January 20, 2025 • 27 mins
Ever wonder if the January rush to set resolutions might be more counterproductive than constructive? As we step into 2025, we question the traditional New Year's mindset, pondering whether a springtime start, when nature itself renews, might be wiser. Reflecting on a quarter-century since Y2K and our high school days, we share personal anecdotes about the rapid passage of time, the surreal anticipation of our 25-year reunion, and how we've evolved in our approach to growth and change. The conversation underscores the need for flexibility and intention rather than rigid goals, especially as we transition from the challenges of 2024.
We explore how winter's low energy can prompt us to rethink the timing of goal-setting, advocating for a gentler, more forgiving approach to self-improvement. By embracing rest and reflection, we challenge societal norms that equate nonstop busyness with success. We celebrate the younger generation's embrace of self-love and boundary-setting, highlighting the importance of pacing oneself for long-term well-being. Through our stories, we emphasize that taking breaks and allowing oneself to recharge is not only okay but essential for maintaining balance and perspective in a fast-paced world. Join us as we reframe the narrative around New Year's resolutions and advocate for a more intentional, self-compassionate start to the year.
Please be sure to checkout our website for previous episodes, our psych-approved resource page, and connect with us on social media! All this and more at www.thelylaspodcast.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome to Lylas.
If you grew up in the 80s and90s, you probably know what
Lylas stands for and, by default, this podcast is for you, hey,
hey, welcome to the new year,2025.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
What, happy New Year.
Happy New Year, yeah, it's abig year.
I mean, it seems like it's 2025, seems like a big number.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Right, it's a quarter of a century.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
So, 2025,.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Our 25 year high school reunion is this year.
Is that why you feel like it'sa big year?
I guess.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I just feel like You're just pumped to go back to
the castle.
Yeah, pumped to go back to thecastle, pumped to be a part of
all that again.
No, I just feel like maybe itis because we graduated in you
know an even year of 2000,.
But it's just like 25 justseems like a big number, like
whenever it was 1999 and we weregetting ready to go into like
(01:14):
Y2K and we had to reset all ofour computers and do all of this
crazy stuff.
Just to think that that wasactually 25 years ago is just
pretty wild, yeah, yeah.
It's mind boggling.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
We don't feel that old or it doesn't seem like that
much time has passed.
It does, but it doesn't.
It's a weird.
It's definitely weird to think25 years.
I mean, when our 20 yearreunion rolled around, I
remember thinking like 20 yearsand then we didn't get to have
it because it was the year ofCOVID and it was all planned and
(01:47):
ready to roll and then it allgot canceled.
But yeah, 25.
It is yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
It has a different ring to it.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It has a different, it has a different feel to it
for sure.
Yeah, I'm excited for this year.
I had a lot of feelings about2024.
It was an amazing year.
It was a hard year.
In some ways, it was aremarkable year.
You know, it's like it'sputting to bed.
It was just a big year initself.
I felt like it had a lot goingon in itself.
(02:19):
So I think that, in line withtoday's topic, I'm sort of
easing into 2025.
I am, you know, I'm not readyto, you know, jump right in
Hardcore, full force.
Let's do this, let's kick itoff Like I'm.
Just.
My mindset is way differentthis year.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I think that is because 2024 was heavy.
It did have a lot going on.
But 2024 changed me.
I think that's what.
It was heavy, it did have a lotgoing on 2024 changed me.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I think that's what it was, maybe.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
It changed me.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
How?
I guess it's good.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I mean, I guess every year changes us, but like just
the culmination of theexperiences that went down last
year?
Yeah, Definitely.
Yeah, Just a lot.
So easing into 2025 has been mymantra coming in.
What's today January 9th Ithink, and I still haven't
(03:19):
really like come up with like aNew Year's resolution, or you
know.
I got some like long-term goals, you know swirling around out
there, but nothing of like oh,I'm going to lose 10 pounds.
None of that kind of stuff ishappening over here?
None of like.
I'm going to run a marathon.
I mean, I, yeah, I'm going torun some runs this year.
(03:39):
I'm going to do some exercises.
My weight's going to fluctuatelike it has for 42 years and you
know, I don't, I don't know.
It's just a different vibe oflike not putting that pressure
on myself.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
this year to come up with something to better myself.
I think that's freeing just inand of itself, though, because I
think that we do get at timesbogged down by feeling the
pressure to have goals or how togo about like the whole setting
process, and so just to kind ofhave that freedom, just to be
like you know what we're justgoing, to kind of coast with
(04:15):
this for a little bit and justkind of see what the universe
presents or what kind of comesup, I mean it seems like it
allows for more flexibility justwithin our lives whenever we
don't have comes up.
I mean it seems like it allowsfor more flexibility just within
our lives whenever we don'thave some so many things that
are so rigidly set, yes, or thatkind of hold us down or that
can make us feel like a failureor a success or whatever.
(04:38):
It just has a little bit moreflexibility to whenever we have
some ease, I guess, yes.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I would agree with that and you know I like last
year I had my word and it kindof came up when we went to our
retreat, our meditation retreat,like picking a word and you
know, but I think we had alreadytalked about that before we
even did that at the retreat.
But this year I have set myword to be intentional because I
was like, if I am just reallyintentional about how I spend my
(05:08):
time, what I consume in everyway, shape and form, if I start
to be really intentional andalign that to some long term
goals, some things like nottrying to like, you know, happen
immediately.
But if I can start to alignsome of that, I feel like things
might feel easier.
(05:28):
I don't know, or goal you know,achieving goals might be a
little bit easier than than allthis pressure to like not to.
There's plenty of room forimprovement.
I'm not saying I'm perfect byany means and that there's not
room for improvement, but it'slike I'm just kind of tired of
like picking something and likethen getting the measuring stick
out and being like, ok, did I,did I do it?
(05:50):
I mean, yes, there's a time andplace for that and we have
definitely talked about goalsetting and measuring progress.
I think they're writing a bunchof stuff for work on it right
now, as we speak.
However, just right now I'mtrying to embrace this idea that
winter is really about likerest and restore and I'll start
setting some goals maybe in likea month or two, when I've had
(06:14):
some time to reflect and liketake it all in Because, like I
said, last year was a big year,a lot to process.
Just because the year enddoesn't mean you fully like
processed everything that hashappened, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Right, right, no, I definitely think that that's
true and just even in, like someof the silly memes or things
that you would see about, likejust burning sage, you know what
I mean To get rid of 2024.
Or you know those ones aboutcalling God to see if you got
like the prosperous plan insteadof like the dumpster fire one.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I just think that, yeah, I think that's right.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
It just speaks collectively, I think, to our
need, that we just need maybesometimes we just do need that
time just to process, to noteven reset, but just to kind of
like I don't know gradually,like you said, ease into things.
So that way we're being moreintentional, not as rigid, and
(07:13):
just allowing things to go alittle bit more with whatever
flow is happening within ourlife.
Now that has its own sword toit too, because then you can
become complacent I guess rightor you could, you know, slip
down like a lazy slope prettyeasy, or just become
non-motivated.
But I think that if you havethat keyword like intention,
(07:33):
then that serves as a block forany of the other sides of that
coin that you could findyourself on.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Right, cause I'm still going to be intentional
where I put my energy, you know,and for me it's kind of like
going this idea of going back tothe basics instead of adding
like something new, or, you know, like I'm going to be really
intentional to make sure that Iam getting those five basic
(08:08):
things that I set how many yearsago that I said.
I would do each day, like youknow, just going back to the
basics and even like honingthose skills, meditating for
longer amounts of time,increasing that, but like doing
the basics versus addingsomething new.
To me that just is where I'mfeeling the shift a little bit
this year is just really likedoubling down on the good things
(08:31):
I've put into place and thenlike almost honing those, if
that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Oh, definitely yeah, Resolidifying a good base so
that way whatever presentsitself can have a sturdy place
to kind of land.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Well, I just saw how impactful some of those
practices were in supporting methroughout this last year.
When I keep saying it's a bigyear, you know like a lot
happened good and bad and youneed I need those types of
supports in all of thosesituations, because I get
overstimulated and anxious andyou know, I have lots of things
that I have to pledge internallyand um, and so I need those
(09:09):
sort of like tools and once,once you see how effective they
are in helping you, it becomeskind of a no-brainer.
So it's like, okay, it's almostlike I feel like I'm in prepare
mode, but I'm like is that likesome sort of bad omen of what's
to come this year?
But it very much feels like goinward, get quiet, go back to
(09:31):
the basics you know what I meanLike that's the vibe that I'm
feeling for January of 2025.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I think it's perfect and I mean I think that that's a
month well spent on reflection.
I mean I don't know that justbecause it's a month well spent
on reflection, I mean I don'tknow that just because it's a
new year we just have to gogung-ho into things, like you
can make a goal for yourself anyday of the year.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
There's nothing special about January 1.
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Thank you.
So I think that that's one bigthing and I think we just have
to start.
When we're ready to start to dosomething, and whenever we feel
that internal kind of drive,push, motivation, then just
don't question it, just go withit, because you're getting that
sign of intention from somewhere.
(10:18):
And if right now it is justlike, let's just kind of you
know, it's winter chill time,let's just kind of chill
Hibernation, mm-hmm, you know,mm-hmm's just kind of chill
hibernation.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
You know it is kind of.
It's funny when you think aboutit.
We try.
It's funny that the new year,which falls for us in the middle
of winter you know this idea oflike rebirth and renew and and
you're like like coming out thegate which is really more of
like that springtime vibe, right, and and it's interesting.
I'm sure there've been studieson this, I have no idea, but
(10:51):
it's interesting because Iwonder if people would be more
successful at keeping new year'sresolutions if new year's fell
in like April 1st.
Oh, you know what I mean.
Like at a time where, like, youwant to get outside and it's
beautiful and you want toexercise more and walk more and
see your neighbors and have moresocial outings, and like all
those types of things that tendto kind of fall to the wayside
(11:15):
in the winter, because, why itdoesn't naturally lend itself to
a time of uh energy.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
it doesn't lend itself to a type of energy it is
in itself, in my opinion.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Just a different energy, a seasonal energy Like
not a let me go conquer theworld.
Chiseled abs.
I'm under four layers right now.
I don't need chiseled abs.
I'm not real motivated to do acrunch at the moment.
Right that winter, what didthey say?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Summer ball, I don't need chiseled abs, like I'm not
real motivated to do a crunch atthe moment.
Right, that winter, what didthey say?
Winter flume?
Yes, summer bods are made inthe wintertime, that's right.
I've got 12 inches of snowaround me right now.
My room is lit up by the white.
That's everywhere.
We don't need to put on lightsaround here.
If the sun's out, thereflection of the snow lights
our whole house.
(12:06):
Yes, lights our whole house.
Yeah, but it just doesn't makesense, and I think even from a
more and maybe this is kind of areach scientifically, but I
mean seasonal affective disorder, right, I mean, we're kind of
at its like peak, you know,during this kind of time right
here, and although it can happenin the summertime, for some
(12:26):
folks, it's still like who wasit that thought that January one
is the time for us just to besuper motivated and go out and
change our entire self, theworld or whatever else?
I mean, god bless you, butyou're 100% right.
The, the energy that is within,just doesn't necessarily
(12:47):
support that and I am just not abeliever in that.
You have to have.
There's no special date tostart something.
It's the day you start.
It is the special date.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Right, it's the day you believe you can achieve it.
That's the day you should startit Right.
Yes, the day you feel motivated, we're super aligned on that,
at least.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I feel like I just am like sliding into January.
I had like 47 unread textmessages this morning and I mean
I think that just indicatesonce again.
But I'm being very intentional,right, like I'm trying to read
more at night, like stay off myphone, like that is a byproduct
of like some of the other thingsthat I'm trying to
(13:29):
intentionally put my energy intothat I'm you know, but even
still I just feel like so farbehind for whatever reason, and
again it's that like measuringstick of you feel like everybody
else is, like you know, ontheir new fad diet, going to
have that summer bod in no timeand you're over here under four
layers having chocolate coveredpretzels for the third time this
(13:52):
week.
But you know, it's just, it iswhat it's January.
I'm just not feeling it thisyear Easing in.
We'll get there, we will getthere.
The pretzels will eventually begone, but we still have a lot
of snacks from the holidaysaround here.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah Well, and I mean , if that's part of it, that's
part of it, but it's just, Ithink, just being self-forgiving
in that you don't have to be onturbo mode.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Right you know, everything is a competition.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
No, and also the holidays are exhausting.
So if you think I mean, maybesome people do but if you think
that you're going to have, likeagain, a whole bunch of energy
that is going to be sustainedthroughout the month of January
after coming off of achallenging, heavy a year that
had a lot going on, and then youhave the holidays, which,
(14:43):
rightly or wrongly, are its ownbeast, you know that you feel
like you just have like ahangover from that just doesn't
go away in 24 hours, right, andthen you're just going to be
able to sustain that amount oflike energy and gumption for a
whole month.
I just think that that issetting yourself up for failure.
So if you've made resolutionsor goals and you find yourself
(15:05):
on the struggle bus or that youjust need to kind of like maybe
reevaluate plan, take a week,take two, take the whole month,
just to kind of get just chillacts, reflect inward, give
yourself some grace before youfeel like you just have to find
a whole bunch more within you.
(15:28):
Whenever it's already kind oflike at a third of a tank, I
just don't know how successfulyou're going to be if you start
that low.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I appreciate you saying that because it is
validating just to hear, aswomen and mothers and I'm sure
men feel this way too.
I'm not trying to like dog dadsor anything, but like December,
between Thanksgiving andChristmas, the amount of
logistical energy that my brainhad to figure out was, I mean it
(15:57):
just, and it is every year, butit is so much that it is so
exhausting and it is you kind ofexpect yourself.
You know you have like even ifyou take time off around the
holidays, you expect yourself tobe refreshed, but I don't care
who you are, like it'sexhausting.
And then that you come back andyour kids go back to school and
you go back to work and you'relike I never like actually took
(16:20):
a breath and just like even likehad the time to reflect on how
grateful you were for the timewith your family.
Even you know, like even toabsorb how grateful you are for
being able to travel and gettogether with family and having
people around that you genuinelywant to be with.
Like it's all just a rush, atleast for me, and maybe it's
(16:40):
because my family's all over thedamn place and it's a lot of
traveling involved, but it does.
It does wear on you.
Maybe it's just because we'reolder, damn place, and it's a
lot of traveling involved, butit it does, it does wear on you.
Maybe it's just because we'reolder too, but it's exhausting,
it is.
It's not probably part of thiswhole, like me just being a
little defiant and like I refuse, I will rest, damn it.
I'm tired.
(17:04):
I need a minute to take abreath.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Yeah, and it is.
I also like what you said it'sabout also.
Just we haven't even had timeto reflect on the positive.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Right, right.
You know and absorb it, becauseI think that's how you really
absorb it.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and that may even be from like the
whole year or anything else.
It's just like I don't know.
I think it's part of oursociety, I think it's part of
our culture, I think it's partof our self-imposed expectations
and getting into comparisongames or whatever else, but you
don't always got to be going athousand miles an hour, yeah.
(17:44):
Yeah, I don't know how much wewould actually gain by taking
some time to slow down, like Iused to tell my patients that a
lot of times, like if they werejust overwhelmed with things.
I say sometimes you have toslow down and catch up.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah, and I know that that doesn't kind of make sense
.
We say that all the time.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah, you've got to kind of find that pacing
mechanism within yourself inorder to be able to sustain
anything long term.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I love that.
That's such a great reminder.
I don't know about you, butthat Alabama song I'm in a hurry
just popped in my head when youwere talking about it, because
it is.
It was one of those songs thatI, you know, listen to on my run
mix a lot, because it is aboutlike you're always in a hurry to
the point where, like life'snot even fun you know, and like
(18:36):
if it's not fun, like what's thepurpose of all of this?
Like we have to slow down andreally like listen and absorb
and take time for ourselves, andfor some reason that became
like a shameful thing almost, orit was like growing up it was
you know, you were lazy, like ifyou, if you weren't.
And I think some people arejust like naturally busy bodies,
(18:57):
like they have to be moving,and I am not one of those people
and, um, you are, I would sayyou're a busy body Like you
can't sit still.
But just because I'm not thatway, doesn't make me lazy.
You know what I mean.
Like there, there's like thisif you actually take time to
rest, there's this like lazinessabout it.
I don't know.
The new generation doesn't seemto have problems with this.
(19:17):
They are very much all about,like you know, and which.
Good for them.
Good for them for recognizingand setting boundaries if that's
what they're doing.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
But they're an interesting crew.
Now that you mention that theyhave this whole self-love
boundary thing down, they justkind of cruise into things.
They don't let the small stuffkind of get to them.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
For the most part they're insightful and we're
generalizing based off of what,like the five 20 year olds that
we have.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
however, it is interesting to look at how
differently they go about thingsoh, so much, yeah, yeah, and I
think that even with your pointabout lazy and that's what if I,
I guess, like a um, irrationalor unhealthy or whatever thought
that I have, if I'm not doingsomething, then I'm being lazy.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Right Like where did that come from?
Where did that idea come from?
I?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
don't know.
But I mean I've been absolutelysick as absolute shit.
Little bit, I mean kind of likeall week, but definitely like
last night into today, and I'vedone four loads of laundry
dishes and I'm about ready to gooutside and shovel some more
fucking snow because it's stillsnowing it's nice.
(20:38):
I don't know what's happening,it won't stop um, but it's just
because you know you.
Just I don't know you can't sitstill.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That's just part of your kind of hyperactivity.
I think you have excess motoractivity.
However, I'm just saying, likethat idea of like, even if it's
if I'm not reading a book, ifI'm scrolling my phone, I'll be
like, if I'm not somehow likebettering this human, that I,
that I am somehow lazy, yeah,like what if you just wanted to
(21:08):
nap?
Like what if you just like,genuinely, were exhausted and
didn't sleep on the you knowRight, I don't know Again
generalizing, but I'm justsaying in general, like that
idea that not every weekend hasto be filled, not every you know
no all the things.
We can really take some time, goinward, reflect, not hit the
(21:30):
ground running.
I mean I've worked out one timethis week.
You know how unusual that isfor me, but again, it's just
part of like this week, of likeI'm I'm almost like being
defiant, like I won't hurtmyself this week.
I just won't do it.
Good for you, I need a minute.
I need a breath.
Next week I'll be back.
She'll be back this week.
She needs a minute.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Needs a minute.
And you know what, if you're onit this week and you find out
that next week is your week,that you need a break, right,
give yourself some grace andjust kind of go for it For real.
Yeah.
So I guess the message is isthat if you haven't went into
2025, guns a-blazin' you're okay.
You're okay, there's nothingwrong, and I think there's even
(22:15):
probably more things right about, just like you said, going back
to basics, taking some time toreflect inward, chilling out
whatever it kind of comes downto you doing for you.
This is actually the time to doit, and then, when the sun
starts to come out, when itstarts to get warm, whenever
(22:35):
life starts to breed back intoour environment, then maybe you
go hardcore.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Right, you know spring opens up.
I'm going to start some likefacial massages, like some of
the other stuff that I want tojust try, but like right now it
doesn't feel like the time New,like some of the other stuff
that I want to just try, butlike right now, it doesn't feel
like the time New year, same me,and it's okay.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Just going back to the basics, and that's beautiful
.
I think that's a really goodmessage.
Honestly, you know what?
We don't have to betransformational all the time,
do we?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
No, and that's part of it too right, Like if you
feel like you had a prettytransformational year, like
that's not going to be everyyear of your life fully, you
know, hopefully.
And so I think there'ssomething to be said for that
too, of like rest and restore,you know, because eventually you
will have another year likethat and you're going to need
(23:27):
that too.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
A butterfly looks like it's dead in its cocoon
before it starts to come out andwiggle.
You know it?
Just it does.
We all need some time.
Take that time of rest and thencome out and be this beautiful
butterfly that then startsflying around the joint.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
That sounds like a butterfly.
Yeah, it does.
So.
No, it'll all work out, love it.
Well, all right, I'm gonna goplay dead caterpillar there you
go, right.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
No, it's like whenever it's like, you know,
changing into its thing from acaterpillar, I mean, to a
butterfly, like it's kind of ina cocoon for a bit and you
wouldn't know that there wasactually a live thing happening
there because it looks still onthe outside.
But you know, on the outsidethere's a lot happening, yeah,
and I think that even right nowwe may not be like again gung-ho
(24:20):
on a bunch of stuff, but stilla lot's happening.
We just need some time to kindof let some of that stuff just
settle, that's right, and thenwe'll be buzzing around the
place like a little butterflyagain.
That's right, here we go Readyfor spring Ready for spring
Right now.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I bet you are.
I'm actually looking at abeautiful day here in Charleston
.
Oh man, it's probably like 50degrees out.
If I had to guess, the sunshining, blue skies.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Yeah, it's so chilly.
Yeah, 50 degrees out, if I hadto guess, the sun shining skies,
yeah, yeah, I think that'sanother thing too.
That makes it hard is that it'snot we here where I'm at, and
by the time this podcast comesout, we'll be hit with another
winter storm, so there'll bethat as well.
Um, but we haven't had a chanceto kind of get back on a
regular routine.
That means school didn't startfor us on Monday.
I'm on Thursday, right, andschool's still out, and I don't
(25:11):
think it's going to be back,maybe tomorrow and then next
week if we get that next stormcoming in.
Who knows?
So again, I got to be not soharsh on myself or on what I
want to do if the environmentaround me is not permitting this
stuff from happening yeah, yeah, right, I'm sure there are a
lot of moms in your situation.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Actually I didn't think about that, but like if
you also haven't had school allweek, oof, talk about extra
layer of just hard.
Yeah, virtual school the firstweek of the first week back of
january out?
Yeah, it's, but that's why I'mout there shoveling whenever I'm
right, I feel like I First weekof January, ouch, yeah, that's
(25:53):
why I'm out there shovelingwhenever I feel like I should be
dead.
You're like I'll take theoutdoor activities, right, right
.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
So here we are, but to each their own.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Well, I hope you feel better.
Yeah, I hope that the kids haveschool next week.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Oh my gosh, Me too.
I think everyone around here ishoping that, because it's just
you just say that such cabinfever, and then again like how
can you be motivated wheneveryou just are stuck Right and a
situational stocks are differentthan mental stocks and right,
but both can feed into eachother.
So you again need to be awareof what's happening within your
(26:27):
environment as a whole, so thatway it doesn't exceed past that
point.
Yeah, so we'll get there.
We'll get there.
Take a break.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Happy 2025.
Ease into your new year.
Give yourself some grace.
I feel like we say that a lot.
We're basically like giveyourself a pass anytime you need
it, which is true, do it?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah, I think it is, and I think that we grew up in a
generation where that wasn'tokay and it didn't work out.
So right here we are.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
That's right.
Well, all right.
Well, that's all we got forthis week.
Until next week, y'all we out.
Welcome to Lylas.
If you grew up in the 80s and90s, you probably know what
Lylas stands for and, by default, this podcast is for you, hey,
hey, welcome to the new year,2025.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
What, happy New Year.
Happy New Year, yeah, it's abig year.
I mean, it seems like it's 2025, seems like a big number.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Right, it's a quarter of a century.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
So, 2025,.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Our 25 year high school reunion is this year.
Is that why you feel like it'sa big year?
I guess.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I just feel like You're just pumped to go back to
the castle.
Yeah, pumped to go back to thecastle, pumped to be a part of
all that again.
No, I just feel like maybe itis because we graduated in you
know an even year of 2000,.
But it's just like 25 justseems like a big number, like
whenever it was 1999 and we weregetting ready to go into like
(01:14):
Y2K and we had to reset all ofour computers and do all of this
crazy stuff.
Just to think that that wasactually 25 years ago is just
pretty wild, yeah, yeah.
It's mind boggling.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
We don't feel that old or it doesn't seem like that
much time has passed.
It does, but it doesn't.
It's a weird.
It's definitely weird to think25 years.
I mean, when our 20 yearreunion rolled around, I
remember thinking like 20 yearsand then we didn't get to have
it because it was the year ofCOVID and it was all planned and
(01:47):
ready to roll and then it allgot canceled.
But yeah, 25.
It is yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
It has a different ring to it.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It has a different, it has a different feel to it
for sure.
Yeah, I'm excited for this year.
I had a lot of feelings about2024.
It was an amazing year.
It was a hard year.
In some ways, it was aremarkable year.
You know, it's like it'sputting to bed.
It was just a big year initself.
I felt like it had a lot goingon in itself.
(02:19):
So I think that, in line withtoday's topic, I'm sort of
easing into 2025.
I am, you know, I'm not readyto, you know, jump right in
Hardcore, full force.
Let's do this, let's kick itoff Like I'm.
Just.
My mindset is way differentthis year.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I think that is because 2024 was heavy.
It did have a lot going on.
But 2024 changed me.
I think that's what.
It was heavy, it did have a lotgoing on 2024 changed me.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I think that's what it was, maybe.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
It changed me.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
How?
I guess it's good.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I mean, I guess every year changes us, but like just
the culmination of theexperiences that went down last
year?
Yeah, Definitely.
Yeah, Just a lot.
So easing into 2025 has been mymantra coming in.
What's today January 9th Ithink, and I still haven't
(03:19):
really like come up with like aNew Year's resolution, or you
know.
I got some like long-term goals, you know swirling around out
there, but nothing of like oh,I'm going to lose 10 pounds.
None of that kind of stuff ishappening over here?
None of like.
I'm going to run a marathon.
I mean, I, yeah, I'm going torun some runs this year.
(03:39):
I'm going to do some exercises.
My weight's going to fluctuatelike it has for 42 years and you
know, I don't, I don't know.
It's just a different vibe oflike not putting that pressure
on myself.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
this year to come up with something to better myself.
I think that's freeing just inand of itself, though, because I
think that we do get at timesbogged down by feeling the
pressure to have goals or how togo about like the whole setting
process, and so just to kind ofhave that freedom, just to be
like you know what we're justgoing, to kind of coast with
(04:15):
this for a little bit and justkind of see what the universe
presents or what kind of comesup, I mean it seems like it
allows for more flexibility justwithin our lives whenever we
don't have comes up.
I mean it seems like it allowsfor more flexibility just within
our lives whenever we don'thave some so many things that
are so rigidly set, yes, or thatkind of hold us down or that
can make us feel like a failureor a success or whatever.
(04:38):
It just has a little bit moreflexibility to whenever we have
some ease, I guess, yes.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I would agree with that and you know I like last
year I had my word and it kindof came up when we went to our
retreat, our meditation retreat,like picking a word and you
know, but I think we had alreadytalked about that before we
even did that at the retreat.
But this year I have set myword to be intentional because I
was like, if I am just reallyintentional about how I spend my
(05:08):
time, what I consume in everyway, shape and form, if I start
to be really intentional andalign that to some long term
goals, some things like nottrying to like, you know, happen
immediately.
But if I can start to alignsome of that, I feel like things
might feel easier.
(05:28):
I don't know, or goal you know,achieving goals might be a
little bit easier than than allthis pressure to like not to.
There's plenty of room forimprovement.
I'm not saying I'm perfect byany means and that there's not
room for improvement, but it'slike I'm just kind of tired of
like picking something and likethen getting the measuring stick
out and being like, ok, did I,did I do it?
(05:50):
I mean, yes, there's a time andplace for that and we have
definitely talked about goalsetting and measuring progress.
I think they're writing a bunchof stuff for work on it right
now, as we speak.
However, just right now I'mtrying to embrace this idea that
winter is really about likerest and restore and I'll start
setting some goals maybe in likea month or two, when I've had
(06:14):
some time to reflect and liketake it all in Because, like I
said, last year was a big year,a lot to process.
Just because the year enddoesn't mean you fully like
processed everything that hashappened, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Right, right, no, I definitely think that that's
true and just even in, like someof the silly memes or things
that you would see about, likejust burning sage, you know what
I mean To get rid of 2024.
Or you know those ones aboutcalling God to see if you got
like the prosperous plan insteadof like the dumpster fire one.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I just think that, yeah, I think that's right.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
It just speaks collectively, I think, to our
need, that we just need maybesometimes we just do need that
time just to process, to noteven reset, but just to kind of
like I don't know gradually,like you said, ease into things.
So that way we're being moreintentional, not as rigid, and
(07:13):
just allowing things to go alittle bit more with whatever
flow is happening within ourlife.
Now that has its own sword toit too, because then you can
become complacent I guess rightor you could, you know, slip
down like a lazy slope prettyeasy, or just become
non-motivated.
But I think that if you havethat keyword like intention,
(07:33):
then that serves as a block forany of the other sides of that
coin that you could findyourself on.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Right, cause I'm still going to be intentional
where I put my energy, you know,and for me it's kind of like
going this idea of going back tothe basics instead of adding
like something new, or, you know, like I'm going to be really
intentional to make sure that Iam getting those five basic
(08:08):
things that I set how many yearsago that I said.
I would do each day, like youknow, just going back to the
basics and even like honingthose skills, meditating for
longer amounts of time,increasing that, but like doing
the basics versus addingsomething new.
To me that just is where I'mfeeling the shift a little bit
this year is just really likedoubling down on the good things
(08:31):
I've put into place and thenlike almost honing those, if
that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Oh, definitely yeah, Resolidifying a good base so
that way whatever presentsitself can have a sturdy place
to kind of land.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Well, I just saw how impactful some of those
practices were in supporting methroughout this last year.
When I keep saying it's a bigyear, you know like a lot
happened good and bad and youneed I need those types of
supports in all of thosesituations, because I get
overstimulated and anxious andyou know, I have lots of things
that I have to pledge internallyand um, and so I need those
(09:09):
sort of like tools and once,once you see how effective they
are in helping you, it becomeskind of a no-brainer.
So it's like, okay, it's almostlike I feel like I'm in prepare
mode, but I'm like is that likesome sort of bad omen of what's
to come this year?
But it very much feels like goinward, get quiet, go back to
(09:31):
the basics you know what I meanLike that's the vibe that I'm
feeling for January of 2025.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I think it's perfect and I mean I think that that's a
month well spent on reflection.
I mean I don't know that justbecause it's a month well spent
on reflection, I mean I don'tknow that just because it's a
new year we just have to gogung-ho into things, like you
can make a goal for yourself anyday of the year.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
There's nothing special about January 1.
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Thank you.
So I think that that's one bigthing and I think we just have
to start.
When we're ready to start to dosomething, and whenever we feel
that internal kind of drive,push, motivation, then just
don't question it, just go withit, because you're getting that
sign of intention from somewhere.
(10:18):
And if right now it is justlike, let's just kind of you
know, it's winter chill time,let's just kind of chill
Hibernation, mm-hmm, you know,mm-hmm's just kind of chill
hibernation.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
You know it is kind of.
It's funny when you think aboutit.
We try.
It's funny that the new year,which falls for us in the middle
of winter you know this idea oflike rebirth and renew and and
you're like like coming out thegate which is really more of
like that springtime vibe, right, and and it's interesting.
I'm sure there've been studieson this, I have no idea, but
(10:51):
it's interesting because Iwonder if people would be more
successful at keeping new year'sresolutions if new year's fell
in like April 1st.
Oh, you know what I mean.
Like at a time where, like, youwant to get outside and it's
beautiful and you want toexercise more and walk more and
see your neighbors and have moresocial outings, and like all
those types of things that tendto kind of fall to the wayside
(11:15):
in the winter, because, why itdoesn't naturally lend itself to
a time of uh energy.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
it doesn't lend itself to a type of energy it is
in itself, in my opinion.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Just a different energy, a seasonal energy Like
not a let me go conquer theworld.
Chiseled abs.
I'm under four layers right now.
I don't need chiseled abs.
I'm not real motivated to do acrunch at the moment.
Right that winter, what didthey say?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Summer ball, I don't need chiseled abs, like I'm not
real motivated to do a crunch atthe moment.
Right, that winter, what didthey say?
Winter flume?
Yes, summer bods are made inthe wintertime, that's right.
I've got 12 inches of snowaround me right now.
My room is lit up by the white.
That's everywhere.
We don't need to put on lightsaround here.
If the sun's out, thereflection of the snow lights
our whole house.
(12:06):
Yes, lights our whole house.
Yeah, but it just doesn't makesense, and I think even from a
more and maybe this is kind of areach scientifically, but I
mean seasonal affective disorder, right, I mean, we're kind of
at its like peak, you know,during this kind of time right
here, and although it can happenin the summertime, for some
(12:26):
folks, it's still like who wasit that thought that January one
is the time for us just to besuper motivated and go out and
change our entire self, theworld or whatever else?
I mean, god bless you, butyou're 100% right.
The, the energy that is within,just doesn't necessarily
(12:47):
support that and I am just not abeliever in that.
You have to have.
There's no special date tostart something.
It's the day you start.
It is the special date.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Right, it's the day you believe you can achieve it.
That's the day you should startit Right.
Yes, the day you feel motivated, we're super aligned on that,
at least.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I feel like I just am like sliding into January.
I had like 47 unread textmessages this morning and I mean
I think that just indicatesonce again.
But I'm being very intentional,right, like I'm trying to read
more at night, like stay off myphone, like that is a byproduct
of like some of the other thingsthat I'm trying to
(13:29):
intentionally put my energy intothat I'm you know, but even
still I just feel like so farbehind for whatever reason, and
again it's that like measuringstick of you feel like everybody
else is, like you know, ontheir new fad diet, going to
have that summer bod in no timeand you're over here under four
layers having chocolate coveredpretzels for the third time this
(13:52):
week.
But you know, it's just, it iswhat it's January.
I'm just not feeling it thisyear Easing in.
We'll get there, we will getthere.
The pretzels will eventually begone, but we still have a lot
of snacks from the holidaysaround here.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah Well, and I mean , if that's part of it, that's
part of it, but it's just, Ithink, just being self-forgiving
in that you don't have to be onturbo mode.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Right you know, everything is a competition.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
No, and also the holidays are exhausting.
So if you think I mean, maybesome people do but if you think
that you're going to have, likeagain, a whole bunch of energy
that is going to be sustainedthroughout the month of January
after coming off of achallenging, heavy a year that
had a lot going on, and then youhave the holidays, which,
(14:43):
rightly or wrongly, are its ownbeast, you know that you feel
like you just have like ahangover from that just doesn't
go away in 24 hours, right, andthen you're just going to be
able to sustain that amount oflike energy and gumption for a
whole month.
I just think that that issetting yourself up for failure.
So if you've made resolutionsor goals and you find yourself
(15:05):
on the struggle bus or that youjust need to kind of like maybe
reevaluate plan, take a week,take two, take the whole month,
just to kind of get just chillacts, reflect inward, give
yourself some grace before youfeel like you just have to find
a whole bunch more within you.
(15:28):
Whenever it's already kind oflike at a third of a tank, I
just don't know how successfulyou're going to be if you start
that low.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I appreciate you saying that because it is
validating just to hear, aswomen and mothers and I'm sure
men feel this way too.
I'm not trying to like dog dadsor anything, but like December,
between Thanksgiving andChristmas, the amount of
logistical energy that my brainhad to figure out was, I mean it
(15:57):
just, and it is every year, butit is so much that it is so
exhausting and it is you kind ofexpect yourself.
You know you have like even ifyou take time off around the
holidays, you expect yourself tobe refreshed, but I don't care
who you are, like it'sexhausting.
And then that you come back andyour kids go back to school and
you go back to work and you'relike I never like actually took
(16:20):
a breath and just like even likehad the time to reflect on how
grateful you were for the timewith your family.
Even you know, like even toabsorb how grateful you are for
being able to travel and gettogether with family and having
people around that you genuinelywant to be with.
Like it's all just a rush, atleast for me, and maybe it's
(16:40):
because my family's all over thedamn place and it's a lot of
traveling involved, but it does.
It does wear on you.
Maybe it's just because we'reolder, damn place, and it's a
lot of traveling involved, butit it does, it does wear on you.
Maybe it's just because we'reolder too, but it's exhausting,
it is.
It's not probably part of thiswhole, like me just being a
little defiant and like I refuse, I will rest, damn it.
I'm tired.
(17:04):
I need a minute to take abreath.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Yeah, and it is.
I also like what you said it'sabout also.
Just we haven't even had timeto reflect on the positive.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Right, right.
You know and absorb it, becauseI think that's how you really
absorb it.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and that may even be from like the
whole year or anything else.
It's just like I don't know.
I think it's part of oursociety, I think it's part of
our culture, I think it's partof our self-imposed expectations
and getting into comparisongames or whatever else, but you
don't always got to be going athousand miles an hour, yeah.
(17:44):
Yeah, I don't know how much wewould actually gain by taking
some time to slow down, like Iused to tell my patients that a
lot of times, like if they werejust overwhelmed with things.
I say sometimes you have toslow down and catch up.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah, and I know that that doesn't kind of make sense
.
We say that all the time.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah, you've got to kind of find that pacing
mechanism within yourself inorder to be able to sustain
anything long term.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I love that.
That's such a great reminder.
I don't know about you, butthat Alabama song I'm in a hurry
just popped in my head when youwere talking about it, because
it is.
It was one of those songs thatI, you know, listen to on my run
mix a lot, because it is aboutlike you're always in a hurry to
the point where, like life'snot even fun you know, and like
(18:36):
if it's not fun, like what's thepurpose of all of this?
Like we have to slow down andreally like listen and absorb
and take time for ourselves, andfor some reason that became
like a shameful thing almost, orit was like growing up it was
you know, you were lazy, like ifyou, if you weren't.
And I think some people arejust like naturally busy bodies,
(18:57):
like they have to be moving,and I am not one of those people
and, um, you are, I would sayyou're a busy body Like you
can't sit still.
But just because I'm not thatway, doesn't make me lazy.
You know what I mean.
Like there, there's like thisif you actually take time to
rest, there's this like lazinessabout it.
I don't know.
The new generation doesn't seemto have problems with this.
(19:17):
They are very much all about,like you know, and which.
Good for them.
Good for them for recognizingand setting boundaries if that's
what they're doing.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
But they're an interesting crew.
Now that you mention that theyhave this whole self-love
boundary thing down, they justkind of cruise into things.
They don't let the small stuffkind of get to them.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
For the most part they're insightful and we're
generalizing based off of what,like the five 20 year olds that
we have.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
however, it is interesting to look at how
differently they go about thingsoh, so much, yeah, yeah, and I
think that even with your pointabout lazy and that's what if I,
I guess, like a um, irrationalor unhealthy or whatever thought
that I have, if I'm not doingsomething, then I'm being lazy.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Right Like where did that come from?
Where did that idea come from?
I?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
don't know.
But I mean I've been absolutelysick as absolute shit.
Little bit, I mean kind of likeall week, but definitely like
last night into today, and I'vedone four loads of laundry
dishes and I'm about ready to gooutside and shovel some more
fucking snow because it's stillsnowing it's nice.
(20:38):
I don't know what's happening,it won't stop um, but it's just
because you know you.
Just I don't know you can't sitstill.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That's just part of your kind of hyperactivity.
I think you have excess motoractivity.
However, I'm just saying, likethat idea of like, even if it's
if I'm not reading a book, ifI'm scrolling my phone, I'll be
like, if I'm not somehow likebettering this human, that I,
that I am somehow lazy, yeah,like what if you just wanted to
(21:08):
nap?
Like what if you just like,genuinely, were exhausted and
didn't sleep on the you knowRight, I don't know Again
generalizing, but I'm justsaying in general, like that
idea that not every weekend hasto be filled, not every you know
no all the things.
We can really take some time, goinward, reflect, not hit the
(21:30):
ground running.
I mean I've worked out one timethis week.
You know how unusual that isfor me, but again, it's just
part of like this week, of likeI'm I'm almost like being
defiant, like I won't hurtmyself this week.
I just won't do it.
Good for you, I need a minute.
I need a breath.
Next week I'll be back.
She'll be back this week.
She needs a minute.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Needs a minute.
And you know what, if you're onit this week and you find out
that next week is your week,that you need a break, right,
give yourself some grace andjust kind of go for it For real.
Yeah.
So I guess the message is isthat if you haven't went into
2025, guns a-blazin' you're okay.
You're okay, there's nothingwrong, and I think there's even
(22:15):
probably more things right about, just like you said, going back
to basics, taking some time toreflect inward, chilling out
whatever it kind of comes downto you doing for you.
This is actually the time to doit, and then, when the sun
starts to come out, when itstarts to get warm, whenever
(22:35):
life starts to breed back intoour environment, then maybe you
go hardcore.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Right, you know spring opens up.
I'm going to start some likefacial massages, like some of
the other stuff that I want tojust try, but like right now it
doesn't feel like the time New,like some of the other stuff
that I want to just try, butlike right now, it doesn't feel
like the time New year, same me,and it's okay.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Just going back to the basics, and that's beautiful
.
I think that's a really goodmessage.
Honestly, you know what?
We don't have to betransformational all the time,
do we?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
No, and that's part of it too right, Like if you
feel like you had a prettytransformational year, like
that's not going to be everyyear of your life fully, you
know, hopefully.
And so I think there'ssomething to be said for that
too, of like rest and restore,you know, because eventually you
will have another year likethat and you're going to need
(23:27):
that too.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
A butterfly looks like it's dead in its cocoon
before it starts to come out andwiggle.
You know it?
Just it does.
We all need some time.
Take that time of rest and thencome out and be this beautiful
butterfly that then startsflying around the joint.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
That sounds like a butterfly.
Yeah, it does.
So.
No, it'll all work out, love it.
Well, all right, I'm gonna goplay dead caterpillar there you
go, right.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
No, it's like whenever it's like, you know,
changing into its thing from acaterpillar, I mean, to a
butterfly, like it's kind of ina cocoon for a bit and you
wouldn't know that there wasactually a live thing happening
there because it looks still onthe outside.
But you know, on the outsidethere's a lot happening, yeah,
and I think that even right nowwe may not be like again gung-ho
(24:20):
on a bunch of stuff, but stilla lot's happening.
We just need some time to kindof let some of that stuff just
settle, that's right, and thenwe'll be buzzing around the
place like a little butterflyagain.
That's right, here we go Readyfor spring Ready for spring
Right now.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I bet you are.
I'm actually looking at abeautiful day here in Charleston
.
Oh man, it's probably like 50degrees out.
If I had to guess, the sunshining, blue skies.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Yeah, it's so chilly.
Yeah, 50 degrees out, if I hadto guess, the sun shining skies,
yeah, yeah, I think that'sanother thing too.
That makes it hard is that it'snot we here where I'm at, and
by the time this podcast comesout, we'll be hit with another
winter storm, so there'll bethat as well.
Um, but we haven't had a chanceto kind of get back on a
regular routine.
That means school didn't startfor us on Monday.
I'm on Thursday, right, andschool's still out, and I don't
(25:11):
think it's going to be back,maybe tomorrow and then next
week if we get that next stormcoming in.
Who knows?
So again, I got to be not soharsh on myself or on what I
want to do if the environmentaround me is not permitting this
stuff from happening yeah, yeah, right, I'm sure there are a
lot of moms in your situation.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Actually I didn't think about that, but like if
you also haven't had school allweek, oof, talk about extra
layer of just hard.
Yeah, virtual school the firstweek of the first week back of
january out?
Yeah, it's, but that's why I'mout there shoveling whenever I'm
right, I feel like I First weekof January, ouch, yeah, that's
(25:53):
why I'm out there shovelingwhenever I feel like I should be
dead.
You're like I'll take theoutdoor activities, right, right
.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
So here we are, but to each their own.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Well, I hope you feel better.
Yeah, I hope that the kids haveschool next week.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Oh my gosh, Me too.
I think everyone around here ishoping that, because it's just
you just say that such cabinfever, and then again like how
can you be motivated wheneveryou just are stuck Right and a
situational stocks are differentthan mental stocks and right,
but both can feed into eachother.
So you again need to be awareof what's happening within your
(26:27):
environment as a whole, so thatway it doesn't exceed past that
point.
Yeah, so we'll get there.
We'll get there.
Take a break.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Happy 2025.
Ease into your new year.
Give yourself some grace.
I feel like we say that a lot.
We're basically like giveyourself a pass anytime you need
it, which is true, do it?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah, I think it is, and I think that we grew up in a
generation where that wasn'tokay and it didn't work out.
So right here we are.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
That's right.
Well, all right.
Well, that's all we got forthis week.
Until next week, y'all we out.
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