January 10, 2024 • 29 mins
This week, Mama Judy and I unravel the power of flexibility in both art and your daily life to stretch your boundaries and discover a path to personal evolution.
Flexibility can allow us to do things that we normally wouldn't do, or we would resist in the beginning -- it's a simple concept, but one that we need to pay attention to in order to flourish in your creative practices.
We hope you enjoy our chat today!
Episodes mentioned:
#30: How to Choose An Inspiring Word for the Year
#25: Overcoming Creative Resistance
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh good, you made it.
We are so glad you're here.
Welcome to the Mama Judy andJill podcast, an
intergenerational chat aboutlife, art and the creative
process.
I'm your host, Jill, andjoining me is my wonderful
co-host and bonus mom, Mama Judy.
Let's get started.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Well, welcome back.
Thank you so much for joiningus again today.
Hi Mama Judy, hi Jill, good tosee you Today.
Mama Judy and I are going to betalking about the idea of
flexibility in your art practiceand, mama Judy, you came up
with this idea.
You thought let's talk aboutthis.
This seems like an interestingidea.
(00:41):
Tell me about where you werethinking on this flexibility I
would be happy to Jill.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
You know, we did one on resistance and it occurred to
me that, as simple as it sounds, flexibility is the opposite of
resistance and I thought, well,if we talk about resistance,
maybe we'll just flip it overand talk about flexibility.
And, as you can remember, whenwe were talking about the word
(01:09):
of the year, if I can use thatphrase I chose flexibility to be
what I focus on.
So, instead of word of the year, I think I like to call it my
focus word and in fact, I'mgoing to show you, for those
that are watching, how flexibleI really can be, because I'm
(01:33):
going to do something and put ona pair of glasses that normally
I would not wear.
And, for those of you who donot see me, I have put on a pair
of sunglasses that are hugeheart shaped lens and I look a
little bit like Cruella DeVilleright now.
So I'm being flexible in mypersonalities.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yes, and they're black heart shapes too.
They look very sophisticated,wild, interesting and flashy all
at the same time.
You look awesome.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
They're fun.
I got the idea, before we geton the topic, from Wanda.
Wanda Kat, she has greatglasses.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Yes, she got it, and.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
I thought you know that's a fun thing.
It can totally change yourpersonality.
It can change.
You can be somebody else.
Yes, my mother was young.
The color red was her go tocolor when she needed to armor
up and take on the world.
So my glasses are my take onthe world glasses, so they're so
(02:43):
cute.
Getting back to flexibility, Ijust wanted to use those glasses
as an introduction that in somany ways flexibility can allow
us to do things that normallymaybe we wouldn't do or we would
resist in the beginning.
(03:03):
Just to recap, resistance isabout keeping the status quo in
anything.
It's comfortable, we knowwhat's going on and in our art
practice, most of us will getinto something that we're very
comfortable doing and I do it inmy journals and so flexibility
(03:30):
allows us to try new things.
It also takes pressure off ofus.
What I mean by that is, if I'mdoing something and I want it to
be a certain way and it doesn'tturn out that way, if I'm not
flexible, I'm going to get upset.
(03:51):
So flexibility, simple words,simple concept.
But I would bet that a lot ofpeople out there can find
themselves in their art practiceor their life being a little
inflexible when things come up.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Right, and also being flexible.
You said that it takes thepressure off right.
But I also see that you have tobe a little bit brave to be
flexible, or have some courageto do that as well.
While it might be easy in a way, for some people, it might be a
little bit of a struggle to beflexible, because it's hard to
(04:32):
let go, and so you can kind oflook at that both ways.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Absolutely it does, because, like I said, I'm going
to refer several times back toresistance.
Resistance is keeping us withwhat we know and what we're
comfortable with.
Flexibility takes us out of thecomfort zone often.
So, yes, it does take courageto step into the unknown which
(04:59):
is where flexibility can take us.
The wonderful thing aboutflexibility is that from
experience now this is not amoney back guarantee, but from
experience what I found is thatwhen I am flexible, I'm less
stressed, I'm more accepting ofwhat happens, I'm less
(05:27):
judgmental.
Because I'm being flexible, I'mnot trying to put things into a
certain way of doing it or acertain art form, or a certain
color or that kind of thing.
Whatever your art form is, yourcreativity, I'm allowing myself
(05:49):
to go beyond where I am.
I think flexibility is a veryimportant part of growth.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I think growth, like you just said, is exploring new
things.
You might come across somethingas you're being flexible to be
open to something, so that youare exploring new ways of doing
something, Whether that's goingand looking something up and
going, I'm going to try that andexplore and I'm being flexible
because I'm going to learn fromthis person on YouTube or
whatever.
You have that kind ofexploration idea.
(06:23):
I have a question for you.
How would you say flexibilityis different?
We've talked about when we'redoing our art intuitively,
without a real plan.
What would you say is the maindifference between flexibility
coming into your process, beingflexible, versus wanting to be
intuitive?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
To me intuitive.
There's no thought process,you're just doing it.
It's coming from the heart,it's coming from your creative
news.
There's no thought process.
Flexibility is something thatcan happen with intuitive art.
Let's follow that vein.
(07:03):
I'm intuitively creating, whichmeans I'm probably in the zone
because I'm just following mynews.
I'm not thinking about it.
In that intuitive process, I dosomething I've never done
before.
What often happens is that whenyou do that, even when you're
(07:27):
being intuitive, yourconsciousness will interrupt and
go oh wait, that's different.
Flexibility can happen evenwith our intuitive process, but
I see them really as separatethings.
Intuitive is can I use the wordmindless?
(07:49):
Not that we're mindless, butwe're not thinking about it.
We're not consciously going.
I need to paint this color here, I need to make this kind of a
stitch.
We're just allowing it to come.
Flexibility is one of thosethings that pops up everywhere,
(08:11):
or the need to be flexible.
If you're interested in growingin art and creativity, I think
you have to learn to be flexible.
Flexibility, to me, is where Iuse the phrase roll with the
(08:32):
punches or just go with the flow.
Flexibility, you just followthat new thing that shows up
instead of resisting it.
Yes, it's not just in ourcreative practice, it's in our
life too, and I think way backwhen we first started almost
(08:56):
seven months ago, I told thestory about how I had decided my
focus for the year was going tobe yes.
And then you showed up and askedif I wanted to do this.
The podcast, yes, the podcast.
Well, I think, back before Idid that, I was unconsciously
(09:18):
resisting some things that werebeing presented to me, both in
my creative practice and in mylife, and I could feel, when I
would, something would come upand I would resist it.
It would almost be like yourbody would tense and you'd go
well, no, I can't do that,whereas now that I've become
(09:43):
more open and I'm saying yes, Idon't find tension when things
don't go as expected, because Iknow I need to be flexible.
I wasn't always as flexible asI thought I was.
I had to make a conscious choiceto be aware and Stay flexible,
(10:10):
not less that automatic no, Ican't do that reaction.
So that's how flexibilitystarted to come into my mind.
Even my consciousness, more inthe last year, was starting with
the word yes.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Well, and it makes me think about, to the act of
being flexible.
Let's just say you do yoga, you, that is something you do on
the regular and you know yoga,that is part of getting flexible
, but you have to practice at it.
You're not gonna throw your legbehind your head or what, or do
a downward dog or whatever, notthat you do that.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
If I throw my leg behind my head, you guys are
gonna be calling the ambulanceto get me in traction.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
But you know what I mean when you I do amazing after
your yoga practice.
If you do is you try to beflexible.
You continue to practice andpractice the more flexible and
you'll be amazed.
And so it's the same thing withour art practice.
The more you do it, the morecomfortable it is, the more,
maybe, things you're gonnadiscover and understand what you
love and don't love, and thatsort of thing.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Absolutely.
That's a great analogy and Iwant to come back to that.
But I want to follow of whatyou just said what you'll find
by being flexible.
A lot of people are flexiblewithout even thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I'm talking about those times when you need to
make it part of your consciousreality.
I need to be more open, I needto be more.
I want to be more open, I wantto be more flexible.
You'll see over time the growthin your art, in your creativity
and in your confidence.
That's the other thing that Ithink Flexibility feeds into,
(11:56):
because the more you putyourself out there, because
you're being flexible and you'renot Resisting, that you're not
hiding behind your defensesCreatively and you're out there
pretty soon, you're morecomfortable and you'll see it in
your art.
And going back to the analogyof yoga, yes, I do stretching
(12:18):
and yoga almost daily and it isagain like flexibility.
It's the old rubber band theory.
You think that once you didyoga you would be flexible.
But what happens to a rubberband?
When you let it go?
It goes right back to its oldshape.
So, it's something you have todo all the time and when you're
(12:42):
in a yoga pose, even in that youhave to overcome resistance,
because in a deep yoga pose ifyou're resisting You're causing
pain in your muscles.
If you relax and becomeflexible and go into it, it's
(13:04):
much easier.
So flexibility is somethingthat can make our art, I think
personally and our lives Easierand more fun.
Yes, I think about beingflexible with the word yes.
This last year I have had morefun with new opportunities that
(13:27):
have been brought to me thatperhaps, in my somewhat rigid
Way before, I would never havehad, and when you said the fact
that you, instead of having theword for the year it could be,
it's like a a.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Framework, here a focus, focus, yes and so as
you're listening to this today,if you didn't hear the episode
that we just did on Creating aword for the year, go back there
, because if you've never donethis before, if you need a
refresher, we go through how todo that and what that looks like
, and it is powerful.
I've been coming up with a year, a word for the year, forever,
(14:04):
and we talked about that lastweek what my word for the year
is.
So I won't say it now, but inthat episode and but I like the
idea of a focus too, and beingflexible with yourself with even
choosing that word or thatfocus, and don't go easy on
yourself necessarily, because Iknow some of the words or
focuses for the year I've donein the past.
I'm like, oh, I don't knowabout that.
Like even your yes, you couldhave said that's a little too
(14:27):
scary.
I don't think I want to besaying yes to everything and
decided to change it up.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
You know, okay, that's perfect, because that's
exactly what happened.
And I don't you know, sometimesyou don't know where thoughts
or ideas come from, but I youknow it was after the first of
the year and Of course,everybody talks about your New
Year's resolutions.
Well, I'm sorry, I still amwaiting to lose that 15 pounds
(14:54):
from 30 years ago on the NewYear's resolutions.
So I quit making resolutionsbecause I found I set myself up
for failure.
Mm-hmm but I was looking for away to Kind of do the same thing
, bring something new into thenew calendar year.
And I had noticed, when thingswere presented to me, a
(15:20):
stiffening in my body and Ithought, well, what is this
about?
And why do?
When somebody asks me something, why is that?
My first reaction,unconsciously, without even
realizing it, and that's whatgot me going on the word yes, as
a way to bring new things intothe new year.
(15:45):
But it was scary.
My little voice inside said oh,wait a minute, that's new.
Are you sure we want to do this?
Yep, yeah.
So you know, inside we gothrough all these things.
We may not talk about them, butall these processes go in
(16:08):
inside us all the time.
Right, you know, I, you knowhow many thoughts do you have in
a day?
60,000s, thousands uponthousands, upon thousands, and
you're not even aware of it,right?
And so I think that's whatbrought me to, instead of a New
(16:28):
Year's resolution, what newthing can I focus on?
And that then sets theframework for whatever comes my
way for the next year.
And I just happen to tie it tothe calendar year because it's
fun.
It's always the end of one andthe beginning of another one.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yes, okay, I have a question for you.
So say that I'm sitting here inmy little studio art area and
I've got some watercolors overhere, some fabric over here, so
I have a few options, right?
So I could be flexible with.
I could say, oh, I'm going tobe flexible today because I'm
going to incorporate some ofthis or that.
But let's just say someone issitting there and they always
have done the same exact thingand they don't have other stuff
(17:12):
and I know that there's.
This might sound like a sillyquestion, but I know you can for
me for stitching, okay, trysome new stitches or some new
colors or whatever.
But what could be a way thatsomeone could practice
flexibility?
Maybe they're like what do youmean?
How do I be flexible beyond amindset thing?
They might catch themselves asa mindset, which is something
for sure that they could say ifyou feel yourself saying scared
(17:35):
to do that, then change yourmindset.
But what's a real life way tolook at this?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Well it goes back to and what happened with me.
The first thing to do is noticeyour body.
Your body is going to tell youyour mindset before your head
does.
If you feel that tension, thenyou can focus on, okay, what
caused that tension, and maybethat's where I need to go.
(18:02):
But let's say I'm sitting therewith the fabrics and the
stitching and I always do thesame thing, I always approach it
the same way.
Well, it's the same thing.
Like they tell you when you goto work, take a new route.
You don't have to go to work onthe same exact time, the same
(18:23):
exact route.
In fact, they tell you not todo that.
So if you're sitting there, askyourself well, why do I always
started and do this, and thenuse my favorite phrase what if?
Well, what if I started firstwith the thing I do last, Okay,
(18:47):
or something like that.
Well, what if I did thisinstead of that?
So again, it comes back toawareness.
What is it I normally do?
Am I stuck in a routine?
And, trust me, routines arenice, they're comfortable, I
like them.
I like to go in if I don't havethe energy to do something new
(19:08):
and fall into my routine.
But you have to be very carefulbecause they're also a trap.
So if you find yourself in aroutine that you cannot break
out of, then you are consciouslygoing to have to start working
on it.
Okay, well, normally I do thisand this and then this.
(19:29):
Well, there's no reason I can'tdo Z, C and A, so it can be
something simple like that.
Or if your neighbor comes overand wants to do this Lynn and I
have talked about this becausewe're both rather introverted
(19:52):
and somebody comes up to you andsays well, let's have a play
date, and it's a new person,Well my first reaction is no,
thank, you very much.
If you find yourself doingsomething like that, say yes.
Just think of flexibility interms of newness, and so what
(20:16):
you're doing by being flexibleis bringing new into your life,
and even though we may very muchlike our old life, new is good
too.
It keeps us growing.
You're either stagnating oryou're growing, and we all want
(20:37):
to grow, and flexibility, Ibelieve, is a very important
part of growing.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
And I think flexibility, at least for me
right now, is just differentmediums and that type of thing
being flexible, which I alreadydid, a little introduction of
watercolor into my stitchingstuff.
But I'm thinking now I mightwant to even just look to
something else, to be flexibleand try something new, and it
might even be drawing.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
And if you need that image of a picture is worth a
thousand words let's use the oakand the willow when they come
into a storm.
The flexible tree withstandsthe storm.
The rigid tree is the one thatbreaks.
(21:27):
So if you ever need an analogy,just think of that flexible
willow and that strong oak, andthen something comes along and
one of them breaks and one ofthem goes on.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Right, yeah, that's a really good point in your
practice.
I wanted to talk about, when wetalked about flexibility was
the emotional flexibility, and Iwrote a little note here.
I wrote something about helpingto deal with criticism.
How can flexibility help usthrough?
Emotional flexibility I guess Iwould call it, I don't even
(22:02):
know if that's our term but howcan that help with criticism,
whether that's external orinternal criticism, because we
talk about that a lot and thatis something that is going on in
all of our heads.
If we're not getting it fromthe outside, we're definitely
giving it to ourselves on theinside.
Is there anything that you canthink of that might be helpful
to someone who is facing thatright now?
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yes, you just take and whack them upside the head
and tell them to mind their ownbusiness, which maybe we want to
do that to begin with.
But that's an excellent point.
Flexibility in receivingcriticism can be critical to not
breaking us.
I'm going back to my littletree analogy again Flexibility
(22:48):
in receiving criticism.
If we're not flexible, we'regoing to take it and it's going
to destroy us.
We're going to feel unworthybecause we got some criticism.
I think flexibility allows us tolook at that criticism
differently and look to see ifthat criticism and maybe
(23:14):
criticism is too harsh a wordbut that feedback that we're
getting, that is less than wewant.
We look at it as if we'reflexible.
We can look at it as a learningprocess.
There might be something insomebody's criticism that
(23:37):
actually is of value.
But if we're not flexible inunderstanding that it could lead
us to a new area, then we'regoing to shut down because we've
received negativity and it'shurt our feelings and we're
never going to go there againbecause it's too painful.
(24:00):
If we're flexible in receivingthat criticism, that feedback, I
think it can move us beyondgetting shut down by what
somebody says or what we say.
Maybe the way to look atflexibility.
(24:20):
Emotional flexibility again, isto understand, is to use the
word new.
Can this criticism bring mesomething new?
I need to learn about mycreativity.
If we look at, let's say, thepicture that I did, somebody
(24:42):
critiques it and it's not what Iwas hoping to hear.
If I can look at it honestlyand say is there any legitimate
feedback in what they said, I'mbeing flexible in receiving it.
I'm not shutting myself off andbuilding the barriers again
(25:03):
because I got negative feedback.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Right, that is a great way to look at it, To see
is there anything new here?
Because it takes away thisthing if it's coming from
ourselves or from someone else.
What here can I takeconstructively and incorporate
into my work or my life, orwhatever that might be?
Speaker 3 (25:26):
It's okay to look at somebody's critique and go
through that which I love thatgoing through and I do it with
myself.
Well, is that legitimate?
Could I do more of that?
But it's okay to, when you dothat, go.
No, there's nothing they saidthat is of value to me, because
(25:50):
criticism can also give value toyou.
Now, a lot of people do notknow how to give constructive
criticism, and so what we oftenget is people that just, oh well
, why did you do that?
That's the ugliest color.
Well then, you have tounderstand that's on them,
(26:12):
that's not on your work.
But if you're not flexible inlooking at it that way, you are
going to get your feelings hurt.
That little child within you isgoing to run home and hide
under the bed.
You don't want them to do that.
You want them to face itstraight on, be flexible and say
, ok, well, let's see, let'stake a look at what they said.
(26:36):
Yes, oh, they're right.
If I did that, then maybe thiswould pop a little more in my
work.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Right, and several episodes back, we talked about
writing a word.
Mine was going to be evolve.
What was yours?
Oh, you were going to write aword Bear, but the idea behind
it, this is yet another one.
If this is something like, oh,if you're listening today and
you're thinking, I love thisidea, put it on a little posted
(27:03):
note, like stick it on your workarea or something.
So you're reminding yourself tobe flexible, because sometimes
we just get into things and weforget about these things that
we want to pay attention to orfocus on, and so think about
that.
If this is something ofinterest to you, or if this is
something that's hard for you asa reminder to do, like doing
our pushups, we got to remindourselves to go do our exercise
or whatever have that there sothat you can visually see that,
(27:26):
to remind you to do this,because you're going to benefit
from it.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
You will benefit.
It there is.
I'll give you a money backguarantee on that.
You will benefit in your artand your life by being more
flexible.
And yes, I have little stickynotes.
Obviously I need them because Icouldn't remember the word that
I came up with above where Icreate, and a lot of them have
(27:53):
to do with what people gave uson the couple of episodes before
, when we talked about thefeedback we got on the best
advice.
Well, a lot of what that advicethat we got from respondents are
words that I have stuck abovemy wall so that when I glance up
(28:15):
they're there.
Oh, that's right, I'm getting alittle too tight, a little too
anal over here.
Be flexible, yes.
So yes, it's very good toremind yourself.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Yes, great.
Well, I love that.
Anything else you want to saybefore we wrap it up?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
No, I have enjoyed this.
As always, I love our chats and, for those of you listening
either visually or justauditorily, the reason we do
this is Jill and I love talkingto each other, and we have found
a wonderful community onInstagram that we felt like we
(28:56):
wanted to include you.
So thank you all for beingflexible and for being here with
us today.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yes, thank you All.
Right, next week, at NewEpisodes every Wednesday.
Please share this episode witha friend, if you would.
We would love it if you wouldhelp spread the word about the
Mama Judy and Jill podcast, andwe love you all and we will talk
to you next week too.
Mama Judy, love you, love youtoo, okay, bye, bye.
Oh good, you made it.
We are so glad you're here.
Welcome to the Mama Judy andJill podcast, an
intergenerational chat aboutlife, art and the creative
process.
I'm your host, Jill, andjoining me is my wonderful
co-host and bonus mom, Mama Judy.
Let's get started.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Well, welcome back.
Thank you so much for joiningus again today.
Hi Mama Judy, hi Jill, good tosee you Today.
Mama Judy and I are going to betalking about the idea of
flexibility in your art practiceand, mama Judy, you came up
with this idea.
You thought let's talk aboutthis.
This seems like an interestingidea.
(00:41):
Tell me about where you werethinking on this flexibility I
would be happy to Jill.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
You know, we did one on resistance and it occurred to
me that, as simple as it sounds, flexibility is the opposite of
resistance and I thought, well,if we talk about resistance,
maybe we'll just flip it overand talk about flexibility.
And, as you can remember, whenwe were talking about the word
(01:09):
of the year, if I can use thatphrase I chose flexibility to be
what I focus on.
So, instead of word of the year, I think I like to call it my
focus word and in fact, I'mgoing to show you, for those
that are watching, how flexibleI really can be, because I'm
(01:33):
going to do something and put ona pair of glasses that normally
I would not wear.
And, for those of you who donot see me, I have put on a pair
of sunglasses that are hugeheart shaped lens and I look a
little bit like Cruella DeVilleright now.
So I'm being flexible in mypersonalities.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yes, and they're black heart shapes too.
They look very sophisticated,wild, interesting and flashy all
at the same time.
You look awesome.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
They're fun.
I got the idea, before we geton the topic, from Wanda.
Wanda Kat, she has greatglasses.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Yes, she got it, and.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
I thought you know that's a fun thing.
It can totally change yourpersonality.
It can change.
You can be somebody else.
Yes, my mother was young.
The color red was her go tocolor when she needed to armor
up and take on the world.
So my glasses are my take onthe world glasses, so they're so
(02:43):
cute.
Getting back to flexibility, Ijust wanted to use those glasses
as an introduction that in somany ways flexibility can allow
us to do things that normallymaybe we wouldn't do or we would
resist in the beginning.
(03:03):
Just to recap, resistance isabout keeping the status quo in
anything.
It's comfortable, we knowwhat's going on and in our art
practice, most of us will getinto something that we're very
comfortable doing and I do it inmy journals and so flexibility
(03:30):
allows us to try new things.
It also takes pressure off ofus.
What I mean by that is, if I'mdoing something and I want it to
be a certain way and it doesn'tturn out that way, if I'm not
flexible, I'm going to get upset.
(03:51):
So flexibility, simple words,simple concept.
But I would bet that a lot ofpeople out there can find
themselves in their art practiceor their life being a little
inflexible when things come up.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Right, and also being flexible.
You said that it takes thepressure off right.
But I also see that you have tobe a little bit brave to be
flexible, or have some courageto do that as well.
While it might be easy in a way, for some people, it might be a
little bit of a struggle to beflexible, because it's hard to
(04:32):
let go, and so you can kind oflook at that both ways.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Absolutely it does, because, like I said, I'm going
to refer several times back toresistance.
Resistance is keeping us withwhat we know and what we're
comfortable with.
Flexibility takes us out of thecomfort zone often.
So, yes, it does take courageto step into the unknown which
(04:59):
is where flexibility can take us.
The wonderful thing aboutflexibility is that from
experience now this is not amoney back guarantee, but from
experience what I found is thatwhen I am flexible, I'm less
stressed, I'm more accepting ofwhat happens, I'm less
(05:27):
judgmental.
Because I'm being flexible, I'mnot trying to put things into a
certain way of doing it or acertain art form, or a certain
color or that kind of thing.
Whatever your art form is, yourcreativity, I'm allowing myself
(05:49):
to go beyond where I am.
I think flexibility is a veryimportant part of growth.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I think growth, like you just said, is exploring new
things.
You might come across somethingas you're being flexible to be
open to something, so that youare exploring new ways of doing
something, Whether that's goingand looking something up and
going, I'm going to try that andexplore and I'm being flexible
because I'm going to learn fromthis person on YouTube or
whatever.
You have that kind ofexploration idea.
(06:23):
I have a question for you.
How would you say flexibilityis different?
We've talked about when we'redoing our art intuitively,
without a real plan.
What would you say is the maindifference between flexibility
coming into your process, beingflexible, versus wanting to be
intuitive?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
To me intuitive.
There's no thought process,you're just doing it.
It's coming from the heart,it's coming from your creative
news.
There's no thought process.
Flexibility is something thatcan happen with intuitive art.
Let's follow that vein.
(07:03):
I'm intuitively creating, whichmeans I'm probably in the zone
because I'm just following mynews.
I'm not thinking about it.
In that intuitive process, I dosomething I've never done
before.
What often happens is that whenyou do that, even when you're
(07:27):
being intuitive, yourconsciousness will interrupt and
go oh wait, that's different.
Flexibility can happen evenwith our intuitive process, but
I see them really as separatethings.
Intuitive is can I use the wordmindless?
(07:49):
Not that we're mindless, butwe're not thinking about it.
We're not consciously going.
I need to paint this color here, I need to make this kind of a
stitch.
We're just allowing it to come.
Flexibility is one of thosethings that pops up everywhere,
(08:11):
or the need to be flexible.
If you're interested in growingin art and creativity, I think
you have to learn to be flexible.
Flexibility, to me, is where Iuse the phrase roll with the
(08:32):
punches or just go with the flow.
Flexibility, you just followthat new thing that shows up
instead of resisting it.
Yes, it's not just in ourcreative practice, it's in our
life too, and I think way backwhen we first started almost
(08:56):
seven months ago, I told thestory about how I had decided my
focus for the year was going tobe yes.
And then you showed up and askedif I wanted to do this.
The podcast, yes, the podcast.
Well, I think, back before Idid that, I was unconsciously
(09:18):
resisting some things that werebeing presented to me, both in
my creative practice and in mylife, and I could feel, when I
would, something would come upand I would resist it.
It would almost be like yourbody would tense and you'd go
well, no, I can't do that,whereas now that I've become
(09:43):
more open and I'm saying yes, Idon't find tension when things
don't go as expected, because Iknow I need to be flexible.
I wasn't always as flexible asI thought I was.
I had to make a conscious choiceto be aware and Stay flexible,
(10:10):
not less that automatic no, Ican't do that reaction.
So that's how flexibilitystarted to come into my mind.
Even my consciousness, more inthe last year, was starting with
the word yes.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Well, and it makes me think about, to the act of
being flexible.
Let's just say you do yoga, you, that is something you do on
the regular and you know yoga,that is part of getting flexible
, but you have to practice at it.
You're not gonna throw your legbehind your head or what, or do
a downward dog or whatever, notthat you do that.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
If I throw my leg behind my head, you guys are
gonna be calling the ambulanceto get me in traction.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
But you know what I mean when you I do amazing after
your yoga practice.
If you do is you try to beflexible.
You continue to practice andpractice the more flexible and
you'll be amazed.
And so it's the same thing withour art practice.
The more you do it, the morecomfortable it is, the more,
maybe, things you're gonnadiscover and understand what you
love and don't love, and thatsort of thing.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Absolutely.
That's a great analogy and Iwant to come back to that.
But I want to follow of whatyou just said what you'll find
by being flexible.
A lot of people are flexiblewithout even thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I'm talking about those times when you need to
make it part of your consciousreality.
I need to be more open, I needto be more.
I want to be more open, I wantto be more flexible.
You'll see over time the growthin your art, in your creativity
and in your confidence.
That's the other thing that Ithink Flexibility feeds into,
(11:56):
because the more you putyourself out there, because
you're being flexible and you'renot Resisting, that you're not
hiding behind your defensesCreatively and you're out there
pretty soon, you're morecomfortable and you'll see it in
your art.
And going back to the analogyof yoga, yes, I do stretching
(12:18):
and yoga almost daily and it isagain like flexibility.
It's the old rubber band theory.
You think that once you didyoga you would be flexible.
But what happens to a rubberband?
When you let it go?
It goes right back to its oldshape.
So, it's something you have todo all the time and when you're
(12:42):
in a yoga pose, even in that youhave to overcome resistance,
because in a deep yoga pose ifyou're resisting You're causing
pain in your muscles.
If you relax and becomeflexible and go into it, it's
(13:04):
much easier.
So flexibility is somethingthat can make our art, I think
personally and our lives Easierand more fun.
Yes, I think about beingflexible with the word yes.
This last year I have had morefun with new opportunities that
(13:27):
have been brought to me thatperhaps, in my somewhat rigid
Way before, I would never havehad, and when you said the fact
that you, instead of having theword for the year it could be,
it's like a a.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Framework, here a focus, focus, yes and so as
you're listening to this today,if you didn't hear the episode
that we just did on Creating aword for the year, go back there
, because if you've never donethis before, if you need a
refresher, we go through how todo that and what that looks like
, and it is powerful.
I've been coming up with a year, a word for the year, forever,
(14:04):
and we talked about that lastweek what my word for the year
is.
So I won't say it now, but inthat episode and but I like the
idea of a focus too, and beingflexible with yourself with even
choosing that word or thatfocus, and don't go easy on
yourself necessarily, because Iknow some of the words or
focuses for the year I've donein the past.
I'm like, oh, I don't knowabout that.
Like even your yes, you couldhave said that's a little too
(14:27):
scary.
I don't think I want to besaying yes to everything and
decided to change it up.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
You know, okay, that's perfect, because that's
exactly what happened.
And I don't you know, sometimesyou don't know where thoughts
or ideas come from, but I youknow it was after the first of
the year and Of course,everybody talks about your New
Year's resolutions.
Well, I'm sorry, I still amwaiting to lose that 15 pounds
(14:54):
from 30 years ago on the NewYear's resolutions.
So I quit making resolutionsbecause I found I set myself up
for failure.
Mm-hmm but I was looking for away to Kind of do the same thing
, bring something new into thenew calendar year.
And I had noticed, when thingswere presented to me, a
(15:20):
stiffening in my body and Ithought, well, what is this
about?
And why do?
When somebody asks me something, why is that?
My first reaction,unconsciously, without even
realizing it, and that's whatgot me going on the word yes, as
a way to bring new things intothe new year.
(15:45):
But it was scary.
My little voice inside said oh,wait a minute, that's new.
Are you sure we want to do this?
Yep, yeah.
So you know, inside we gothrough all these things.
We may not talk about them, butall these processes go in
(16:08):
inside us all the time.
Right, you know, I, you knowhow many thoughts do you have in
a day?
60,000s, thousands uponthousands, upon thousands, and
you're not even aware of it,right?
And so I think that's whatbrought me to, instead of a New
(16:28):
Year's resolution, what newthing can I focus on?
And that then sets theframework for whatever comes my
way for the next year.
And I just happen to tie it tothe calendar year because it's
fun.
It's always the end of one andthe beginning of another one.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yes, okay, I have a question for you.
So say that I'm sitting here inmy little studio art area and
I've got some watercolors overhere, some fabric over here, so
I have a few options, right?
So I could be flexible with.
I could say, oh, I'm going tobe flexible today because I'm
going to incorporate some ofthis or that.
But let's just say someone issitting there and they always
have done the same exact thingand they don't have other stuff
(17:12):
and I know that there's.
This might sound like a sillyquestion, but I know you can for
me for stitching, okay, trysome new stitches or some new
colors or whatever.
But what could be a way thatsomeone could practice
flexibility?
Maybe they're like what do youmean?
How do I be flexible beyond amindset thing?
They might catch themselves asa mindset, which is something
for sure that they could say ifyou feel yourself saying scared
(17:35):
to do that, then change yourmindset.
But what's a real life way tolook at this?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Well it goes back to and what happened with me.
The first thing to do is noticeyour body.
Your body is going to tell youyour mindset before your head
does.
If you feel that tension, thenyou can focus on, okay, what
caused that tension, and maybethat's where I need to go.
(18:02):
But let's say I'm sitting therewith the fabrics and the
stitching and I always do thesame thing, I always approach it
the same way.
Well, it's the same thing.
Like they tell you when you goto work, take a new route.
You don't have to go to work onthe same exact time, the same
(18:23):
exact route.
In fact, they tell you not todo that.
So if you're sitting there, askyourself well, why do I always
started and do this, and thenuse my favorite phrase what if?
Well, what if I started firstwith the thing I do last, Okay,
(18:47):
or something like that.
Well, what if I did thisinstead of that?
So again, it comes back toawareness.
What is it I normally do?
Am I stuck in a routine?
And, trust me, routines arenice, they're comfortable, I
like them.
I like to go in if I don't havethe energy to do something new
(19:08):
and fall into my routine.
But you have to be very carefulbecause they're also a trap.
So if you find yourself in aroutine that you cannot break
out of, then you are consciouslygoing to have to start working
on it.
Okay, well, normally I do thisand this and then this.
(19:29):
Well, there's no reason I can'tdo Z, C and A, so it can be
something simple like that.
Or if your neighbor comes overand wants to do this Lynn and I
have talked about this becausewe're both rather introverted
(19:52):
and somebody comes up to you andsays well, let's have a play
date, and it's a new person,Well my first reaction is no,
thank, you very much.
If you find yourself doingsomething like that, say yes.
Just think of flexibility interms of newness, and so what
(20:16):
you're doing by being flexibleis bringing new into your life,
and even though we may very muchlike our old life, new is good
too.
It keeps us growing.
You're either stagnating oryou're growing, and we all want
(20:37):
to grow, and flexibility, Ibelieve, is a very important
part of growing.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
And I think flexibility, at least for me
right now, is just differentmediums and that type of thing
being flexible, which I alreadydid, a little introduction of
watercolor into my stitchingstuff.
But I'm thinking now I mightwant to even just look to
something else, to be flexibleand try something new, and it
might even be drawing.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
And if you need that image of a picture is worth a
thousand words let's use the oakand the willow when they come
into a storm.
The flexible tree withstandsthe storm.
The rigid tree is the one thatbreaks.
(21:27):
So if you ever need an analogy,just think of that flexible
willow and that strong oak, andthen something comes along and
one of them breaks and one ofthem goes on.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Right, yeah, that's a really good point in your
practice.
I wanted to talk about, when wetalked about flexibility was
the emotional flexibility, and Iwrote a little note here.
I wrote something about helpingto deal with criticism.
How can flexibility help usthrough?
Emotional flexibility I guess Iwould call it, I don't even
(22:02):
know if that's our term but howcan that help with criticism,
whether that's external orinternal criticism, because we
talk about that a lot and thatis something that is going on in
all of our heads.
If we're not getting it fromthe outside, we're definitely
giving it to ourselves on theinside.
Is there anything that you canthink of that might be helpful
to someone who is facing thatright now?
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yes, you just take and whack them upside the head
and tell them to mind their ownbusiness, which maybe we want to
do that to begin with.
But that's an excellent point.
Flexibility in receivingcriticism can be critical to not
breaking us.
I'm going back to my littletree analogy again Flexibility
(22:48):
in receiving criticism.
If we're not flexible, we'regoing to take it and it's going
to destroy us.
We're going to feel unworthybecause we got some criticism.
I think flexibility allows us tolook at that criticism
differently and look to see ifthat criticism and maybe
(23:14):
criticism is too harsh a wordbut that feedback that we're
getting, that is less than wewant.
We look at it as if we'reflexible.
We can look at it as a learningprocess.
There might be something insomebody's criticism that
(23:37):
actually is of value.
But if we're not flexible inunderstanding that it could lead
us to a new area, then we'regoing to shut down because we've
received negativity and it'shurt our feelings and we're
never going to go there againbecause it's too painful.
(24:00):
If we're flexible in receivingthat criticism, that feedback, I
think it can move us beyondgetting shut down by what
somebody says or what we say.
Maybe the way to look atflexibility.
(24:20):
Emotional flexibility again, isto understand, is to use the
word new.
Can this criticism bring mesomething new?
I need to learn about mycreativity.
If we look at, let's say, thepicture that I did, somebody
(24:42):
critiques it and it's not what Iwas hoping to hear.
If I can look at it honestlyand say is there any legitimate
feedback in what they said, I'mbeing flexible in receiving it.
I'm not shutting myself off andbuilding the barriers again
(25:03):
because I got negative feedback.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Right, that is a great way to look at it, To see
is there anything new here?
Because it takes away thisthing if it's coming from
ourselves or from someone else.
What here can I takeconstructively and incorporate
into my work or my life, orwhatever that might be?
Speaker 3 (25:26):
It's okay to look at somebody's critique and go
through that which I love thatgoing through and I do it with
myself.
Well, is that legitimate?
Could I do more of that?
But it's okay to, when you dothat, go.
No, there's nothing they saidthat is of value to me, because
(25:50):
criticism can also give value toyou.
Now, a lot of people do notknow how to give constructive
criticism, and so what we oftenget is people that just, oh well
, why did you do that?
That's the ugliest color.
Well then, you have tounderstand that's on them,
(26:12):
that's not on your work.
But if you're not flexible inlooking at it that way, you are
going to get your feelings hurt.
That little child within you isgoing to run home and hide
under the bed.
You don't want them to do that.
You want them to face itstraight on, be flexible and say
, ok, well, let's see, let'stake a look at what they said.
(26:36):
Yes, oh, they're right.
If I did that, then maybe thiswould pop a little more in my
work.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Right, and several episodes back, we talked about
writing a word.
Mine was going to be evolve.
What was yours?
Oh, you were going to write aword Bear, but the idea behind
it, this is yet another one.
If this is something like, oh,if you're listening today and
you're thinking, I love thisidea, put it on a little posted
(27:03):
note, like stick it on your workarea or something.
So you're reminding yourself tobe flexible, because sometimes
we just get into things and weforget about these things that
we want to pay attention to orfocus on, and so think about
that.
If this is something ofinterest to you, or if this is
something that's hard for you asa reminder to do, like doing
our pushups, we got to remindourselves to go do our exercise
or whatever have that there sothat you can visually see that,
(27:26):
to remind you to do this,because you're going to benefit
from it.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
You will benefit.
It there is.
I'll give you a money backguarantee on that.
You will benefit in your artand your life by being more
flexible.
And yes, I have little stickynotes.
Obviously I need them because Icouldn't remember the word that
I came up with above where Icreate, and a lot of them have
(27:53):
to do with what people gave uson the couple of episodes before
, when we talked about thefeedback we got on the best
advice.
Well, a lot of what that advicethat we got from respondents are
words that I have stuck abovemy wall so that when I glance up
(28:15):
they're there.
Oh, that's right, I'm getting alittle too tight, a little too
anal over here.
Be flexible, yes.
So yes, it's very good toremind yourself.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Yes, great.
Well, I love that.
Anything else you want to saybefore we wrap it up?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
No, I have enjoyed this.
As always, I love our chats and, for those of you listening
either visually or justauditorily, the reason we do
this is Jill and I love talkingto each other, and we have found
a wonderful community onInstagram that we felt like we
(28:56):
wanted to include you.
So thank you all for beingflexible and for being here with
us today.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yes, thank you All.
Right, next week, at NewEpisodes every Wednesday.
Please share this episode witha friend, if you would.
We would love it if you wouldhelp spread the word about the
Mama Judy and Jill podcast, andwe love you all and we will talk
to you next week too.
Mama Judy, love you, love youtoo, okay, bye, bye.
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