September 23, 2025 • 25 mins
Send a text with a question you want answered on a podcast episode!!
True leadership means inspiring rather than micromanaging, creating an environment where people feel trusted and empowered to bring their best. This episode explores five powerful ways to transform your conversations from controlling to inspiring, helping you become a more magnetic and effective leader.
• Give people your full attention - make eye contact, lean in, and create a distraction-free space when communicating
• Listen to understand, not just respond - use phrases like "what I'm hearing is..." to confirm understanding
• Find common ground and connection points with your team members to build trust
• Acknowledge three wins for every suggestion for improvement to create a positive feedback culture
• Lead with warmth balanced with competence to create charisma that inspires respect
• Inspire ownership by setting the vision but trusting people to develop the "how"
• Focus on behaviors rather than attacking identity when corrections are needed
• Create psychological safety where questions are welcomed and valued
If you're ready to take your leadership to the next level, book a test drive consultation through my website to explore how we can work together through private coaching or the Magnetic Leadership Accelerator.
Thanks for Listening! We appreciate you. Sending you love and gratitude.
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
uh.
Tap into your inner power.
You got this.
Now go get it living up to yourfull potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by lisajeffs, the magnetic leader.
It's time to soar.
Tap into your power of anentrepreneur.
(00:21):
Level up, step it up because, Ibelieve, find your purpose.
Time to be a magnetic.
Welcome to the show Leader.
This is going to be a good one.
You're going to want to stickaround for this one If you've
ever wanted to improve yourconversations, so you are truly
(00:45):
inspiring people and not justmanaging them or, dare I say,
micromanaging them, which I havebeen guilty of.
If you want to truly inspire thepeople that you are working
with, which ultimately, we wantto do as leaders, especially as
(01:06):
we move into 2026, 2027, whenleadership and emotionally aware
leadership is going to becoming more online, this is
going to become more and moreimportant.
I'm going to be giving you fivespecific ways to improve your
(01:29):
conversations, and these arevery simple.
A lot of times, they are nottaught to us.
So if they are not taught to usgrowing up, or if we've had
environments where we havelearned the patterns of
micromanaging.
It can be very easy to want tomicromanage others.
(01:52):
It's not helpful to the person.
In fact, it can be very harmful.
Now micromanaging is aboutcontrolling.
It's about hovering, nitpicking.
Remember the first time I hadto catch myself when I was
(02:12):
micromanaging someone I hired todo a job which I knew they knew
more about, but I was hoveringover and I was checking things
and ultimately what I did was Ihindered the growth that I hired
them to help me create becauseI couldn't get out of my head
(02:34):
that I somehow knew better.
Now, in a lot of cases, I workwith a lot of very smart, very
capable leaders and people andindividuals, and a lot of times
they may have the answers thatothers do not have.
(02:55):
But to lead is not tomicromanage, because we are not
teaching anybody anything, letalone inspiring.
So to inspire them, we aregiving them clarity, we are
trusting them, we are sharingthe why and letting people own
(03:19):
the how.
I can't tell you how importantthis is to create confidence in
the people that you're workingwith.
And if you're not working withindividuals, think about how
empowering it is when you'reworking with your kids or family
(03:42):
members or friends and you areinstilling in them this level of
capability because you trustthem and they are running with
it, even if what they do is notperfect, that's okay.
That's it.
The game here is not to beperfect.
Nobody is perfect.
(04:03):
Nothing is perfect as a leader.
If you are a conscious leaderand you are truly awakening to
the fact that you are here for apurpose and your purpose is to
inspire others, these are fiveways that you can improve your
conversations, starting today,and the more you practice them,
(04:24):
the more they're going to becomesecond nature, and it truly is
a gift to the people that you'reworking with that you can hang
up the cap of manager or, dare Isay, micromanager and put on
the cap of leadership.
It is truly a gift to yourselfand to everyone that you come
(04:45):
into contact with.
Okay, so one and I talk aboutthis a lot.
I think I've done, actually,all a whole podcast on how
special this is and how mostpeople are not doing it, and if
you can do it, you are trulychanging the game.
This is giving people your fullattention.
(05:09):
Okay, number one, you're givingpeople your full attention.
That means when you werespeaking to them, you are using
listening or you are.
If you're speaking, you areleaning in, you are making eye
contact.
Now, for some people, eyecontact is uncomfortable.
(05:31):
For some cultures we don't makeeye contact.
So take eye contact if itresonates or not.
But if that is something thatyou want to work on doing,
practicing making eye contactwhen you are speaking, focused
by focusing your energy on theperson, which means you're not
(05:53):
distracted, you are not checkingyour phone, even if you are
looking down, you are stillthere.
You are in that space with thatother person.
Nothing else is coming in.
You can even see yourself in aenergetic I don't like to use
(06:14):
the word bubble because we'renot in bubbles, but we are in a
space that's being held andhonored.
Listen with presence.
Number two listening tounderstand.
This is huge.
If you've ever done any kind ofcouples therapy or coaching and
(06:35):
you're working on relationships, this is massive.
Listening to understand and notjust waiting for the space to
(06:58):
put in your opinion.
So a lot of times I'll be hiredand often I will get a rundown
of what the issues are.
Now my job is always to go andtake that but really assess and
do my own assessment and it'soften pretty quickly that I can
(07:18):
assess what's happening and alot of times, issues come from
the top dip and a lot of times,what is happening is there is a
lack of communication.
A big part of the problem,where it's stemming from, is
nobody is understanding eachother, is nobody is
(07:42):
understanding each other.
Nobody is truly understandingwhat is happening for the other
person.
They are making their ownassumptions, people are getting
frustrated because they don'tfeel heard and it absolutely
starts to crumble.
As a leader, one of your numberone jobs is to listen, to
(08:07):
understand, summarize back tothe person when they are
speaking to you, so they knowand they can feel that, oh, this
person truly understands whereI'm coming from.
Use phrases like so what I'mhearing is da, da, da to confirm
(08:36):
what you're hearing is correctand if it's not correct, be open
to the feedback.
One of the things we absolutelywant to do in these
conversations is put ourdefensiveness hat to the side,
and this is where a lot of thatdeeper work comes in, when we
(08:57):
work on our inner leader and wework on being emotionally
regulated.
So when we are in theseconversations, we are grounded
and we are centered.
By the way, if you need helpwith this, please go and book a
(09:20):
test drive consult on my website, or if you're watching this on
YouTube under in the descriptionwebsite, or if you're watching
this on YouTube under in thedescription.
Number three is find commonground.
A lot of times when I'm workingwith a leader and they are
feeling like they are notconnected to their team, or when
I'm working with a founder oran entrepreneur and they are
(09:43):
saying I want to have more ofthis feeling like we are all on
board together, like we areworking as a unit and I'm not
just working with people I'vehired or my employees, that we
are all in a cohesive group.
(10:05):
Well, one of the things you cando when you are having
conversations and you are movingfrom managing to inspiring find
connection.
Find a connection point withthe people that you were talking
about.
It doesn't matter if it's thesmallest connection point ever.
(10:25):
Connect with a person.
People respond to similarities.
When a person feels like, oh,this person gets this or oh,
this person sees this in thesame way, that immediately
builds a connection.
So, if your aim is to feel moreconnected with the people that
(10:51):
you are working with, beintentional about finding things
to connect on.
Another thing you want to dowhen you are finding common
ground is to acknowledge whatthe person you are talking to is
doing.
Acknowledge the wins, celebratethe effort before you add your
(11:17):
view, making sure that thisisn't you just picking, picking,
picking at everything you wantfixed or you want changed or you
want done, that you are trulyacknowledging the wins,
celebrating the wins.
(11:38):
I worked with a leader who wasvery powerful and she was such a
big hearted woman leader.
However, there were certainpeople on her team that she
would get very frustrated with,and a lot of this had to do with
(11:58):
her own healing.
This was her own healingjourney.
A lot of the frustration andthe irritation and the anger was
actually built up fromsomething completely different
and we did a lot of work withthe healing.
But before we got to that point, this is one strategy that that
(12:18):
had massive, massive help forher, and it was simple, when she
was talking to her team, toacknowledge three wins for every
one thing that she wanted tochange or she needed to remind
people of to do different.
(12:40):
I can't tell you how much thiswill inspire people to show up
in a bigger, bolder, moreengaged way, that they know that
you are acknowledging the winsand the things they are doing
well, if all you are doing istelling them what they have done
(13:01):
wrong, even if it's in goodspirits.
That's how you were raised,many of us.
I'm a Gen X.
I'm right on the cusp of Gen Xand millennial.
A lot of the experiences I hadgrowing up were not.
This is great.
This is great.
This is great.
This is what we need to dodifferently.
(13:21):
It was.
Why was this done wrong?
This is what you have to dobetter.
That was not inspiring backthen.
It's certainly not inspiringnow.
Now, a lot of people have thisvery old mentality and I don't
(13:44):
think that's going to be youlistening to this.
I highly doubt that would beyou, because these people are
typically not the ones that arelistening to any personal growth
or doing any of the work, butthere is a belief system that
they have to be really hard,that any form of niceness is
going to be taken advantage ofand that people will not respect
(14:08):
them.
Now there is an element to toomuch warmth being liked and not
respected.
However, I'll get into that ina second, when we go into to
part four, but that is notapplicable to what I'm telling
(14:33):
you right now.
To give three wins, threecompliments, three things a
person did well, and then bringin what you want them to do
differently, what you want themto do better, what you want them
to change.
That is in no way shape or formbeing too warm to where you are
(14:54):
going to lose respect.
In fact, you are going to gainrespect.
We need to let go of thisbelief system that if you smile,
if you're kind, you're somehowgoing to be taken advantage of
Absolutely not.
Let me go with the fourth, whichis lead with warmth, but also
(15:18):
competence.
So if you've listened to mypodcast on charisma, you will
have heard me talk about thebeautiful combination that
Vanessa Van Edwards often talksabout in her work of combining
warmth and competence.
(15:39):
And when we bring these twotogether, we have this wonderful
element of charisma.
Now, when we have too muchwarmth and that can lead to us
being liked but not respectedpeople lacking trust Can this
(16:01):
person really do the job?
However?
And now, if we bring in toomuch competence and, in this
case, too much micromanaging,then we can have people that
were working with us having alevel of respect but, more so, a
(16:22):
level of fear.
We don't want that.
That is not good for business,that is not good for leadership.
That is not good for changingand improving the collective.
We do not want people to beafraid to ask questions.
We do not want people to beafraid of getting things wrong.
What we want to do is create anatmosphere where you lead with
(16:48):
warmth, but also have an elementof truth and clarity, so people
understand the expectations,people understand what is needed
from them, but leading in aconversation with a smile, with
(17:10):
warmth, with an open heart.
I was watching a leadershipvideo that was created not even
that long ago I think it wascreated in 2025.
And the person who was speakingis a very talented, wonderful
leader.
However, there was one partwhich I could not have disagreed
(17:31):
with more, and it was thatemotion has no place in
leadership, and she went as faras to say that when an employee
showed emotion, she wasembarrassed.
Now, this does not mean that wewant to be emotionally
(17:53):
unregulated in our place ofbusiness, in our place of work,
even though it does happensometimes, and that's okay.
But emotion, everything isemotion.
We need to stop pretending thatthe world revolves around logic
and analytics when people aremoved to make decisions through
(18:20):
emotions, even so-called oh I'mjust logical, I just make
logical decisions.
I have a lot of people in mylife that claim to be very
logical and when I look at theirpatterns, they are extremely
emotional.
We have to stop pretending thatemotions are bad.
Emotions are not bad.
Emotions are not bad.
(18:41):
Emotions are what the humanexperience is.
We, as souls, have come toearth to have an emotional
experience.
It's not about denying youremotions, it's about
understanding them andconnecting with others.
So number four is leading withwarmth.
And don't be afraid to leadwith warmth.
(19:01):
Don't be afraid to offerrecognition.
A level of warmth createssafety.
I went into another businessand one of the things that was
expressed to me was that theemployees were afraid to ask
(19:22):
questions.
This is very dangerous.
If you have people afraid toask questions, you're going to
be having people doing a lot ofthings that you may not want
them to do because they areafraid of getting something
wrong or clarifying something.
Questions are especially when aperson is just learning and
(19:50):
growing and really taking onwhat you expect from them.
If you have a culture wherequestions are dismissed or
looked upon as something bad,there's going to be some chaos
there bubbling behind the scenes.
I'm going to move on to numberfive, but four lead with warmth.
(20:15):
Five inspire ownership frompeople.
We cannot inspire ownershipfrom people.
We cannot inspire ownershipfrom people if we are
micromanaging them.
Again, micromanaging completelydiminishes trust.
Micromanaging says I do nottrust you to do this.
(20:35):
Like when I was micromanagingthe person that I hired to do a
job.
Like when I was micromanagingthe person that I hired to do a
job.
Why the heck did I fear them ifI don't trust them to do the
job?
Ultimately, control is alwaysfear.
We try to control what we fear.
So when we are inspiringownership, we are leading with
(21:00):
trust.
We never want to, in aconversation, attack or nitpick
a person's identity orcredibility.
When I see this in a lot ofcases, it's simply that a person
lacks the awareness and they'vecome from environments where
(21:24):
it's a custom to attack theircredibility.
We do not want to do this.
In any occasion we'redismissing a person, we're
dismissing them as a human being, even though a lot of times
it's not intentional.
So, watching what we're saying,watching our words, really
(21:45):
watching the nitpicking If we godeeper into the family.
So a lot of the work that I do,whether I'm working with a
business, I'm working with anindividual, we're working on
leadership or we're working oncreating something in our
business or career.
A lot of times we go back, right, we go back and see what, where
(22:06):
are, have these patternsoriginated from?
Not to dig in and not to divein and stay there, but just to
have an understanding.
And a lot of us have grown upin households where the mother
figure sometimes a father figure, but a lot of times a mother
figure in whatever shape or formthat came in nitpicked.
(22:27):
And I know from my ownexperience.
My mother would often say I'mjust trying to teach you.
So a lot of times it's notintentionally bad, I'm just
trying to teach you.
Wouldn't it be great to learnthis?
Don't you want to learn this?
Of course, but again,nitpicking does not inspire
(22:49):
ownership, it doesn't trulyprotect that person's dignity.
It's a very subtle way ofsaying I don't trust you to do
this, I don't trust yourcapabilities, I don't trust you
to do this, I don't trust yourcapabilities.
Nitpicking is a pattern that wecan break.
A lot of times these thingswhen I go into a business.
A lot of times these thingswhen I'm seeing or I'm using my
(23:15):
intuitive abilities to reallytap in and see beyond the
surface, because in most cases,nobody is doing this
intentionally, maliciously.
These are patterns that arehappening and we can change
patterns.
That's the amazing thing aboutpatterns.
But a lot of times these areold stories that a person is
just reliving.
So we want to set the vision,we want to let them know what
(23:40):
the vision is and trust them todevelop the how or guide them to
develop the how.
You can always correct behavior,but focus on the behavior.
(24:00):
Do not focus on the person,their identity, their
credibility.
This is what I used to do inthe school board when I was
working with youth, young adults.
We don't want to attack theidentity.
Look at the behavior.
Behavior is separate.
(24:22):
We are divine whole beings.
We are in this journey to learn, to grow, to have fun, to
expand, to inspire.
We want to improve the lives ofothers.
I know if you're listening tothis, if you're still listening
to this after or watching 26minutes, you're here to be a
(24:45):
change maker.
If you're resonating with someof the things that I'm talking
about in the manager aspect,know and understand.
That's just a pattern, so haveit.
It's just a way of being and ifyou want to learn another way,
start with these If you want togo deeper, head on over, book a
(25:07):
test drive consult where we willwork one-on-one to really get
clear where you're at, whereyou'd want to go and if what I
offer, either through privatecoaching or through the Magnetic
Leadership Accelerator, is goodLeader, I love you, I
appreciate you and, as always,let's stay connected.
(25:36):
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it.
Everything that you looking for, brought to you by Lisa Jeffs,
the magnetic
uh.
Tap into your inner power.
You got this.
Now go get it living up to yourfull potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by lisajeffs, the magnetic leader.
It's time to soar.
Tap into your power of anentrepreneur.
(00:21):
Level up, step it up because, Ibelieve, find your purpose.
Time to be a magnetic.
Welcome to the show Leader.
This is going to be a good one.
You're going to want to stickaround for this one If you've
ever wanted to improve yourconversations, so you are truly
(00:45):
inspiring people and not justmanaging them or, dare I say,
micromanaging them, which I havebeen guilty of.
If you want to truly inspire thepeople that you are working
with, which ultimately, we wantto do as leaders, especially as
(01:06):
we move into 2026, 2027, whenleadership and emotionally aware
leadership is going to becoming more online, this is
going to become more and moreimportant.
I'm going to be giving you fivespecific ways to improve your
(01:29):
conversations, and these arevery simple.
A lot of times, they are nottaught to us.
So if they are not taught to usgrowing up, or if we've had
environments where we havelearned the patterns of
micromanaging.
It can be very easy to want tomicromanage others.
(01:52):
It's not helpful to the person.
In fact, it can be very harmful.
Now micromanaging is aboutcontrolling.
It's about hovering, nitpicking.
Remember the first time I hadto catch myself when I was
(02:12):
micromanaging someone I hired todo a job which I knew they knew
more about, but I was hoveringover and I was checking things
and ultimately what I did was Ihindered the growth that I hired
them to help me create becauseI couldn't get out of my head
(02:34):
that I somehow knew better.
Now, in a lot of cases, I workwith a lot of very smart, very
capable leaders and people andindividuals, and a lot of times
they may have the answers thatothers do not have.
(02:55):
But to lead is not tomicromanage, because we are not
teaching anybody anything, letalone inspiring.
So to inspire them, we aregiving them clarity, we are
trusting them, we are sharingthe why and letting people own
(03:19):
the how.
I can't tell you how importantthis is to create confidence in
the people that you're workingwith.
And if you're not working withindividuals, think about how
empowering it is when you'reworking with your kids or family
(03:42):
members or friends and you areinstilling in them this level of
capability because you trustthem and they are running with
it, even if what they do is notperfect, that's okay.
That's it.
The game here is not to beperfect.
Nobody is perfect.
(04:03):
Nothing is perfect as a leader.
If you are a conscious leaderand you are truly awakening to
the fact that you are here for apurpose and your purpose is to
inspire others, these are fiveways that you can improve your
conversations, starting today,and the more you practice them,
(04:24):
the more they're going to becomesecond nature, and it truly is
a gift to the people that you'reworking with that you can hang
up the cap of manager or, dare Isay, micromanager and put on
the cap of leadership.
It is truly a gift to yourselfand to everyone that you come
(04:45):
into contact with.
Okay, so one and I talk aboutthis a lot.
I think I've done, actually,all a whole podcast on how
special this is and how mostpeople are not doing it, and if
you can do it, you are trulychanging the game.
This is giving people your fullattention.
(05:09):
Okay, number one, you're givingpeople your full attention.
That means when you werespeaking to them, you are using
listening or you are.
If you're speaking, you areleaning in, you are making eye
contact.
Now, for some people, eyecontact is uncomfortable.
(05:31):
For some cultures we don't makeeye contact.
So take eye contact if itresonates or not.
But if that is something thatyou want to work on doing,
practicing making eye contactwhen you are speaking, focused
by focusing your energy on theperson, which means you're not
(05:53):
distracted, you are not checkingyour phone, even if you are
looking down, you are stillthere.
You are in that space with thatother person.
Nothing else is coming in.
You can even see yourself in aenergetic I don't like to use
(06:14):
the word bubble because we'renot in bubbles, but we are in a
space that's being held andhonored.
Listen with presence.
Number two listening tounderstand.
This is huge.
If you've ever done any kind ofcouples therapy or coaching and
(06:35):
you're working on relationships, this is massive.
Listening to understand and notjust waiting for the space to
(06:58):
put in your opinion.
So a lot of times I'll be hiredand often I will get a rundown
of what the issues are.
Now my job is always to go andtake that but really assess and
do my own assessment and it'soften pretty quickly that I can
(07:18):
assess what's happening and alot of times, issues come from
the top dip and a lot of times,what is happening is there is a
lack of communication.
A big part of the problem,where it's stemming from, is
nobody is understanding eachother, is nobody is
(07:42):
understanding each other.
Nobody is truly understandingwhat is happening for the other
person.
They are making their ownassumptions, people are getting
frustrated because they don'tfeel heard and it absolutely
starts to crumble.
As a leader, one of your numberone jobs is to listen, to
(08:07):
understand, summarize back tothe person when they are
speaking to you, so they knowand they can feel that, oh, this
person truly understands whereI'm coming from.
Use phrases like so what I'mhearing is da, da, da to confirm
(08:36):
what you're hearing is correctand if it's not correct, be open
to the feedback.
One of the things we absolutelywant to do in these
conversations is put ourdefensiveness hat to the side,
and this is where a lot of thatdeeper work comes in, when we
(08:57):
work on our inner leader and wework on being emotionally
regulated.
So when we are in theseconversations, we are grounded
and we are centered.
By the way, if you need helpwith this, please go and book a
(09:20):
test drive consult on my website, or if you're watching this on
YouTube under in the descriptionwebsite, or if you're watching
this on YouTube under in thedescription.
Number three is find commonground.
A lot of times when I'm workingwith a leader and they are
feeling like they are notconnected to their team, or when
I'm working with a founder oran entrepreneur and they are
(09:43):
saying I want to have more ofthis feeling like we are all on
board together, like we areworking as a unit and I'm not
just working with people I'vehired or my employees, that we
are all in a cohesive group.
(10:05):
Well, one of the things you cando when you are having
conversations and you are movingfrom managing to inspiring find
connection.
Find a connection point withthe people that you were talking
about.
It doesn't matter if it's thesmallest connection point ever.
(10:25):
Connect with a person.
People respond to similarities.
When a person feels like, oh,this person gets this or oh,
this person sees this in thesame way, that immediately
builds a connection.
So, if your aim is to feel moreconnected with the people that
(10:51):
you are working with, beintentional about finding things
to connect on.
Another thing you want to dowhen you are finding common
ground is to acknowledge whatthe person you are talking to is
doing.
Acknowledge the wins, celebratethe effort before you add your
(11:17):
view, making sure that thisisn't you just picking, picking,
picking at everything you wantfixed or you want changed or you
want done, that you are trulyacknowledging the wins,
celebrating the wins.
(11:38):
I worked with a leader who wasvery powerful and she was such a
big hearted woman leader.
However, there were certainpeople on her team that she
would get very frustrated with,and a lot of this had to do with
(11:58):
her own healing.
This was her own healingjourney.
A lot of the frustration andthe irritation and the anger was
actually built up fromsomething completely different
and we did a lot of work withthe healing.
But before we got to that point, this is one strategy that that
(12:18):
had massive, massive help forher, and it was simple, when she
was talking to her team, toacknowledge three wins for every
one thing that she wanted tochange or she needed to remind
people of to do different.
(12:40):
I can't tell you how much thiswill inspire people to show up
in a bigger, bolder, moreengaged way, that they know that
you are acknowledging the winsand the things they are doing
well, if all you are doing istelling them what they have done
(13:01):
wrong, even if it's in goodspirits.
That's how you were raised,many of us.
I'm a Gen X.
I'm right on the cusp of Gen Xand millennial.
A lot of the experiences I hadgrowing up were not.
This is great.
This is great.
This is great.
This is what we need to dodifferently.
(13:21):
It was.
Why was this done wrong?
This is what you have to dobetter.
That was not inspiring backthen.
It's certainly not inspiringnow.
Now, a lot of people have thisvery old mentality and I don't
(13:44):
think that's going to be youlistening to this.
I highly doubt that would beyou, because these people are
typically not the ones that arelistening to any personal growth
or doing any of the work, butthere is a belief system that
they have to be really hard,that any form of niceness is
going to be taken advantage ofand that people will not respect
(14:08):
them.
Now there is an element to toomuch warmth being liked and not
respected.
However, I'll get into that ina second, when we go into to
part four, but that is notapplicable to what I'm telling
(14:33):
you right now.
To give three wins, threecompliments, three things a
person did well, and then bringin what you want them to do
differently, what you want themto do better, what you want them
to change.
That is in no way shape or formbeing too warm to where you are
(14:54):
going to lose respect.
In fact, you are going to gainrespect.
We need to let go of thisbelief system that if you smile,
if you're kind, you're somehowgoing to be taken advantage of
Absolutely not.
Let me go with the fourth, whichis lead with warmth, but also
(15:18):
competence.
So if you've listened to mypodcast on charisma, you will
have heard me talk about thebeautiful combination that
Vanessa Van Edwards often talksabout in her work of combining
warmth and competence.
(15:39):
And when we bring these twotogether, we have this wonderful
element of charisma.
Now, when we have too muchwarmth and that can lead to us
being liked but not respectedpeople lacking trust Can this
(16:01):
person really do the job?
However?
And now, if we bring in toomuch competence and, in this
case, too much micromanaging,then we can have people that
were working with us having alevel of respect but, more so, a
(16:22):
level of fear.
We don't want that.
That is not good for business,that is not good for leadership.
That is not good for changingand improving the collective.
We do not want people to beafraid to ask questions.
We do not want people to beafraid of getting things wrong.
What we want to do is create anatmosphere where you lead with
(16:48):
warmth, but also have an elementof truth and clarity, so people
understand the expectations,people understand what is needed
from them, but leading in aconversation with a smile, with
(17:10):
warmth, with an open heart.
I was watching a leadershipvideo that was created not even
that long ago I think it wascreated in 2025.
And the person who was speakingis a very talented, wonderful
leader.
However, there was one partwhich I could not have disagreed
(17:31):
with more, and it was thatemotion has no place in
leadership, and she went as faras to say that when an employee
showed emotion, she wasembarrassed.
Now, this does not mean that wewant to be emotionally
(17:53):
unregulated in our place ofbusiness, in our place of work,
even though it does happensometimes, and that's okay.
But emotion, everything isemotion.
We need to stop pretending thatthe world revolves around logic
and analytics when people aremoved to make decisions through
(18:20):
emotions, even so-called oh I'mjust logical, I just make
logical decisions.
I have a lot of people in mylife that claim to be very
logical and when I look at theirpatterns, they are extremely
emotional.
We have to stop pretending thatemotions are bad.
Emotions are not bad.
Emotions are not bad.
(18:41):
Emotions are what the humanexperience is.
We, as souls, have come toearth to have an emotional
experience.
It's not about denying youremotions, it's about
understanding them andconnecting with others.
So number four is leading withwarmth.
And don't be afraid to leadwith warmth.
(19:01):
Don't be afraid to offerrecognition.
A level of warmth createssafety.
I went into another businessand one of the things that was
expressed to me was that theemployees were afraid to ask
(19:22):
questions.
This is very dangerous.
If you have people afraid toask questions, you're going to
be having people doing a lot ofthings that you may not want
them to do because they areafraid of getting something
wrong or clarifying something.
Questions are especially when aperson is just learning and
(19:50):
growing and really taking onwhat you expect from them.
If you have a culture wherequestions are dismissed or
looked upon as something bad,there's going to be some chaos
there bubbling behind the scenes.
I'm going to move on to numberfive, but four lead with warmth.
(20:15):
Five inspire ownership frompeople.
We cannot inspire ownershipfrom people.
We cannot inspire ownershipfrom people if we are
micromanaging them.
Again, micromanaging completelydiminishes trust.
Micromanaging says I do nottrust you to do this.
(20:35):
Like when I was micromanagingthe person that I hired to do a
job.
Like when I was micromanagingthe person that I hired to do a
job.
Why the heck did I fear them ifI don't trust them to do the
job?
Ultimately, control is alwaysfear.
We try to control what we fear.
So when we are inspiringownership, we are leading with
(21:00):
trust.
We never want to, in aconversation, attack or nitpick
a person's identity orcredibility.
When I see this in a lot ofcases, it's simply that a person
lacks the awareness and they'vecome from environments where
(21:24):
it's a custom to attack theircredibility.
We do not want to do this.
In any occasion we'redismissing a person, we're
dismissing them as a human being, even though a lot of times
it's not intentional.
So, watching what we're saying,watching our words, really
(21:45):
watching the nitpicking If we godeeper into the family.
So a lot of the work that I do,whether I'm working with a
business, I'm working with anindividual, we're working on
leadership or we're working oncreating something in our
business or career.
A lot of times we go back, right, we go back and see what, where
(22:06):
are, have these patternsoriginated from?
Not to dig in and not to divein and stay there, but just to
have an understanding.
And a lot of us have grown upin households where the mother
figure sometimes a father figure, but a lot of times a mother
figure in whatever shape or formthat came in nitpicked.
(22:27):
And I know from my ownexperience.
My mother would often say I'mjust trying to teach you.
So a lot of times it's notintentionally bad, I'm just
trying to teach you.
Wouldn't it be great to learnthis?
Don't you want to learn this?
Of course, but again,nitpicking does not inspire
(22:49):
ownership, it doesn't trulyprotect that person's dignity.
It's a very subtle way ofsaying I don't trust you to do
this, I don't trust yourcapabilities, I don't trust you
to do this, I don't trust yourcapabilities.
Nitpicking is a pattern that wecan break.
A lot of times these thingswhen I go into a business.
A lot of times these thingswhen I'm seeing or I'm using my
(23:15):
intuitive abilities to reallytap in and see beyond the
surface, because in most cases,nobody is doing this
intentionally, maliciously.
These are patterns that arehappening and we can change
patterns.
That's the amazing thing aboutpatterns.
But a lot of times these areold stories that a person is
just reliving.
So we want to set the vision,we want to let them know what
(23:40):
the vision is and trust them todevelop the how or guide them to
develop the how.
You can always correct behavior,but focus on the behavior.
(24:00):
Do not focus on the person,their identity, their
credibility.
This is what I used to do inthe school board when I was
working with youth, young adults.
We don't want to attack theidentity.
Look at the behavior.
Behavior is separate.
(24:22):
We are divine whole beings.
We are in this journey to learn, to grow, to have fun, to
expand, to inspire.
We want to improve the lives ofothers.
I know if you're listening tothis, if you're still listening
to this after or watching 26minutes, you're here to be a
(24:45):
change maker.
If you're resonating with someof the things that I'm talking
about in the manager aspect,know and understand.
That's just a pattern, so haveit.
It's just a way of being and ifyou want to learn another way,
start with these If you want togo deeper, head on over, book a
(25:07):
test drive consult where we willwork one-on-one to really get
clear where you're at, whereyou'd want to go and if what I
offer, either through privatecoaching or through the Magnetic
Leadership Accelerator, is goodLeader, I love you, I
appreciate you and, as always,let's stay connected.
(25:36):
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it.
Everything that you looking for, brought to you by Lisa Jeffs,
the magnetic
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