June 20, 2023 • 28 mins
What if your closest friend was a member of the opposite sex, and your relationship was purely platonic? Join us as we welcome special guests Raya and Brandon to discuss the often-misunderstood world of opposite sex friendships. We'll dive deep into the importance of trust, communication, and respect in maintaining these unique dynamics, while debunking the myths and misconceptions that society often imposes.
Not only do we share our personal experiences on how our marriages have thrived with the support of our opposite sex friends, but we also touch on the value of having a strong, supportive community that fights for your marriage. Plus, don't miss our fascinating discussion on the ongoing phenomenon of New York City sinking, its potential environmental consequences, and the importance of being mindful in our actions toward our planet. Tune in for an engaging and thought-provoking episode you won't want to miss!
Watch us here!!! https://www.youtube.com/@theloyalassertivepodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up everybody?
welcome back to the Lawyer andthe Soda podcast.
My name is Jay.
I'm Megan and, as you can see,we have some special guests here
with us today, and I'm gonnalet them introduce themselves.
You go right ahead.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
I'm Rhea and I'm Brandon, that's all y'all gonna
say And you're watching, right?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I heard it too.
I heard it too, so you'rewatching.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Oh no, so this is gonna be bad.
So it's nothing but laughter, iknow, but this is good.
I feel like the world gets tosee who we actually are in real
life.
So this is the Lawyer and theSoda podcast.
We are Jay and Megan.
Wow, we are.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Jay and.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Megan, and we are here with more love.
So we're gonna put their littlething down about, to make sure
they all watch their thing too.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Yes, please, please.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
All right, so we are called the Lawyer and the Soda
podcast, and that also matchesour best friends, which I'd like
to tell them.
why that matches y'all?
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Because, I'm loyal And I'm definitely a service.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Yes, she is, i'm a somebody.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
So we have been talking about doing this for a
long time and I felt like now isthe time, you know what I'm
saying 2023 is our year 2023 isme What?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
does that even mean, i feel like the last time
somebody claimed a year was 2020.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
So we're gonna begin today with a segment that we
call Wild Thoughts, and the WildThought for today is opposite
sex friendships don't have to besexualized.
Who wants that?
I didn't hit the mic, brandon.
I'm sorry.
It's gonna be bad for theaudience.
It was my head from.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I'll start.
I feel like I'll just start bysaying what everybody has
thought.
I think a lot of people thinkthat if you are best friends
with someone of the opposite sex, eventually it is going to
become sexual, because bestfriends are very vulnerable with
one another And you're sharingyourself, i guess intimately,
(02:10):
with someone else.
then obviously there's gonna befeelings and I'm like but does
it have to be that way?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Yeah, that's a really good question.
I feel like we've all had ourown journey with this, because
of us.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, i think that there is areal way in which God meant for
men and women to exist together,even beyond the boundaries of
like marriage.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I'm saying I think, because we do live in a very
sexualized culture.
I think it makes it difficultfor people to even kind of
conceive how that can be a thing.
And the reality is, amongst thefour of us we've had to figure
out how that is a thing.
You know what I mean.
But I think, ultimately, ithink it takes a lot of maturity
, yeah, very much so.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But I also think that media doesn't help.
Think about how many moviesthere are out there with the
premise that they were bestfriends and fell in love and
didn't even know.
So I think some of it isn'tjust the over sexualizing.
I think some of it is.
This is what media teaches us.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, brandy, do you have anything you want to say?
Because I wanted to saysomething else.
No, go ahead.
I think that a big element ofthis is trust.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Right, so not the oven beeping while I'm talking
Real life.
So I think that there has to bea trust between you.
Let me zoom out a little bit.
So we are married, but whatabout people who aren't married,
right?
So there needs to be a trustbetween you and the other person
that this relationship canactually exist in the friend
(03:48):
space without feeling like theother person is going to
sexualize with the relationship.
I think in a marriage context Ithink there's a lot of
different angles of trust.
So I think her and I have tohave a certain level of trust
with one another to allow her torelate to you, me to relate to
her and vice versa.
So why do you think so manypeople don't trust in that
(04:12):
capacity?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
So I will say this, and Brandon and I have talked
about this on our channel aswell, so Ah, come on, man.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Ah, come on Flo.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
But I will say so.
I feel like when people areabout to get married, they bring
in their best friends orwhatever the case may be, and
they don't communicate withtheir spouse.
You know what I'm saying.
They don't say, hey, this issuch and such, this is my best
friend, yada, yada, yada.
It's like they separate theworlds and so, for instance, if
(04:45):
I have a male best friend, i'mnot bringing him around.
My husband, you know what I'msaying.
It's like me and my husband,and then me and my best friend,
and it's separate.
And so my husband's like who'sdude?
Oh, he's my best friend.
And then, if I ever get into anargument with Brandon, i'm
running to my best friend, andthen it's like this I guess
weird dichotomy, you know whatI'm saying?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Come on Ben word.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
You know what I'm saying And I think that it can
definitely create animositybetween my best friend, my
husband like all that stuffbecause there's like a
separation instead of bringingit together.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Yeah, I think that the whole marriage part of it.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
It was her.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
What are we doing?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Because I know what she's laughing at.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
I do too.
I'm like, would you just beprofessional and just move on No
.
So this is how it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
It was the you moving on.
That's what he and me laughed.
You know what's even funnier,what's that?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
This is what she does .
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
It was like looking at her, but in a black man body.
Bro, you got to be kidding me.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
So what I was going to say is when it comes to the
way I think culture looks atstuff, like I think you said,
jay is definitely kind of goingoff of movies, music basically
like, what are the writers inHollywood saying?
You're not actually just lookingat what's in front of you and
just being honest and matureabout it.
(06:24):
I think for us, one of thethings that works is we were
already married when we startedreally opening up and being
mature and really trying toestablish what we have going on.
And I think what makes thiswork in the many connections
that we have is that we had alot of connections with the four
(06:46):
of us, like lots ofconversations, like we did that
a lot before there was thebreaking off.
Yes, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes, So I think what it is is there's respect.
I think respect for the marriedrelationship, There's respect
for the friend relationship.
There's just mutual respect allaround, which I think, Sharay,
you are alluding to.
there's a lack of respect whenyou're breaking off and having
those conversations and notallowing your spouse to be a
(07:13):
part of that.
But I think if you can haverespect to say, hey, I want to
be a part of this, you can trustme.
or even respect to say, like,shut up, Wait.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Are we going to get through?
this Is the way that the namesjust swallow.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Is that what it was?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I'm all.
Is that what it was?
OK, i thought it would makesure I knew what it is.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
How much cutting are you doing.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
This is actually a great place to pause, because I
realized I didn't actually pressrecord.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
No, What Oh on the.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Oh, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
So we're just going to get this angle here.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
That's fine.
I said I realized I didn'tpress record.
Like so, hi, but here's thething You already know, i
appreciate that you are willingto stop and start it as opposed
to just going.
Oh well, it's no big deal.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
No, no, no, No, no, no.
My brain won't let it go.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Even if half of the time or something shoot, i'll
start over All right.
Hi, i'm Brandon And these arethe temptations.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Not these.
So part of what I want to talkabout.
Y'all probably just seen ushave like a clip in the episode,
but here we are, right Part ofwhat I want to talk about.
Brandon, you said that therewas a lot of conversation that
happened.
I feel like it could be helpfulfor us to share.
Say it calm stations, oh 100%.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
I can tell you right off the bat.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
No Like, oh y'all that, close y'all that
Something's happening.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I think.
I think This kind of goes likewe intersect at a particular
point in life where we weretalking on our channel about
Marriage community, because Ithink y'all felt the same way
that we have been feeling foryears, which is, we aren't
seeing out of eye on particularthings and it's just my side and
her side.
There's no third party.
(09:10):
We're not.
We didn't go to counseling oranything not nothing wrong with
counseling, but we just didn'tgo, yeah, and so we don't feel
like we have Anyone to talk toto provide a non-biased
perspective, mm-hmm, on ourmarriage.
People that we trust, someonethat we trust that can say, hey,
i know you and I love you, butyou're tripping like we didn't
have that, and so we actuallyprovided that for each other,
(09:33):
and so once we kind of saw thatwe had that, i think all of us
were like yo, i don't want tolet that go, because you was,
you kind of have my back.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Everybody's versus.
I think I think the thing thatmakes this thing work.
I want to kind of back up tolike Don't make it from the mic
though My bad.
So before we, before we even getto like us existing together as
couples, i think that there isa mutual love and respect that
we have for each other asindividuals that, i think,
(10:03):
colors and Governs how we relateto each other in this
relationship.
You understand and so I lovebranding as my, i must say, like
a, like a marilander, aBaltimorean, a brother.
Um, i love charrette as mysister and I obviously love my
wife.
Well, not obviously becausesome dudes don't be loving it.
Why so?
I'm just.
(10:23):
That's a whole different preacha whole sermon Um, but I do like
I love y'all as individuals andthen I love y'all as a couple
and I really care about Thehealth and the well-being of
your relationship and I'm nevergoing to do anything to try to
compromise that.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Absolutely right, Absolutely And so.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I think that I do think that just as a tip, i
think if the if there is a wayin which Come on, sorry, i'm
(11:15):
gonna say as a relationship heck, um, i do think it is necessary
to Have a have an individuallove and respect for the people
that you're in a relationshipwith, because I think then that
gives you a love and respect forthe couple.
You know what I mean.
Um, i think that We have beendeveloping this relationship for
years at this point, right, um,and so we are kind of in a
(11:38):
different place than most peopleprobably going to begin, um,
but there's a lot of things thatwe've done to try to make sure
that we facilitate That thisdoesn't become anything other
than what it should be.
And a part of that conversationis hard conversations.
You know what I'm saying.
So let's sit down and say whatare y'all boundaries as a couple
for us, what are our boundarieswith y'all as a couple for us?
(11:59):
Like, what are we comfortablewith, what are you not
comfortable with?
and having that conversation,you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
What you're looking at Um.
Do we have boundaries?
Yeah, I think we do.
We, i think I don't know thatwe've spoken to boundaries.
I think we kind of like we are,we're so close that we kind of
know.
You know, i'm not saying thatwe can't speak them, i'm just
saying we are Mature and smartenough to know what some of the
obvious boundaries are.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
I think for us, if I had to add anything like obvious
, i was like get it up, get itup.
Okay, i hate y'all, you ready.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
We're gonna jump right over there.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I think for us, anything that's more obvious is
like just respect of time.
We always want to hang out, butsometimes for us we need the
time To ourselves.
Like we'll say like hey, likewe're not hanging out this week,
um, and vice versa, or or Wejust don't hear from each other.
You know so sometimes for us,the boundary is We, as a married
(13:06):
couple, need space to work onus, because the weekend, you
know, we're all busy throughoutthe week, so the weekend becomes
a time of.
Whatever, you know whether it'sfun or building, or doing the
work or whatever it is in themarriage.
There are times and where wehave Friday nights or Saturdays
where we kind of just need thatAnd I feel like we respect that
boundary for each other.
(13:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, and I think what I was saying was More so, i
think, because there is kind ofan intuitiveness about how we
all do this For y'all though youmight have to have some
conversations For sure, yeah,got you.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So one of the things I would say is, as far as
boundaries are concerned and Ithink I, i think I told all of
you guys this It's one of thethings that Brandon and I don't
do is we don't bring up Issuesor problems or anything in this
group that we haven't talkedabout first.
Yeah, Yeah um and I think thatblind spouting, No blind
(14:03):
spouting exactly, and I thinkthat that keeps, whether it's as
like together, or even if ifbrand is like Hey, I need to
talk to me again alone, LikeIt's something that he's already
brought to my attention andmaybe we just can't see eye to
eye on.
And then he's like okay, I'vetalked to Shiree about this and
maybe I'm coming about it thewrong way or whatever.
(14:24):
I need a wife's opinion orwhatever the case may be.
And then another thing is wedon't keep secret when we talk
to one another.
We always let each other knowlike hey, I'm talking to J, I'm
talking to Megan, I'm talking toBrandon Shiree, whatever the
case may be.
And I think that just thetransparency keeps things just
like right on the table.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think the point of this wasto really tell everybody that
there is a real beauty andbenefit to opposite sex
relationships when they are notsexualized You know what I mean
When they are not kind of, whenthere's like a line that's not
(15:07):
being crossed.
The beauty is men and womenreally are different.
You know what I mean, and theway that we process as men and
women is different.
I think the beauty of thisrelationship is you have a man
who's assertive and a womanwho's assertive, with a woman
who's loyal and a man who'sloyal, and we get to kind of
(15:27):
pair off and be for each other,something that our spouses can't
be for us, which by the way, isa whole other conversation.
Don't be out here thinking don'tbe out here thinking it's about
to be everything for you.
That is literally impossible.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
That's literally the whole conversation.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
That's a whole podcast right there.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Cause they not, so you can let that go Next week on
Lord.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Rex.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
So anyway, I think the beginning of this
conversation is saying look atus, it is actually possible You
not gonna see us in 10 days andsomething then fell apart.
That's not what it's gonna be.
We have done the work, asBrandon said, to make sure that
this doesn't become anythingother than what it is, And I
think the other element thaty'all don't get to see is we
have six kids between the fourof us and we have an opportunity
(16:12):
to show our kids that this ispossible for them in their
adulthood That it doesn't haveto be.
You're always attracted tosomebody of the opposite sex.
Yeah, actually you could justhave a friendship with them and
it can be a really beneficialthing.
So any final thoughts on thishere topic.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I would say there may be couples out there who don't
have like what we have.
As far as I'm literally bestfriends with Megan and she's
best friend with me, brandon andJaya best friends.
But there may be someone thathas an opposite sex best friend,
that your spouse isn't bestfriends with their spouse.
(16:50):
So I will just say one of thethings that motivates me to want
Brandon and Megan to have abest friend is I see how much
she brings to this table.
I see how much she can help myhusband You know what I'm saying
And to see the value in thatallows me to want that
(17:11):
relationship to work.
You know what I'm saying And soI feel like, even if your
spouse isn't best friends withyour best friend spouse, as long
as you're bringing everybodytogether so that everybody can
see you benefit from this bestfriend, yep.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
It's worth you having this best friend.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
It helps us.
I think it'll help.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
And I think too, on the flip side of that as well, i
feel like when you have acouple like you guys, that's
like, hey, i want y'all to work,then she and I can go off, or
you and I can go off and haveconversations, and you're whole
demeanor.
Even if I wanted to say, yo,you're right, but Tripp, you'll
still ground me and like, buty'all got to find a way to work,
(17:59):
bro.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Okay, because that's the thing We will even fight.
So Megan and I are married, butI'm a fight for their marriage,
absolutely.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
You understand Like you're not.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I'm never going to let my brother be out here like
doing anything that is going tosabotage the good gift that God
has given him in this marriage,and the same thing for my sister
.
Like I'm never going to letthat happen, and I think that a
lot of people need to hear thatThat you actually so.
You said you use the wordsmarriage community.
You need people who are goingto fight for your marriage, like
you.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yes, And you mean sometimes more than your family.
Yes, because sometimes it'sgoing to be weak.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Come on somebody, Yes , And so I think that there is a
.
I keep saying this, but I thinkthat there's a real benefit to
community.
It really is the way that Godmeant the world to work.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Yeah, I mean it just is Absolutely Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
So yeah, I think this is good.
I think we're going to have toat least do another episode like
this We can really get intoreally get into a lot more
details of what this can looklike, but we want you to know
that it actually can't happenand it really can work.
You know what I'm saying.
All right, moving on totrending topics.
Okay, new York is sinking, i'msorry.
what, what?
Speaker 3 (19:09):
What I did not.
Are you saying like sinkingdeep in sin?
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Like whoa, How are you sinking deep in sin?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
No, no, no, no Okay.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
See, that's that assertiveness that we get in
camera.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
I'm not going to say that, like, what you ain't going
to do is sing on this podcast,and what you ain't going to do
is tell me what to do.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
That's what you're not going to do.
New.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
York City is actually sinking.
They're studying it and thecity itself.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Is it too many people ?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
No, so it seems like it's people and buildings.
So the research here they havethey have more than one million
buildings.
They amass nearly 1.7 trillionpounds.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Crazy Is it because they're mostly an island?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
So wow.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So it's only by?
they say it's only by one ortwo millimeters a year, Wow.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Who's I'm sorry, who's measuring Right?
Who has the time, bro?
Speaker 4 (20:04):
What are you doing And how?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
is it?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
affecting steps Like are you going to step?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
out in one day and just go down and open it.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Y'all ever seen those videos on Facebook where they
put Styrofoam into the cement toraise it up?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
They're going to have to do it.
The whole deal.
Just get those guys.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Just get those guys from the whole city.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
So they're saying over the last 10 years it has
sunk 10 millimeters.
And someone is out therechecking it.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Literally.
First off, how many millimetersis in an inch?
Do you know that, that's?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
the girl.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It's 2.5 centimeters in an inch.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
That's not helpful.
I need inches.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
There's a thousand millimeters in a centimeter, so
is that?
like 0.25 maybe.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
That is outrageous to be calculating this.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
So why are you calculating?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
that There's 16 millimeters in an inch.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Okay, And it's two inches two millimeters per year.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
That says milliliter, not millimeter.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Why are you in milliliters?
Wow, my bad Thirsty.
So I remember seeing an articlethat was talking about a
building in New York that wasalso 25.4.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I had the numbers right.
I had the decimal point wrong.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
So in New York.
There's also buildings thatthey talk about that are because
of the sinking or actuallyleaning, and they say I'm not
joking.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You can look it up.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
There are buildings in New York that are actually
leaning, and so my thing isthat's now public knowledge.
If I work there, i'm putting inmy two weeks, so that's what I
was going to say.
I don't know why.
we're still working here, Sothe elevator that was going up
is kind of going like what do Imean?
Speaker 3 (21:36):
But how?
but for how much It's?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
like 10 to 20 years.
It's going to be a whole likeseveral inches leaning, And so
they're going to have to do.
They say, oh, we have time, I'mstill putting in my two weeks.
Y'all tell me when it'sfinished and then I'll come back
.
But the building is basicallylike you can't tell by looking
at it, But over time it's goingto start leaning because people
aren't going to stop moving toNew York.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
No, I'm going to stop having babies in New York.
People aren't going to stopbuilding in New York, so that
one to two inches right nowcould be more.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
They are projecting.
Oh my gosh 7.9 to 23.6 inchesby 2050.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
Well, i have to keep them back on your beard.
That's true, we gonna be allthe way.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Everybody's like that's their problem.
That ain't right.
They want me underground.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Who cares if you're New Yorkers underwater, i'm
underground, it's the same lunchand you quit a job, do you
really clean your desk?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
No, that's somebody else's problem.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
That's absolutely insane.
They were saying the same thingabout California, though
because of all the the what'sthe names, the earthquakes and
stuff, they said that likeCalifornia might break off.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
They were saying that for Florida too.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Can you imagine just like being at home and all?
Speaker 4 (22:51):
of that.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
California is an island, and then you're just out
in the oceans.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
They have the creative bridge.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
What if?
Speaker 4 (22:59):
you on the border and you see the break and you're
just like, oh my God, yeah,that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Apparently, this is like a real threat to all
coastal cities.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yes, yes, that's crazy.
And going by that math, in 30years it could be two feet, like
that's a lot That issignificant.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Actually, that's a lot Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
But then you know, pardon me, you know part my
brain Like bigger beaches.
No, but one thing is that, likeI feel like, is this new?
Like, is this like how long?
Yeah, i feel like y'all,probably they knew this in the
80s, Like when all of my otherbuildings got built, it was, i'm
sure it was the thing.
And then it was like are you?
Speaker 2 (23:36):
moving to New York.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
No, I'm not.
No, I was a bunch of developerslike yo.
let's see if we can sync NewYork.
Yeah, Why?
Speaker 3 (23:43):
It's a conspiracy, but because they are building up
.
They're building up everywhere.
You got nowhere else to build.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
I hope you know on that first floor.
Just saying.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
No way, that's true.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Anywho, I just thought that was very
interesting.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
That's very interesting, very interesting to
talk about.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
All right, let's, let's, let's do a little
parenting hack.
Oh my gosh, y'all ready.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
So tell your kids how you experience them.
So here's what I mean Kids arefaithful to tell you how they
experience you Always.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
You hurt my feelings.
I'm with their babies.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, you hurt my feelings, you're being mean, and
it's like I think we need tonormalize the culture where
parents get to tell their kidswhat they experienced from them
too, Because the reality is,parents are human, they're not
just parents.
So I had a conversation withone of my kids the other day,
who shall remain nameless, butsaid person has been denying me
(24:43):
hugs.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Okay, i'm sure we can guess.
And I said to said person.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
There's going to come a day that I'm going to ask for
one.
You're going to say no, andit's going to be the last time
I'm going to ask for one.
So I just wanted to hear yourthoughts on, like, how do y'all
feel about telling your kids howyou experienced them?
Obviously, i'm on board fordoing it, so what do y'all think
?
Speaker 4 (25:04):
No, i'm absolutely on board for doing it because I
feel like one of the things thatwe want for our kids is we
don't want them to experiencethat for the first time like out
in the world with a friend orclassmate And it's like oh, no
one's ever told me that I dothat to them.
Nope, your parents haveabsolutely told you that they
(25:25):
are selfish, or?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
you are like we've, we do Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
You need to know that .
You need to be surprised whenyou get a roommate in college
and they tell you exactly whoyou are.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, i agree.
I think that and I I think youguys have talked about this on
your channel We are honest withour kids, because I feel like no
one else is going to be ashonest with our children And
we're the ones who know them themost.
So, promoting like true honestyof like I see how you're
(25:57):
growing, i see who you'redeveloping into And God has
given us our kids to stew withthem.
If there's something that I'mexperiencing and I don't tell
them, like how does it benefitthem?
Yeah, like I need to tell youbecause, as you get older, if
this is something that peopleeventually start to experience
with you and, like Brandon said,and they've never been told
(26:19):
like it's, it's worse becausethey'll be older and I'm like
I'm trying to correct thisbehavior, like they can't do it.
So the younger you are, themore honest we are with you.
It's easier at least.
At least you know, you've beenhearing it for years.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
So I think for me real quick.
I'm sure you probably cut hereHow long are the oven?
I know I was about to go like20 something minutes or more No
smoke.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Is there something in there?
Yeah, chicken nuggets and fries.
Oh okay, how bad is it.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
You know what's funny .
Speaker 1 (26:53):
You know, what's funny is?
we were recording and I waslike why do I smell chicken?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
I know, because I thought that you were preheating
and I didn't know that it waslike in there.
Yeah, my turn.
Yeah, this is me talking.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
So I think for me, i don't want to resent my kids
Like I want to actually like mykids And if I am continuously
experiencing something from oneor more of my children, i'm
going to end up bitter, i'mgoing to end up not liking them
And they will feel that.
Yes, exactly, and I want my.
I want to have a greatrelationship with my kids in
(27:28):
every season of life.
Yes, so when they're teenagersand when they're young adults
and when they're, you know, momsand dads and all the things.
I want to have a greatrelationship.
And if that resentment isn'tchecked now, if I can't tell
them now what I'm experiencingand we can work through it, then
I'm afraid I don't know abouty'all, but I'm afraid I'm not
going to like my kids.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
No, I'm not going to.
I agree with that.
I don't have to agree with that.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
So the moral to this story is tell y'all kids what
you feel about them, just likethey be telling you what you
feel, what they feel about you.
If you're scared to do that,buck up, pal, and get it done.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Absolutely Cause somebody's going to tell them.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Mmm, hmm, i'll buck up.
Not as well be you.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
It's true.
Yeah.
Why don't people say, all right, we're going to move on?
No, tangents.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
You know me, I'm like why don't you say buck?
up When did that come from?
Anyhow, this has been thelawyer in the sort of podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Thank y'all so much for joining us.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
How did y'all feel about this Love it Feels great.
Are we going to do this again?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Great.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
What did she say?
No, it was you.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Feels great, feels great.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
Feels amazing.
Are we stopping?
Yes, we, oh wow.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
I never wanted to stop.
Oh, my lord.
Okay, bye guys.
We love y'all, appreciate y'all.
Bye, bye.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
What's wrong?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
with y'all The camera .
too much of a homelessnessstyle.
Straighten me up Start out.
What's up everybody?
welcome back to the Lawyer andthe Soda podcast.
My name is Jay.
I'm Megan and, as you can see,we have some special guests here
with us today, and I'm gonnalet them introduce themselves.
You go right ahead.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
I'm Rhea and I'm Brandon, that's all y'all gonna
say And you're watching, right?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I heard it too.
I heard it too, so you'rewatching.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Oh no, so this is gonna be bad.
So it's nothing but laughter, iknow, but this is good.
I feel like the world gets tosee who we actually are in real
life.
So this is the Lawyer and theSoda podcast.
We are Jay and Megan.
Wow, we are.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Jay and.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Megan, and we are here with more love.
So we're gonna put their littlething down about, to make sure
they all watch their thing too.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Yes, please, please.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
All right, so we are called the Lawyer and the Soda
podcast, and that also matchesour best friends, which I'd like
to tell them.
why that matches y'all?
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Because, I'm loyal And I'm definitely a service.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Yes, she is, i'm a somebody.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
So we have been talking about doing this for a
long time and I felt like now isthe time, you know what I'm
saying 2023 is our year 2023 isme What?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
does that even mean, i feel like the last time
somebody claimed a year was 2020.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
So we're gonna begin today with a segment that we
call Wild Thoughts, and the WildThought for today is opposite
sex friendships don't have to besexualized.
Who wants that?
I didn't hit the mic, brandon.
I'm sorry.
It's gonna be bad for theaudience.
It was my head from.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I'll start.
I feel like I'll just start bysaying what everybody has
thought.
I think a lot of people thinkthat if you are best friends
with someone of the opposite sex, eventually it is going to
become sexual, because bestfriends are very vulnerable with
one another And you're sharingyourself, i guess intimately,
(02:10):
with someone else.
then obviously there's gonna befeelings and I'm like but does
it have to be that way?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Yeah, that's a really good question.
I feel like we've all had ourown journey with this, because
of us.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, i think that there is areal way in which God meant for
men and women to exist together,even beyond the boundaries of
like marriage.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I'm saying I think, because we do live in a very
sexualized culture.
I think it makes it difficultfor people to even kind of
conceive how that can be a thing.
And the reality is, amongst thefour of us we've had to figure
out how that is a thing.
You know what I mean.
But I think, ultimately, ithink it takes a lot of maturity
, yeah, very much so.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But I also think that media doesn't help.
Think about how many moviesthere are out there with the
premise that they were bestfriends and fell in love and
didn't even know.
So I think some of it isn'tjust the over sexualizing.
I think some of it is.
This is what media teaches us.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, brandy, do you have anything you want to say?
Because I wanted to saysomething else.
No, go ahead.
I think that a big element ofthis is trust.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Right, so not the oven beeping while I'm talking
Real life.
So I think that there has to bea trust between you.
Let me zoom out a little bit.
So we are married, but whatabout people who aren't married,
right?
So there needs to be a trustbetween you and the other person
that this relationship canactually exist in the friend
(03:48):
space without feeling like theother person is going to
sexualize with the relationship.
I think in a marriage context Ithink there's a lot of
different angles of trust.
So I think her and I have tohave a certain level of trust
with one another to allow her torelate to you, me to relate to
her and vice versa.
So why do you think so manypeople don't trust in that
(04:12):
capacity?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
So I will say this, and Brandon and I have talked
about this on our channel aswell, so Ah, come on, man.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Ah, come on Flo.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
But I will say so.
I feel like when people areabout to get married, they bring
in their best friends orwhatever the case may be, and
they don't communicate withtheir spouse.
You know what I'm saying.
They don't say, hey, this issuch and such, this is my best
friend, yada, yada, yada.
It's like they separate theworlds and so, for instance, if
(04:45):
I have a male best friend, i'mnot bringing him around.
My husband, you know what I'msaying.
It's like me and my husband,and then me and my best friend,
and it's separate.
And so my husband's like who'sdude?
Oh, he's my best friend.
And then, if I ever get into anargument with Brandon, i'm
running to my best friend, andthen it's like this I guess
weird dichotomy, you know whatI'm saying?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Come on Ben word.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
You know what I'm saying And I think that it can
definitely create animositybetween my best friend, my
husband like all that stuffbecause there's like a
separation instead of bringingit together.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Yeah, I think that the whole marriage part of it.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
It was her.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
What are we doing?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Because I know what she's laughing at.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
I do too.
I'm like, would you just beprofessional and just move on No
.
So this is how it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
It was the you moving on.
That's what he and me laughed.
You know what's even funnier,what's that?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
This is what she does .
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
It was like looking at her, but in a black man body.
Bro, you got to be kidding me.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
So what I was going to say is when it comes to the
way I think culture looks atstuff, like I think you said,
jay is definitely kind of goingoff of movies, music basically
like, what are the writers inHollywood saying?
You're not actually just lookingat what's in front of you and
just being honest and matureabout it.
(06:24):
I think for us, one of thethings that works is we were
already married when we startedreally opening up and being
mature and really trying toestablish what we have going on.
And I think what makes thiswork in the many connections
that we have is that we had alot of connections with the four
(06:46):
of us, like lots ofconversations, like we did that
a lot before there was thebreaking off.
Yes, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes, So I think what it is is there's respect.
I think respect for the marriedrelationship, There's respect
for the friend relationship.
There's just mutual respect allaround, which I think, Sharay,
you are alluding to.
there's a lack of respect whenyou're breaking off and having
those conversations and notallowing your spouse to be a
(07:13):
part of that.
But I think if you can haverespect to say, hey, I want to
be a part of this, you can trustme.
or even respect to say, like,shut up, Wait.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Are we going to get through?
this Is the way that the namesjust swallow.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Is that what it was?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I'm all.
Is that what it was?
OK, i thought it would makesure I knew what it is.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
How much cutting are you doing.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
This is actually a great place to pause, because I
realized I didn't actually pressrecord.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
No, What Oh on the.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Oh, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
So we're just going to get this angle here.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
That's fine.
I said I realized I didn'tpress record.
Like so, hi, but here's thething You already know, i
appreciate that you are willingto stop and start it as opposed
to just going.
Oh well, it's no big deal.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
No, no, no, No, no, no.
My brain won't let it go.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Even if half of the time or something shoot, i'll
start over All right.
Hi, i'm Brandon And these arethe temptations.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Not these.
So part of what I want to talkabout.
Y'all probably just seen ushave like a clip in the episode,
but here we are, right Part ofwhat I want to talk about.
Brandon, you said that therewas a lot of conversation that
happened.
I feel like it could be helpfulfor us to share.
Say it calm stations, oh 100%.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
I can tell you right off the bat.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
No Like, oh y'all that, close y'all that
Something's happening.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I think.
I think This kind of goes likewe intersect at a particular
point in life where we weretalking on our channel about
Marriage community, because Ithink y'all felt the same way
that we have been feeling foryears, which is, we aren't
seeing out of eye on particularthings and it's just my side and
her side.
There's no third party.
(09:10):
We're not.
We didn't go to counseling oranything not nothing wrong with
counseling, but we just didn'tgo, yeah, and so we don't feel
like we have Anyone to talk toto provide a non-biased
perspective, mm-hmm, on ourmarriage.
People that we trust, someonethat we trust that can say, hey,
i know you and I love you, butyou're tripping like we didn't
have that, and so we actuallyprovided that for each other,
(09:33):
and so once we kind of saw thatwe had that, i think all of us
were like yo, i don't want tolet that go, because you was,
you kind of have my back.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Everybody's versus.
I think I think the thing thatmakes this thing work.
I want to kind of back up tolike Don't make it from the mic
though My bad.
So before we, before we even getto like us existing together as
couples, i think that there isa mutual love and respect that
we have for each other asindividuals that, i think,
(10:03):
colors and Governs how we relateto each other in this
relationship.
You understand and so I lovebranding as my, i must say, like
a, like a marilander, aBaltimorean, a brother.
Um, i love charrette as mysister and I obviously love my
wife.
Well, not obviously becausesome dudes don't be loving it.
Why so?
I'm just.
(10:23):
That's a whole different preacha whole sermon Um, but I do like
I love y'all as individuals andthen I love y'all as a couple
and I really care about Thehealth and the well-being of
your relationship and I'm nevergoing to do anything to try to
compromise that.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Absolutely right, Absolutely And so.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I think that I do think that just as a tip, i
think if the if there is a wayin which Come on, sorry, i'm
(11:15):
gonna say as a relationship heck, um, i do think it is necessary
to Have a have an individuallove and respect for the people
that you're in a relationshipwith, because I think then that
gives you a love and respect forthe couple.
You know what I mean.
Um, i think that We have beendeveloping this relationship for
years at this point, right, um,and so we are kind of in a
(11:38):
different place than most peopleprobably going to begin, um,
but there's a lot of things thatwe've done to try to make sure
that we facilitate That thisdoesn't become anything other
than what it should be.
And a part of that conversationis hard conversations.
You know what I'm saying.
So let's sit down and say whatare y'all boundaries as a couple
for us, what are our boundarieswith y'all as a couple for us?
(11:59):
Like, what are we comfortablewith, what are you not
comfortable with?
and having that conversation,you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
What you're looking at Um.
Do we have boundaries?
Yeah, I think we do.
We, i think I don't know thatwe've spoken to boundaries.
I think we kind of like we are,we're so close that we kind of
know.
You know, i'm not saying thatwe can't speak them, i'm just
saying we are Mature and smartenough to know what some of the
obvious boundaries are.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
I think for us, if I had to add anything like obvious
, i was like get it up, get itup.
Okay, i hate y'all, you ready.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
We're gonna jump right over there.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I think for us, anything that's more obvious is
like just respect of time.
We always want to hang out, butsometimes for us we need the
time To ourselves.
Like we'll say like hey, likewe're not hanging out this week,
um, and vice versa, or or Wejust don't hear from each other.
You know so sometimes for us,the boundary is We, as a married
(13:06):
couple, need space to work onus, because the weekend, you
know, we're all busy throughoutthe week, so the weekend becomes
a time of.
Whatever, you know whether it'sfun or building, or doing the
work or whatever it is in themarriage.
There are times and where wehave Friday nights or Saturdays
where we kind of just need thatAnd I feel like we respect that
boundary for each other.
(13:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, and I think what I was saying was More so, i
think, because there is kind ofan intuitiveness about how we
all do this For y'all though youmight have to have some
conversations For sure, yeah,got you.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So one of the things I would say is, as far as
boundaries are concerned and Ithink I, i think I told all of
you guys this It's one of thethings that Brandon and I don't
do is we don't bring up Issuesor problems or anything in this
group that we haven't talkedabout first.
Yeah, Yeah um and I think thatblind spouting, No blind
(14:03):
spouting exactly, and I thinkthat that keeps, whether it's as
like together, or even if ifbrand is like Hey, I need to
talk to me again alone, LikeIt's something that he's already
brought to my attention andmaybe we just can't see eye to
eye on.
And then he's like okay, I'vetalked to Shiree about this and
maybe I'm coming about it thewrong way or whatever.
(14:24):
I need a wife's opinion orwhatever the case may be.
And then another thing is wedon't keep secret when we talk
to one another.
We always let each other knowlike hey, I'm talking to J, I'm
talking to Megan, I'm talking toBrandon Shiree, whatever the
case may be.
And I think that just thetransparency keeps things just
like right on the table.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think the point of this wasto really tell everybody that
there is a real beauty andbenefit to opposite sex
relationships when they are notsexualized You know what I mean
When they are not kind of, whenthere's like a line that's not
(15:07):
being crossed.
The beauty is men and womenreally are different.
You know what I mean, and theway that we process as men and
women is different.
I think the beauty of thisrelationship is you have a man
who's assertive and a womanwho's assertive, with a woman
who's loyal and a man who'sloyal, and we get to kind of
(15:27):
pair off and be for each other,something that our spouses can't
be for us, which by the way, isa whole other conversation.
Don't be out here thinking don'tbe out here thinking it's about
to be everything for you.
That is literally impossible.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
That's literally the whole conversation.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
That's a whole podcast right there.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Cause they not, so you can let that go Next week on
Lord.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Rex.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
So anyway, I think the beginning of this
conversation is saying look atus, it is actually possible You
not gonna see us in 10 days andsomething then fell apart.
That's not what it's gonna be.
We have done the work, asBrandon said, to make sure that
this doesn't become anythingother than what it is, And I
think the other element thaty'all don't get to see is we
have six kids between the fourof us and we have an opportunity
(16:12):
to show our kids that this ispossible for them in their
adulthood That it doesn't haveto be.
You're always attracted tosomebody of the opposite sex.
Yeah, actually you could justhave a friendship with them and
it can be a really beneficialthing.
So any final thoughts on thishere topic.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I would say there may be couples out there who don't
have like what we have.
As far as I'm literally bestfriends with Megan and she's
best friend with me, brandon andJaya best friends.
But there may be someone thathas an opposite sex best friend,
that your spouse isn't bestfriends with their spouse.
(16:50):
So I will just say one of thethings that motivates me to want
Brandon and Megan to have abest friend is I see how much
she brings to this table.
I see how much she can help myhusband You know what I'm saying
And to see the value in thatallows me to want that
(17:11):
relationship to work.
You know what I'm saying And soI feel like, even if your
spouse isn't best friends withyour best friend spouse, as long
as you're bringing everybodytogether so that everybody can
see you benefit from this bestfriend, yep.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
It's worth you having this best friend.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
It helps us.
I think it'll help.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
And I think too, on the flip side of that as well, i
feel like when you have acouple like you guys, that's
like, hey, i want y'all to work,then she and I can go off, or
you and I can go off and haveconversations, and you're whole
demeanor.
Even if I wanted to say, yo,you're right, but Tripp, you'll
still ground me and like, buty'all got to find a way to work,
(17:59):
bro.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Okay, because that's the thing We will even fight.
So Megan and I are married, butI'm a fight for their marriage,
absolutely.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
You understand Like you're not.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I'm never going to let my brother be out here like
doing anything that is going tosabotage the good gift that God
has given him in this marriage,and the same thing for my sister
.
Like I'm never going to letthat happen, and I think that a
lot of people need to hear thatThat you actually so.
You said you use the wordsmarriage community.
You need people who are goingto fight for your marriage, like
you.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yes, And you mean sometimes more than your family.
Yes, because sometimes it'sgoing to be weak.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Come on somebody, Yes , And so I think that there is a
.
I keep saying this, but I thinkthat there's a real benefit to
community.
It really is the way that Godmeant the world to work.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Yeah, I mean it just is Absolutely Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
So yeah, I think this is good.
I think we're going to have toat least do another episode like
this We can really get intoreally get into a lot more
details of what this can looklike, but we want you to know
that it actually can't happenand it really can work.
You know what I'm saying.
All right, moving on totrending topics.
Okay, new York is sinking, i'msorry.
what, what?
Speaker 3 (19:09):
What I did not.
Are you saying like sinkingdeep in sin?
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Like whoa, How are you sinking deep in sin?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
No, no, no, no Okay.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
See, that's that assertiveness that we get in
camera.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
I'm not going to say that, like, what you ain't going
to do is sing on this podcast,and what you ain't going to do
is tell me what to do.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
That's what you're not going to do.
New.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
York City is actually sinking.
They're studying it and thecity itself.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Is it too many people ?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
No, so it seems like it's people and buildings.
So the research here they havethey have more than one million
buildings.
They amass nearly 1.7 trillionpounds.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Crazy Is it because they're mostly an island?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
So wow.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So it's only by?
they say it's only by one ortwo millimeters a year, Wow.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Who's I'm sorry, who's measuring Right?
Who has the time, bro?
Speaker 4 (20:04):
What are you doing And how?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
is it?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
affecting steps Like are you going to step?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
out in one day and just go down and open it.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Y'all ever seen those videos on Facebook where they
put Styrofoam into the cement toraise it up?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
They're going to have to do it.
The whole deal.
Just get those guys.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Just get those guys from the whole city.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
So they're saying over the last 10 years it has
sunk 10 millimeters.
And someone is out therechecking it.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Literally.
First off, how many millimetersis in an inch?
Do you know that, that's?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
the girl.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It's 2.5 centimeters in an inch.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
That's not helpful.
I need inches.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
There's a thousand millimeters in a centimeter, so
is that?
like 0.25 maybe.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
That is outrageous to be calculating this.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
So why are you calculating?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
that There's 16 millimeters in an inch.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Okay, And it's two inches two millimeters per year.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
That says milliliter, not millimeter.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Why are you in milliliters?
Wow, my bad Thirsty.
So I remember seeing an articlethat was talking about a
building in New York that wasalso 25.4.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I had the numbers right.
I had the decimal point wrong.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
So in New York.
There's also buildings thatthey talk about that are because
of the sinking or actuallyleaning, and they say I'm not
joking.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You can look it up.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
There are buildings in New York that are actually
leaning, and so my thing isthat's now public knowledge.
If I work there, i'm putting inmy two weeks, so that's what I
was going to say.
I don't know why.
we're still working here, Sothe elevator that was going up
is kind of going like what do Imean?
Speaker 3 (21:36):
But how?
but for how much It's?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
like 10 to 20 years.
It's going to be a whole likeseveral inches leaning, And so
they're going to have to do.
They say, oh, we have time, I'mstill putting in my two weeks.
Y'all tell me when it'sfinished and then I'll come back
.
But the building is basicallylike you can't tell by looking
at it, But over time it's goingto start leaning because people
aren't going to stop moving toNew York.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
No, I'm going to stop having babies in New York.
People aren't going to stopbuilding in New York, so that
one to two inches right nowcould be more.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
They are projecting.
Oh my gosh 7.9 to 23.6 inchesby 2050.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
Well, i have to keep them back on your beard.
That's true, we gonna be allthe way.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Everybody's like that's their problem.
That ain't right.
They want me underground.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Who cares if you're New Yorkers underwater, i'm
underground, it's the same lunchand you quit a job, do you
really clean your desk?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
No, that's somebody else's problem.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
That's absolutely insane.
They were saying the same thingabout California, though
because of all the the what'sthe names, the earthquakes and
stuff, they said that likeCalifornia might break off.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
They were saying that for Florida too.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Can you imagine just like being at home and all?
Speaker 4 (22:51):
of that.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
California is an island, and then you're just out
in the oceans.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
They have the creative bridge.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
What if?
Speaker 4 (22:59):
you on the border and you see the break and you're
just like, oh my God, yeah,that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Apparently, this is like a real threat to all
coastal cities.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yes, yes, that's crazy.
And going by that math, in 30years it could be two feet, like
that's a lot That issignificant.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Actually, that's a lot Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
But then you know, pardon me, you know part my
brain Like bigger beaches.
No, but one thing is that, likeI feel like, is this new?
Like, is this like how long?
Yeah, i feel like y'all,probably they knew this in the
80s, Like when all of my otherbuildings got built, it was, i'm
sure it was the thing.
And then it was like are you?
Speaker 2 (23:36):
moving to New York.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
No, I'm not.
No, I was a bunch of developerslike yo.
let's see if we can sync NewYork.
Yeah, Why?
Speaker 3 (23:43):
It's a conspiracy, but because they are building up
.
They're building up everywhere.
You got nowhere else to build.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
I hope you know on that first floor.
Just saying.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
No way, that's true.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Anywho, I just thought that was very
interesting.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
That's very interesting, very interesting to
talk about.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
All right, let's, let's, let's do a little
parenting hack.
Oh my gosh, y'all ready.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
So tell your kids how you experience them.
So here's what I mean Kids arefaithful to tell you how they
experience you Always.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
You hurt my feelings.
I'm with their babies.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, you hurt my feelings, you're being mean, and
it's like I think we need tonormalize the culture where
parents get to tell their kidswhat they experienced from them
too, Because the reality is,parents are human, they're not
just parents.
So I had a conversation withone of my kids the other day,
who shall remain nameless, butsaid person has been denying me
(24:43):
hugs.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Okay, i'm sure we can guess.
And I said to said person.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
There's going to come a day that I'm going to ask for
one.
You're going to say no, andit's going to be the last time
I'm going to ask for one.
So I just wanted to hear yourthoughts on, like, how do y'all
feel about telling your kids howyou experienced them?
Obviously, i'm on board fordoing it, so what do y'all think
?
Speaker 4 (25:04):
No, i'm absolutely on board for doing it because I
feel like one of the things thatwe want for our kids is we
don't want them to experiencethat for the first time like out
in the world with a friend orclassmate And it's like oh, no
one's ever told me that I dothat to them.
Nope, your parents haveabsolutely told you that they
(25:25):
are selfish, or?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
you are like we've, we do Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
You need to know that .
You need to be surprised whenyou get a roommate in college
and they tell you exactly whoyou are.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, i agree.
I think that and I I think youguys have talked about this on
your channel We are honest withour kids, because I feel like no
one else is going to be ashonest with our children And
we're the ones who know them themost.
So, promoting like true honestyof like I see how you're
(25:57):
growing, i see who you'redeveloping into And God has
given us our kids to stew withthem.
If there's something that I'mexperiencing and I don't tell
them, like how does it benefitthem?
Yeah, like I need to tell youbecause, as you get older, if
this is something that peopleeventually start to experience
with you and, like Brandon said,and they've never been told
(26:19):
like it's, it's worse becausethey'll be older and I'm like
I'm trying to correct thisbehavior, like they can't do it.
So the younger you are, themore honest we are with you.
It's easier at least.
At least you know, you've beenhearing it for years.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
So I think for me real quick.
I'm sure you probably cut hereHow long are the oven?
I know I was about to go like20 something minutes or more No
smoke.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Is there something in there?
Yeah, chicken nuggets and fries.
Oh okay, how bad is it.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
You know what's funny .
Speaker 1 (26:53):
You know, what's funny is?
we were recording and I waslike why do I smell chicken?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
I know, because I thought that you were preheating
and I didn't know that it waslike in there.
Yeah, my turn.
Yeah, this is me talking.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
So I think for me, i don't want to resent my kids
Like I want to actually like mykids And if I am continuously
experiencing something from oneor more of my children, i'm
going to end up bitter, i'mgoing to end up not liking them
And they will feel that.
Yes, exactly, and I want my.
I want to have a greatrelationship with my kids in
(27:28):
every season of life.
Yes, so when they're teenagersand when they're young adults
and when they're, you know, momsand dads and all the things.
I want to have a greatrelationship.
And if that resentment isn'tchecked now, if I can't tell
them now what I'm experiencingand we can work through it, then
I'm afraid I don't know abouty'all, but I'm afraid I'm not
going to like my kids.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
No, I'm not going to.
I agree with that.
I don't have to agree with that.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
So the moral to this story is tell y'all kids what
you feel about them, just likethey be telling you what you
feel, what they feel about you.
If you're scared to do that,buck up, pal, and get it done.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Absolutely Cause somebody's going to tell them.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Mmm, hmm, i'll buck up.
Not as well be you.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
It's true.
Yeah.
Why don't people say, all right, we're going to move on?
No, tangents.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
You know me, I'm like why don't you say buck?
up When did that come from?
Anyhow, this has been thelawyer in the sort of podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Thank y'all so much for joining us.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
How did y'all feel about this Love it Feels great.
Are we going to do this again?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Great.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
What did she say?
No, it was you.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Feels great, feels great.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
Feels amazing.
Are we stopping?
Yes, we, oh wow.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
I never wanted to stop.
Oh, my lord.
Okay, bye guys.
We love y'all, appreciate y'all.
Bye, bye.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
What's wrong?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
with y'all The camera .
too much of a homelessnessstyle.
Straighten me up Start out.
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