July 12, 2023 • 30 mins
What if a simple conversation could save your relationship? This episode promises to equip listeners with strategies to address past offenses and build intimacy in any type of relationship. We delve into the importance of self-reflection and how to broach sensitive topics with grace and patience, ensuring a safe space for open, honest communication. We discuss the dangers of unresolved issues and how they can breed resentment, damaging relationships over time.
Then, switching gears, we reflect on Patti LaBelle's legendary career and recent performance struggles during her tribute to Tina Turner. We discuss the challenges performers face, especially as they age, and the importance of preparation and teamwork. Despite the hiccups, we celebrate Patti LaBelle's resilience, grace under pressure, and her remarkable talent. Tune in for an insightful discussion about relationships, personal growth, and the world of entertainment.
Watch us here!!! https://www.youtube.com/@theloyalassertivepodcast
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
What's up everybody, welcome back to the lawyer in
the Everybody.
Welcome back to the lawyer anda certain podcast.
My name is Jane and I'm Megan.
They are radio and Brandon andwith y'all.
With who?
Oh Yes, they are, make sure youcheck them out.
But today we're actually gonnahop right in Ray, ahead
(00:33):
something that she wants to havea conversation.
I do, okay, so I have aquestion.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Let me pull it up.
This is a conversation I hadwith Brandon the other day and I
was like why don't we share?
So this is a scenario.
Okay, All right so let's say ahusband does something that
unknowingly offenses wife, butshe brushes it off as if it's
not a big deal.
You know it's not a big dealWhatever, but every so often the
thought keeps creeping backinto her head Like it.
(00:58):
Just you know, i'm saying so.
What does she do?
does she and this is likemonths after right Does she
initiate a conversation like,hey, you did such and such?
Hmm and it offended me.
I'm sorry.
Then ran up, or does she try tobrush it off herself, like this
has been three, four months?
whatever the case may be, shetried to brush it off.
(01:20):
It wasn't a big deal, but itdid offend her.
Should she bring it up becauseit's still something that she
thinks about, or should she justtry to find a way to let it go?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
So I'ma say bring it up me too.
I think How she brings it upmatters Mm-hmm, but I would say,
bring it up, because I thinkthat Sometimes I mean let's just
be on in any relationship, butI think more more specifically
in a spouse relationship, thereare things that your partner
does to offend you that justoften goes not talked about.
(01:53):
Yeah, and I think that Thethings that you don't talk about
can end up building resentmentand bitterness.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Those things that cause the divorce in my opinion.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, and so I would say, yes, you bring it up now
what that conversation is gonnalook like that's the thing.
I know you've been holding thisthing for a couple months, so
what we doing?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
No, but I think you bring it up, not in the heat of
discussion, okay, or an argumentlike you actually set aside
intentional time to bring it upand you acknowledge the time
length.
Hey, i know that it's been awhile This has been weighing on
me, but I do want to bring it upbecause it keeps surfacing.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yeah, i agree.
So for me, i feel like a Personfirst needs to, like reflect
why is this thing?
That wasn't that we decide tobrush off ourselves, because at
the time we thought you knowwhat it offended me, but it's
not a big deal, it's not a bigdeal, i'm gonna brush it off.
So, really, like, do theself-reflection first to figure
(02:55):
out why is it bothering you.
and if you can Resolve itwithin yourself, and fine.
but if you can't, then, likeyou said, talk to your spouse
and say, hey, you did this threemonths ago.
whatever, i tried to brush itoff, i did this self-reflection
(03:17):
and I know why it's bothering me, because I feel like something
that wasn't a big deal but stillstings or whatever.
it's probably rooted insomething else.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
I think you also need to have patience with the other
person.
If you're bringing this upthree months later, you gotta
have patience.
That that person's like are youkidding me?
Are we really still?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Especially if it wasn't a big deal.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Right If it's not as much of a big deal while we're
talking about it right now.
But I think there's a two-waystreet.
On one hand you gotta havepatience that I realized that I
didn't bring this up threemonths ago because I just kind
of brushed it off.
But at the same time you alsohave to understand that if you
are on the receiving end, youhave to kind of go okay.
well, this is not a person thatis trying to hide things from
(04:02):
me.
You know he or she actually didthe work.
I didn't think about the elementof that He or she actually did
try to do the work of forgettingabout it, but they couldn't.
So, as much as I might feellike yo, this is out of nowhere
and we have been past this, ishould probably have a little
grace and kind of go okay.
Well, because if it was me, iwould want the patience to do
like, hey, i'm not over it, ineed to talk about it, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
So Yeah, i think what you said is probably the bigger
element is that I think, yeah,i want to broaden this.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
What you said, not what I said, wait, He said and
and no what she said.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
I was like oh, welcome to smaller element, Wow
Did.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I say bigger element.
You did.
That's the one No.
We want to take No, but I dothink that I think and I want to
broaden this a little bitbecause it could be people
listening That's not couples.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Yep, they could be parents, they could be friends,
they could be siblings, co-workers.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So I do think that I think that all of us I actually
been thinking a lot about thislately, okay I think that all of
us have things, little thingsthat people do to irritate us,
that we don't talk about, And Ithink that I think that
oftentimes to your point whenyou said, like maybe you need to
dig a little bit deeper andfigure out what that thing is,
that is like triggering you.
(05:31):
Because, it can be something sosimple as, like, megan is a
fidgeter.
You know what I'm saying And Idon't want to be you.
Just stop yo.
It's getting on my nerves.
Just do it.
I just want you to stop.
How dare you, Megan?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Not that I was just fidgeting down below the table.
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Make down below.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
On the phone.
Okay, you said down below, justa hold up the pocket.
No, no, you're like, it wasn'tme, that's what you said Yes,
man, No, but but no for real.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I think that.
I think that oftentimes it'slike what is that thing and why
is that thing bothering me, Man?
why am I here and called one?
so he said three, two, one, one, two, three.
What the heck is bothering me?
You No, but I do think that,Yeah, I think this is a.
(06:22):
I think it's a validconversation, because being able
to kind of get to the heart ofa matter is something that I
think needs to happen at alltimes in conversations.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yes, this is kind of the surface level thing that
we're talking about, but here'sthe thing that is behind it.
So here's my question Whathappens if in the conversation,
you are discovering the thingthat's behind it and it's almost
catastrophic, like, and youdidn't realize, like the thing
that she was thinking?
Wow.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I think there's two things up for this show.
We're going to have to do apart two.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
No, just because you know, like you know, in
conversations, sometimes it'slike yo, i didn't even know that
was a thing, and now it's likea thing that we really got to
work through Right.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
But I think I think that's the purpose why you talk
to whoever it is, whether it'syour spouse or your friend or
your coworker.
That's the reason that you havethat conversation with them.
Sure, Do the work ahead of time.
You know you're having theconversation.
Even if you were resolved itwith you, you should still have
the conversation so that therecan be a greater level of
intimacy there to say, Hey, thisis a trigger for me, or Hey,
(07:29):
this reminds me of a pastexperience that I had, And I
just need you to know up frontthat this is what you're
encountering.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah, i think that it's important how and I think
you said this it's important howyou initiate the conversation,
because if you say, look, idon't know why, i'm still upset
about this very small thing thathappened, and as you're talking
, there is a like awakening towhy.
(07:56):
But I think if you start theconversation that way, then
maybe there could be a littlegrace.
Yeah, oh, i didn't know that.
that was the reason why.
you know what?
I'm saying But if you just comeup like guns blazing, like you
did this, and five months ago.
So I feel like it's importantto I do agree with you guys.
I think that you should neverhold on to something that's
(08:18):
bothering you.
If it's something that you'relike, oh, they did this, well,
it's not a big deal, i'm goingto go, but you can't Yeah, maybe
you have to do the work tofigure out why and then discuss
it with the person and hope thatthere can be.
Maybe it's not necessarily thatit did something wrong, but
it's something within you thatis triggered or is hurt because
(08:39):
of a past situation or whatever,and that needs to be talked out
.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
My question is what do y'all think makes us hesitant
about saying?
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Because vulnerability is uncomfortable.
To say that something that yousaid or something that you did
affected me means that I'mtelling you that you have power
over me for a great length oftime.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yes, It's something that could be insignificant.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
But that thing is triggered because of something
that happened in the pastinsecurity whatever, and then
inviting them into the processof discovering why That's huge.
Absolutely, but I feel like it'svery important.
I think this is something thata lot of couples I mean I know
this is not just for couples,it's for any kind of
(09:29):
relationship, but becauseBrandon and I deal with couples
and marriages and stuff likethat I think that a lot of
couples allow time to go onwhere this hurts and then you
dumb down your hurt And youallow time and time and there's
resentment and bitterness Andthen all of a sudden you explode
because you're not wise with.
Let me just talk it out andfigure it out, because maybe my
(09:52):
spouse wants to help me throughthis.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
And you know why you can't do that?
Because of the number one thingthat a lot of couples have the
shutdown factor.
I mean, think about it.
Somebody come at you withsomething from five months ago
and it's like, and you kind of,at first you're kind of like
whoa, what is it?
And then you know what, youknow what, yeah, whatever you
(10:16):
say, got you.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Understood.
I want to shut down.
I'm emotionally incoherent.
Yeah, i agree with that.
I think that it's interesting.
I'm not generally on that sideof things as the assortment on
your inside Not generally, but Ithink, yeah, i'm thinking, and
that's why I said general.
I said general.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I don't know.
But I'm saying I thinkeverybody has the capability
truly to assess something andkind of just check out And be
like you know what.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I can't do this right now.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah, whatever you say.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
And then it's not genuine, and I've done that
often with her.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
You know what I mean.
I don't know.
I know that.
I know that It's like yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
People tend to look at me as somebody who likes to
fight all the time, but that'snot really true.
There are times I enjoy it.
It's fine, but for the moment.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
It's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
But I think for me I'm not the person.
I don't want to fight withpeople I love.
You know what I'm saying And soI'm just not into that.
You know what I mean.
If I have to, i will, but it'snot something I'm pursuing.
You know what I mean.
I just want to look at one moreangle of this conversation.
What if you, because you postedof, like I've been holding this
thing and this person doesn'tknow What, if you are the spouse
(11:28):
or the friend or the siblingwho knows this person has
something against you thatthey're not saying?
They like living life is normal, but you know like something
about you.
I hate that.
Like what do you do?
I think the question is like,what do you do in that situation
?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
So I'm the kind of person I don't like
confrontation, but I definitelyrun towards it because I can't
live in that limbo.
So if I know I was turned upone day and I probably said
something that was a little toowhatever and I offended Megan or
something like that, i can'tjust live like that didn't
happen.
So I have to like, look, can we, how did you feel when I said
(12:06):
that, like something like I haveto bring it up because,
especially if I'm doing lifewith this person best friends,
marriage, work, companionship,whatever the case may be I can't
live in that uncomfortablespace because eventually it's
gonna come out and I don't wannadeal with.
I don't wanna be caught unawareor off guard.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
So I'm gonna walk towards it.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I'm gonna be like in front of it.
you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Yeah, Yeah, i'm with you.
I feel like the first thingthat I have to do is say have I
created an environment wherethat person can't feel
comfortable enough to say thatI've offended them?
So the first thing I'm gonna dois ask those questions Hey,
have I made a place here whereyou can't tell me what you
honestly think, honestly feel?
(12:50):
But I need to ask that to mebefore I can go to the other
person.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I don't know that I am.
I post this question because Idon't think I'm generally this
person.
I don't even know that.
I'm always thinking about thefact that I may have offended
somebody.
You know what.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I mean Like.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I'm not No, I'm sorry .
Not the co-signer, i was justagreeing with you, like
basically you be offended ifpeople are gonna sign you and be
thinking nothing about it.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
No, i just feel like you're the type of person, like
I said, what I said.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, and I think that like.
but here's what's interestingfor me In those moments of I
said what I said that don't bethe stuff that offend people.
It'd be stuff that like how didthat offend you?
Speaker 4 (13:31):
That, like the stuff that people end up bringing to
you.
It's the tone of how you saidsomething that you didn't even
me bad.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, i'm just like I don't know.
Like now, if I was trying to bea butt then like you would know
that, you would see, that youwould understand that.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
And most people crazy are not offended by that.
No, because it's just likewhatever.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
I know, that's the obvious.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
It's just JB and J, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
That's just JB.
Why is he smoking?
I don't know.
That's just JB and J Like.
Who's so cold you talking about?
He fixed cars.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Why you got fixed cars.
Hold on but he fixed cars andhe ain't got no LLC.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
He was like just bring it by after work.
Ah, just bring it by after work, why?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Lord JB and J.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yeah, you know, I just think for me, it's put me
in some uncomfortable situationsbecause, it's made me feel like
well then, who can I be then?
If I am, if I'm notintentionally trying to offend
you and I'm just being who I amand I'm offending you, it just
puts me in a world where I'mlike what do I do Now?
you?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
have to defend what you did and who you are.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yes, yes, and so it's like, and it's like who wants
to do that, though?
Speaker 4 (14:47):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I'm saying So.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
But in our scenario you have to see that sometimes
it's not you, It's not that youdid something wrong, that's the
thing.
Most times I think most times Iget offended because of prior
experiences.
That's it.
It's a trigger to somethingthat happened in my past that
makes me upset.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yes, i think that in situations like that we can't
always be quick to carry theweight of that.
Yes, because I'm like, if youoffended by that, i had nothing
to do with me.
You know what I'm saying.
So I have to put it back on youto say but why did that offend
you?
I don't want you to be offended, but why did that offend you?
(15:28):
Because of course you know Ididn't mean that as an offense.
You know what I'm saying, and Ifeel like a lot of people carry
that weight, and then they feellike, oh, well then I can't be
me, cause I'm living my life andbeing whatever And you offended
by me just being me, and a lotof times you're not offensive.
You know what I'm saying.
It's just them being offendedeven though I'm not causing an
(15:50):
offense.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
But I think that's where communication is so
important is because, hey, ihave these expectations.
Now I can communicate to you tosay, when you say this or when
you do this, it is a trigger forme.
So I'm laying out theexpectation that you don't do
this, or that you be mindfulthat when you do this, it's
going to come off as offensive,whether you mean it or not, for
(16:12):
sure.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, and I think that for personally, i have
these types of hours.
We didn't really launch intothe like they, loyal, we
assertive type thing, but Ithink for personality types like
ours, i think that there'stension in what you said, right?
So if something is not mine toown and Megan is very good when
I'm like talking about certainsituations if somebody has an
offense, if they feel offendedby me, she's good to be like yo.
(16:36):
This part is you, this part wasnot you.
You know what I mean.
Maybe none of this was you.
I think for an assertivepersonality type, it is possible
for you to not be wrong andstill apologize.
Yeah, that's good, and what Imean is like you're not
apologizing for doing somethingwrong.
You're apologizing that youhurt somebody that you didn't
mean to hurt.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Absolutely, and then from there.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I do think that it's a platform by which the person
can then say, hey, here's thething that I was really dealing
with And, like you said, yo,what's the like?
where's that coming from?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
And what?
Speaker 2 (17:09):
is this thing that you bring into the relationship,
that you feel like I did, butreally is something that's kind
of living in you that gottriggered.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, absolutely, i feel like, especially if an
assertive person comes off thatway, it creates the space for a
person to flush out why and howthey were feeling that way and
all that stuff.
But if an assertive person come, like you know whatever, like
they're not going to be free tolike flush through maybe some of
(17:40):
the trauma or some of thethings.
And, of course, to me in arelationship, in any kind of
relationship, in a relationship,you should want to be able to
be a help to the people.
that you're around to createbetter space, And so if
something that I did unknowinglyunearthed something, then let
me help you.
I'm not.
I don't want to create evenmore offense because I'm
(18:02):
creating an environment whereyou feel like you can't share.
You know what.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I'm saying Yeah, yeah .
Speaker 1 (18:06):
What, brandon, is it your?
Speaker 4 (18:08):
fate.
That's because he's like fourtimes and like.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
No, no, no, no, no What?
Speaker 4 (18:13):
What You want to hear something.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
No, I was ready and moved on.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Ha, wrap it up All right.
So the moral to the story is ifyou have something that you
need to say to somebody, say it,say it respectfully, if you
think you know somebody that hassomething to say to you, ask
them, fix And be done with itYep.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
How do you spell that ?
What Ask them?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Ask them AXEM.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
What AXEM?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Ask them.
Ask them.
Okay.
Moving on, we are going towatch Patty LaBelle As she
honors Tina Turner.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I can't wait This is amazing.
We're going to see what happens.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Okay, all right, brandon, can we make sure this
is as she working?
Yeah, like, here we go.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
She got her bitties out.
You're coming to me.
come to me waving wires Shelooks good, she does.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Look at them legs.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Got to have a leg.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
One thing Patty's going to do is get your legs.
You hear me?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
What's Athena's going to do Wait, that's right.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Oh, come on, She don't know these words.
How about the same?
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Like what is happening.
She turned around like I needhelp guys.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Why is everybody standing there looking like oh?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Oh no.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
She said I tried y'all.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
You didn't try.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
First off, did you hear that she didn't do?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
You did not try.
Come on all Patty.
You did not try.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
She let them background singers, do the work.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Okay, she got to do one.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
She got to do that one.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Wow, wow Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
What She's behind the words She doesn't know the
words.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Where's her confidence monitor?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Oh no, oh no.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
They laughing at her.
Why do we do this?
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Why do we do this?
I'm all y'all.
She got to do that one.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
She still sounds good She do.
This is comedy going This iscomedy going, as she look good.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
This is comedy going.
It really is Why I'm a parodyone with Patty She said what if
I can't see the words?
I tried y'all.
No, you did not.
Now we all like are those thewords?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yes, i mean.
Here's the thing, thoughPatty's still going to give you
some notes, listen.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
That's that me, plus Come on somebody.
She going to make you forgetthat she forgot the words.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Is that Yolanda And her daughter's name?
Yolanda said.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
I know these words.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
What.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Oh no, That's not true.
What's?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
happening.
That's not true.
Oh, what's the actual thing?
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Because it's client.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, that's what they did Oh they try to save
Patty life.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
They like let's mess up in the video Technical
difficulties.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
See, that's not true.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, I know I know it's true.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
This is what it is Oh oh.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
She's like oh, She looks amazing.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
They did, somebody did unplug it.
Somebody stay ready.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
So I can't fault her completely.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, she's in her 70s.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
So no, but as somebody who works with lyrics
for this stage, We know thisthat she needs her lyrics.
Right.
Which means if she feltconfident enough to not get up
there and know all the lyrics,then the person behind the
scenes should have, like theydon't have, sound check anything
where she went.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
That's our saying.
That's our saying You workbehind the scenes?
right, i do, i work behind thescenes.
Yes, we have that in common.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Right, that means somebody up there wasn't doing
their job Correct.
She knew that she was going tohave the lyrics and she didn't.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
How many songs does she have to perform today?
Speaker 1 (23:37):
She's a husband You have one job.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
No, tina.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Turner No, somebody needs to be fired.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
She's a thing.
Somebody didn't have her lyrics.
I'm going to get you thesenotes and I'm going to give up
the stage.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
You're simply the best.
It was a freak.
It was a Chevrolet Ford, it wasa commercial.
It was a big song She knew thehook.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
How old is the song?
She knew the hook.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
That was all that was on the commercial.
Listen, no, i don't blame Patty, you ain't never lied.
That is the verses would nothave been this Exactly.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
She got the hook.
The verses would not have beenthis.
I don't blame Patty, i don'tdisagree.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
I just feel like, come on, you would leave your
whole performance in the handsof another person.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Now, that is a.
Thing.
As a professional that part islike a thing.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
So here's a little bit of the universe, the
worldwide web song, not theworldwide web.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
She put her trust in somebody and they let her down.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
She outgores it in.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
there It was his, and now it belongs to Beyonce.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
No.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
So the backstory here is the teleprompter was on the
floor and not on like a rafterWhere she can see it.
Huh.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Did she know that before, when she came?
Speaker 3 (24:49):
for Sandra Probably.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
So when people stood up she could not see it.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
So where's her manager at telling her this?
I'm sorry, i can't blame her.
I don't disagree.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I don't think that she would have gone through
soundcheck and all the things,knowing the negatives, and not
fixed it.
Knowing her, she would havefixed it.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
My thing is, it's a team effort.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
But Patty also was like in an outperformance where
my background singer.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
This is not new, that she's not ever heard, it wasn't
just.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
That was a brief.
Thank you, my lady.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
It wasn't just the fact that she couldn't see the
teleprompter, it's also the factthat we are used to this whole
like it's not just one song.
It's like, i think, after shehad a certain time she was like
I'm checked out completely ofeverything.
She didn't want to do it andI'll show up.
But and it's like yo, but youstill perform like Smokey
Robinson, not doing that.
He older than her.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
And I love Patty.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
But everybody got different struggles in their 70s
.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I'm just saying I don't want to make it through my
70s And she needed her littlehelp.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
So here's what I will say.
It's one song.
She sounded good, though Shesounded amazing.
She came with the notes.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Listen, i forgot.
She forgot the lyrics when shehit that chord.
Yeah, sounded good, thoughForgot.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Now the verse is Patty simply a mess.
That's what that was.
The verse is Patty.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Look, she came, she looked good She did She sounded
good.
She was amazing, it'sunfortunate.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
She owned the moment.
She told them wish I could seethe lyrics.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Especially when I tried y'all.
I did who almost stand in frontof the prompter and are like,
excuse me, person in the red.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Can you do?
Speaker 4 (26:33):
that, but you saw her in the beginning.
She looked back like she wastelling them there's something
wrong.
So who back there didn't go andfix it?
That's true too.
I'm sorry There have been timeswhere I'm on the lyrics and
you're like Megan, I don't knowthis song, So you need to be on
them.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
What you saying.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Just saying But what.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I'm not going to do is get on stage and have you
listen to the song today.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
She's so commercial, she's all the commercial.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
If you listen to it.
Today, did you just Amazonmusic today?
Did you pull it up and justlisten to it once.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Everybody has perfect memory.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
It's not about perfect memories, at least
getting into their sister.
It's one performance When youon stage and letting nobody make
me no fault.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
It doesn't matter.
There's times where I practiceall week long, but it's the
adrenaline.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
But you just said it, you practiced all week long.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
We don't know that she didn't.
We know that she didn't.
No, we don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
We don't know.
She is in her Come on yo.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
She might not have taken her gink a below, but what
is it called Wow?
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Y'all just saw that.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
She didn't miss a line, she missed all Brandon.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Y'all really think she rehearsed all week, brandon,
all week She rehearsed.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
OK.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I need you to stop and bring it down.
Stop sipping your tea Andhere's the thing It's what You
don't know, that a 7D year oldperson.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
So that's it.
How old is she?
Let's find out.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I'm a luck, go ahead, you can come through.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Alexa, how old is Patty LaBele?
Wait, are you going to?
Speaker 3 (27:56):
answer this Alexa listen to me You don't know how
with her age 79.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Please, sotp, i mean S-T-O-P, wait, s-o-t-p.
S-t-o-p.
Brandon, you cannot say that.
She was like, look, i have amemory problem, like she could
say it, like everybody is not No, no, no, wait, wow, that's her
assertive coming out.
Stop it.
No, no, no.
You can't say she could haverehearsed, she could have
rehearsed.
She could have rehearsed.
(28:23):
No one is perfect, so she couldsay look, i have a deficit.
I need when the adrenaline isgoing, the lights is going, the
people are there.
I'm going to lose my space.
I need the lyrics.
You don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
I am not blaming any one party.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
So you can't say she didn't know, you can't say she
didn't rehearse.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
I didn't say she didn't rehearse.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
I'm sorry.
You said she didn't rehearse,you said it.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
I rehearsed.
Please, it was That's fine.
That's fine, i'll say it.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
It is a collaborative .
I don't believe you.
You don't know.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
But she was on all of her cues.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
That's what I'm trying to say.
So how are you on?
Speaker 4 (29:02):
all of your cues if you didn't rehearse.
She knew the song, she didn'tknow a little bit of the words.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
She just needed help with the lyrics And a
79-year-old should have accessto lyrics When she turned around
and looked and that look said Ineed help.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
They should have gone out there and helped.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Here's the reality.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Health is 79-year-old .
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Here's the reality Tell us She still got a check.
She did So at the end of theday But she's been drawn on the
internet And she did amazing.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
She did an amazing job, but she don't care, she
don't.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
I really don't think she cares.
I really don't.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
She was up there with her smile face doing her thing
like a grace.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Face beat.
What was the song?
Lil Wigg Jay, what was?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
the song, the Christmas song.
She didn't remember I don'tknow.
You remember what I'm talkingabout.
Yeah, i know, you know what I'mtalking about, Which is like
where my background sink is.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
It's right here, i'm not putting that on.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
She knows she need background sinkers, but she
don't know the lyrics.
I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
She want things to be perfect.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Nevertheless, Patty, you sung the song.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
You did your thing And we all love you.
Oh, my god, you had your pumpson.
You know what I'm saying.
Listen, she did.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
She has dress Legs glistenin'.
She did not look.
79.
No.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
She's a great dancer.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
You know it's a shock with somebody 79 when you look
it up and you go, yeah, right,yeah, and don't be all inspired
to that.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
If I could look like that at 49.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
If I could style like that at 42.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Listen.
Yeah, i agree, patty, you didyour thing.
Yes, it was comical.
Yes, we laughed, we debated,still relevant.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
But I'm going to get him to say his name and we
talking about you.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Right, he am saying You winning All right.
So.
I don't know, i think we'll sayoften Nevertheless, guys, thank
you so much for joining us.
I hope you enjoyed it, we hadserious, we had reaction, we had
fun.
Yes, until next time, thank.
Bye.
All right, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
What's up everybody, welcome back to the lawyer in
the Everybody.
Welcome back to the lawyer anda certain podcast.
My name is Jane and I'm Megan.
They are radio and Brandon andwith y'all.
With who?
Oh Yes, they are, make sure youcheck them out.
But today we're actually gonnahop right in Ray, ahead
(00:33):
something that she wants to havea conversation.
I do, okay, so I have aquestion.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Let me pull it up.
This is a conversation I hadwith Brandon the other day and I
was like why don't we share?
So this is a scenario.
Okay, All right so let's say ahusband does something that
unknowingly offenses wife, butshe brushes it off as if it's
not a big deal.
You know it's not a big dealWhatever, but every so often the
thought keeps creeping backinto her head Like it.
(00:58):
Just you know, i'm saying so.
What does she do?
does she and this is likemonths after right Does she
initiate a conversation like,hey, you did such and such?
Hmm and it offended me.
I'm sorry.
Then ran up, or does she try tobrush it off herself, like this
has been three, four months?
whatever the case may be, shetried to brush it off.
(01:20):
It wasn't a big deal, but itdid offend her.
Should she bring it up becauseit's still something that she
thinks about, or should she justtry to find a way to let it go?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
So I'ma say bring it up me too.
I think How she brings it upmatters Mm-hmm, but I would say,
bring it up, because I thinkthat Sometimes I mean let's just
be on in any relationship, butI think more more specifically
in a spouse relationship, thereare things that your partner
does to offend you that justoften goes not talked about.
(01:53):
Yeah, and I think that Thethings that you don't talk about
can end up building resentmentand bitterness.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Those things that cause the divorce in my opinion.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, and so I would say, yes, you bring it up now
what that conversation is gonnalook like that's the thing.
I know you've been holding thisthing for a couple months, so
what we doing?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
No, but I think you bring it up, not in the heat of
discussion, okay, or an argumentlike you actually set aside
intentional time to bring it upand you acknowledge the time
length.
Hey, i know that it's been awhile This has been weighing on
me, but I do want to bring it upbecause it keeps surfacing.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yeah, i agree.
So for me, i feel like a Personfirst needs to, like reflect
why is this thing?
That wasn't that we decide tobrush off ourselves, because at
the time we thought you knowwhat it offended me, but it's
not a big deal, it's not a bigdeal, i'm gonna brush it off.
So, really, like, do theself-reflection first to figure
(02:55):
out why is it bothering you.
and if you can Resolve itwithin yourself, and fine.
but if you can't, then, likeyou said, talk to your spouse
and say, hey, you did this threemonths ago.
whatever, i tried to brush itoff, i did this self-reflection
(03:17):
and I know why it's bothering me, because I feel like something
that wasn't a big deal but stillstings or whatever.
it's probably rooted insomething else.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
I think you also need to have patience with the other
person.
If you're bringing this upthree months later, you gotta
have patience.
That that person's like are youkidding me?
Are we really still?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Especially if it wasn't a big deal.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Right If it's not as much of a big deal while we're
talking about it right now.
But I think there's a two-waystreet.
On one hand you gotta havepatience that I realized that I
didn't bring this up threemonths ago because I just kind
of brushed it off.
But at the same time you alsohave to understand that if you
are on the receiving end, youhave to kind of go okay.
well, this is not a person thatis trying to hide things from
(04:02):
me.
You know he or she actually didthe work.
I didn't think about the elementof that He or she actually did
try to do the work of forgettingabout it, but they couldn't.
So, as much as I might feellike yo, this is out of nowhere
and we have been past this, ishould probably have a little
grace and kind of go okay.
Well, because if it was me, iwould want the patience to do
like, hey, i'm not over it, ineed to talk about it, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
So Yeah, i think what you said is probably the bigger
element is that I think, yeah,i want to broaden this.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
What you said, not what I said, wait, He said and
and no what she said.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
I was like oh, welcome to smaller element, Wow
Did.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I say bigger element.
You did.
That's the one No.
We want to take No, but I dothink that I think and I want to
broaden this a little bitbecause it could be people
listening That's not couples.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Yep, they could be parents, they could be friends,
they could be siblings, co-workers.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So I do think that I think that all of us I actually
been thinking a lot about thislately, okay I think that all of
us have things, little thingsthat people do to irritate us,
that we don't talk about, And Ithink that I think that
oftentimes to your point whenyou said, like maybe you need to
dig a little bit deeper andfigure out what that thing is,
that is like triggering you.
(05:31):
Because, it can be something sosimple as, like, megan is a
fidgeter.
You know what I'm saying And Idon't want to be you.
Just stop yo.
It's getting on my nerves.
Just do it.
I just want you to stop.
How dare you, Megan?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Not that I was just fidgeting down below the table.
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Make down below.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
On the phone.
Okay, you said down below, justa hold up the pocket.
No, no, you're like, it wasn'tme, that's what you said Yes,
man, No, but but no for real.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I think that.
I think that oftentimes it'slike what is that thing and why
is that thing bothering me, Man?
why am I here and called one?
so he said three, two, one, one, two, three.
What the heck is bothering me?
You No, but I do think that,Yeah, I think this is a.
(06:22):
I think it's a validconversation, because being able
to kind of get to the heart ofa matter is something that I
think needs to happen at alltimes in conversations.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yes, this is kind of the surface level thing that
we're talking about, but here'sthe thing that is behind it.
So here's my question Whathappens if in the conversation,
you are discovering the thingthat's behind it and it's almost
catastrophic, like, and youdidn't realize, like the thing
that she was thinking?
Wow.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I think there's two things up for this show.
We're going to have to do apart two.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
No, just because you know, like you know, in
conversations, sometimes it'slike yo, i didn't even know that
was a thing, and now it's likea thing that we really got to
work through Right.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
But I think I think that's the purpose why you talk
to whoever it is, whether it'syour spouse or your friend or
your coworker.
That's the reason that you havethat conversation with them.
Sure, Do the work ahead of time.
You know you're having theconversation.
Even if you were resolved itwith you, you should still have
the conversation so that therecan be a greater level of
intimacy there to say, Hey, thisis a trigger for me, or Hey,
(07:29):
this reminds me of a pastexperience that I had, And I
just need you to know up frontthat this is what you're
encountering.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah, i think that it's important how and I think
you said this it's important howyou initiate the conversation,
because if you say, look, idon't know why, i'm still upset
about this very small thing thathappened, and as you're talking
, there is a like awakening towhy.
(07:56):
But I think if you start theconversation that way, then
maybe there could be a littlegrace.
Yeah, oh, i didn't know that.
that was the reason why.
you know what?
I'm saying But if you just comeup like guns blazing, like you
did this, and five months ago.
So I feel like it's importantto I do agree with you guys.
I think that you should neverhold on to something that's
(08:18):
bothering you.
If it's something that you'relike, oh, they did this, well,
it's not a big deal, i'm goingto go, but you can't Yeah, maybe
you have to do the work tofigure out why and then discuss
it with the person and hope thatthere can be.
Maybe it's not necessarily thatit did something wrong, but
it's something within you thatis triggered or is hurt because
(08:39):
of a past situation or whatever,and that needs to be talked out
.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
My question is what do y'all think makes us hesitant
about saying?
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Because vulnerability is uncomfortable.
To say that something that yousaid or something that you did
affected me means that I'mtelling you that you have power
over me for a great length oftime.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yes, It's something that could be insignificant.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
But that thing is triggered because of something
that happened in the pastinsecurity whatever, and then
inviting them into the processof discovering why That's huge.
Absolutely, but I feel like it'svery important.
I think this is something thata lot of couples I mean I know
this is not just for couples,it's for any kind of
(09:29):
relationship, but becauseBrandon and I deal with couples
and marriages and stuff likethat I think that a lot of
couples allow time to go onwhere this hurts and then you
dumb down your hurt And youallow time and time and there's
resentment and bitterness Andthen all of a sudden you explode
because you're not wise with.
Let me just talk it out andfigure it out, because maybe my
(09:52):
spouse wants to help me throughthis.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
And you know why you can't do that?
Because of the number one thingthat a lot of couples have the
shutdown factor.
I mean, think about it.
Somebody come at you withsomething from five months ago
and it's like, and you kind of,at first you're kind of like
whoa, what is it?
And then you know what, youknow what, yeah, whatever you
(10:16):
say, got you.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Understood.
I want to shut down.
I'm emotionally incoherent.
Yeah, i agree with that.
I think that it's interesting.
I'm not generally on that sideof things as the assortment on
your inside Not generally, but Ithink, yeah, i'm thinking, and
that's why I said general.
I said general.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I don't know.
But I'm saying I thinkeverybody has the capability
truly to assess something andkind of just check out And be
like you know what.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I can't do this right now.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah, whatever you say.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
And then it's not genuine, and I've done that
often with her.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
You know what I mean.
I don't know.
I know that.
I know that It's like yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
People tend to look at me as somebody who likes to
fight all the time, but that'snot really true.
There are times I enjoy it.
It's fine, but for the moment.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
It's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
But I think for me I'm not the person.
I don't want to fight withpeople I love.
You know what I'm saying And soI'm just not into that.
You know what I mean.
If I have to, i will, but it'snot something I'm pursuing.
You know what I mean.
I just want to look at one moreangle of this conversation.
What if you, because you postedof, like I've been holding this
thing and this person doesn'tknow What, if you are the spouse
(11:28):
or the friend or the siblingwho knows this person has
something against you thatthey're not saying?
They like living life is normal, but you know like something
about you.
I hate that.
Like what do you do?
I think the question is like,what do you do in that situation
?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
So I'm the kind of person I don't like
confrontation, but I definitelyrun towards it because I can't
live in that limbo.
So if I know I was turned upone day and I probably said
something that was a little toowhatever and I offended Megan or
something like that, i can'tjust live like that didn't
happen.
So I have to like, look, can we, how did you feel when I said
(12:06):
that, like something like I haveto bring it up because,
especially if I'm doing lifewith this person best friends,
marriage, work, companionship,whatever the case may be I can't
live in that uncomfortablespace because eventually it's
gonna come out and I don't wannadeal with.
I don't wanna be caught unawareor off guard.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
So I'm gonna walk towards it.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I'm gonna be like in front of it.
you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Yeah, Yeah, i'm with you.
I feel like the first thingthat I have to do is say have I
created an environment wherethat person can't feel
comfortable enough to say thatI've offended them?
So the first thing I'm gonna dois ask those questions Hey,
have I made a place here whereyou can't tell me what you
honestly think, honestly feel?
(12:50):
But I need to ask that to mebefore I can go to the other
person.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I don't know that I am.
I post this question because Idon't think I'm generally this
person.
I don't even know that.
I'm always thinking about thefact that I may have offended
somebody.
You know what.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I mean Like.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I'm not No, I'm sorry .
Not the co-signer, i was justagreeing with you, like
basically you be offended ifpeople are gonna sign you and be
thinking nothing about it.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
No, i just feel like you're the type of person, like
I said, what I said.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, and I think that like.
but here's what's interestingfor me In those moments of I
said what I said that don't bethe stuff that offend people.
It'd be stuff that like how didthat offend you?
Speaker 4 (13:31):
That, like the stuff that people end up bringing to
you.
It's the tone of how you saidsomething that you didn't even
me bad.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, i'm just like I don't know.
Like now, if I was trying to bea butt then like you would know
that, you would see, that youwould understand that.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
And most people crazy are not offended by that.
No, because it's just likewhatever.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
I know, that's the obvious.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
It's just JB and J, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
That's just JB.
Why is he smoking?
I don't know.
That's just JB and J Like.
Who's so cold you talking about?
He fixed cars.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Why you got fixed cars.
Hold on but he fixed cars andhe ain't got no LLC.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
He was like just bring it by after work.
Ah, just bring it by after work, why?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Lord JB and J.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yeah, you know, I just think for me, it's put me
in some uncomfortable situationsbecause, it's made me feel like
well then, who can I be then?
If I am, if I'm notintentionally trying to offend
you and I'm just being who I amand I'm offending you, it just
puts me in a world where I'mlike what do I do Now?
you?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
have to defend what you did and who you are.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yes, yes, and so it's like, and it's like who wants
to do that, though?
Speaker 4 (14:47):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I'm saying So.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
But in our scenario you have to see that sometimes
it's not you, It's not that youdid something wrong, that's the
thing.
Most times I think most times Iget offended because of prior
experiences.
That's it.
It's a trigger to somethingthat happened in my past that
makes me upset.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yes, i think that in situations like that we can't
always be quick to carry theweight of that.
Yes, because I'm like, if youoffended by that, i had nothing
to do with me.
You know what I'm saying.
So I have to put it back on youto say but why did that offend
you?
I don't want you to be offended, but why did that offend you?
(15:28):
Because of course you know Ididn't mean that as an offense.
You know what I'm saying, and Ifeel like a lot of people carry
that weight, and then they feellike, oh, well then I can't be
me, cause I'm living my life andbeing whatever And you offended
by me just being me, and a lotof times you're not offensive.
You know what I'm saying.
It's just them being offendedeven though I'm not causing an
(15:50):
offense.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
But I think that's where communication is so
important is because, hey, ihave these expectations.
Now I can communicate to you tosay, when you say this or when
you do this, it is a trigger forme.
So I'm laying out theexpectation that you don't do
this, or that you be mindfulthat when you do this, it's
going to come off as offensive,whether you mean it or not, for
(16:12):
sure.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, and I think that for personally, i have
these types of hours.
We didn't really launch intothe like they, loyal, we
assertive type thing, but Ithink for personality types like
ours, i think that there'stension in what you said, right?
So if something is not mine toown and Megan is very good when
I'm like talking about certainsituations if somebody has an
offense, if they feel offendedby me, she's good to be like yo.
(16:36):
This part is you, this part wasnot you.
You know what I mean.
Maybe none of this was you.
I think for an assertivepersonality type, it is possible
for you to not be wrong andstill apologize.
Yeah, that's good, and what Imean is like you're not
apologizing for doing somethingwrong.
You're apologizing that youhurt somebody that you didn't
mean to hurt.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Absolutely, and then from there.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I do think that it's a platform by which the person
can then say, hey, here's thething that I was really dealing
with And, like you said, yo,what's the like?
where's that coming from?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
And what?
Speaker 2 (17:09):
is this thing that you bring into the relationship,
that you feel like I did, butreally is something that's kind
of living in you that gottriggered.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, absolutely, i feel like, especially if an
assertive person comes off thatway, it creates the space for a
person to flush out why and howthey were feeling that way and
all that stuff.
But if an assertive person come, like you know whatever, like
they're not going to be free tolike flush through maybe some of
(17:40):
the trauma or some of thethings.
And, of course, to me in arelationship, in any kind of
relationship, in a relationship,you should want to be able to
be a help to the people.
that you're around to createbetter space, And so if
something that I did unknowinglyunearthed something, then let
me help you.
I'm not.
I don't want to create evenmore offense because I'm
(18:02):
creating an environment whereyou feel like you can't share.
You know what.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I'm saying Yeah, yeah .
Speaker 1 (18:06):
What, brandon, is it your?
Speaker 4 (18:08):
fate.
That's because he's like fourtimes and like.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
No, no, no, no, no What?
Speaker 4 (18:13):
What You want to hear something.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
No, I was ready and moved on.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Ha, wrap it up All right.
So the moral to the story is ifyou have something that you
need to say to somebody, say it,say it respectfully, if you
think you know somebody that hassomething to say to you, ask
them, fix And be done with itYep.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
How do you spell that ?
What Ask them?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Ask them AXEM.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
What AXEM?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Ask them.
Ask them.
Okay.
Moving on, we are going towatch Patty LaBelle As she
honors Tina Turner.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I can't wait This is amazing.
We're going to see what happens.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Okay, all right, brandon, can we make sure this
is as she working?
Yeah, like, here we go.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
She got her bitties out.
You're coming to me.
come to me waving wires Shelooks good, she does.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Look at them legs.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Got to have a leg.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
One thing Patty's going to do is get your legs.
You hear me?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
What's Athena's going to do Wait, that's right.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Oh, come on, She don't know these words.
How about the same?
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Like what is happening.
She turned around like I needhelp guys.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Why is everybody standing there looking like oh?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Oh no.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
She said I tried y'all.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
You didn't try.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
First off, did you hear that she didn't do?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
You did not try.
Come on all Patty.
You did not try.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
She let them background singers, do the work.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Okay, she got to do one.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
She got to do that one.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Wow, wow Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
What She's behind the words She doesn't know the
words.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Where's her confidence monitor?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Oh no, oh no.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
They laughing at her.
Why do we do this?
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Why do we do this?
I'm all y'all.
She got to do that one.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
She still sounds good She do.
This is comedy going This iscomedy going, as she look good.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
This is comedy going.
It really is Why I'm a parodyone with Patty She said what if
I can't see the words?
I tried y'all.
No, you did not.
Now we all like are those thewords?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yes, i mean.
Here's the thing, thoughPatty's still going to give you
some notes, listen.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
That's that me, plus Come on somebody.
She going to make you forgetthat she forgot the words.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Is that Yolanda And her daughter's name?
Yolanda said.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
I know these words.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
What.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Oh no, That's not true.
What's?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
happening.
That's not true.
Oh, what's the actual thing?
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Because it's client.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, that's what they did Oh they try to save
Patty life.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
They like let's mess up in the video Technical
difficulties.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
See, that's not true.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, I know I know it's true.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
This is what it is Oh oh.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
She's like oh, She looks amazing.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
They did, somebody did unplug it.
Somebody stay ready.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
So I can't fault her completely.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, she's in her 70s.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
So no, but as somebody who works with lyrics
for this stage, We know thisthat she needs her lyrics.
Right.
Which means if she feltconfident enough to not get up
there and know all the lyrics,then the person behind the
scenes should have, like theydon't have, sound check anything
where she went.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
That's our saying.
That's our saying You workbehind the scenes?
right, i do, i work behind thescenes.
Yes, we have that in common.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Right, that means somebody up there wasn't doing
their job Correct.
She knew that she was going tohave the lyrics and she didn't.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
How many songs does she have to perform today?
Speaker 1 (23:37):
She's a husband You have one job.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
No, tina.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Turner No, somebody needs to be fired.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
She's a thing.
Somebody didn't have her lyrics.
I'm going to get you thesenotes and I'm going to give up
the stage.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
You're simply the best.
It was a freak.
It was a Chevrolet Ford, it wasa commercial.
It was a big song She knew thehook.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
How old is the song?
She knew the hook.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
That was all that was on the commercial.
Listen, no, i don't blame Patty, you ain't never lied.
That is the verses would nothave been this Exactly.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
She got the hook.
The verses would not have beenthis.
I don't blame Patty, i don'tdisagree.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
I just feel like, come on, you would leave your
whole performance in the handsof another person.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Now, that is a.
Thing.
As a professional that part islike a thing.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
So here's a little bit of the universe, the
worldwide web song, not theworldwide web.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
She put her trust in somebody and they let her down.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
She outgores it in.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
there It was his, and now it belongs to Beyonce.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
No.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
So the backstory here is the teleprompter was on the
floor and not on like a rafterWhere she can see it.
Huh.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Did she know that before, when she came?
Speaker 3 (24:49):
for Sandra Probably.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
So when people stood up she could not see it.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
So where's her manager at telling her this?
I'm sorry, i can't blame her.
I don't disagree.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I don't think that she would have gone through
soundcheck and all the things,knowing the negatives, and not
fixed it.
Knowing her, she would havefixed it.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
My thing is, it's a team effort.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
But Patty also was like in an outperformance where
my background singer.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
This is not new, that she's not ever heard, it wasn't
just.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
That was a brief.
Thank you, my lady.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
It wasn't just the fact that she couldn't see the
teleprompter, it's also the factthat we are used to this whole
like it's not just one song.
It's like, i think, after shehad a certain time she was like
I'm checked out completely ofeverything.
She didn't want to do it andI'll show up.
But and it's like yo, but youstill perform like Smokey
Robinson, not doing that.
He older than her.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
And I love Patty.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
But everybody got different struggles in their 70s
.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I'm just saying I don't want to make it through my
70s And she needed her littlehelp.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
So here's what I will say.
It's one song.
She sounded good, though Shesounded amazing.
She came with the notes.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Listen, i forgot.
She forgot the lyrics when shehit that chord.
Yeah, sounded good, thoughForgot.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Now the verse is Patty simply a mess.
That's what that was.
The verse is Patty.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Look, she came, she looked good She did She sounded
good.
She was amazing, it'sunfortunate.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
She owned the moment.
She told them wish I could seethe lyrics.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Especially when I tried y'all.
I did who almost stand in frontof the prompter and are like,
excuse me, person in the red.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Can you do?
Speaker 4 (26:33):
that, but you saw her in the beginning.
She looked back like she wastelling them there's something
wrong.
So who back there didn't go andfix it?
That's true too.
I'm sorry There have been timeswhere I'm on the lyrics and
you're like Megan, I don't knowthis song, So you need to be on
them.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
What you saying.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Just saying But what.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I'm not going to do is get on stage and have you
listen to the song today.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
She's so commercial, she's all the commercial.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
If you listen to it.
Today, did you just Amazonmusic today?
Did you pull it up and justlisten to it once.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Everybody has perfect memory.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
It's not about perfect memories, at least
getting into their sister.
It's one performance When youon stage and letting nobody make
me no fault.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
It doesn't matter.
There's times where I practiceall week long, but it's the
adrenaline.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
But you just said it, you practiced all week long.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
We don't know that she didn't.
We know that she didn't.
No, we don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
We don't know.
She is in her Come on yo.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
She might not have taken her gink a below, but what
is it called Wow?
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Y'all just saw that.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
She didn't miss a line, she missed all Brandon.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Y'all really think she rehearsed all week, brandon,
all week She rehearsed.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
OK.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I need you to stop and bring it down.
Stop sipping your tea Andhere's the thing It's what You
don't know, that a 7D year oldperson.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
So that's it.
How old is she?
Let's find out.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I'm a luck, go ahead, you can come through.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Alexa, how old is Patty LaBele?
Wait, are you going to?
Speaker 3 (27:56):
answer this Alexa listen to me You don't know how
with her age 79.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Please, sotp, i mean S-T-O-P, wait, s-o-t-p.
S-t-o-p.
Brandon, you cannot say that.
She was like, look, i have amemory problem, like she could
say it, like everybody is not No, no, no, wait, wow, that's her
assertive coming out.
Stop it.
No, no, no.
You can't say she could haverehearsed, she could have
rehearsed.
She could have rehearsed.
(28:23):
No one is perfect, so she couldsay look, i have a deficit.
I need when the adrenaline isgoing, the lights is going, the
people are there.
I'm going to lose my space.
I need the lyrics.
You don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
I am not blaming any one party.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
So you can't say she didn't know, you can't say she
didn't rehearse.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
I didn't say she didn't rehearse.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
I'm sorry.
You said she didn't rehearse,you said it.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
I rehearsed.
Please, it was That's fine.
That's fine, i'll say it.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
It is a collaborative .
I don't believe you.
You don't know.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
But she was on all of her cues.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
That's what I'm trying to say.
So how are you on?
Speaker 4 (29:02):
all of your cues if you didn't rehearse.
She knew the song, she didn'tknow a little bit of the words.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
She just needed help with the lyrics And a
79-year-old should have accessto lyrics When she turned around
and looked and that look said Ineed help.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
They should have gone out there and helped.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Here's the reality.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Health is 79-year-old .
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Here's the reality Tell us She still got a check.
She did So at the end of theday But she's been drawn on the
internet And she did amazing.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
She did an amazing job, but she don't care, she
don't.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
I really don't think she cares.
I really don't.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
She was up there with her smile face doing her thing
like a grace.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Face beat.
What was the song?
Lil Wigg Jay, what was?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
the song, the Christmas song.
She didn't remember I don'tknow.
You remember what I'm talkingabout.
Yeah, i know, you know what I'mtalking about, Which is like
where my background sink is.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
It's right here, i'm not putting that on.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
She knows she need background sinkers, but she
don't know the lyrics.
I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
She want things to be perfect.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Nevertheless, Patty, you sung the song.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
You did your thing And we all love you.
Oh, my god, you had your pumpson.
You know what I'm saying.
Listen, she did.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
She has dress Legs glistenin'.
She did not look.
79.
No.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
She's a great dancer.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
You know it's a shock with somebody 79 when you look
it up and you go, yeah, right,yeah, and don't be all inspired
to that.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
If I could look like that at 49.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
If I could style like that at 42.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Listen.
Yeah, i agree, patty, you didyour thing.
Yes, it was comical.
Yes, we laughed, we debated,still relevant.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
But I'm going to get him to say his name and we
talking about you.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Right, he am saying You winning All right.
So.
I don't know, i think we'll sayoften Nevertheless, guys, thank
you so much for joining us.
I hope you enjoyed it, we hadserious, we had reaction, we had
fun.
Yes, until next time, thank.
Bye.
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