January 3, 2024 • 28 mins
In this episode, we offer a simple exercise to choose a single, guiding word for the new year. This is a powerful exercise that I (Jill) have done for more than a decade and serves as an anchor focus to guide your steps throughout the year.
Mama Judy also offers an innovative approach to adapting this exercise. She reveals how to leverage it as a tool for evaluating and enhancing your artistic practices, helping to identify what's flourishing and what needs rethinking.
We hope this episode guides you in finding YOUR word for the year! And when it does, we'd love to hear from you (leave us a comment on YouTube or Instagram).
If you'd prefer to watch this podcast, you can find us over on our YouTube page (The Mama Judy & Jill Podcast).
We'd LOVE to hear from you! Click here to send us your thoughts and ideas for a future episode.
Send us a direct message on Instagram:
>> Mama Judy on Instagram
>>Jill on Instagram
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh good, you made it.
We are so glad you're here.
Welcome to the Mama Judy andJill podcast, an
intergenerational chat aboutlife, art and the creative
process.
I'm your host, Jill, andjoining me is my wonderful
co-host and bonus mom, Mama Judy.
Let's get started.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hi everyone and happy new year.
If you are just listening tothis, we are publishing the
first Wednesday of 2024 andwe're so glad that you're here.
Hi, mama Judy.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Hi Jill, here we go with a brand new year with all
kinds of possibilities.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Oh, yes, I love that.
Well, today we decided that wewere going to talk about.
You may be familiar with thisconcept about choosing a word
for the year.
This is something that's beenaround for a while.
I've been doing it at least for10 years, mama Judy, and I've
talked about it being called afocus, perhaps, but really, when
I say a word for the year,basically what this does this
(00:58):
process is it helps guide you inintentional living, intentional
creativity.
It helps gives you a focus forthe year, and so it's just a fun
process to get going.
A lot of people do new year'sresolutions right, and so that's
great if you like to do that,mama Judy, and I don't choose to
do new year's resolutions asmuch as something like this
(01:20):
exercise you know, jill, that'sand the reason that I don't like
new year's resolutions.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
it sets you up for disappointment if you don't do
them and of course we all knowwe want to lose the 10 pounds.
All the typical new year'sresolutions, and they're too to
me, they're too constricting.
So, as you mentioned, the wordfocus, that's a broad thing.
(01:50):
I can do that in many ways If Ichoose a word to make that the
focus of my year.
That allows me more flexibility.
That allows me to find thatword everywhere.
It's not tied to a specific act.
That's why I started focusingon something rather than sitting
(02:15):
down and writing out my 10 newyear's resolutions.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Right, and as I was doing this exercise, I actually
did this exercise that I doevery year today, this morning,
before we decide to podcast,because I wanted to have that
fresh in my mind.
And what you just said is, andI'll walk everyone through an
exercise, it's really fun, itdoesn't take that long.
But what I found was just likeyou said, when I came up with my
(02:40):
word, I then thought how it canaffect this part of my life or
this part of it.
You know different ways tothink about it and I'll talk
about that when we come to thatpart of the exercise, but it
really does give you a lot offreedom, but a very powerful
intentionality I love the wordintentionality and tension.
All right, so I'm going to, I'mgoing to walk everyone through
(03:02):
the exercise and, mama Judy, youjust ask questions as they come
, if they come, because you knowI'm so familiar with this.
It's a very simple exercise.
I'm going to just show a littlebasic thing that I want you to
sketch out on a piece of paper.
So get your journal out.
It could be a piece of computerpaper, whatever you want, and
this is a really easy and funway to do choosing a word for
(03:23):
the year.
So you get a piece of paper out, you're going to draw one big
square on your piece of paperand then you're going to make it
into four quadrants, so, okay,one big square in the middle of
your sheet and then draw, youknow, like a cross through the
middle.
So you have four little squaresinside your big square, right,
(03:44):
okay, and on your page, leave alittle room around the border of
the paper so that you have someroom to write outside this box.
Okay, and I'm going to tell youwhat to write inside these
boxes.
But a big part of this, achoosing a word, is reflection
on what happened before.
If you're looking at a calendaryear, you're going to reflect
(04:04):
back on what happened last yearthe good, the not so good, the
bad.
You're going to do a lot ofreflecting because that's going
to inform how you want to moveforward.
Ooh, all right, okay.
So your first thing is to sitdown and what we're going to
reflect on and these are thewords you're going to write
inside each of these foursquares what worked, okay, in
(04:27):
one little box, what didn't workfor another box and I wrote the
word more here what you wantmore of and what you want less
of.
Oh, I like that.
Okay, very simple and clear.
I think this whole exercisethis morning you could sit and
do it for an hour, but I thinkthis probably the whole exercise
to come up with my word todayprobably took me no more than 30
(04:48):
minutes.
Now, in years past I may havehad to think more about it, but
for whatever reason, I've alsofine tuned this exercise that it
feels like it pulls it out ofme better than it has in years
past.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
So you sit.
Jill that's a good point toremind people.
If this is their first time, itmight take them a little while
and be okay with that.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Because it's something new.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Right and I've even done it in years past where I've
had to sleep on.
It came back.
But don't put so muchimportance on choosing the right
word that you freeze and youcan't make a decision, because
it's kind of a big commitment tochoose a word for the year and
so you kind of freeze.
And what happened?
Maybe I think this was aboutsix or seven years ago I chose a
word, felt really good about it.
(05:34):
Three weeks in I was like I hatethat word, I don't want that
word anymore, so I changed it,and that is okay to do it.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Oh good, I'm glad you brought that up so that again,
what we don't want to do is getourselves into a box that then
we feel horrible if we can'tlive up to whatever we've told
ourselves we're going to do.
Right, we want to set us all upfor fun and success.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yes, exactly, and I wrote some things down.
So I'm going to use someexamples, because I did this
exercise, not everything, butjust to help as I describe this.
So you just sit down and youlook in your box and so I first
started working through whatworked and so a few things, and
I just write words or littlephrases.
Here are a few things that whatworked for me in 2023.
(06:26):
Okay, okay, speaking up,therapy, podcasting with mom and
Judy, choosing me over everyoneelse, good Creative expression,
book club reading Okay, sothat's just to give the listener
some ideas of what it could be.
It could be gardening, walkingmy dogs, going for a swim,
(06:49):
whatever.
That might be what worked.
So next, I just moved right overwhat didn't work.
So when you sit down and you'rethinking about this, there are
going to be things that come tomind that you're just like oh, I
hated when that happened orthat was so uncomfortable.
I never want to do that again.
So just a couple.
I mean I have a little bitlonger list, but over committing
that didn't work.
(07:09):
I over committed myself toomuch and I got burned out on a
few things.
Being less creative in thekitchen that didn't work for me.
I found that I was spread alittle too thin, that I wasn't
being creative in the kitchen asmuch, I did not cook as much as
I normally do last year, andthat didn't work.
And you love to cook, I love tocook, yes.
So what worked and what didn'twork?
Off the top of your head, mamaJudy?
(07:31):
Okay, I didn't tell you I wasgoing to do this, but can you
think of a couple examples,maybe one or two that might pop
in for you, for both of thoseboxes?
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Yes.
Well, at least on the one that,what works.
And this is a wonderfulexercise that you do.
And, I'll be honest, I probablywon't do the exercise.
And here's why, friends, Ithink about these kinds of
things all the time.
So I probably won't go throughthe formal process, although I
(08:05):
think it's a phenomenal process.
But, as you were talking, whatworked for me was the word yes.
Remember last year I told youmy focus word was yes, it worked
great.
I had, I had, several newthings come my way that perhaps
(08:25):
in the past, with my resistance,I would have said no to.
So that worked very well.
I'm trying to think on theother side.
To be honest, I can't come upwith something that didn't work.
Okay, but let me put a few morewords.
(08:46):
With that Part of it is I'mretired, I'm not working, I'm
doing pretty much what I love todo, so I'm not in an
environment very often thatmaybe would cause these things
to come up.
So I don't want to take away inany way from people doing that
process just because I can'tcome up with something off the
(09:11):
top of my head Well, and Iremember in years past.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
So this is just an example and you may come up with
something, but it's fine if youdon't like, that's a beautiful
thing.
But I remember in years pastyou were kind of over committing
to some stuff and I think youwere even teaching some
workshops and you realized I amtoo many hours teaching.
It was burning you out, causingyou to have like a little bit
of health problems and that sortof thing.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Absolutely and actually, Jill, that's a good
point, A part of what you hadput down on the what didn't work
.
I've already gone through thatand gotten rid of them.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
So yes, over the years I've done that.
I just didn't know.
I didn't know you had anexercise.
You could do it and put it onpaper, yeah, and I think it's
just great, and in fact I amgoing to take that exercise and
put it by my creative desk.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
I'm going to use that particular exercise because I
already have my focus for 2024.
I'm going to take your exerciseand I'm going to put it beside
my creative desk and I'm goingto fill it out as I'm creating,
because there are things Ididn't like in the creative
(10:29):
process that didn't work.
There are things that I love,so I think it'll be really
interesting to do that as I'mcreating.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Just an ongoing thing .
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I love it too.
An ongoing thing.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yes, I'm going to do that as well.
That's really great.
Okay, so we've got two moreboxes right within our little
sheet that we drew, so the lowerboxes are what do you want more
of?
So we've reflected what worked,what didn't work.
What do we want more of nowgoing forward?
What do we want less of?
So obviously, some of thosethings kind of just tie in.
(11:02):
So this again is a pretty quickexercise.
But what do I want more of?
I just put exercise andstrength.
I need to be building bonedensity, muscle.
I want more of that kind ofstuff, even though I do some.
I want more.
I want more time at focus, timewith God, that's something that
(11:22):
I like let go a little bit, andI'm not happy about that.
So I want more easy, relaxing,special travel.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
That's an oxymoron travel and relaxing.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
That's why I had to put it that way, though, because
I thought I don't want moretravel, but I do want some
special travel, but that'srelaxing.
So it's got to be easy andsimple and not too complicated.
That was important to me, evenif that's a trip to Brevard,
which is like an hour away no,that's perfect.
Yeah, and then the less.
(11:57):
What do I want?
Less of Overthinking.
There were a couple things.
I actually this is slightlyembarrassing, but I'll say one
more thing.
I have a little tendency to askWilliam, my husband, william,
do you want to do XYZ orwhatever?
And he'll give me an answer,and then I'll start going well,
(12:19):
but I mean, what if we did?
But this could be cool if wedid it this way, and how about?
Well, wouldn't it be neat to dothis?
And so I basically take hisanswer.
He just gave me turn it around,and we're doing something he
didn't want to do, but he goesahead and does it.
I'm not doing that anymore.
I'm not.
I'm going to do less of that,okay.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
That's great Overselling.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yes, well, overselling and just like taking
somebody's answer and turningit around like that's not
respectful, I feel like to himand I mean I don't do it that
often, but it is something thatI've noticed.
I do.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
That's a very good point to.
If someone doesn't want to dowhat you want to do, respect
that and let it go.
Don't try to convince them todo it.
Maybe because we all do that.
Maybe, if it's important, I'lltell you what.
Let me step back.
What we do is we delineate, isit important?
(13:11):
So when I go to ask forsomething, I'll tell you what I
mean.
If I only want one answer, thenI try to delineate out how
important the right answer is.
Like, for example, jill, if Iwere asking you to go on a ski
trip and you don't like skiing,I would say something like you
(13:34):
know, it's really important forme for us to go skiing together.
Now I've told you somethingthat if I just said, do you want
to go skiing?
Isn't there what you knowbefore you make an answer?
This is something that is veryimportant to that person.
Oh, that's powerful.
I kind of got us off on adifferent rabbit hole.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
You just gave me a little therapy, but that's help
for my marriage.
So, william, thank you Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Okay, so next Jill, but that could go to mine.
What I would like more of ismore clear, concise
communication With who you are,such a clear, concise
communicator With everybody.
Okay With.
Communication is a verydifficult thing with people
(14:27):
because everything is processedthrough our own experiences, our
own personality.
I want to get a little sharperon communicating more concisely
and clearer, Okay so.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Good, more of that.
I love that.
Okay, okay, all right.
So any other thoughts on thatbefore we move on to the next
part?
No, okay.
So, again, I'm just showing thison YouTube, but it's a little
four squares here.
You're going to now have allthese little notes jotted down
inside this paper Now, aroundthe edges.
This is where you just let thewords come to you.
(15:03):
What kind of words are youfeeling, based on what you just
reflected on and what your goalsand your aspirations and what
your intention is for the year?
What are the words that come toyour mind?
Let them come freely and do notedit it.
So you just start writingaround this whole box.
You just write words, writewords.
Even if I was writing, I wrote acouple words earlier today and
(15:24):
right off the bat I just wantedto, like, erase it.
No, just leave it, because youdon't have to use it.
So you just write all thesewords that come to your mind and
you know so it could beintention, trust, let's, let's
throw out a few words thatpeople like I've used in the
past.
I've had the word clarity, joy,one year.
Intention was one year.
(15:45):
Oh, trust, I've heard that wordfrom many people.
So, again, just let the wordscome.
So I'm going to go ahead andthrow out my little list and I'm
going to read them all, becausethere's not that many, because
I felt pretty strongly aboutthese and it's not like you're
going to have a hundred words.
Most likely, I think I haveprobably 10 here or something.
So I had the word explore.
Okay, mental, evolve, trust,impactful, bold, meaningful and
(16:12):
mentor Okay, so those were mywords.
Okay, you got your words outthere.
Now I had the words on the page.
I then looked at them and if,if, something just was like nope
, that's not your word.
I immediately crossed them out.
So you put an X through themand you just cross them out.
You're eliminating words thatdon't fit for you.
Now it came down to a couple ofwords for me, and your next part
of your exercise is if youchoose a word I'm this is not
(16:35):
the word I chose this year, butI'm going to choose it.
To give for the example, let'ssay I really like this word
trust, but I want to explore ita little more.
So I would encourage you to geta dictionary out.
Look up the word trust, read it.
Does it really resonate withyou?
There may even be somethingwithin the definition.
You might pull a different wordout, or it'll really make you
(16:56):
feel more strongly about thatword, or you might think, well,
I think there's a better word todescribe that and so just like,
let it be a fun little wordexercise.
The other thing you can do islooking at the aesaurus.
So if you find a word and itjust doesn't feel great like the
word I chose for the year whichI'll tell you in a moment I
chose and I didn't love it atfirst.
So I went to my aesaurus andjust the word felt hard and I'll
(17:20):
tell you why.
In a second I still ended uplanding on it better.
So that's part of the process.
It's fun, just play around withthe word until you find the
word that feels good to you.
So any questions on that so far, mama Judy.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
No, actually that's a great process and as you were
talking, I realized that in myown informal way.
I kind of do that naturally,Because, again, maybe I should
put down, I don't think so much,but I'm always thinking of
these kinds of things as I gothroughout the day.
(17:57):
It's just my personality or myconsciousness, awareness level,
and so I realize that much ofwhat you've talked about I've
kind of skirted the edge.
You just what you did is yougave people a tool that they can
sit down and use, if this issomething they haven't done
(18:17):
before.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Right.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
I chose my word already, and when we're ready to
reveal our words, I'll give youthe background on why I chose
it.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Okay, and when I was doing the exercise today, I was
actually thinking this doesn'tseem like Mama Judy's gonna
wanna do this exercise.
I literally thought that today.
But I thought it's because youare a deep thinker and you are.
You're always reflecting.
You've even said that on otherpodcast episodes.
You've always just kind ofmentioned, like, I do a lot of
reflection in my daily life andyou do a lot of this.
(18:50):
So this is you're right.
This is just running in thebackground for you at all times.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
It is, it truly is.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, yeah, okay.
So I chose my word for the yearand it still seems it sounds
hard.
You know how a word can feellike it has hard edges or it can
feel soft, like the word.
I didn't choose this, but theword gentle is like a nice word
and even joy and stuff.
I chose the word bold and itfeels kind of hard, but what
(19:17):
made me feel really good aboutit?
And I did the thesaurus and Idid the whole dictionary, but
what?
And I came up with likefearless, confident, you know,
like some of those things, butbold just seems to fit.
And then because and because Iwas still feeling like, well,
this is, it sounds kind of hard.
What I did and I would suggestyou do this regardless is well,
(19:41):
bold in what Cause?
I think bold just sounded likeI'm gonna come running through
like a bull in a China shop orsomething, which is not me at
all and it's not my intentioneither.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
When you do that, when you run through China shop,
be sure, and video it for us.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Okay, yes, I will.
So what I did with that feelingand whether I'd chosen that
word and wanted to work throughit a little bit more or not,
here's the next step of theexercise, and the final part of
the exercise is where do I wantto be bold?
And so I wrote in my decisions,in my choices, in my creativity
, in my professional life, in myfriendships, in my health, in
(20:22):
my impact, in my boundaries, inloving people and in protecting
people.
And then, when I wrote that out, I felt like I love this word.
This feels so good, but I hadto kind of unpack it to make it
not seem like this kind of big,aggressive thing.
It's not at all.
It's a very loving, full oflife, confident word for me.
(20:46):
So that's my word for the year.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
That's perfect.
That is a beautiful process.
Before I tell you my verysimple process, when you were
talking about how some words canfeel harsh or soft, if you just
look at the word gentle andbold, just the letters alone
(21:09):
convey that, because the G forgentle is very soft and round
and it goes down.
The B for bold is very straight.
It ends on a very straight D.
So, yes, there is a reason.
We absorb that visually toowhen we look at those words.
(21:30):
That's how we get some of thatfeeling.
So, to get past that, whichhappens without even thinking
about it, your process, yourexercise is perfect.
I think that's beautiful.
Good, I like it.
Yes, I do too.
(21:51):
I'm going to choose your wordand steal it in my creativity,
because I do need to go outbeyond my comfort zone.
So, yes, I'm going to take yourword and just borrow it around
the edges.
Okay, love it and you can borrowmine, all right.
All right, I do yoga, I do allkinds of things to keep my body
(22:14):
supple as it ages.
Flexible.
Last year I chose the word yesbecause I realized there were
times I was disavowing anopportunity because I was
automatically going to the wordno.
So I looked around and Ithought I loved what happened to
(22:36):
me by saying yes, how can Iexpand that?
And it occurred to me as I'mlaying in the middle of the yoga
mat in a yoga class going youcan be more flexible.
So flexibility is my word, myfocus.
(22:57):
Flexibility in my bottle Maybethat's telling me something
Flexibility in my body,flexibility in my mind,
flexibility in my creativity.
So we kind of both did the sameway in our own way yes.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
And do you think, mama Judy, obviously it came
from having your year of yes,but do you think if you'd chosen
a different word, would youhave come to this word flexible?
Or do you feel like you had togo through the yes, all the
different great yeses, and tocome to this word?
I'm curious.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
I think I had to go to yes first, because yes was a
huge shift.
I didn't even realize that myfirst response to a lot of
things, especially new andunknown things.
See, we're going way back towhat we talked about before fear
of the unknown.
(24:01):
It's all subconscious.
I was putting up resistance toideas and it was actually Mac,
your dad, that pointed out.
Do you realize?
You say no before yes, and itnever occurred to me and I
thought, ooh, let's choose yes.
(24:22):
So I had to go through the yesRight.
Yes was my portal.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Ooh, I love that, a portal.
And when you said dad wassaying you say no so often in
this exercise, if you'relistening and that could be one
of the things that you would putin the box what didn't work, I
said no too often, right?
And so what do I more in themore column?
What do I want more of?
I want more yes, opportunity,that sort of thing.
And I love how we came to it indifferent ways.
(24:49):
Agree, I am such an exercisetype person.
I love doing worksheets and allthat but the way that you came
about it, just so very naturally, but very thoughtful, and
you've probably you spent waymore time thinking about it than
I did ultimately, because it'slike you just go through day by
day, by day.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
And at night.
Yes, and that's good, jill, andI think what we have also shown
in the way we've approachedthings and come to the same end
result we each have a focus forthe year.
The important message that thatconveys is you know what Jill
has given you a great tool.
(25:29):
If you have never done thistype of thing, or you are a
person that likes to doexercises, or you can do it like
I do.
In your head, think about it.
All the time battered around,the most important thing is
what's your intention for thisyear?
What do you want to focus on inyour existence?
(25:51):
Because what we focus on in ourart, if it's something like
being bold or flexible, we'llalso carry over into our life,
and vice versa, exactly.
Yes, and again, friends, youdon't have to lose those 15
pounds by riding it on aresolution.
(26:13):
Be flexible and be bold inwhatever you want to do.
Yes, we didn't work those wordsin mom and Judy, I did, didn't.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I I did.
Well, I hope this exercise wasinteresting and fun and I hope
that you all listening will take30 minutes to do this.
It really is fun.
And then, when you do thejournal, what I'm gonna do I
journaled it out on piece ofpaper.
I'm gonna do some sort ofcollage with it, color it up,
put some paint on it or whatever, probably even paint over it,
(26:43):
but we can all use it in ourcollages, our artwork, if we
want to also.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Yes, and, like I said , I'm gonna take that literally,
make that exercise and I'mgonna have it in my art room so
that when I come acrosssomething that I love in the
piece that I've done, I'm gonnawrite it under I Want More Of
with notes.
Well, how did I get that sothat I can repeat what I want
(27:09):
more?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
of Right and just recognizing what you didn't.
You said the process like oh, Ididn't like doing that part,
just recognizing that.
Then you don't have to wasteyour time on that as you're
moving through doing differentprojects.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Yes, so it's very valuable.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yes, Well, thank you all for joining us.
This was fun.
If you do this exercise, wewould love to hear what your
word for the year was.
So let us know in the YouTubecomments or on Instagram.
Really, I would love to hearyour words.
I think it's so interestingjust to hear what people choose.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I do too, jill, and I would like to just reiterate
and reemphasize that we do loveyour feedback, and I've gotten
feedback from people that havegiven it to a friend who then
told me so-and-so loves thisabout your podcast.
Be bold, write it out and tellus what you think.
(28:02):
Yes, that would be wonderful.
All right, everybody Onward,happy New.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Year.
Happy New Year.
All right, love you, Mama Judy.
Love you too.
My dear Talk to you soon.
Bye, Okay.
Oh good, you made it.
We are so glad you're here.
Welcome to the Mama Judy andJill podcast, an
intergenerational chat aboutlife, art and the creative
process.
I'm your host, Jill, andjoining me is my wonderful
co-host and bonus mom, Mama Judy.
Let's get started.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hi everyone and happy new year.
If you are just listening tothis, we are publishing the
first Wednesday of 2024 andwe're so glad that you're here.
Hi, mama Judy.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Hi Jill, here we go with a brand new year with all
kinds of possibilities.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Oh, yes, I love that.
Well, today we decided that wewere going to talk about.
You may be familiar with thisconcept about choosing a word
for the year.
This is something that's beenaround for a while.
I've been doing it at least for10 years, mama Judy, and I've
talked about it being called afocus, perhaps, but really, when
I say a word for the year,basically what this does this
(00:58):
process is it helps guide you inintentional living, intentional
creativity.
It helps gives you a focus forthe year, and so it's just a fun
process to get going.
A lot of people do new year'sresolutions right, and so that's
great if you like to do that,mama Judy, and I don't choose to
do new year's resolutions asmuch as something like this
(01:20):
exercise you know, jill, that'sand the reason that I don't like
new year's resolutions.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
it sets you up for disappointment if you don't do
them and of course we all knowwe want to lose the 10 pounds.
All the typical new year'sresolutions, and they're too to
me, they're too constricting.
So, as you mentioned, the wordfocus, that's a broad thing.
(01:50):
I can do that in many ways If Ichoose a word to make that the
focus of my year.
That allows me more flexibility.
That allows me to find thatword everywhere.
It's not tied to a specific act.
That's why I started focusingon something rather than sitting
(02:15):
down and writing out my 10 newyear's resolutions.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Right, and as I was doing this exercise, I actually
did this exercise that I doevery year today, this morning,
before we decide to podcast,because I wanted to have that
fresh in my mind.
And what you just said is, andI'll walk everyone through an
exercise, it's really fun, itdoesn't take that long.
But what I found was just likeyou said, when I came up with my
(02:40):
word, I then thought how it canaffect this part of my life or
this part of it.
You know different ways tothink about it and I'll talk
about that when we come to thatpart of the exercise, but it
really does give you a lot offreedom, but a very powerful
intentionality I love the wordintentionality and tension.
All right, so I'm going to, I'mgoing to walk everyone through
(03:02):
the exercise and, mama Judy, youjust ask questions as they come
, if they come, because you knowI'm so familiar with this.
It's a very simple exercise.
I'm going to just show a littlebasic thing that I want you to
sketch out on a piece of paper.
So get your journal out.
It could be a piece of computerpaper, whatever you want, and
this is a really easy and funway to do choosing a word for
(03:23):
the year.
So you get a piece of paper out, you're going to draw one big
square on your piece of paperand then you're going to make it
into four quadrants, so, okay,one big square in the middle of
your sheet and then draw, youknow, like a cross through the
middle.
So you have four little squaresinside your big square, right,
(03:44):
okay, and on your page, leave alittle room around the border of
the paper so that you have someroom to write outside this box.
Okay, and I'm going to tell youwhat to write inside these
boxes.
But a big part of this, achoosing a word, is reflection
on what happened before.
If you're looking at a calendaryear, you're going to reflect
(04:04):
back on what happened last yearthe good, the not so good, the
bad.
You're going to do a lot ofreflecting because that's going
to inform how you want to moveforward.
Ooh, all right, okay.
So your first thing is to sitdown and what we're going to
reflect on and these are thewords you're going to write
inside each of these foursquares what worked, okay, in
(04:27):
one little box, what didn't workfor another box and I wrote the
word more here what you wantmore of and what you want less
of.
Oh, I like that.
Okay, very simple and clear.
I think this whole exercisethis morning you could sit and
do it for an hour, but I thinkthis probably the whole exercise
to come up with my word todayprobably took me no more than 30
(04:48):
minutes.
Now, in years past I may havehad to think more about it, but
for whatever reason, I've alsofine tuned this exercise that it
feels like it pulls it out ofme better than it has in years
past.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
So you sit.
Jill that's a good point toremind people.
If this is their first time, itmight take them a little while
and be okay with that.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Because it's something new.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Right and I've even done it in years past where I've
had to sleep on.
It came back.
But don't put so muchimportance on choosing the right
word that you freeze and youcan't make a decision, because
it's kind of a big commitment tochoose a word for the year and
so you kind of freeze.
And what happened?
Maybe I think this was aboutsix or seven years ago I chose a
word, felt really good about it.
(05:34):
Three weeks in I was like I hatethat word, I don't want that
word anymore, so I changed it,and that is okay to do it.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Oh good, I'm glad you brought that up so that again,
what we don't want to do is getourselves into a box that then
we feel horrible if we can'tlive up to whatever we've told
ourselves we're going to do.
Right, we want to set us all upfor fun and success.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yes, exactly, and I wrote some things down.
So I'm going to use someexamples, because I did this
exercise, not everything, butjust to help as I describe this.
So you just sit down and youlook in your box and so I first
started working through whatworked and so a few things, and
I just write words or littlephrases.
Here are a few things that whatworked for me in 2023.
(06:26):
Okay, okay, speaking up,therapy, podcasting with mom and
Judy, choosing me over everyoneelse, good Creative expression,
book club reading Okay, sothat's just to give the listener
some ideas of what it could be.
It could be gardening, walkingmy dogs, going for a swim,
(06:49):
whatever.
That might be what worked.
So next, I just moved right overwhat didn't work.
So when you sit down and you'rethinking about this, there are
going to be things that come tomind that you're just like oh, I
hated when that happened orthat was so uncomfortable.
I never want to do that again.
So just a couple.
I mean I have a little bitlonger list, but over committing
that didn't work.
(07:09):
I over committed myself toomuch and I got burned out on a
few things.
Being less creative in thekitchen that didn't work for me.
I found that I was spread alittle too thin, that I wasn't
being creative in the kitchen asmuch, I did not cook as much as
I normally do last year, andthat didn't work.
And you love to cook, I love tocook, yes.
So what worked and what didn'twork?
Off the top of your head, mamaJudy?
(07:31):
Okay, I didn't tell you I wasgoing to do this, but can you
think of a couple examples,maybe one or two that might pop
in for you, for both of thoseboxes?
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Yes.
Well, at least on the one that,what works.
And this is a wonderfulexercise that you do.
And, I'll be honest, I probablywon't do the exercise.
And here's why, friends, Ithink about these kinds of
things all the time.
So I probably won't go throughthe formal process, although I
(08:05):
think it's a phenomenal process.
But, as you were talking, whatworked for me was the word yes.
Remember last year I told youmy focus word was yes, it worked
great.
I had, I had, several newthings come my way that perhaps
(08:25):
in the past, with my resistance,I would have said no to.
So that worked very well.
I'm trying to think on theother side.
To be honest, I can't come upwith something that didn't work.
Okay, but let me put a few morewords.
(08:46):
With that Part of it is I'mretired, I'm not working, I'm
doing pretty much what I love todo, so I'm not in an
environment very often thatmaybe would cause these things
to come up.
So I don't want to take away inany way from people doing that
process just because I can'tcome up with something off the
(09:11):
top of my head Well, and Iremember in years past.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
So this is just an example and you may come up with
something, but it's fine if youdon't like, that's a beautiful
thing.
But I remember in years pastyou were kind of over committing
to some stuff and I think youwere even teaching some
workshops and you realized I amtoo many hours teaching.
It was burning you out, causingyou to have like a little bit
of health problems and that sortof thing.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Absolutely and actually, Jill, that's a good
point, A part of what you hadput down on the what didn't work
.
I've already gone through thatand gotten rid of them.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
So yes, over the years I've done that.
I just didn't know.
I didn't know you had anexercise.
You could do it and put it onpaper, yeah, and I think it's
just great, and in fact I amgoing to take that exercise and
put it by my creative desk.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
I'm going to use that particular exercise because I
already have my focus for 2024.
I'm going to take your exerciseand I'm going to put it beside
my creative desk and I'm goingto fill it out as I'm creating,
because there are things Ididn't like in the creative
(10:29):
process that didn't work.
There are things that I love,so I think it'll be really
interesting to do that as I'mcreating.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Just an ongoing thing .
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I love it too.
An ongoing thing.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yes, I'm going to do that as well.
That's really great.
Okay, so we've got two moreboxes right within our little
sheet that we drew, so the lowerboxes are what do you want more
of?
So we've reflected what worked,what didn't work.
What do we want more of nowgoing forward?
What do we want less of?
So obviously, some of thosethings kind of just tie in.
(11:02):
So this again is a pretty quickexercise.
But what do I want more of?
I just put exercise andstrength.
I need to be building bonedensity, muscle.
I want more of that kind ofstuff, even though I do some.
I want more.
I want more time at focus, timewith God, that's something that
(11:22):
I like let go a little bit, andI'm not happy about that.
So I want more easy, relaxing,special travel.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
That's an oxymoron travel and relaxing.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
That's why I had to put it that way, though, because
I thought I don't want moretravel, but I do want some
special travel, but that'srelaxing.
So it's got to be easy andsimple and not too complicated.
That was important to me, evenif that's a trip to Brevard,
which is like an hour away no,that's perfect.
Yeah, and then the less.
(11:57):
What do I want?
Less of Overthinking.
There were a couple things.
I actually this is slightlyembarrassing, but I'll say one
more thing.
I have a little tendency to askWilliam, my husband, william,
do you want to do XYZ orwhatever?
And he'll give me an answer,and then I'll start going well,
(12:19):
but I mean, what if we did?
But this could be cool if wedid it this way, and how about?
Well, wouldn't it be neat to dothis?
And so I basically take hisanswer.
He just gave me turn it around,and we're doing something he
didn't want to do, but he goesahead and does it.
I'm not doing that anymore.
I'm not.
I'm going to do less of that,okay.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
That's great Overselling.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yes, well, overselling and just like taking
somebody's answer and turningit around like that's not
respectful, I feel like to himand I mean I don't do it that
often, but it is something thatI've noticed.
I do.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
That's a very good point to.
If someone doesn't want to dowhat you want to do, respect
that and let it go.
Don't try to convince them todo it.
Maybe because we all do that.
Maybe, if it's important, I'lltell you what.
Let me step back.
What we do is we delineate, isit important?
(13:11):
So when I go to ask forsomething, I'll tell you what I
mean.
If I only want one answer, thenI try to delineate out how
important the right answer is.
Like, for example, jill, if Iwere asking you to go on a ski
trip and you don't like skiing,I would say something like you
(13:34):
know, it's really important forme for us to go skiing together.
Now I've told you somethingthat if I just said, do you want
to go skiing?
Isn't there what you knowbefore you make an answer?
This is something that is veryimportant to that person.
Oh, that's powerful.
I kind of got us off on adifferent rabbit hole.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
You just gave me a little therapy, but that's help
for my marriage.
So, william, thank you Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Okay, so next Jill, but that could go to mine.
What I would like more of ismore clear, concise
communication With who you are,such a clear, concise
communicator With everybody.
Okay With.
Communication is a verydifficult thing with people
(14:27):
because everything is processedthrough our own experiences, our
own personality.
I want to get a little sharperon communicating more concisely
and clearer, Okay so.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Good, more of that.
I love that.
Okay, okay, all right.
So any other thoughts on thatbefore we move on to the next
part?
No, okay.
So, again, I'm just showing thison YouTube, but it's a little
four squares here.
You're going to now have allthese little notes jotted down
inside this paper Now, aroundthe edges.
This is where you just let thewords come to you.
(15:03):
What kind of words are youfeeling, based on what you just
reflected on and what your goalsand your aspirations and what
your intention is for the year?
What are the words that come toyour mind?
Let them come freely and do notedit it.
So you just start writingaround this whole box.
You just write words, writewords.
Even if I was writing, I wrote acouple words earlier today and
(15:24):
right off the bat I just wantedto, like, erase it.
No, just leave it, because youdon't have to use it.
So you just write all thesewords that come to your mind and
you know so it could beintention, trust, let's, let's
throw out a few words thatpeople like I've used in the
past.
I've had the word clarity, joy,one year.
Intention was one year.
(15:45):
Oh, trust, I've heard that wordfrom many people.
So, again, just let the wordscome.
So I'm going to go ahead andthrow out my little list and I'm
going to read them all, becausethere's not that many, because
I felt pretty strongly aboutthese and it's not like you're
going to have a hundred words.
Most likely, I think I haveprobably 10 here or something.
So I had the word explore.
Okay, mental, evolve, trust,impactful, bold, meaningful and
(16:12):
mentor Okay, so those were mywords.
Okay, you got your words outthere.
Now I had the words on the page.
I then looked at them and if,if, something just was like nope
, that's not your word.
I immediately crossed them out.
So you put an X through themand you just cross them out.
You're eliminating words thatdon't fit for you.
Now it came down to a couple ofwords for me, and your next part
of your exercise is if youchoose a word I'm this is not
(16:35):
the word I chose this year, butI'm going to choose it.
To give for the example, let'ssay I really like this word
trust, but I want to explore ita little more.
So I would encourage you to geta dictionary out.
Look up the word trust, read it.
Does it really resonate withyou?
There may even be somethingwithin the definition.
You might pull a different wordout, or it'll really make you
(16:56):
feel more strongly about thatword, or you might think, well,
I think there's a better word todescribe that and so just like,
let it be a fun little wordexercise.
The other thing you can do islooking at the aesaurus.
So if you find a word and itjust doesn't feel great like the
word I chose for the year whichI'll tell you in a moment I
chose and I didn't love it atfirst.
So I went to my aesaurus andjust the word felt hard and I'll
(17:20):
tell you why.
In a second I still ended uplanding on it better.
So that's part of the process.
It's fun, just play around withthe word until you find the
word that feels good to you.
So any questions on that so far, mama Judy.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
No, actually that's a great process and as you were
talking, I realized that in myown informal way.
I kind of do that naturally,Because, again, maybe I should
put down, I don't think so much,but I'm always thinking of
these kinds of things as I gothroughout the day.
(17:57):
It's just my personality or myconsciousness, awareness level,
and so I realize that much ofwhat you've talked about I've
kind of skirted the edge.
You just what you did is yougave people a tool that they can
sit down and use, if this issomething they haven't done
(18:17):
before.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Right.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
I chose my word already, and when we're ready to
reveal our words, I'll give youthe background on why I chose
it.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Okay, and when I was doing the exercise today, I was
actually thinking this doesn'tseem like Mama Judy's gonna
wanna do this exercise.
I literally thought that today.
But I thought it's because youare a deep thinker and you are.
You're always reflecting.
You've even said that on otherpodcast episodes.
You've always just kind ofmentioned, like, I do a lot of
reflection in my daily life andyou do a lot of this.
(18:50):
So this is you're right.
This is just running in thebackground for you at all times.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
It is, it truly is.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, yeah, okay.
So I chose my word for the yearand it still seems it sounds
hard.
You know how a word can feellike it has hard edges or it can
feel soft, like the word.
I didn't choose this, but theword gentle is like a nice word
and even joy and stuff.
I chose the word bold and itfeels kind of hard, but what
(19:17):
made me feel really good aboutit?
And I did the thesaurus and Idid the whole dictionary, but
what?
And I came up with likefearless, confident, you know,
like some of those things, butbold just seems to fit.
And then because and because Iwas still feeling like, well,
this is, it sounds kind of hard.
What I did and I would suggestyou do this regardless is well,
(19:41):
bold in what Cause?
I think bold just sounded likeI'm gonna come running through
like a bull in a China shop orsomething, which is not me at
all and it's not my intentioneither.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
When you do that, when you run through China shop,
be sure, and video it for us.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Okay, yes, I will.
So what I did with that feelingand whether I'd chosen that
word and wanted to work throughit a little bit more or not,
here's the next step of theexercise, and the final part of
the exercise is where do I wantto be bold?
And so I wrote in my decisions,in my choices, in my creativity
, in my professional life, in myfriendships, in my health, in
(20:22):
my impact, in my boundaries, inloving people and in protecting
people.
And then, when I wrote that out, I felt like I love this word.
This feels so good, but I hadto kind of unpack it to make it
not seem like this kind of big,aggressive thing.
It's not at all.
It's a very loving, full oflife, confident word for me.
(20:46):
So that's my word for the year.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
That's perfect.
That is a beautiful process.
Before I tell you my verysimple process, when you were
talking about how some words canfeel harsh or soft, if you just
look at the word gentle andbold, just the letters alone
(21:09):
convey that, because the G forgentle is very soft and round
and it goes down.
The B for bold is very straight.
It ends on a very straight D.
So, yes, there is a reason.
We absorb that visually toowhen we look at those words.
(21:30):
That's how we get some of thatfeeling.
So, to get past that, whichhappens without even thinking
about it, your process, yourexercise is perfect.
I think that's beautiful.
Good, I like it.
Yes, I do too.
(21:51):
I'm going to choose your wordand steal it in my creativity,
because I do need to go outbeyond my comfort zone.
So, yes, I'm going to take yourword and just borrow it around
the edges.
Okay, love it and you can borrowmine, all right.
All right, I do yoga, I do allkinds of things to keep my body
(22:14):
supple as it ages.
Flexible.
Last year I chose the word yesbecause I realized there were
times I was disavowing anopportunity because I was
automatically going to the wordno.
So I looked around and Ithought I loved what happened to
(22:36):
me by saying yes, how can Iexpand that?
And it occurred to me as I'mlaying in the middle of the yoga
mat in a yoga class going youcan be more flexible.
So flexibility is my word, myfocus.
(22:57):
Flexibility in my bottle Maybethat's telling me something
Flexibility in my body,flexibility in my mind,
flexibility in my creativity.
So we kind of both did the sameway in our own way yes.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
And do you think, mama Judy, obviously it came
from having your year of yes,but do you think if you'd chosen
a different word, would youhave come to this word flexible?
Or do you feel like you had togo through the yes, all the
different great yeses, and tocome to this word?
I'm curious.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
I think I had to go to yes first, because yes was a
huge shift.
I didn't even realize that myfirst response to a lot of
things, especially new andunknown things.
See, we're going way back towhat we talked about before fear
of the unknown.
(24:01):
It's all subconscious.
I was putting up resistance toideas and it was actually Mac,
your dad, that pointed out.
Do you realize?
You say no before yes, and itnever occurred to me and I
thought, ooh, let's choose yes.
(24:22):
So I had to go through the yesRight.
Yes was my portal.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Ooh, I love that, a portal.
And when you said dad wassaying you say no so often in
this exercise, if you'relistening and that could be one
of the things that you would putin the box what didn't work, I
said no too often, right?
And so what do I more in themore column?
What do I want more of?
I want more yes, opportunity,that sort of thing.
And I love how we came to it indifferent ways.
(24:49):
Agree, I am such an exercisetype person.
I love doing worksheets and allthat but the way that you came
about it, just so very naturally, but very thoughtful, and
you've probably you spent waymore time thinking about it than
I did ultimately, because it'slike you just go through day by
day, by day.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
And at night.
Yes, and that's good, jill, andI think what we have also shown
in the way we've approachedthings and come to the same end
result we each have a focus forthe year.
The important message that thatconveys is you know what Jill
has given you a great tool.
(25:29):
If you have never done thistype of thing, or you are a
person that likes to doexercises, or you can do it like
I do.
In your head, think about it.
All the time battered around,the most important thing is
what's your intention for thisyear?
What do you want to focus on inyour existence?
(25:51):
Because what we focus on in ourart, if it's something like
being bold or flexible, we'llalso carry over into our life,
and vice versa, exactly.
Yes, and again, friends, youdon't have to lose those 15
pounds by riding it on aresolution.
(26:13):
Be flexible and be bold inwhatever you want to do.
Yes, we didn't work those wordsin mom and Judy, I did, didn't.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I I did.
Well, I hope this exercise wasinteresting and fun and I hope
that you all listening will take30 minutes to do this.
It really is fun.
And then, when you do thejournal, what I'm gonna do I
journaled it out on piece ofpaper.
I'm gonna do some sort ofcollage with it, color it up,
put some paint on it or whatever, probably even paint over it,
(26:43):
but we can all use it in ourcollages, our artwork, if we
want to also.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Yes, and, like I said , I'm gonna take that literally,
make that exercise and I'mgonna have it in my art room so
that when I come acrosssomething that I love in the
piece that I've done, I'm gonnawrite it under I Want More Of
with notes.
Well, how did I get that sothat I can repeat what I want
(27:09):
more?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
of Right and just recognizing what you didn't.
You said the process like oh, Ididn't like doing that part,
just recognizing that.
Then you don't have to wasteyour time on that as you're
moving through doing differentprojects.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Yes, so it's very valuable.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yes, Well, thank you all for joining us.
This was fun.
If you do this exercise, wewould love to hear what your
word for the year was.
So let us know in the YouTubecomments or on Instagram.
Really, I would love to hearyour words.
I think it's so interestingjust to hear what people choose.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I do too, jill, and I would like to just reiterate
and reemphasize that we do loveyour feedback, and I've gotten
feedback from people that havegiven it to a friend who then
told me so-and-so loves thisabout your podcast.
Be bold, write it out and tellus what you think.
(28:02):
Yes, that would be wonderful.
All right, everybody Onward,happy New.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Year.
Happy New Year.
All right, love you, Mama Judy.
Love you too.
My dear Talk to you soon.
Bye, Okay.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.