May 25, 2025 • 25 mins
Send a text with a question you want answered on a podcast episode!!
Confidence crises happen to even the most successful leaders, but they're actually opportunities for healing deeper wounds that have always limited our potential.
• Confidence challenges often amplify insecurities that were already present beneath the surface
• High-achieving leaders tend to compartmentalize their insecurities to reach their current positions
• External achievements can only take you so far before inner work becomes necessary
• Current triggers usually mirror unresolved wounds from our past experiences
• Confidence is our natural state—we don't need to build it, we need to release what's blocking it
• Many high achievers are driven by feelings of "not-enoughness" seeking external validation
• Trying to fix confidence through more achievements perpetuates the unhealthy cycle
• Professional support helps identify blind spots and precise healing approaches more efficiently
• Unaddressed confidence issues impact everything from leadership presence to business decisions
• The outcome of this deeper work isn't just restored confidence but quantum leaps in performance
If you'd like support with this work, please visit my website and book a call to discuss private coaching or the Magnetic Leadership Accelerator program.
Thanks for Listening! We appreciate you. Sending you love and gratitude.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
uh.
Tap into your inner power.
You got this.
Now go get it living up to yourfull potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by lisajeffs, the magnetic leader.
It's time to soar.
Tap into your power of anentrepreneur.
(00:21):
Level up.
Step it up because Find yourpurpose.
Time to be a magnetic leader.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Welcome to the show leaders.
I am super excited that you'rehere with me today.
This episode is for the leaderwho looks powerful on the
outside, is powerful, but maynot feel like that anymore
Because something has affectedyour confidence.
(00:57):
Whether that is a person inpower, a person in power saying
something to you, whether thatis critical or absolutely
completely out of line, whetherit's a circumstance where you
felt that you were overlooked.
Maybe you have experiencedsomething that you were passed
(01:21):
over, minimized, questioned, orit could just be that something
in your environment is currentlymaking you feel like you're not
being seen, you're not beingvalued.
You're putting a lot of work inbut you're not seeing it
reflected back, and this canhave a huge impact on someone's
(01:47):
confidence, even if they werewildly confident in the past.
So if that is you, or you'reexperienced something like that,
know that you're not alone.
In fact, I've had a multitudeof people come to me who were
exceptional leaders.
(02:07):
I am talking top of their game,not only in their organization,
but in one case I can remembertop in Canada.
This was a top leader.
She was a top leader in herprofession in Canada and she
(02:28):
experienced this.
So what do you do if you haveexperienced a level of
confidence and then suddenlyit's all shaken and you start
questioning everything.
First, let's talk about the factthat when these let's say these
(02:50):
cracks happen, it's often justamplifying what was already
there.
When we have a insecurity, thatinsecurity can be pushed down
and we can be in our zone.
(03:11):
We can be in our zone of genius.
We can even be just ignoringthe fact that we have an
insecurity, which is fine.
Right, we don't have to alwayshighlight all of our
insecurities.
Insecurities are a part ofhuman nature.
It's fine.
But we can get into a statewhere we're almost performing
(03:32):
day to day.
We're not really tuning intowhat's happening inside of us.
I work with a lot of leaderswho they kind of have had to
push a lot of that down becausethey needed to to get to where
they are right To achieve.
But to get to that next level,we have to deal with the
(03:57):
internal stuff.
It's all about that.
Especially if you're going,you're using your mind, you're
using your wisdom, yourintellect, you're using effort,
you're using all these thingsthat you have control over to
dictate.
It only gets you so far.
(04:18):
And to get to that next levelwe got to do the inner work,
because everything external is areflection of what's happening
internally and a lot of times itis dealing with the wounding,
the insecurities, where we feelnot enough, where we feel unsafe
(04:40):
, and these instances where ourconfidence can get completely
rocked.
It's often just highlightingwhat was already there anyways.
So it's not like you've beencompletely thrown off your game
and something is wrong with youand you need fixing or you're or
(05:03):
what any of the other storiesthat we can start telling
ourselves.
It really just is simply amirror of healing and dealing
with what is already inside ofus.
Because, let's be honest, lifeisn't just about achieving.
While it's all well and goodand part of a life and can be a
(05:30):
healthy life, some of us arehere to achieve great things.
Also, what is part of ourpurpose, our reason for coming
here, is to heal, it's to learn,it's to grow and it's to expand
.
So this is an opportunity to dothe work necessary to fulfill
(05:52):
your full potential here in thislifetime that you are
experiencing.
So, when we can see it with alens of this, is an opportunity
to do work, to do healing, to dovery effective, meaningful,
(06:16):
deep, purposeful work onourselves.
It can shift the energy fromfeeling like, oh shit, something
happened.
Now I'm all messed up and I gotto fix what's broken.
You see the difference ofperspective here and again, it's
not about fixing anything.
It's about healing and lettinggo.
(06:38):
So, in some of the cases whereI've worked with clients and
they've come to me I'm thinkingof one client right now who is
absolutely brilliant it's for mein my journey as a coach, it's
been such a healing journey.
For me as well, because I getto work with people who are
(07:00):
absolutely extraordinaryliterally the top performers and
for me, being able to work withthem and seeing that, oh,
everybody has insecurities,everybody has these things In my
own healing journey, it's beenvery powerful, because often we
(07:21):
feel isolated when these thingshappen.
We can start looking externallyand we're like we're seeing
everything from the Instagramfilter.
Right, everyone's has a perfectlife, everyone has a perfect
career, everyone's making somuch money and they have perfect
bodies and perfect wardrobesand perfect relationships and
everything.
And I'm the dysfunctional one.
(07:44):
And perfect relationships andeverything, and I'm the
dysfunctional one, which is sofar from the truth, which is
absolutely ridiculous.
And for my own journey, it justmade me realize that, oh, a lot
of people are going throughthis silent journey and
especially for a lot of leaders,who are the ones that other
people look up to it can feelvery isolating, because it's
(08:07):
almost like you get into a placewhere you ask yourself am I
even allowed to feel like this?
Everyone else is looking to meas the person who has it all
together and has all the answersand suddenly I feel like I'm
crumbling inside and it can be areal kind of head right, head
mess going on.
(08:29):
Going back to what I was sayingpreviously, I'm thinking about
one client who was absolutelyphenomenal skilled at his craft
and he had a person of authoritywithin his organization that
was quite toxic, right.
Sometimes our confidence canget hit just by something that
(08:50):
happens where it was nothingmalicious, but it was how we
perceived it.
In this case it was actuallymalicious, it was toxic, it was
abusive.
Malicious, it was toxic, it wasabusive.
And the real reason that ittriggered my clients so much
(09:17):
when we did the work and wereally got to the root of it to
understand.
So we weren't just working onsurface level stuff, but we
really got to the real core ofwhat was happening in my
client's situation.
It was a trigger from hischildhood and this person
reignited wounding from thisperson's father.
So the authority figure at workwas basically mirroring what
(09:42):
had happened at a much youngerage with my client's father.
So the healing work that we didaround it was related to that
first instance.
And I want this to be clear foryou because again, a lot of
(10:03):
times it's something that hasalready happened that this new
situation is just shining alight on and the purpose that
it's doing that is to heal adeeper wound.
So we actually go to the deeperwound and we do the healing.
Does that make sense?
(10:24):
So in my client's case, for himit was a lot of work around
shame.
It was a lot of work toreprogram the self-identity that
he was still carrying fromchildhood, the self-concept that
(10:46):
he could never be enough, thathe was never enough for his
father figure, that no matterhow much he achieved, he would
never be enough.
This was his self-concept.
This wasn't truth of thesituation.
This was what he experiencedand he internalized.
(11:06):
And so when this authorityfigure at his work started doing
what he was doing, it sent myclient back to basically what he
experienced in childhood.
So we did a lot of that work.
(11:28):
We did a lot of the healingwork and then his job was to set
those very firm boundarieswithin his working environment,
and what he actually did was heleft his working environment.
(11:48):
He was placed somewhere else.
If you're experiencing somethingthat has shaken you to your
confidence and suddenly you'refeeling like you are not as
confident as you were before,realize that this is just a
(12:09):
moment as you were before.
Realize that this is just amoment.
It's just an experience thatyou're experiencing to do the
work, to do the healing work andto recalibrate back into your
authentic power state.
This is a concept we talk a lotabout in the Magnetic
Leadership Accelerator is yourauthentic power state and this
(12:31):
is how you authentically are.
This is the core of who you are, and we are all at our core,
our authentic core, confidentbeings.
We don't have to learnconfidence.
Confidence is our natural state.
It's who we are before theworld tells us differently.
(12:52):
So, for if you are someone whois feeling like you, your
confidence has been shaken by anexperience.
I want you to do some internalquestioning on.
Is this mirroring somethingthat has happened already in my
(13:13):
past, an insecurity that Ialready have?
Sometimes it's not necessarilyone instance that happened in
your past.
Sometimes it can just be arecurring theme that you feel
recurring theme that you feel.
So it could be highlightingthat you have a core wounding
(13:34):
around not feeling enough.
And if you do, I don't thinkI've ever worked with a client
that doesn't have at least alittle bit of this wounding that
they're not enough.
In fact, it's often somethingthat drives high achievers right
To achieve so much because theyinternally feel like they are
not enough and they use thevalidation they get from
(13:54):
achieving.
And I've definitely been inthat pattern myself.
In fact, it wasn't until a fewyears ago that I really was able
to release that pattern.
So it's understanding that it'sa highlight.
And what is the healing thatyou're going to choose to do?
(14:18):
To either release thisinsecurity or shift your
perception enough that it is nolonger a hindrance.
And this is where you caneither do it on your own, which
is fine and dandy.
(14:38):
It can often take a long time,it may not be as efficient, it
may actually end up costing youmore or you can get professional
support, which I recommendbecause we all have our own
blind spots, and having someonewho is able to support you and
(15:01):
helping you to move through andunderstand exactly what to work
on, so you're not trying to putpieces of a puzzle together and
try to figure it out Makes it alot easier.
So doing the healing work andthen, externally, what are the
(15:24):
now?
The things you are not going totolerate anymore?
So I'm thinking about anotherclient that I had who, again it
was a very toxic person in theworkplace.
There's a lot of and I use thatword with a caveat, because
really I don't like to callpeople toxic, although there are
(15:49):
some people that you know arewe're not going to help them in
this lifetime but most peoplethat are quote unquote toxic
just have their own wounding andown patterns going, and a lot
of times they're not aware, sothat they're not doing anything
about it.
That doesn't give them an out.
(16:09):
They're absolutely responsiblefor this.
But I digress.
This client had a person ofauthority that she was working
with that was not healthy at alland she knew that she needed to
(16:30):
put boundaries in place forherself or else she would keep
going into the pen.
Right, if we're going into thelion's den and expecting not to
get bit, that's a little insane.
So what do we do here?
What are the boundaries that weneed to put in place.
(16:51):
Sometimes it is leaving theentire den.
Sometimes we don't have thatability and we need to put
boundaries in place that aregoing to serve us and if you're
struggling to understand.
They're going to cost you a lotmore effort and time and you're
likely going to be us, and ifyou're struggling to understand
(17:11):
how to do that and you'relikely- going to be at the same
place at another Again.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
this is one of the reasons why we want to get
professional help because youget an outside view.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
So this is where you use another achievement to make
yourself feel better.
Oh, maybe I just need to getthis title or this degree or
this certification and I'm goingto feel better.
Maybe I just need to do thisthing that's external, that's
(17:42):
outside of me More strategy, allthis things that I can do to
prove that I'm confident, toprove that I'm enough and why
(18:08):
this won't heal, deal what'sgoing on internally and to be
very precise and efficient aboutit.
We need to actually get to theroot of what's happening, the
root of why you're triggered.
Because if you didn't havesomething already internally
going on, you would brush it offlike it had nothing to do with
(18:34):
you Not including abuse, becauseabuse is a different story.
But let's say it was an abusivesituation.
Let's say it was you got passedup for a promotion.
If you have an internalwounding around this that can
trigger you losing confidence inyourself, because you're going
(18:56):
to internalize that, it's goingto be highlighting the wound
that's already there.
You're going to be questioningif you're good enough, if you
did enough.
It's going to be highlightingwhat's already in there.
But if you didn't have thatwounding and let's say you got
passed up for the promotion,then it would be more of a okay,
I got passed up, I wonder why.
(19:19):
And you would go to work onimproving what you needed to
improve for the next time thepromotion came around.
You wouldn't.
It wouldn't affect yourconfidence.
It may not be fun, it may be abummer, but it's not going to
have this insidious effect onyour confidence where you're
(19:43):
suddenly questioning your wholeexistence and life and you
literally can't get out of bedin the morning.
The same, I want to make it aclear distinction that when what
I'm talking about when clientshave come to me and their
confidence has been affected,this is an extreme case.
(20:06):
This has had a ripple effect ontheir work and their life and
their self-esteem.
This isn't just a kind of oh, Ifeel a little bit bummed out
for a week, but then I bounceback.
This is a big ripple effect.
So let me know if you havequestions around this.
(20:30):
This is a big one.
This is a big topic.
It's also one that a lot ofleaders and top performers don't
feel comfortable speaking about, because they have an image and
they have a reputation and theydon't always like to admit that
they're not feeling confidentor that something has affected
(20:54):
their confidence.
So they internalize it and allthat does is just make the
problem worse because they buildshame around it.
And part of the work that I dowith clients is we work to
release those heavy feelings,emotions, frequencies, because
(21:17):
those are the ones that startdragging you down and they start
really impacting your life.
They impact if you have abusiness, they're going to
impact what you're going for.
If you have a business, they'regoing to impact what you're
going for, what you're launching, the prices that you're putting
out, the things that you arespeaking about, your visibility
(21:53):
If you are in a organization,the positions that you go for,
how you lead, how you're leadingyour team, how you're just
showing up every day, and it hasthis ripple effect of
destruction moving forward.
So we need to deal with thosedeeper issues and get you back
on track.
And the good thing about doingthis work, the really good thing
is you don't just get back ontrack to where you were
(22:13):
previously.
This is where we break theceiling and we are moving
forward and we're quantumleaping, healing something that
just happened.
It's about going deeper andseeing how what just happened is
(22:38):
connected to something thathappened a long time ago and has
always been affecting yourgrowth and your expansion, and
now we get a chance to deal withit, heal it, release it, move
forward and you start to reallysee the progress in how you are
(22:58):
respected, how you are valued,the money you are making, your
position, your business growth,and it all ripples in a positive
way from that deeper level ofwork.
If you'd like to talk to medirectly about this, please go
(23:20):
to my website, book a call.
We can talk about privatecoaching and if you are
interested in a group format, wecan talk about the Magnetic
Leadership Accelerator.
I do know that a lot of clientswho come to me initially when
they experience something likethis, they like to do the
private coaching first, and thensome of them decide to go into
(23:45):
the Magnetic LeadershipAccelerator for continued
momentum and growth.
But this is something that wecan do privately.
Leaders, I love you, Iappreciate you.
Thank you so much for joiningme on this episode and, as
always, let's stay connected.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Now go, get it, living up to your full potential
.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom we seeking it.
Everything that you looking for, brought to you by Lisa Jeffs,
the Magnetic Leader.
uh.
Tap into your inner power.
You got this.
Now go get it living up to yourfull potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by lisajeffs, the magnetic leader.
It's time to soar.
Tap into your power of anentrepreneur.
(00:21):
Level up.
Step it up because Find yourpurpose.
Time to be a magnetic leader.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Welcome to the show leaders.
I am super excited that you'rehere with me today.
This episode is for the leaderwho looks powerful on the
outside, is powerful, but maynot feel like that anymore
Because something has affectedyour confidence.
(00:57):
Whether that is a person inpower, a person in power saying
something to you, whether thatis critical or absolutely
completely out of line, whetherit's a circumstance where you
felt that you were overlooked.
Maybe you have experiencedsomething that you were passed
(01:21):
over, minimized, questioned, orit could just be that something
in your environment is currentlymaking you feel like you're not
being seen, you're not beingvalued.
You're putting a lot of work inbut you're not seeing it
reflected back, and this canhave a huge impact on someone's
(01:47):
confidence, even if they werewildly confident in the past.
So if that is you, or you'reexperienced something like that,
know that you're not alone.
In fact, I've had a multitudeof people come to me who were
exceptional leaders.
(02:07):
I am talking top of their game,not only in their organization,
but in one case I can remembertop in Canada.
This was a top leader.
She was a top leader in herprofession in Canada and she
(02:28):
experienced this.
So what do you do if you haveexperienced a level of
confidence and then suddenlyit's all shaken and you start
questioning everything.
First, let's talk about the factthat when these let's say these
(02:50):
cracks happen, it's often justamplifying what was already
there.
When we have a insecurity, thatinsecurity can be pushed down
and we can be in our zone.
(03:11):
We can be in our zone of genius.
We can even be just ignoringthe fact that we have an
insecurity, which is fine.
Right, we don't have to alwayshighlight all of our
insecurities.
Insecurities are a part ofhuman nature.
It's fine.
But we can get into a statewhere we're almost performing
(03:32):
day to day.
We're not really tuning intowhat's happening inside of us.
I work with a lot of leaderswho they kind of have had to
push a lot of that down becausethey needed to to get to where
they are right To achieve.
But to get to that next level,we have to deal with the
(03:57):
internal stuff.
It's all about that.
Especially if you're going,you're using your mind, you're
using your wisdom, yourintellect, you're using effort,
you're using all these thingsthat you have control over to
dictate.
It only gets you so far.
(04:18):
And to get to that next levelwe got to do the inner work,
because everything external is areflection of what's happening
internally and a lot of times itis dealing with the wounding,
the insecurities, where we feelnot enough, where we feel unsafe
(04:40):
, and these instances where ourconfidence can get completely
rocked.
It's often just highlightingwhat was already there anyways.
So it's not like you've beencompletely thrown off your game
and something is wrong with youand you need fixing or you're or
(05:03):
what any of the other storiesthat we can start telling
ourselves.
It really just is simply amirror of healing and dealing
with what is already inside ofus.
Because, let's be honest, lifeisn't just about achieving.
While it's all well and goodand part of a life and can be a
(05:30):
healthy life, some of us arehere to achieve great things.
Also, what is part of ourpurpose, our reason for coming
here, is to heal, it's to learn,it's to grow and it's to expand
.
So this is an opportunity to dothe work necessary to fulfill
(05:52):
your full potential here in thislifetime that you are
experiencing.
So, when we can see it with alens of this, is an opportunity
to do work, to do healing, to dovery effective, meaningful,
(06:16):
deep, purposeful work onourselves.
It can shift the energy fromfeeling like, oh shit, something
happened.
Now I'm all messed up and I gotto fix what's broken.
You see the difference ofperspective here and again, it's
not about fixing anything.
It's about healing and lettinggo.
(06:38):
So, in some of the cases whereI've worked with clients and
they've come to me I'm thinkingof one client right now who is
absolutely brilliant it's for mein my journey as a coach, it's
been such a healing journey.
For me as well, because I getto work with people who are
(07:00):
absolutely extraordinaryliterally the top performers and
for me, being able to work withthem and seeing that, oh,
everybody has insecurities,everybody has these things In my
own healing journey, it's beenvery powerful, because often we
(07:21):
feel isolated when these thingshappen.
We can start looking externallyand we're like we're seeing
everything from the Instagramfilter.
Right, everyone's has a perfectlife, everyone has a perfect
career, everyone's making somuch money and they have perfect
bodies and perfect wardrobesand perfect relationships and
everything.
And I'm the dysfunctional one.
(07:44):
And perfect relationships andeverything, and I'm the
dysfunctional one, which is sofar from the truth, which is
absolutely ridiculous.
And for my own journey, it justmade me realize that, oh, a lot
of people are going throughthis silent journey and
especially for a lot of leaders,who are the ones that other
people look up to it can feelvery isolating, because it's
(08:07):
almost like you get into a placewhere you ask yourself am I
even allowed to feel like this?
Everyone else is looking to meas the person who has it all
together and has all the answersand suddenly I feel like I'm
crumbling inside and it can be areal kind of head right, head
mess going on.
(08:29):
Going back to what I was sayingpreviously, I'm thinking about
one client who was absolutelyphenomenal skilled at his craft
and he had a person of authoritywithin his organization that
was quite toxic, right.
Sometimes our confidence canget hit just by something that
(08:50):
happens where it was nothingmalicious, but it was how we
perceived it.
In this case it was actuallymalicious, it was toxic, it was
abusive.
Malicious, it was toxic, it wasabusive.
And the real reason that ittriggered my clients so much
(09:17):
when we did the work and wereally got to the root of it to
understand.
So we weren't just working onsurface level stuff, but we
really got to the real core ofwhat was happening in my
client's situation.
It was a trigger from hischildhood and this person
reignited wounding from thisperson's father.
So the authority figure at workwas basically mirroring what
(09:42):
had happened at a much youngerage with my client's father.
So the healing work that we didaround it was related to that
first instance.
And I want this to be clear foryou because again, a lot of
(10:03):
times it's something that hasalready happened that this new
situation is just shining alight on and the purpose that
it's doing that is to heal adeeper wound.
So we actually go to the deeperwound and we do the healing.
Does that make sense?
(10:24):
So in my client's case, for himit was a lot of work around
shame.
It was a lot of work toreprogram the self-identity that
he was still carrying fromchildhood, the self-concept that
(10:46):
he could never be enough, thathe was never enough for his
father figure, that no matterhow much he achieved, he would
never be enough.
This was his self-concept.
This wasn't truth of thesituation.
This was what he experiencedand he internalized.
(11:06):
And so when this authorityfigure at his work started doing
what he was doing, it sent myclient back to basically what he
experienced in childhood.
So we did a lot of that work.
(11:28):
We did a lot of the healingwork and then his job was to set
those very firm boundarieswithin his working environment,
and what he actually did was heleft his working environment.
(11:48):
He was placed somewhere else.
If you're experiencing somethingthat has shaken you to your
confidence and suddenly you'refeeling like you are not as
confident as you were before,realize that this is just a
(12:09):
moment as you were before.
Realize that this is just amoment.
It's just an experience thatyou're experiencing to do the
work, to do the healing work andto recalibrate back into your
authentic power state.
This is a concept we talk a lotabout in the Magnetic
Leadership Accelerator is yourauthentic power state and this
(12:31):
is how you authentically are.
This is the core of who you are, and we are all at our core,
our authentic core, confidentbeings.
We don't have to learnconfidence.
Confidence is our natural state.
It's who we are before theworld tells us differently.
(12:52):
So, for if you are someone whois feeling like you, your
confidence has been shaken by anexperience.
I want you to do some internalquestioning on.
Is this mirroring somethingthat has happened already in my
(13:13):
past, an insecurity that Ialready have?
Sometimes it's not necessarilyone instance that happened in
your past.
Sometimes it can just be arecurring theme that you feel
recurring theme that you feel.
So it could be highlightingthat you have a core wounding
(13:34):
around not feeling enough.
And if you do, I don't thinkI've ever worked with a client
that doesn't have at least alittle bit of this wounding that
they're not enough.
In fact, it's often somethingthat drives high achievers right
To achieve so much because theyinternally feel like they are
not enough and they use thevalidation they get from
(13:54):
achieving.
And I've definitely been inthat pattern myself.
In fact, it wasn't until a fewyears ago that I really was able
to release that pattern.
So it's understanding that it'sa highlight.
And what is the healing thatyou're going to choose to do?
(14:18):
To either release thisinsecurity or shift your
perception enough that it is nolonger a hindrance.
And this is where you caneither do it on your own, which
is fine and dandy.
(14:38):
It can often take a long time,it may not be as efficient, it
may actually end up costing youmore or you can get professional
support, which I recommendbecause we all have our own
blind spots, and having someonewho is able to support you and
(15:01):
helping you to move through andunderstand exactly what to work
on, so you're not trying to putpieces of a puzzle together and
try to figure it out Makes it alot easier.
So doing the healing work andthen, externally, what are the
(15:24):
now?
The things you are not going totolerate anymore?
So I'm thinking about anotherclient that I had who, again it
was a very toxic person in theworkplace.
There's a lot of and I use thatword with a caveat, because
really I don't like to callpeople toxic, although there are
(15:49):
some people that you know arewe're not going to help them in
this lifetime but most peoplethat are quote unquote toxic
just have their own wounding andown patterns going, and a lot
of times they're not aware, sothat they're not doing anything
about it.
That doesn't give them an out.
(16:09):
They're absolutely responsiblefor this.
But I digress.
This client had a person ofauthority that she was working
with that was not healthy at alland she knew that she needed to
(16:30):
put boundaries in place forherself or else she would keep
going into the pen.
Right, if we're going into thelion's den and expecting not to
get bit, that's a little insane.
So what do we do here?
What are the boundaries that weneed to put in place.
(16:51):
Sometimes it is leaving theentire den.
Sometimes we don't have thatability and we need to put
boundaries in place that aregoing to serve us and if you're
struggling to understand.
They're going to cost you a lotmore effort and time and you're
likely going to be us, and ifyou're struggling to understand
(17:11):
how to do that and you'relikely- going to be at the same
place at another Again.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
this is one of the reasons why we want to get
professional help because youget an outside view.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
So this is where you use another achievement to make
yourself feel better.
Oh, maybe I just need to getthis title or this degree or
this certification and I'm goingto feel better.
Maybe I just need to do thisthing that's external, that's
(17:42):
outside of me More strategy, allthis things that I can do to
prove that I'm confident, toprove that I'm enough and why
(18:08):
this won't heal, deal what'sgoing on internally and to be
very precise and efficient aboutit.
We need to actually get to theroot of what's happening, the
root of why you're triggered.
Because if you didn't havesomething already internally
going on, you would brush it offlike it had nothing to do with
(18:34):
you Not including abuse, becauseabuse is a different story.
But let's say it was an abusivesituation.
Let's say it was you got passedup for a promotion.
If you have an internalwounding around this that can
trigger you losing confidence inyourself, because you're going
(18:56):
to internalize that, it's goingto be highlighting the wound
that's already there.
You're going to be questioningif you're good enough, if you
did enough.
It's going to be highlightingwhat's already in there.
But if you didn't have thatwounding and let's say you got
passed up for the promotion,then it would be more of a okay,
I got passed up, I wonder why.
(19:19):
And you would go to work onimproving what you needed to
improve for the next time thepromotion came around.
You wouldn't.
It wouldn't affect yourconfidence.
It may not be fun, it may be abummer, but it's not going to
have this insidious effect onyour confidence where you're
(19:43):
suddenly questioning your wholeexistence and life and you
literally can't get out of bedin the morning.
The same, I want to make it aclear distinction that when what
I'm talking about when clientshave come to me and their
confidence has been affected,this is an extreme case.
(20:06):
This has had a ripple effect ontheir work and their life and
their self-esteem.
This isn't just a kind of oh, Ifeel a little bit bummed out
for a week, but then I bounceback.
This is a big ripple effect.
So let me know if you havequestions around this.
(20:30):
This is a big one.
This is a big topic.
It's also one that a lot ofleaders and top performers don't
feel comfortable speaking about, because they have an image and
they have a reputation and theydon't always like to admit that
they're not feeling confidentor that something has affected
(20:54):
their confidence.
So they internalize it and allthat does is just make the
problem worse because they buildshame around it.
And part of the work that I dowith clients is we work to
release those heavy feelings,emotions, frequencies, because
(21:17):
those are the ones that startdragging you down and they start
really impacting your life.
They impact if you have abusiness, they're going to
impact what you're going for.
If you have a business, they'regoing to impact what you're
going for, what you're launching, the prices that you're putting
out, the things that you arespeaking about, your visibility
(21:53):
If you are in a organization,the positions that you go for,
how you lead, how you're leadingyour team, how you're just
showing up every day, and it hasthis ripple effect of
destruction moving forward.
So we need to deal with thosedeeper issues and get you back
on track.
And the good thing about doingthis work, the really good thing
is you don't just get back ontrack to where you were
(22:13):
previously.
This is where we break theceiling and we are moving
forward and we're quantumleaping, healing something that
just happened.
It's about going deeper andseeing how what just happened is
(22:38):
connected to something thathappened a long time ago and has
always been affecting yourgrowth and your expansion, and
now we get a chance to deal withit, heal it, release it, move
forward and you start to reallysee the progress in how you are
(22:58):
respected, how you are valued,the money you are making, your
position, your business growth,and it all ripples in a positive
way from that deeper level ofwork.
If you'd like to talk to medirectly about this, please go
(23:20):
to my website, book a call.
We can talk about privatecoaching and if you are
interested in a group format, wecan talk about the Magnetic
Leadership Accelerator.
I do know that a lot of clientswho come to me initially when
they experience something likethis, they like to do the
private coaching first, and thensome of them decide to go into
(23:45):
the Magnetic LeadershipAccelerator for continued
momentum and growth.
But this is something that wecan do privately.
Leaders, I love you, Iappreciate you.
Thank you so much for joiningme on this episode and, as
always, let's stay connected.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Now go, get it, living up to your full potential
.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom we seeking it.
Everything that you looking for, brought to you by Lisa Jeffs,
the Magnetic Leader.
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