The Secret to Being Taken Seriously (Without Trying So Hard)

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Have you ever wondered why some people naturally command respect while others struggle to be taken seriously? The secret lies not in demanding respect from others, but in how deeply you respect yourself.

Respect isn't something we can force others to give us—it's a reflection of our internal relationship with ourselves. When we don't feel our time, ideas, or very existence is being honored, the first place to look isn't outward at others' behavior, but inward at our own patterns and beliefs.

This episode dives deep into the transformative power of self-respect and boundary-setting. I guide you through a powerful self-inquiry process, starting with the fundamental question: "Do you truly feel deserving of respect?" For many high-achieving, heart-centered leaders, the intellectual answer is "of course," but the emotional truth may reveal healing work that needs attention.

We explore how our patterns of overextending ourselves, saying yes when we want to say no, and neglecting our own needs train others in how to treat us. The respect we seek begins with honoring our own boundaries, valuing our own time, nourishing our bodies, and expressing our authentic thoughts. When we embody self-respect in these tangible ways, the world naturally reflects that respect back to us.

This conversation is especially relevant for empathic, highly sensitive professionals who excel at pouring into others while struggling to direct that same care inward. If you're ready to transform how others treat you by first transforming how you treat yourself, this episode offers practical insights to begin that journey today. Remember, everything external is a mirror—change begins within.

Want personalized support in becoming the magnetic leader you're meant to be? Apply for the Magnetic Leader Accelerator program through the link in the description to see if you qualify for this transformative experience.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
uh.
Tap into your inner power.
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(00:21):
Level up.
Step it up because Find yourpurpose.
Time to be a magnetic leader.
Welcome to the show leaders.
Today we're going to talk abouthow you can gain more respect in
your life.
This is for the leaders, theentrepreneurs, the business

(00:45):
owners, the professionals or theartists that feel like, hmm,
you know what?
I don't feel like I'm reallybeing respected.
I'm starting to notice that theworld is reflecting back to me
experiences where I don't feelthat my time is respected, I

(01:06):
don't feel that my ideas arerespected, I don't feel that my
in some cases, my existence isrespected.
Maybe this is happening at work, maybe this is happening at
home.
So the first thing we have todo and the first thing I always
do when a client comes to me andthey say Lisa, you know, these

(01:28):
are some changes that I want toexperience is we first start
looking at well, what's going oninside of us, what's going on
in here, because everything thathappens in here is reflected
back.
Everything is a mirror.
This is how we get to reallyunderstand what is the work that

(01:53):
we have to do, because we don'tgain more respect from
demanding it from people orordering other people to respect
us.
That's a surefire way to not berespected.
We start to gain more respectfrom the people around us when

(02:16):
first we start embodying thatrespect.
So first thing that we want tolook at is one do I feel
deserving of respect?
Do I feel deserving that Ishould be respected?
And this is a very internalstory.

(02:37):
So what you can do right now isyou can ask yourself that
question and just feel into yourbody.
What does it feel that first,that first intuitive nudge that
comes through is either going tobe a yes or it's going to be a
no, and that simply is anindication of some of the work

(02:59):
that may need to get done.
So if you do hear a no, onedon't judge it.
It's not about judging or aboutgetting critical.
It's just information thatallows us to see okay, there's
some healing that needs to bedone in that area, and that is

(03:20):
some deeper work that you can doon your own or with a
professional to start getting tothe bottom of why do I feel
that I shouldn't be respected?
A lot of times it's a patternyou learned, it's a pattern you
picked up and it's a patternthat can be broken.

(03:41):
It's a pattern that can beshifted.
It's not who you are at yourcore.
So that is always the firstquestion Do you believe that you
deserve to be respected?
The second, lot of the timesthat they want to say no, that

(04:13):
they're overextending themselvesto the point of exhaustion
Sometimes this happens in workenvironments where you feel that
you can't say no and a lot oftimes when we feel like we're
not being respected, it's notthat the person is not
respecting you or that they'rebeing malicious.

(04:35):
It's that you've simply trainedthem in this dynamic.
And now that you're at a pointwhere you're starting to feel
resentment or anger, right, wecan start projecting it onto the
person that the person is doingsomething wrong or the person
is taking advantage of us, whenreally they've just fallen into

(04:57):
a pattern that we have created.
Right now we're talking aboutwhat you can do to shift the
narrative, and that second stepis to ask yourself well, where
am I not honoring myself.
So where am I not honoring myown boundaries?

(05:18):
Are there places where I'msaying yes, where I really want
to say no?
And how can I start?
Right, it doesn't matter if youhave to even start at that
super, super baby step here ofwhere can I start to honor
myself and start saying no, andyou may need to get some help

(05:42):
with this.
You may need to get somesupport.
What can come up a lot when westart honoring our boundaries is
the whole nervous system right.
It starts firing up becausewe've built a pattern where it
doesn't feel safe for us to sayno.
So you may find that you wantto work with someone as you

(06:05):
start to set these newboundaries.
But as you start to set newboundaries, you start teaching
people how to honor yourboundaries.
Teaching people how to honoryour boundaries.
By you first honoring yourboundaries, you are teaching
people how they can honor yourboundaries and how they can also

(06:27):
set boundaries for themselves.
Boundaries are a win-winLearning how to set boundaries.
That's been a lifelong journeyfor myself as well, and it's a
process, especially when youconsider yourself to be more
empathic or more highlysensitive, where we are often
the givers right.
It's very easy for us to give,give, give, give, give, but then

(06:52):
, when it's time for us to giveto ourselves, we can have
challenges.
So number three is looking atthe other patterns that you have
.
So how are you honoring andrespecting yourself?
This looks at what are thefoods that you're eating daily.

(07:14):
Are you eating foods that fuelyour body, that nourish your
body?
Are you eating foods where youknow that they're not nourishing
your body?
But maybe you have patternswhere you're self-soothing,
you're numbing out with food.
Right, you're self soothing,you're numbing out with food.

(07:34):
Again, no judgment.
Release any judgment.
These are just patterns for usto bring awareness to, for us to
see them and say, hey, okay,I'm seeing these patterns.
These patterns are in place fora reason.
We don't have patterns justwilly nilly or randomly.
We cultivate patterns, we gainpatterns, whether we are

(07:57):
protecting ourselves, whether weare using them to feel safe.
So, releasing judgment and justseeing it for what it is, it's
just a pattern and if it nolonger serves you, then it's a
pattern we need to change.
So how are you treating yourself?
Are you respecting yourselfwhen you go out?

(08:17):
Are you giving yourself enoughtime?
Are you always rushing?
Do you allow yourself oneveryone else, but not on you.
Do you value your own ideas?

(08:41):
When someone is talking and youdon't agree with what they are
saying, do you use your voice?
Do you share your opinion?
So these are all ways that wedemonstrate that we are
respecting ourselves.
So when we are not feelingrespected at work or at home, we

(09:08):
always want to hold the mirrorup and take a look and again
first asking ourselves thequestion am I deserving of
respect?
Of course you are, but do youfeel that you are?
If it's a no, then that's yourfirst work, that's the first

(09:29):
work to do.
And then it is asking thequestion how are you respecting
yourself?
How is that showing up in yourday to day?
And if you start to see thegaps, if you start to say, oh,
you know what, I'm not reallyrespecting myself.
I'm not giving myself what I'masking other people to give me.

(09:52):
So I need to start givingmyself what I'm asking other
people to give me.
So I need to start givingmyself what I'm asking other
people to give me.
And I know that that, as areflection, I'm going to be
reflected back.
That respect.
It all starts here.
You have to respect yourself toexpect to get respect and, of

(10:15):
course, you need to berespecting other people.
But in the context of what weare talking about right now,
it's really important to lookinward, because the clientele
that I work with, the peoplethat come to me, they don't have
any problem respecting otherpeople.

(10:36):
They are respecting otherpeople.
That is the type of people theyare.
They're not disrespectingpeople, but they can often be in
patterns where they are notfully respecting themselves.
Because one of the most commonpatterns I see with even the

(10:59):
leaders that I work with thatare at the top, they're the CEOs
or the top top performers,they're the top professionals.
A lot of them are veryheart-centered, a lot of them
are highly sensitive, a lot ofthem are more introverted and
they can have patterns that theypour into everyone else giving,

(11:23):
giving, giving but then, whenit comes to them, there's a gap.
So I hope this was helpful.
It's always a reflection.
If you take nothing else fromthis podcast, everything is a
reflection.
So if you want to changeanything externally, we got to
start internally first.

(11:44):
Leader, I appreciate you, Ilove you, as always.
Thank you for joining me.
If you have questions, pleasedrop them below.
If you would like to speak tome about the Magnetic Leader
Accelerator, which is mysignature program to help you
get aligned, to amplify yourvision and to accelerate your

(12:05):
results by holding youaccountable for the highest
leverage tasks.
Please head on over to thedescription and apply for a
conversation to see if youqualify and if it makes sense
with your goals.
As always, I love you, Iappreciate you and let's stay
connected.