banana
, I was focusing on chewing I.
But I just remember thinking,even eating the banana, I was
focusing on chewing, I wasfocusing on swallowing.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
I was focusing on receiving the nutrients of the
food it was very intentionalwhich were not and even water.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
When I was drinking the water I was like, oh, it was
like I was receiving the water.
And when I came out of the tripI just wanted like a cucumber,
so bad, and like what did youpeel me An orange?
And all day yesterday.
Yesterday I went to abreathwork session last night
and my friend had this amazingspread of all these fancy things
(23:17):
and, and you know, christmasbaking and things that I
normally would just shove fullof my like in my face.
I would just like eat all ofthe shit.
I didn't even want it, like itwasn't even a thing that I
wanted to eat.
I ate the carrots and a coupleof pickles and like some almonds
.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, so right there, a couple of pickles and like
some almonds.
Yeah, so right there, that's.
It's one of the the biggestpowers that plant medicine has.
It's a is its ability to breakhabits, and break habits that we
know we shouldn't be doing,like drinking, like I did.
A mushroom journey, you know,start of the year, quit drinking
.
I haven't drank in almost ayear now, over 11 months.
(23:49):
I have no desire to.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah, the desire like goes away which is weird.
So that was the biggest thing.
It was like this whole messagekept coming up over and over.
It was like you're blockingyour blessings.
You're blocking your blessingsand you know blessings can't
flow to you if you are purposelyand all the time blocking them
by putting that shit in yourmouth, by watching the trash TV.
And I'm not saying I'm nevergoing to do these things, like
(24:15):
I'm going to eat some of thecandy sometime.
I just, literally right now,have zero desire.
There's like a giant thing oftoffee phase on the counter and
I'm just like I don't even wantthem.
And that's not me.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
So, would you say, you've gained a new level of
awareness A hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
But it's almost like something rewired itself in my
brain or something that I don'twant it.
I mean, I'm the girl who willjust eat handfuls of chocolate
chips if there's no chocolate inthe house.
Multiple times Like I'm sosavage and as I do it, I'm like
why am I doing this?
I don't know if anyone canrelate to this, but it's like I
blame this as a postpartum.
(24:50):
Well, my son's turning four.
It's not postpartum.
It's me not being disciplinedand me self-sabotaging and being
in my own way and essentiallyblocking those blessings.
So it's like blessings can'tflow to you if you're always
blocking it.
So it's like the vision that Ihad of me blocking my blessings
(25:11):
was doing those things that Ikeep sabotaging and essentially
how I'm being in my own way,like the actions of me being in
my own way.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Do you think that some of those things you were
doing, that you know thismushroom trip?
Obviously you highlighted someof these things.
Do you think it was likeself-love?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yeah, I do Like you not showing yourself self-love
before.
Yeah, and part of like I don'tbecause I don, I don't receive,
I don't.
You ask me all the time.
Let's do breath work, let'smeditate.
I'm like I don't have time, Idon't have time, I don't have
time, but what do I have timefor?
And I had visions of me on myphone replying to messages to
everybody.
I'm just like I'm justresponding to everybody all the
time.
I'm not taking time for myselfmyself.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
So you're like a, like a cup or a kettle or
something that's just pouringout but not getting.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yeah, but I'm fooling myself to think that I am
filling myself up Like so.
This was another weird topicand I didn't even know if I
wanted to go here, cause Iliterally I'm still really kind
of struggling with this one andthis has been in the back of my
mind for a while.
But, like, I've had gel nailssince I was 16 years old and
I've been on this journey a longtime now of like eliminating
toxins in the house, like fromlaundry soap to toothpaste, to
(26:20):
everything, like dishwashingpods to we're going to be doing
a whole episode on that thatI've been wanting to do for a
very long time.
Well, and then the Diary of ceosteven bartlett's podcast.
He had a toxicologist on andjust listening to that two-hour
podcast it's like I just it's soheightened and thinking about
that and I always keep thinkingmyself every time I go to get my
nails done every three weeks,like what is this doing to my
(26:44):
body?
And I don't know and haveresearched it.
I'm not a researcher typeperson, but more so when I
notice the people in my lifethat are energy workers and
energy healers and things.
They don't have gel nails.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Well, I think what you might notice about those
people is the people who youknow don't have nails and
they're more, you know, plainJane.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
so to speak, they're being more authentic to their
true selves too, to their trueselves too, I think so, and I, I
mean, I got out of that tripand I was like I'm getting my
nails off and two hours later,you know, I'm like, I don't know
, I might just get them red forChristmas, like maybe shorten
them, like I'm, I'm it's like myego is fighting me in this and
I don't know that it has to belike an all or nothing thing,
(27:23):
but I almost just like we triednot drinking last year.
What if I tried not gettingnails every three weeks?
And what if I tried, I don'tknow?
Going back to my roots of beinga brunette I mean, I've been
blonde for a decade but likealso why?
Because when I look at myhigher self, I feel like she's
thin because she doesn'tself-sabotage constantly and she
(27:46):
also has brown hair and shealso is more natural and doesn't
have things like this, like gelnails.
And then my one nail broke theother day and my nails never
break because I have, like, thebest nail tech.
And and then after the trip Iwas like, is that a sign?
It's so nice having this onefinger?
That's like, not this long nail, I don't know.
So I'm struggling with thatbecause I don't know what I'm
(28:09):
going to do with that.
I also have a hair appointmentthis week and I'm like, what do
I do there?
I'm overthinking and this isall still really fresh.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I haven't obviously done a lot of integration, but
as soon as she came out of theroom I could just like came out
of the room after her journeyand she came out and she was.
I could just feel an energeticshift happen in her.
Like her energy was different.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
And then she's telling me all these things.
I'm like, wow, because I'vealways wanted her to have, like,
plain nails, because her nailsare beautiful just the way they
are.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
And I don't even know why I always.
It's also funny because whenyou have nails just on this
topic of nails, as an example Inever miss a nail appointment.
Like you will always rebookthat every three weeks or
whatever your you know cycle is,whereas sometimes I'll go three
, four, five, one time sixmonths without a massage,
because no one can seephysically that you've had a
(29:07):
massage.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
No.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
So I'll let those slide because I don't book it
but never a nail appointment andI think, like the money and the
time that I spend doing theseexterior things, I mean I've
done it all.
I've been in and out of gettinglashes for a long time Like I'm
out of that phase right now,but I've done that a lot.
I mean I had hair extensions.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
You did Botox briefly for a while for a while.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Yeah, that, yeah I did.
I did all the things like I'mbuying into the narrative of
society as if, like that is asymbol of success or status or
something.
And there was a couple times inum the trip, two things I want
to share too, like the music, Ithink was the music would change
because it was like athunderstorm song and it was
like thunderstorms will come butin the thunderstorm you can
(29:51):
still receive.
You are still worthy in thestorm if you're in the struggle,
and to look for, still look forthe blessings, because the
storm is going to pass, the sunwill shine again, and just to
keep going.
And that was just like a littlesnippet of like just this one
song that took me to that placewhere it's like you can be going
through hard times or timeswhen you're frustrating yourself
, but still be worthy ofreceiving.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Wow, yeah, it's very powerful.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
And then where did I say that?
Stop blocking your blessings.
They're right in front of you.
You and then I put in brackets.
Your ego is blocking you fromseeing it.
Right in front of you.
You and then I put in brackets,your ego is blocking you from
seeing it.
And then there was another partabout sharing things
authentically, without fear ofjudgment what others might think
or how it looks, but think oflike.
(30:40):
Who is this message for?
Just like us doing this podcastand me sharing this journey.
I don't have to come on hereand share this with whoever's
listening to this, but I feellike if this benefits someone
who's going to take somethingpositive from this, it's worth
it for me.
So share messages that healothers, the planet and yourself.
Um, receive, receive, receive.
(31:01):
Let the blessings wash over youLike they want to and just move
out of the way.
Something else that came up wasum, I can't like, I can't do
breath work, I can't meditate, Ican't cold plunge, I can't, I
can't, I can't, like.
I'm always saying that and inthe trip it was so clear as day
that it was like you can, butyou keep saying I can't.
(31:24):
And that is just you trying tocontrol, still trying to control
, because if I say I can't dothat now I'm controlling the
situation.
I can't do that and therefore,what you think you can, you
can't.
Either way, you're right yeah,that's you.
You're blocking your yourblessings right there exactly
it's good that can come out ofthis, you're blocking it and
then it's, and then I wrotecontrol means you're always
(31:44):
being in your own way and youwere always blocking your
blessings.
Then this one song came on andit was like I got out of.
It was like I, it was acelebration song or something,
and it was like I was pattingmyself on the back.
Tears were flowing out of myeyes and I felt really proud of
myself, like I remember feelingproud of myself for figuring
(32:05):
some of this stupid nonsense out.
You connected a bunch of dotsTotally and it was like good job
, Like you stepped aside forlong enough that you got the
clarity.
You did the things that youtold yourself you couldn't,
which was also I can't do ajourney, mushroom journey and
the blessings came.
Receive them, and not just to.
You know, I've always said inbusiness, like lead from the
(32:25):
front, but also lead from thefront in my life, Like not just
in business in life, the front,but also lead from the front in
my life, Like not just inbusiness in life.
So yeah, those were kind oflike it wasn't like a lot of
messages, but it was very clearand repetitive on.
My problem is I don't know howto receive and when I don't take
the time to receive, I'mblocking my blessings.
Blessings want to come, butthey can't come to you for
(32:46):
blocking them.
I think that's's everybody.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I think that's like very insightful for anybody,
regardless if you've been on thetrip or not yeah, and I think
people like you hear things,people talk about this, like
someone who's listening to thiswould be like oh yeah, don't
block your blessings, whatever.
But when you experience itfirsthand and your higher self
(33:09):
is talking to yourself in thissetting, it's, it's really
powerful, it's very deep, it isimpactful, because now you're
never going to forget that Ahundred percent.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
I remember just thinking when I got out of the
trip, cause you kind of knowwhen it ends and you're still
listening to music, you'reenjoying it, but you're kind of
coming back into the 3d worldand into your body, and I was
journaling and I just it waslike this kind of just
frustration again where it waslike why do women specifically
have to wear kind of this likeperfect armor, you know where?
They get Botox and filler andtheir brows done, their lips
(33:41):
done and they're skinny and theygot to be tanned and they got
to have nails and lashes anddesigner clothes and jewelry and
they need to drive the bestcars and live in the biggest
houses.
And I've fallen victim toliterally all of those things.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
And everything there is part of like consumerism.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
But all of it felt like to me when I wrote that
down.
It like it feels like all ofthat is blocking my blessings,
like the things that I think I'mdoing to elevate myself.
It's actually blocking myblessings because it's not me
leading my life, it's my ego.
It's like keeping up witheverybody on social and keeping
up with who I should be as a topincome earner in my company and
all of these things.
Like I was just the keynotespeaker.
How could I be on that stagewithout like gel nails and my
(34:17):
hair done and everything lookingperfect?
Like part of me wanted to walkout on stage with sweats.
That's my true self.
Like I want to be comfortable,you know, and I think as women,
we can all all we can be full ofall of that stuff, but then
still feel like we're drowning,like we're never good enough,
like we're never skinny enough,pretty enough, perfect enough,
(34:37):
and we're literally suffocatingin our own and drowning,
drowning and suffocating in ourown bullshit well, remember, you
know, our first mentor talkedabout the house and the
foundation.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
So you know, so true.
Picture a house and what arepeople doing?
They're outside, they'repainting their door.
Painting their door, putting ondifferent shingles.
You know painting the house,you know doing all these
different things in the exteriorof the house, when the thing
that makes the difference is thefoundation Working in the house
, inside the house, and nothingdoes that better than a plant
(35:15):
medicine journey, 100% Not atherapy session.
You could be in therapysessions for 10, 20 years.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Well, talk therapy will only ever get you so far.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
No.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
You need to give yourself those own answers.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
It's important, for sure it's important, but this
goes way deeper, way faster.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
And it was funny because I also wrote this
paragraph.
I said I don't need anotherpotion, lotion, pill drop or
patch.
I've obviously tried all thosetwo.
I need to give myself time timeaway from all of the like noise
of the world, which is alsojust a gift in itself to do a
trip, because you're justNothing else matters.
Your phone's on airplane mode,you are peaced out, um, and to
(35:56):
just get away from thecomparison, the shame, the blame
, the judgment that really doescome through the world of social
media that we're in, andreality tv and just, and it just
, I wrote in capital letters andbig letters like unsubscribe to
this narrative and resubscribeto me, to my life, to the people
that I love, who are literallyright in front of me, you know,
and so I guess I feel like,instead of nail appointments and
(36:19):
hair appointments and all thethings I want to do the work, I
want to go inward, I want tospend that time going deeper and
doing more of that work.
And I'm not saying it's eitheror I just for me in this
specific moment in time, I justneed to reassess, like where I'm
spending my time and my money.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
It's.
I think you're in a Britneyevolution.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
And I think we should all be growing continuously.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Well, your ego completely pops up because I'm
like when I'm on the island andI'm around all my friends that
are energy workers and healersand this and that and we're
doing breathwork sessions andceremonies and I look around,
not a single person has nails ontheir gel, nails on their hands
.
But then I go to, like you know, business arbonne events that
we're at and like everybody hasthem.
So then I feel like I'm juststuck in this world.
(37:07):
But it's like why am I makingthis about nails?
Like where is this coming from?
So my nail appointments onmonday actually messaged my, my
nail tech, and she's probablylike what the hell is happening
to her?
What are we doing?
I don't know.
Like I feel like I'm gonna getthere and get weak and be like
just make them red.
So she's taking them off rightoh, that's what I told her to do
(37:27):
my messengers before.
Before I had a weak moment,because the thing is, if I don't
like it I can get them back on,but like I've never not had
them and I just think likethat's so silly but you have
really nice nails.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Like you were a nail model, I know it's weird.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
I don't know how to explain it and I don't know why
that came up as like a thingthat I'm blocking my blessings,
Maybe because it's just takingtime away, for I could put time
in other places like doing moreinto.
Reiki, doing getting more ofthe breath work, taking the time
from meditation, instead oftelling myself I can't, I can't,
I can't, I don't have time.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
but I have time for the other surface stuff I just
don't want, I guess to spend mytime on the is blocking me and
part of how I'm in my own way,and again, just like my personal
(38:19):
kind of insights from this one,I noticed something interesting
.
So when I first did my mushroomjourney, it's like when you
come out of there because ofwhat you see and how you start
thinking and seeing the world,every's different.
So when I was, you know, beingmarried to you you haven't
experienced that yet.
So I'm seeing things a certainway, she's seeing things another
way and there's almost likethere's like a gap there in you
(38:42):
know and how we see things.
And the last time we hadsomething big like that happened
was when you went to our firstmentor, mentor.
You went to Keith.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
And so you went to Keith like I don't know, was it
six months before I did yeah?
And she came home and she waslike, oh my God, all this stuff
and she, just she wouldn't stoptalking about it.
And I'm like that's amazing,you know.
But I and she's like she was adifferent person, but I hadn't
experienced, you know, theknowledge that he was sharing
yet.
But when I did, I was like, oh,and then we were on the same
(39:14):
level again.
Yeah, and you can't explain itto someone.
No, so you came out of that roomand the way you were talking,
the energy that you had, and I'mlike, I feel like she's, you
know, up here, so to speak,elevating herself, just
elevating herself, kind of justelevating our consciousness.
Yeah, not elevating on, youknow, being a better person?
yeah, none of that, it's just adifferent level of thinking.
(39:36):
Um, the other thing I noticedis, when you start doing this
work and going deeper, there'sless people that you can relate
to, your group, that you want tohang around with and share your
energy with, and your time withstarts getting smaller.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Yeah, yeah, it's true , and not that that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
No, it just is what it is Like yeah, it just is what
it is Like.
Yeah, it just is what it isyeah, and you start attracting
other people that are on thatsame kind of level, that are
doing that same type of work,which I think is part of why
we've had this marriage as longas we have in this relationship,
Because we've always, like youknow, got what am I trying to
(40:25):
say?
Like supported each other withthe journey that we're on.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Like, and it took you a while to get on the personal
growth journey, on the spiritualjourney, but now you're on this
journey with plant medicine.
Then I caught up with you andit's like this kind of ping pong
, back and forth almost, butwe're still both elevating our
like you said consciousnessbecause we're still doing the
work.
You know, you listen to apodcast.
I listen to it because youthink, like, imagine a
(40:50):
relationship where, like, I'mdoing all the work and you're
just watching Netflix.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
And we've seen relationships like that and when
they usually end you know onego, they go different ways.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
And I remember when I started doing Arbonne and I you
know, they were saying you needyour business will never grow
bigger than you.
And I was like what does thateven mean Bigger than me?
Like I have reality TV to watchand you know gossip magazines
to read, cause that was like allI cared about.
But at the same time, it's true, my business wouldn't have
grown bigger than I was growing,and so I knew there was this
(41:22):
level of I have to start readingbooks, I guess like personal
self-growth books.
And I remember you saying andmaybe we've said this on a
podcast, I think we did abouthow you were like well, I don't
read.
I'm like you do read becauseyou graduated, so you know how
to read.
I think what you're saying isyou're slow at reading, you
probably don't like it, and Icalled you out on it that day.
And I remember saying likewe're either going to grow
(41:43):
together or we're going to growapart, and it's up to you.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
I was like Okay.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
And you were, no joke in bed the next night reading a
book.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
And now you're always crushing it and reading and
listening and telling me what toread and listen to.
But it's fun to grow togetherand whether that's in a marriage
or in a friendship or whateverand it's why relationships
change and evolve, because youchange and evolve and a lot of
people aren't willing to changeand evolve, they're not willing
to do the work evolve, they'renot willing to do the work.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Yeah, I think, like if you still have the same
friends you had in like gradeone or even high school and I
don't know.
I would just assess thoserelationships because or how are
they serving you?
Yeah, how are they serving you?
Speaker 1 (42:26):
And what did you say the other day about spiritual
awakening?
Usually happens between 30 and40?
.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Which is interesting because I literally started my
journey, started astrology, in2015 and I would have been 30
that year and I'm turning 40 in2025.
So I feel like I'm in this.
I've been on this journey oflike this more so, a little bit
of spiritual awakening and intothis more energy realm and work
for 10 years, but I feel likethere's so much more that I want
(42:52):
to do and explore it's.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
it's never ending.
And the biggest, I think one ofthe biggest pieces of this,
like you know, higherconsciousness.
All this stuff is just lettinggo of all the BS that society
has programmed us with.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
When you're in a trip , you literally look at the 3D
world that we live in as likethis big giant joke, and we're
so bought into it and it's justlike a game.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
It's a game, it's and it's.
It's all a distraction keepingus from what's really important.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
And again, if you've never done a journey, you
probably have no idea how totake that.
But, like, when you do it, youwill know exactly what I mean
yeah, so like what?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
the?
What I've got in my journeys,if I could sum it up, is
actually what this podcast isabout loving yourself, loving
each other and loving the planet, and I can't that.
That's literally a summary ofthe feelings, the emotions, uh,
everything you go through in ajourney, and I think you heard
(43:57):
that here, brittany talkingabout her journey.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Well, and I was just going to read a message I got
today because I posted onInstagram that we were going to
do this podcast.
When I did my journey yesterdayand a girl that I know, she
messaged me and she said I'm soexcited for you.
I did a journey about two yearsago with my psychologist,
because people that arepsychiatrists and psychologists
are doing psychedelics to helptheir patients yeah, this is a
thing, and she goes.
(44:20):
Even two years later, I'm stillhaving moments of understanding
as the layers of healing.
There's a lot that will makesense now, but even more as you
go.
Integration is a long processof healing and revealing over
and over again.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Enjoy the ride is a long process of healing and
revealing over and over again.
Enjoy the ride.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Yeah, most people do one journey in their life and
that's all you need.
Yeah, I want to figure out.
I guess I'm excited for thenext step.
Maybe three grams or I don'tknow if I'm too scared to go to
five grams.
Well, we just take it in stride, but we'll go a level deeper,
yeah, and see what else you gotto know.
We're always learning andgrowing and it's just, yeah,
(45:01):
like you said, it's anever-ending journey yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
It's kind of like a fast track to your personal
growth though it's a good way toput it it's like the it's like
the key yeah she's like the key.
It's like, uh, if you go up toa locked door and somebody gives
you some tools and says, openthe door with all these tools
and then that's like therapy orreading a book or whatever, and
(45:27):
then someone else comes up toyou with the key to the door.
You're like you're gonna takethe key I'm gonna take the key
because you, you can.
You can get to some of these.
You know higher consciousnessplaces with meditation and
transcendental meditation, allthe stuff, but it takes like a
long time to be able to mastersomething like that.
So, like here's, here's the key.
(45:49):
Here's a fungus that grows fromthe earth that the earth has
given us, let's uh, let's takethat.
That's a fast track.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
Yeah, and it's a medicine so I hope this has been
insightful.
I don't know, I didn't have asmany big messages and things as
I feel you did in your last twojourneys, but I do know I feel
you definitely went deeper thanI did.
This was very much like asurface level, but I do feel
like I got out of it what Ineeded.
At this point I'm glad I did it, and it's just now.
(46:19):
It's the integration process,so I'll keep you posted.
Do I keep the nails?
Do I not?
Do I go brunette?
Am I still blonde?
I don't know All the things I'mthinking of.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
I'm just excited seeing her and listening to her
and her just wanting to showherself more love and respect.
That's pretty, that's prettycool.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Oh, actually, there's one thing I have to talk about
with you saying that.
So, um, since I had marty, I'vealways felt like my like womb
space.
Oh right, this is very like likeblah, just like it's not toned
and tight, it's not like howflat, how it used to be, all
these things, and I keep tryingto figure out like why, or is it
(47:02):
just like me being thisundisciplined, not working out
enough, or I'm not supposed totake I don't know, like just
always trying to figure it out,and it's like somewhere outside
of me, always like the answer isoutside of me, painting the
house, literally like always,and I felt myself a lot in this
journey, just like having myhands on my stomach and on my
womb space and really giving itso much love and gratitude for
the fact that it grew the mostperfect human in the world,
(47:24):
which is our son, and a humanthat is like I mean, he's almost
four and he's funny and smartand beautiful and very kind,
loving and I just think like Igrew an entire human being in my
womb, yet I'm literallyshitting on it and sending it
hate and being ashamed of it andtrying to hide it and never
(47:46):
giving it any love that it couldreceive.
It's receiving nothing becauseit's like drought, and so my
vision was like ground, likecracked dry ground, you know
where it just like kind of puffsup and it's cracked and dry.
But once you start watering itand taking care of it maybe you
plant some seeds and flowersgrow or grass or whatever and it
kind of like tightens up andstarts looking like pretty Like.
(48:09):
I feel like I don't need allthese external things to get
there.
I need.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
So an absence of love .
It's in drought, it's in a lovedrought?
Speaker 1 (48:18):
yeah, and part of that is just me again comparing.
Why does so-and-so have a babyand they leave the hospital with
a flat stomach?
Or this person has abs threemonths later, like why am I over
?
here on the struggle bus fouryears later thief of joy's
comparison right and I'm missingout on exactly what's in front
of me, and like you don't loveme any less and why does it mean
(48:41):
something if my pants are asize bigger?
Like what?
Like it's all so much externalstuff.
And then it takes me back towhen my grandma passed away in
2018 and I just so vividlyremember, like feeling the
energy of her soul being goneand just like not wanting to
leave her physical body, butknowing she wasn't there anymore
.
Like who was there, who I lovedand wanted to be around, was
(49:05):
her soul.
It wasn't her body.
And yet all we do is goingthrough life focused on the
external, the shell, this vesselthat we've been given, and
basically shitting on it andshooting it up with poison left,
right and center, when we couldbe working, doing the soul work
.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
Yeah, this whole world is external, everything,
everything.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
That's so hard to be in that world and try to like
break free of it but still likemaintain your level of you know,
say for me, success and levelin my business, or the respect
of people.
Like I'm probably gonna havefriends that are like, is she
like gone down the deep end, butI can't stay where I am right
now if I want to be somewhereelse, and like some of those
people I'll bring with me on thejourney and some I'll leave
(49:50):
behind, but also on the journeyI'll find new people on the path
, like we already have.
Think of the people in our lifesince we moved here two years
ago.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Very different.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
It's insane.
It's such a blessing and youcan keep everything you had, but
you're adding on to it.
It's like I can still be.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
It's an exciting place.
Having new insights and doingall this stuff it's, it's really
cool, makes you feel alive.
Speaker 1 (50:21):
Yeah, and like you don't want to numb yourself in
life with the food and the TVand the stuff that we just numb
out to like, yeah, everything.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
You just feel like you just want to be more pure
with everything.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Yeah, so anyways, I'm glad you said that, cause I
brought up that last piece thatI forgot I wanted to mention.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
Amazing.
That was an important thing.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Yeah, so if you guys have ever had an experience, um,
doing like working withpsilocybin on your own, we'd
love to hear from you Like Ilove hearing from people that
have had great experiences andwhat their insights were.
Or if it's something you havequestions about, like, reach out
to us.
If this podcast has helped youand you're thinking of someone
that could benefit from this, oryou know someone's pops into
your head, send it to them.
Like I don't think I everlistened to a podcast ever
(51:04):
without sharing it, first of allif it's awesome, because that
can always add value to someoneelse like publicly on my wall
but also sharing it with someonespecific that I think this
could really help.
You know the last podcast wedid with Christy Dr, christy
Simpson with the World Institute.
That podcast has made a massivedifference in some people's
lives already Yep.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
Huge.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
And I said to Brian all week I was like we did that
podcast for so-and-so and Ididn't even know that we did
that.
Even the exercise at the endthat we did, the breathing
exercise, that already hashelped somebody very important
to us.
Yeah, and as I said, brian,like you did that on the cuff,
like that exercise, and it wasobviously for this person.
So a lot of the times when weshare messages and we share
ourselves, and whether it's forus on this podcast or just like
(51:45):
every day on our social media,it's for the people that need to
hear it yeah, and I realizedwith sharing this stuff like I
don't know, I get a lot of joywith helping people discover you
know what this plant medicinecan do for them.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
So if you have questions, seriously reach out,
just message me.
Yeah, I'd love to.
I love chatting about thisstuff and yeah, we're definitely
here, so opening people's minds.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
Yeah, so anyways, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
Thank you so much for listening.
That is all.
You guys have an awesome dayand we will chat with you on the
next one.
Chat with you on the nextepisode.
Love you guys, stay awesomePeace.
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