May 3, 2025 • 17 mins
Send a text with a question you want answered on a podcast episode!!
Self-permission is the real key to confidence and leadership growth, not the other way around. Most of us hold back from taking action because we're unconsciously seeking external validation rather than trusting ourselves to move forward despite uncertainty.
• Most people mistakenly think they need confidence first when they really need to give themselves permission
• We're conditioned from childhood to seek validation from authority figures before taking action
• Be careful who you share your dreams with - many people will discourage you without understanding your vision
• Others sometimes benefit when you stay stuck, making their discouragement self-serving
• Confidence isn't a prerequisite for action - it's the byproduct of giving yourself permission
• True magnetism comes when you align with your values and vision without waiting for approval
• Challenge yourself to identify where you need to give yourself permission rather than seeking more confidence
If you're resonating with this message and want to join the Magnetic Leader Accelerator Beta program, reach out soon. The beta is ending shortly, and the included one-on-one coaching sessions won't be available with the regular program.
Thanks for Listening! We appreciate you. Sending you love and gratitude.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What if it wasn't confidence that you needed, but
you simply needed to giveyourself permission.
Leaders, this is gonna be agood one, very applicable, very
important.
Keep listening, let's getstarted.
Let's get started, let's getstarted.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Tap into your inner power.
You got this.
Now go get it, living up toyour full potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by lisajeffs, the magnetic leader.
It's time to soar.
Tap into your power of anentrepreneur.
Level up, step it up, because Ibelieve your purpose Time to be
(00:43):
a magnetic leader, hey.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Welcome to the show leaders.
You are listening to theMagnetic Leader.
The sound may be a little bitdifferent in this episode as I'm
not in my usual studio, butlet's get started.
This is all about reallyunderstanding what is holding
(01:11):
you back from going all in onyour vision, on what you want,
on a relationship in yourbusiness, in your career.
A lot of times when I work withleaders, executives, founders,
creatives, entrepreneurs I hearit all the time If I just had
(01:35):
more confidence, I would do this.
If I just had more confidence,I would speak up.
I know what I want, but Isecond guess myself all the time
, and I'm sure you can fill inthe blank with a multitude of
different other things that arebeing said either by you or by
(01:56):
someone else.
When I dig in with my clientsand we dig deeper into this, it
really isn't about confidence.
It's about permission.
So permission to go after whatyou want, permission to say
(02:16):
something that might beimperfect God forbid, oh my God.
Permission to trust yourself,even if you don't see results
yet, even if the entire world istelling you you're crazy for
doing something.
By the way, this one is huge.
(02:38):
This is one of the reasons whyI often share with my clients.
Be really, really careful whoyou talk to, who you speak to
about certain things.
I remember sharing aopportunity with a friend, and
it was an investment opportunityand this was a very good friend
(03:00):
.
So this wasn't just someone Ihad just met, so this was a very
, very good friend that I sharedthis opportunity with because I
knew that she could benefitfrom it.
And I'm not going to share anykind of opportunity with anyone
unless I absolutely believe init myself.
(03:22):
Unfortunately, she askedsomeone in her family who had no
idea about the opportunity, hadno ins and outs, and just gave
her an opinion basically basedon really nothing to do with
what it was all about.
(03:42):
Now, I'm sure he thought he washelping her kind of think.
He just wanted to have somecontrol and unfortunately she
missed out on a really reallybig payoff from that investment.
(04:02):
So it is really, reallyimportant that you allow
yourself the power to grantyourself permission when
something truly feels right foryou, when something feels in
alignment, it feels like thenext best step, or maybe it even
(04:28):
feels really, really scary, butyou know it's the next piece of
the puzzle to help you movetowards the goal that you are
moving towards or the vision.
So why do we do this?
Why do we not allow ourselvespermission to truly live in
(04:50):
accordance to how we want tolive and do the things we want
to do and show up in the waythat we want to show up?
Most of us are not taught howto give ourselves permission.
In fact, and this is true formany mission In fact, and this
(05:11):
is true for many, many women,but I'm absolutely sure it's
true for many men as well,depending on your family unit.
But I know for women, it'spretty much across the board
that we are taught to make sureothers are taken care of, to
make sure others' well-being isat the forefront, and,
(05:31):
especially if you are highlyintuitive, you're sensitive,
maybe you have people-pleasingtendencies.
We are often, or we have beentrained to seek permission
outside of ourselves so fromteachers, from bosses, from our
(05:53):
family and this can completelythrow off our ability to give
ourselves permission when itmight make others uncomfortable.
We're constantly thinking ofothers first, Even thinking of
(06:16):
how others may like or dislikewhat we're going to do, or be
offended or not offended thatone is huge.
Be offended or not offended,that one is huge, Like in the
last five years or so, the wholecancel culture and this insane
fear about offending people.
(06:37):
And what it's done is it'scompletely shut people down from
expressing themselves, which isnot healthy, by the way.
It is not healthy the the way.
It is not healthy the path thatwe went down, so much to the
polar on one side that nowpeople are scared to even
express themselves.
(06:57):
Now, that's not saying that weshould go around and say hurtful
things that we know isoffensive to people, but there's
gray area here.
It's not a polar on one side orthe other, so we're taught not
to give ourselves permission.
So, of course, this confidencefeels out of reach, Because
(07:21):
every time we want to dosomething, every time we want to
do something, we'reunconsciously waiting for
someone to say yes, you'reallowed, or no, you're not
(07:42):
allowed.
And it's really, reallydetrimental again to be waiting
for permission or waiting forapproval from people who have
not even done anything that youwant to do, or they're not in
the position you were in, orthey benefit from you staying
stuck.
This is a huge one.
I see this a lot in my clientswhen it's a couple, in my
(08:12):
clients when it's a couple, amarried couple Often, often, and
unfortunately, it typically isthe husband in these scenarios.
I'm not saying that that'salways the case, but in the
cases that I'm experienced, in alot of times it's the husband,
sometimes even the boyfriend.
A lot of times it's the husband, sometimes even the boyfriend,
(08:33):
who will attempt to hinder theirpartner's growth because it
benefits them.
It benefits the partner notgoing for something.
Now I'm not saying that thesepartners are being malicious,
but a lot of times we're playingout unconscious wounds.
So you have to be aware of that.
That.
These are patterns that rundeep.
(08:53):
Where are you waiting forsomeone, even unconsciously
waiting?
For someone to say, yes, you'reallowed, yes, you're allowed to
do that.
For someone to say, yes, you'reallowed, yes, you're allowed to
do that.
But in leadership and whenthings really start to change
(09:16):
and move whether you'reself-leadership or you're
leading a team or you're leadinga movement it starts when you
stop waiting.
That's when you truly step intobeing a leader, when you stop
waiting for permission orvalidation and you are okay with
(09:40):
going against the grain.
So confidence isn't a startingpoint, it's a byproduct of
self-permission.
Right, when you start to trulyembody self-permission, that is
when confidence starts toexplode, Because it doesn't even
matter if something goes quoteunquote right or quote unquote
(10:03):
wrong, the confidence growsbecause you believe in yourself
enough to move forward, to giveyourself that permission.
So when you allow yourself tospeak, even if your voice shakes
, even if it doesn't come outgreat, you're going to build
(10:31):
confidence because you gaveyourself permission to say the
thing.
Even when you move and youoverthink a bit, but you still
make the decision, give yourselfpermission to make that
decision.
You build confidence when youvalidate your own truth instead
of outsourcing it.
(10:53):
You become the version of youthat doesn't need to prove
anything, because you're justdoing your thing, You're living
your life, You're sharing what'smeaningful to you, You're
making decisions that align withyour values, that align with
your vision.
You're not stopping yourselfbecause of fear of being
(11:15):
reprimanded or fear of havingsome kind of backlash or fear of
failure or whatever the fear is.
This is when people becometruly magnetic.
You become truly magnetic whenyou fully align with your values
(11:39):
, with your vision, and you giveyourself permission to move
forward.
This is a huge part of themagnetic leadership accelerator.
It's permission to go fullsteam into the vision that is
fully aligned with your values,Because then you are aligned to
(12:01):
your purpose.
You are doing the work that youcame here to do.
You are being the leader youcame here to be.
So next time that you say I justneed more confidence, I want
you to wait.
Just give it a pause for asecond and ask yourself where do
(12:27):
I actually just need to givemyself permission?
Where do I just need to givemyself permission?
Permission to go for it.
Permission to not get itperfect do it anyways.
Permission to trust what youfeel, even when no one else gets
(12:50):
it.
This is a huge one when itcomes to coaching.
Investing in coaching is a hugeone when it comes to coaching
investing in coaching.
I've had lots of theseincidents with my clients where
they've known that coaching wasthe the perfect next step for
them, that they needed to make adecision because they had been
(13:13):
stuck for so long and they knewit was going to be the thing to
get them moving out and it was.
But when you explain to someonethat you have invested in
coaching and they don'tunderstand what coaching is,
(13:33):
they're gonna think that you arecrazy.
They're gonna think that youare crazy.
They're going to think that youare crazy, especially if it is
a bigger amount.
I remember a?
Uh, someone who used to do ourneighbor's lawn.
He'd.
Sometimes he would do our, ourtrees and stuff we would cut our
(13:53):
trees, would do our trees andstuff we would cut our trees.
And he was a very friendlyItalian man, very old school
Italian, and he was probably inhis 70s, I'm guessing, and we
used to have conversations andhe would ask me what I do and I
(14:15):
would try to explain it and hehad a hard time understanding it
and he thought it was hilarious.
He would laugh so much.
He's like I can't believepeople pay you for that.
And I wasn't offended because Iknew he didn't understand.
It's a different world fromwhat he knew and that was okay.
It didn't stop me from sharingwith it.
(14:36):
Sharing it with him Didn't makeme feel bad or second guess
what I was doing, because I hadgiven myself permission many,
many years ago to go after whatI wanted and I didn't care how
many people thought I wasbatshit crazy.
And you know what A lot ofpeople did.
Because when I was working atthe school board I had a pension
(14:59):
, I had a position that a lot ofpeople wanted and when I told
people I was leaving to start myown business to start coaching.
A lot of those people thought Iwas insane.
They just couldn't understand,they didn't get it, it didn't
(15:19):
click.
So where are you holdingyourself back?
Because of fear that people whoare not even meant to get your
path and understand your path,for fear that they may think
you're crazy or you're doingsomething foolish?
(15:43):
And a big sign of the healingthat you still need to do if you
feel foolish is because there'sa belief somewhere in you that
agrees with them.
And that's just a belief.
It's not truth.
You can change that.
(16:05):
Leaders, if this is resonatingwith you and you would like to
drop a question for a futureepisode, please do so in the
section that says send me a textmessage and I will get your
question and if it makes sense,I'm going to answer it on an
episode.
And if you are interested inbeing a part of the Magnetic
(16:28):
Leader Accelerator Beta, pleasereach out and we can have a chat
.
There is a short applicationprocess to make sure it's a good
fit.
It's not a fit, I will directyou in a different way.
Or we can also speak aboutprivate coaching.
But the beta is ending soon,which means the one-on-ones
(16:49):
included with the program aregoing away with the beta.
You can always add onone-on-ones, but why would you
do that when you can get themincluded right now?
Again, it's about givingyourself permission to go after
(17:10):
what is truly in alignment foryou.
So let's have a conversationabout leader.
I appreciate you.
Thank you so much for joiningme, If you are still listening.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
I appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
And, as always, let's stay connected, living up to
your full potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by LisaJeffs, the Magnetic.
What if it wasn't confidence that you needed, but
you simply needed to giveyourself permission.
Leaders, this is gonna be agood one, very applicable, very
important.
Keep listening, let's getstarted.
Let's get started, let's getstarted.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Tap into your inner power.
You got this.
Now go get it, living up toyour full potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by lisajeffs, the magnetic leader.
It's time to soar.
Tap into your power of anentrepreneur.
Level up, step it up, because Ibelieve your purpose Time to be
(00:43):
a magnetic leader, hey.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Welcome to the show leaders.
You are listening to theMagnetic Leader.
The sound may be a little bitdifferent in this episode as I'm
not in my usual studio, butlet's get started.
This is all about reallyunderstanding what is holding
(01:11):
you back from going all in onyour vision, on what you want,
on a relationship in yourbusiness, in your career.
A lot of times when I work withleaders, executives, founders,
creatives, entrepreneurs I hearit all the time If I just had
(01:35):
more confidence, I would do this.
If I just had more confidence,I would speak up.
I know what I want, but Isecond guess myself all the time
, and I'm sure you can fill inthe blank with a multitude of
different other things that arebeing said either by you or by
(01:56):
someone else.
When I dig in with my clientsand we dig deeper into this, it
really isn't about confidence.
It's about permission.
So permission to go after whatyou want, permission to say
(02:16):
something that might beimperfect God forbid, oh my God.
Permission to trust yourself,even if you don't see results
yet, even if the entire world istelling you you're crazy for
doing something.
By the way, this one is huge.
(02:38):
This is one of the reasons whyI often share with my clients.
Be really, really careful whoyou talk to, who you speak to
about certain things.
I remember sharing aopportunity with a friend, and
it was an investment opportunityand this was a very good friend
(03:00):
.
So this wasn't just someone Ihad just met, so this was a very
, very good friend that I sharedthis opportunity with because I
knew that she could benefitfrom it.
And I'm not going to share anykind of opportunity with anyone
unless I absolutely believe init myself.
(03:22):
Unfortunately, she askedsomeone in her family who had no
idea about the opportunity, hadno ins and outs, and just gave
her an opinion basically basedon really nothing to do with
what it was all about.
(03:42):
Now, I'm sure he thought he washelping her kind of think.
He just wanted to have somecontrol and unfortunately she
missed out on a really reallybig payoff from that investment.
(04:02):
So it is really, reallyimportant that you allow
yourself the power to grantyourself permission when
something truly feels right foryou, when something feels in
alignment, it feels like thenext best step, or maybe it even
(04:28):
feels really, really scary, butyou know it's the next piece of
the puzzle to help you movetowards the goal that you are
moving towards or the vision.
So why do we do this?
Why do we not allow ourselvespermission to truly live in
(04:50):
accordance to how we want tolive and do the things we want
to do and show up in the waythat we want to show up?
Most of us are not taught howto give ourselves permission.
In fact, and this is true formany mission In fact, and this
(05:11):
is true for many, many women,but I'm absolutely sure it's
true for many men as well,depending on your family unit.
But I know for women, it'spretty much across the board
that we are taught to make sureothers are taken care of, to
make sure others' well-being isat the forefront, and,
(05:31):
especially if you are highlyintuitive, you're sensitive,
maybe you have people-pleasingtendencies.
We are often, or we have beentrained to seek permission
outside of ourselves so fromteachers, from bosses, from our
(05:53):
family and this can completelythrow off our ability to give
ourselves permission when itmight make others uncomfortable.
We're constantly thinking ofothers first, Even thinking of
(06:16):
how others may like or dislikewhat we're going to do, or be
offended or not offended thatone is huge.
Be offended or not offended,that one is huge, Like in the
last five years or so, the wholecancel culture and this insane
fear about offending people.
(06:37):
And what it's done is it'scompletely shut people down from
expressing themselves, which isnot healthy, by the way.
It is not healthy the the way.
It is not healthy the path thatwe went down, so much to the
polar on one side that nowpeople are scared to even
express themselves.
(06:57):
Now, that's not saying that weshould go around and say hurtful
things that we know isoffensive to people, but there's
gray area here.
It's not a polar on one side orthe other, so we're taught not
to give ourselves permission.
So, of course, this confidencefeels out of reach, Because
(07:21):
every time we want to dosomething, every time we want to
do something, we'reunconsciously waiting for
someone to say yes, you'reallowed, or no, you're not
(07:42):
allowed.
And it's really, reallydetrimental again to be waiting
for permission or waiting forapproval from people who have
not even done anything that youwant to do, or they're not in
the position you were in, orthey benefit from you staying
stuck.
This is a huge one.
I see this a lot in my clientswhen it's a couple, in my
(08:12):
clients when it's a couple, amarried couple Often, often, and
unfortunately, it typically isthe husband in these scenarios.
I'm not saying that that'salways the case, but in the
cases that I'm experienced, in alot of times it's the husband,
sometimes even the boyfriend.
A lot of times it's the husband, sometimes even the boyfriend,
(08:33):
who will attempt to hinder theirpartner's growth because it
benefits them.
It benefits the partner notgoing for something.
Now I'm not saying that thesepartners are being malicious,
but a lot of times we're playingout unconscious wounds.
So you have to be aware of that.
That.
These are patterns that rundeep.
(08:53):
Where are you waiting forsomeone, even unconsciously
waiting?
For someone to say, yes, you'reallowed, yes, you're allowed to
do that.
For someone to say, yes, you'reallowed, yes, you're allowed to
do that.
But in leadership and whenthings really start to change
(09:16):
and move whether you'reself-leadership or you're
leading a team or you're leadinga movement it starts when you
stop waiting.
That's when you truly step intobeing a leader, when you stop
waiting for permission orvalidation and you are okay with
(09:40):
going against the grain.
So confidence isn't a startingpoint, it's a byproduct of
self-permission.
Right, when you start to trulyembody self-permission, that is
when confidence starts toexplode, Because it doesn't even
matter if something goes quoteunquote right or quote unquote
(10:03):
wrong, the confidence growsbecause you believe in yourself
enough to move forward, to giveyourself that permission.
So when you allow yourself tospeak, even if your voice shakes
, even if it doesn't come outgreat, you're going to build
(10:31):
confidence because you gaveyourself permission to say the
thing.
Even when you move and youoverthink a bit, but you still
make the decision, give yourselfpermission to make that
decision.
You build confidence when youvalidate your own truth instead
of outsourcing it.
(10:53):
You become the version of youthat doesn't need to prove
anything, because you're justdoing your thing, You're living
your life, You're sharing what'smeaningful to you, You're
making decisions that align withyour values, that align with
your vision.
You're not stopping yourselfbecause of fear of being
(11:15):
reprimanded or fear of havingsome kind of backlash or fear of
failure or whatever the fear is.
This is when people becometruly magnetic.
You become truly magnetic whenyou fully align with your values
(11:39):
, with your vision, and you giveyourself permission to move
forward.
This is a huge part of themagnetic leadership accelerator.
It's permission to go fullsteam into the vision that is
fully aligned with your values,Because then you are aligned to
(12:01):
your purpose.
You are doing the work that youcame here to do.
You are being the leader youcame here to be.
So next time that you say I justneed more confidence, I want
you to wait.
Just give it a pause for asecond and ask yourself where do
(12:27):
I actually just need to givemyself permission?
Where do I just need to givemyself permission?
Permission to go for it.
Permission to not get itperfect do it anyways.
Permission to trust what youfeel, even when no one else gets
(12:50):
it.
This is a huge one when itcomes to coaching.
Investing in coaching is a hugeone when it comes to coaching
investing in coaching.
I've had lots of theseincidents with my clients where
they've known that coaching wasthe the perfect next step for
them, that they needed to make adecision because they had been
(13:13):
stuck for so long and they knewit was going to be the thing to
get them moving out and it was.
But when you explain to someonethat you have invested in
coaching and they don'tunderstand what coaching is,
(13:33):
they're gonna think that you arecrazy.
They're gonna think that youare crazy.
They're going to think that youare crazy, especially if it is
a bigger amount.
I remember a?
Uh, someone who used to do ourneighbor's lawn.
He'd.
Sometimes he would do our, ourtrees and stuff we would cut our
(13:53):
trees, would do our trees andstuff we would cut our trees.
And he was a very friendlyItalian man, very old school
Italian, and he was probably inhis 70s, I'm guessing, and we
used to have conversations andhe would ask me what I do and I
(14:15):
would try to explain it and hehad a hard time understanding it
and he thought it was hilarious.
He would laugh so much.
He's like I can't believepeople pay you for that.
And I wasn't offended because Iknew he didn't understand.
It's a different world fromwhat he knew and that was okay.
It didn't stop me from sharingwith it.
(14:36):
Sharing it with him Didn't makeme feel bad or second guess
what I was doing, because I hadgiven myself permission many,
many years ago to go after whatI wanted and I didn't care how
many people thought I wasbatshit crazy.
And you know what A lot ofpeople did.
Because when I was working atthe school board I had a pension
(14:59):
, I had a position that a lot ofpeople wanted and when I told
people I was leaving to start myown business to start coaching.
A lot of those people thought Iwas insane.
They just couldn't understand,they didn't get it, it didn't
(15:19):
click.
So where are you holdingyourself back?
Because of fear that people whoare not even meant to get your
path and understand your path,for fear that they may think
you're crazy or you're doingsomething foolish?
(15:43):
And a big sign of the healingthat you still need to do if you
feel foolish is because there'sa belief somewhere in you that
agrees with them.
And that's just a belief.
It's not truth.
You can change that.
(16:05):
Leaders, if this is resonatingwith you and you would like to
drop a question for a futureepisode, please do so in the
section that says send me a textmessage and I will get your
question and if it makes sense,I'm going to answer it on an
episode.
And if you are interested inbeing a part of the Magnetic
(16:28):
Leader Accelerator Beta, pleasereach out and we can have a chat
.
There is a short applicationprocess to make sure it's a good
fit.
It's not a fit, I will directyou in a different way.
Or we can also speak aboutprivate coaching.
But the beta is ending soon,which means the one-on-ones
(16:49):
included with the program aregoing away with the beta.
You can always add onone-on-ones, but why would you
do that when you can get themincluded right now?
Again, it's about givingyourself permission to go after
(17:10):
what is truly in alignment foryou.
So let's have a conversationabout leader.
I appreciate you.
Thank you so much for joiningme, If you are still listening.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
I appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
And, as always, let's stay connected, living up to
your full potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by LisaJeffs, the Magnetic.
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