The Art of Telling Your Inner Critic to Shut Up (Nicely)

Send a text with a question you want answered on a podcast episode!!

Have you ever noticed that the moment you're about to take a big leap—whether launching something new, making an important investment, or stepping onto a stage—your inner critic suddenly becomes deafeningly loud? That voice questioning your abilities, bringing up every possible worst-case scenario, and making you wonder if you should retreat to safety instead.

This critical inner dialogue is particularly potent for ambitious, driven individuals. The bigger your goals, the louder this protective mechanism becomes. What's fascinating is that this voice isn't actually trying to sabotage you—it's attempting to keep you safe within what I call your "safety line," that comfortable zone where you've been operating.

Breaking beyond this safety line requires completely different thinking and a transformed self-image. But here's the key insight that changed everything for me: when that inner critic roars to life, it's not revealing truth—it's simply doing its job. During a seminar where I could feel the room's energy wasn't connecting with my material, my inner critic unleashed a torrent of judgment. I had a choice: get entangled in that narrative or step back with curiosity and compassion.

Through my work with top leaders and creatives over nearly twelve years, I've discovered that self-compassion is the antidote to the inner critic. The more judgment we direct at ourselves, the louder that critical voice becomes. Conversely, when we witness it without judgment and reconnect with our authentic power state, we reclaim our ability to create rather than simply react.

Remember that intuition and fear are different languages—intuition doesn't typically present as fear but as clear guidance. This is why having a supportive community or coach is invaluable when pursuing ambitious goals; they help you navigate these inner dialogues and distinguish between protective fear and intuitive nudges.

Want to learn more about mastering your inner critic and stepping into your authentic leadership power? Apply for the Magnetic Leadership Accelerator through the link in the description. Together, we can ensure that voice no longer calls the shots in your life and leadership.

Support the show

Thanks for Listening! We appreciate you. Sending you love and gratitude.

FOLLOW

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisajeffs/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lisa_jeffs/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/lisajeffscoach/

BOOK YOUR BREAKTHROUGH CALL: https://lisajeffs.youcanbook.me/

FREE GIFT: https://www.purposeacademypro.com/f/meet-your-inner-saboteur-guided-visualization

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Music an entrepreneur .
Level up.
Step it up because I believe,find your purpose.
Time to be a magnetic leader.
Welcome to the show leaders.
Picture this You're right at amoment.
You're about to launch thething or you're about to take

(00:44):
action on what you've beendreaming about, thinking about.
You're about to do your firsttalk or you're about to make a
really big investment that youknow is going to support you and
your vision and all of a sudden, this voice comes in and starts

(01:04):
chirping every doubt under thesun, all the fears and what ifs,
starts telling you who do youthink you are to do something
like this?
This is going to go really bad.
This was a conversation we justhad in the Magnetic Leader
Accelerator.

(01:24):
Some of the members are rightat that really important step of
launching.
Creating is always excitingwhen we are in that creative
part, when we are in thevisioning part, it can get
really exciting.
We're leaning intopossibilities, we're leaning

(01:50):
into the expansion, but then, assoon as it's time to take the
action or to do the thing,everything starts to shift and
this voice within comes andstarts to yammer.
And if we allow this voice tocome in and call the shots a lot

(02:16):
of times we won't do the thing,and I have seen this many times
in the almost 12 years I'vebeen working with professionals,
top leaders, creatives, andthese are very driven, ambitious
people.
So in this episode, we're goingto talk about some ways for you

(02:38):
to understand the inner critic.
See it for what it is, but notallow it to call the shots,
because if we are alwayslistening to a voice that is
trying to protect us, we cannotexpect.
Imagine having a parent that wasso scared of everything for you

(03:00):
, of everything for you, and itwas constantly talking over your
shoulder about oh you better beworried about this.
I don't think you can do that.
Oh, you better be thinkingsmaller.
Let's look over here, maybestart small here.
And it was trying to protectyou, but what it was really

(03:23):
doing was suffocating.
And imagine this parent in your30s, in your 40s, in your 50s,
in your 60s, and they're stillspeaking over you.
This is what happens so often toindividuals that are very

(03:44):
ambitious and they have thesebig goals and they have these
big dreams, but they don'trealize that with that comes an
even louder inner critic,because, again, it's job is to
keep you safe.
What I always talk about in mywork is a safety line.

(04:07):
Right, we have a safety line,so our safety line is over here.
You may jump up a little bit oryou may go down a little bit,
but you're just hovering in thesame area.
And to break beyond this weneed to be thinking different
thoughts, having differentbeliefs about ourselves, about

(04:28):
the world, having a differentself-image, seeing ourselves
within the world as a completelydifferent identity.
So if you aren't aware thatyour inner critic is going to
get louder right before it'stime to make a big jump, you may

(04:54):
listen to the inner critic andlisten to the fears as true.
This happens often when I speakto people who are interested in
coaching.
Coaching is an investment.
It's an investment in your time, it's an investment in money,
it's an investment in effort andenergy, and a lot of people get

(05:18):
excited in the first part, butthen, when it comes to making
that commitment in the firstpart, but then, when it comes to
making that commitment, I don'tknow.
They contract and they listento the voice as truth.
What if this happens?
What if that happens?

(05:43):
What if this happens?
It's not true.
You are creating the truth here.
It's only true if you give ityour focus.
Now I'm not saying don't listento the voice of critical
assessment.
Sure, you don't need to justwilly-nilly fly by the seat of
your pants.
You can absolutely havediscernment.

(06:03):
In fact you should be thinkingcritically about certain things,
making intentional decisions.
But that's very different thanthe voice of the inner critic
that is trying to protect youand keep you small.
So there was a time where Iheard my inner critic come on,

(06:27):
write Gangbusters, and I havethe tools to work with the inner
critic and to understand thatwhen that voice comes on very
strong, to really step back andsee it for what it is a voice,
it's not the authentic powerthat I am.

(06:50):
We are so much more powerfulthan we often admit in our
day-to-day lives.
We are wildly powerful beingsand the inner critic only has

(07:15):
its power from what we give it,from our focus, from our
attention, from listening to it.
So in this moment when I heardmy inner critic come on and it
was fierce, it just wanted torip me a new.
One was in a seminar I wasteaching and the seminar wasn't
the best fit, meaning what I wasteaching wasn't the best fit

(07:37):
for the people there.
Nothing wrong with the peoplethat were there, nothing wrong
with what I was teaching wasn'tthe best fit for the people
there.
Nothing wrong with the peoplethat were there, nothing wrong
with what I was teaching.
It was simply the fit thatwasn't the greatest.
And my inner critic came onvery strong and I had already
been doing this work for a longtime this wasn't at the
beginning of my career but itcame on because I could feel the

(08:00):
energy in the room that itwasn't resonating.
When it's resonating, there'sthis very smooth, expansive
energy.
This was more of a Tinshackenergy If you've ever walked
into a room and you can feel atension, an awkwardness.
That's what it was.
And my inner critic hooked onto that and started to say very

(08:26):
nasty things to me.
And I had a choice in thatmoment Indulge in that story and
allow my energy to dip, whichit did for a bit, or step away
and get curious and say, ooh,why is my inner critic coming on

(08:50):
so strong?
What is going on?
And see it with a curiousglance, as opposed to getting
entangled with it and allowingit to convince you that is you?
It's just a protectivemechanism, it's a pattern.

(09:10):
It's a part within us that willget triggered at certain points
.
Some people's inner critic is alot louder than others, but we
always want to take a curiouslens, say what's going on here,

(09:30):
but then allowing it to float onby.
And it's not the truth of who Iam.
We always have a choice to leaninto that or our authentic
power state this is what we talkabout in the Magnetic
Leadership Accelerator is ourauthentic power state.
So this is when we areexpansive, this is when we are

(09:54):
leaning into our vision,trusting and having faith that
what we want to create, we havethe power to create.
We are creators.
We are not just floating aroundreacting to the world.
Unless that's a decision orchoice that you want to make,

(10:15):
that works for you.
It doesn't really work for theclients that I work with.
We want to be creating, we wantto be aligned to our values and
creating from that place.
So witness that in a criticwithout judgment.
Release the judgment.
Have a curious lens, but don'tdig into it to the point where,

(10:39):
again, we are entangled with it.
For me, it was simply some workafter that talk, a little bit of
journaling, a little bit ofinquiring and then coming back
to my authentic power state withSeth, which was he did a great
job, which was, you know, thegreat job.
Sure, it wasn't the greatestconnection, but that's all it

(11:03):
was.
Wasn't a bad talk, wasn't a badcrowd.
And next time we'll do our workto make sure that the
connection works, that it makessense.
We always want to bring inself-compassion.
I know it can sound a littlebit like, eh, lisa,

(11:24):
self-compassion I'm going tohave compassion for myself, but
it is extremely important tobring in as much love as you
give to other people which Iknow you do, because that's who
I attract into my communities,into my client base, very
compassionate human beings.
As much compassion and love asyou give other people, I need

(11:47):
you to give it to yourself,because the more we pour that
into ourself and again, I knowit can sound a little corny, but
the more we pour that self-loveinto ourselves and that
self-compassion, the innercritic is going to start tuning
down.
At least it substantially didthat for me.

(12:09):
The more judgmental I was ofmyself, the more it feeds the
fire and the louder it gets.
So I'm going to keep thisepisode short.
I want you to remember that Ina critic, when you are about to
do something, when you're aboutto take a step forward, when you

(12:32):
are about to launch or when youare about to make a new
decision, it's often going toget louder.
This is its job.
It's just doing its job.
It is not the truth of thesituation.
So discernment is reallyimportant.
So discernment is reallyimportant.

(13:00):
Is the fear just a fear, a worry, a doubt, or are you getting an
intuitive nudge that it mightnot be the best decision?
By the way, intuition does notcome through as fear.
When I was younger, I wouldwalk in the night a lot of times
and I would get an intuitivenudge don't go in, don't walk
through the park.
But it wasn't a fear, it was anintuitive nudge.

(13:24):
So intuition is not going tocome through as fear.
I know it can be.
Sometimes it is very subtle.
Intuition is not fear, though.
So if you're having a fear,that is not your intuition.
That is simply fear.
This is also why having acommunity, having a coach,

(13:47):
having people around you,extremely important when you
have big goals, when you aremoving towards something big, to
help you navigate the voicewithin.
It's.
One of the comments from theMagnetic Leadership members is
how much they appreciate ourcalls, because it helps them to

(14:11):
ground and center back in, Helpsto bring it all back in focus.
This is critical.
If you would like to apply forthe Magnetic Leadership
Accelerator, please head on overto the description.
You can apply.
We can have a conversation tosee if it's the right fit.
Or if you'd like to speak to meabout private coaching, that is

(14:32):
also an option.
Leader, I love you, Iappreciate you.
Remember, the inner critic isnot you.
You are so much more powerfulthan I think you even know at
this point.
I love you, I appreciate youand, as always, let's stay

(14:54):
connected.