November 6, 2023 • 27 mins
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Last week Tammy shared an innocent post on the MarriedNNaked Instagram listing 10 Questions To Help You Fall In Love Again.
Little did she realize the attention this post would get.
In this post are 10 conversation starters that can help you reconnect with your spouse.
But 43 million views later (and counting), we have been overwhelmed with what people are saying about these questions, both good and bad.
We dig into the controversy surrounding Tammy's post about these deep relationship questions and discuss why these 10 conversation starters elicited such strong responses.
Learn how questions like these can help rekindle love and intimacy in your relationship. And Tammy is sharing 3 very important reminders to keep in mind when using conversation starters. You don't want to miss those.
Plus, Joel and Tammy are quizzing each other on 5 Fun Conversation Starters that you can ask your partner today.
So tune in, let's re-ignite your marriage one conversation at a time!
Grab your FREE PDF of the 10 Questions That Can Make You Fall In Love Again by clicking HERE
Grab your set of the Married and Naked Date Night Questions For Couples card deck HERE
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Facebook @MarriedAndNaked
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Email marriednnaked@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Married to Naked podcast.
I'm Tammy, founder of the blogMarried to Naked, certified
sexuality coach and speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Joel, tv host , motivational speaker and the
guinea pig to the lessons you'reabout to learn.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We're high school sweethearts, married over two
decades, and we're on a missionto help you create the marriage
you desire and deserve.
Let's get naked.
Welcome in to the Married toNaked podcast.
Everybody Happy to have youhere with us today.
I miss sitting in the seats.
It's been a little bit.
It's been a little bit.
It's been a little bit it'sbeen a little bit, it feels like
(00:35):
a really long time.
It hasn't been that long, butit certainly feels like it, like
time is just flying by.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm sure we're not the only ones that feel this way
as well, but the closer to theend of the year we get, I just
feel like I mean you turn a pageand five days went by.
You know what I mean 100%.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I could not even believe October was gone on the
31st.
I was shocked by it.
You did I feel like it took mecompletely by surprise.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Hope you guys are doing wonderful.
I am excited about today'stopic, babe.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, I am.
I love this stuff.
You know that I'm reallyexcited about this topic because
, first of all, it's verytopical and it's also polarizing
.
We did not realize that thiswas a polarizing topic.
You recently shared a post onInstagram that first of all
exploded for your page.
I mean millions and millions ofviews on this post and it was
(01:28):
on questions that we ask eachother, and it became polarizing.
People took a side on this.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Well, the post was 10 questions to help you fall in
love again, and they wereconnecting conversation starters
essentially.
And one of the reasons I sharedthat is because this is kind of
a habit for you and I, that weuse conversation starters all
the time.
So I thought it'd be fun toshare that idea with others and
(01:57):
also, in the description,sharing how and why you and I
use them.
And I was completely surprisedby I think we both were.
By the comments.
They were either I love this orI hate this.
I have seen the best and theworst of the internet in the
(02:17):
comments section of this post,but my intention was to remind
people that simple practiceslike asking each other deep,
connecting questions can reallyhelp reignite or bring back some
of those feelings that you feelin the beginning when you're
dating each other and getting toknow each other, and I think
(02:40):
that those are really importantpractices as you go through your
entire marriage.
So that was the whole reasonbehind posting that.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I was really surprised at the opposite side
of that.
The people that hated it didn'tlike it at all, Because it is
one of our favorite things to do.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
That's what I wanna talk about today, because
clearly people are interested inthis particular topic.
They are interested in having alist of questions.
They are interested in fallingin love with their spouse.
Again, they're interested increating happy and healthy
marriages and finding strategiesto do that.
(03:20):
This is one that's had a reallybig positive impact on our
marriage and we continue to useregularly.
So I wanted to talk about howwe use conversation starters,
why we use them, and then I alsowanna give three reminders
about how to use theseconversation starters.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
So let's talk about how the idea of using
conversation starters came aboutfor you and I.
When you and I were struggling,one thing I noticed was we would
go on date night occasionally.
We didn't have like a reallygood regular thing, but when we
did get time to go on date night, what would most often happen
(03:59):
is we would wind up bickering orwind up in an argument and then
come home feeling morefrustrated and disconnected than
ever.
And one of the things werealized when we were trying to
repair our marriage and reallywe were kind of digging in and
really analyzing what's notworking and why is this not
(04:21):
working One of the things werealized is that on these date
nights, the majority of ourconversation would be about work
, and for you and I that's atouchy subject.
Because we work together, wework at home, we work in the
same office, we run businessestogether.
It can be a very touchy subject.
We would talk about the kidsand especially at that time when
(04:44):
our kids were young, we wouldhave differing opinions about
how to handle things, how todiscipline, and that would cause
an argument.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Or one of our other favorite topics would be a
sinkhole known as.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Finances or money.
Yeah, let me tell you, asinkhole, and that wasn't even
like we couldn't even just talkabout it.
That just immediately led to anargument.
So, when we were reallyanalyzing these date nights and
realizing this is why we'rearguing all the time one of the
things that I suggested was whydon't we make a rule on our date
(05:21):
nights where we do not allowthese conversations, we don't
talk about these triggers, andthat's what we started to do.
So the question everybody askedis if you don't talk about that,
what else is there to talkabout?
Because what else is thereright?
It's all about work and the kidsand money or you know, the
in-laws are all these triggerthings that's usually what
(05:42):
conversation's about.
So I don't know why or how, butsomehow I got inspired to go to
the internet and I downloadedand printed off some
conversation starters.
I thought this would be a funway to kind of redirect these
date nights so that we don'ttalk about those things and we
(06:02):
talk about more fun thingsinstead.
That was really the goal.
Really, the goal was to comeback feeling good and not
terrible after all of our datenights.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Absolutely, and I remember feeling connected to
you because the questions are soinspiring.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Well, they weren't just inspiring, we were having
fun with them, we were askingsilly questions.
I don't know in the beginning,honestly, can't remember
specifically, but I imagine inthe beginning they were pretty
hearted, like if you had asuperpower, what would you want
it to be, or what would anotherone be?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Well, I know.
Another one was we would alwaysplay with it because money is a
sinkhole for us.
So we would do the opposite.
Say, hey, if there was anunlimited amount of money, if
you won the lottery, if you wonthe lottery or if you had to
spend $10,000 in two hours, whatwould you do?
And you couldn't spend it onyourself, right, but stuff like
that.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, we would just have fun.
We were looking for fun thingsand I think we started to see
like, oh, this is what datenight can be.
It can actually be fun and wecan come back from it feeling
connected.
So we just kept doing it.
We just kept.
You would start looking upconversations on your starters
on your phone and then, not toolong after, when I realized what
(07:20):
an impact this was having and Istarted the married and naked
blog, I created date nightquestions for the blog and then
you and I would print those outand we would take those on our
date nights.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
You know, hold on.
I got a pause right there.
I got a shameless plug, becausethat's not why we're doing this
, but you just said somethingthat like never dawned on me.
You figured out how to help uswith appreciation is to take a
journal and write words ofappreciation to each other.
And then you created your ownjournal.
And then we were doing these,downloading anything we can find
off the internet, and we'rerealizing we're gonna come up
(07:51):
with better questions.
And then you turn around anddid the same thing created your
own list.
I just wanna give you kudos forthat.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
You're pretty awesome .
That's very sweet, but thewhole goal of the blog was to
share exactly what helped usrepair Cause we were in a very,
very dark place where we werenot sure there was going to be a
future.
So when we came out of thatdark place that was the whole
goal of starting the blog was Iwanted to tell everybody what
(08:20):
worked for us, because maybe itcould help other people too.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Sure, sure, you know what I think back these
questions.
I think part of why they're soconnecting for us is because it
takes us back to the datingphase.
It takes us back when we'rejust getting to know each other.
And it was so exciting justgetting to know each other.
And even though we may knowsome of the answers to these, we
always kind of dig a little bitdeeper on some of these and
(08:45):
it's like getting to know eachother again, over and over and
over.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, and one thing that people reminded me of some
people reminded me of in thecomments of this particular
video where you change as you gothrough different phases of
your life.
So when you and I got married,we were very different people.
Then We've had such differentexperiences in our interests or
(09:10):
our likes and dislikes andthings like that have changed.
So the truth is, many times Ithink I know the answer, but you
surprised me all the time.
I learned new things about youall the time and even if I do
know the answer, we still likelaugh or giggle about it or it
inspires this really longconversation.
So back to the reason why we didit it was to really take
control of these date nights, toremember that date night is for
(09:33):
connection.
If you are putting in the timeand the effort and the money to
go on date night which isprecious time, especially when
you have little kids at home Iunderstand and we understood how
precious that was then makesure that you're protecting that
date night, and one of the waysto do that is to make sure that
(09:54):
triggers are not a part of theconversation.
Now, that doesn't mean that youdon't talk about triggers or
you don't talk about theseimportant topics?
Absolutely, you do, but Ipersonally don't feel like date
night is the night to do that.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I'm curious, Tammy, why do you think this was such a
triggering post for the otherside?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I think this particular list of questions
triggered people because theyare deep, connecting questions.
So I got people saying theywere cheesy, or I got people
saying I would never want mywife to ask me these questions,
or a lot of people who just Ifeel are very uncomfortable with
(10:37):
vulnerability, digging deep,keeping things on the surface,
and what I feel really shinedthrough is that a lot of people
are very, very unhappy in theirmarriages and when you bring up
personal questions like thisthat make people think about
(10:59):
that unhappiness for instance,the first question being yeah,
the first question is where isyour happy place?
I think that it brings up a lotof anger for people, a lot of
bitterness, and I got a lot ofwomen saying men would their
(11:20):
husbands would never answerthose questions.
I sadly got a lot of womensaying their husbands would say
don't ask me those stupidquestions and many women saying
they were just way toouncomfortable.
It really triggered so manycomments so I just could not
believe.
And so many people are likethank you, I love this, I'm
(11:42):
saving this, I can't wait to dothis on our next date night.
So I think what it reallypinpoint it is if you're asking
deep questions like this, itdoesn't work for people who are
unhappy period.
So when I say these can helpyou fall in love again, people
are saying, well, thesequestions aren't gonna make me
fall in love again because I'mbitter and unhappy, and give me
(12:04):
a break.
What it is gonna do is helppeople fall in love again or
feel those flutters again.
For people who are maybe justfeeling disconnected, who love
their partner, who maybe missthem, who are just life has
gotten crazy and they've gotkids going on, these are the
kinds of questions for them.
They will help you feel moreconnected to your partner.
(12:27):
They will help potentially feelthose flutters again.
I can't tell you.
Several people said why do Itear up when I read these
questions?
Because they're touching andthey either remind you that you
love your partner so much andyou feel lucky and you want to
reconnect, or they remind you ofhow you wish it was better, you
(12:50):
wish it was different.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, I.
Just for those of you thataren't familiar with the post,
first of all, definitely go toInstagram.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yes, it's titled.
10 Questions to Help you Fallin Love Again.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Look for the post that has millions and millions
and millions of views.
That's what you're gonna findit but-.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Honestly, just Joel and I eating a meal.
The questions are listed in thecomment or in the description.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
But I just want to read to just like three other
ones off this.
There's 10 questions on thislist and I just want to read to
you and give my thoughts on thispart.
What is your ideal date night?
What are three things on yourbucket list?
What do you love most about us?
I mean to me, when I read thosequestions, my first thought is,
(13:33):
like you know, we've done thisbefore.
I mean, yeah, I'm sure theseare questions you asked me and
I've asked you over ourrelationship.
I get excited when I hear thoseand I want to share them with
you and I want to tell you whatI love most about us.
And I want to talk about ourongoing bucket list we have and
where my happy place is andthat's like so important for me
(13:57):
and I know I'm not the only oneout there that feel this way and
it really really, really breaksmy heart that there's a whole
other side that was so just.
I mean angry, I mean I'm justgoing to put it as the easiest
word was angry Ugly, reallyangry and ugly.
(14:19):
Yeah about this.
It breaks my heart because Ijust like, oh my goodness,
something's going on to have alist like this trigger those
feelings.
Yeah, obviously it's not thelist, it's what's deep down.
It brings up yeah, yeah, whatit brings up and it just it
makes me so sad.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yeah too.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
It was heartbreaking.
It was hard not to.
It is hard because I'm stillgoing through comments, but it
was hard not to get sucked intothe negativity.
But I do want to say thank youto all the people who it did
feel helpful to and who told methank you, and that many people
who said I took this immediatelyand went and asked my partner,
(15:04):
I printed this out and I'mtaking it to their next date
night.
You know, we had this inspiredpillow talk or we had such an
amazing conversation with these.
Thank you so much.
So I'm remembering that thereare many people who it is
helpful and for those who itbrought up a lot of feelings, I
really do hope that they findhelp or let go, or I hope they
(15:29):
find their own happiness.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
The majority of the comments are very positive, but
it's funny how you know you geta thousand.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
There were a lot of bad.
It's a lot of, okay, I'm gonnabe honest.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Maybe the majority weren't cut.
They brought up a lot of things, okay, so how can people use
these conversation starters toimprove or to make better?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Before I get into the reminders if you would like
your own copy of these questions, you don't have to go to
Instagram for them.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
If you don't want to, I put no people should go to
Instagram so that they couldfollow you, because you're
dropping fire content.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
You're very sweet baby, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
So go to Instagram right now and follow Mary the
Naked, but go ahead.
Sorry, I interrupted.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I also am going to put a link to an opt-in where
you send me your email and I'llsend you a PDF of these
questions so you can know whatwe're talking about.
You can print them out.
You can take them with you toyour next date night if you want
.
Now, you and I tend to usethese on date night, but you can
use them at any time.
You can use them in any timeyou wanna spark conversation, or
(16:36):
it doesn't have to be datenight.
That's another thing peoplewould give me a hard time about
is because I said it was 10questions and I said take them
on date night, and then peopleare like that's too many
questions, or whatever.
So what I wanna say is there'sno rules.
There's no rules.
You use them if you want to.
You don't have to use them.
You can ask one or two,whatever you wanna do, whatever
(16:56):
serves your relationship.
That's the goal.
This is just what works for us,that I'm sharing.
That is not how it has to be.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Well, and I was stating when we started this, I
remember in the beginning wecouldn't even get to the full
list of questions.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Exactly, it just depends.
It depends on the questions.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
That wasn't the point , to get to all the questions.
The point was to connect.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Right.
So if you would like your owncopy, go to the link.
I'm gonna put it in thedescription notes of this
particular episode and you cangive me your email and I will
send that immediately off to you.
So here we go.
Three reminders for when usingconversation starters.
Number one you want to pick agood time.
Now we're talking about thatright here.
(17:35):
We're talking about you and Itend to use them on date night.
We use these on date night fortwo reasons Number one, because
it helps us keep theconversation on the two of us.
And number two, because we'reboth feeling good on those date
nights.
(17:56):
It's a really good time to havethese conversations because you
and I are in a good place.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah, walls are down.
Exactly, Issues are left athome.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Do not ask these questions, or any questions like
that, when your spouse isfeeling high stress or that
you're just kind of doing it outof the blue and suddenly
they're feeling likeinterrogated, or where is this
coming from, or what are youtrying to get at, or they're
getting suspicious.
Pick a time that feels good,that feels light.
(18:27):
Do you know what I mean?
Where it's not heavy.
I think when you're in a goodmood or you're having fun or
you're in a good place, you'regonna be much more open to
enjoying the process rather thanbeing skeptical of a process.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, Just the fact that there's skepticism in this
just makes me scratch my head.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
But a lot of people said I've been married, let's
say, 45 years.
Many people I've been married45 years.
I've never asked my spousequestions like these.
I'm excited to do that.
So I think you and I everycouple you live in kind of this
little bubble of your world andit's hard to remember that.
People work through the worldin different ways than you, and
(19:07):
that doesn't mean they're anunhappy couple.
It just means they just don'tcommunicate the way you and I do
.
So I think that's okay.
I just want everybody toconsider when and how you're
going about asking these andjust make sure we're doing it
when people are feeling good andfeeling happy and light, and
(19:29):
pick good timing.
Pick good timing, yes.
The second thing to remind youabout is and I think the
absolute most important thing isthat these are not created for
you to judge your partner'sanswers.
Let me say that again.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I'm sorry, what'd you say?
Speaker 1 (19:47):
They are not created for you to judge your partner's
answers.
If you have this list in yourhand or any conversation
starters and you're immediatelythinking, oh, I'm probably not
gonna like what he says, or I'mgonna argue with what he says,
or imagining what he's gonna sayand you're arguing with it in
your head.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
We never do that.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
You gotta shut that down, or these just don't even
do it, because it will cause anargument.
That's not what these are for.
These are made to learn, so youcan learn more about your
partner, so you can feel moreconnected.
They are not created forjudgment, they're created for
learning.
So please remember that,because you will set yourself up
(20:32):
for an argument if you're goinginto it with that purpose.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, that's a great tip.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
We do not judge each other's answers.
We'll laugh or giggle orwhatever.
We do not judge them.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Or question like like oh, tell me more, yeah, tell me
more.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Oh, I didn't know that.
You know like, why is that?
Yeah, Exactly, but not judgment.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Exactly, trying to understand actually the complete
opposite.
Exactly Like, help meunderstand that.
Like, oh wow, I didn't knowthat.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Yes, because I guarantee you go in with
judgment.
It's over, You're not going tohave this process again.
And if you're going in withjudgment, it's a big sign as to
how you're communicating and howit might not be working for you
.
So really pay attention to that.
And the third reminder is tohave fun.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Heck yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Have fun with them.
They're not meant to be aninterrogation.
So many men were, I feel, sothreatened by the idea of their
wife bringing these questions tothem and maybe that's because
their wives tend to interrogatethem with questions, I don't
know.
But please just approach thisin a fun, light-hearted way.
(21:37):
They're not made to be used asammunition against your spouse
in any way or as proof oh, youdon't love me enough or you
don't do this right enough.
They're just made to be fun.
These particular questions aredeep, but if these don't work
for you, you don't want to askdeep questions.
(21:57):
Don't ask the deep questions.
Ask fun questions.
Go and look for conversationstarters that are fun and silly,
like the ones you and I weresaying in the beginning.
Talk about those things.
If you need to kind of easeyour way into this kind of
conversation, this is reallyuncomfortable for you.
You guys have never done thisbefore.
Try that.
Let's think of five questions,babe, that they can ask each
(22:18):
other that are fun.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
All right, so five questions.
Well, let's go.
If we can go anywhere within anhour's drive, where do we go?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
I would go for some vegan food, because we have
nothing around here.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
OK.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Let's say we go to Montes Burgers where they have
vegan burgers.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
And Riverside?
Yes, so locally here, riverside, montes Burgers, boom, go ahead
.
What do you got for me?
Speaker 1 (22:43):
What is one country you've always dreamed of
visiting?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Oh, my gosh, Just one .
Oh, I just had thisconversation with our neighbor
Iceland.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Ooh, iceland, iceland , why?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Iceland.
Well, the Orel Borealis.
Am I saying it right, OrelBorealis?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Orel Borealis.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Absolutely, absolutely.
I can't even say absolutelycorrect.
They took a trip there, stayedin ice, igloo and they got to
see it 100% on my bucket list.
And in that movie with BenStiller.
What was the name of that movie?
Or he, oh Walter?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Middy, walter Middy, where he did the skateboarding.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Oh, beautiful landscape.
Yes, so there we go, iceland.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Love that.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
OK, by the way, we do not have anything written,
we're just firing them off toeach other.
Ok, what is the most amount ofmoney you've ever had in your
pocket, and why?
In my pocket, like walking therest Very little, the most like
the most amount.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
I imagine maybe a couple hundred dollars one time,
you know, like going onvacation I probably stashed like
a couple of hundreds in mypocket, like I don't really like
I don't feel comfortablewalking around with a lot of
money.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I can help answer this question for you.
Oh really, yes, it was onvacation and I stuffed $400.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Okay, in my back pocket, in your back pocket?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Okay, yes, and that was recently, by the way, oh yes
, in another country.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
so yes, I like that question.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Even though I couldn't answer it.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I heard another couple ask this question.
I don't know why.
I found it entertaining.
I think I know the answer tothis what is your favorite
condiment?
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Oh, my favorite condiment.
Oh, I wonder if you would know.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
I'm gonna guess Okay, give me okay, and then you can
tell me if I'm right.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Let me just double check make sure I'm not missing
anything.
It's just sticking there.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Let's say it at the same time.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Oh shoot, are you ready?
Speaker 1 (24:39):
One, two, three Barbecue sauce, ah.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Oh, dude, we're high-fiving, we just high-fived
barbecue sauce I knew that oneDang it, that's a good one.
Okay, we got one more.
One more Gosh.
I like that one.
Let me do okay, tammy, yourfavorite movie All Time.
All Time favorite movie.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
You know, this just isn't a fair question.
They're just so many good,romantic.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
let me narrow down the category, that's all.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I watch at romcoms.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
No, no, I didn't say romcom, I'm gonna say rom-.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
They said romantic, Okay, romantic.
I did say romcom.
Of course it's a romcom.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Okay, I'm gonna guess it and then you think about it
for a minute, okay, Ready.
Okay, we're gonna say ittogether.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yes, oh, that's kind of fun.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
All right, ready One, two, three.
When Harry and Midsommi go whenHarry and Midsommi go.
Okay, we're a little cornyright now.
This has gotten corny.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
I'm telling you right now this will be a future post,
because this is really fun.
This is really fun.
Let's do this as a game.
Oh my gosh.
We did good.
So there you go.
That's all it needs to be, andthat's what we do often.
We haven't done that same time.
Let's say the same time, but Ireally like that idea.
I've never done that, but that'sall it needs to be.
Doesn't have to be deep.
If you don't like that, don'tdo it.
(25:51):
If you do do it, do it both.
So three reminders Pick a goodtime, don't judge your spouse's
answers, and just have fun.
For all of those out there orwho are looking for some way to
make sure those date nights aremore connected, that you're
having more fun, that you'retaking all the garbage off the
table, not letting it penetratethose special times, this is a
(26:13):
really good strategy.
Conversation starters.
Download your free printout.
It's in the description.
If you have a hard time findingthat, go to my Instagram page.
It's in my profile link.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
But you can only do it if you like it.
Like her Instagram page, Sorrysame spot.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Oh my goodness, look at him.
I'm so proud of you.
That'll do it.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Thank you so much for all thenew listeners I'm so happy to
have you here and for all thosedie hard listeners who have been
with us for all these years.
I love you guys so much and I'mso grateful for you.
And that'll do it.
(26:50):
We'll talk to you next time onthe Married and Naked podcast.
Bye, everybody wegen.
Welcome to the Married to Naked podcast.
I'm Tammy, founder of the blogMarried to Naked, certified
sexuality coach and speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Joel, tv host , motivational speaker and the
guinea pig to the lessons you'reabout to learn.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We're high school sweethearts, married over two
decades, and we're on a missionto help you create the marriage
you desire and deserve.
Let's get naked.
Welcome in to the Married toNaked podcast.
Everybody Happy to have youhere with us today.
I miss sitting in the seats.
It's been a little bit.
It's been a little bit.
It's been a little bit it'sbeen a little bit, it feels like
(00:35):
a really long time.
It hasn't been that long, butit certainly feels like it, like
time is just flying by.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm sure we're not the only ones that feel this way
as well, but the closer to theend of the year we get, I just
feel like I mean you turn a pageand five days went by.
You know what I mean 100%.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I could not even believe October was gone on the
31st.
I was shocked by it.
You did I feel like it took mecompletely by surprise.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Hope you guys are doing wonderful.
I am excited about today'stopic, babe.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, I am.
I love this stuff.
You know that I'm reallyexcited about this topic because
, first of all, it's verytopical and it's also polarizing
.
We did not realize that thiswas a polarizing topic.
You recently shared a post onInstagram that first of all
exploded for your page.
I mean millions and millions ofviews on this post and it was
(01:28):
on questions that we ask eachother, and it became polarizing.
People took a side on this.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Well, the post was 10 questions to help you fall in
love again, and they wereconnecting conversation starters
essentially.
And one of the reasons I sharedthat is because this is kind of
a habit for you and I, that weuse conversation starters all
the time.
So I thought it'd be fun toshare that idea with others and
(01:57):
also, in the description,sharing how and why you and I
use them.
And I was completely surprisedby I think we both were.
By the comments.
They were either I love this orI hate this.
I have seen the best and theworst of the internet in the
(02:17):
comments section of this post,but my intention was to remind
people that simple practiceslike asking each other deep,
connecting questions can reallyhelp reignite or bring back some
of those feelings that you feelin the beginning when you're
dating each other and getting toknow each other, and I think
(02:40):
that those are really importantpractices as you go through your
entire marriage.
So that was the whole reasonbehind posting that.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I was really surprised at the opposite side
of that.
The people that hated it didn'tlike it at all, Because it is
one of our favorite things to do.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
That's what I wanna talk about today, because
clearly people are interested inthis particular topic.
They are interested in having alist of questions.
They are interested in fallingin love with their spouse.
Again, they're interested increating happy and healthy
marriages and finding strategiesto do that.
(03:20):
This is one that's had a reallybig positive impact on our
marriage and we continue to useregularly.
So I wanted to talk about howwe use conversation starters,
why we use them, and then I alsowanna give three reminders
about how to use theseconversation starters.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
So let's talk about how the idea of using
conversation starters came aboutfor you and I.
When you and I were struggling,one thing I noticed was we would
go on date night occasionally.
We didn't have like a reallygood regular thing, but when we
did get time to go on date night, what would most often happen
(03:59):
is we would wind up bickering orwind up in an argument and then
come home feeling morefrustrated and disconnected than
ever.
And one of the things werealized when we were trying to
repair our marriage and reallywe were kind of digging in and
really analyzing what's notworking and why is this not
(04:21):
working One of the things werealized is that on these date
nights, the majority of ourconversation would be about work
, and for you and I that's atouchy subject.
Because we work together, wework at home, we work in the
same office, we run businessestogether.
It can be a very touchy subject.
We would talk about the kidsand especially at that time when
(04:44):
our kids were young, we wouldhave differing opinions about
how to handle things, how todiscipline, and that would cause
an argument.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Or one of our other favorite topics would be a
sinkhole known as.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Finances or money.
Yeah, let me tell you, asinkhole, and that wasn't even
like we couldn't even just talkabout it.
That just immediately led to anargument.
So, when we were reallyanalyzing these date nights and
realizing this is why we'rearguing all the time one of the
things that I suggested was whydon't we make a rule on our date
(05:21):
nights where we do not allowthese conversations, we don't
talk about these triggers, andthat's what we started to do.
So the question everybody askedis if you don't talk about that,
what else is there to talkabout?
Because what else is thereright?
It's all about work and the kidsand money or you know, the
in-laws are all these triggerthings that's usually what
(05:42):
conversation's about.
So I don't know why or how, butsomehow I got inspired to go to
the internet and I downloadedand printed off some
conversation starters.
I thought this would be a funway to kind of redirect these
date nights so that we don'ttalk about those things and we
(06:02):
talk about more fun thingsinstead.
That was really the goal.
Really, the goal was to comeback feeling good and not
terrible after all of our datenights.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Absolutely, and I remember feeling connected to
you because the questions are soinspiring.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Well, they weren't just inspiring, we were having
fun with them, we were askingsilly questions.
I don't know in the beginning,honestly, can't remember
specifically, but I imagine inthe beginning they were pretty
hearted, like if you had asuperpower, what would you want
it to be, or what would anotherone be?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Well, I know.
Another one was we would alwaysplay with it because money is a
sinkhole for us.
So we would do the opposite.
Say, hey, if there was anunlimited amount of money, if
you won the lottery, if you wonthe lottery or if you had to
spend $10,000 in two hours, whatwould you do?
And you couldn't spend it onyourself, right, but stuff like
that.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, we would just have fun.
We were looking for fun thingsand I think we started to see
like, oh, this is what datenight can be.
It can actually be fun and wecan come back from it feeling
connected.
So we just kept doing it.
We just kept.
You would start looking upconversations on your starters
on your phone and then, not toolong after, when I realized what
(07:20):
an impact this was having and Istarted the married and naked
blog, I created date nightquestions for the blog and then
you and I would print those outand we would take those on our
date nights.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
You know, hold on.
I got a pause right there.
I got a shameless plug, becausethat's not why we're doing this
, but you just said somethingthat like never dawned on me.
You figured out how to help uswith appreciation is to take a
journal and write words ofappreciation to each other.
And then you created your ownjournal.
And then we were doing these,downloading anything we can find
off the internet, and we'rerealizing we're gonna come up
(07:51):
with better questions.
And then you turn around anddid the same thing created your
own list.
I just wanna give you kudos forthat.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
You're pretty awesome .
That's very sweet, but thewhole goal of the blog was to
share exactly what helped usrepair Cause we were in a very,
very dark place where we werenot sure there was going to be a
future.
So when we came out of thatdark place that was the whole
goal of starting the blog was Iwanted to tell everybody what
(08:20):
worked for us, because maybe itcould help other people too.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Sure, sure, you know what I think back these
questions.
I think part of why they're soconnecting for us is because it
takes us back to the datingphase.
It takes us back when we'rejust getting to know each other.
And it was so exciting justgetting to know each other.
And even though we may knowsome of the answers to these, we
always kind of dig a little bitdeeper on some of these and
(08:45):
it's like getting to know eachother again, over and over and
over.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, and one thing that people reminded me of some
people reminded me of in thecomments of this particular
video where you change as you gothrough different phases of
your life.
So when you and I got married,we were very different people.
Then We've had such differentexperiences in our interests or
(09:10):
our likes and dislikes andthings like that have changed.
So the truth is, many times Ithink I know the answer, but you
surprised me all the time.
I learned new things about youall the time and even if I do
know the answer, we still likelaugh or giggle about it or it
inspires this really longconversation.
So back to the reason why we didit it was to really take
control of these date nights, toremember that date night is for
(09:33):
connection.
If you are putting in the timeand the effort and the money to
go on date night which isprecious time, especially when
you have little kids at home Iunderstand and we understood how
precious that was then makesure that you're protecting that
date night, and one of the waysto do that is to make sure that
(09:54):
triggers are not a part of theconversation.
Now, that doesn't mean that youdon't talk about triggers or
you don't talk about theseimportant topics?
Absolutely, you do, but Ipersonally don't feel like date
night is the night to do that.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I'm curious, Tammy, why do you think this was such a
triggering post for the otherside?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I think this particular list of questions
triggered people because theyare deep, connecting questions.
So I got people saying theywere cheesy, or I got people
saying I would never want mywife to ask me these questions,
or a lot of people who just Ifeel are very uncomfortable with
(10:37):
vulnerability, digging deep,keeping things on the surface,
and what I feel really shinedthrough is that a lot of people
are very, very unhappy in theirmarriages and when you bring up
personal questions like thisthat make people think about
(10:59):
that unhappiness for instance,the first question being yeah,
the first question is where isyour happy place?
I think that it brings up a lotof anger for people, a lot of
bitterness, and I got a lot ofwomen saying men would their
(11:20):
husbands would never answerthose questions.
I sadly got a lot of womensaying their husbands would say
don't ask me those stupidquestions and many women saying
they were just way toouncomfortable.
It really triggered so manycomments so I just could not
believe.
And so many people are likethank you, I love this, I'm
(11:42):
saving this, I can't wait to dothis on our next date night.
So I think what it reallypinpoint it is if you're asking
deep questions like this, itdoesn't work for people who are
unhappy period.
So when I say these can helpyou fall in love again, people
are saying, well, thesequestions aren't gonna make me
fall in love again because I'mbitter and unhappy, and give me
(12:04):
a break.
What it is gonna do is helppeople fall in love again or
feel those flutters again.
For people who are maybe justfeeling disconnected, who love
their partner, who maybe missthem, who are just life has
gotten crazy and they've gotkids going on, these are the
kinds of questions for them.
They will help you feel moreconnected to your partner.
(12:27):
They will help potentially feelthose flutters again.
I can't tell you.
Several people said why do Itear up when I read these
questions?
Because they're touching andthey either remind you that you
love your partner so much andyou feel lucky and you want to
reconnect, or they remind you ofhow you wish it was better, you
(12:50):
wish it was different.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, I.
Just for those of you thataren't familiar with the post,
first of all, definitely go toInstagram.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yes, it's titled.
10 Questions to Help you Fallin Love Again.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Look for the post that has millions and millions
and millions of views.
That's what you're gonna findit but-.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Honestly, just Joel and I eating a meal.
The questions are listed in thecomment or in the description.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
But I just want to read to just like three other
ones off this.
There's 10 questions on thislist and I just want to read to
you and give my thoughts on thispart.
What is your ideal date night?
What are three things on yourbucket list?
What do you love most about us?
I mean to me, when I read thosequestions, my first thought is,
(13:33):
like you know, we've done thisbefore.
I mean, yeah, I'm sure theseare questions you asked me and
I've asked you over ourrelationship.
I get excited when I hear thoseand I want to share them with
you and I want to tell you whatI love most about us.
And I want to talk about ourongoing bucket list we have and
where my happy place is andthat's like so important for me
(13:57):
and I know I'm not the only oneout there that feel this way and
it really really, really breaksmy heart that there's a whole
other side that was so just.
I mean angry, I mean I'm justgoing to put it as the easiest
word was angry Ugly, reallyangry and ugly.
(14:19):
Yeah about this.
It breaks my heart because Ijust like, oh my goodness,
something's going on to have alist like this trigger those
feelings.
Yeah, obviously it's not thelist, it's what's deep down.
It brings up yeah, yeah, whatit brings up and it just it
makes me so sad.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yeah too.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
It was heartbreaking.
It was hard not to.
It is hard because I'm stillgoing through comments, but it
was hard not to get sucked intothe negativity.
But I do want to say thank youto all the people who it did
feel helpful to and who told methank you, and that many people
who said I took this immediatelyand went and asked my partner,
(15:04):
I printed this out and I'mtaking it to their next date
night.
You know, we had this inspiredpillow talk or we had such an
amazing conversation with these.
Thank you so much.
So I'm remembering that thereare many people who it is
helpful and for those who itbrought up a lot of feelings, I
really do hope that they findhelp or let go, or I hope they
(15:29):
find their own happiness.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
The majority of the comments are very positive, but
it's funny how you know you geta thousand.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
There were a lot of bad.
It's a lot of, okay, I'm gonnabe honest.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Maybe the majority weren't cut.
They brought up a lot of things, okay, so how can people use
these conversation starters toimprove or to make better?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Before I get into the reminders if you would like
your own copy of these questions, you don't have to go to
Instagram for them.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
If you don't want to, I put no people should go to
Instagram so that they couldfollow you, because you're
dropping fire content.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
You're very sweet baby, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
So go to Instagram right now and follow Mary the
Naked, but go ahead.
Sorry, I interrupted.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I also am going to put a link to an opt-in where
you send me your email and I'llsend you a PDF of these
questions so you can know whatwe're talking about.
You can print them out.
You can take them with you toyour next date night if you want
.
Now, you and I tend to usethese on date night, but you can
use them at any time.
You can use them in any timeyou wanna spark conversation, or
(16:36):
it doesn't have to be datenight.
That's another thing peoplewould give me a hard time about
is because I said it was 10questions and I said take them
on date night, and then peopleare like that's too many
questions, or whatever.
So what I wanna say is there'sno rules.
There's no rules.
You use them if you want to.
You don't have to use them.
You can ask one or two,whatever you wanna do, whatever
(16:56):
serves your relationship.
That's the goal.
This is just what works for us,that I'm sharing.
That is not how it has to be.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Well, and I was stating when we started this, I
remember in the beginning wecouldn't even get to the full
list of questions.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Exactly, it just depends.
It depends on the questions.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
That wasn't the point , to get to all the questions.
The point was to connect.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Right.
So if you would like your owncopy, go to the link.
I'm gonna put it in thedescription notes of this
particular episode and you cangive me your email and I will
send that immediately off to you.
So here we go.
Three reminders for when usingconversation starters.
Number one you want to pick agood time.
Now we're talking about thatright here.
(17:35):
We're talking about you and Itend to use them on date night.
We use these on date night fortwo reasons Number one, because
it helps us keep theconversation on the two of us.
And number two, because we'reboth feeling good on those date
nights.
(17:56):
It's a really good time to havethese conversations because you
and I are in a good place.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah, walls are down.
Exactly, Issues are left athome.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Do not ask these questions, or any questions like
that, when your spouse isfeeling high stress or that
you're just kind of doing it outof the blue and suddenly
they're feeling likeinterrogated, or where is this
coming from, or what are youtrying to get at, or they're
getting suspicious.
Pick a time that feels good,that feels light.
(18:27):
Do you know what I mean?
Where it's not heavy.
I think when you're in a goodmood or you're having fun or
you're in a good place, you'regonna be much more open to
enjoying the process rather thanbeing skeptical of a process.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, Just the fact that there's skepticism in this
just makes me scratch my head.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
But a lot of people said I've been married, let's
say, 45 years.
Many people I've been married45 years.
I've never asked my spousequestions like these.
I'm excited to do that.
So I think you and I everycouple you live in kind of this
little bubble of your world andit's hard to remember that.
People work through the worldin different ways than you, and
(19:07):
that doesn't mean they're anunhappy couple.
It just means they just don'tcommunicate the way you and I do
.
So I think that's okay.
I just want everybody toconsider when and how you're
going about asking these andjust make sure we're doing it
when people are feeling good andfeeling happy and light, and
(19:29):
pick good timing.
Pick good timing, yes.
The second thing to remind youabout is and I think the
absolute most important thing isthat these are not created for
you to judge your partner'sanswers.
Let me say that again.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I'm sorry, what'd you say?
Speaker 1 (19:47):
They are not created for you to judge your partner's
answers.
If you have this list in yourhand or any conversation
starters and you're immediatelythinking, oh, I'm probably not
gonna like what he says, or I'mgonna argue with what he says,
or imagining what he's gonna sayand you're arguing with it in
your head.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
We never do that.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
You gotta shut that down, or these just don't even
do it, because it will cause anargument.
That's not what these are for.
These are made to learn, so youcan learn more about your
partner, so you can feel moreconnected.
They are not created forjudgment, they're created for
learning.
So please remember that,because you will set yourself up
(20:32):
for an argument if you're goinginto it with that purpose.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, that's a great tip.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
We do not judge each other's answers.
We'll laugh or giggle orwhatever.
We do not judge them.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Or question like like oh, tell me more, yeah, tell me
more.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Oh, I didn't know that.
You know like, why is that?
Yeah, Exactly, but not judgment.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Exactly, trying to understand actually the complete
opposite.
Exactly Like, help meunderstand that.
Like, oh wow, I didn't knowthat.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Yes, because I guarantee you go in with
judgment.
It's over, You're not going tohave this process again.
And if you're going in withjudgment, it's a big sign as to
how you're communicating and howit might not be working for you
.
So really pay attention to that.
And the third reminder is tohave fun.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Heck yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Have fun with them.
They're not meant to be aninterrogation.
So many men were, I feel, sothreatened by the idea of their
wife bringing these questions tothem and maybe that's because
their wives tend to interrogatethem with questions, I don't
know.
But please just approach thisin a fun, light-hearted way.
(21:37):
They're not made to be used asammunition against your spouse
in any way or as proof oh, youdon't love me enough or you
don't do this right enough.
They're just made to be fun.
These particular questions aredeep, but if these don't work
for you, you don't want to askdeep questions.
(21:57):
Don't ask the deep questions.
Ask fun questions.
Go and look for conversationstarters that are fun and silly,
like the ones you and I weresaying in the beginning.
Talk about those things.
If you need to kind of easeyour way into this kind of
conversation, this is reallyuncomfortable for you.
You guys have never done thisbefore.
Try that.
Let's think of five questions,babe, that they can ask each
(22:18):
other that are fun.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
All right, so five questions.
Well, let's go.
If we can go anywhere within anhour's drive, where do we go?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
I would go for some vegan food, because we have
nothing around here.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
OK.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Let's say we go to Montes Burgers where they have
vegan burgers.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
And Riverside?
Yes, so locally here, riverside, montes Burgers, boom, go ahead
.
What do you got for me?
Speaker 1 (22:43):
What is one country you've always dreamed of
visiting?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Oh, my gosh, Just one .
Oh, I just had thisconversation with our neighbor
Iceland.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Ooh, iceland, iceland , why?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Iceland.
Well, the Orel Borealis.
Am I saying it right, OrelBorealis?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Orel Borealis.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Absolutely, absolutely.
I can't even say absolutelycorrect.
They took a trip there, stayedin ice, igloo and they got to
see it 100% on my bucket list.
And in that movie with BenStiller.
What was the name of that movie?
Or he, oh Walter?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Middy, walter Middy, where he did the skateboarding.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Oh, beautiful landscape.
Yes, so there we go, iceland.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Love that.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
OK, by the way, we do not have anything written,
we're just firing them off toeach other.
Ok, what is the most amount ofmoney you've ever had in your
pocket, and why?
In my pocket, like walking therest Very little, the most like
the most amount.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
I imagine maybe a couple hundred dollars one time,
you know, like going onvacation I probably stashed like
a couple of hundreds in mypocket, like I don't really like
I don't feel comfortablewalking around with a lot of
money.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I can help answer this question for you.
Oh really, yes, it was onvacation and I stuffed $400.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Okay, in my back pocket, in your back pocket?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Okay, yes, and that was recently, by the way, oh yes
, in another country.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
so yes, I like that question.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Even though I couldn't answer it.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I heard another couple ask this question.
I don't know why.
I found it entertaining.
I think I know the answer tothis what is your favorite
condiment?
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Oh, my favorite condiment.
Oh, I wonder if you would know.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
I'm gonna guess Okay, give me okay, and then you can
tell me if I'm right.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Let me just double check make sure I'm not missing
anything.
It's just sticking there.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Let's say it at the same time.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Oh shoot, are you ready?
Speaker 1 (24:39):
One, two, three Barbecue sauce, ah.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Oh, dude, we're high-fiving, we just high-fived
barbecue sauce I knew that oneDang it, that's a good one.
Okay, we got one more.
One more Gosh.
I like that one.
Let me do okay, tammy, yourfavorite movie All Time.
All Time favorite movie.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
You know, this just isn't a fair question.
They're just so many good,romantic.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
let me narrow down the category, that's all.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I watch at romcoms.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
No, no, I didn't say romcom, I'm gonna say rom-.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
They said romantic, Okay, romantic.
I did say romcom.
Of course it's a romcom.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Okay, I'm gonna guess it and then you think about it
for a minute, okay, Ready.
Okay, we're gonna say ittogether.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yes, oh, that's kind of fun.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
All right, ready One, two, three.
When Harry and Midsommi go whenHarry and Midsommi go.
Okay, we're a little cornyright now.
This has gotten corny.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
I'm telling you right now this will be a future post,
because this is really fun.
This is really fun.
Let's do this as a game.
Oh my gosh.
We did good.
So there you go.
That's all it needs to be, andthat's what we do often.
We haven't done that same time.
Let's say the same time, but Ireally like that idea.
I've never done that, but that'sall it needs to be.
Doesn't have to be deep.
If you don't like that, don'tdo it.
(25:51):
If you do do it, do it both.
So three reminders Pick a goodtime, don't judge your spouse's
answers, and just have fun.
For all of those out there orwho are looking for some way to
make sure those date nights aremore connected, that you're
having more fun, that you'retaking all the garbage off the
table, not letting it penetratethose special times, this is a
(26:13):
really good strategy.
Conversation starters.
Download your free printout.
It's in the description.
If you have a hard time findingthat, go to my Instagram page.
It's in my profile link.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
But you can only do it if you like it.
Like her Instagram page, Sorrysame spot.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Oh my goodness, look at him.
I'm so proud of you.
That'll do it.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Thank you so much for all thenew listeners I'm so happy to
have you here and for all thosedie hard listeners who have been
with us for all these years.
I love you guys so much and I'mso grateful for you.
And that'll do it.
(26:50):
We'll talk to you next time onthe Married and Naked podcast.
Bye, everybody wegen.
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