Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, it is me Moni Mails the Money Mails podcast.
I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I randomly
got this idea to do my podcast again. I know
it's been like I just want to say months. It
hasn't even been months. It's been years. Not only that
my kids are downstairs, they're loud as hell, so I'm
(00:22):
sure you'll hear them from time to time. I'm sure
one of them will come up here calling my name,
asking me for something. I just figure at this point
like there's no right or wrong way to do my
podcast right. It's now or never. And like I said,
I felt it on my heart to kind of just
bring this thing on back. And when I first thought
about it, I was like, should I change the name?
(00:43):
I looked up a couple of names they were already taking,
and I'm like, you know what, we gonna keep rocking
with the Mandimail's podcast. So here we are back, man.
I'm hoping that this gives me that piece of me back.
I talked about it my social media. If you're following
me at Morning Mails, M A N I M I
(01:04):
double L, double last. And it's not something that's on
my story page. Actually, it was like it was not
on my regular page, just with something that I kind
of talked about my stories and if you're new here,
I'm a mom, a mom of four. My most recent
baby was born November of last year. He'll be one
next month, which is insane. And then I have a
(01:26):
two year old who will be three next month, a
four year old who will be five next month. Yes, ah,
November babies maya business. Then I have my oldest son, Aiden,
who is thirteen in child when I'll say, I would
just had a lot going on and I would to
talk about it. I feel like people don't talk about
(01:47):
the things that I'm going through. But I know I'm
not alone. It's got to be some money out there
that can relate to some of this stuff. So let
me just tell you what I've been up to. First
and foremost, But like I said, my youngest is about
to be one. Started waning him. I've been nursing breastfeeding
since Aya. So really I've been like breastfeeding for like
(02:08):
three years, including like my baby that I just had,
and so I just started waning him off, and like
my goal was one, so I'm a little early because again,
he'll be one next month on Thanksgiving actually, but now
that it's like finally real, and I'm like touching my
titties and I don't have milk, and and I'm like,
oh my god, I'm not breastfeeding anymore. Like it's really
(02:32):
really sweet because my husband and I, you know, we're
in a we're agreeing that this is our last baby.
So I feel like the way I did, I feel
like I should have been a little bit more a
little purpose for something, like I just cut it off,
and now that it's gone, I'm like stressed out that
it happened so quickly because he wasn't a problem at all,
Like he you know, he'll still pulling my shirt a
(02:54):
little bit. But Aya, my two year old, she was
very very hard to get off. So I guess when
I started weaning, I thought it was gonna be like
a process. I didn't think it was gonna be over
this soon. But clearly baby boy was not putting up
a fight. So yes, I am three four days reast
feeding free. It does feel good to have my body back,
(03:18):
but I can't lie. It does feel a little bit
of sweet, just because you know, like I said, if
this is my last baby, you know, those are special
moments that you know I'll never get back. So I
kind of been feeling hello of that today. Another thing
that I want to talk about that I might not
be able to get all the way into because the
kids are up right now. But another thing that's up
(03:39):
with me is that my son, my oldest son, he's
thirteen eighten Okay, he has a girlfriend. No. Granted, I've
been in school, Okay, I know that we didn't have
boyfriend and girlfriends in middle school. I had a boyfriend
in middle school, okay, But anyways, I think it's just
different when you're on the other end of things, when
you're the parents now, right, and not just had to
(04:01):
check and see if he was coming, okay, not just
being the parent, but also like I know, I know,
don't judge me, but I went through his phone. Hopefully
you heard that, because I don't want to be too
loud about it, but I just had to check and
see what was going on, because you know, he has
just been really fully into this girl, and so some
(04:25):
of the things I see you we're like really really deep, right,
Oh my god, I feel like I'm being watched right now.
We're listening to got really Cooliet downstairs. Okay, now they're
so loud, they're moving and kicking. Anyways, some of the
things I saw were really really deep, Okay, Like one
of the things he said was like, you've made a
big impact on my life. And here I and my
mom wondering, how did this little girl make an impact
(04:49):
on my son's life? Okay, And so then all of
this got me thinking about, oh my god, he's thirteen.
Oh my god, he's at the age where listening. When
I was in middle school, there was a girl. I
never forget it. I want to put her name out
there because I don't know how big it's gonna be. Okay,
I'm speaking into existence that I'm gonna start back to
Moneymail's podcast and it's gonna be a big, big deal. Okay,
(05:11):
But anyways, I want to say her name. But it
was a girl in my middle school, Abruary who was great,
and so of course I start thinking about that, and
so I'm just stressed out because I'm like, Okay, my
son's all in love. He is definitely interested other things.
And yes, we communicate. I talked to him, you know.
I talked to him most recently, probably about a month ago.
(05:33):
Like we're always talking to him about things, but I'm
thinking him that it's real and I'm realizing like, Okay,
this is possibly something that could happen in the near future.
It's just freaking me out. Okay, it's freaking me out.
The like I said, the girl was in eighth grade
pregnant and that's just not something that you know, I
(05:54):
want for any of our lives. And so anyways, I
was talking to her friend today and that was a
little emotional for me too, because I'm like, Okay, if
I don't do nothing else right, like I hope that
the one thing that I can do right is keep
my kids, all of them, from being you know, teen parents,
you know, and break that generational curse. Because my mom
(06:15):
had me in nineteens. Then I went and I had
eight in the twenty and it's like, Okay, I saw
my mom having me in nineteen and I didn't think
nothing was wrong with it because we didn't talk about
anything being wrong with it, you know. So when I
got pregnant with eight, and I was just thinking, like, Okay,
my mom did what I can be with you know,
Like I was never and I noticed is so crazy
(06:36):
to say, but I was never really like scared, like
I didn't want to get pregnant, but I don't feel
like I had that fear in me, like girl you
met or not, you know. So anyways, my husband and
I we are Yeah, if you're new here, I'm married.
My husband is amazing. We met how many years ago?
Now seven years ago? And I have to get into
(06:56):
that story another day because right now I gotta get
this off my chest. But anyway, so we still So
you know, my husband is not his biological father, but
you know, he has stepped up to trimamentously, and like
I just feel like as time goes on, their relationship
just keeps getting stronger and stronger, like it's beautiful. It's
it's you know, it's tough, you know, as with anything,
(07:18):
you know, blended families. You know, we have our struggles,
but overall, you know, I just feel really really blessed. Anyways,
let me get back to the topic cause I feel
like I'm rambling. So my husband and I we were
actually in the bed last night because we had a
lot both of us had a long day, so I
actually didn't even get to talk to him about what
(07:40):
I saw in the phone until we were in bed,
and so We're just like, Okay, we have to start
having the conversations, have to start talking about you know,
the importance of Okay, if this is gonna happen soon,
you're talking about sex. Of course, please strap up, not
just for the sack of babies, but for the sake
of your health. And I'm just praying, like I said,
(08:03):
I'm just praying that this is the one thing that
I can get right. It would just make me just
feel so good as a mom if I could get
my kids through their teenage years through college, you know,
without having the responsibility of a child. So anyways, I'm
kind of dealing with that amiya. She's my four year
(08:29):
old who will be five next month. She has a
late birthday, so she wasn't able to start in kindergarten. However,
she's been begging me, begging me, begging me to go
to school. And I'm about to give in, which is
so stressful for me because I just really have a
hard time letting go at that control. You know, I'm
in this weird space where I've been in, like, Okay,
(08:53):
so I was pregnant in twenty nineteen, twenty twenty one,
and then twenty twenty three, a so like, literally I've been,
for lack of better words, on whole like I've just
been chilling, you know. I mean there's been moments throughout
my career that, you know, the baby didn't stop my show,
but like overall, my body, my mentality, like everything has
(09:16):
literally just been mommy mode. This has been my life
just being with my kids, and I don't really know
how to tap out of that. So it's like thinking
about my daughter going to school, being away from her,
and then not just that, also thinking about how much
she's gonna have to adapt to just real life, you know,
cause she's just been in the house with me, and
(09:39):
she is not used to anybody being mean, so to speak.
She you know. So anyway, it's just like I'm having
a hard time fixed to my mind around that, which
again I was talking to my friend earlier and she's like,
I mean it has to happen at some point, you know,
And I'm like, yeah, I gotta just do it before
I psych myself out of it and really just kind
(10:01):
of let go of that control, because that's really what
this season is about for me. Like I feel like
I have so many opportunities to do something for me,
and I just don't do it. I have opportunities to
go and hang out and the time will come and
it's just like, no, I'd rather be home with my babies.
It's like a mentality, Like I don't know how to
(10:22):
get out of that mentality. It's really weird. I feel
like you can't understand it unless you actually go through it,
because I'm sure you're listening and you're probably like, girl,
just go, girl, just do it. But I don't know why.
It just hasn't been that simple for me. So anyway,
she's been begging me to go to school. I finally
found a school that I actually love. And you know,
mind you we've entertained this idea at the beginning of
(10:45):
the school year. So in August, so I went toward
a couple of schools. I didn't like them at all
at all, and so I just tried again recently. And
so in that, like I said, I really really enjoyed
my tour, I really enjoyed the staff, like everything, honestly,
like checked off all of my boxes. And so you know,
(11:10):
in that, I'm just trying to find peace and saying, look,
at least I didn't rush and put her in the
first school popping, you know, the first school that was open.
You know, I took my time. I you know, made
a decision that I felt was best for her versus
just throwing her in school just because they get on
my nurse. You know. She stressed me out being with me,
(11:32):
you know. So I do feel proud about that, But
that is something another transition that I'm dealing with, you know,
just enrolling Amita in school and then just having the
baby and my two year old with me, which my
two year old boy, the thirty three year old, she
the most stressful of them all. I was talking to
my homegirl. I was like, if I could do it, well,
(11:53):
I'm gonna say I could do it all over again,
because I mean, honestly, it's beautiful. But I saw a
post on Instagram there was a mom encouraging people. She's like, oh,
if you're on the fence about having a third baby,
this is your sign to do it now. Meanwhile, she's
holding me with a two week old baby, okay, and
she's talking about how her third baby is so calm
(12:14):
and chill. I'm like, girl, you holding a two week baby,
give it a year. I promise you that third one
is different. Okay. Anyways, that's pretty much what's going on
all with my life. I'm just really excited to kind
of get back into it because I'm just trying to Oh,
(12:35):
that was what i wanted to say. Another thing about
a me abingdon school, it forced me to get up
and to get in a new routine, which I'm just
trying to do things different to kind of shake myself
from this postpartum whatever I'm going through, to shake myself
from all of that mental stuff that's going on with me.
And like postpartum looks different for everybody, so like, I'm
(12:55):
not depressed, I'm not suicidal, and prayers out to those
of you, those of my mamas that are praying for you.
But you know, mind just look a little different. Mine
just more so just a little lazy, a little I
just want to kick it with my kids, do stuff
with my kids, and do nothing for me, which is sad.
So I'm kind of trying to just shape that mentality.
(13:17):
So another good thing about in me of being in
school is like, Okay, I'll get up and once I
get up, I can work out, you know, And once
I work out, I can eat different, you know, and
all and all it helps me to feel different. And
so with this podcast, I'm hoping that that gives me
something all stof to commit to. Like I'm saying, I'm hoping,
I'm just gonna put it out there. This will give
me something to commit to, another thing that I can
(13:39):
do for myself, just kind of let it all out,
you know. So, yeah, that's what's going on. Just a
brief update. I really don't know what I'm gonna do
with this thing, how I'm gonna maneuver it is. I
would love to, like, you know, answer questions maybe if
it's certain topics that you want me to talk about.
I would love to just kind of talk nobody based
(14:00):
on my experience, not based on like me trying to
tell somebody what to do, or me thinking I know
everything because I promise I don't, you know, but you know,
what's some good things that maybe we can talk about here?
What are some good things that are relatable? You know?
You hear them screaming, Yeah, so we're gonna be doing
this regardless whether they screaming, whether they crying, We're gonna
(14:24):
be doing this. Okay, I'm committing to this thing, and honestly,
I'm feeling really excited about it. This weekend, my husband
and I are going to a wedding and Miammi, yes, yes, yes,
hold on, I gotta oh, that's not it, that's not it.
Here we go. I don't want to figure all look
(14:46):
out over again. Anyway, We're going to a wedding this weekend.
My mom is coming in town on Thursday. This will
be our first weekend away from the kids together since
three years ago. That's freaking crazy. Three years ago. We
didn't even take a honeymoon yet after we got married,
(15:07):
because I literally got married six weeks after I gave
birth to Ayi. Like we've been we've been doing it.
You know. I'm really proud of us because I feel
like a lot of the stuff that we've gone through
cook could have really broken a lot of couples. But
we just keep getting stronger and stronger and just keep
learning each other and growing together, and that's what it's
all about. So I'm excited this weekend, that's what I'll
(15:28):
be doing. I'll be going to Miami for a wedding.
He's actually singing in the wedding, so that's really sweet.
And then I love his family. I'm it's his cousin's wedding.
I love his family, so that'll be a really good time.
So I'm looking forward to dad and so I can't
wait to come back and tell you all about it.
I'm sure I'm have some stories. I promise I ain't
(15:49):
gonna make no babies. In fact, I was so pissed
cause I checked my slow app and do you know
flow got me started my period on Saturday. I feel
like God was like, ah, we already know. I already
know how y'all be doing. You ain't about to come
back here whatever? Baby. Anyways, I appreciate that, big g
(16:09):
O D. But I'm ad cause yeah, anyway, the kids
are coming up the steps. Listen, I'm excited about this.
If you're excited about this, please the comments. Follow me
on social media, send me a message, send me some
topics that maybe can talk about. I don't even love
to have like a guest. You know, maybe you can
hop on here and we can just do this, so, like,
(16:29):
just have a conversation two moms or two women you
know who are living out their dreams as well as
being a parent and a wife, or you know, whatever
we may have in comment or not having common I
mean I think that would be cool too, to not
have some things in common and to kind of talk
it out. So feel free to reach out to me
(16:50):
again at Moneymails on social media. M A N I
M I double L double as my email is the
same moneymails at gmail dot com. The gain gets came upstairs.
Stay high real quick, y'all. Stay hi a ya. So yes,
I'm gonna tap out. I will talk to you next
time right here on the Money Mills podcast. Oh