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March 23, 2025 29 mins

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We explore the hidden ways many successful people sabotage their own growth by unconsciously playing it safe and keeping themselves small through fear-based patterns operating below the surface.

• The trap of complacency procrastination - staying "busy" but avoiding the bold moves that create real progress
• Why staying busy doesn't equal making meaningful progress toward your dreams
• How we downplay our true desires to fit in, avoid judgment, or protect others' feelings 
• The fallacy of "realistic" goals and how they limit your expansion
• Why waiting for permission, certainty or external validation keeps you stuck
• How surrounding yourself with the right mentors and community catalyzes transformation
• The accelerating pace of manifestation in the current energetic landscape

Ready to break free from these patterns? Reach out about private coaching or the Magnetic Leader Accelerator program, which includes three deep-dive sessions during its beta period. Text me with specific questions that I can answer in future episodes.


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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
you're successful, you've achieved a lot, but what
if I told you you might still beplaying it safe without even
realizing it and hindering yourexpansion forward?
We're going to get into areally interesting episode in a

(00:22):
second, talking about thosesneaky sabotaging patterns that
can operate below the surface.
If you're serious about making2025 your best year yet, stick
around Tap into your inner power.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
You got this.
Now go get it, living up toyour full potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams Believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you looking for,
brought to you by Lisa Jeffs,the magnetic leader.
It's time to soar, tap intoyour power of an entrepreneur.
Level up.
Step it up Because, I believe,find your purpose.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
Time.
Welcome to the Magnetic LeaderPodcast.
Hello, leaders, I am your host,lisa Jeffs.
I am your coach, your intuitiveguide and the person that's
going to help you to ditch theoverthinking.
Your intuitive guide and theperson that's going to help you
to ditch the overthinking.
Trust yourself fully, alignwith your purpose, align with
your life's greatest vision,lead with unshakable confidence
and make this year the best oneyet.
All right, leaders, we're goingto get into helping you to

(01:43):
realize how you may be playingit safe, hindering your own
growth, not from anything thatyou are doing wrong, but rather
human patterns of keeping yousafe, keeping you small and

(02:06):
operating from a fear programinstead of your authentic power
state.
And this one is near and dear tomy heart because, if you know
me and you know a little bitabout my story, self-sabotage
has been one of the shadowaspects of my life that I've

(02:29):
been blessed and I say that witha little bit of a humor because
it's not that fun but beenblessed to go through myself and
really dissect and understand.
But because of my journey andunderstand, but because of my

(02:50):
journey overcoming reallydebilitating sabotaging patterns
, it's given me the depth andunderstanding to then help my
clients do the same, and I haveto say that I do it at a level
that is well beyond anythingelse that I've seen out there,
well beyond anything else thatI've seen out there, reason
being because I've been to thedepths myself and I understand

(03:10):
exactly why it happens and whatwe need to do to get out of it.
Now, we're not going to betalking about real deep and
debilitating sabotaging patternsin this episode, but we're
going to be talking about theways that a lot of us keep
ourselves playing a little bitsafe, a little bit small, and

(03:34):
it's those things that aresometimes the most insidious,
because they're hard to spot andthey kind of have us living a
little bit of a complacency life.
If you've ever heard ofcomplacency procrastination,
this is not where we are just,you know, sitting on the couch

(03:56):
and eating bonbons.
By the way, that's a referencefrom an 80s show, and if you
know it, drop me a message.
I would love to know if you arein the same age bracket as I am
.
But we're not just sitting andeating bonbons and ignoring
everything around us and it'sall burning to the ground

(04:16):
because we're not taking action.
We're procrastinating oneverything.
Complacency procrastination ismore of where you're just kind
of going through the day-to-day.
You're not very happy, you'renot super excited, you might not
be super bummed or anything but, you're just kind of like you
know, it's all right, it's okay,it's good enough, right, good

(04:40):
enough is a trap.
It'll have you doing stuff thatisn't lighting your soul on
fire, but you keep doing it.
Because why it's good enough?
It's not what you really want,what your soul is here for, what
your purpose is tied to, butyou're not in a crisis, it's

(05:04):
nothing horrible and people canstay and tolerate that type of
life for a very, very long time.
And you know what?
That is one of the greatestshams.
It's one of the greatest shamspeople get trapped into.

(05:24):
It's that old story of you knowit's a good job and you get a
pension and you know at somepoint you're going to be able to
retire and maybe you can evengo on some vacations and enjoy
your life when you're, you know,70 years old.

(05:46):
All of this narrative that'sbeen around for about how many
years?
I'm not sure, maybe 70, 80years, as soon as that old story
of the pension keeping up withthe Joneses doing a good day's

(06:11):
work, being grateful for that,coming home and just kind of
plugging along.
This is a lot of the story of alot of our parents or our
grandparents, depending on howold you are.
I was lucky to grow up in ahousehold where my father was

(06:31):
truly doing the work he waspassionate about.
He owned his own constructioncompany.
He did commercial construction.
So sometimes when I'm drivingwith my mom she'll point out
these incredible buildings thatmy father has built.
He's no longer with us, but hislegacy stands up and my mother

(06:56):
did the work that she loved todo.
So I didn't grow up in ahousehold where we learned to
truly just kind of suck it upand be grateful what you get.
But I also remember getting alot of messages of kind of

(07:23):
figuring out what you want to do, but it wasn't truly a message
of go big, like truly dive intoyour heart and understand what
your values are.
Understand, connect to thatpurpose, understand that if you
have certain dreams, thatthey're not random, that they're

(07:46):
not you just daydreaming, thatthey're there for a purpose,
they're there because it'spossible, right?
I didn't really have that firethat was lit under under me and
when I ended up graduating highschool and that was the year my
father passed away I just wentinto that downward spiral and I

(08:09):
won't get too much into thatstory.
You can find my story indifferent podcasts.
But that's when I not only wentsmall and complacent,
procrastination, but that's whenI went into a deep hole and
started working in the adultentertainment industry back in
the 90s, far different than itis now, and it wasn't a place

(08:34):
where we were looking at ourvalues and looking at our
purpose and really digging intowhat do we want.
So I want you to understand inthis episode that if you have
dreams, if you have a purpose,if you have any kind of desire
that you're not living right now, that's for a reason.
It is not random, it is quiteavailable for you and you simply

(08:58):
need to align yourselfenergetically to that reality,
to that identity.
And no, this isn't just likeflu-flu, woobly-woobly, mystical
talk.
This is how transformationhappens.
We must align our thoughts, ourbehaviors, our intention and

(09:23):
our expectation with what we arewanting.
And if we're not, chances arewe are operating from a program
that is keeping us playing thesmall game, the safe game.
So here's some traps that wecan fall into.
Just because you're doing a lotdoes not mean you're making real

(09:47):
progress.
How many times have you thoughtto yourself wow, I'm tired.
What the heck have I been doingall day, all week, all month?
And it doesn't even seem likeI'm making real progress.

(10:11):
Maybe you're checking off tasks, you're staying busy and you
feel accomplished, but deep downyou know that you're avoiding
the big needle movers that willactually shift everything.
I am very aware when I get intoproductive mode because it

(10:38):
feels safe.
But the high level success orresults that I want, they don't
come from checking boxes, theycome from making those bold,
courageous, strategic moves.
This is exactly why in theMagnetic Leader Accelerator, the

(11:01):
group program that's in itsbeta run, that I run right now,
we do something called the PowerHour, and the Power Hour is
where we get very clear what arethose needle mover actions,
what actually needs to happen tomake changes, and we commit to

(11:21):
doing it within that hour ormaking the plans to do it if we
can't doing it within that hour,or making the plans to do it if
we can't do it, if somethingneeds to happen in person, and
we take those actions and wemove forward.
One of the members of theMagnetic Leader Accelerated the
other day made a very importantcold call, cold sales call, and

(11:45):
he felt fantastic after he didit.
It feels really, really gooddoing the needle movers.
It can be scary, like rightbefore you do it, but once you
do it, there is this moment ofjust such relief.
One of the hardest things isstaying in resistance.

(12:07):
It's staying in fear.
It's honestly like you're justkind of chilling out in a bucket
of quicksand.
You're just kind of stayingthere.
It's heavy, it does not feelgood, even if there's a part of
you that feels so.
Where are you staying?

(12:28):
Really, really busy doing awhole bunch of stuff?
I see this all the time.
This happens with all differententrepreneurs, business leaders
, creatives at all differentlevels new ones, emerging ones,
seasoned ones, very successfulones, very successful ones.

(12:48):
It can happen at any stage andit's a way of keeping us at that
safety line.
The safety line is the linewhere we feel safe at.
We hover around our own safetyline and the good thing about

(13:16):
the safety line is we don't tendto dip too further down, right.
We kind of stay at a level, butwe also don't.
It's hard to move beyond that.
That's why most people don'tgrow beyond where they're at.
They kind of stay.
And if you really startedexamining families, family
structures, you'll see thatthey're all kind of hovering
around that same income bracket.
They're hovering around thesame health bracket right.

(13:38):
How many families have you goneinto?
And they're, all you know,either extremely healthy or
they're kind of at that middlerange, or they're kind of at
that middle range, or they maybe not so healthy whatsoever,
and everyone's kind of in thatsame frequency.
It's because we operate, welearn these patterns, we operate

(14:05):
within these systems.
You can even look at right, alot of people on the same street
.
You're going to find them.
Similar jobs, similar status.
So you got to be aware ofpatterns that will keep you in

(14:26):
these loops.
Okay, and not to.
This is the second one we wantto get into.
Don't downplay what you reallywant.
This is another way that peoplehold themselves back in these
structures, in these familysystems, in these neighborhood
systems, in friendship circles,downplaying what they truly want

(14:48):
because they don't want otherpeople to either feel bad
because they're not going afterwhat they want.
They don't want to be outcasted, they don't want to be the odd
man out.
A lot of these programs aresubconscious.
The person is not aware thatthey're happening.
They are operating below thesurface.
So you downgrade what you want.

(15:11):
I've also seen people downgradewhat they want because they
don't want to be looked at ascrazy.
They don't want to deal withtheir parents or their friends
or whoever telling them thatthey are nuts.
Come back down to reality.
Come back down to reality.
What do you think?
You're a superstar or something?

(15:32):
All these words that can, theseinsidious, limiting beliefs
people can speak over you, put aspell over you, have you

(15:54):
doubting what is possible.
It's really, really importantthat you surround yourself with
the type of people who inspireyou, who want you to go after
what you truly desire.
I can't tell you how much Iappreciate my mentors in my life
, that I've invested in, that.
I've paid them incredible money, but they've given me back so
much more.
You know, a lot of people arescared to invest in themselves,

(16:18):
invest money in good men.
I would not be anywhere where Iam right now without the people
that have supported me, havemirrored back my power and my
abilities, that have spokenwords over me, that have just
filled me with so much belief inmyself and confidence and

(16:40):
helped me to release all thegarbage and small thinking and
limiting beliefs that I pickedup along the way as a child, as
an adolescent.
Always trust your intuition onthis one.
Trust the feeling, go with yourheart, go with your gut, even
if it is a stretch financiallyand it should be a stretch,

(17:00):
because if it's not a stretch,you're not going to stretch, if
it's easy peasy, you're notgoing to go the distance.
So, anyways, I digress, I kindof went off on a tangent there.
Back to don't downplay what youreally want.
One of the things we do in theMagnetic Leader Accelerator is

(17:21):
we create a vision that is soemotionally resonant with you
and what you want, what isaligned to your values, what is
true to you and your path, notJoe Blow down the street or your
parents path, or this person'spath, or what your friends are
doing or your co-workers.
What you want.

(17:43):
Because if it is not aligned toyou, if it is not aligned to
your values and what you trulydesire, there is no way.
Shape form, if you're going tocontinue it, it will not be
sustainable.
It has to be connected tosomething deep within you If you
want to go big and bold and dosomething that is really

(18:06):
meaningful and important withyour life.
You know there's a story onLinkedIn where a lot of people
are.
You know there's a messagethat's like you know real
successes is doing this andbeing.
You know picking my kids upfrom school and all this stuff
and I agree like family to me isa top value and I was really

(18:27):
blessed to be able to pick up mydaughter and be with my
daughter a lot of after schooland some of the times I would be
driving home from when I workedat the school board and I would
pick her up from daycare, andthose are the meaningful things
no doubt about.
I also want to push myself in aexcited, not in a driven I have

(18:54):
to do this or it's tied to myworthiness, but really push
myself and see what are all thepossibilities that I can create
in this life in a very fun andexpansive way.
I want to help a lot of people.
I want to have a lot of fun.
I want to do a lot of things.
I want to make a lot of money.

(19:16):
I also want to give back a lotof money.
I want to do lots and lots ofstuff, and there's nothing wrong
with that.
It's about what you desire.
I believe that we are creators.
We are creators in this life.
We are here to expand.
We are here to expandconsciousness.

(19:37):
We don't inspire anyone byplaying it safe or being okay
with just mediocre if that's notwhat we truly want.
Mediocre if that's not what wetruly want.
If you just want that, that'sfine.
It has to be true to you.
That's the bottom line I'mgetting at here is you got to be

(20:00):
honest with yourself and if youwant big impact, you want
financial freedom, you want thatnext level life, you have to
own it and you have to say itout loud and you can't shrink
down, especially not to yourself.
Stop telling yourself thingslike you just want to be

(20:21):
comfortable or you don't needthat much.
I don't need that much.
You know there's a lot ofpeople that don't have less than
me.
I don't need that much.
Well, how know there's a lot ofpeople that have less than me,
I don't need that much.
Well, how are you going to helpthe people that have less than
you when you don't have thatmuch?
That's not going to work verywell.
One of my mentors she was areally powerful woman.

(20:41):
She was an older woman.
I really respected her.
She made a ton of money and shejust gave back so much as well.
And one thing that stuck in myhead when she was talking to us
we were in a little group andshe said.
You know you just got to getover yourself.
Get over yourself, get overmaking money, get over it.

(21:02):
If you're here for a purpose,you're mission driven,
you're-centered, you live inintegrity, you're here for the
people, you need to make a lotof money.
You cannot hold yourself back,period.
And there's a lot ofmission-driven, purpose-driven

(21:24):
people that I talk to and theystill got a lot of limiting
money beliefs.
Your reality will match yourlimitations If you do not
believe you are worthy,deserving or it's even possible
to get to a certain point.
That's your first step.
That's what you got to work on.
I want you to say your biggest.

(21:47):
I want you to say your biggest,boldest desires out loud.
Stop filtering them to soundmore reasonable or realistic.
I hate that word realistic.
What is realistic?
Listen when we start reallyboiling down and getting real
with this universe, with thisworld.
What is realistic?

(22:09):
Someone's realistic is verydifferent from someone else.
Everything is subjective,Literally.
We got to get over this word.
You know who says things likeoh, you got to think a little
bit more realistically.
People that are drowning intheir own limitations.
No one happy, living afantastic life has the pillars

(22:36):
of health, wealth, happiness,love, romance, whatever.
I said more than four pillars.
There's lots of pillars aretelling you to be more realistic
.
It's a sham.
It's an illusion.
Stick it's a sham.
It's an illusion.
It's a safety net.
It's a box.

(22:56):
You have to own your visionfully.
No more.
If it happens, it happens,decide it's yours, declare it,
commit.
That's it.
Stop downplaying what youreally want.
And the last one you may beplaying it safe.
You may be playing small Ifyou're waiting for permission,

(23:19):
even if you think you're not,even if you think you're not,
even if you're a badass thatsays I don't wait for permission
, I do what I want.
But if you're subconsciouslywaiting for a signal, you're

(23:39):
subconsciously waiting for asignal, validation or an
external sign before you'remaking you know your next big
move, then you are waiting forpermission, right?
You think you need more clarity.
You need more confirmation.
You need more certainty.
You need more proof that itwill work, certainty, you need

(24:02):
more proof that it will work.
That is fear disguised as logic.
You, at your highest self, donot wait for permission, right,
you need to create your ownpermission, create your own
certainty.
It all comes from inside andmirrors externally.
It starts from your inside andyou will see it externally.
You have to be certain first.

(24:22):
You can't keep waiting forexternal certainty.
It's not going to come andyou're going to be waiting and
waiting, and waiting, andwaiting, and waiting, and
waiting, and waiting and waiting, and then you're going to be 90
years old and you're going tobe sitting on your porch and
thinking what the F did I justdo with my life?
That, by the way, is one of mybiggest fears.

(24:43):
That drives me forward.
It's thinking into the futureas my 90-year-old self on my
porch, rocking in the rockingchair, but still super fit and
healthy, but thinking back on mylife and thinking, well, what
did I do?

(25:06):
I am driven by that fear ofregret.
I don't want to live in fear ofregret that motivates me so
much.
Fear of regret that motivatesme so much because it can happen
.
Right Time goes by, people canregret.

(25:27):
Now I do believe at a moreconscious level that we don't
need to fear that life isinfinite.
We have many lifetimes.
We're not really wasting ourtime.
We learn from everything.
But, on the flip side, us inthis body, this is not going to
go on forever and it truly isabout being present, not getting

(25:50):
lost in stories, not gettinglost in fears and owning the
journey that you're here forLightening up, having fun,
giving yourself permission,releasing the limitations,
finding people that can inspireyou, that you're motivated by.

(26:12):
You know I get a lot of calls.
I get a lot of people thatreach out for private coaching.
They love private coaching,they love working with me
one-on-one and I love myone-on-one clients.
I have one-on-one clients fromeven when I started 11 years ago
that still reach out and tellme how amazing their experience
was and fill me in on whatthey're doing.

(26:34):
In fact, I have tons of clientsthat I still connect with and
it's such an amazing, deep, deepexperience working with these
clients one-on-one.
The benefit of being in a group, however, is you get that

(26:54):
support from even more people inthe group.
So I think you shouldexperience both one-on-one and
group and, funny enough, thegroup program, the Magnetic
Leader Accelerator, includesthree deep dive sessions, but it
won't be there forever becauseas soon as the program goes out

(27:17):
of the beta run and launches inits final, there will be no
one-on-one sessions included.
If this resonates with you andyou'd like to speak to me about
private coaching or the program,please reach out.
Let's have a conversation.
Let's get you moving andgrooving.
There is no time like thepresent to release these little

(27:43):
below the surface, subconsciousways we keep ourselves from what
we truly want and desire, and Ican't tell you how exciting it
is to see these people in theprogram or in my one-on-one
programs, aligning their vision.
This year is like no other year.

(28:04):
The energy is moving fasterthan ever.
People are having results somuch quicker, like lightning
speed, quicker than it was fouror five years ago and even
faster than last year.
And I thought last year wasfast.
Don't wait on the sidelines,let's go, let's get it.
And if you're not ready forthat and you'd like to send me a

(28:27):
text message and let me know avery specific question that you
have, please do.
You can find that in thepodcast website and I can answer
your question on a podcast ifit makes sense for the other
listeners.
I love you leaders.
I appreciate you If you'restill listening.
You're awesome.
I've had a lot of new listenerson the podcast and I'm really

(28:51):
excited to be creating morecontent for you.
Drop me a line.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
Give me a rating if you enjoyed it and, as always,
let's stay connected.
Bye.
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