Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're going to talk
about gentleness today, and why
this is such an important topicfor high achievers, top
performers, is becausegentleness is often seen as weak
or passive, when really whatgentleness is is an energy that
(00:23):
allows us to get very precisewith where we are going and
allows for a much more present,enjoyable experience getting
there.
Stick around, leaders, you'regoing to want to hear this uh.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Tap into your inner
power.
You got this.
Now go get it living up to yourfull potential.
Your energy is magnetic.
Big dreams believe in it.
Wisdom, we seeking it,everything that you're looking
for, brought to you by lisajeffs, the magnetic leader.
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(01:01):
Step it up because Find yourpurpose.
Time to be a magnetic leader.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Welcome to the show
leaders.
First and foremost, I will saythat I am a little under the
weather, which is why my voicemay sound a little strange today
, and you may notice I kind ofpause and stop because I may
need to sneeze.
So let's get into it while I'mfeeling pretty good.
(01:35):
No sneezes yet.
We want to talk aboutgentleness.
This was a channel message thatcame through for the Magnetic
Leadership Accelerator this weekand it's perfect for this month
which we are in May.
Spring is the perfect time tosee and understand that you
(01:59):
don't have to micromanagesomething for it to grow.
Micromanage something for it togrow.
The seeds have already beenplanted and you get to enjoy and
watch as those seeds bloom intosomething gorgeous.
So let's talk about what gentleis and what gentle isn't.
(02:22):
So when we talk about highperformers, high achievers, top
professionals these are theclients that I work with.
This is the energy that Iresonate with very much.
There can be an intensity withthis, an intensity of thoughts,
(02:43):
an intensity of thought patterns, an intensity of taking actions
.
Even when you're not takingactions, you may feel like you
are in an intense energy.
Intense energy, and what thisdoes is it often creates more of
(03:12):
the same, or it leads toburnout and it leads to us
living a very dry, crumbly,always chasing, always striving,
always trying to climb themountain, but never enjoying the
peak when we get there.
So I want to talk a little bitabout what gentleness is.
(03:35):
Gentleness is simply a way ofbeing that allows you to be in
the present moment, in a stateof full trust and surrender, so
you stop micromanaging life andyou can start co-creating with
(03:59):
it.
It means having a regulatednervous system.
It means being able to do atask and be present with that
task, not thinking of all theother tasks.
You need to do no-transcriptand actually enjoy it, not
(04:31):
chugging it down while you'reeither thinking of work to do or
you're doing work.
There's a lot of still intoday's world of you know.
We have the awareness, weunderstand burnout, we have this
(04:52):
science even, and still thereis a lot of emphasis on doing,
doing, doing, work, work, work.
You got to work harder than X,y, z to get to the goal and
there's nothing against hardwork.
There's a time and place andthere can be benefits to that,
(05:14):
of course, especially tosomeone's character.
But we've taken it to like theextreme and I work with clients
all the time who are sabotagingtheir growth, who are not
hitting the numbers that theywant, who are not hitting the
outcomes that they desire, andthey are working constantly.
(05:37):
They are literally burning out.
So let's not mistake just beinga doing machine going, going,
going, not taking any minute forrest or to be present as you on
the right path to hit yourgoals, because they really don't
(06:01):
match up, no matter how much BSis still being pumped out in
social media and in certainmagazines, et cetera.
I've had the blessing, truly,truly a blessing.
Something that I really neededwas two mentors that came into
(06:27):
my life, extremely successful,in fact, some of the most
successful people I know, bothin monetary means and in life
enjoyment and in health, andthey do not perpetuate the
(06:50):
hustle, hustle, hustle, go, gogo mentality.
They are very much aligned with.
Everything is energy and youcan't work out the wrong energy.
And it was a blessing to havethese mentors come into my life
because prior to that, I hadfallen into a pattern.
(07:11):
Well, I shouldn't even sayprior to that, I was always in a
pattern of working, overworkingand a real intense way of
living.
However, when I started mybusiness, there were some very
popular speakers and coachesthat would perpetuate the work
(07:37):
harder than everyone else,literally sleep two, three hours
a night and all that absolutegarbage.
And I fell into that patternfor a while Not that I was
sleeping two, three hours anight, I was still getting my
sleep in.
But then I was feeling guiltyabout it and it was just such
absolute nonsense.
(07:57):
So when we look at being gentle, it means taking a very
intentional.
It can be a slower pace, but Idon't want you to think that it
just means passive or slow,because that's not really what
(08:19):
it's about.
Let me give you an example.
When I used to drive to workand I used to work on the other
side of Toronto in non-rush hourit might take about 25, 30
minutes to get there.
In rush hour it could takeanywhere from an hour, usually
(08:40):
about an hour and a half to twohours plus to get across Toronto
and I would be driving when itwasn't bumper to bumper, driving
when it wasn't bumper to bumper, like a complete maniac.
I would go so fast.
It was just absolutelyridiculous how intense I would
(09:03):
have to be driving If someonecut me off.
Not that I was driving in andout, weaving in and out or
anything like that.
But I would get frustrated.
There was a lot of aggressionon the road and it was just not
an enjoyable experience.
And I did that for years and Iwould get to work.
(09:24):
It didn't.
It was a little bit, maybe ayear before I really made the
decision to stop going to thatplace.
That was literally eating upabout four hours of my time, my
day, every day, and I startedtaking a slower, more
(09:47):
intentional, peaceful ride.
I would listen to inspirationalaudio or I would listen to
enjoyable music and I would justenjoy the ride.
Often I would be in the slowlane and I would just be
(10:07):
enjoying myself being present.
I wasn't going below the speedlimit, I wasn't doing anything
wild like that.
I was enjoying and beingintentional about enjoying my
time on the road.
And what happened?
Did I get there substantiallyin less time?
(10:30):
Did it take me more time?
No, of course not.
It took me pretty much the sameamount of time to get to work,
but in a much more enjoyableprocess.
And this is what I am talkingabout being intentional about
(10:52):
how you're doing things, beingpresent and enjoying your
experience.
So part of being able to do thisone is understanding and really
breaking apart the myth thathard, hard force creates the
(11:15):
results that you want.
So I work with people that arevery driven, very passionate
about their work, but there'soften a force to it.
They feel that they have toforce things into existence.
They have to work really harduntil they're tired.
They can't end their day justfeeling relaxed or good, because
(11:38):
then they somehow wasted theday or they didn't do enough.
So you must start breaking downthe beliefs that lead to you
feeling like you have to havethis intensity or it's all going
to fall apart.
And a lot of this work isnervous system work.
(12:00):
A lot of this work is healingpatterns that you acquired in
growing up in your household orwhat you saw, and starting to
feel safe to slow down and bepresent.
It's also really apparent thatpeople who are constantly go, go
(12:25):
, go, go, go often do not wantto slow down enough to start
feeling there are things thatthey're avoiding.
They don't want to feel certainthings, so they keep busy.
Their minds are constantlygoing.
Their minds are extremely busyand often they push against
(12:48):
slowing down enough because theyknow that certain things are
going to come to the surface andthey don't want to deal with
them.
They don't want to feel them,and staying busy and being
really, really intense is a wayto block that all out.
It's a way for them to feelsafe.
(13:08):
So these are patterns we have toacknowledge, that get in the
way of us truly being able tosurrender, to trust and to enjoy
the process.
So trusting timing withoutbeing passive.
So a lot of times we stopourselves from being in a state
(13:33):
of trust and surrender becausewe think it's somehow passive,
that we're not doing anything.
And again, this belief is tiedto if I want something or if I
wanna see a certain result, Ihave to make it happen.
It's all on me, I need to do it.
And again, there's littlescience that shows this is not
(13:56):
the case anymore, but peoplestill have a hard time wrapping
their mind around this.
And if you go into a place whereyou understand that everything
is energy and everythingexternal is a mirror of
everything that you're feeling,that everything of your state of
(14:21):
being is mirrored outward, youstart to realize it's actually
not about doing In particular,it's not about doing in the
wrong energy which many of usare walking around in.
And I say wrong, wrong, notthat there is truly right or
wrong.
But if you want a certainresult and you're in an energy
(14:45):
of I don't believe it's going tohappen, I believe I have to
force it into existence.
I need to make everythinghappen.
No one's helping me, it's allon me.
Then you're just going to getthat mirrored back and people
get get into a place of panic.
That is not your authenticpower state.
(15:05):
Your authentic power state issomething that we talk about in
the magnetic leadershipaccelerator.
It is being intentional aboutbeing in your authentic power
state every single day.
This is a place of trust.
It's a place of knowing.
It's a place of being able toenjoy your life, to know that
(15:33):
the money's going to be therewhen you need it, that you are
worthy and deserving of rest, oflove, of fun, of success, of
impact.
You don't need to force thingsthat often you're forcing pushes
it further away.
(15:53):
Okay, being gentle about yourwork, about your life, it's a
practice.
It's a practice that I'mputting into place every day.
I'm not always perfect.
Sometimes I'm still rushingthrough let's say, my coffee If
(16:17):
I need to.
I know something, I'm on adeadline for something, but it's
just about switching.
You can switch that in themoment, once you realize once
you take notice.
Oh, you know what?
I'm kind of drinking this down.
I'm not really enjoying it.
Why, what's the fear here?
Is the fear I'm going to runout of time?
Is there a feeling that I don'tdeserve to take this time to
(16:43):
slow down and ease up because Ihave all these other things to
do?
There's a lot of these reallyinsidious patterns that come in
that we don't often think toomuch about until we stop them
and then we can really see, ohmy gosh, these patterns were
(17:05):
actually stealing from me,stealing peace, stealing
fulfillment, joy, purpose,passion and results and results,
(17:27):
because I can guarantee thatyou will not get the same
results trying to forcesomething, trying to make
something happen, than you willbeing very intentional about
your moment to moment day,enjoying every moment, setting
intentions with ease, knowingonce you set them it's done, and
(17:49):
your job is simply to takealigned actions and make sure
that your thought patterns andyour energy is focused on what
you want and not what you do notwant.
So I'm going to leave you witha question and I want you to
(18:09):
think about this when in my workor life am I still trying to
control instead of trust?
What would it look like Toshift from force To flow here,
because you're Never, you'venever, been meant to bulldoze
(18:31):
your way Into your purpose, intothe life and business or career
that you're creating.
Your power is not in the push,it's in your power is not in the
push, it's in your presence.
And when you learn to be gentlewith life, life becomes gentle
(18:53):
with you.
Leaders, thank you for joiningme.
I appreciate you.
If you want to go deeper onthis, if you know you need
accountability, go to my website, wwwlisajesscom, and apply for
(19:13):
a test drive consult.
In this consult, we will gothrough what you're experiencing
right now, with your challenges, any kind of issues that keep
popping up, and we will talkabout where you want to go and
you will walk away with a plan.
That plan may include workingtogether or it may not.
(19:38):
Either is fine, either is goingto get you moving, either is
going to give you clarity, soyou don't continue to loop
around in the problem, in thechallenge, because, hey, we all
have blind spots.
So I love you, I appreciate you, thank you for joining me and,
(19:59):
as always, let's stay connected.