April 14, 2025 • 35 mins
It's "Re-Release Time" as we are preparing for Season 5 of "The LYLAS Podcast!" What can you expect from Season 5? A new logo, website, improved sound and visual quality of the podcast, new and exciting topics and guests!!! It's all coming your way!!!! But, before it does we are kicking it back to some of our favs from Season 4!
Ever found yourself holding onto resentment because you are convinced of someone else's ill intentions? Forgiveness isn't about letting others off the hook, it's about freeing ourselves from the negative, emotional weight. Listen in as we share how we are working through this process ourselves!
Please be sure to checkout our website for previous episodes, our psych-approved resource page, and connect with us on social media! All this and more at www.thelylaspodcast.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey folks, it's Sarah Stevens with the Lylas Podcast
and we are doing somere-releases as we gear up for
Season 5 of the Lylas Podcast.
And before we get into there-release, let me just tell you
that we have a new look, a newsound, a new logo and a new
website all coming your way.
So be sure to text the show, asyou can do from your favorite
(00:21):
podcasting platform, and let usknow what you want us to talk
about.
We already have several guestsconfirmed and we are listening
to your requests in order to getthem booked.
So be sure to text the show,give us your ideas, thoughts,
opinions, whatever, and we willall take it to heart.
Again, thank you so much forlistening and being a part of
our podcast.
Our first re-release fromSeason four is about forgiveness
(00:45):
Cue that old 80s song right,but it's a tough topic and it's
something that we're all stillworking on, whether it's with
our partners, our family, withourself.
It's a big word and takes a lotof big work, and so we're going
to kick it back to our firstepisode release from season four
, where we talk about rewritingour stories and the path to
(01:09):
forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Welcome to LILAS.
If you grew up in the 80s and90s and you know what LILAS
stands for, then this podcast isfor you.
Hey, season four, what's up?
Season four, baby.
I'm so excited to be backrecording.
I had on just my typical Vioresweatpants and I was like hell,
(01:45):
no, this is season four.
Record day Press play, let's dothis.
So I put on like an actualoutfit today for this.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
God, good for you.
And here I am just coming infresh off of a run in a yoga
class.
I didn't have the same thoughtyou look cute regardless.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
I just I wanted to celebrate, we're back at it, it
feels good.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
It does, it does.
It's been a long break.
We've been busy doing a lot ofdifferent things, but I think
throughout that time we've bothhad the opportunity to talk with
people who have listened to theshow.
We've done our re-releases forthe summer and so thanks to all
those who have like downloaded.
You know we're still kind oftuning into what we have to kind
(02:31):
of say on this, but we are sopumped to really just have this
time again to talk to each other.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Right, right, to get back at it.
You said long break.
I felt like it was a supershort break.
It was like the shortest summerever.
I felt like I blinked and itwas over and I was back to
packing lunches again.
So I feel like it was just itwas.
We did a lot in a short amountof time.
I would agree with that, but itfelt like a short break to me.
(02:58):
However, still very excited tobe back.
I was at a birthday party lastweekend and several people asked
me what the update was withLylas and I told them that we
were getting back to recordingthis week and I was very excited
to be able to share that.
So here we are and I'm excitedfor the topics and the guests
(03:18):
that we have identified for thisseason.
So I think that it's going tobe some good stuff, some new
stuff we haven't even talkedabout yet.
Who thought we'd come up withmore things to talk about 61
episodes later, right?
I don't know, we're going to beout of it by now.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Well, I guess.
But thank God humans are sodiverse and our universe is so
expansive that we're able justto kind of pick up and cue in on
some things, including liketoday's topic, like whenever we
were briefly discussing it.
We've never somehow come acrossand thought about talking about
this.
I don't even know what thatsays.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
We've just had a lot of other stuff to talk about and
it's been, you know.
I also think it's like just thephase of life that we're in.
We're in a real shit show oflife right now.
I don't know about you in thiswe're definitely going to talk
about this season but I havejust like fully accepted the
fact that I'm in perimenopauseat this point and almost like
mad that I didn't recognize itsooner.
(04:16):
Like you, idiot.
Like all signs were pointing toding, ding, ding.
You know we had talked about itonce before on an episode.
It's not like I was unfamiliarwith the topic, but it's like,
and maybe it's just sort ofsolidified for me here recently.
But it's like you're 42 yearsold, You've probably been
experiencing this for a coupleof years now and I've just been.
(04:37):
I've learned so much about itso I'm excited to talk about
that.
But if that wasn't enough, as amidlife woman to have to deal
with fucking perimenopause,Thank you.
I just also think there's justthere's been so many heavy
things happen in this season oflife.
Right, we're dealing, likewe've talked about before, with
(05:00):
aging parents and loss ofparents.
We've covered that in previousseasons and I just think that
there's a lot to unpack rightnow as a midlifer.
So I don't think it saysanything bad about us that we
haven't talked about forgivenessbefore today.
I think it says that we havehad a lot of other topics to
(05:20):
cover.
And now it's time to talk aboutthat, because of course, we talk
about things that come up inour life.
And now it's time to talk aboutthat Cause of course we talk
about things that come up in ourlife, and this was a
conversation we started to havethe other day and we said let's
press pause and have this on themic.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, and that was hard to do because we both just
naturally, once we startedtalking about it, I think you've
kind of fallen to a groove,especially on topics like this,
where you're right.
Just certain moments orexperiences hit you and then you
realize you have to kind ofpivot what your previous
thoughts about something orsomeone was to them, maybe at
(05:59):
times a more compassionate place, maybe at times it's maybe not
a compassionate place, but it'sjust an interesting pause, I
guess.
Whenever forgiveness comes late, I think we're I don't, I don't
know that it ever really comesvery soon, though, and now that
I just said that, I think itdepends on the situation and the
(06:20):
person.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
There's so many variables there.
But I consider myself a prettyforgiving person, like I don't
know.
But I consider myself a prettyforgiving person Like I don't
know would you agree with thatLike I tend to do worship pretty
quickly and I'm like, okay,let's move on, let bygones be
bygones.
But there are a few instancesin life, particularly in the
last, we'll say, 10 years, whereI have definitely held grudges
(06:42):
or held onto things that youknow, I was hurt and we've
talked about this and I thinkthis is definitely a topic for
another day but how we tend tomake up stories or not make them
up, but we were tellingourselves these stories in our
head and then we start to lookfor evidence to verify that
(07:04):
we're correct, that our story isin fact correct.
And I had a situation recentlyand I'm gonna be very careful
how I say this because I knowthat this isn't public knowledge
and I wanna be respectful ofthat but I had a situation
recently where someone in mypast who had previously really
hurt me this is sort of how thisall came to be I found out
(07:25):
something really terrible andtragic had happened to that
person and it was like in aninstant I felt forgiveness for
that person, for everything thathad happened, you know, like it
didn't matter, it instantlydidn't matter and it was
something, well, I would think alot of people would agree
really mattered.
It was not a little deal, itwas a big deal and um, but in
(07:51):
that instant it was just I can'tdescribe it.
I was just like everything'sforgiven and um.
You know, because when you hearsomething so terrible, um A it
started to make a lot of thingsthat happened.
I know I'm being very vague, sothis may be hard to follow, but
(08:15):
it helped me realize a differentperspective to what had
happened, one that I had neverconsidered before.
And now I couldn't ignore it,and it was a very different
perspective from what I hadpreviously had.
So, you know, it just remindedme that what I had decided in my
mind was true.
(08:36):
That's what happened.
That's how this person hurt meor wronged me or whatever the
storyline in your head is, andit is really hard for you to let
that go Right At least for me,it was at this instant and so it
just I don't know.
I think it's forgiveness is sucha tricky thing, but now, in
(09:00):
thinking about other situations,it's it's sparked this whole
idea of like, thinking aboutother situations in life and how
, like, maybe my perspective iswrong in that situation too, and
maybe I need to look at adifferent, look at it from a
different angle or a differentlens.
And it just has really got methinking about how we hold on to
negative emotions and anger andfrustration and hurt and how it
(09:24):
affects us.
And you know, when in allreality, and especially in this
situation, there was somethingtotally different going on from
what my perception was.
I don't know, it's just, it'sreally.
It makes you think, makes youanalyze things right.
(09:45):
Maybe we don't know everything,maybe we don't have it right,
like it really starts to makeyou think I'm only going to pay
attention to what I have solidevidence to support, not what I
can interpret as supporting mytheory.
Yeah, and that is.
What do you have to say aboutthat?
I feel like you're sitting onsome sort of knowledge over
(10:05):
there.
Oh God.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I wish I'm laying an egg over here, right?
No, I think it's so hard to dothose things in the moment.
That's the first thing thatcomes to my place with it.
But you know, as you're talkingabout the stories that we
create unintentionally but basedupon our own personal narrative
, this reminds me of whenever wewere at our retreat in Arizona,
(10:33):
because that was one of thetopics that came up as part of
our like morning lessons waslike how we will often create
stories to verify what we thinkis right.
It's like having thatconfirmation bias is what you
know.
Back in what like psychologyworld was what we would term
that as being?
But we all do it and it's veryunconscious.
(10:54):
But then I was recently atanother kind of like Ayurvedic,
based but more focused on likemeditation and breathing type of
retreat based but more focusedon like meditation and breathing
type of retreat and they saidsomething that we often look for
intention and mistakes thathave been made towards us, but
(11:15):
we don't often see intention inour own mistakes.
So we assign it in others butnot in ourselves.
And by assigning intentionbehind someone else's behavior,
we are also adding anger andresentment to it and then
subtracting away our energy andour goodwill and you know all
(11:40):
the light, and love or whateverelse that we can bring into the
world.
Yeah, by having assigned thatintention to someone else's
actions.
And it does create a misbalancebecause we're not doing that
for ourselves.
If I make a mistake, that I'mcompletely justified because you
know, oh, I forgot or I didthis, or you know, we make up
excuses to justify whateverhappened within our misgivings
(12:04):
or doings.
But then whenever we look atsomebody else, it's like, oh,
bullshit, you weren't payingattention.
You know what I mean.
We can go down a whole longline of assigning attention
intention and then creating astory behind it, and it's just,
it creates that unbalance ormisalignment.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
It so hits the nail on the head that it's the
intention behind it, it's thecreation of what that person
intended behind the behavior.
When you assign that intention,you know it's like you're the
all knowing of exactly.
You know there's so many otherpossibilities.
I think just recognizing thatthere are so many other reasons
(12:43):
it's not to say that we can'ttake accountability for our
behavior and that actions don'thave you know, you know things
are, you know, like a dominoeffect in many situations.
But realizing that there couldbe so many possibilities for
intention, and also in talkingabout the, the meditation
(13:04):
retreat we did, I've startedreading the seven principles
that you gave me.
And I'm really diving into it.
So I'm taking like a little bitof the time and I'm really like
journaling about it and likeI'm tying it all together.
I'm doing a lot of things rightnow, a lot of habit stacking
happening over here right now.
It's going really well, butanyway.
And so I'm in the first lawright Seven laws which is the
(13:31):
law of limitless possibilitiesright, limitless potential or
something to that effect, andthree things if you want to
experience this law of, you know, potentiality.
Three things to focus on aremeditation, which I already do
every day, so check.
The second one is practicingnon-judgment.
(13:53):
And the third one is to be innature, right?
It's been time to nature,connect with nature, grounding
that kind of stuff, and so I waslike, okay, I do some of these
things already, so I can make aplan for how I'm going to
increase this.
I'm going to spend, you know,15 minutes a day meditating,
every day this week.
I'm going to make sure that Idrink my coffee outside and I'm
going to go for a run orwhatever.
(14:15):
And then I'm going to reallypractice non-judgment, which is
really hard, non-judgment ofself and others, but it is, once
you start to acknowledge whenyou are judging someone, it is
really easy to sort of turn itoff and be like not my place,
like this, this me practicingbeing non-judgmental, and then
you can it's a lot easier tokind of like turn it off.
(14:37):
And so I have just found howit's all sort of overlapping,
like all of these things thatI'm thinking about and
experiencing.
You know, it goes back to likethat non-judgment don't create,
don't create stories, don'tcreate um.
What did you say?
I can't think of the word now,but don't create the um an
(15:00):
intention, intention person yeah, the other person's intention
for their behavior.
Mm, hmm, I don't know which tome is just not being judgmental,
like not judging someone else'sbehavior and actions, mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah and that, but that is again.
It is so hard Like I can sithere and just spout this stuff
off like it's you know what Imean A gospel.
I'm living and walking everyday, but I'm not one of the 12
here.
You know what I mean.
So it's not something that you.
It's a very hard thing topractice, especially within the
moment, but I think it does comedown to the more that you touch
(15:39):
base with coming into play withthose basic practices.
Being non judgmental, takingthe time out to meditate, time
out in the woods, whatever ithappens to be at that kind of
point in time, is just kind ofgetting additional reps or
practice in on on.
That will make it easier atdifferent points in time to kind
of do that or to kind ofrefocus back with it.
(16:02):
But it is, yeah, it's tough,like everything else, right.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
It's hard.
I think it's more of just likehaving the conscious, like
awareness of when it's happening.
I think that to me, that's whatI'm looking for when I'm
thinking of like am I makingprogress in these things?
Am I like acknowledging timeswhen I'm being judgmental, at
least like I'm doing, that I'mat least taking the first step
of like oh hey, that's ajudgmental thought about
(16:28):
somebody, or your create, youknow, like it could be something
totally different.
And so just acknowledging whenyou're having that, I feel like
it's progress.
Right, are you going to likenever judge anyone the rest of
you no, nobody's perfect, butit's like just that, like
awareness.
Never judge anyone the rest ofyou no, nobody's perfect, but
it's like just that, likeawareness of our thoughts, when
you know you can do that, butlike think of all the things
that we create and thestorylines and how, like
(16:50):
friendships and families andlike relationships.
I mean like so many things,because we create intention and
stories, because we createintention and stories, and then
you know we're willing to likedivide from people and like
fight, for you know what we'vedecided is the truth and this is
(17:13):
not, like you know, some hugerevelation or anything new that
people are talking about.
But I know for me growing upand you know I love my mom, I do
, but she can hold a grudge withthe best of them and I think it
(17:34):
just that I have always beenkind of like like let's move on.
Like you know, I've messed uptoo, like you know, like I'm
always just able to get pastthings for the most part, and
sometimes that hasn't served mewell, like sometimes, you know,
I've been hurt twice.
Like shame on me, right.
But I think forgiveness is soachievable if we stop to believe
that like, hey, maybe we don'thave this, all the knowledge to
(17:58):
the story, all the pieces.
Maybe we don't have it allfigured out, maybe this isn't
the intention of them behavingin this way.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, and again, it's tough, especially whenever
you've learned differentpatterns throughout your life
from different teachers and byteachers.
I just mean influence, you know, not necessarily like the
Instagram, facebook ones, but,you know, like our parents or
grandparents or friend group,whatever.
I mean, we're all, we're allconstantly learning and
observing through ourenvironment and, um, that serves
(18:30):
as the person who we become,until we're probably at this
midlife point where we're like,hey, you know what, some of this
stuff might've not been servingme too well, so I might just
have to kind of like step back abit and pivot again, not
necessarily abandoning, but justbe willing to kind of break
away from some, um, justunhealthy things that we've been
(18:52):
doing.
I don't want to call them likehabits or behaviors or whatever
else there's.
That's not general enough.
You know what I mean.
It's just what we have beendoing that has not been maybe as
effective as what it could be.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, yeah, if it's not serving us, which is what
we've taught, we talk about thatevery week, right?
Like if it's not serving us,it's got to go.
And to me, this is one of thosethings, like it's not serving
us to create these narratives.
And, you know, I think aboutall the like, just just like the
negative feelings I've hadtowards this person over the
(19:25):
last several years and like Ihad no idea what was happening.
You know, like I.
Just it's like I don't know wegot to think about, we've got to
think about you know, is itworth it at the?
end of the day Is it worth thestress and the havoc that it
wreaks on our body?
(19:45):
And the more I learn and theolder that we get, we need to
really try to keep our cortisoldown and like homeostasis right,
that's like the name of thefucking game.
Right now it's like keepeverything equal, keep your
blood sugar equal, like all thethings.
That's always been your case.
But now it's like extra,because now you're going to age
(20:05):
extra fast if you don't, and allother things Right, yes, but I
mean in all seriousness, you'retrying to just keep everything
tranquilo, or at least that'swhat I'm trying to do right now.
And if part of that isreleasing anger and frustration
and forgiving people for thingsI've forgiven people for way,
way, way worse, like whycouldn't I forgive that?
That's fair, you know.
(20:26):
So like just like reallystarting to think about that
kind of stuff and I hate.
I hate that it had to be such aterrible situation to see
something from a differentperspective, but I feel like
unfortunately that happens a lot.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
No, it happens to all of us all the time.
It takes that for us tosometimes see gratitude.
It's the unfortunate side ofthe world at times, or of
ourselves at those moments.
But even with forgiveness, Ithink as I'm hearing you talk
about it, two things come tomind.
One just because we've forgivena person does not mean that we
have to reach back out and bebuddies with them or that we
(21:02):
have to have a relationship withthem.
Forgiveness is not so much aboutthe other person, it's about
ourselves.
Right, it's about not lettingthat yeah, it's about not
letting that toxicity continueto be within us.
Like there's that old Buddhistsaying that, um, like, what
anger is whenever you um, whatis it?
Uh, you drink poison and expectsomebody else to get sick.
(21:26):
You know that's not how thiskind of thing works.
And so, um, forgiveness is moreabout ourselves and not about
the other person.
So, even if you and that'sreally just decreasing your
attachment to the emotionalcomponents of the behavior or of
(21:47):
the relationship it doesn'tmean you reinvest in the
relationship or that you youknow what I mean try to make
some other type of amends onyour behalf, especially if it's
not a great situation orwhatever.
But it really is about you asthe individual putting that down
.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Right and I couldn't agree with you more.
Like am I going to reach out tothis person?
Absolutely not.
Like I'm just not going to,like that's just not no Right,
because at the end of the day,what happened like it was still
wasn't good, like it was still avery terrible thing that
happened.
Now I just understand why ithappened, that's fair.
I think that is where I couldlike go of the anger and the
(22:27):
intent, like the intent wasn'tthere and I know that now, which
is very different when you feellike someone has harmed you
purposefully versus you were youknow a bystander or you know
innocent bystander, because,just, it has a different
attachment to that pain and thatanger that goes with it,
(22:50):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Definitely.
I think the word resentmentcomes up a lot whenever I think
about forgiveness, because ifyou're still harboring that
emotion in particular, thenyou've really never moved to
that forgiveness part thathappened and so and resentment
is again.
It's like a long, it's like along form cancer that's just
(23:12):
eating away at you.
You know, maybe you can't evennecessarily detect it in a sense
, but it is living and eatingaway at you big time.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
And yeah, and I think you may not know, sometimes,
sometimes, like you're saying,like you don't, even, like I
wouldn't have said that I waslike harboring all this ill will
, but the moment I heard thatand I was like, oh, it's like
the weight that I felt.
I was like oh that wasaffecting me more than I
recognized, or like I had somereal feelings about that.
(23:41):
Yeah, ill, all this time realfeelings about that.
Yeah, bill, all this time later, you know.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, and then you think about that and again
nonjudgmentally, but how much ofour own time or energy or
whatever else has been been, Idon't know, tainted in a way,
because we've had that graynesskind of I don't know over our
eyes and we weren't able to seeall the light that was
comingness, kind of I don't knowover our eyes and we weren't
able to see all the light thatwas coming through, kind of a
thing, all the color.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Just trying to see the light over here.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
people Just trying to see the light Go towards the
tunnel.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
See the colors.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Whatever it takes, but it is so hard.
Is that conscious?
I think it's a.
They call it consciouscommunication.
Conscious it's, I think it's a.
They call it consciouscommunication.
There's different con.
It's conscious living.
It's living within your ownconscious state and recognizing
what is happening within thatplace.
And it's not always easy to do.
We're easily distracted.
(24:37):
But even in those points oftime it's like a conscious
awareness that you're beingdistracted by something right,
it's like when you awarenessthat you're being distracted by
something.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Right, it's like when you're meditating and your mind
drifts to a thought and thenyou drift back to your mantra.
But you know, it's like thatawareness of like, oh yeah, I'm
thinking about something else,when I'm supposed to be
concentrating on my mantra orwhatever you know, focusing on
my breath or whatever you'resupposed to be doing at the
(25:06):
moment, that conscious awareness.
I will say too, again, we havetalked about meditation a lot
and we will probably talk aboutit more because it's a real
passion of mine personally.
But you know the practice of it.
I am noticing the practice ofit is so, oh, it's getting so
good, like two years into thisand you just the way you can
drop in and so easily get tothat place of just real clear
(25:30):
like presence is really.
I mean, you know it's, it's allthe hype, it's all the people
talk about like the more youpractice anything, meditation is
so different is no different.
People talk about like the moreyou practice anything,
meditation is so different is nodifferent, no different than
anything else.
It just keeps getting betterand better and the results I
feel like in what you take awayfrom your practice just keeps
(25:51):
getting better.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, and your depth then has really changed too.
Like you listened, we've talkedabout this a bit, but you're
picking up on different apps ordifferent ways that you've kind
of gone about and helped alongthat journey, so it doesn't
become stagnant too.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah, I just tried new things.
Like being open is really big.
I tend to be very much acreature of habit Once I find
something, I stick with it.
But just being open to newexperiences and what that might
do.
And you know, at first I didn'treally like it the different,
the new tab I'm using but nowI'm like you know, no, I don't
want to use anything else.
I did go back the other day anduse my Melissa Wood app.
(26:28):
I use it all the time for herworkouts, but I used it for
meditation and it was stillgreat and it was a great.
It was a nice change of pace todo something different.
Um, so yeah, I like having allthe tools.
I'm just all like, put them allin the bag, you know, like,
bring them all along becauseeverything works so far Like
(26:48):
it's working.
Bring them all along becauseeverything works so far Like
it's working.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Well and again.
That's again because I thinkwe're now willing to go to the
tool store and start to buy them.
You know what I mean.
Instead of just use the toolsthat we were given by life,
we're now in the process ofcreating our own kit to assist
with Right, and we're not justbuying them, we're like using
them.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
You're using the tools assist with right and
we're not just buying them,we're like using them.
You're using the tools, you'repracticing the tools, even if,
like, day to day, you're notseeing the progress.
It's the long term progressthat you're saying, where you're
like, wow, this is working, youknow if I could just get like
the perimenopause piece in placelike figure that out.
I am diving heavily into cyclesyncing.
(27:31):
It's a real focus for me forthe next I'm going to say three
months.
I'm sure we will cover it againbecause I am like I said, I'm
going deep, you're going in thepractice zone, I'm going in the
practice zone, I am going to bethe guinea pig because I've, you
know, like, all that shit'strue, all that shit they say is
true when you get to your 40s.
(27:52):
It's wild, yeah, annoying.
And it's wild and like, whyhaven't we figured this out yet?
People, I know, yeah, it's 2024.
How have we not figured outhormone hacking?
we're not paying attention to itbesides synthetic like how have
(28:16):
we not figured this out yet?
But apparently people thinkthey have, and it's called cycle
syncing and I'm down to try it,because what do I have to lose
at this point?
Amen this perimenopause.
Belly ain't going nowhere she'shere.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I know Good God.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
What else are we going to talk about this season,
season four?
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Well, we have a great list.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Super interesting guests on board and some we
still haven't reached out to yet, but I think the list.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yes, it's on the to do.
It's on the list the list and sowe have some new things to it
with the show as well.
So if you have some ideas, youcan actually text the show now.
So whenever you are usingwhatever podcast platform to
listen to it, it has an option.
If you scroll that, you cantext the show.
Text us your ideas, it'll comestraight to us.
You, if you scroll that, youcan text the show, text us your
(29:11):
ideas, it'll come straight to us.
You know we'll text you back.
If we're able to thank you forit, we'll send you some swag in
the mail or whatever, but youknow your all's feedback is
always so helpful within thisentire process.
So that's some I think we'regoing to redive back into
healthy habits because, as youmentioned, whenever we first
started this podcast, you hadyour daily five.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
The daily five is now increased.
Oh my God, it's like the daily15 now, but I do it in the
amount of time that the dailyfive, like you know, since you
have it stack, you do habits ontop of habits and yeah, that's a
lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yes, but actually like coming into touch with that
and how these habits haveevolved to not take up more time
, but to give us more time to,kind of like, enjoy our life and
to be there within the moment.
And so it's.
It is about finding the mostefficient ways in order to make
that kind of stuff happen, soit's not like we're getting up
at four o'clock in the morningyou know, at least I'm not and
(30:06):
do all this kind of stuff.
I know this one does.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I like to get up early, though that's my time,
that's my jam.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I thought I was an early morning person too, and
then you're like up at like fiveand I'm like I'm here at 6 15,
is that cool?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I mean I go for my run or my walk at 6 15, but by
then I've already had my ag1 andhot water with lemon and I've
meditated and packed lunches.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
She's going to make two loaves of bread, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
But the habit stacking and we will definitely
dive in, dive into this, becauseI've thought a lot about this
lately too it is really justcreated out of things that I
like to do.
I have just created a routineof things that I enjoy, that are
good for me, and that's howit's evolved, and so I think
that that's it's something thatI look forward to every day.
(30:54):
It's not like, oh, I got to getall these things done.
It's like I get to meditate, Iget to get outside for my
sunlight, I get to take the dogfor a walk or go for a run or
move my body, whatever I'm doingRight, so yeah, and that's a
good word.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Well, I get to that's .
That's actually seen it as likethis is like something we
should be proud that we have theopportunity to take part in.
You know, it's like this is theblessing that I have, the I can
, I get to do this.
It's like winning an award, um,so that's definitely some of
them we've talked about.
Really, just as we're cominginto this as you said, season
kind of place or whatever justhow do we live unapologetically
(31:35):
as ourselves, and so that'll befun.
I think that'll be great.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yes, I'm excited for that conversation.
We'll just end that one becauseI don't.
I don't want to give too muchaway.
I think it's going to be areally fun conversation, since
we already started that one aswell and had to pause for the
cause.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Pause for the cause.
Developing Quest, I think, wasanother one that we had kind of
mentioned.
Yeah, and so can you talk alittle bit about that one?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, I need to send you an article to read before it
, but it's basically justlooking at.
Yeah, I need to send you anarticle to read before it, but
it's basically just looking atgoals as quests rather than
goals.
So it's like trying to achievequests, sort of gamifying it a
little bit more.
We probably need to developthat one out a little bit more,
but it was all based on thisarticle my husband sent me and
(32:26):
then we did this conversation wehad.
So that's where and I like thatwhole idea of like really
looking at your bucket listthat's another journal I'm using
right now, the bucket listjournal.
I love it.
I've got like 30 somethingthings written down for my
bucket list and at first I waslike I won't be able to think of
that many things.
But once you work through thejournal this specific journal it
(32:49):
sort of like helps you figurethat out.
Before it category it has likeeight or 10 different categories
and then, before you know it,you've got like three or four
things for each one and so, yeah, anyway, I just love that whole
idea of like turning our goalsinto like these.
Like you know, this quest oflike, can I achieve it?
Because it's really about it'snot even about, like, the
(33:12):
achievement of the goal, it'sthe process of getting there and
so really trying to maybe enjoythat a little bit more.
I know, let's see we've gotlike we said.
I don't want to say too muchabout guests because we haven't
firmed up all the details ortheir show topics, but very
interesting, some of the ideasthat we have, so really excited
(33:35):
about that.
Before we go, we're going tosign off, this is our first
episode, season four but thereis one thing we want to ask from
you.
You're going to hear it at theend of probably every episode
this season.
We don't ask for much.
We're the little show thatcould.
We're so grateful for all ofour listeners, everybody that
reaches out.
It makes it, literally makesour day.
So if you please, if you are alistener and you love the show,
(33:58):
please give us a review.
On whatever platform you arelistening to us, whether that's
Spotify or Apple, whatever,wherever you listen to your
podcast, leave us a review, wewill be eternally grateful.
Whatever, wherever you listento your podcast, leave us a
review, we will be eternallygrateful.
And, um, yeah, I think that's.
Uh, I think that'll do it forshow number one.
No, season four, show number 61it's crazy crazy before we know
(34:26):
it right, if we would have notlistened.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
If we would have not listened, if we would have
listened to a little voice inour head, we may have never been
here, but here we are.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Here we are all these hours later.
Thank you to our listeners.
Thank you to Seth.
He's coming back for seasonfour to listen to these, uh,
these midlife first talk.
So um he's in for anotherseason, so are we until next
week, y'all, lylas.
Hey folks, it's Sarah Stevens with the Lylas Podcast
and we are doing somere-releases as we gear up for
Season 5 of the Lylas Podcast.
And before we get into there-release, let me just tell you
that we have a new look, a newsound, a new logo and a new
website all coming your way.
So be sure to text the show, asyou can do from your favorite
(00:21):
podcasting platform, and let usknow what you want us to talk
about.
We already have several guestsconfirmed and we are listening
to your requests in order to getthem booked.
So be sure to text the show,give us your ideas, thoughts,
opinions, whatever, and we willall take it to heart.
Again, thank you so much forlistening and being a part of
our podcast.
Our first re-release fromSeason four is about forgiveness
(00:45):
Cue that old 80s song right,but it's a tough topic and it's
something that we're all stillworking on, whether it's with
our partners, our family, withourself.
It's a big word and takes a lotof big work, and so we're going
to kick it back to our firstepisode release from season four
, where we talk about rewritingour stories and the path to
(01:09):
forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Welcome to LILAS.
If you grew up in the 80s and90s and you know what LILAS
stands for, then this podcast isfor you.
Hey, season four, what's up?
Season four, baby.
I'm so excited to be backrecording.
I had on just my typical Vioresweatpants and I was like hell,
(01:45):
no, this is season four.
Record day Press play, let's dothis.
So I put on like an actualoutfit today for this.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
God, good for you.
And here I am just coming infresh off of a run in a yoga
class.
I didn't have the same thoughtyou look cute regardless.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
I just I wanted to celebrate, we're back at it, it
feels good.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
It does, it does.
It's been a long break.
We've been busy doing a lot ofdifferent things, but I think
throughout that time we've bothhad the opportunity to talk with
people who have listened to theshow.
We've done our re-releases forthe summer and so thanks to all
those who have like downloaded.
You know we're still kind oftuning into what we have to kind
(02:31):
of say on this, but we are sopumped to really just have this
time again to talk to each other.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Right, right, to get back at it.
You said long break.
I felt like it was a supershort break.
It was like the shortest summerever.
I felt like I blinked and itwas over and I was back to
packing lunches again.
So I feel like it was just itwas.
We did a lot in a short amountof time.
I would agree with that, but itfelt like a short break to me.
(02:58):
However, still very excited tobe back.
I was at a birthday party lastweekend and several people asked
me what the update was withLylas and I told them that we
were getting back to recordingthis week and I was very excited
to be able to share that.
So here we are and I'm excitedfor the topics and the guests
(03:18):
that we have identified for thisseason.
So I think that it's going tobe some good stuff, some new
stuff we haven't even talkedabout yet.
Who thought we'd come up withmore things to talk about 61
episodes later, right?
I don't know, we're going to beout of it by now.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Well, I guess.
But thank God humans are sodiverse and our universe is so
expansive that we're able justto kind of pick up and cue in on
some things, including liketoday's topic, like whenever we
were briefly discussing it.
We've never somehow come acrossand thought about talking about
this.
I don't even know what thatsays.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
We've just had a lot of other stuff to talk about and
it's been, you know.
I also think it's like just thephase of life that we're in.
We're in a real shit show oflife right now.
I don't know about you in thiswe're definitely going to talk
about this season but I havejust like fully accepted the
fact that I'm in perimenopauseat this point and almost like
mad that I didn't recognize itsooner.
(04:16):
Like you, idiot.
Like all signs were pointing toding, ding, ding.
You know we had talked about itonce before on an episode.
It's not like I was unfamiliarwith the topic, but it's like,
and maybe it's just sort ofsolidified for me here recently.
But it's like you're 42 yearsold, You've probably been
experiencing this for a coupleof years now and I've just been.
(04:37):
I've learned so much about itso I'm excited to talk about
that.
But if that wasn't enough, as amidlife woman to have to deal
with fucking perimenopause,Thank you.
I just also think there's justthere's been so many heavy
things happen in this season oflife.
Right, we're dealing, likewe've talked about before, with
(05:00):
aging parents and loss ofparents.
We've covered that in previousseasons and I just think that
there's a lot to unpack rightnow as a midlifer.
So I don't think it saysanything bad about us that we
haven't talked about forgivenessbefore today.
I think it says that we havehad a lot of other topics to
(05:20):
cover.
And now it's time to talk aboutthat, because of course, we talk
about things that come up inour life.
And now it's time to talk aboutthat Cause of course we talk
about things that come up in ourlife, and this was a
conversation we started to havethe other day and we said let's
press pause and have this on themic.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, and that was hard to do because we both just
naturally, once we startedtalking about it, I think you've
kind of fallen to a groove,especially on topics like this,
where you're right.
Just certain moments orexperiences hit you and then you
realize you have to kind ofpivot what your previous
thoughts about something orsomeone was to them, maybe at
(05:59):
times a more compassionate place, maybe at times it's maybe not
a compassionate place, but it'sjust an interesting pause, I
guess.
Whenever forgiveness comes late, I think we're I don't, I don't
know that it ever really comesvery soon, though, and now that
I just said that, I think itdepends on the situation and the
(06:20):
person.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
There's so many variables there.
But I consider myself a prettyforgiving person, like I don't
know.
But I consider myself a prettyforgiving person Like I don't
know would you agree with thatLike I tend to do worship pretty
quickly and I'm like, okay,let's move on, let bygones be
bygones.
But there are a few instancesin life, particularly in the
last, we'll say, 10 years, whereI have definitely held grudges
(06:42):
or held onto things that youknow, I was hurt and we've
talked about this and I thinkthis is definitely a topic for
another day but how we tend tomake up stories or not make them
up, but we were tellingourselves these stories in our
head and then we start to lookfor evidence to verify that
(07:04):
we're correct, that our story isin fact correct.
And I had a situation recentlyand I'm gonna be very careful
how I say this because I knowthat this isn't public knowledge
and I wanna be respectful ofthat but I had a situation
recently where someone in mypast who had previously really
hurt me this is sort of how thisall came to be I found out
(07:25):
something really terrible andtragic had happened to that
person and it was like in aninstant I felt forgiveness for
that person, for everything thathad happened, you know, like it
didn't matter, it instantlydidn't matter and it was
something, well, I would think alot of people would agree
really mattered.
It was not a little deal, itwas a big deal and um, but in
(07:51):
that instant it was just I can'tdescribe it.
I was just like everything'sforgiven and um.
You know, because when you hearsomething so terrible, um A it
started to make a lot of thingsthat happened.
I know I'm being very vague, sothis may be hard to follow, but
(08:15):
it helped me realize a differentperspective to what had
happened, one that I had neverconsidered before.
And now I couldn't ignore it,and it was a very different
perspective from what I hadpreviously had.
So, you know, it just remindedme that what I had decided in my
mind was true.
(08:36):
That's what happened.
That's how this person hurt meor wronged me or whatever the
storyline in your head is, andit is really hard for you to let
that go Right At least for me,it was at this instant and so it
just I don't know.
I think it's forgiveness is sucha tricky thing, but now, in
(09:00):
thinking about other situations,it's it's sparked this whole
idea of like, thinking aboutother situations in life and how
, like, maybe my perspective iswrong in that situation too, and
maybe I need to look at adifferent, look at it from a
different angle or a differentlens.
And it just has really got methinking about how we hold on to
negative emotions and anger andfrustration and hurt and how it
(09:24):
affects us.
And you know, when in allreality, and especially in this
situation, there was somethingtotally different going on from
what my perception was.
I don't know, it's just, it'sreally.
It makes you think, makes youanalyze things right.
(09:45):
Maybe we don't know everything,maybe we don't have it right,
like it really starts to makeyou think I'm only going to pay
attention to what I have solidevidence to support, not what I
can interpret as supporting mytheory.
Yeah, and that is.
What do you have to say aboutthat?
I feel like you're sitting onsome sort of knowledge over
(10:05):
there.
Oh God.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I wish I'm laying an egg over here, right?
No, I think it's so hard to dothose things in the moment.
That's the first thing thatcomes to my place with it.
But you know, as you're talkingabout the stories that we
create unintentionally but basedupon our own personal narrative
, this reminds me of whenever wewere at our retreat in Arizona,
(10:33):
because that was one of thetopics that came up as part of
our like morning lessons waslike how we will often create
stories to verify what we thinkis right.
It's like having thatconfirmation bias is what you
know.
Back in what like psychologyworld was what we would term
that as being?
But we all do it and it's veryunconscious.
(10:54):
But then I was recently atanother kind of like Ayurvedic,
based but more focused on likemeditation and breathing type of
retreat based but more focusedon like meditation and breathing
type of retreat and they saidsomething that we often look for
intention and mistakes thathave been made towards us, but
(11:15):
we don't often see intention inour own mistakes.
So we assign it in others butnot in ourselves.
And by assigning intentionbehind someone else's behavior,
we are also adding anger andresentment to it and then
subtracting away our energy andour goodwill and you know all
(11:40):
the light, and love or whateverelse that we can bring into the
world.
Yeah, by having assigned thatintention to someone else's
actions.
And it does create a misbalancebecause we're not doing that
for ourselves.
If I make a mistake, that I'mcompletely justified because you
know, oh, I forgot or I didthis, or you know, we make up
excuses to justify whateverhappened within our misgivings
(12:04):
or doings.
But then whenever we look atsomebody else, it's like, oh,
bullshit, you weren't payingattention.
You know what I mean.
We can go down a whole longline of assigning attention
intention and then creating astory behind it, and it's just,
it creates that unbalance ormisalignment.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
It so hits the nail on the head that it's the
intention behind it, it's thecreation of what that person
intended behind the behavior.
When you assign that intention,you know it's like you're the
all knowing of exactly.
You know there's so many otherpossibilities.
I think just recognizing thatthere are so many other reasons
(12:43):
it's not to say that we can'ttake accountability for our
behavior and that actions don'thave you know, you know things
are, you know, like a dominoeffect in many situations.
But realizing that there couldbe so many possibilities for
intention, and also in talkingabout the, the meditation
(13:04):
retreat we did, I've startedreading the seven principles
that you gave me.
And I'm really diving into it.
So I'm taking like a little bitof the time and I'm really like
journaling about it and likeI'm tying it all together.
I'm doing a lot of things rightnow, a lot of habit stacking
happening over here right now.
It's going really well, butanyway.
And so I'm in the first lawright Seven laws which is the
(13:31):
law of limitless possibilitiesright, limitless potential or
something to that effect, andthree things if you want to
experience this law of, you know, potentiality.
Three things to focus on aremeditation, which I already do
every day, so check.
The second one is practicingnon-judgment.
(13:53):
And the third one is to be innature, right?
It's been time to nature,connect with nature, grounding
that kind of stuff, and so I waslike, okay, I do some of these
things already, so I can make aplan for how I'm going to
increase this.
I'm going to spend, you know,15 minutes a day meditating,
every day this week.
I'm going to make sure that Idrink my coffee outside and I'm
going to go for a run orwhatever.
(14:15):
And then I'm going to reallypractice non-judgment, which is
really hard, non-judgment ofself and others, but it is, once
you start to acknowledge whenyou are judging someone, it is
really easy to sort of turn itoff and be like not my place,
like this, this me practicingbeing non-judgmental, and then
you can it's a lot easier tokind of like turn it off.
(14:37):
And so I have just found howit's all sort of overlapping,
like all of these things thatI'm thinking about and
experiencing.
You know, it goes back to likethat non-judgment don't create,
don't create stories, don'tcreate um.
What did you say?
I can't think of the word now,but don't create the um an
(15:00):
intention, intention person yeah, the other person's intention
for their behavior.
Mm, hmm, I don't know which tome is just not being judgmental,
like not judging someone else'sbehavior and actions, mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah and that, but that is again.
It is so hard Like I can sithere and just spout this stuff
off like it's you know what Imean A gospel.
I'm living and walking everyday, but I'm not one of the 12
here.
You know what I mean.
So it's not something that you.
It's a very hard thing topractice, especially within the
moment, but I think it does comedown to the more that you touch
(15:39):
base with coming into play withthose basic practices.
Being non judgmental, takingthe time out to meditate, time
out in the woods, whatever ithappens to be at that kind of
point in time, is just kind ofgetting additional reps or
practice in on on.
That will make it easier atdifferent points in time to kind
of do that or to kind ofrefocus back with it.
(16:02):
But it is, yeah, it's tough,like everything else, right.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
It's hard.
I think it's more of just likehaving the conscious, like
awareness of when it's happening.
I think that to me, that's whatI'm looking for when I'm
thinking of like am I makingprogress in these things?
Am I like acknowledging timeswhen I'm being judgmental, at
least like I'm doing, that I'mat least taking the first step
of like oh hey, that's ajudgmental thought about
(16:28):
somebody, or your create, youknow, like it could be something
totally different.
And so just acknowledging whenyou're having that, I feel like
it's progress.
Right, are you going to likenever judge anyone the rest of
you no, nobody's perfect, butit's like just that, like
awareness.
Never judge anyone the rest ofyou no, nobody's perfect, but
it's like just that, likeawareness of our thoughts, when
you know you can do that, butlike think of all the things
that we create and thestorylines and how, like
(16:50):
friendships and families andlike relationships.
I mean like so many things,because we create intention and
stories, because we createintention and stories, and then
you know we're willing to likedivide from people and like
fight, for you know what we'vedecided is the truth and this is
(17:13):
not, like you know, some hugerevelation or anything new that
people are talking about.
But I know for me growing upand you know I love my mom, I do
, but she can hold a grudge withthe best of them and I think it
(17:34):
just that I have always beenkind of like like let's move on.
Like you know, I've messed uptoo, like you know, like I'm
always just able to get pastthings for the most part, and
sometimes that hasn't served mewell, like sometimes, you know,
I've been hurt twice.
Like shame on me, right.
But I think forgiveness is soachievable if we stop to believe
that like, hey, maybe we don'thave this, all the knowledge to
(17:58):
the story, all the pieces.
Maybe we don't have it allfigured out, maybe this isn't
the intention of them behavingin this way.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, and again, it's tough, especially whenever
you've learned differentpatterns throughout your life
from different teachers and byteachers.
I just mean influence, you know, not necessarily like the
Instagram, facebook ones, but,you know, like our parents or
grandparents or friend group,whatever.
I mean, we're all, we're allconstantly learning and
observing through ourenvironment and, um, that serves
(18:30):
as the person who we become,until we're probably at this
midlife point where we're like,hey, you know what, some of this
stuff might've not been servingme too well, so I might just
have to kind of like step back abit and pivot again, not
necessarily abandoning, but justbe willing to kind of break
away from some, um, justunhealthy things that we've been
(18:52):
doing.
I don't want to call them likehabits or behaviors or whatever
else there's.
That's not general enough.
You know what I mean.
It's just what we have beendoing that has not been maybe as
effective as what it could be.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, yeah, if it's not serving us, which is what
we've taught, we talk about thatevery week, right?
Like if it's not serving us,it's got to go.
And to me, this is one of thosethings, like it's not serving
us to create these narratives.
And, you know, I think aboutall the like, just just like the
negative feelings I've hadtowards this person over the
(19:25):
last several years and like Ihad no idea what was happening.
You know, like I.
Just it's like I don't know wegot to think about, we've got to
think about you know, is itworth it at the?
end of the day Is it worth thestress and the havoc that it
wreaks on our body?
(19:45):
And the more I learn and theolder that we get, we need to
really try to keep our cortisoldown and like homeostasis right,
that's like the name of thefucking game.
Right now it's like keepeverything equal, keep your
blood sugar equal, like all thethings.
That's always been your case.
But now it's like extra,because now you're going to age
(20:05):
extra fast if you don't, and allother things Right, yes, but I
mean in all seriousness, you'retrying to just keep everything
tranquilo, or at least that'swhat I'm trying to do right now.
And if part of that isreleasing anger and frustration
and forgiving people for thingsI've forgiven people for way,
way, way worse, like whycouldn't I forgive that?
That's fair, you know.
(20:26):
So like just like reallystarting to think about that
kind of stuff and I hate.
I hate that it had to be such aterrible situation to see
something from a differentperspective, but I feel like
unfortunately that happens a lot.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
No, it happens to all of us all the time.
It takes that for us tosometimes see gratitude.
It's the unfortunate side ofthe world at times, or of
ourselves at those moments.
But even with forgiveness, Ithink as I'm hearing you talk
about it, two things come tomind.
One just because we've forgivena person does not mean that we
have to reach back out and bebuddies with them or that we
(21:02):
have to have a relationship withthem.
Forgiveness is not so much aboutthe other person, it's about
ourselves.
Right, it's about not lettingthat yeah, it's about not
letting that toxicity continueto be within us.
Like there's that old Buddhistsaying that, um, like, what
anger is whenever you um, whatis it?
Uh, you drink poison and expectsomebody else to get sick.
(21:26):
You know that's not how thiskind of thing works.
And so, um, forgiveness is moreabout ourselves and not about
the other person.
So, even if you and that'sreally just decreasing your
attachment to the emotionalcomponents of the behavior or of
(21:47):
the relationship it doesn'tmean you reinvest in the
relationship or that you youknow what I mean try to make
some other type of amends onyour behalf, especially if it's
not a great situation orwhatever.
But it really is about you asthe individual putting that down
.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Right and I couldn't agree with you more.
Like am I going to reach out tothis person?
Absolutely not.
Like I'm just not going to,like that's just not no Right,
because at the end of the day,what happened like it was still
wasn't good, like it was still avery terrible thing that
happened.
Now I just understand why ithappened, that's fair.
I think that is where I couldlike go of the anger and the
(22:27):
intent, like the intent wasn'tthere and I know that now, which
is very different when you feellike someone has harmed you
purposefully versus you were youknow a bystander or you know
innocent bystander, because,just, it has a different
attachment to that pain and thatanger that goes with it,
(22:50):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Definitely.
I think the word resentmentcomes up a lot whenever I think
about forgiveness, because ifyou're still harboring that
emotion in particular, thenyou've really never moved to
that forgiveness part thathappened and so and resentment
is again.
It's like a long, it's like along form cancer that's just
(23:12):
eating away at you.
You know, maybe you can't evennecessarily detect it in a sense
, but it is living and eatingaway at you big time.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
And yeah, and I think you may not know, sometimes,
sometimes, like you're saying,like you don't, even, like I
wouldn't have said that I waslike harboring all this ill will
, but the moment I heard thatand I was like, oh, it's like
the weight that I felt.
I was like oh that wasaffecting me more than I
recognized, or like I had somereal feelings about that.
(23:41):
Yeah, ill, all this time realfeelings about that.
Yeah, bill, all this time later, you know.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, and then you think about that and again
nonjudgmentally, but how much ofour own time or energy or
whatever else has been been, Idon't know, tainted in a way,
because we've had that graynesskind of I don't know over our
eyes and we weren't able to seeall the light that was
comingness, kind of I don't knowover our eyes and we weren't
able to see all the light thatwas coming through, kind of a
thing, all the color.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Just trying to see the light over here.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
people Just trying to see the light Go towards the
tunnel.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
See the colors.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Whatever it takes, but it is so hard.
Is that conscious?
I think it's a.
They call it consciouscommunication.
Conscious it's, I think it's a.
They call it consciouscommunication.
There's different con.
It's conscious living.
It's living within your ownconscious state and recognizing
what is happening within thatplace.
And it's not always easy to do.
We're easily distracted.
(24:37):
But even in those points oftime it's like a conscious
awareness that you're beingdistracted by something right,
it's like when you awarenessthat you're being distracted by
something.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Right, it's like when you're meditating and your mind
drifts to a thought and thenyou drift back to your mantra.
But you know, it's like thatawareness of like, oh yeah, I'm
thinking about something else,when I'm supposed to be
concentrating on my mantra orwhatever you know, focusing on
my breath or whatever you'resupposed to be doing at the
(25:06):
moment, that conscious awareness.
I will say too, again, we havetalked about meditation a lot
and we will probably talk aboutit more because it's a real
passion of mine personally.
But you know the practice of it.
I am noticing the practice ofit is so, oh, it's getting so
good, like two years into thisand you just the way you can
drop in and so easily get tothat place of just real clear
(25:30):
like presence is really.
I mean, you know it's, it's allthe hype, it's all the people
talk about like the more youpractice anything, meditation is
so different is no different.
People talk about like the moreyou practice anything,
meditation is so different is nodifferent, no different than
anything else.
It just keeps getting betterand better and the results I
feel like in what you take awayfrom your practice just keeps
(25:51):
getting better.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, and your depth then has really changed too.
Like you listened, we've talkedabout this a bit, but you're
picking up on different apps ordifferent ways that you've kind
of gone about and helped alongthat journey, so it doesn't
become stagnant too.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah, I just tried new things.
Like being open is really big.
I tend to be very much acreature of habit Once I find
something, I stick with it.
But just being open to newexperiences and what that might
do.
And you know, at first I didn'treally like it the different,
the new tab I'm using but nowI'm like you know, no, I don't
want to use anything else.
I did go back the other day anduse my Melissa Wood app.
(26:28):
I use it all the time for herworkouts, but I used it for
meditation and it was stillgreat and it was a great.
It was a nice change of pace todo something different.
Um, so yeah, I like having allthe tools.
I'm just all like, put them allin the bag, you know, like,
bring them all along becauseeverything works so far Like
(26:48):
it's working.
Bring them all along becauseeverything works so far Like
it's working.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Well and again.
That's again because I thinkwe're now willing to go to the
tool store and start to buy them.
You know what I mean.
Instead of just use the toolsthat we were given by life,
we're now in the process ofcreating our own kit to assist
with Right, and we're not justbuying them, we're like using
them.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
You're using the tools assist with right and
we're not just buying them,we're like using them.
You're using the tools, you'repracticing the tools, even if,
like, day to day, you're notseeing the progress.
It's the long term progressthat you're saying, where you're
like, wow, this is working, youknow if I could just get like
the perimenopause piece in placelike figure that out.
I am diving heavily into cyclesyncing.
(27:31):
It's a real focus for me forthe next I'm going to say three
months.
I'm sure we will cover it againbecause I am like I said, I'm
going deep, you're going in thepractice zone, I'm going in the
practice zone, I am going to bethe guinea pig because I've, you
know, like, all that shit'strue, all that shit they say is
true when you get to your 40s.
(27:52):
It's wild, yeah, annoying.
And it's wild and like, whyhaven't we figured this out yet?
People, I know, yeah, it's 2024.
How have we not figured outhormone hacking?
we're not paying attention to itbesides synthetic like how have
(28:16):
we not figured this out yet?
But apparently people thinkthey have, and it's called cycle
syncing and I'm down to try it,because what do I have to lose
at this point?
Amen this perimenopause.
Belly ain't going nowhere she'shere.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I know Good God.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
What else are we going to talk about this season,
season four?
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Well, we have a great list.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Super interesting guests on board and some we
still haven't reached out to yet, but I think the list.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yes, it's on the to do.
It's on the list the list and sowe have some new things to it
with the show as well.
So if you have some ideas, youcan actually text the show now.
So whenever you are usingwhatever podcast platform to
listen to it, it has an option.
If you scroll that, you cantext the show.
Text us your ideas, it'll comestraight to us.
You, if you scroll that, youcan text the show, text us your
(29:11):
ideas, it'll come straight to us.
You know we'll text you back.
If we're able to thank you forit, we'll send you some swag in
the mail or whatever, but youknow your all's feedback is
always so helpful within thisentire process.
So that's some I think we'regoing to redive back into
healthy habits because, as youmentioned, whenever we first
started this podcast, you hadyour daily five.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
The daily five is now increased.
Oh my God, it's like the daily15 now, but I do it in the
amount of time that the dailyfive, like you know, since you
have it stack, you do habits ontop of habits and yeah, that's a
lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yes, but actually like coming into touch with that
and how these habits haveevolved to not take up more time
, but to give us more time to,kind of like, enjoy our life and
to be there within the moment.
And so it's.
It is about finding the mostefficient ways in order to make
that kind of stuff happen, soit's not like we're getting up
at four o'clock in the morningyou know, at least I'm not and
(30:06):
do all this kind of stuff.
I know this one does.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I like to get up early, though that's my time,
that's my jam.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I thought I was an early morning person too, and
then you're like up at like fiveand I'm like I'm here at 6 15,
is that cool?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I mean I go for my run or my walk at 6 15, but by
then I've already had my ag1 andhot water with lemon and I've
meditated and packed lunches.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
She's going to make two loaves of bread, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
But the habit stacking and we will definitely
dive in, dive into this, becauseI've thought a lot about this
lately too it is really justcreated out of things that I
like to do.
I have just created a routineof things that I enjoy, that are
good for me, and that's howit's evolved, and so I think
that that's it's something thatI look forward to every day.
(30:54):
It's not like, oh, I got to getall these things done.
It's like I get to meditate, Iget to get outside for my
sunlight, I get to take the dogfor a walk or go for a run or
move my body, whatever I'm doingRight, so yeah, and that's a
good word.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Well, I get to that's .
That's actually seen it as likethis is like something we
should be proud that we have theopportunity to take part in.
You know, it's like this is theblessing that I have, the I can
, I get to do this.
It's like winning an award, um,so that's definitely some of
them we've talked about.
Really, just as we're cominginto this as you said, season
kind of place or whatever justhow do we live unapologetically
(31:35):
as ourselves, and so that'll befun.
I think that'll be great.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yes, I'm excited for that conversation.
We'll just end that one becauseI don't.
I don't want to give too muchaway.
I think it's going to be areally fun conversation, since
we already started that one aswell and had to pause for the
cause.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Pause for the cause.
Developing Quest, I think, wasanother one that we had kind of
mentioned.
Yeah, and so can you talk alittle bit about that one?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, I need to send you an article to read before it
, but it's basically justlooking at.
Yeah, I need to send you anarticle to read before it, but
it's basically just looking atgoals as quests rather than
goals.
So it's like trying to achievequests, sort of gamifying it a
little bit more.
We probably need to developthat one out a little bit more,
but it was all based on thisarticle my husband sent me and
(32:26):
then we did this conversation wehad.
So that's where and I like thatwhole idea of like really
looking at your bucket listthat's another journal I'm using
right now, the bucket listjournal.
I love it.
I've got like 30 somethingthings written down for my
bucket list and at first I waslike I won't be able to think of
that many things.
But once you work through thejournal this specific journal it
(32:49):
sort of like helps you figurethat out.
Before it category it has likeeight or 10 different categories
and then, before you know it,you've got like three or four
things for each one and so, yeah, anyway, I just love that whole
idea of like turning our goalsinto like these.
Like you know, this quest oflike, can I achieve it?
Because it's really about it'snot even about, like, the
(33:12):
achievement of the goal, it'sthe process of getting there and
so really trying to maybe enjoythat a little bit more.
I know, let's see we've gotlike we said.
I don't want to say too muchabout guests because we haven't
firmed up all the details ortheir show topics, but very
interesting, some of the ideasthat we have, so really excited
(33:35):
about that.
Before we go, we're going tosign off, this is our first
episode, season four but thereis one thing we want to ask from
you.
You're going to hear it at theend of probably every episode
this season.
We don't ask for much.
We're the little show thatcould.
We're so grateful for all ofour listeners, everybody that
reaches out.
It makes it, literally makesour day.
So if you please, if you are alistener and you love the show,
(33:58):
please give us a review.
On whatever platform you arelistening to us, whether that's
Spotify or Apple, whatever,wherever you listen to your
podcast, leave us a review, wewill be eternally grateful.
Whatever, wherever you listento your podcast, leave us a
review, we will be eternallygrateful.
And, um, yeah, I think that's.
Uh, I think that'll do it forshow number one.
No, season four, show number 61it's crazy crazy before we know
(34:26):
it right, if we would have notlistened.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
If we would have not listened, if we would have
listened to a little voice inour head, we may have never been
here, but here we are.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Here we are all these hours later.
Thank you to our listeners.
Thank you to Seth.
He's coming back for seasonfour to listen to these, uh,
these midlife first talk.
So um he's in for anotherseason, so are we until next
week, y'all, lylas.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.