August 25, 2025 • 23 mins
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We explore how leaders can build meaningful relationships in an increasingly digital world where technology often encourages lazy, transactional interactions. Technology should enhance our work rather than replace the human elements that make business relationships meaningful.
• The pandemic and rise of AI have made relationship-building even more challenging
• Many leaders take a purely transactional approach that fails to connect with people
• Mass emails, generic outreach, and AI-generated content are ineffective relationship strategies
• Effective relationship building starts with giving value before making requests
• Small gestures like sending coffee before a Zoom meeting make lasting impressions
• Thoughtful marketing (like a real estate agent delivering Halloween pumpkins) creates stronger connections than traditional advertising
• People remember how you make them feel, not what you're selling
• Building relationships is a long game that requires patience but yields greater returns
• When reaching out to someone, always consider "what's in it for them" before thinking about yourself
Thanks for Listening! We appreciate you. Sending you love and gratitude.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Music.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Welcome to the show leaders.
Today we have a new episode, anew type of episode.
I'm here with Alan.
He is going to be my co-host.
We're testing out a new version.
Is going to be my co-host.
We're testing out a new version.
We're going to be bringingtogether my coaching and Alan's
HR background to assess and giveour thoughts and opinions on
(00:54):
leadership and entrepreneurshipand all the good things to help
you be the most successful inyour work.
Alan, how do you feel?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I feel great Lisa.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Let's talk about these great leaders of today and
tomorrow.
Yes, yes, yes.
So this is actually the secondversion of this podcast that
we're doing, because the firsttime we did it it was so good,
we had so many insights thatcame through.
I'm like we got to share thisbecause these are really, really
(01:29):
powerful.
So you're going to want tostick around to hear some of
these insights, because this isgoing to help you stand out
above the crowd.
There's so much noise online,so do you want to introduce our
topic, ellen?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, absolutely Lisa .
What's our topic again?
Yeah, absolutely Lisa.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
What's our topic again?
How to build strongrelationships in a digital world
where it's really easy to getlazy.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Especially today, with the days of AI just booming
and developing.
It's like it's just so easy toget caught up in that and become
lazy.
Quite honestly and if I can behonest, I see a lot of lazy
leaders out there At the end ofthe day, it's comfortable, and
so sometimes the most growthhappens when you're out of your
(02:13):
comfort zone, and that's one ofthe things I realized over the
last couple of years.
That's where true growthhappens, and so, for some of
these leaders, we really want toget them out of their comfort
zone, which is habits thataren't necessarily working right
now.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, so let's.
Why don't we talk about some ofthe habits that I see are not
working?
They can take a lot of time andthey're just not impactful.
So I can start, because I wasranting about this in our last
yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Let's do that.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
For me.
I get so many emails, I get somany people reaching out and I
have nothing against a personhustling and wanting to get
their business out, wanting toget their workout pitching.
I have nothing against that.
I'm in sales, I love sales, Ithink sales are great, but
there's a way to do it to openthe door and create
(03:07):
relationships that are going tohave a positive payoff for years
to come, even if there's not animmediate payoff, and there's a
way to do it that feels verytransactional.
It feels like you're takingfrom a person.
You just want to see what youcan get, and that just doesn't
feel good.
And in a world where technologyseems to be taking over the
(03:32):
human-to-human relationshipconnection, if you can put in
the effort, get out of yourcomfort zone and get back to
basics, this is going to allowyou to stand out above the noise
, like so far above the noise100%.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It's not just, it's not ignoring technology, it's
how to work best with technology.
And it's not just leveragingtechnology how do you work with
the tools?
And I think to your point, it'sbringing in that human element
coupled with the technology.
That's really going to bringthe return on investment more
positive way.
And at the end of the day,you're right.
(04:08):
I think people have forgottenhow to build those relationships
, whether it's leaders, whetherit's business development people
, whether it's people goingthrough Bumble or whatever and
they're swiping, exactly I thinkpeople have forgotten Exactly,
albeit.
In all fairness, the pandemiccertainly didn't help and I
(04:31):
think it's made everything worse.
But now we're in a place of weneed to leverage technology, but
we need to go back to basics,like you said, and really get
back to connecting with peoplethrough technology, and there's
a way to do it.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Listen.
The pandemic made everythingworse.
Ai is now making everythingtwice as bad.
Not that I have anything wrongwith AI.
I love AI.
I use it every day.
It's very helpful.
But I'm starting to get emailsthat are very clearly AI created
, and not an email where youplug it in and you get AI to
(05:05):
edit it, or, you know, fix thegrammar, fix it up, but just AI
emails.
It's not connecting.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You want to talk about AI just from an HR
perspective.
So this is the most hilariousand scary thing at the same time
.
People are leveraging AI towrite their resumes, and then we
have companies leveraging AI toscreen out the resumes.
So the same resumes that AI ishaving create is screening out
those resumes.
It's insane.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It's insane.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
And so where do you stand out in this age?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
of.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
AI and I think that there's ways to be able to stand
out and make yourself do alittle bit of work.
Put in some work.
Put in some work.
I could see the draw to AIright to do the work, but AI
should be enhancing your work,not doing your work.
There's a difference.
I think what you shared was sointeresting.
(06:02):
I think you should share.
Tell everybody about the emailsthat you're getting, because I
find this interesting.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Okay, and this has nothing to do with AI.
This is actually has nothing todo with technology.
This is a whole nother aspectof it, but it is.
It does go into the takingmentality.
Yeah, how can I take?
And I am very old school whenit comes to if you're going to
ask for something, make sureyou're giving before you ask.
(06:31):
Also, make sure your ask isconnected to how it benefits the
person that you are asking.
So I'll give you an example.
Every week, I get a multitude ofemails.
I can't even tell you how manyemails I get.
They're all the same.
Someone is teaching this.
I was telling Alan.
(06:51):
I'm like who's teaching this?
Because they need to be fired.
They should not be teachingthis.
I know it's someone.
They have a program.
They're teaching it.
People are investing in it.
I don't even blame the peopleusing this, because I know
they're simply being taught this.
It is authors who are passionateabout their book.
They want to get their book outthere.
(07:12):
So they're taking a course thatsays this is how you get your
book out there, but it's notgood.
So I get these emails andpeople want me to review their
book.
They then are asking if I likethe book, to share it with my
community, share it on my blogwhich again is a lot of work to
(07:34):
make an article, to make a blogand if I'm interested, they will
send me a PDF version.
You have to think why am I goingto respond and say yes?
The only ones I respond and sayyes are the ones who ask hey, I
would love to send you a copy ofmy book, because then they are
(07:58):
putting in the effort, they areputting in the work they are
showing me, they are invested inthis relationship and willing
to send the book.
It wasn't, it was taught to me,but I love this idea of if I
want someone to review my, mybook or whatever I'm creating,
(08:20):
send not only sending them acopy, but sending them a copy,
and sending a copy that they cangive away as a gift, and maybe
even sending the third copy thatthey can share with their
community.
So I'm providing it to them,I'm also giving them another one
so they look like the giver,and it's just this form of give
(08:44):
first and then make the ass, asopposed to shooting 20, 30, 40,
50 emails a day I don't know howmany emails these people are
shooting out and hoping andpraying.
Somebody says yeah, send me thePDF.
I'm going to review it on myblog, which I don't think
they're getting much response atall well, it's dehumanizing,
(09:07):
right.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
It just takes the human element out of it.
And, quite frankly, what's init for you?
In it for you?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
there's nothing in for me.
There's no incentive.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Exactly the incentive is not there and the incentive
doesn't have to be huge.
It could be something so smallor meaningful.
It doesn't have to be anythingtangible like.
It doesn't have to be stuff.
It could be a gesture.
One of the things I mentioned toyou when we were sort of
talking about this.
If it was me and let's just sayI didn't have the funds to be
(09:37):
able to create the book and so Ijust had a PDF to work with
what I personally would do is Ifthere were, say, 10 people that
I wanted to pitch this to and Iwanted to have them review on
their blogs because I valuetheir input I would put in the
(09:57):
work, I would do research onthem and I would try to find out
when their birthday is.
On their birthday I would senda quick birthday note to say,
hey, note's your day.
Want to say happy birthday andI've got this book.
Send me a PDF.
Would really love if you couldshare your thoughts or whatever.
(10:17):
It just makes it a little bitmore meaningful.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I'm not spending my money.
It's just a different,meaningful approach.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Shooting out 30 emails with the same email at
the end of the day exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
If I were to receive that, I would be like, oh shit,
this person took the time toreally learn my when my birthday
is and at the same time, Iwould be a little like I mean,
you find out.
But listen, we live in adigital age, so information is
very much out there.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
And so that would.
For me, that would be verymeaningful.
Yes, I'd be more apt to respond.
So, again, it's just using yourtime wisely and bringing in
that human element, humanizingthe I'll call it transaction,
but making it not feel like atransaction at the same time.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yes, making it feel like a relationship, a
connection.
I think one of the ones that weshared last week was, before
reaching out especially if thisis a business owner or a creator
or someone in the field wherethey are putting out their own
work First review, review theirbusiness.
(11:31):
Leave them a Google review.
Leave them a podcast review ifthey have a podcast, send them,
take a video testimonial sharingthat you've gone through their
blog, how much you appreciatetheir work.
Send them the video testimonialand say, hey, I don't know if
you can use this, but I wantedto create it because I was
(11:52):
impacted so much by your blog.
Thank you for sharing what youdo.
I also have a book that I'vejust created.
And then, continuing theconversation, I would love if
someone did that to me.
Of course, I would take a lookat their book and especially if
what they shared was they reallytruly went through my book,
(12:14):
they really read and left me ameaningful testimonial, because
one of the things that I can seepeople do all the time is
they'll go through a couple oflines and they'll say they'll
read a couple of lines and sharehow meaningful it was, but they
haven't actually read the wholebook.
Someone else is teaching thatstrategy as well.
(12:35):
I'm just like we gotta do.
There are some people teachingsome not so great strategies.
Clearly these are not the right.
I don't blame the people doingit.
I blame the people teaching ityeah because it's very
transactional and we gotta goback to the basics.
When my dad had his commercialconstruction company, there was
no internet.
He did very well by buildingrelationships with people
(13:02):
handwritten cards, handwrittengifts, paying attention to
someone's birthday, payingattention to someone's wife.
What's her birthday?
Right?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
learning the names of kids that's really back to
basics, that's deep, that'sactually deep relationship
building, quite frankly that isme today that's what I'm talking
about, president Clinton.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Bill Clinton, he apparently had the most insane
memory to where he would meetsomeone, learn the names of the
kids, learn the names of theirwife, and then years later would
meet that same person again andsay, oh, how's Jonathan?
He must be seven right now.
(13:48):
Jonathan, he must be sevenright now.
Could you imagine if someonecame to you had that memory and
hi, instant hook.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I'm like, oh, we're friends now even if Bill Clinton
came up to me and didn't knowshit about me, I'd be like we
are friends regardless, but,yeah, absolutely, someone comes
to you 100, that's true deeprelationship building and we
just don't see much of that.
We've lost the art of it.
But again, there's a way ofweaving that into technology and
(14:18):
one of the things that I havedone in the past in my business
development years.
I get we live in a digital age.
I understand that years ago itused to be about coffee dates.
Right, hey, meet me for coffee.
Let's talk about whatever.
If you're looking to buildwhatever pipeline, people aren't
necessarily doing that thesedays.
They want a Zoom call, theywant a Teams call or they want
(14:42):
some sort of digital call, whichis fine and so.
But why not bring in the humanelement in the sense that send
them a gift card or coffee, oractually you know the coffee
itself.
Yes, what do you want?
Love to have a coffee, or tea.
Whatever your beverage ofchoice is not an alcoholic, of
course.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
It depends on the kind of meeting you're after
either way and actually justsend them a drink and then have
the call while you're havingthat drink.
I just feel like that wouldland so well today and it's
landed well for me in the past.
Quite honestly, someone didthat to me once and I gotta say,
being on the receiving end,that landed really well yeah,
(15:23):
really well put in the extrathat's how you stand out, right,
if you want to stand out.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Get creative, think out of the box.
Do not do what everyone else isdoing Sending mass emails,
sending mass pictures onLinkedIn.
I get these messages all thetime on LinkedIn and there is
nothing that makes me want toreply, less than accepting a
connection and someoneimmediately going into pitch
(15:52):
mode.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah, that happens all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Would you do that in public with someone that you
just met, not say hi, how areyou?
Hey, you want this, you wantthis thing.
It's not Vegas, where you walkdown the street and they're
handing out cards left, rightand center.
This is about putting yourselfout as a leader, as someone who
(16:17):
wants to do business.
You have to do better.
You can't see people as justdollar signs.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
You need to be relationship focused.
You need to build relationshipsbecause it will, your return on
investment will be much higher.
A CEO books five let's just say, a CEO books five Zoom calls in
a day, let's just say.
And they're all digital.
However, one of thoseindividuals sends the CEO a
(16:49):
coffee for their Zoom call.
You don't think, when it comestime to pull whatever trigger or
sign whatever contract, thatthat CEO is going to not
remember that one person whoactually sent them a coffee.
Again, it's not the coffee,it's the gesture.
It's a gesture.
Yeah, the effort is gesture.
Yeah, that makes me stand out.
(17:10):
I think that's the point,ultimately, that we're trying to
make Stand out.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Don't blend in.
Don't blend in.
I'll share the one with thereal estate agent because that
one is a really it's good.
This is a perfect example ofthinking outside the box.
So what do real estate agentsoften do?
You often see their posters andthey put up different
(17:34):
billboards and wallies in thearea that I am, which is great.
I mean, it is good.
When we see something over andover right, we learn to trust
that, which is good.
But this real estate agent wentabove and beyond and, to be
honest, when you look at howmuch people spend on advertising
, it was money well spent.
(17:54):
Every Halloween, we would get apumpkin.
This real estate agent wouldrent a van, which was what did
we come up with?
A couple hundred dollarsprobably he spent on that.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Per day.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
He would get, maybe, I don't know, 300 pumpkins.
Let's say, if it's right, adollar a pumpkin, three hundred
dollars, the notice that he puton the pumpkin, so his own card,
his own flyer, which might havebeen a hundred if that because
you got those in bulk right.
So let's say he spent eighthundred dollars on this.
(18:31):
Every halloween he woulddeliver a pumpkin to a house
every halloween.
I associated him, his work, hisface, with generosity, because
now I don't have to go out andbuy a pumpkin.
Right thoughtfulness yeah also.
(18:52):
Those things were magnetic.
We stick it on our fridge, sowe're seeing him.
This is next level advertisingcost psychological sales.
Psychological yeahpsychological eight hundred
dollars.
If you spend eight hundreddollars on meta ads, you can
easily it can go up in the airand you get nothing from it.
It's just thinking outside ofthe box thinking about people,
(19:17):
right.
What can people use?
What can they need?
How can I get my name out therein a unique way to stand above
the crowd, to make myself knownand to give back.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
When you give like that, the natural universal law
is you're gonna get yeah you'regonna get back yeah, even if he
got one listing out of that onelisting exactly one listing he
gets back his 800 bucks, andthen some, and then some.
But it's psychological at theend of the day that sticks out.
(19:49):
That sticks out in your mind,not today or tomorrow, but over
time.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Because that is a long game where you can make a
very substantial gain.
The problem is a lot of peoplewant payback.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Well, that's the age we live in, right?
We live in this day and age offast ATMs.
We want our money fastDrive-thru.
We want our coffee fast.
We want our Big Macs fast wedrive through.
We're so used to that instantgratification and sometimes,
(20:22):
when it comes to theserelationships, it is thinking
outside the box and it's timeand it's consistency and doing
something repeatedly, becausethat is what people remember at
the end of the day that is whatpeople remember.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yeah, that's really one-off.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Well, sometimes a one-off depend depending on well
doing it consistently willstick in people's mind and they
will associate that with youmuch, like you do so, yes,
people remember how you makethem feel, not how much you love
your stuff, and you thinkeveryone else should love it too
.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, that's the wrong way of looking at it.
You got to think about theother person on the end first,
as opposed to how much can I getmy stuff out here?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yeah, what's in it for that?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
With them what's?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
in it for me, but first what's in it for them.
You have to think what's in itfor them, what's in it for me?
But reversed.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
What's in it for them ?
You have to think what's in itfor them.
What's in it for them If you'remaking an ask of something?
What's in it for them?
So I hope everybody you foundthis helpful, make your
relationship back to basics.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Work with technology.
Don't have technology.
Work you.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Exactly Send those copies.
I've sent Uber when someone hasposted a celebration, let's say
on LinkedIn.
I've just done this.
I've just done this.
I've sent people Uber like justa gift card, and said hey,
you're not in the sameneighborhood, I want to take you
out for dinner, but have dinneron me.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
That is terrific.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
You care about the person enough to go in there,
set that up, send them the Uberthat makes such an impact.
Yeah, if you're going to putmoney towards not that you have
to put money towards you don'thave to do anything that costs
money.
It's the time and the effort.
But if you're going to putmoney towards advertising,
instead of putting all yourmoney into ads, ads, ads, ads
(22:13):
think outside of the box.
How can you have a certainamount of your marketing fund
per month and do things likethis?
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Because it's these things that people remember,
it's these standards.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Exactly, exactly, all right.
So I hope you enjoyed thisepisode.
This is a new format.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Thank you everyone, Stay tuned.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Stay tuned for more.
Al's birthday is in a couple ofdays, for anyone that's
wondering, and, as always, let'sstay connected.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Tap into your pen of power.
You got this.
Now go get it, living up toyour full potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams Believe in it.
Wisdom we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by LisaJeffs, the magnetic leader.
Music.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Welcome to the show leaders.
Today we have a new episode, anew type of episode.
I'm here with Alan.
He is going to be my co-host.
We're testing out a new version.
Is going to be my co-host.
We're testing out a new version.
We're going to be bringingtogether my coaching and Alan's
HR background to assess and giveour thoughts and opinions on
(00:54):
leadership and entrepreneurshipand all the good things to help
you be the most successful inyour work.
Alan, how do you feel?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I feel great Lisa.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Let's talk about these great leaders of today and
tomorrow.
Yes, yes, yes.
So this is actually the secondversion of this podcast that
we're doing, because the firsttime we did it it was so good,
we had so many insights thatcame through.
I'm like we got to share thisbecause these are really, really
(01:29):
powerful.
So you're going to want tostick around to hear some of
these insights, because this isgoing to help you stand out
above the crowd.
There's so much noise online,so do you want to introduce our
topic, ellen?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, absolutely Lisa .
What's our topic again?
Yeah, absolutely Lisa.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
What's our topic again?
How to build strongrelationships in a digital world
where it's really easy to getlazy.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Especially today, with the days of AI just booming
and developing.
It's like it's just so easy toget caught up in that and become
lazy.
Quite honestly and if I can behonest, I see a lot of lazy
leaders out there At the end ofthe day, it's comfortable, and
so sometimes the most growthhappens when you're out of your
(02:13):
comfort zone, and that's one ofthe things I realized over the
last couple of years.
That's where true growthhappens, and so, for some of
these leaders, we really want toget them out of their comfort
zone, which is habits thataren't necessarily working right
now.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, so let's.
Why don't we talk about some ofthe habits that I see are not
working?
They can take a lot of time andthey're just not impactful.
So I can start, because I wasranting about this in our last
yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Let's do that.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
For me.
I get so many emails, I get somany people reaching out and I
have nothing against a personhustling and wanting to get
their business out, wanting toget their workout pitching.
I have nothing against that.
I'm in sales, I love sales, Ithink sales are great, but
there's a way to do it to openthe door and create
(03:07):
relationships that are going tohave a positive payoff for years
to come, even if there's not animmediate payoff, and there's a
way to do it that feels verytransactional.
It feels like you're takingfrom a person.
You just want to see what youcan get, and that just doesn't
feel good.
And in a world where technologyseems to be taking over the
(03:32):
human-to-human relationshipconnection, if you can put in
the effort, get out of yourcomfort zone and get back to
basics, this is going to allowyou to stand out above the noise
, like so far above the noise100%.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It's not just, it's not ignoring technology, it's
how to work best with technology.
And it's not just leveragingtechnology how do you work with
the tools?
And I think to your point, it'sbringing in that human element
coupled with the technology.
That's really going to bringthe return on investment more
positive way.
And at the end of the day,you're right.
(04:08):
I think people have forgottenhow to build those relationships
, whether it's leaders, whetherit's business development people
, whether it's people goingthrough Bumble or whatever and
they're swiping, exactly I thinkpeople have forgotten Exactly,
albeit.
In all fairness, the pandemiccertainly didn't help and I
(04:31):
think it's made everything worse.
But now we're in a place of weneed to leverage technology, but
we need to go back to basics,like you said, and really get
back to connecting with peoplethrough technology, and there's
a way to do it.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Listen.
The pandemic made everythingworse.
Ai is now making everythingtwice as bad.
Not that I have anything wrongwith AI.
I love AI.
I use it every day.
It's very helpful.
But I'm starting to get emailsthat are very clearly AI created
, and not an email where youplug it in and you get AI to
(05:05):
edit it, or, you know, fix thegrammar, fix it up, but just AI
emails.
It's not connecting.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You want to talk about AI just from an HR
perspective.
So this is the most hilariousand scary thing at the same time
.
People are leveraging AI towrite their resumes, and then we
have companies leveraging AI toscreen out the resumes.
So the same resumes that AI ishaving create is screening out
those resumes.
It's insane.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It's insane.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
And so where do you stand out in this age?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
of.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
AI and I think that there's ways to be able to stand
out and make yourself do alittle bit of work.
Put in some work.
Put in some work.
I could see the draw to AIright to do the work, but AI
should be enhancing your work,not doing your work.
There's a difference.
I think what you shared was sointeresting.
(06:02):
I think you should share.
Tell everybody about the emailsthat you're getting, because I
find this interesting.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Okay, and this has nothing to do with AI.
This is actually has nothing todo with technology.
This is a whole nother aspectof it, but it is.
It does go into the takingmentality.
Yeah, how can I take?
And I am very old school whenit comes to if you're going to
ask for something, make sureyou're giving before you ask.
(06:31):
Also, make sure your ask isconnected to how it benefits the
person that you are asking.
So I'll give you an example.
Every week, I get a multitude ofemails.
I can't even tell you how manyemails I get.
They're all the same.
Someone is teaching this.
I was telling Alan.
(06:51):
I'm like who's teaching this?
Because they need to be fired.
They should not be teachingthis.
I know it's someone.
They have a program.
They're teaching it.
People are investing in it.
I don't even blame the peopleusing this, because I know
they're simply being taught this.
It is authors who are passionateabout their book.
They want to get their book outthere.
(07:12):
So they're taking a course thatsays this is how you get your
book out there, but it's notgood.
So I get these emails andpeople want me to review their
book.
They then are asking if I likethe book, to share it with my
community, share it on my blogwhich again is a lot of work to
(07:34):
make an article, to make a blogand if I'm interested, they will
send me a PDF version.
You have to think why am I goingto respond and say yes?
The only ones I respond and sayyes are the ones who ask hey, I
would love to send you a copy ofmy book, because then they are
(07:58):
putting in the effort, they areputting in the work they are
showing me, they are invested inthis relationship and willing
to send the book.
It wasn't, it was taught to me,but I love this idea of if I
want someone to review my, mybook or whatever I'm creating,
(08:20):
send not only sending them acopy, but sending them a copy,
and sending a copy that they cangive away as a gift, and maybe
even sending the third copy thatthey can share with their
community.
So I'm providing it to them,I'm also giving them another one
so they look like the giver,and it's just this form of give
(08:44):
first and then make the ass, asopposed to shooting 20, 30, 40,
50 emails a day I don't know howmany emails these people are
shooting out and hoping andpraying.
Somebody says yeah, send me thePDF.
I'm going to review it on myblog, which I don't think
they're getting much response atall well, it's dehumanizing,
(09:07):
right.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
It just takes the human element out of it.
And, quite frankly, what's init for you?
In it for you?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
there's nothing in for me.
There's no incentive.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Exactly the incentive is not there and the incentive
doesn't have to be huge.
It could be something so smallor meaningful.
It doesn't have to be anythingtangible like.
It doesn't have to be stuff.
It could be a gesture.
One of the things I mentioned toyou when we were sort of
talking about this.
If it was me and let's just sayI didn't have the funds to be
(09:37):
able to create the book and so Ijust had a PDF to work with
what I personally would do is Ifthere were, say, 10 people that
I wanted to pitch this to and Iwanted to have them review on
their blogs because I valuetheir input I would put in the
(09:57):
work, I would do research onthem and I would try to find out
when their birthday is.
On their birthday I would senda quick birthday note to say,
hey, note's your day.
Want to say happy birthday andI've got this book.
Send me a PDF.
Would really love if you couldshare your thoughts or whatever.
(10:17):
It just makes it a little bitmore meaningful.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I'm not spending my money.
It's just a different,meaningful approach.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Shooting out 30 emails with the same email at
the end of the day exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
If I were to receive that, I would be like, oh shit,
this person took the time toreally learn my when my birthday
is and at the same time, Iwould be a little like I mean,
you find out.
But listen, we live in adigital age, so information is
very much out there.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
And so that would.
For me, that would be verymeaningful.
Yes, I'd be more apt to respond.
So, again, it's just using yourtime wisely and bringing in
that human element, humanizingthe I'll call it transaction,
but making it not feel like atransaction at the same time.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yes, making it feel like a relationship, a
connection.
I think one of the ones that weshared last week was, before
reaching out especially if thisis a business owner or a creator
or someone in the field wherethey are putting out their own
work First review, review theirbusiness.
(11:31):
Leave them a Google review.
Leave them a podcast review ifthey have a podcast, send them,
take a video testimonial sharingthat you've gone through their
blog, how much you appreciatetheir work.
Send them the video testimonialand say, hey, I don't know if
you can use this, but I wantedto create it because I was
(11:52):
impacted so much by your blog.
Thank you for sharing what youdo.
I also have a book that I'vejust created.
And then, continuing theconversation, I would love if
someone did that to me.
Of course, I would take a lookat their book and especially if
what they shared was they reallytruly went through my book,
(12:14):
they really read and left me ameaningful testimonial, because
one of the things that I can seepeople do all the time is
they'll go through a couple oflines and they'll say they'll
read a couple of lines and sharehow meaningful it was, but they
haven't actually read the wholebook.
Someone else is teaching thatstrategy as well.
(12:35):
I'm just like we gotta do.
There are some people teachingsome not so great strategies.
Clearly these are not the right.
I don't blame the people doingit.
I blame the people teaching ityeah because it's very
transactional and we gotta goback to the basics.
When my dad had his commercialconstruction company, there was
no internet.
He did very well by buildingrelationships with people
(13:02):
handwritten cards, handwrittengifts, paying attention to
someone's birthday, payingattention to someone's wife.
What's her birthday?
Right?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
learning the names of kids that's really back to
basics, that's deep, that'sactually deep relationship
building, quite frankly that isme today that's what I'm talking
about, president Clinton.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Bill Clinton, he apparently had the most insane
memory to where he would meetsomeone, learn the names of the
kids, learn the names of theirwife, and then years later would
meet that same person again andsay, oh, how's Jonathan?
He must be seven right now.
(13:48):
Jonathan, he must be sevenright now.
Could you imagine if someonecame to you had that memory and
hi, instant hook.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I'm like, oh, we're friends now even if Bill Clinton
came up to me and didn't knowshit about me, I'd be like we
are friends regardless, but,yeah, absolutely, someone comes
to you 100, that's true deeprelationship building and we
just don't see much of that.
We've lost the art of it.
But again, there's a way ofweaving that into technology and
(14:18):
one of the things that I havedone in the past in my business
development years.
I get we live in a digital age.
I understand that years ago itused to be about coffee dates.
Right, hey, meet me for coffee.
Let's talk about whatever.
If you're looking to buildwhatever pipeline, people aren't
necessarily doing that thesedays.
They want a Zoom call, theywant a Teams call or they want
(14:42):
some sort of digital call, whichis fine and so.
But why not bring in the humanelement in the sense that send
them a gift card or coffee, oractually you know the coffee
itself.
Yes, what do you want?
Love to have a coffee, or tea.
Whatever your beverage ofchoice is not an alcoholic, of
course.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
It depends on the kind of meeting you're after
either way and actually justsend them a drink and then have
the call while you're havingthat drink.
I just feel like that wouldland so well today and it's
landed well for me in the past.
Quite honestly, someone didthat to me once and I gotta say,
being on the receiving end,that landed really well yeah,
(15:23):
really well put in the extrathat's how you stand out, right,
if you want to stand out.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Get creative, think out of the box.
Do not do what everyone else isdoing Sending mass emails,
sending mass pictures onLinkedIn.
I get these messages all thetime on LinkedIn and there is
nothing that makes me want toreply, less than accepting a
connection and someoneimmediately going into pitch
(15:52):
mode.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah, that happens all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Would you do that in public with someone that you
just met, not say hi, how areyou?
Hey, you want this, you wantthis thing.
It's not Vegas, where you walkdown the street and they're
handing out cards left, rightand center.
This is about putting yourselfout as a leader, as someone who
(16:17):
wants to do business.
You have to do better.
You can't see people as justdollar signs.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
You need to be relationship focused.
You need to build relationshipsbecause it will, your return on
investment will be much higher.
A CEO books five let's just say, a CEO books five Zoom calls in
a day, let's just say.
And they're all digital.
However, one of thoseindividuals sends the CEO a
(16:49):
coffee for their Zoom call.
You don't think, when it comestime to pull whatever trigger or
sign whatever contract, thatthat CEO is going to not
remember that one person whoactually sent them a coffee.
Again, it's not the coffee,it's the gesture.
It's a gesture.
Yeah, the effort is gesture.
Yeah, that makes me stand out.
(17:10):
I think that's the point,ultimately, that we're trying to
make Stand out.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Don't blend in.
Don't blend in.
I'll share the one with thereal estate agent because that
one is a really it's good.
This is a perfect example ofthinking outside the box.
So what do real estate agentsoften do?
You often see their posters andthey put up different
(17:34):
billboards and wallies in thearea that I am, which is great.
I mean, it is good.
When we see something over andover right, we learn to trust
that, which is good.
But this real estate agent wentabove and beyond and, to be
honest, when you look at howmuch people spend on advertising
, it was money well spent.
(17:54):
Every Halloween, we would get apumpkin.
This real estate agent wouldrent a van, which was what did
we come up with?
A couple hundred dollarsprobably he spent on that.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Per day.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
He would get, maybe, I don't know, 300 pumpkins.
Let's say, if it's right, adollar a pumpkin, three hundred
dollars, the notice that he puton the pumpkin, so his own card,
his own flyer, which might havebeen a hundred if that because
you got those in bulk right.
So let's say he spent eighthundred dollars on this.
(18:31):
Every halloween he woulddeliver a pumpkin to a house
every halloween.
I associated him, his work, hisface, with generosity, because
now I don't have to go out andbuy a pumpkin.
Right thoughtfulness yeah also.
(18:52):
Those things were magnetic.
We stick it on our fridge, sowe're seeing him.
This is next level advertisingcost psychological sales.
Psychological yeahpsychological eight hundred
dollars.
If you spend eight hundreddollars on meta ads, you can
easily it can go up in the airand you get nothing from it.
It's just thinking outside ofthe box thinking about people,
(19:17):
right.
What can people use?
What can they need?
How can I get my name out therein a unique way to stand above
the crowd, to make myself knownand to give back.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
When you give like that, the natural universal law
is you're gonna get yeah you'regonna get back yeah, even if he
got one listing out of that onelisting exactly one listing he
gets back his 800 bucks, andthen some, and then some.
But it's psychological at theend of the day that sticks out.
(19:49):
That sticks out in your mind,not today or tomorrow, but over
time.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Because that is a long game where you can make a
very substantial gain.
The problem is a lot of peoplewant payback.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Well, that's the age we live in, right?
We live in this day and age offast ATMs.
We want our money fastDrive-thru.
We want our coffee fast.
We want our Big Macs fast wedrive through.
We're so used to that instantgratification and sometimes,
(20:22):
when it comes to theserelationships, it is thinking
outside the box and it's timeand it's consistency and doing
something repeatedly, becausethat is what people remember at
the end of the day that is whatpeople remember.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yeah, that's really one-off.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Well, sometimes a one-off depend depending on well
doing it consistently willstick in people's mind and they
will associate that with youmuch, like you do so, yes,
people remember how you makethem feel, not how much you love
your stuff, and you thinkeveryone else should love it too
.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, that's the wrong way of looking at it.
You got to think about theother person on the end first,
as opposed to how much can I getmy stuff out here?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yeah, what's in it for that?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
With them what's?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
in it for me, but first what's in it for them.
You have to think what's in itfor them, what's in it for me?
But reversed.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
What's in it for them ?
You have to think what's in itfor them.
What's in it for them If you'remaking an ask of something?
What's in it for them?
So I hope everybody you foundthis helpful, make your
relationship back to basics.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Work with technology.
Don't have technology.
Work you.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Exactly Send those copies.
I've sent Uber when someone hasposted a celebration, let's say
on LinkedIn.
I've just done this.
I've just done this.
I've sent people Uber like justa gift card, and said hey,
you're not in the sameneighborhood, I want to take you
out for dinner, but have dinneron me.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
That is terrific.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
You care about the person enough to go in there,
set that up, send them the Uberthat makes such an impact.
Yeah, if you're going to putmoney towards not that you have
to put money towards you don'thave to do anything that costs
money.
It's the time and the effort.
But if you're going to putmoney towards advertising,
instead of putting all yourmoney into ads, ads, ads, ads
(22:13):
think outside of the box.
How can you have a certainamount of your marketing fund
per month and do things likethis?
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Because it's these things that people remember,
it's these standards.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Exactly, exactly, all right.
So I hope you enjoyed thisepisode.
This is a new format.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Thank you everyone, Stay tuned.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Stay tuned for more.
Al's birthday is in a couple ofdays, for anyone that's
wondering, and, as always, let'sstay connected.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Tap into your pen of power.
You got this.
Now go get it, living up toyour full potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams Believe in it.
Wisdom we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by LisaJeffs, the magnetic leader.
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