June 8, 2025 • 27 mins
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Have you ever wondered what makes certain people so magnetically captivating? That special quality that draws others in and makes people want to follow them? In this powerful episode, we unpack the science of charisma and reveal how you can develop this essential leadership skill.
Charisma isn't some mystical quality bestowed upon the lucky few. As we discover, it's actually a learnable skill that combines the perfect balance of warmth and competence. When you master this balance, you become someone others both like and respect – a powerful position in any professional or personal context.
I share a personal story from early in my career that demonstrates how charisma can open doors, even when you lack traditional qualifications or experience. This mall job interview story illustrates how simple charismatic techniques created an immediate connection that led to an on-the-spot job offer!
The episode breaks down specific micro-habits you can implement immediately to boost your charismatic presence. From eliminating fidgeting and maintaining powerful posture to making meaningful eye contact and asking thoughtful questions, these practical techniques will transform how others perceive and respond to you. I especially emphasize the rare and powerful gift of being fully present with others in our distracted world – a charismatic superpower few people consistently demonstrate.
Whether you're looking to advance your career, grow your business, improve your relationships, or simply connect more authentically with others, developing your charisma will be transformative. Start practicing these techniques this week, and you'll be amazed at how differently people respond to you. Your magnetic presence awaits!
Thanks for Listening! We appreciate you. Sending you love and gratitude.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
uh.
Tap into your inner power.
You got this.
Now go get it living up to yourfull potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by lisajeffs, the magnetic leader.
It's time to soar.
Tap into your power of anentrepreneur.
(00:21):
Level up.
Step it up because Find yourpurpose.
Time to be a magnetic leader.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Welcome to the show leaders.
Today.
I am on vacation, so it maysound a little different.
I'm hoping that it comesthrough okay, because this
message is really, reallypowerful and it's going to be
something that helps supportyour growth, whether you are
(00:54):
looking to help increase yourbusiness, your profits, your
relationships, if you arelooking to move up in your
career or if you just wantbetter connections in your
personal life.
Today we are talking about howto be more charismatic.
(01:16):
Now, first let's talk aboutwhat the heck is charisma
anyways.
So, according to Vanessa VanEdwards, who is a fantastic
researcher and speaker on thistopic, her definition is the
perfect combination betweenwarmth and competence.
(01:40):
So that is the type of personwho is friendly, they are kind,
they are open, but you also viewthem as someone who knows their
stuff.
They are competent.
Now, if we go in the directionof someone being very, very warm
(02:06):
but doesn't have that same mixof competence, we often like
them.
We often really like them.
We often want to be around thema lot, but we don't necessarily
trust that they're going to getthe job done, and that is not
(02:26):
helpful in a lot of worksituations.
Now, on the flip side, we canhave someone who's very, very
competent and they can oftenmove up the ladder.
However, they often cap it at acertain point because without
(02:47):
the warmth aspect, they can comeoff as cold and aloof, and
people don't want to deal withpeople who are cold and aloof
all the time.
So having that wonderful mix ofwarmth and competence really,
really puts you above the barand you can be viewed as someone
(03:11):
who is very charismatic.
People want to be around andyou also get the job done.
In other words, it's a perfectcombination of being liked and
respected.
Okay, so, very, very importantand I would say, from the work
that I do and the people that Italk to and a lot of
(03:33):
interactions I have, this is nota common skill, and I call it a
skill because it is somethingthat can be learned.
Yes, there are people that havethe natural ability to be
charismatic, but it can alsosimply be a skill that you learn
, and not a lot of people haveit.
So if you are really committedto growth, whatever you're doing
(03:58):
for your work, for your career,in your business, if you have a
desire to impact more people,this is a skill you want to
master.
So let's talk about how you canbe more charismatic.
What are the actual let's callthem, these micro habits, these
(04:20):
little ways that you canpractice and bring more charisma
into your day to day?
The first I'm going to tell youa little story first.
The first time I noticed thepower of charisma was when I
went into a job interview, andthis was when I was just
(04:43):
shifting out.
If you know my story, if youdon't, you can go back into the
intro.
I think I share this in theintro to the podcast.
I mean the very first episode Iever did, where, straight out
of high school, I got a job inthe adult entertainment industry
and I won't go too much into it.
(05:03):
But there got to be a pointwhere I said you know what I
want to get out of this?
I want to go get a quote,unquote real job.
And I was, I think, maybe 20,maybe 20, 21, I'm not sure and I
(05:24):
wanted to go in to the mall.
I had absolutely zeroqualifications.
I had never worked in retail, Ihad never worked at a store,
but I put my application in at astore that I liked Um, actually
(05:44):
, I don't know if I I wore theclothes, I think it was just a
store that I was familiar with,anyways, and I got a call back
for the interview and I knewthat I had zero qualifications
for this job.
In fact I'm not even sure whatI put on the resume because I
certainly don't think I put onthe adult entertainment world.
(06:08):
So but I got a call and I knewthat I would have to impress
them with my interview skillsbecause I had nothing else to
bring.
That said, I'd be great at thisjob.
So part of what you know acharismatic person is being
(06:33):
comfortable in your own skin, isbeing comfortable with what
you're wearing.
I can tell you right now youare not going to be charismatic
If you are wearing something youdo not feel comfortable in.
It will show Okay.
So that that's key.
That's.
That's, besides, what we'regoing to get into.
But this is a little side note.
You got to be comfortable inwhat you're wearing and it's
(06:55):
even better if you feel powerfulin what you're wearing.
So I put on a pin striped suit,which at the time was very
fashionable, and I had a redundershirt, the color of a
powerful color, and when Iwalked into the mall I felt
(07:16):
great.
So I walked in shoulders, back,head held high, walking with my
I think I had a briefcase and Iwalked in a relaxed, confident
manner.
When I met the woman, I smiled,I made eye contact.
(07:42):
It's interesting how I knew howto do all those things even
though I really didn't realizewhat I was doing at the time,
even though I really didn'trealize what I was doing at the
time.
And then when we went to sitdown I remember we were sitting
on a bench just in the mall Iused active listening skills,
(08:03):
right.
So I leaned in.
When she was talking, I, youknow, allowed her to speak.
Right, I answered her questions.
I also had my own questions.
So I pulled out a piece ofpaper and I was taking notes and
asking my own questions,interview, right.
(08:33):
I smiled again, shook her hand.
She said she'd let us, let us,let me know in a couple of weeks
.
And I said okay, great, again,my posture is strong, I'm
smiling, I'm confident, I'masking questions.
And I got out of that mall,walked out of that mall I don't
think it was, I don't even thinkI got back on the subway yet,
(08:54):
maybe I did, I'm not sure and Igot a call and it was her and
she offered me the job and Iknew it was because she was so
impressed about how I was and Iknow the suit, the suit, really
that was a big part of it,because I could see she was
(09:15):
impressed how I dressed up forthe interview.
I don't know how the otherpeople that were interviewing
dressed, but I'm assuming theydidn't put it didn't look like
they put in a lot of effort Ishould say.
So let's get into how you canstart being more charismatic and
utilize it for your own growthand expansion.
(09:42):
So, number one, how you want tobe more charismatic.
First, you can't startfidgeting and pull at things and
have shifty eye contact and,you know, be moving stuff all
(10:07):
over the place.
You really have to have agrounded, calm stance, whether
you are standing up.
If you're standing up, youdon't, you know, put your, you
don't close your arms right.
Open arms, open body signals,warmth, making sure that you are
(10:37):
breathing calmly.
This demonstrates a level ofcompetence.
People see you as powerful,relaxed.
They people see you as powerful, relaxed and and you can do
(11:02):
this even if you don't feelrelaxed inside, even if you have
anxiety inside.
Because I have gone to manyinterviews, I only told you
about one.
I've done many and they've all,except for one disastrous
interview, which is a wholenother story went pretty pretty
well like very high up on thethe poll here and I absolutely
(11:23):
felt anxious in some of them.
I absolutely had nerves in someof them, but I know how to have
that feeling, but not let itshow on my body and all it is is
practice.
That's all it is.
It's practice.
So what's really great, ifyou're going to use this for
(11:43):
interviews or any kind ofpitching, is to tape yourself of
pitching is to tape yourself.
Right, have a practice.
I used to practice all the time.
I don't necessarily recommendpracticing as hardcore as I used
to practice.
It was a little bitborderlining um, perfectionism,
(12:07):
almost.
I don't think you need to go ashard as I did, but absolutely
practicing until you feelconfident is is going to make
such a big difference andwatching yourself back.
I often have clients who tellme that the recording they get
(12:27):
from our sessions because wealways record the sessions for
them is absolutelytransformative just from that,
just from watching themselves onthe recording, just from
hearing themselves.
So number one if you want tolook more competent is do not
fidget.
(12:48):
Is do not fidget.
Okay, be calm, be peaceful, butalso be open.
Next one make eye contact.
Now, I don't mean drill youreyes deep into their soul, okay,
(13:09):
until they feel super, superawkward, but not having shifty
eyes or looking down and I knowthis can be a form, you know,
when anxiety hits, we can startdoing this.
But it's really important thatyou're able to make eye contact.
But it's really important thatyou're able to make eye contact.
(13:30):
First of all, this signalsconfidence.
It signals competence.
What Vanessa Van Edwards oftentalks about is warming your eyes
first.
So it means smiling with youreyes and practicing that before
you speak.
Right, because what do we want?
(13:52):
We want to mix again competenceand warmth.
What else can you do to be morecharismatic?
You can mirror the person'senergy.
You can repeat back certainwords that they said.
(14:12):
I used to reframe a word.
I used to hear people's wordsand I would speak it back in the
word that I like to use.
Right, because sometimes wehave different words that mean
the same thing.
But what's even more powerfulis just repeating the words that
(14:34):
they use.
This increases trust building.
Now, you don't want to do it ina weird manipulative way, right,
because a lot of these thingsyou can almost take it too far
and it becomes odd, it becomesstrange and that is the furthest
(14:57):
thing we want from beingcharismatic.
That's why I say you practice,but you don't want to be putting
on a performance, you want topractice so it becomes your
natural state.
I do believe most people reallyare.
(15:17):
They have that charismaticability.
It's just that they haven'tpracticed it and all the
limiting beliefs we pick up overthe years can really dim it.
They pick up over the years canreally dim it, but ultimately
we wanna practice these thingsso your natural authentic state
comes through okay, and that isultimately very charismatic.
(15:39):
So again, mirroring theirenergy Another thing you can do
that's really charismatic.
That can also go the absolutewrong way when overused and I
see a lot of salespeople will dothis and I've had to call out
(16:01):
some salespeople because it getsreally weird.
But that is using a person'sname.
So of course this builds trust.
It builds connection.
So of course this builds trust.
It builds connection.
But if you're using their nameevery two seconds, as when you
were talking, this is when itgets weird, and I don't know if
(16:23):
this is a nervousness thatpeople fall into or they've just
heard that saying a person'sname, it can be a powerful way
to build a connection and leadto sales, etc.
And then they just like use ituntil it becomes very strange.
But again, we want this to benatural.
(16:48):
So using it at the beginning ofa conversation and then letting
it go, and maybe using it atthe end of the conversation, but
not every second sentence thatyou say and that builds warmth.
Also, again, I already mentionedit in the story that I told you
(17:12):
but posture is huge.
This is a huge one.
Even doing this alone and yourcharismatic meter is going to go
sky high.
Shoulders back, straighten up,head up, head up and walking
(17:42):
with a relaxed stance.
I often do this when I practice, when I go for walks, I'll put
on some music that I really likeand I get into the energy that
I am calling in.
So if, let's say, I'm evenmanifesting something or I'll
play with almost differentcharacters because I like it,
it's fun for me and I will walk.
And it's such a difference whenyou are consciously practicing
(18:08):
walking and really putting focusinto it than just walking in
our natural way.
So sometimes, when I walk in mynatural way, I'm all over the
place.
That's one thing about me is Ihave very polar ways about me.
So in one way, I'm extremelycharismatic.
(18:33):
I know when to turn it on Again, not a performance, but I know
when to bring it forth frominside of me.
But on the flip side, sometimesI can be super, super awkward
right, I can be super awkward, Ican be walking, I can look
awkward, and it's okay to havethese pieces within you that
(18:56):
look like polar opposites, andstill be able to be charismatic.
So you don't I don't care whereyou're starting from.
If you start implementing someof these things this week with
people, you're going to notice adifference.
Some of these things this weekwith people, you're going to
(19:17):
notice a difference.
So here's another one that'sreally really, really helpful,
and this one goes intocompetence and also warmth, and
it leaves a very good impressionon people, and that is asking
questions.
(19:37):
So I don't know if you've everbeen to a networking event.
I've been to many networkingevents, sometimes I think too
many and there has been multipleoccasions where I remember
(19:57):
people just simply talking aboutthemselves.
Nothing wrong with talkingabout yourself, by the way, and
sharing parts of you, butliterally dominating the whole
conversation and just talkingabout themselves.
This does not build any trust,this is not warmth, and I would
(20:25):
even argue it it.
Borderlines are not seemingvery competent either.
It just seems like a trying toput into words the energy when
someone is.
It's almost like an anxiousenergy, even though it doesn't
really seem like the person isanxious, but it can come across
as as that or or simply um,self-absorbed.
(20:47):
To be honest not that that I'mlate, I don't want to label
people as self-absorbed, but ifyou have anxieties about going
into a networking event becauseyou think you're going to have
to talk about yourself and youdon't like talking about
yourself, again, there's nothingwrong with talking about
yourself.
But you want to be able to begiving and receiving.
(21:11):
But if you're feeling anxiousabout giving, so talking about
yourself, just ask questions.
People love to answer questionsabout themselves.
I think it is Dale Carnegie inDale Carnegie's book how to Make
(21:34):
Friends and Influence Peoplehow to make friends and
influence people, where heshares how beneficial it is to
ask questions.
This is one of the reasons whyI typically do so well in
pitches or interviews is that Ialways have a list of questions
(21:56):
that I want to ask.
It's one of the easiest thingsyou can do and then listen to
the person's answer.
Don't just fire off questionslike one after the other and
you're not even listening towhat they're saying.
You want to ask these questions.
(22:16):
Hear what the person is saying,ask follow-up questions to do
with that right.
Let them know you are present,you are listening to them.
I think I've done podcasts onthe art of presence and how
powerful it is, because mostpeople are not present, they are
(22:41):
in their own head or they aredistracted.
We live in a very distractedsociety.
So when someone is fullypresent with you, leaning in,
making eye contact, asking youquestions and listening to what
(23:02):
you're saying and repeating itback and asking follow-up
questions, that makes a huge,massive impact.
And I don't say this lightly,because I'm saying it and you
may be thinking, but that's likenothing Like.
So I'm just leaning in and I'mjust like listening and then I'm
(23:24):
, you know, asking questions andrepeating it back.
But think about how many peoplethe past week have done that
for you, have held that spacefor you.
Think about how many people inthe last month have done that or
the last year.
To be honest, I can think of inmy life very few people who do
(23:51):
that well, and a lot of them Ipay as my coach or someone that
I'm working with.
So start doing these simple,simple practices and you are
going to appear, whether youfeel like it or not, more
(24:12):
charismatic, and it's going tochange your business, your
career, your personal life.
I promise you that.
As always, leader, I appreciateyou.
Thank you for listening.
I hope you can hear this okay.
Again, I'm on vacation so I'mjust recording this on my
(24:34):
earphones.
I don't have my my usual micwith me, but send me a message
on Instagram If you'd like aquestion answered on the podcast
.
You can always ask a questionor you can text it to me in the
show notes.
I believe it's on in the shownotes directly from the podcast
website on my website, lisaJeffscom, the podcast website on
(25:02):
my website, lisajeffscom.
If you'd like to go deeper onsome of these tactics, reach out
and let's talk about anintensive and see if an
intensive where we work togetherin a VIP afternoon and then you
have a week of support to startimplementing some of these
actions, is a good fit for whatyou are going through right now
and what your goals are.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I love you, leader.
I appreciate you.
Magnetic Big dreams believe init.
Wisdom, we seeking it.
Everything that you're lookingfor, brought to you by Lisa
Jeffs, the Magnetic Leader.
uh.
Tap into your inner power.
You got this.
Now go get it living up to yourfull potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by lisajeffs, the magnetic leader.
It's time to soar.
Tap into your power of anentrepreneur.
(00:21):
Level up.
Step it up because Find yourpurpose.
Time to be a magnetic leader.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Welcome to the show leaders.
Today.
I am on vacation, so it maysound a little different.
I'm hoping that it comesthrough okay, because this
message is really, reallypowerful and it's going to be
something that helps supportyour growth, whether you are
(00:54):
looking to help increase yourbusiness, your profits, your
relationships, if you arelooking to move up in your
career or if you just wantbetter connections in your
personal life.
Today we are talking about howto be more charismatic.
(01:16):
Now, first let's talk aboutwhat the heck is charisma
anyways.
So, according to Vanessa VanEdwards, who is a fantastic
researcher and speaker on thistopic, her definition is the
perfect combination betweenwarmth and competence.
(01:40):
So that is the type of personwho is friendly, they are kind,
they are open, but you also viewthem as someone who knows their
stuff.
They are competent.
Now, if we go in the directionof someone being very, very warm
(02:06):
but doesn't have that same mixof competence, we often like
them.
We often really like them.
We often want to be around thema lot, but we don't necessarily
trust that they're going to getthe job done, and that is not
(02:26):
helpful in a lot of worksituations.
Now, on the flip side, we canhave someone who's very, very
competent and they can oftenmove up the ladder.
However, they often cap it at acertain point because without
(02:47):
the warmth aspect, they can comeoff as cold and aloof, and
people don't want to deal withpeople who are cold and aloof
all the time.
So having that wonderful mix ofwarmth and competence really,
really puts you above the barand you can be viewed as someone
(03:11):
who is very charismatic.
People want to be around andyou also get the job done.
In other words, it's a perfectcombination of being liked and
respected.
Okay, so, very, very importantand I would say, from the work
that I do and the people that Italk to and a lot of
(03:33):
interactions I have, this is nota common skill, and I call it a
skill because it is somethingthat can be learned.
Yes, there are people that havethe natural ability to be
charismatic, but it can alsosimply be a skill that you learn
, and not a lot of people haveit.
So if you are really committedto growth, whatever you're doing
(03:58):
for your work, for your career,in your business, if you have a
desire to impact more people,this is a skill you want to
master.
So let's talk about how you canbe more charismatic.
What are the actual let's callthem, these micro habits, these
(04:20):
little ways that you canpractice and bring more charisma
into your day to day?
The first I'm going to tell youa little story first.
The first time I noticed thepower of charisma was when I
went into a job interview, andthis was when I was just
(04:43):
shifting out.
If you know my story, if youdon't, you can go back into the
intro.
I think I share this in theintro to the podcast.
I mean the very first episode Iever did, where, straight out
of high school, I got a job inthe adult entertainment industry
and I won't go too much into it.
(05:03):
But there got to be a pointwhere I said you know what I
want to get out of this?
I want to go get a quote,unquote real job.
And I was, I think, maybe 20,maybe 20, 21, I'm not sure and I
(05:24):
wanted to go in to the mall.
I had absolutely zeroqualifications.
I had never worked in retail, Ihad never worked at a store,
but I put my application in at astore that I liked Um, actually
(05:44):
, I don't know if I I wore theclothes, I think it was just a
store that I was familiar with,anyways, and I got a call back
for the interview and I knewthat I had zero qualifications
for this job.
In fact I'm not even sure whatI put on the resume because I
certainly don't think I put onthe adult entertainment world.
(06:08):
So but I got a call and I knewthat I would have to impress
them with my interview skillsbecause I had nothing else to
bring.
That said, I'd be great at thisjob.
So part of what you know acharismatic person is being
(06:33):
comfortable in your own skin, isbeing comfortable with what
you're wearing.
I can tell you right now youare not going to be charismatic
If you are wearing something youdo not feel comfortable in.
It will show Okay.
So that that's key.
That's.
That's, besides, what we'regoing to get into.
But this is a little side note.
You got to be comfortable inwhat you're wearing and it's
(06:55):
even better if you feel powerfulin what you're wearing.
So I put on a pin striped suit,which at the time was very
fashionable, and I had a redundershirt, the color of a
powerful color, and when Iwalked into the mall I felt
(07:16):
great.
So I walked in shoulders, back,head held high, walking with my
I think I had a briefcase and Iwalked in a relaxed, confident
manner.
When I met the woman, I smiled,I made eye contact.
(07:42):
It's interesting how I knew howto do all those things even
though I really didn't realizewhat I was doing at the time,
even though I really didn'trealize what I was doing at the
time.
And then when we went to sitdown I remember we were sitting
on a bench just in the mall Iused active listening skills,
(08:03):
right.
So I leaned in.
When she was talking, I, youknow, allowed her to speak.
Right, I answered her questions.
I also had my own questions.
So I pulled out a piece ofpaper and I was taking notes and
asking my own questions,interview, right.
(08:33):
I smiled again, shook her hand.
She said she'd let us, let us,let me know in a couple of weeks
.
And I said okay, great, again,my posture is strong, I'm
smiling, I'm confident, I'masking questions.
And I got out of that mall,walked out of that mall I don't
think it was, I don't even thinkI got back on the subway yet,
(08:54):
maybe I did, I'm not sure and Igot a call and it was her and
she offered me the job and Iknew it was because she was so
impressed about how I was and Iknow the suit, the suit, really
that was a big part of it,because I could see she was
(09:15):
impressed how I dressed up forthe interview.
I don't know how the otherpeople that were interviewing
dressed, but I'm assuming theydidn't put it didn't look like
they put in a lot of effort Ishould say.
So let's get into how you canstart being more charismatic and
utilize it for your own growthand expansion.
(09:42):
So, number one, how you want tobe more charismatic.
First, you can't startfidgeting and pull at things and
have shifty eye contact and,you know, be moving stuff all
(10:07):
over the place.
You really have to have agrounded, calm stance, whether
you are standing up.
If you're standing up, youdon't, you know, put your, you
don't close your arms right.
Open arms, open body signals,warmth, making sure that you are
(10:37):
breathing calmly.
This demonstrates a level ofcompetence.
People see you as powerful,relaxed.
They people see you as powerful, relaxed and and you can do
(11:02):
this even if you don't feelrelaxed inside, even if you have
anxiety inside.
Because I have gone to manyinterviews, I only told you
about one.
I've done many and they've all,except for one disastrous
interview, which is a wholenother story went pretty pretty
well like very high up on thethe poll here and I absolutely
(11:23):
felt anxious in some of them.
I absolutely had nerves in someof them, but I know how to have
that feeling, but not let itshow on my body and all it is is
practice.
That's all it is.
It's practice.
So what's really great, ifyou're going to use this for
(11:43):
interviews or any kind ofpitching, is to tape yourself of
pitching is to tape yourself.
Right, have a practice.
I used to practice all the time.
I don't necessarily recommendpracticing as hardcore as I used
to practice.
It was a little bitborderlining um, perfectionism,
(12:07):
almost.
I don't think you need to go ashard as I did, but absolutely
practicing until you feelconfident is is going to make
such a big difference andwatching yourself back.
I often have clients who tellme that the recording they get
(12:27):
from our sessions because wealways record the sessions for
them is absolutelytransformative just from that,
just from watching themselves onthe recording, just from
hearing themselves.
So number one if you want tolook more competent is do not
fidget.
(12:48):
Is do not fidget.
Okay, be calm, be peaceful, butalso be open.
Next one make eye contact.
Now, I don't mean drill youreyes deep into their soul, okay,
(13:09):
until they feel super, superawkward, but not having shifty
eyes or looking down and I knowthis can be a form, you know,
when anxiety hits, we can startdoing this.
But it's really important thatyou're able to make eye contact.
But it's really important thatyou're able to make eye contact.
(13:30):
First of all, this signalsconfidence.
It signals competence.
What Vanessa Van Edwards oftentalks about is warming your eyes
first.
So it means smiling with youreyes and practicing that before
you speak.
Right, because what do we want?
(13:52):
We want to mix again competenceand warmth.
What else can you do to be morecharismatic?
You can mirror the person'senergy.
You can repeat back certainwords that they said.
(14:12):
I used to reframe a word.
I used to hear people's wordsand I would speak it back in the
word that I like to use.
Right, because sometimes wehave different words that mean
the same thing.
But what's even more powerfulis just repeating the words that
(14:34):
they use.
This increases trust building.
Now, you don't want to do it ina weird manipulative way, right,
because a lot of these thingsyou can almost take it too far
and it becomes odd, it becomesstrange and that is the furthest
(14:57):
thing we want from beingcharismatic.
That's why I say you practice,but you don't want to be putting
on a performance, you want topractice so it becomes your
natural state.
I do believe most people reallyare.
(15:17):
They have that charismaticability.
It's just that they haven'tpracticed it and all the
limiting beliefs we pick up overthe years can really dim it.
They pick up over the years canreally dim it, but ultimately
we wanna practice these thingsso your natural authentic state
comes through okay, and that isultimately very charismatic.
(15:39):
So again, mirroring theirenergy Another thing you can do
that's really charismatic.
That can also go the absolutewrong way when overused and I
see a lot of salespeople will dothis and I've had to call out
(16:01):
some salespeople because it getsreally weird.
But that is using a person'sname.
So of course this builds trust.
It builds connection.
So of course this builds trust.
It builds connection.
But if you're using their nameevery two seconds, as when you
were talking, this is when itgets weird, and I don't know if
(16:23):
this is a nervousness thatpeople fall into or they've just
heard that saying a person'sname, it can be a powerful way
to build a connection and leadto sales, etc.
And then they just like use ituntil it becomes very strange.
But again, we want this to benatural.
(16:48):
So using it at the beginning ofa conversation and then letting
it go, and maybe using it atthe end of the conversation, but
not every second sentence thatyou say and that builds warmth.
Also, again, I already mentionedit in the story that I told you
(17:12):
but posture is huge.
This is a huge one.
Even doing this alone and yourcharismatic meter is going to go
sky high.
Shoulders back, straighten up,head up, head up and walking
(17:42):
with a relaxed stance.
I often do this when I practice, when I go for walks, I'll put
on some music that I really likeand I get into the energy that
I am calling in.
So if, let's say, I'm evenmanifesting something or I'll
play with almost differentcharacters because I like it,
it's fun for me and I will walk.
And it's such a difference whenyou are consciously practicing
(18:08):
walking and really putting focusinto it than just walking in
our natural way.
So sometimes, when I walk in mynatural way, I'm all over the
place.
That's one thing about me is Ihave very polar ways about me.
So in one way, I'm extremelycharismatic.
(18:33):
I know when to turn it on Again, not a performance, but I know
when to bring it forth frominside of me.
But on the flip side, sometimesI can be super, super awkward
right, I can be super awkward, Ican be walking, I can look
awkward, and it's okay to havethese pieces within you that
(18:56):
look like polar opposites, andstill be able to be charismatic.
So you don't I don't care whereyou're starting from.
If you start implementing someof these things this week with
people, you're going to notice adifference.
Some of these things this weekwith people, you're going to
(19:17):
notice a difference.
So here's another one that'sreally really, really helpful,
and this one goes intocompetence and also warmth, and
it leaves a very good impressionon people, and that is asking
questions.
(19:37):
So I don't know if you've everbeen to a networking event.
I've been to many networkingevents, sometimes I think too
many and there has been multipleoccasions where I remember
(19:57):
people just simply talking aboutthemselves.
Nothing wrong with talkingabout yourself, by the way, and
sharing parts of you, butliterally dominating the whole
conversation and just talkingabout themselves.
This does not build any trust,this is not warmth, and I would
(20:25):
even argue it it.
Borderlines are not seemingvery competent either.
It just seems like a trying toput into words the energy when
someone is.
It's almost like an anxiousenergy, even though it doesn't
really seem like the person isanxious, but it can come across
as as that or or simply um,self-absorbed.
(20:47):
To be honest not that that I'mlate, I don't want to label
people as self-absorbed, but ifyou have anxieties about going
into a networking event becauseyou think you're going to have
to talk about yourself and youdon't like talking about
yourself, again, there's nothingwrong with talking about
yourself.
But you want to be able to begiving and receiving.
(21:11):
But if you're feeling anxiousabout giving, so talking about
yourself, just ask questions.
People love to answer questionsabout themselves.
I think it is Dale Carnegie inDale Carnegie's book how to Make
(21:34):
Friends and Influence Peoplehow to make friends and
influence people, where heshares how beneficial it is to
ask questions.
This is one of the reasons whyI typically do so well in
pitches or interviews is that Ialways have a list of questions
(21:56):
that I want to ask.
It's one of the easiest thingsyou can do and then listen to
the person's answer.
Don't just fire off questionslike one after the other and
you're not even listening towhat they're saying.
You want to ask these questions.
(22:16):
Hear what the person is saying,ask follow-up questions to do
with that right.
Let them know you are present,you are listening to them.
I think I've done podcasts onthe art of presence and how
powerful it is, because mostpeople are not present, they are
(22:41):
in their own head or they aredistracted.
We live in a very distractedsociety.
So when someone is fullypresent with you, leaning in,
making eye contact, asking youquestions and listening to what
(23:02):
you're saying and repeating itback and asking follow-up
questions, that makes a huge,massive impact.
And I don't say this lightly,because I'm saying it and you
may be thinking, but that's likenothing Like.
So I'm just leaning in and I'mjust like listening and then I'm
(23:24):
, you know, asking questions andrepeating it back.
But think about how many peoplethe past week have done that
for you, have held that spacefor you.
Think about how many people inthe last month have done that or
the last year.
To be honest, I can think of inmy life very few people who do
(23:51):
that well, and a lot of them Ipay as my coach or someone that
I'm working with.
So start doing these simple,simple practices and you are
going to appear, whether youfeel like it or not, more
(24:12):
charismatic, and it's going tochange your business, your
career, your personal life.
I promise you that.
As always, leader, I appreciateyou.
Thank you for listening.
I hope you can hear this okay.
Again, I'm on vacation so I'mjust recording this on my
(24:34):
earphones.
I don't have my my usual micwith me, but send me a message
on Instagram If you'd like aquestion answered on the podcast
.
You can always ask a questionor you can text it to me in the
show notes.
I believe it's on in the shownotes directly from the podcast
website on my website, lisaJeffscom, the podcast website on
(25:02):
my website, lisajeffscom.
If you'd like to go deeper onsome of these tactics, reach out
and let's talk about anintensive and see if an
intensive where we work togetherin a VIP afternoon and then you
have a week of support to startimplementing some of these
actions, is a good fit for whatyou are going through right now
and what your goals are.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I love you, leader.
I appreciate you.
Magnetic Big dreams believe init.
Wisdom, we seeking it.
Everything that you're lookingfor, brought to you by Lisa
Jeffs, the Magnetic Leader.
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