January 19, 2025 • 17 mins
This episode explores the theme of overcoming self-doubt and fear to find satisfaction in life through the lens of personal experiences and relationships. We discuss the essential nature of inner peace, the impact of expectations from others, and the transformative power of certain books.
• Definition of life satisfaction as inner peace
• The challenging nature of fear in leadership
• The weight of expectations from loved ones
• Importance of supportive personal relationships
• Book recommendations for navigating life challenges
• The value of advocating for self and setting boundaries
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Take a breath, let's dive in.
Today, my goal is to sharesomething that I believe a lot
(00:21):
of people can relate to, whichis I have to learn to get out of
my own head.
My problem, as with many others, is that we like to stay in our
comfort zone.
We like to play it safe.
We can't and don't take riskunless it's calculated, when
(00:44):
sometimes we should simply justact.
The most difficult hurdle weface is always ourselves.
We're our own worst enemy.
We're our own worst critic whenthere are moments where we lie
(01:05):
to ourselves.
There's intelligent people outthere, all around us, that have
no confidence and they tellthemselves that they're unwise.
Now there's a person out therethat's a shining beacon of hope
to others.
They inspire others, they put asmile on so many people's faces
(01:27):
, and yet they feel inadequate.
Our feelings are merelyinterpretations of our
environment, a situation orexperience.
Feelings aren't facts, becausethey're always subject to change
(01:48):
when given a new perspective.
So challenge yourself to bemore than what you are, so you
can be as great as you should be.
And, that being said, this beingour second year of podcasting,
(02:10):
I am going to use this platformto challenge myself, to get out
of my comfort zone.
My problem is that I don't likethe spotlight.
I just want to create and enjoymy creations, whether it's art,
writing, music, fashion.
I love creating.
(02:31):
I just don't like attention,because I've always thought that
attention equals distraction.
I told myself that by puttingmyself out there I would be how
should I say this?
I would be distracted, I wouldbe pulled away from the things
(02:57):
that I wanted to do, when thetruth of the matter is that I've
been scared to interact withyou, the audience, because I am
such an introvert.
I play the part of a socialbutterfly, but I'm a shy guy at
my core, and so, with thisepisode, I'm going to come out
(03:19):
of my comfort zone and actuallyanswer a few questions that I've
received through variousplatforms Facebook, instagram
and LinkedIn and I'm going toread about 10 of those and, just
to be transparent, I onlyselected the 10 that appealed to
(03:42):
me, the ones that I liked, andtwo of the questions are from
family members, so I would liketo be transparent and honest
with that.
So, without further ado, let'sjust dive in.
These questions have beenaltered just for the reading
(04:04):
purposes, and the first questionis what does it mean to be
satisfied in life?
And my answer to that questionis when you have peace, then
you're satisfied in life.
Until you have inner peace andconfidence in all things, you'll
(04:25):
never be satisfied in life.
There's no such thing as atruly perfect situation.
But if you have peace in allthings and peace in your life,
then there's less stress and youhave the ability to just flow
and it means that you're movingforward.
And if you're moving forwardand you have peace, then you're
(04:50):
satisfied.
There's nothing that trumpspeace.
There's nothing that mattersmore than peace, because if you
have peace, then there's noturbulence.
That means that you're in agood mental state of being and
that is priceless.
I think peace is the ultimatereward for the life that you
(05:11):
live.
It's not the money or thematerialistic things, it's peace
.
Peace is the ultimate goal andpeace is true satisfaction of
life.
Question number two do you fearthings, even when you know the
(05:32):
outcome?
I mean yes, every single day.
I fear so many every single day.
I fear so many things everysingle day.
There's lots of times where,even though I know things are
going to me to have the answers,other people are looking to me
(06:00):
for guidance and I don't want tofail, because the failure may
reflect on me negatively,because my failures are not my
own.
I think when you're in aposition of leadership, you
realize that you have a duty toserve and, as such, I have to
(06:25):
think about failure, because myfailure has that will benefit
all those around me.
And so it's difficult at timesto be confident, as I want to be
(06:50):
, only because I'm in a positionof leadership.
I think that if I was not in aposition of leadership, then the
decisions that I would make Iwould not feel any fear.
I believe that before I was ina position of leadership, I was
daring to be bold simply becauseI was not beholden upon anyone
(07:13):
else.
I could do as I please, and doit knowing that it would work
out.
And now, even though I knowthings are going to work out and
I have all the experience inthe world, I still doubt myself
because of the fact that I'm ina position of leadership and
other people are depending on meto make the right decisions.
(07:36):
What is my greatest fear?
Hmm, what is my greatest fear?
My greatest fear is lettingdown all the people who matter
to me, all the people who havesacrificed so much for me to be
where I am is my greatest fearthe people who invested time in
(08:00):
me.
To know that I let them downwould break my own heart.
You know, I never want todisappoint, whether it's my
mentors or my family membersthat truly have poured into me
to teach me things, to just helpme develop as a human being, to
teach me things to just help medevelop as a human being.
(08:22):
I have such a high regard forall of those people and such a
reverence that I cannot standthe thought of ever failing them
, because failing them wouldmean that I failed at life and
it would mean that theirsacrifice wasn't worth it.
It would also mean that theychose poorly to invest in
(08:44):
someone that did not meet theirexpectations.
There's very few people that Ifeel this way about, but the
fact that there are people whodecided that I was a worthy bet
means that I have a worthy bet,means that I have to prove them
(09:05):
right, and that's the cross thatI bear, or the burden that I
carry is that I don't want tolet down any of those people,
because I know what they did toget me to where I am today and
because I know what they did toget me to where I am today, and
because I know their sacrifice,I have to succeed.
I have to do what's right,because without them there is no
(09:31):
me, and I think that's whatkeeps me motivated as well.
It is my greatest fear, but alsomy greatest motivation, because
so many people have taught methings, whether you know, I'm
looking at just finances, or I'mlooking at just how to be a
good human being, or how tocommunicate effectively, or how
(09:52):
to navigate difficult situations.
They're people who you knowthat in moments where I needed
them or I just needed a goodhuman being around, they were
there.
For example, when I was incollege and I was working and
interning and I felt like therewas never enough time in the
(10:15):
world, there was a lady at thecafe that every time she saw me,
she just made a coffee and shesaid something nice that kept me
going, something nice that keptme going.
You know that was fuel, youknow, for for my, for my brain,
not just the coffee or caffeine,but just the act of kindness
(10:36):
that someone could see beyondtheir own situation, and they
helped me.
And maybe to other people itwas just coffee, but to me it
was more than that, and so I amgrateful for those things and I
don't take those acts ofkindness for granted.
(10:58):
Or the people who you knowmaybe they trained me and they
took the time to train me justso that I could just be better.
Or my mechanic my mechanic thatwould never charge me a dime to
ever work on my car.
Or, you know, my uncle thatwould never charge me to help me
(11:24):
with my finances.
You know, he would say, one dayyou'll be one of my clients,
but that never happened becausehe retired.
All these people have done somuch for me that I was able to
always navigate life's difficulthurdles and challenges.
So I can't let any of thosepeople down because they wanted
(11:47):
me to succeed.
I think that one of thegreatest gifts that I was given
in my personal life is that Iwas always told that I could
accomplish anything that Iwanted to, and I was always told
I could be whatever I wanted tobe.
So my inner circle in life, mycore people, have never doubted
(12:17):
me and have only pushed meforward to be the best human
being that I could be, and Icarry that with me every day
through life.
The only time I everexperienced people throwing
shade or people being negativewas the world, but I had.
I went into the world havingthe confidence that I could do
anything, I could be anything,because my home base was my
(12:38):
battery of confidence.
So all the people that were inmy inner circle gave me the
confidence to know that I coulddo anything and I could be
anything, and so it would be aslap in the face if I didn't
accomplish or live up to theirexpectations.
(13:00):
I know all other people willhave different feelings on that
issue, but that's my biggestfear.
That would break my heart toknow that I did not live up to
their expectations.
And so let's look at another one.
What book would you recommendpeople to read?
I would recommend two books.
(13:21):
The first one is Getting to yes, so it's a book on negotiating,
and you can use it in anysituation, because you realize
that anything that deals withanother human being is kind of
negotiation and communication.
That book has allowed me toreally take the time to think
(13:44):
about the words that I'm usingand to properly navigate
situations in which my ego willclash with another human being's
ego, and so I make a situationas much as I can when it's in my
power, more so the situationthan about me, the situation
(14:14):
than about me, and that book hasallowed me to just better
create equitable situations forboth parties when dealing with
you know each other and justoverall how to be a better
person.
I think a good negotiator cancreate a situation where both
parties, or all parties, canstand to benefit.
And the second book is theSubtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.
(14:37):
I love that book because theworld will always make you feel
less than the world will and incertain situations others will
put doubt in your mind, and Ithink that book kind of allowed
me to just weed out the peoplewho don't matter in my life and
(15:03):
to embrace the people who domatter, and so I definitely
recommend people reading thatbook or or listening to it as an
audio book.
I prefer the audio book, um,because that's definitely been
the cornerstone of of my adultlife.
I think since reading it I'veadopted a lot of the
(15:25):
philosophies in that book andit's and it's helped me navigate
so many situations and alsojust learning to let people go
and how to identify good peoplewho should be in your life, and
how to be an advocate foryourselves and how to speak up.
(15:45):
I think sometimes we're not ourbest advocate.
We advocate for other people,but we don't know how to speak
up.
I think sometimes we're not ourbest advocate.
We advocate for other people,but we don't know how to
advocate for ourselves.
We don't know how to create apositive light on ourselves, and
also, sometimes we need to justtell people to just fuck off,
(16:09):
in not so many words, butsometimes that's the only way to
say it.
Not everyone's meant to be inyour life and not everyone's
meant to be your friend, and noteveryone has your best
interests.
And that's just life.
And sometimes we're so afraidof letting people go that we let
them be the dead weight or welet them be the person that that
(16:33):
drains, you know, our, oursocial batteries, or or just
weigh on us emotionally.
Some people just suck the lifeand energy out of you, and it
takes guts to speak your truth,and I think sometimes it's hard
to do so when you don't knowwhat to say or have the tools
(16:56):
and resources to be able to justcut people off, and so I think
that that book is a greatresource.
For that reason, if you enjoyedtoday's content, please like
and subscribe for more.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Take a breath, let's dive in.
Today, my goal is to sharesomething that I believe a lot
(00:21):
of people can relate to, whichis I have to learn to get out of
my own head.
My problem, as with many others, is that we like to stay in our
comfort zone.
We like to play it safe.
We can't and don't take riskunless it's calculated, when
(00:44):
sometimes we should simply justact.
The most difficult hurdle weface is always ourselves.
We're our own worst enemy.
We're our own worst critic whenthere are moments where we lie
(01:05):
to ourselves.
There's intelligent people outthere, all around us, that have
no confidence and they tellthemselves that they're unwise.
Now there's a person out therethat's a shining beacon of hope
to others.
They inspire others, they put asmile on so many people's faces
(01:27):
, and yet they feel inadequate.
Our feelings are merelyinterpretations of our
environment, a situation orexperience.
Feelings aren't facts, becausethey're always subject to change
(01:48):
when given a new perspective.
So challenge yourself to bemore than what you are, so you
can be as great as you should be.
And, that being said, this beingour second year of podcasting,
(02:10):
I am going to use this platformto challenge myself, to get out
of my comfort zone.
My problem is that I don't likethe spotlight.
I just want to create and enjoymy creations, whether it's art,
writing, music, fashion.
I love creating.
(02:31):
I just don't like attention,because I've always thought that
attention equals distraction.
I told myself that by puttingmyself out there I would be how
should I say this?
I would be distracted, I wouldbe pulled away from the things
(02:57):
that I wanted to do, when thetruth of the matter is that I've
been scared to interact withyou, the audience, because I am
such an introvert.
I play the part of a socialbutterfly, but I'm a shy guy at
my core, and so, with thisepisode, I'm going to come out
(03:19):
of my comfort zone and actuallyanswer a few questions that I've
received through variousplatforms Facebook, instagram
and LinkedIn and I'm going toread about 10 of those and, just
to be transparent, I onlyselected the 10 that appealed to
(03:42):
me, the ones that I liked, andtwo of the questions are from
family members, so I would liketo be transparent and honest
with that.
So, without further ado, let'sjust dive in.
These questions have beenaltered just for the reading
(04:04):
purposes, and the first questionis what does it mean to be
satisfied in life?
And my answer to that questionis when you have peace, then
you're satisfied in life.
Until you have inner peace andconfidence in all things, you'll
(04:25):
never be satisfied in life.
There's no such thing as atruly perfect situation.
But if you have peace in allthings and peace in your life,
then there's less stress and youhave the ability to just flow
and it means that you're movingforward.
And if you're moving forwardand you have peace, then you're
(04:50):
satisfied.
There's nothing that trumpspeace.
There's nothing that mattersmore than peace, because if you
have peace, then there's noturbulence.
That means that you're in agood mental state of being and
that is priceless.
I think peace is the ultimatereward for the life that you
(05:11):
live.
It's not the money or thematerialistic things, it's peace
.
Peace is the ultimate goal andpeace is true satisfaction of
life.
Question number two do you fearthings, even when you know the
(05:32):
outcome?
I mean yes, every single day.
I fear so many every single day.
I fear so many things everysingle day.
There's lots of times where,even though I know things are
going to me to have the answers,other people are looking to me
(06:00):
for guidance and I don't want tofail, because the failure may
reflect on me negatively,because my failures are not my
own.
I think when you're in aposition of leadership, you
realize that you have a duty toserve and, as such, I have to
(06:25):
think about failure, because myfailure has that will benefit
all those around me.
And so it's difficult at timesto be confident, as I want to be
(06:50):
, only because I'm in a positionof leadership.
I think that if I was not in aposition of leadership, then the
decisions that I would make Iwould not feel any fear.
I believe that before I was ina position of leadership, I was
daring to be bold simply becauseI was not beholden upon anyone
(07:13):
else.
I could do as I please, and doit knowing that it would work
out.
And now, even though I knowthings are going to work out and
I have all the experience inthe world, I still doubt myself
because of the fact that I'm ina position of leadership and
other people are depending on meto make the right decisions.
(07:36):
What is my greatest fear?
Hmm, what is my greatest fear?
My greatest fear is lettingdown all the people who matter
to me, all the people who havesacrificed so much for me to be
where I am is my greatest fearthe people who invested time in
(08:00):
me.
To know that I let them downwould break my own heart.
You know, I never want todisappoint, whether it's my
mentors or my family membersthat truly have poured into me
to teach me things, to just helpme develop as a human being, to
teach me things to just help medevelop as a human being.
(08:22):
I have such a high regard forall of those people and such a
reverence that I cannot standthe thought of ever failing them
, because failing them wouldmean that I failed at life and
it would mean that theirsacrifice wasn't worth it.
It would also mean that theychose poorly to invest in
(08:44):
someone that did not meet theirexpectations.
There's very few people that Ifeel this way about, but the
fact that there are people whodecided that I was a worthy bet
means that I have a worthy bet,means that I have to prove them
(09:05):
right, and that's the cross thatI bear, or the burden that I
carry is that I don't want tolet down any of those people,
because I know what they did toget me to where I am today and
because I know what they did toget me to where I am today, and
because I know their sacrifice,I have to succeed.
I have to do what's right,because without them there is no
(09:31):
me, and I think that's whatkeeps me motivated as well.
It is my greatest fear, but alsomy greatest motivation, because
so many people have taught methings, whether you know, I'm
looking at just finances, or I'mlooking at just how to be a
good human being, or how tocommunicate effectively, or how
(09:52):
to navigate difficult situations.
They're people who you knowthat in moments where I needed
them or I just needed a goodhuman being around, they were
there.
For example, when I was incollege and I was working and
interning and I felt like therewas never enough time in the
(10:15):
world, there was a lady at thecafe that every time she saw me,
she just made a coffee and shesaid something nice that kept me
going, something nice that keptme going.
You know that was fuel, youknow, for for my, for my brain,
not just the coffee or caffeine,but just the act of kindness
(10:36):
that someone could see beyondtheir own situation, and they
helped me.
And maybe to other people itwas just coffee, but to me it
was more than that, and so I amgrateful for those things and I
don't take those acts ofkindness for granted.
(10:58):
Or the people who you knowmaybe they trained me and they
took the time to train me justso that I could just be better.
Or my mechanic my mechanic thatwould never charge me a dime to
ever work on my car.
Or, you know, my uncle thatwould never charge me to help me
(11:24):
with my finances.
You know, he would say, one dayyou'll be one of my clients,
but that never happened becausehe retired.
All these people have done somuch for me that I was able to
always navigate life's difficulthurdles and challenges.
So I can't let any of thosepeople down because they wanted
(11:47):
me to succeed.
I think that one of thegreatest gifts that I was given
in my personal life is that Iwas always told that I could
accomplish anything that Iwanted to, and I was always told
I could be whatever I wanted tobe.
So my inner circle in life, mycore people, have never doubted
(12:17):
me and have only pushed meforward to be the best human
being that I could be, and Icarry that with me every day
through life.
The only time I everexperienced people throwing
shade or people being negativewas the world, but I had.
I went into the world havingthe confidence that I could do
anything, I could be anything,because my home base was my
(12:38):
battery of confidence.
So all the people that were inmy inner circle gave me the
confidence to know that I coulddo anything and I could be
anything, and so it would be aslap in the face if I didn't
accomplish or live up to theirexpectations.
(13:00):
I know all other people willhave different feelings on that
issue, but that's my biggestfear.
That would break my heart toknow that I did not live up to
their expectations.
And so let's look at another one.
What book would you recommendpeople to read?
I would recommend two books.
(13:21):
The first one is Getting to yes, so it's a book on negotiating,
and you can use it in anysituation, because you realize
that anything that deals withanother human being is kind of
negotiation and communication.
That book has allowed me toreally take the time to think
(13:44):
about the words that I'm usingand to properly navigate
situations in which my ego willclash with another human being's
ego, and so I make a situationas much as I can when it's in my
power, more so the situationthan about me, the situation
(14:14):
than about me, and that book hasallowed me to just better
create equitable situations forboth parties when dealing with
you know each other and justoverall how to be a better
person.
I think a good negotiator cancreate a situation where both
parties, or all parties, canstand to benefit.
And the second book is theSubtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.
(14:37):
I love that book because theworld will always make you feel
less than the world will and incertain situations others will
put doubt in your mind, and Ithink that book kind of allowed
me to just weed out the peoplewho don't matter in my life and
(15:03):
to embrace the people who domatter, and so I definitely
recommend people reading thatbook or or listening to it as an
audio book.
I prefer the audio book, um,because that's definitely been
the cornerstone of of my adultlife.
I think since reading it I'veadopted a lot of the
(15:25):
philosophies in that book andit's and it's helped me navigate
so many situations and alsojust learning to let people go
and how to identify good peoplewho should be in your life, and
how to be an advocate foryourselves and how to speak up.
(15:45):
I think sometimes we're not ourbest advocate.
We advocate for other people,but we don't know how to speak
up.
I think sometimes we're not ourbest advocate.
We advocate for other people,but we don't know how to
advocate for ourselves.
We don't know how to create apositive light on ourselves, and
also, sometimes we need to justtell people to just fuck off,
(16:09):
in not so many words, butsometimes that's the only way to
say it.
Not everyone's meant to be inyour life and not everyone's
meant to be your friend, and noteveryone has your best
interests.
And that's just life.
And sometimes we're so afraidof letting people go that we let
them be the dead weight or welet them be the person that that
(16:33):
drains, you know, our, oursocial batteries, or or just
weigh on us emotionally.
Some people just suck the lifeand energy out of you, and it
takes guts to speak your truth,and I think sometimes it's hard
to do so when you don't knowwhat to say or have the tools
(16:56):
and resources to be able to justcut people off, and so I think
that that book is a greatresource.
For that reason, if you enjoyedtoday's content, please like
and subscribe for more.
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