Boosting Your Confidence: The Impact of Body Language and Wardrobe

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Ever felt your self-confidence wane just when you needed it most? Tune into this episode as your host, Lisa Jeffs, uncovers the secrets of self-assuredness, and how physicality plays a vital role. Sprung from a heartfelt conversation with a client who somewhat struggled to visualize her most empowered self, Lisa breaks down tangible methods of tapping into your innate confidence even when it feels elusive. 

Drawing from her personal experiences, Lisa shares her inspiring journey from the adult entertainment industry to excelling in a 'typical' job interview. This episode enlightens us on how simple alterations, whether it's in our body language or wardrobe, can provide a significant boost to our confidence. Lisa emphasizes how we can shift our energy and not wait for competence to fuel our confidence. So buckle up as we embark on this exploration of self-confidence. You'll learn how to harness it to make different decisions, form diverse connections, and ultimately aid you in achieving your goals.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I walked in there in my pinstripe power suit and I
knew I had the job before theyeven offered it to me.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
You're tuning into the confident connected leader
podcast, your premieredestination for breaking through
your current professionalbarriers.
Your coach and host, lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend
limitations and achieve newlevels of professional success
beyond self doubt, sabotage andburnout.
Welcome to the show.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Welcome to the confident, connected leader
podcast.
I'm your host, lisa Jeffs, andtoday we are talking about
Confident.
When you are not feeling yourmost confident self, what can
you do to help that?
So this was prompted from aconversation I was having with
client Last week and she wasdoing a means visualization and

(00:59):
she really wanted to understandwhen the visualizations I do
with clients is helping them totap into their most confident
self.
Who is that person?
How does she walk, how does shetalk, how does she make
decisions, how does she Commanda room with her energy and

(01:26):
presence?
And this client was, you know,I don't know.
You know, I tried to do thisvisualization and I couldn't get
that Visual in my mind, whichis completely understandable if
you've never felt that before.
So I'm gonna give you twothings you can start doing to

(01:46):
really understand who is theversion of me that is my
absolute most confident self,assure self.
Who makes powerful decisions tomove forward, who is able to
command a room with her presenceand have individuals stop and

(02:12):
want to listen cuz they're likewho is this person talking?
I need to know what they'resaying.
You become magnetizing.
So what can we do to do this?
And this car this was a clientwas, you know, when one of the
things you brought up was thatshe, she could see it physically

(02:36):
but she couldn't really tuneinto the feeling, the emotion of
it, but she could see visuallywhat she was doing.
And she was like I know, youknow, the physical aspect is not
Enough.
And I said to her I'm like, no,the physical aspect, when you
are not feeling confident andyou want to, you know, shift

(02:58):
into your most self-assured,confident self.
The physical aspects are huge,huge, in fact, is one of the
easiest things we can start toshift your energy into the most
confidence of sure self that youare.
So give you a story.
So when I was working prior inthe adult entertainment industry

(03:23):
If you know my story, I sharedbits and pieces in the beginning
couple episodes of this podcastso you can go back and listen
if you're really interested.
I'll be sharing more of it.
But I was working in the adultentertainment industry, you know
, not feeling, not, myself-esteem was not at the
highest at all.

(03:44):
However, I did have a sense ofself-confidence.
But I was in a place in my lifewhere I'm like you know what?
I wanna get a normal quote,unquote what is normal, but I
wanna get out of the industryinto a more normal job and I'm

(04:04):
like but I have no idea what I'mdoing here.
I have no idea how to show upfor this interview.
I've never done an interviewlike this before.
It was at a clothing store atone of the malls that are in the
downtown Toronto Well, I don'tknow how many malls are in

(04:25):
downtown Toronto.
It was at the mall in downtownToronto Eaton Center, and I had
no idea how to show up, how totalk, how to do these type of
interviews.
I'd only done interviews withindividuals in the adult
entertainment world, and that isa very different world.
So I thought to myself well,how am I gonna feel the most

(04:47):
confident here?
Because I don't really feelconfident in my competence, but
I can feel confident in myself.
So there's confidence with yourcompetence, which means that
you know for me I've beencoaching so long I've been

(05:08):
coaching 10 years I'm verycompetent in my ability to coach
.
I'm very competent in myability to hold enrollment calls
, which is one of the reasonsI'm able to sell confidently or
enroll.
I prefer the word enrollbecause it's really just a

(05:29):
conversation of enrollment and Ican do so very well, I'm very
successful at it because I'mcompetent in it.
But if you're not competent insomething yet because you don't
have the practice, you don'thave the skills, it doesn't mean
that you are out of luck, itdoesn't mean that you have to

(05:50):
wait.
It doesn't mean that you haveto.
You know, do all this work tobecome competent, to be
confident.
And this is where you knowyou'll get mixed signals from
different teachers, differentpeople out there that say you
gotta put in the work first tobecome confident.

(06:13):
No, you got to put in the workto become competent, but you can
show up in a way with yourself-confident.
So me in this interview, what Idid was I got on the best suit

(06:35):
that I knew I was going to feelfantastic in.
It was a pinstripe suit.
I think it was from Club MonacoAt that time back in this was
in like 1999, I think it was aClub Monaco suit, maybe and I
had a red shirt underneath and Islicked my hair back Like in

(06:58):
the girls.
I think it was Robert I'm goingto butcher his name Palmer, I
may be saying that wrong in thevideo and I put on my.
It was my power suit.
This was my power suit and Ifelt great in it and I strolled
in that interview and I had myclipboard and I had my pen and I

(07:19):
strolled in.
I could see instantly, as soonas I walked in and I shook her
hand, I could see in myinterviewer's eyes that I had it
and knew I had the job.
And I'm a cocky, arrogant way,but I could feel it because I

(07:40):
guess that the people going in,coming in to interview at the
mall, weren't dressed like this.
And you know, in hindsight, youknow maybe I was a little
overdressed, but when I did theinterview, I did the job
interview.
I was on my way home and I gota call and I knew it was her and

(08:03):
I knew she was going to offerme the job because I could see
it on her face the entire time,because of my confident level.
I felt fantastic.
I had no idea, I had noexperience, I didn't even know
how it was answering thequestions.
To be honest, I'm no clue, butI was answering them as my most
confident, self-assured self,because I felt the part, because

(08:28):
I had worked on my physicalaspects.
So and I got off from the joband I took the job, just to not
leave any strings on that story,but you know when you are not
feeling confident, like myclient was saying, and she's
like, well, I know, it's just asurface level, it's not that

(08:49):
important, like I really knowyou can utilize if you're not
feeling confident.
But you know that if you wearsomething, or if you, when you
do your hair a certain way, orwhen you, you know, put on your
jewelry or put on your makeup,or if you don't, you know, put
on a suit, you know when youfeel you're most confident, self

(09:15):
utilize that daily.
You know if you are at a placewhere you need to make some hard
decisions in your business orin your work, in your career,
and you're like I want to feel Idon't feel confident, I feel
nervous, I'm scared.
Yes, the real deeper work isworking on those fears, shifting

(09:40):
the beliefs, doing that deeperinner work, yes.
However, one of the fastestways you can start moving in
this direction is work on yourphysical state, work on your
physical appearance Right.
That doesn't mean you have togo get like a wild makeover

(10:01):
either.
It's just put on something.
You can use the clothes thatyou already have in your closet
that make you feel the best,that make you feel like yes.
When I was mentioning this to myclient, she mentioned she's
like yes, you know what?
Now that you say that?

(10:21):
I remember when I got dressed acertain way at work and I was
completely different.
I was talking to people, I wasmore social, it was a different,
I felt completely different.
This is what I want you tounderstand the power that you
have already.
Yes, the inner work isimportant.

(10:44):
Yes, all this is important, butyou can shift things instantly
just by sitting up taller, justby putting your head up taller,
like even now.
When I'm doing this if you'relistening to the audio, I also
have my video going and I'm juststanding up tall.
I look more confident, justsitting up, stretching my neck.

(11:09):
You have the power in yourselfto make these simple changes,
which will then lead to youshowing up differently.
And you showing up differentlyis going to lead to you making
different decisions, takingdifferent actions, connecting

(11:30):
with people in a different way.
This all leads to you reachingthe vision that you have.
It closes the gap from whereyou are to where you want to be.
Utilize these simple strategies.
You are already your mostconfident, self-assured self.

(11:54):
You may not have actualized ityet into the physical realm, but
you are already that person andyou can tap into that person at
any point, at any time, becauseyou're already that person.

(12:17):
Visualize, go into avisualization, close your eyes,
live deeply for five minutes,ask to be shown your most
confident, self-assured self.
Don't try to cultivate it,don't try to make it appear.
Just allow it to appear.
You will get a vision and trustthat vision.

(12:41):
All right, I'm going to wrapthis one up.
Thank you so much for stilllistening.
I'm honored to have you here onthis podcast.
I'm honored to serve.
Let's stay connected.