March 23, 2024 • 27 mins
Have you ever felt the sting of betrayal, that sharp turn of events when trust is broken and your ideas are stolen? I've been there, walking through the fire of intellectual theft by someone I once respected—a professor who took my podcasting concept and claimed it as their own. Our latest episode is a raw and intimate reflection on that journey, where pain became the catalyst for growth and self-discovery. We weave through the lessons learned, emphasizing the importance of guarding our mental space and the power of self-worth in a world that can often seem filled with deception.
Joining me is a dear friend, whose own story of resilience in the face of duplicity serves as a beacon of hope. Together, we celebrate the unbreakable bonds of love and support, acknowledging the true wealth found in our relationships. We discuss how to maintain our integrity amidst life's challenges, and why recognizing the priceless nature of kindness, gratitude, and self-love is essential. Listen in as we honor the enduring human spirit, sharing insights on how to emerge from the shadows of betrayal with grace and strength, bound by the love that holds us together even in our darkest hours.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Take a breath, let's dive in.
Hello and welcome to theMagnificent Ones podcast, where
(00:23):
the motto is let's talk abouteverything, and I truly do love
talking about everything.
You know tonight's topic isabout betrayal and how it comes
in many forms.
But before we get into thetopic, I would like to just take
a moment to say thank you.
Thank you for joining in, thankyou for listening and if you're
(00:44):
a first time, you know alistener, you know welcome.
This channel isn't what it iswithout you guys tuning in and
I'm very honored to haveexperienced the growth that I
have and I'm so grateful and Ilook forward to see where this
(01:04):
year takes.
You know, being in the thirdquarter of the year, I feel so
fulfilled I truly do and thisprogram wouldn't be what it is
without you know all thefeedback, whether it's criticism
or just a congratulatory, youknow conversation or comment.
(01:25):
I just want to say thank yousincerely and as the channel
grows, you know I look forwardto seeing where this journey
takes me and takes you all aswell.
It is a privilege to be able tohave an idea in your head and
(01:46):
to watch that idea come to life,to materialize.
You know, who would havethought a year ago that you know
things would be going as it isright now?
But the fact is it is, and it'sa testament to both hard work,
to the people who contribute,you know, whether it's it's
(02:10):
Olocron productions that makesthe music in the background, you
know, or people who help withresearch and so many other
things, or the inspiration fromthe conversations that I have in
real life.
This journey is not a journeywithout all of you, and it would
(02:34):
not be good of me to not takethis time to say thank you,
because without you all, thereis no me in this space, and so I
have to always have theattitude of gratitude and to
always say thank you when themoment presents itself.
(02:56):
So this is me taking my breath,taking a deep dive into saying
thank you and just continue.
Thank you for your continuedsupport.
You know you don't have tospend your mornings listening,
or evenings or what have youlistening to my podcast.
There's thousands of otherpodcasts, and so the fact that
(03:18):
you take the time wherever, inwhatever 20 countries or 300 in
something cities that you allare hailing from, you take the
moment to consciously or stumbleupon my podcast and you
continue to listen, and so, forme, 20 countries is a very big
(03:38):
deal.
So, thank you.
And, you know, let's truly takea breath and dive in.
Let's talk about thisconventional topic of betrayal
in an unconventional way, andI'll share my personal
experience with the topic aswell, as you know some things
(03:59):
that I've studied and learnedthroughout the years.
So let's dive in, guys and, asalways, be magnificent.
You know, betrayal is such ahard topic to cover because it's
one of those things where Idon't know if I wanted to take a
more analytical approach or amore feelings-based approach to
(04:27):
this episode.
So maybe I'm trying to find thebalance between the two.
I'm conflicted in that way, andso I want to start off with
forms of betrayal, and the firstthing that came to mind was
betrayal of confidence.
You know there's people outthere sometimes that will.
(04:53):
You tell them things aboutyourself.
You tell them things aboutyourself.
Maybe you confide in them yourinsecurities and then all of
your weaknesses, only to havethem use that against you in
your moment of weakness, andmaybe they use that as a means
(05:13):
to manipulate you or what haveyou.
But you know, I've seen it.
I haven't had that experiencepersonally, but I've seen it
happen to other people growingup and I never understood it on
either ends, because a lot oftimes in those toxic
(05:33):
relationships, both partiesremain in that relationship,
whether it's a friendship or aromantic, you know relationship,
and so and I, like I said, Ihaven't directly dealt with that
, but I wanted to go into it inany way because it's still
(05:54):
important and I've had a closeencounter with that personally,
and it was with podcasting.
Ironically, there was aprofessor that I was working
with and I wanted to get apodcast up and going, and I had
an idea that I wanted to do andthis professor decided to take
(06:20):
my podcasting idea and run withit and did not, you know, tell
me that they were doing this orthat they were going to start a
you know another podcasting, youknow program, and so they
completely stole, like my notes,everything, and you know,
(06:43):
didn't say anything to me aboutit and you know they built up a
catalog of all of ourconversations and my ideas and
how I wanted to execute thepodcast.
And, long story short, whenyou're the original creator of
an idea, whether it's art,literature, you can always
(07:05):
create more ideas regardless,which is good, because you
didn't steal those ideas,they're yours.
And so for this individual totake my idea they didn't
necessarily and my actual workitself they didn't know what
thoughts I had in my head,because we didn't talk about the
(07:27):
thoughts of hey, I could seethis being a potential problem
down the line, you know, becauseit was usury.
Someone saw an opportunity totake something and they did, and
that happens in life, and Idecided that I was never going
to confront this person about it.
And the reason being is becauseI was using this person as my
(07:52):
research guinea pig to see thepitfalls in my ideas, the holes
in my ideas, and I got to watchit play out in real time.
It did sting knowing that thisperson did lie to me and did
steal my work, but at the end ofthe day, I could always prove
(08:14):
that the person stole my work.
But I did not want to stake myreputation on an idea that was
not fully flushed out or fullyknow how things would play out,
and so this person provided mewith live data of what was wrong
with my ideas, as well as theexecution.
(08:35):
So I learned how not to docertain things, how not to say
certain things, how to phrasethings so that I could engage in
a way in which, no matter whatdemographic you are, there's
something here for you.
So that's how I handled that.
And you'll notice, a constanttheme in my life is that a lot
(08:57):
of times, unless someone isbeing an immediate danger to
myself or those around me, Idon't act on emotion.
So I do pretend like I don'tknow that someone screwed me
over or that I don't know thatwhat's going on.
But I like to pretend that I'mignorant in that way, because
(09:23):
the amount of energy that I haveto pour into fighting someone
or arguing someone to me it'snot worth it.
It's a headache.
I have better things to do withmy time.
So I never really engage thingslike that.
You know it doesn't really leadanyone in a way that is
beneficial to anyone in the end.
So for me, confrontation has to, is probably will take on more
(09:48):
of a physical form, in that Ihave to defend myself in a
physical manner.
And so long as I don't have todefend myself in a physical
manner, because I'll handle thatright, then and there then it's
okay to just let the personsteal because at the end of the
day, you know there's not muchto say, you know, there's the
person is who they are, you know, and that doesn't need an
(10:11):
explanation.
If someone made a decision tobetray you, you know, you don't
truly need an explanation as towhy they just betrayed you, you
know, and to me the why isn'treally important, it's just the
fact that they did what they did, you know.
With that being said, you know,I'd like to talk about just
deception and misleading.
(10:31):
You know, like there's peopleout there that they just want to
see chaos and they don't carewho pays the price for that
chaos.
I remember, a years ago, I had,you know, a neighbor of mine,
you know, and we became really,really good friends and this was
(10:54):
also around the time that itstarted dating my wife.
And you know, I didn't realizeat the time that he, you know,
he hated my wife, you know, ormy girlfriend at the time, and
he kind of felt that my wife wastaking his in his place because
we had this routine where wehung out every single day and
(11:16):
that became, hey, man, sorry, wecan't hang out today, I'm going
on a date, you know, and so Iguess, and my parents were going
through divorce at the timesimultaneously, and I canceled
on a date with my girlfriend,which is my wife at the time,
and I canceled on his birthdayparty because, you know, just a
(11:38):
lot of things were going on atonce and so, you know, he used
that as an opportunity to try tocreate a wedge between, you
know, my girlfriend and I.
And he said to me he's like hey, man, you know, your girlfriend
came to my party and he camewith another guy and what have
(11:59):
you.
And because he's my really,really good friend, I could not
even fathom that he would lie.
And you know, and it was, itwas a lie.
And so I literally did notspeak to my girlfriend you know,
I guess ex-girlfriend for anentire year because of that
(12:22):
entire debacle.
And you know, I neverconfronted him about it and I
told my wife, I said there's noneed for me to confront him
about it because every day thatwe're together it's him
wondering if you know, if welike talked about it or hashed
things out, you know, or if welike found out that it was him,
(12:44):
you know, and he gets to liveinto that prism.
I never confronted him about itand she never confronted him
about it Because, again, he knewwhat he did and, regardless of
his reasoning, he still didsomething that was gonna cause
harm to both of us and he did so.
(13:04):
I don't need an explanation, Idon't need an apology.
It's just that once you cross acertain line, you know we just
move on and you no longer.
I mourn the loss of thatfriendship, but I don't dwell on
it and I just keep movingforward.
And I think a lot of people canlearn from that is that when
(13:25):
someone doesn't have your bestinterests at heart, you don't
need to know why.
You know sometimes it's okay tojust move on and move forward.
And the closure isn't you'renever gonna get the closure from
the person's words.
You get the closure fromaccepting the situation for what
(13:45):
it is and moving on.
The processing of thatinformation, the processing of
the loss of that friendship, isyour closure.
That's the truth.
Time does heal wounds and eachdate hurts a little less.
But you can't do that if you'reconstantly, you know, fighting
(14:09):
with a person for an answer thatthey may not even give you, the
true, the answer that you want,and that's the thing.
The answer that you want isn'tthe answer that you're going to
get in most situations, becausethe answer that we want, that's
our ego talking the.
It was an accident, it won'thappen again.
(14:30):
That's our ego that wants tohear that.
And that's that's just what itis.
If you take your ego out of thesituation as well, you learn
that sometimes you just walkaway because something just
isn't for you.
Not everything is for us.
You know, I recall a great quote.
(14:52):
It said that not everyone youfight is your enemy and not
everyone that you love is yourfriend.
And that quote it I think.
I don't remember, I think itmight have been Mike Tyson, that
that's that said that and it'ssomething that rings in my head
(15:16):
whenever I experience certainthings and I and I'm like, okay,
it's one of those situationswhere this person that's my
enemy.
Yes, we're, we're, we'recompeting against each other,
but we're not enemies, we'rejust, it's just competition.
And there's the man I love youand that person is the one
stabbing me in the back theentire time.
(15:38):
I have to move forward and andjust accept it.
Like I said, I'm more in theloss of that friendship, Because
it's all that we can do.
You know, like we can't controlthe past, we can't control time
, we can't even control ouremotions.
In our emotions they fluctuate.
But what we can't control ishow we handle the situation.
(15:59):
What can we logically handle oremotionally handle?
What can we actually do?
Walking away is something youcan walk away from a
relationship that's toxic.
You can walk away from afriendship that is manipulative
in nature.
You can walk away from toxic.
(16:20):
It sucks because sometimes it'sall any of us know.
You know, I was thinking about aconcept the other day that
really had my mind blown, whichwas sometimes you could come
from the perfect home, aperfectly loving home, and that
perfectly loving home may notprepare you for the world that's
(16:40):
actually out there the doggydog, the, the back stabbing, the
, the slandering of, of, ofpeople's character and name.
You know, because in a lovinghome maybe you know people.
You know if you're religious,then you're, you're, you're,
you're taught turn the othercheek or you don't know what
(17:02):
gossip is.
You've read about it in a book,you've seen it in TV shows, but
you know your family isn't that.
You go out into the world andyou learn how nasty people can
be and it's like you're just notprepared for that.
I was that kid, I, I, you know Iwas not prepared for the world
and I mean I had a stable, youknow family until my parents,
(17:23):
you know, divorced and whatnot.
And the divorce while I was incollege.
So I was an adult, so I hadstability, I had love, I had
attention, affection, I couldcommunicate anything that I
wanted with my parents, I couldtalk to my parents, and because
I could do those things, it mademe very trusting of the world.
(17:47):
So if perfect example would bewhen I was younger, if someone
was like, hey, I need money, Iwould assume that anytime
someone asked me for money, itwas always like a truthful
situation, like it was theytruly needed the money for X, y,
z or what have you.
(18:07):
And when you come to that pointwhere you realize that not
everyone's being honest with you, you're like there's no way.
This person said that theirparents were in the hospital and
so they needed to borrow somemoney.
And then you find out that it'sa lie and the person really
just wanted to buy tickets for aconcert or something and you
would have given them money tothem anyway.
(18:28):
But you have to learn thatlesson, and so the life taught
me a lot of lessons aboutbetrayal, because I didn't have
to deal with those situations, Ididn't have to deal with that
kind of negativity, but I had togain the experience in the real
world of having gone through itand it sucked.
(18:50):
But at the same time, I'm happybecause now I get to talk about
it in a podcast years later orwhat have you.
One of the things that I'mpersonally working on now is
learning that, even though thesesituations take place, I don't
(19:16):
have to allow it, because, evenif I don't necessarily say
something to the individual thatdoes something against me, I
don't want it to occupy mymental real estate.
I don't want it to impede mythoughts and my positivity in
how I flow in my life andnavigate my daily situations.
(19:37):
That's what I'm working onright now, because I mean,
whether it's professionally, ofcourse there's people who tried
to create roadblocks for you,and that's just the reality of
things and I've had to learnthis.
Of course there's people that'sgonna take credit for your work
.
These things happen and I'velearned that what is mine is
(20:01):
mine, and those are things thatno one can take away for me.
That's something that I alittle model that I've been
working on.
I think that would go reallywell on a shirt.
What is mine is mine.
You can steal my idea, but atthe end of the day, it's my idea
, it is my brainchild and assuch, you can only talk about it
(20:24):
in so many ways until it'srevealed that that's not yours.
That just is what it is, and soif I were to take the time and
energy to fight every battle ofbetrayal, I wouldn't have energy
left to be standing tall.
I'd be depleted.
Let's just face it.
(20:46):
Staying up late night afternight with small children that
don't like to sleep sometimes Idon't have the energy for that
and I'm not gonna invest energyinto negativity.
The world already has enoughchaos and negativity and I don't
wanna contribute to it.
It's just not my thing.
(21:11):
But through it all, I feel theworst form of betrayal that
exists is the betrayal ofyourself, is when you know who
you are and eventually you letthe noise get to you, you let
the sound start becoming yourreality.
(21:35):
When you lie to yourself andsay you know what?
I'm not good enough, I'm notpretty enough, I'm not handsome
enough Can you tell yourselfthose things, you're betraying
yourself.
You know I've seen this justone too many times in the past
couple of months.
You know, I see individualsthat are extremely intelligent
(21:56):
and I hear them callingthemselves stupid.
I see pretty people that aresaying that you know they wish
they could change this aboutthemselves and that about
themselves, and not realizingthat they're perfect just the
way they are.
And when you keep lying toyourself, you know that is truly
(22:17):
betraying yourself.
You stop seeing reality, youstop seeing you and you stop
seeing, like, what you reallyhave in front of you.
And there's another quote that Iheard a long time ago and this
was the perspective I got fromit, and the quote was you know,
(22:38):
while you're chasing getting abigger home, there's a person
that just wants a home.
You know, while you're throwingyour food away, there's a
person that just wishes theycould eat.
Keeping up with the Joneses isyou're lying to yourself.
It is you betraying yourselfthat you forget to just
(22:59):
appreciate small things in life.
A house is not a home.
Right, that's something that'sso profound.
Just because you have a house,it doesn't mean you have people
occupying that space.
That makes you feel welcome.
It doesn't mean you get to layyour burdens at the door and
(23:19):
have peace, but yet maybe you gointo the house and you're just
going to be a little bit morecomfortable, but yet maybe you
go into some run down shack andyou get peace there because the
company that you have, somethings truly are priceless.
Kindness is priceless, lovingyourself is priceless, and so
(23:50):
remember that you're amazing.
Remember that you havesomething to offer.
Don't feed into the noise,don't let the sounds of
negativity drown out how trulyspecial you are.
Ultimately, the person thatinspired this episode is a dear
friend of mine, whom I lovewholeheartedly, and she's taught
(24:19):
me so much about strength andresilience and bouncing back
after being betrayed.
Strength like that is somethingthat I strive for, and I hope
that she knows that she's mademe a better person.
I hope that she knows that shetruly is just more than amazing
(24:49):
and she's my hero, becausebetrayal sucks and she's the
epitome of the saying that goesthe world is held together by
the love of a few good people,and I'm happy to say that the
(25:14):
love that she gives is part ofthe reason why the world goes
around and around and around.
I'm truly blessed every time Ithink about the people that I
(25:41):
have in my life and that I havethe things that money can't buy
and that makes me wealthy.
The love that I have makes mewealthy, the joy that I feel in
my heart and soul makes mewealthy.
The amazing relationships Ihave with the people that I have
(26:04):
makes me wealthy Because thosethings are priceless, and you
all are priceless as well, and Ihope that you find that thing
that makes you never betrayyourself.
May you see who you really areand your gifts in every way.
(26:27):
So thank you, thank you all forbeing magnificent and stay true
to who you are, even in themoments where you can't possibly
(26:48):
see the light or you can't seethe calm after the storm.
Sometimes there's a calm beforethe storm, but there's also a
calm after as well.
Just know that, no matter whatseason in life you're in, it's a
season, so it changes andthere's a season for you, even
(27:11):
if you can't see it yet.
If you enjoyed today's content,please like and subscribe for
more.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Take a breath, let's dive in.
Hello and welcome to theMagnificent Ones podcast, where
(00:23):
the motto is let's talk abouteverything, and I truly do love
talking about everything.
You know tonight's topic isabout betrayal and how it comes
in many forms.
But before we get into thetopic, I would like to just take
a moment to say thank you.
Thank you for joining in, thankyou for listening and if you're
(00:44):
a first time, you know alistener, you know welcome.
This channel isn't what it iswithout you guys tuning in and
I'm very honored to haveexperienced the growth that I
have and I'm so grateful and Ilook forward to see where this
(01:04):
year takes.
You know, being in the thirdquarter of the year, I feel so
fulfilled I truly do and thisprogram wouldn't be what it is
without you know all thefeedback, whether it's criticism
or just a congratulatory, youknow conversation or comment.
(01:25):
I just want to say thank yousincerely and as the channel
grows, you know I look forwardto seeing where this journey
takes me and takes you all aswell.
It is a privilege to be able tohave an idea in your head and
(01:46):
to watch that idea come to life,to materialize.
You know, who would havethought a year ago that you know
things would be going as it isright now?
But the fact is it is, and it'sa testament to both hard work,
to the people who contribute,you know, whether it's it's
(02:10):
Olocron productions that makesthe music in the background, you
know, or people who help withresearch and so many other
things, or the inspiration fromthe conversations that I have in
real life.
This journey is not a journeywithout all of you, and it would
(02:34):
not be good of me to not takethis time to say thank you,
because without you all, thereis no me in this space, and so I
have to always have theattitude of gratitude and to
always say thank you when themoment presents itself.
(02:56):
So this is me taking my breath,taking a deep dive into saying
thank you and just continue.
Thank you for your continuedsupport.
You know you don't have tospend your mornings listening,
or evenings or what have youlistening to my podcast.
There's thousands of otherpodcasts, and so the fact that
(03:18):
you take the time wherever, inwhatever 20 countries or 300 in
something cities that you allare hailing from, you take the
moment to consciously or stumbleupon my podcast and you
continue to listen, and so, forme, 20 countries is a very big
(03:38):
deal.
So, thank you.
And, you know, let's truly takea breath and dive in.
Let's talk about thisconventional topic of betrayal
in an unconventional way, andI'll share my personal
experience with the topic aswell, as you know some things
(03:59):
that I've studied and learnedthroughout the years.
So let's dive in, guys and, asalways, be magnificent.
You know, betrayal is such ahard topic to cover because it's
one of those things where Idon't know if I wanted to take a
more analytical approach or amore feelings-based approach to
(04:27):
this episode.
So maybe I'm trying to find thebalance between the two.
I'm conflicted in that way, andso I want to start off with
forms of betrayal, and the firstthing that came to mind was
betrayal of confidence.
You know there's people outthere sometimes that will.
(04:53):
You tell them things aboutyourself.
You tell them things aboutyourself.
Maybe you confide in them yourinsecurities and then all of
your weaknesses, only to havethem use that against you in
your moment of weakness, andmaybe they use that as a means
(05:13):
to manipulate you or what haveyou.
But you know, I've seen it.
I haven't had that experiencepersonally, but I've seen it
happen to other people growingup and I never understood it on
either ends, because a lot oftimes in those toxic
(05:33):
relationships, both partiesremain in that relationship,
whether it's a friendship or aromantic, you know relationship,
and so and I, like I said, Ihaven't directly dealt with that
, but I wanted to go into it inany way because it's still
(05:54):
important and I've had a closeencounter with that personally,
and it was with podcasting.
Ironically, there was aprofessor that I was working
with and I wanted to get apodcast up and going, and I had
an idea that I wanted to do andthis professor decided to take
(06:20):
my podcasting idea and run withit and did not, you know, tell
me that they were doing this orthat they were going to start a
you know another podcasting, youknow program, and so they
completely stole, like my notes,everything, and you know,
(06:43):
didn't say anything to me aboutit and you know they built up a
catalog of all of ourconversations and my ideas and
how I wanted to execute thepodcast.
And, long story short, whenyou're the original creator of
an idea, whether it's art,literature, you can always
(07:05):
create more ideas regardless,which is good, because you
didn't steal those ideas,they're yours.
And so for this individual totake my idea they didn't
necessarily and my actual workitself they didn't know what
thoughts I had in my head,because we didn't talk about the
(07:27):
thoughts of hey, I could seethis being a potential problem
down the line, you know, becauseit was usury.
Someone saw an opportunity totake something and they did, and
that happens in life, and Idecided that I was never going
to confront this person about it.
And the reason being is becauseI was using this person as my
(07:52):
research guinea pig to see thepitfalls in my ideas, the holes
in my ideas, and I got to watchit play out in real time.
It did sting knowing that thisperson did lie to me and did
steal my work, but at the end ofthe day, I could always prove
(08:14):
that the person stole my work.
But I did not want to stake myreputation on an idea that was
not fully flushed out or fullyknow how things would play out,
and so this person provided mewith live data of what was wrong
with my ideas, as well as theexecution.
(08:35):
So I learned how not to docertain things, how not to say
certain things, how to phrasethings so that I could engage in
a way in which, no matter whatdemographic you are, there's
something here for you.
So that's how I handled that.
And you'll notice, a constanttheme in my life is that a lot
(08:57):
of times, unless someone isbeing an immediate danger to
myself or those around me, Idon't act on emotion.
So I do pretend like I don'tknow that someone screwed me
over or that I don't know thatwhat's going on.
But I like to pretend that I'mignorant in that way, because
(09:23):
the amount of energy that I haveto pour into fighting someone
or arguing someone to me it'snot worth it.
It's a headache.
I have better things to do withmy time.
So I never really engage thingslike that.
You know it doesn't really leadanyone in a way that is
beneficial to anyone in the end.
So for me, confrontation has to, is probably will take on more
(09:48):
of a physical form, in that Ihave to defend myself in a
physical manner.
And so long as I don't have todefend myself in a physical
manner, because I'll handle thatright, then and there then it's
okay to just let the personsteal because at the end of the
day, you know there's not muchto say, you know, there's the
person is who they are, you know, and that doesn't need an
(10:11):
explanation.
If someone made a decision tobetray you, you know, you don't
truly need an explanation as towhy they just betrayed you, you
know, and to me the why isn'treally important, it's just the
fact that they did what they did, you know.
With that being said, you know,I'd like to talk about just
deception and misleading.
(10:31):
You know, like there's peopleout there that they just want to
see chaos and they don't carewho pays the price for that
chaos.
I remember, a years ago, I had,you know, a neighbor of mine,
you know, and we became really,really good friends and this was
(10:54):
also around the time that itstarted dating my wife.
And you know, I didn't realizeat the time that he, you know,
he hated my wife, you know, ormy girlfriend at the time, and
he kind of felt that my wife wastaking his in his place because
we had this routine where wehung out every single day and
(11:16):
that became, hey, man, sorry, wecan't hang out today, I'm going
on a date, you know, and so Iguess, and my parents were going
through divorce at the timesimultaneously, and I canceled
on a date with my girlfriend,which is my wife at the time,
and I canceled on his birthdayparty because, you know, just a
(11:38):
lot of things were going on atonce and so, you know, he used
that as an opportunity to try tocreate a wedge between, you
know, my girlfriend and I.
And he said to me he's like hey, man, you know, your girlfriend
came to my party and he camewith another guy and what have
(11:59):
you.
And because he's my really,really good friend, I could not
even fathom that he would lie.
And you know, and it was, itwas a lie.
And so I literally did notspeak to my girlfriend you know,
I guess ex-girlfriend for anentire year because of that
(12:22):
entire debacle.
And you know, I neverconfronted him about it and I
told my wife, I said there's noneed for me to confront him
about it because every day thatwe're together it's him
wondering if you know, if welike talked about it or hashed
things out, you know, or if welike found out that it was him,
(12:44):
you know, and he gets to liveinto that prism.
I never confronted him about itand she never confronted him
about it Because, again, he knewwhat he did and, regardless of
his reasoning, he still didsomething that was gonna cause
harm to both of us and he did so.
(13:04):
I don't need an explanation, Idon't need an apology.
It's just that once you cross acertain line, you know we just
move on and you no longer.
I mourn the loss of thatfriendship, but I don't dwell on
it and I just keep movingforward.
And I think a lot of people canlearn from that is that when
(13:25):
someone doesn't have your bestinterests at heart, you don't
need to know why.
You know sometimes it's okay tojust move on and move forward.
And the closure isn't you'renever gonna get the closure from
the person's words.
You get the closure fromaccepting the situation for what
(13:45):
it is and moving on.
The processing of thatinformation, the processing of
the loss of that friendship, isyour closure.
That's the truth.
Time does heal wounds and eachdate hurts a little less.
But you can't do that if you'reconstantly, you know, fighting
(14:09):
with a person for an answer thatthey may not even give you, the
true, the answer that you want,and that's the thing.
The answer that you want isn'tthe answer that you're going to
get in most situations, becausethe answer that we want, that's
our ego talking the.
It was an accident, it won'thappen again.
(14:30):
That's our ego that wants tohear that.
And that's that's just what itis.
If you take your ego out of thesituation as well, you learn
that sometimes you just walkaway because something just
isn't for you.
Not everything is for us.
You know, I recall a great quote.
(14:52):
It said that not everyone youfight is your enemy and not
everyone that you love is yourfriend.
And that quote it I think.
I don't remember, I think itmight have been Mike Tyson, that
that's that said that and it'ssomething that rings in my head
(15:16):
whenever I experience certainthings and I and I'm like, okay,
it's one of those situationswhere this person that's my
enemy.
Yes, we're, we're, we'recompeting against each other,
but we're not enemies, we'rejust, it's just competition.
And there's the man I love youand that person is the one
stabbing me in the back theentire time.
(15:38):
I have to move forward and andjust accept it.
Like I said, I'm more in theloss of that friendship, Because
it's all that we can do.
You know, like we can't controlthe past, we can't control time
, we can't even control ouremotions.
In our emotions they fluctuate.
But what we can't control ishow we handle the situation.
(15:59):
What can we logically handle oremotionally handle?
What can we actually do?
Walking away is something youcan walk away from a
relationship that's toxic.
You can walk away from afriendship that is manipulative
in nature.
You can walk away from toxic.
(16:20):
It sucks because sometimes it'sall any of us know.
You know, I was thinking about aconcept the other day that
really had my mind blown, whichwas sometimes you could come
from the perfect home, aperfectly loving home, and that
perfectly loving home may notprepare you for the world that's
(16:40):
actually out there the doggydog, the, the back stabbing, the
, the slandering of, of, ofpeople's character and name.
You know, because in a lovinghome maybe you know people.
You know if you're religious,then you're, you're, you're,
you're taught turn the othercheek or you don't know what
(17:02):
gossip is.
You've read about it in a book,you've seen it in TV shows, but
you know your family isn't that.
You go out into the world andyou learn how nasty people can
be and it's like you're just notprepared for that.
I was that kid, I, I, you know Iwas not prepared for the world
and I mean I had a stable, youknow family until my parents,
(17:23):
you know, divorced and whatnot.
And the divorce while I was incollege.
So I was an adult, so I hadstability, I had love, I had
attention, affection, I couldcommunicate anything that I
wanted with my parents, I couldtalk to my parents, and because
I could do those things, it mademe very trusting of the world.
(17:47):
So if perfect example would bewhen I was younger, if someone
was like, hey, I need money, Iwould assume that anytime
someone asked me for money, itwas always like a truthful
situation, like it was theytruly needed the money for X, y,
z or what have you.
(18:07):
And when you come to that pointwhere you realize that not
everyone's being honest with you, you're like there's no way.
This person said that theirparents were in the hospital and
so they needed to borrow somemoney.
And then you find out that it'sa lie and the person really
just wanted to buy tickets for aconcert or something and you
would have given them money tothem anyway.
(18:28):
But you have to learn thatlesson, and so the life taught
me a lot of lessons aboutbetrayal, because I didn't have
to deal with those situations, Ididn't have to deal with that
kind of negativity, but I had togain the experience in the real
world of having gone through itand it sucked.
(18:50):
But at the same time, I'm happybecause now I get to talk about
it in a podcast years later orwhat have you.
One of the things that I'mpersonally working on now is
learning that, even though thesesituations take place, I don't
(19:16):
have to allow it, because, evenif I don't necessarily say
something to the individual thatdoes something against me, I
don't want it to occupy mymental real estate.
I don't want it to impede mythoughts and my positivity in
how I flow in my life andnavigate my daily situations.
(19:37):
That's what I'm working onright now, because I mean,
whether it's professionally, ofcourse there's people who tried
to create roadblocks for you,and that's just the reality of
things and I've had to learnthis.
Of course there's people that'sgonna take credit for your work
.
These things happen and I'velearned that what is mine is
(20:01):
mine, and those are things thatno one can take away for me.
That's something that I alittle model that I've been
working on.
I think that would go reallywell on a shirt.
What is mine is mine.
You can steal my idea, but atthe end of the day, it's my idea
, it is my brainchild and assuch, you can only talk about it
(20:24):
in so many ways until it'srevealed that that's not yours.
That just is what it is, and soif I were to take the time and
energy to fight every battle ofbetrayal, I wouldn't have energy
left to be standing tall.
I'd be depleted.
Let's just face it.
(20:46):
Staying up late night afternight with small children that
don't like to sleep sometimes Idon't have the energy for that
and I'm not gonna invest energyinto negativity.
The world already has enoughchaos and negativity and I don't
wanna contribute to it.
It's just not my thing.
(21:11):
But through it all, I feel theworst form of betrayal that
exists is the betrayal ofyourself, is when you know who
you are and eventually you letthe noise get to you, you let
the sound start becoming yourreality.
(21:35):
When you lie to yourself andsay you know what?
I'm not good enough, I'm notpretty enough, I'm not handsome
enough Can you tell yourselfthose things, you're betraying
yourself.
You know I've seen this justone too many times in the past
couple of months.
You know, I see individualsthat are extremely intelligent
(21:56):
and I hear them callingthemselves stupid.
I see pretty people that aresaying that you know they wish
they could change this aboutthemselves and that about
themselves, and not realizingthat they're perfect just the
way they are.
And when you keep lying toyourself, you know that is truly
(22:17):
betraying yourself.
You stop seeing reality, youstop seeing you and you stop
seeing, like, what you reallyhave in front of you.
And there's another quote that Iheard a long time ago and this
was the perspective I got fromit, and the quote was you know,
(22:38):
while you're chasing getting abigger home, there's a person
that just wants a home.
You know, while you're throwingyour food away, there's a
person that just wishes theycould eat.
Keeping up with the Joneses isyou're lying to yourself.
It is you betraying yourselfthat you forget to just
(22:59):
appreciate small things in life.
A house is not a home.
Right, that's something that'sso profound.
Just because you have a house,it doesn't mean you have people
occupying that space.
That makes you feel welcome.
It doesn't mean you get to layyour burdens at the door and
(23:19):
have peace, but yet maybe you gointo the house and you're just
going to be a little bit morecomfortable, but yet maybe you
go into some run down shack andyou get peace there because the
company that you have, somethings truly are priceless.
Kindness is priceless, lovingyourself is priceless, and so
(23:50):
remember that you're amazing.
Remember that you havesomething to offer.
Don't feed into the noise,don't let the sounds of
negativity drown out how trulyspecial you are.
Ultimately, the person thatinspired this episode is a dear
friend of mine, whom I lovewholeheartedly, and she's taught
(24:19):
me so much about strength andresilience and bouncing back
after being betrayed.
Strength like that is somethingthat I strive for, and I hope
that she knows that she's mademe a better person.
I hope that she knows that shetruly is just more than amazing
(24:49):
and she's my hero, becausebetrayal sucks and she's the
epitome of the saying that goesthe world is held together by
the love of a few good people,and I'm happy to say that the
(25:14):
love that she gives is part ofthe reason why the world goes
around and around and around.
I'm truly blessed every time Ithink about the people that I
(25:41):
have in my life and that I havethe things that money can't buy
and that makes me wealthy.
The love that I have makes mewealthy, the joy that I feel in
my heart and soul makes mewealthy.
The amazing relationships Ihave with the people that I have
(26:04):
makes me wealthy Because thosethings are priceless, and you
all are priceless as well, and Ihope that you find that thing
that makes you never betrayyourself.
May you see who you really areand your gifts in every way.
(26:27):
So thank you, thank you all forbeing magnificent and stay true
to who you are, even in themoments where you can't possibly
(26:48):
see the light or you can't seethe calm after the storm.
Sometimes there's a calm beforethe storm, but there's also a
calm after as well.
Just know that, no matter whatseason in life you're in, it's a
season, so it changes andthere's a season for you, even
(27:11):
if you can't see it yet.
If you enjoyed today's content,please like and subscribe for
more.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!