January 27, 2025 • 21 mins
Ok 2025, things still aren't great... and maybe that's ok? But how do we reconcile the heaviness of what's happening with our daily lives? Join us on a heartfelt journey as we uncover the emotional roller coaster of starting afresh while grappling with life's unpredictability. From the unexpected trials of school closures to the heavy weight of California's fires, we share our stories and offer a comforting reminder to take each day as it comes. Listen as we emphasize the power of small victories and the profound effects of expressing gratitude, even in the face of adversity. Let's reconnect and reinforce our shared strength with the mantra, 'We got this,' as we chart a course back to productivity and forward momentum.
Please be sure to checkout our website for previous episodes, our psych-approved resource page, and connect with us on social media! All this and more at www.thelylaspodcast.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
welcome to the lilas.
If you grew up in the 80s and90s, you probably know what
lilas stands for and, by default, this podcast is for you.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
We're continuing to close in onseason four.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yep, episode 74, season four.
About to close this one out,which I'm excited for I'm
excited to have some new, fresh.
we have some new, fresh ideas,fresh thoughts, hopefully some
(00:50):
greater ways of interaction andcontinuing just to kind of do
the thing right.
Yeah, definitely some goals ofengaging more on social media.
You know I'll own that.
I've been terrible about socialmedia posting and engagement
and all the things, and sothat's been, you know, on my to
do list and my goal list for awhile now.
But, much like many things onmy list this new year, they're
(01:14):
all just kind of simmering there, they're like they're.
They're not really doinganything to achieve them and I
feel like, as we were sayingbefore, we hit record like it's
just been a real.
We talked about this last weektoo, but the start of this year,
you know you've seen all thememes like I've seen the 14 day
(01:35):
trial to 2025.
I'd like to cancel mysubscription and it does feel a
little that way and just theheaviness of the of our country
right now.
Um, because whether you areexcited about the change of
power that's about to take placeor you're not, you know there's
a lot of energy around that,because you got half of this
(01:58):
country that's not excited andhalf that is, and so just like
the energy that that brings toeverything, and then, on top of
that, you have these devastatingfires that are taking place out
in California and Los Angelesand I don't know like I had
definitely gone down way toomany rabbit holes, watched way
too many videos.
(02:18):
You know all these likeGoFundMes and and things just
devastating loss and it's hard.
It's hard to like.
I don't know.
I'm having a really hard timesort of getting myself moving
and grooving this year.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah, I really like that we have this kind of
continued segue from our firstepisode that we released the
easing into the new year withyou know, kind of patience for
ourselves, for allowingourselves some breathing room to
not kind of go at things gungho and for us to be into this
(02:55):
almost a you know another weeklater, almost at the end of
January, to still kind of feel,like you said, this heaviness.
I mean there's a lot ofuncertainty that's happening in
the world.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
There's a lot and just the impact that's going to
have on not just the West Coastbut obviously, like everything
in our nation will be impactedwhen you have that catastrophic
kind of loss.
And then you think about theother areas of this country,
like Western North Carolina,that are still, you know,
reeling from hurricane and thatthere's so much need there too I
(03:29):
mean down in Tampa, Florida andyou're just it's hard to sort
of summon this excitement.
I think right now, just becausethere is so much uncertainty,
and while I haven't been feelinga ton of anxiety, I've been
having a lot of anxious thoughtsand I think it's not like the
feeling so much, but justanxious, like thinking about,
(03:50):
like you know, the people wholost I don't know anybody in
California, but like just howdevastating that would be to
come home.
I know what it's like to packall my shit up and wait for a
hurricane and you know you doalways say like a little, oh,
good luck, love you house,before you walk out the door
with your prized possessions.
(04:10):
But you know you expect to comehome to something when you have
a fire, like there's justnothing left, and it's so
devastating, yeah, and all theanimals.
You know the real animal loverin me.
I'm thinking about all thosewild animals living up in those
mountains.
I'm just like it's, it's Idon't know, it's heavy.
So I think what I wanted to talkabout today was just like what
(04:33):
do we do?
What do you do?
Because normally I'd be likelet's get back in a routine.
But, like you made a good point, kids haven't been in school
where you live.
Like, what routine?
You've had your kids since whatI don't know, 47th 2001, um, so
(04:55):
that's the other thing.
Like, god bless the parents outthere that have been also
keeping their children home forsnow days.
I had a sick kid home yesterdayand that was enough to derail
me, so you know he didn't evenfeel good.
All he had to do was lay there.
But he got healthy kids at homeand they've been home for 72
(05:16):
days straight yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I mean, that's what I just have to say.
It's just, it's just a wholelot and I don't know.
I think it's almost like a dayby day thing, you know, you just
almost have to find what is ittoday that has opened up
something like an opportunityfor me to be able to do just
today?
And I think that that has beenwhat I've tried to focus on,
(05:42):
especially since the new year,because it has been so out of
schedule, out of routine, out ofcontrol, unsteady, uncertain
anywhere, that you can kind ofput in socks how about socks?
Let's just can we say socks?
Right, that it's been.
It is hard to kind of get backin there, and I'm a person of
(06:05):
schedule, like I really like tobe on a schedule and on a
routine, I like to have thingskind of done.
I do my list and it's been notthat way.
And so what I've tried to do onthose days is just find what
hole has presented today for meto be able to have an
opportunity to walk through, andeven if that hole is not as
(06:30):
wide as I would like for it tobe, you know, because of
circumstance, situation orwhatever, I just have to,
whenever I am entering it, beappreciative for the fact that
it's even present.
And so, as very simple thingslike the ability to get out of a
driveway is a hole, you knowwhat I mean To get and be able
(06:52):
to go to a school or whatever,that's a hole.
Or, from a health kind ofstandpoint, for me to be able to
run right now, because the snowhere is very thick and there's
ice underneath of it and then ithasn't gotten warm enough to
really melt a whole lot of it.
So for me to run it's like I'mhigh stepping the entire time
and you're sinking, and thenthere's ice, and so it's not the
(07:15):
most ideal kind of thing, andso my hole has not been as wide
as I would like it to be tospend as much time or collect as
much miles or whatever.
So I have to just be aware thatwhatever I've been given is the
gift for the day, and so that'swhat I've tried to kind of
focus on, even if that's just abreath or like a moment between
(07:38):
like laundry, or running fromplace to place, or chore to
chore, or responding to all thetext messages or emails or
whatever.
It's just finding that momentof breath or two whenever it's
not present.
I guess that's what I've beentrying.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, kind of check it like a micro checks and
giving yourself credit, you know, for getting anything
accomplished.
I think that's the biggestthing is like I get even more
down on myself because you'relike I'm like you're not even
doing like your basics, likeyou're not working out every day
, like you're just not doingthat, what wrong?
Like just that, um, and so youknow it's just hard.
(08:17):
It becomes like this rippleeffect, right, you don't, you
don't all do this, and thenyou're like, oh, I can't do it
again.
Today you start like that whole, like self-fulfilled prophecy
of like, um, you know, I've justI'm off the bandwagon and I
might as well, just like youknow, not do anything, I don't
know.
It just kind of gets a littlecyclical, at least for me.
(08:40):
I'm calling myself out Like Ijust haven't been doing the
things, I haven't been gettingmy sunlight, like I know that's
important and right.
When you think it's notimportant, like go a couple days
without it and then tell meit's not important, it
completely changes your affectand your motivation and, um,
your head space.
And so today I got out, I gotsome sunlight, I went to a run
(09:00):
for the first time in weeks and,like you know, it's just the.
I went for a 15 minute run.
I was like 15 minutes you can doanything for 15 minutes just to
like make myself do it to seeif it worked, and I'll be damned
I feel better, but it has beena incredibly slow start and I
think it's just I find myselfwanting to spend a lot more time
like almost just like in prayerand like reflective, and like I
(09:26):
don't really want to be aroundpeople.
I don't have a lot of likeenergy for small talk right now.
I'm finding it's just more oflike and I don't.
Maybe I'm just phase cycle,phase, I don't know, but just in
general, like these last coupleweeks have just been really
difficult.
So I'm just curious if, likeeverybody feels this way, is
(09:50):
this just I'm an empath and so Ido feel like I take on other
people, like when other peopleare struggling, like I tend to
struggle for some reason, Evenif I don't have something to
struggle Like I just am very Idon't even know if that's the
right word empathic, but like inthat way, yeah, and so I don't
(10:12):
know trying to like do whatlittle bit that I can you know
20 bucks here, you know whateverto here and there, just to
different ones, to differentthings, just to try to help.
It just feels so impossible.
But you also feel like youshould be doing something.
Does everybody feel that way?
Is it just me?
I know my husband does.
No, I take that back.
(10:33):
He did donate the other day tothis old lady that he watched on
that he saw on Instagram thisguy does like mow.
He goes and mows people's yardsit's called SB mowing and it's
really cool.
Actually, he goes to like, rundown homes and like, like,
really like, just tears it up,right Like, makes it look
amazing, and so he did this forthis old woman.
(10:54):
And then up, right like, makesit look amazing, and so he did
this for this old woman.
And then, like, he was, youknow, like this whole thing.
So he started a gofundme andthen jeff, you know, came to
tell me he's like, so I donatedto this gofundme because I do
this shit all the time, and sowhen he does it, I was like what
I was like.
This struck a chord with you andthe like.
You know gajillion people in lathat just lost their home to a
fire.
Like you're're like, you knowit's interesting.
(11:16):
What right?
What?
Like hugs at our heartstrings.
Yeah, it is Um, but, and Ithink probably too.
You know, I was like I'm goingto be so laser focused on what I
allow myself to consume, evenlike content wise, and you know
I've just like I have I havebeen on a lot of fire content.
(11:38):
I feel very knowledgeable aboutthe fires in Los Angeles From.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Charleston, south Carolina, right.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
And so like again, but like being mindful of, like
you're consuming all this andthis is not helping these
feelings of like impending doomand gloom right, like, cut it
off, don't be a junkie and keeptapping the vein Right, but it's
so hard, it's so hard.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
It is, especially with the access that we have to
it.
You know, it's just I don'tknow.
Some days I have to like lookat my phone, which is
technically the device that itevolved into, right, like right,
and just see it as being aphone instead of a source of
information.
And so if I'm not great idea,well, I mean, I that's what I
(12:28):
try to do sometimes like if Inotice that I'm spending a whole
lot of time going down some ofthose rabbit holes or whatever.
I just have to remember thisdevice is technically a
telephone, that's what it wasdesigned to be.
Now it has all these otherreally fun bells and whistles
that have really given us allthese dopamine hits or whatever
else, convenience their lives,all the things.
But its original design was tobe a telephone, and so if I'm
(12:53):
using this as anything else,then I probably need to kind of
like step away from it, stepaway from it yeah.
And so.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I mean, it has so many functions, right, like
calculator.
I probably use my calculator 10times a day.
Like Right, you know there areother functions, but I love what
you're saying is that you'rereally putting like a boundary
on what you utilize it for.
You'll be happy to know we haveput some boundaries in place
with the kids and theirtechnology, and no weekday iPads
(13:25):
, all right, yeah, and while itwas a struggle at first, it has
had positive impact overall forall of us.
I think, like what?
Yeah, what have you noticed?
Like more conversation, likebetter moods and it's easier to
get the kids out the door, likeeven if they're watching tv,
(13:46):
versus watching the ipad.
Like you wouldn't think that,but it's almost like they're in
like tunnel vision.
If it's the ipad, if it's thetv, we're all kind of around and
still talking and, like youknow, we're all watching the
same thing.
We can comment on it.
It's the iPad and if it's theTV, we're all kind of around and
still talking and, like youknow, we're all watching the
same thing.
We can comment on it, it's justdifferent.
It is, yeah, you know, it'smuch more social.
Like, on what planet?
Think back to like the 90s?
Would we be like you know what?
(14:06):
I'm just happy if the kids arewatching TV and not the iPad.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Okay, you know, it was all about like oh, your kids
watch too much TV, it's goingto rot their brain.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And now we're just like could you pick the TV
please?
That'd be great.
But that is true.
I mean, it's the rule ofproximity all over again, you
know, yeah, so kind of crazy.
But, um, just technology, yeah,I love that Putting the
boundaries on it.
We can come back to that a lotabout boundaries, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah, so I have to sometimes just say the phone is
just a phone, right?
You know, I'm not going to useit as a source of information or
dives or anything else.
And then, as we talked about Ithink it was in this season
whenever we talked aboutmonitors and grounding, it was
one of our um first episodes, Ithink, of season four.
I rely on those things a lotand some of them come from songs
(14:58):
or whatever.
But whenever I think aboutsuffering and you know all of
the global suffering that'shappening within, like you said,
western North Carolina, some ofthose, you know Tennessee,
california, let's India you knowwho knows what's going on.
You know Africa, where there'sstill tons of awful human rights
things, the Middle East, right,I think that we can feel like
(15:22):
there's so much of it or so muchmore of it, and maybe there is,
maybe there isn't, maybe it'sjust there's more people and
more access to it.
But there's a line in a musicalthat, um again, I use as a
mantra whenever I find myselfgetting sucked into the
suffering hole.
Yeah, and I'm gonna change itjust a little bit because it'll
(15:45):
be out of context, there willalways be people suffering.
So this it's actually fromJesus Christ Superstar, and the
line goes there will be poor,always pathetically struggling,
but look at the good things thatyou've got.
And so it continues.
This is Jesus saying this Thinkwhy you still have me, see why
you still.
You know, whatever I mean, I'llbe gone.
(16:08):
I'll be gone and you'll be lost.
And so I just kind of thinkagain, modify that line.
There will, will always besuffering.
It's part of the humancondition.
You know as being here, butagain, with your word of
intention, what are we shiftingtowards, or what is it that we
can control or contribute to?
(16:28):
That helps us to feel likewe're part of a different thread
that's burning, you know,instead of the negative one.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yeah, that actually brings up a good point.
I was thinking about, of course, another video I watched of
this woman that was goingthrough the rubble ashes of her
house and she had the bestattitude and she was smiling.
And the guy was like why areyou smiling?
And she was like I mean, youknow, but like I'm still alive,
you know, like she had lost herhusband or kid, had special
(17:00):
needs, like.
But she was just like Icouldn't have a choice, like I
can.
My response you know how Irespond to this and I was like
it's just there.
She was like in it.
You know, these situationsbring out the best in humanity
and you really get to see whatwe're capable of as humans in
these you know difficultsituations.
(17:21):
And I thought that is when yousaid that.
I was like that's such abeautiful reminder that we get
to choose and instead of likeabsorbing people's pain, like
choosing right, choosing to lookfor like the good and taking
(17:41):
that instead to focus on, yeah,all these same things I keep
telling my six-year-old when shehas nightmares, right, right.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yeah, I don't think people.
I think that suffering is is.
This'll sound awful, probably,if there's people listening to
this.
Please feel free to debate.
We love this.
Give us some interaction withinthis.
I think that suffering is achosen state.
We go through situations thatare challenging.
I think you choose to say andsuffer in something.
You choose to stay and wallow.
(18:10):
You know there's, it's evenlike the way out of suffering is
through acceptance, like it'spart of all, like ancient
religions is that there's thiswhole element of suffering that
happens, but the key to it ismoving, not with acceptance and
gratitude so much.
It's just an acknowledgementthat this sucks.
Moving not with acceptance andgratitude so much.
It's just an acknowledgementthat this sucks.
(18:30):
And so if I want to stay inthis position, then I'm
acknowledging that I'm stayingin this state of suffering and
that that, at that point, is achoice, instead of taking some
other step out.
I like that.
Pretty big rabbit holes.
It's a choice, it's a choice.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
It's a choice.
Good reminders, though, becauseI do feel like it's.
I don't know, maybe I literally, maybe I'm on an island all by
myself.
Everybody else is feeling realgung-ho to the start of this new
year, but it, I don't know,it'll be interesting.
There's just a lot ofuncertainty and I think,
choosing just to look for allthe good that's going to occur,
(19:08):
there's going to be some bad andkind of like accepting that,
like you're saying, likeaccepting, like batch, that's
going to happen.
Things we don't agree withthey're going to happen.
And what opportunities arethose situations going to
present for us to show morehumanness, more kindness, more
love to people?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah, yeah, and to yourself in the same return.
So yeah, I don't know that'sjust where, and I do think that
it's a collective.
I don't think you're the onlyone feeling this way.
I haven't seen anybody wearinga smile and being jolly or super
motivated, or.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, I haven't either, which I guess is why
this came in my mind of like Ican't be the only one, right?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Nobody really seems super like hype right now.
No, everything's like mutedit's very, very muted.
And I do think that it's just, Idon't know, I we always have
these expectations, andexpectations are those planned
failures that we have for like anew year, this is going to be
everything, failures that wehave for like a new year, this
is going to be everything, andwe just need to put that down.
Can we just?
Can we stop?
You know, it's just anotherevery.
(20:14):
The only permanency is constantchange, and so let's just kind
of go with this and be patientand kind, acknowledge what's
there, what holes exist, andthen just try to breathe.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
And if you're like me and have kind of let yourself
down on your daily habits, youknow your rituals then start
back with one thing.
Today I started back withsunlight and a 15-minute jog.
Technically, I guess, did twothings, that's it.
Start there.
Start with one thing today andthen see if we can't build some
momentum.
(20:51):
That's my plan anyway.
Yeah, just one thing.
Yeah, we'll add something elsetomorrow, maybe a 30 minute
workout tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Maybe, but then we'll just be.
It's always just be happy forthe one.
If you get the, if you get thewhole, be happy for the whole.
The size of it may not evenmatter, just be happy for the
hole, the size of it may noteven matter, just be happy for
the hole.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Well, and sometimes it's hard to go from like
especially if you have been onvacation or, like I said, been
in a rut.
It's hard to go from like zeroto hero, like to jump right back
into all your things, andthat's kind of what I was trying
to do.
So I think that's, you know,another lesson learned.
Like start with one thing, likeadd one thing back, you know,
add the next thing.
Yeah, yeah, totally, I agree Ahundred percent.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
We got this, we got this.
All right, that's all we gotfor this week.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Until next week, y'all Wireless Out.
welcome to the lilas.
If you grew up in the 80s and90s, you probably know what
lilas stands for and, by default, this podcast is for you.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
We're continuing to close in onseason four.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yep, episode 74, season four.
About to close this one out,which I'm excited for I'm
excited to have some new, fresh.
we have some new, fresh ideas,fresh thoughts, hopefully some
(00:50):
greater ways of interaction andcontinuing just to kind of do
the thing right.
Yeah, definitely some goals ofengaging more on social media.
You know I'll own that.
I've been terrible about socialmedia posting and engagement
and all the things, and sothat's been, you know, on my to
do list and my goal list for awhile now.
But, much like many things onmy list this new year, they're
(01:14):
all just kind of simmering there, they're like they're.
They're not really doinganything to achieve them and I
feel like, as we were sayingbefore, we hit record like it's
just been a real.
We talked about this last weektoo, but the start of this year,
you know you've seen all thememes like I've seen the 14 day
(01:35):
trial to 2025.
I'd like to cancel mysubscription and it does feel a
little that way and just theheaviness of the of our country
right now.
Um, because whether you areexcited about the change of
power that's about to take placeor you're not, you know there's
a lot of energy around that,because you got half of this
(01:58):
country that's not excited andhalf that is, and so just like
the energy that that brings toeverything, and then, on top of
that, you have these devastatingfires that are taking place out
in California and Los Angelesand I don't know like I had
definitely gone down way toomany rabbit holes, watched way
too many videos.
(02:18):
You know all these likeGoFundMes and and things just
devastating loss and it's hard.
It's hard to like.
I don't know.
I'm having a really hard timesort of getting myself moving
and grooving this year.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah, I really like that we have this kind of
continued segue from our firstepisode that we released the
easing into the new year withyou know, kind of patience for
ourselves, for allowingourselves some breathing room to
not kind of go at things gungho and for us to be into this
(02:55):
almost a you know another weeklater, almost at the end of
January, to still kind of feel,like you said, this heaviness.
I mean there's a lot ofuncertainty that's happening in
the world.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
There's a lot and just the impact that's going to
have on not just the West Coastbut obviously, like everything
in our nation will be impactedwhen you have that catastrophic
kind of loss.
And then you think about theother areas of this country,
like Western North Carolina,that are still, you know,
reeling from hurricane and thatthere's so much need there too I
(03:29):
mean down in Tampa, Florida andyou're just it's hard to sort
of summon this excitement.
I think right now, just becausethere is so much uncertainty,
and while I haven't been feelinga ton of anxiety, I've been
having a lot of anxious thoughtsand I think it's not like the
feeling so much, but justanxious, like thinking about,
(03:50):
like you know, the people wholost I don't know anybody in
California, but like just howdevastating that would be to
come home.
I know what it's like to packall my shit up and wait for a
hurricane and you know you doalways say like a little, oh,
good luck, love you house,before you walk out the door
with your prized possessions.
(04:10):
But you know you expect to comehome to something when you have
a fire, like there's justnothing left, and it's so
devastating, yeah, and all theanimals.
You know the real animal loverin me.
I'm thinking about all thosewild animals living up in those
mountains.
I'm just like it's, it's Idon't know, it's heavy.
So I think what I wanted to talkabout today was just like what
(04:33):
do we do?
What do you do?
Because normally I'd be likelet's get back in a routine.
But, like you made a good point, kids haven't been in school
where you live.
Like, what routine?
You've had your kids since whatI don't know, 47th 2001, um, so
(04:55):
that's the other thing.
Like, god bless the parents outthere that have been also
keeping their children home forsnow days.
I had a sick kid home yesterdayand that was enough to derail
me, so you know he didn't evenfeel good.
All he had to do was lay there.
But he got healthy kids at homeand they've been home for 72
(05:16):
days straight yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I mean, that's what I just have to say.
It's just, it's just a wholelot and I don't know.
I think it's almost like a dayby day thing, you know, you just
almost have to find what is ittoday that has opened up
something like an opportunityfor me to be able to do just
today?
And I think that that has beenwhat I've tried to focus on,
(05:42):
especially since the new year,because it has been so out of
schedule, out of routine, out ofcontrol, unsteady, uncertain
anywhere, that you can kind ofput in socks how about socks?
Let's just can we say socks?
Right, that it's been.
It is hard to kind of get backin there, and I'm a person of
(06:05):
schedule, like I really like tobe on a schedule and on a
routine, I like to have thingskind of done.
I do my list and it's been notthat way.
And so what I've tried to do onthose days is just find what
hole has presented today for meto be able to have an
opportunity to walk through, andeven if that hole is not as
(06:30):
wide as I would like for it tobe, you know, because of
circumstance, situation orwhatever, I just have to,
whenever I am entering it, beappreciative for the fact that
it's even present.
And so, as very simple thingslike the ability to get out of a
driveway is a hole, you knowwhat I mean To get and be able
(06:52):
to go to a school or whatever,that's a hole.
Or, from a health kind ofstandpoint, for me to be able to
run right now, because the snowhere is very thick and there's
ice underneath of it and then ithasn't gotten warm enough to
really melt a whole lot of it.
So for me to run it's like I'mhigh stepping the entire time
and you're sinking, and thenthere's ice, and so it's not the
(07:15):
most ideal kind of thing, andso my hole has not been as wide
as I would like it to be tospend as much time or collect as
much miles or whatever.
So I have to just be aware thatwhatever I've been given is the
gift for the day, and so that'swhat I've tried to kind of
focus on, even if that's just abreath or like a moment between
(07:38):
like laundry, or running fromplace to place, or chore to
chore, or responding to all thetext messages or emails or
whatever.
It's just finding that momentof breath or two whenever it's
not present.
I guess that's what I've beentrying.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, kind of check it like a micro checks and
giving yourself credit, you know, for getting anything
accomplished.
I think that's the biggestthing is like I get even more
down on myself because you'relike I'm like you're not even
doing like your basics, likeyou're not working out every day
, like you're just not doingthat, what wrong?
Like just that, um, and so youknow it's just hard.
(08:17):
It becomes like this rippleeffect, right, you don't, you
don't all do this, and thenyou're like, oh, I can't do it
again.
Today you start like that whole, like self-fulfilled prophecy
of like, um, you know, I've justI'm off the bandwagon and I
might as well, just like youknow, not do anything, I don't
know.
It just kind of gets a littlecyclical, at least for me.
(08:40):
I'm calling myself out Like Ijust haven't been doing the
things, I haven't been gettingmy sunlight, like I know that's
important and right.
When you think it's notimportant, like go a couple days
without it and then tell meit's not important, it
completely changes your affectand your motivation and, um,
your head space.
And so today I got out, I gotsome sunlight, I went to a run
(09:00):
for the first time in weeks and,like you know, it's just the.
I went for a 15 minute run.
I was like 15 minutes you can doanything for 15 minutes just to
like make myself do it to seeif it worked, and I'll be damned
I feel better, but it has beena incredibly slow start and I
think it's just I find myselfwanting to spend a lot more time
like almost just like in prayerand like reflective, and like I
(09:26):
don't really want to be aroundpeople.
I don't have a lot of likeenergy for small talk right now.
I'm finding it's just more oflike and I don't.
Maybe I'm just phase cycle,phase, I don't know, but just in
general, like these last coupleweeks have just been really
difficult.
So I'm just curious if, likeeverybody feels this way, is
(09:50):
this just I'm an empath and so Ido feel like I take on other
people, like when other peopleare struggling, like I tend to
struggle for some reason, Evenif I don't have something to
struggle Like I just am very Idon't even know if that's the
right word empathic, but like inthat way, yeah, and so I don't
(10:12):
know trying to like do whatlittle bit that I can you know
20 bucks here, you know whateverto here and there, just to
different ones, to differentthings, just to try to help.
It just feels so impossible.
But you also feel like youshould be doing something.
Does everybody feel that way?
Is it just me?
I know my husband does.
No, I take that back.
(10:33):
He did donate the other day tothis old lady that he watched on
that he saw on Instagram thisguy does like mow.
He goes and mows people's yardsit's called SB mowing and it's
really cool.
Actually, he goes to like, rundown homes and like, like,
really like, just tears it up,right Like, makes it look
amazing, and so he did this forthis old woman.
(10:54):
And then up, right like, makesit look amazing, and so he did
this for this old woman.
And then, like, he was, youknow, like this whole thing.
So he started a gofundme andthen jeff, you know, came to
tell me he's like, so I donatedto this gofundme because I do
this shit all the time, and sowhen he does it, I was like what
I was like.
This struck a chord with you andthe like.
You know gajillion people in lathat just lost their home to a
fire.
Like you're're like, you knowit's interesting.
(11:16):
What right?
What?
Like hugs at our heartstrings.
Yeah, it is Um, but, and Ithink probably too.
You know, I was like I'm goingto be so laser focused on what I
allow myself to consume, evenlike content wise, and you know
I've just like I have I havebeen on a lot of fire content.
(11:38):
I feel very knowledgeable aboutthe fires in Los Angeles From.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Charleston, south Carolina, right.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
And so like again, but like being mindful of, like
you're consuming all this andthis is not helping these
feelings of like impending doomand gloom right, like, cut it
off, don't be a junkie and keeptapping the vein Right, but it's
so hard, it's so hard.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
It is, especially with the access that we have to
it.
You know, it's just I don'tknow.
Some days I have to like lookat my phone, which is
technically the device that itevolved into, right, like right,
and just see it as being aphone instead of a source of
information.
And so if I'm not great idea,well, I mean, I that's what I
(12:28):
try to do sometimes like if Inotice that I'm spending a whole
lot of time going down some ofthose rabbit holes or whatever.
I just have to remember thisdevice is technically a
telephone, that's what it wasdesigned to be.
Now it has all these otherreally fun bells and whistles
that have really given us allthese dopamine hits or whatever
else, convenience their lives,all the things.
But its original design was tobe a telephone, and so if I'm
(12:53):
using this as anything else,then I probably need to kind of
like step away from it, stepaway from it yeah.
And so.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I mean, it has so many functions, right, like
calculator.
I probably use my calculator 10times a day.
Like Right, you know there areother functions, but I love what
you're saying is that you'rereally putting like a boundary
on what you utilize it for.
You'll be happy to know we haveput some boundaries in place
with the kids and theirtechnology, and no weekday iPads
(13:25):
, all right, yeah, and while itwas a struggle at first, it has
had positive impact overall forall of us.
I think, like what?
Yeah, what have you noticed?
Like more conversation, likebetter moods and it's easier to
get the kids out the door, likeeven if they're watching tv,
(13:46):
versus watching the ipad.
Like you wouldn't think that,but it's almost like they're in
like tunnel vision.
If it's the ipad, if it's thetv, we're all kind of around and
still talking and, like youknow, we're all watching the
same thing.
We can comment on it.
It's the iPad and if it's theTV, we're all kind of around and
still talking and, like youknow, we're all watching the
same thing.
We can comment on it, it's justdifferent.
It is, yeah, you know, it'smuch more social.
Like, on what planet?
Think back to like the 90s?
Would we be like you know what?
(14:06):
I'm just happy if the kids arewatching TV and not the iPad.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Okay, you know, it was all about like oh, your kids
watch too much TV, it's goingto rot their brain.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And now we're just like could you pick the TV
please?
That'd be great.
But that is true.
I mean, it's the rule ofproximity all over again, you
know, yeah, so kind of crazy.
But, um, just technology, yeah,I love that Putting the
boundaries on it.
We can come back to that a lotabout boundaries, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah, so I have to sometimes just say the phone is
just a phone, right?
You know, I'm not going to useit as a source of information or
dives or anything else.
And then, as we talked about Ithink it was in this season
whenever we talked aboutmonitors and grounding, it was
one of our um first episodes, Ithink, of season four.
I rely on those things a lotand some of them come from songs
(14:58):
or whatever.
But whenever I think aboutsuffering and you know all of
the global suffering that'shappening within, like you said,
western North Carolina, some ofthose, you know Tennessee,
california, let's India you knowwho knows what's going on.
You know Africa, where there'sstill tons of awful human rights
things, the Middle East, right,I think that we can feel like
(15:22):
there's so much of it or so muchmore of it, and maybe there is,
maybe there isn't, maybe it'sjust there's more people and
more access to it.
But there's a line in a musicalthat, um again, I use as a
mantra whenever I find myselfgetting sucked into the
suffering hole.
Yeah, and I'm gonna change itjust a little bit because it'll
(15:45):
be out of context, there willalways be people suffering.
So this it's actually fromJesus Christ Superstar, and the
line goes there will be poor,always pathetically struggling,
but look at the good things thatyou've got.
And so it continues.
This is Jesus saying this Thinkwhy you still have me, see why
you still.
You know, whatever I mean, I'llbe gone.
(16:08):
I'll be gone and you'll be lost.
And so I just kind of thinkagain, modify that line.
There will, will always besuffering.
It's part of the humancondition.
You know as being here, butagain, with your word of
intention, what are we shiftingtowards, or what is it that we
can control or contribute to?
(16:28):
That helps us to feel likewe're part of a different thread
that's burning, you know,instead of the negative one.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yeah, that actually brings up a good point.
I was thinking about, of course, another video I watched of
this woman that was goingthrough the rubble ashes of her
house and she had the bestattitude and she was smiling.
And the guy was like why areyou smiling?
And she was like I mean, youknow, but like I'm still alive,
you know, like she had lost herhusband or kid, had special
(17:00):
needs, like.
But she was just like Icouldn't have a choice, like I
can.
My response you know how Irespond to this and I was like
it's just there.
She was like in it.
You know, these situationsbring out the best in humanity
and you really get to see whatwe're capable of as humans in
these you know difficultsituations.
(17:21):
And I thought that is when yousaid that.
I was like that's such abeautiful reminder that we get
to choose and instead of likeabsorbing people's pain, like
choosing right, choosing to lookfor like the good and taking
(17:41):
that instead to focus on, yeah,all these same things I keep
telling my six-year-old when shehas nightmares, right, right.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yeah, I don't think people.
I think that suffering is is.
This'll sound awful, probably,if there's people listening to
this.
Please feel free to debate.
We love this.
Give us some interaction withinthis.
I think that suffering is achosen state.
We go through situations thatare challenging.
I think you choose to say andsuffer in something.
You choose to stay and wallow.
(18:10):
You know there's, it's evenlike the way out of suffering is
through acceptance, like it'spart of all, like ancient
religions is that there's thiswhole element of suffering that
happens, but the key to it ismoving, not with acceptance and
gratitude so much.
It's just an acknowledgementthat this sucks.
Moving not with acceptance andgratitude so much.
It's just an acknowledgementthat this sucks.
(18:30):
And so if I want to stay inthis position, then I'm
acknowledging that I'm stayingin this state of suffering and
that that, at that point, is achoice, instead of taking some
other step out.
I like that.
Pretty big rabbit holes.
It's a choice, it's a choice.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
It's a choice.
Good reminders, though, becauseI do feel like it's.
I don't know, maybe I literally, maybe I'm on an island all by
myself.
Everybody else is feeling realgung-ho to the start of this new
year, but it, I don't know,it'll be interesting.
There's just a lot ofuncertainty and I think,
choosing just to look for allthe good that's going to occur,
(19:08):
there's going to be some bad andkind of like accepting that,
like you're saying, likeaccepting, like batch, that's
going to happen.
Things we don't agree withthey're going to happen.
And what opportunities arethose situations going to
present for us to show morehumanness, more kindness, more
love to people?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah, yeah, and to yourself in the same return.
So yeah, I don't know that'sjust where, and I do think that
it's a collective.
I don't think you're the onlyone feeling this way.
I haven't seen anybody wearinga smile and being jolly or super
motivated, or.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, I haven't either, which I guess is why
this came in my mind of like Ican't be the only one, right?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Nobody really seems super like hype right now.
No, everything's like mutedit's very, very muted.
And I do think that it's just, Idon't know, I we always have
these expectations, andexpectations are those planned
failures that we have for like anew year, this is going to be
everything, failures that wehave for like a new year, this
is going to be everything, andwe just need to put that down.
Can we just?
Can we stop?
You know, it's just anotherevery.
(20:14):
The only permanency is constantchange, and so let's just kind
of go with this and be patientand kind, acknowledge what's
there, what holes exist, andthen just try to breathe.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
And if you're like me and have kind of let yourself
down on your daily habits, youknow your rituals then start
back with one thing.
Today I started back withsunlight and a 15-minute jog.
Technically, I guess, did twothings, that's it.
Start there.
Start with one thing today andthen see if we can't build some
momentum.
(20:51):
That's my plan anyway.
Yeah, just one thing.
Yeah, we'll add something elsetomorrow, maybe a 30 minute
workout tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Maybe, but then we'll just be.
It's always just be happy forthe one.
If you get the, if you get thewhole, be happy for the whole.
The size of it may not evenmatter, just be happy for the
hole, the size of it may noteven matter, just be happy for
the hole.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Well, and sometimes it's hard to go from like
especially if you have been onvacation or, like I said, been
in a rut.
It's hard to go from like zeroto hero, like to jump right back
into all your things, andthat's kind of what I was trying
to do.
So I think that's, you know,another lesson learned.
Like start with one thing, likeadd one thing back, you know,
add the next thing.
Yeah, yeah, totally, I agree Ahundred percent.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
We got this, we got this.
All right, that's all we gotfor this week.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Until next week, y'all Wireless Out.
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