September 22, 2023 • 30 mins
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From High School Sweethearts to 25 years!
Today we are sharing some of our special moments from our vow renewal ceremony and celebration in Cancun. A true dream come true. It was a breathtaking scene as we reaffirmed our love in what turned out to be a day to remember.
Also, vow renewal curse? Is that a real thing? And why we took our chances anyway.
Here's to 25 years and a life filled with unforgettable moments.
Grab your set of the Married and Naked Date Night Questions For Couples card deck HERE
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Married in Naked podcast.
I'm Tammy, founder of the blogMarried in Naked, certified
sexuality coach and speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm Joel, tv host, motivational speaker and the
guinea pig to the lessons you'reabout to learn.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We're high school sweethearts, married over two
decades, and we're on a missionto help you create the marriage
you desire and deserve.
Let's get naked.
Welcome into the Married inNaked podcast everybody.
Hi, baby.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hey baby, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
How's it going?
How's it going to you?
I said hi, baby, you did Hibaby, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Oh my goodness, a lot , a lot, yes.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
I'm excited to talk about this one.
All right, what are?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
we going to talk about.
Why don't we just jump rightinto it.
Okay, how about that?
Let's do it.
No chit chat, just jumpingright into it, okay, but first
no, I'm kidding, I'm totallykidding.
So what we thought we would dois we thought we would do one a
little bit about our 25 yearanniversary remarriage.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Renew all of ours?
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It's so weird because I did a post on one of my
social media channels sayingthat I'm getting remarried and I
had several people going oh,what happened to your wife?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, you don't say remarried.
Yeah, I realized you don't.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
So I had to actually pull it down as soon as two
people messaged saying whathappened to Tammy Is Tammy okay?
And I'm like no, no, no,renewal of my marriage.
Oh, totally different, totallydifferent.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
So we celebrated our 25 year wedding anniversary.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah 25 year wedding anniversary.
34 years together as a couplethat's insane.
You and I both get the sameface.
We're like, oh, that's a littleinsane.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Just because it makes me feel old, not because I'm
tired of you.
Sometimes I'm tired of you.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
You're definitely tired of me, a lot more than the
times nowadays than ever.
But no, you're right.
I mean dang, we've beentogether forever, literally.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yeah, how lucky are we.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, I totally agree with you.
So we decided a long time agothat we were going to renew our
vows in one of our favoritespots, and that was Cancun.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
We knew 25 years.
We wanted to renew our vows.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah, and we've known this for probably about five
years, yeah, and then, as youget closer and closer, like, is
it really going to happen?
Is it going to happen?
And we decided, we committed toit and we did it and it was
freaking awesome.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
It was awesome.
We brought some friends, acouple of friends and some close
family with us and we gotremarried.
We renewed our vows on thebeautiful beach in Cancun, Truly
like.
It was spectacular.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, so it's funny because before we got there, we
didn't know what was going tohappen.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yes, and we had worked with a coordinator prior
to going.
For like a year We've beengoing kind of back and forth,
just like you would for anyother wedding, but on a much,
much smaller scale.
There was only 15 of us total.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
The emails weren't like immediate.
So when you call a weddingcoordinator that's local, that
you're working with, they'repretty immediate.
They're pretty.
You usually have their cellphone and you're contacting them
and you're texting them andyou're getting texts back.
We would send an email and aweek later we might get a
response.
And so as we were gettingcloser and closer, it was
getting a little like what arewe getting?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What was going to happen, which, looking back, was
kind of the fun of it, becausewe really had no idea what to
expect.
I really just pictured you andI standing on the beach barefoot
we both wanted to be barefootand I kind of thought our
friends or family would just bekind of standing around us and
we'd say our vows and then offwe'd go.
The one thing that was reallyimportant to me I really wanted
(03:56):
to have a dinner afterwards.
I just wanted to all betogether and go to dinner.
So that's really what myexpectation was.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, and as we're preparing and trying to prep
with our coordinator, we weren'tcertain that we were going to
be able to make that happen,Like that was the most important
thing for you.
So we get there and again, Ican't say enough the place was
spectacular.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
It is a very beautiful resort.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Very beautiful resort , and when we finally met our
coordinator in person,everything just calmed down.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
We're like oh my gosh okay.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Everything's gonna be okay yeah that's great.
And then she walked us out towhere we were gonna get married
and what happened to you and I?
We were just like no way.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yeah, it just kind of felt like nothing else really
mattered.
I wasn't very wrapped.
Just like you know, in thefirst time you get married
you're still wrapped up in likeall the details of it and
everything has to be so perfectand the food has to be right and
Flowers.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
The music has to be everything has to be right.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I didn't get wrapped up in that at all, aside from us
being able to sit together at adinner table.
I didn't get wrapped up in anyof that, which was kind of the
fun of it it was.
It was just very relaxed.
So, whatever it is, we got feltlike a beautiful surprise.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
And boy was it a beautiful surprise.
You know, I don't know ifyou've put any of the pictures
on your socials.
I haven't.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
So, I need to.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
So here we go.
Can you put a couple up therewhen this podcast drops?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yes, I can.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Okay.
So it was on the beach, andwhen I say it was on the beach,
we were literally 10, 15 feetfrom the ocean Water.
It was spent.
We had all these palm treessurrounding us, so we were in
the shade.
We did this at like 6 30 pm, soit was absolutely gorgeous.
(05:52):
So the setting was beautiful.
We felt like we were alone,even though we're in a resort
with a bunch of other people,you know, not far from us, and
they set up our little cocktailhour right there on the beach as
well, and I remember our, myson and I we walked down there
and while they were setting upand I just happened to have this
(06:13):
oh, we didn't tell them abouthow our family is they put out a
bar with I'm not kidding 60 to70 different alcohol drinks.
It's Mexico, it's a bar thing,and all I could think is in the
party that we were in, only oneperson actually drinks like is a
(06:37):
drinker.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Right.
I mean I partake in wine andcocktails on the weekend, but my
brother does love beer, so hedoes have beer daily, but that's
that's it.
Nobody else drank.
Yeah, nobody else drank.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
That's kind of a wasted thing, but it was fun, I
mean it was fun, it was cool tolook at, but all I could think
is they're going through allthis effort and no one's going
to touch any of that stuff thatthey put out there.
So that was kind of a fun, cool, cute thing.
But the ceremony take me, takelike your impression.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I think the thing for me that I felt surprised about,
because I was looking forwardto our trip, I was looking
forward to renewing our vows,but it doesn't feel the same as
getting married.
You know, like I was justlooking forward to it, I knew it
was going to be a good time andit was going to be special.
I got it like a little whitesummer dress.
(07:36):
It was a white summer dress andyou know, everybody looked nice
and what I remember feelingright before it was oh, this
does feel like a wedding.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
It feels so special and I realized how lucky am I
that I get to experience thisfeeling again.
I was so excited, I was nervous.
It just felt surprising to mehow really special it felt.
And it felt like I don't knowexactly what I felt the first
(08:11):
time, but it felt close to that,I was pretty sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I've often said that my favorite day in life and I
forgive me for my kids was ourwedding day.
Yeah, I said that a lot.
It was our wedding day and Iknow exactly why I felt that way
.
Because it was I just.
Nothing else mattered.
Everything was free, theuniverse was lined up to be
perfect and I live.
(08:37):
When I think about great days,I'm like, oh my gosh, it was the
best day ever.
So I had that in the back of mymind like, oh, I just want to
feel that again.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
That's high expectations.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Real high expectations and when I was, you
were getting ready to get ready.
We're in this big beautifulroom that they gave us, which
overlooked where we were aboutto get married, and I remember
walking down there with our sonand walking on the beach and
just going, oh my gosh, this isabsolutely stunning, incredible.
(09:09):
Everything was being set up andI'm making the judgment about
the bar and all the things andthen turning around and looking
at the beach and I'm just like,oh my gosh, this is the most
beautiful day.
This is incredible.
Yeah 20 minutes later, I'mwalking on the beach taking my
daughter's arm.
Devon walks me out on the beachand I take two steps and I look
(09:32):
at my daughter and I startcrying at that moment because
I'm like, oh my gosh, the nexttime I do this with you will
probably be at your wedding.
And I literally had thosethoughts and I just become the
biggest mush pile in the worldand start bawling and it was so
wonderful.
(09:53):
It was so wonderful and youmade an absolute key change that
I didn't give you enough creditfor before, and I know I did
afterwards, but you didn't wantthem to give us the person who
does the ceremony.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
When we bought the package it came with somebody
who was going to perform theceremony.
You don't need somebody who'sordained, obviously, because
we're already married, but itcame with somebody who was going
to do it.
I just had this nagging thingthat I did not want it to be a
stranger.
It made no sense for a vowrenewal.
It makes sense for, maybe, areligious ceremony where you're
(10:34):
getting married under God andall that.
That makes sense If you and I.
It did not make sense to me tohave somebody we did not know
perform that ceremony.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
So you elected to ask one of our family members,
which happened to be ourbrother-in-law, to do the
aficionaut To be the aficion.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
The joke.
He was calling aficionado thecatcher I'm sorry, the umpire.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
And what a stroke of genius.
Tam I mean, our brother-in-lawwas absolutely the perfect
shoo-in for this.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Because he knows us, of course.
Yeah, we needed somebody whoknew us and knew our
relationship and knew the lovethat we have for each other.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
And he's a great speaker too, so that really
helped and he had it all plannedout and it was all written and
catered to us, which was, oh, itwas so incredible to have that
personal touch.
And it did go on forever and itmade sense everything he was
saying.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
So Joel cried the entire ceremony, which was so
sweet.
My brother-in-law had just afew really sweet things to say.
My daughter read a poem that Ihad written for Joel many, many
years ago about us, you know,meeting in the seventh grade and
that was part of the ceremony.
And then we exchanged our ownvows that we had written to each
(11:59):
other.
So mine was several pages longand you just we're off the cuff.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let's back that up for a secondhere I was not.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
I didn't mean to make that sound like it wasn't yours
weren't amazing, they were.
I'm just saying we were verydifferent.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So you?
I started my speech by sayingyou know, we're very different,
we're very opposite in so manythings in our life, including
you are a writer and I am aspeaker, and so your vows are
written.
Mine were spoken without beingwritten, but they were well
rehearsed and well thought out,but your vows are so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Thank you, and yours were too baby.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
You're we, because of you, we elected to actually
have him videoed as well.
Yes, thank goodness, so, thankgoodness, so we'll have.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I'm excited we haven't gotten those yet and we
literally just got our picturesand it's been weeks and weeks,
so I'm excited to look throughall of that.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
So we, we, we had this wonderful ceremony.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
you and I exchanged vows and and it's incredible-
One thing I remember about youknow, standing there reading
vows was looking to our friendsand family standing there.
Everybody was crying, I meanugly crying.
Many of them were ugly cryingand I was like, wow, this is so
special.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
By the way, if you guys are listening, you're
beautiful people.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Oh, absolutely how lucky were we to have people who
, people who feel connected orlove enough or appreciating that
moment enough to really be init with you and feel the emotion
I just felt.
So lucky, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, so we're staring at, we're holding, we're
holding each other's hands,staring at each other the entire
time.
It's magical, absolutelymagical.
I don't know, maybe 20 minutesof ceremony, you and I giving
our vows, and thencongratulations, were remarried
or re-hitched, and then ourdaughter bought us these shot
(13:59):
glasses that said on them here'sto us.
And they're like I guessthey're double shot glasses.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I don't know, I hadn't thought about it until
after that moment, but they werelike tall shot glasses.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
And our wedding coordinator.
As soon as we're done, shereaches out and hands us shot
glasses full of Tequila, tequila, it's Mexico.
It's Mexico.
Everybody makes the joke aboutMexican water.
Get your tequila, your Mexicanwater.
It's Mexico.
Anyways, hand us these glassesand you and I take a picture.
We cheers, and then we proceedto do the shots.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Now I was like.
Joe doesn't really partake inshots very often, Neither do I
actually.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
No, we you're the one of us too.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
No, no, not at all.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
And I mean, like you said, you like a cocktail, you
like wine me?
I just, I just don't, cause itmakes me tired.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
And I don't like the taste.
I down the whole shot.
Yes, five minutes later we'redoing pictures with all the
family.
Yes, I could not stand up.
I could literally not stand upwithout everything spinning.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I mean I may be you definitely stood up just fine
because we had a lot going onafter that, but it started to
hit you quickly, quickly, yes, Ihad to sit down, Like just to
sit down.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I didn't want to hang out near you at the pictures.
I had to sit down because myworld was spinning, buzzing.
I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So after our ceremony we had a cocktail hour where we
had some little snacks and youknow, there was cocktails
available if anybody wanted, butthey didn't.
There was diet coke to theblues yeah.
And it was just for us to kindof hang around, listen to some
music, and then you and I had afirst, a second, first dance,
second first dance, yes, whichwas sung by my sister and my
(15:45):
daughter.
They sang a Dan and Che song tous while we danced, and the
reason I did that was because mysister sang our first dance at
our original wedding, so Ithought that would be really
special.
But now my daughter also sings,so they sing it together.
So we danced and that littlecocktail, our on the sand
barefoot on the sand barefoot.
(16:06):
Everything was perfect.
The reason I said all that wasdo you remember all that?
I, oh, I totally remember allthat.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I just remember feeling so light, yeah, and so
Like I couldn't, like my eyesweren't fully open.
I just remember feeling like,wow, I could go take a nap right
now.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I could totally relax , because I was very relaxed.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Yeah, that's the beauty of one shot at tequila.
You don't take more than that,but one is okay.
So we had this beautiful littlecocktail hour where we just
kind of all hung out togetherfor an hour after and had our
dance.
And then I danced with my sonand we just we just had such a
good time and I rememberstanding Was it standing?
I remember dancing and twirlingwith Dawson, our son.
(16:48):
Yeah and thinking I could notstop looking at where we were.
Yeah just it was so beautiful.
I was overwhelmed with just thebeauty of that space and that
moment and I was in every littlesecond of it.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I had that feeling when we were actually going over
to dinner because they theygave us a bus.
I mean, I'm making it soundlike this is the most expensive
thing in the world.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
It definitely wasn't oh my gosh.
Joel's definitely a budget guyand this wasn't like a real.
It was a real ceremony, but itdidn't cost like no, like a real
ceremony, it was very smallscale.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
In fact I don't.
I'm not gonna.
I don't know the exact dollaramount, but I'm not gonna be far
off.
Our original wedding 25 yearsago cost us $5,200.
I know that because I am.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
We paid for it right and we did everything budget
very, very, very budget very onthe cheap we had 120 plus people
at that wedding, and so I meaneverything was on the cheap, but
it was a great.
I mean, yeah, of course we wereyoung, we had no money, yeah,
yeah, the only thing that wedidn't pay for was your dress.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Your parents paid for your dress and then my parents
paid for the honeymoon.
So, going back to this, wespent about the same amount of
money, and that included flyingto Cancun with the four of us,
our four family, hotel rooms forour four family, all inclusive
for the week.
For the week, well, it was sixdays, yeah, almost a week.
(18:17):
Five nights, six days, and thenthe ceremony on the beach.
So, yeah, I mean we spent aboutthe same amount.
If we had done that here inCalifornia, or we had done that
probably anywhere else, thatwould have been a 20,000.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Our wedding that we just it was and it was perfect.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Yeah, it was Perfect.
The other thing I loved about acocktail hour was Our family
stepped up and wanted to dotoast for us yeah, that's right.
And and your brother To thiswonderful toast.
Our son, like, shocked us bothand did a toast.
Your mom Did a toast.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, and my sister had like a very planned toast
that I didn't know she was gonnado.
Yeah, so that kind of wrappedwhere we were on the beach, Yep
and then we went back andchanged, or I changed, us girls
changed and we put on somesparkly dresses.
And I got this beautiful whitesparkle dress and Was so excited
to wear it and we hopped on alittle a giant well, yes, it's a
(19:17):
bus that takes you within theproperty itself over to dinner.
And that's about the time wheremy eyes started to sleep your
head could not stay up anylonger, I could not step in and
we have some funny pictures ofpeople took of you because you
were just like out of it and Iwas just having the time of my
life.
I could not keep another thingmore opposite, about keeping a
(19:39):
shot of tequila and I'm so happyand you go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
So, to be fair, I also had, because we did a toast
with champagne.
We did, we did so I did havesome Champagne, I guess it was
champagne.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I don't even know what it was.
Yes, and they made me like acocktail, so I had quite a bit
in me by that time and I hadthat Uh shot of tequila in a
little bit of champagne and Ineeded an app.
Yeah, which you took?
on the way to dinner in the halfmile it took us.
And then we got to the Italianrestaurant at the resort and
when I walked in there was a big, huge table that was going that
(20:14):
fit all of us together, whichmade me cry because I didn't.
They had told us we weren'tgoing to be able to get that, so
that was the one thing that Iwas all.
I really wanted that in a prettybouquet.
Because I didn't because we didour wedding so cheap I didn't
get a pretty bouquet.
I wanted that, which I did.
I had a beautiful bouquet andthen we had a big, huge dinner
for all of us at one table andwe just had the best time it was
(20:38):
perfect.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
It was perfect everything about it was perfect
and then, when we were done withit, we we had a.
The place that we stayed at wasa giant room.
I mean, it was really like Iguess it was a giant suite that
they provided for us, and we allwent back that night, was it
that night?
No, oh, never mind, let's getthat one.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
It was the next night they took our cake, which, by
the way, was phenomenal, oh mygosh, it was so good.
They took because we did have alittle cake at the ceremony.
Yeah, they took that and theykept it in a fridge for us and
then allowed us and the nextnight to Ask room service to
bring us our cake.
So then we had everybody comeover to our room and we all had
cake.
It was so fun.
(21:17):
It was so fun.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yeah, it was just, it was spectacular.
It was it was a perfect trip.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
That's how lucky we are to have such an amazing
memory.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
So I know you always like to give lessons when we do
our podcasts.
That's very important for you,any episode we put out there.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
It's important for me to have like a purpose.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Okay.
So, Tammy, let me ask you thiswhat advice would you give to
any couple who's coming up tosome sort of year a 10 year, a
15 year, a 20 year, a 25, a 30,a 35, a 40 year anniversary?
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I mean, before I answer that question, there's
just a few thoughts that I haveabout it and one of the things
that happened when I toldsomebody when we got back that
we had renewed our vows, he saidoh, I've heard there's like a
curse on people who renew vows.
I was like what?
I didn't know anything aboutthis, but maybe there's a
(22:19):
percentage of people I'm sorry,certainly there's a percentage
of people that renew their vowsand then maybe don't make it.
But I had never heard thisbefore and I think a lot of
times people ask oh, why are yourenewing your vows?
You're already married.
Like, why is that something youeven do?
Why would you spend money onthat when you're already married
?
And maybe this goes in answerto your question.
(22:42):
But first of all, I think it'sgreat to celebrate.
Just for the sake ofcelebrating, that's go for it.
Celebrate every single year,celebrate any milestone.
I think you know we only liveonce.
Why wouldn't you go and dosomething like that?
But the other thing for us wasthat, even though we knew that
(23:02):
we were gonna do this for a longtime, it was something we
wanted to do Primarily becauseit meant we were gonna go to
Cancun and have a good time.
I mean, let's be honest, I meanwhen you are there as a guest
and you watch the people getmarried.
Of course you want to do that.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
So it was a really good excuse to do that.
But the years before, the pastfive years or so for us have
been incredibly transformational.
So for us it felt like anactual renewal, not that we were
on our way out or anything likethat, necessarily, but it just
felt like we're different peopleand we approach our
(23:43):
relationship differently.
And what I said to you or wouldhave said to you as a 23 year
old girl is so different thanwhat I would say to you now.
You don't.
That's one thing I said in myvows is you're naive when you
step into a marriage that young,you don't know what those vows
(24:05):
mean at all.
You say them but you don'treally know what that means or
what goes into honoring andkeeping those vows.
So to then be 25 years in andsay vows that you do know the
meaning behind that you're nolonger naive, you know all the
(24:27):
work that went in, and to saythem again or to say them a
different way, that was a reallyimportant moment for me at
least, to be able to say to younow what I would have been too
naive to say then or would nothave understood or would not
have been able to say Then.
(24:47):
We've learned so much, we'vebeen through so much.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I probably should have started by saying that,
before we went on our trip, youand I sat down and we rewatched
our original, our originalmarriage, our marriage video.
Yes and we listened to the vows, that very small vows that were
written yeah.
So I love how you just saidthat, because you're right, we
were so naive we didn't evenlive together when we got
(25:14):
married, right?
I'm not?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
saying we left our parents house and moved in
together when we got married Yep.
And we were old, traditionalway people don't really people
don't really do anymore, but wedid yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah, we were 23 when we got married still living at
home, and and that was ourchoice and yeah you know, and so
we.
There's so much we didn't know.
And then, of course, here weare, 25 years later and a
Marriage that has transformed,as you've said.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
So, yeah, I love how you worded that one thing I did
like about when we were away, asmy sister made us shirts that
said we still do, and that waskind of our theme.
It had like a we had a caketopper that said we still do,
but anyway, I like we both gotthese matching shirts and we
wore them around the resort andwe just recently wore them on
(26:04):
our actual anniversary and wegot so many people telling us
congratulations.
Young people, old people,people would suddenly tell us
their their story.
Yes, oh we're married this longor we're our anniversary is this
, and I think that Just it'sjust so fun to give a reason to
(26:27):
celebrate such an Incredibleachievement.
Now I know many people make itto 25 years and we'll say it's
total crap and it doesn't feellike an achievement, and maybe
they are on their way out, butfor us it is an incredible
achievement and we feelincredibly proud.
So why not do something reallyspecial To honor the work that
(26:50):
we've done together as a couple,to honor our family, to honor
our Love and our story?
It was just something that I'mso very grateful that we had the
opportunity and the financesand the time and space and the
Support to do that for ourselves.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I love that.
I love that.
I you mentioned about the cursething and I remember saying
back to him, like what the catpeople say, that about the seven
year.
Yeah the 13 year, the 14 year.
You know, I've heard it aboutso many different years and I
think if you, if you believe it,if you start believing it or
start looking for oh, there'sgot to be something to it or
(27:32):
there's, you know, then you'rejust going to attract yourself,
attract yourself more to thatnegativity about it.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Well, I think one of the things I heard about the vow
renewal being a curse was thatPeople do it in an effort to
save their marriage.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Well, that makes perfect sense.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Yes, it does make sense like that's certainly not
going to save a marriage.
Whatever, baby, whatever yeahwhatever problems you have prior
to that, you're gonna haveafter, and we have.
We've had many of fights sinceour vow renewal, but I call them
disagreements, but continue butthe point for us was, it wasn't
(28:11):
about saving the marriage wheremarriage wasn't in a bad place.
It was about celebrating.
That's why it was important tous and that's what the
difference is, I think, in theidea of a curse.
Yeah yeah, ours was a truecelebration.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Honor.
The journey is as challengingas it is, as rewarding as it is.
Why wouldn't we have wanted tocelebrate this?
I'm so Freaking grateful thatwe did him to.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I am too.
Yeah, I got to do it twice, andthe second time was just as
much fun.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It was yeah.
It was, I know.
At the end of my vows I saidwhen we are 73, 72, it'll be our
50th year anniversary, so Ilook forward to doing it again.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
I do too.
Yeah, our neighbor said they doVal Reno, I think it was every
five years.
I thought that's a good idea.
Let's do that.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Get the good a cancun more often.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yeah, it's awesome.
So thank you, baby, forcreating that memory with me.
Thank you so, so blessed.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I'm so blessed to have you as a partner.
I Really am.
I am, I feel so honored thatyou wanted to create that with
me and do that with me.
So thank you so much foreverything.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Thank you, baby, love you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Love you.
This is one sappy episode.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
I'm married in a good podcast.
Well, it's been 25 years now,so now we're actual experts.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Finally.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
No, but there is something about people who say,
oh, they married 25 years.
You're like, oh my gosh, likeyeah, that's, that's, that's a
huge milestone.
So I do listen to people whohave been married that long.
Maybe they don't have thegreatest advice always, but you
think, oh, they must knowsomething, right.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Maybe what not to do, sure.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Back.
You and I were just listen.
We just heard a couple that hadbeen married for 62 years and
we both felt Of our chair right.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yes, that was on the cruise that was on the cruise.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yeah, I was like that's goals.
Holy, how much.
How old do we?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I don't want to know, I don't want to do the math, I
don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I Love you so much.
Thank you so much for thisjourney, thank you so much for
sharing this time and thank you,listeners, for listening to us.
Just go on if you're still withus at this point.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Yes, thank you so much.
We appreciate you so very muchand we look forward to talking
with you next time on themarried and naked podcast.
Bye, everybody.
Welcome to the Married in Naked podcast.
I'm Tammy, founder of the blogMarried in Naked, certified
sexuality coach and speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm Joel, tv host, motivational speaker and the
guinea pig to the lessons you'reabout to learn.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We're high school sweethearts, married over two
decades, and we're on a missionto help you create the marriage
you desire and deserve.
Let's get naked.
Welcome into the Married inNaked podcast everybody.
Hi, baby.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hey baby, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
How's it going?
How's it going to you?
I said hi, baby, you did Hibaby, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Oh my goodness, a lot , a lot, yes.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
I'm excited to talk about this one.
All right, what are?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
we going to talk about.
Why don't we just jump rightinto it.
Okay, how about that?
Let's do it.
No chit chat, just jumpingright into it, okay, but first
no, I'm kidding, I'm totallykidding.
So what we thought we would dois we thought we would do one a
little bit about our 25 yearanniversary remarriage.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Renew all of ours?
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It's so weird because I did a post on one of my
social media channels sayingthat I'm getting remarried and I
had several people going oh,what happened to your wife?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, you don't say remarried.
Yeah, I realized you don't.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
So I had to actually pull it down as soon as two
people messaged saying whathappened to Tammy Is Tammy okay?
And I'm like no, no, no,renewal of my marriage.
Oh, totally different, totallydifferent.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
So we celebrated our 25 year wedding anniversary.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah 25 year wedding anniversary.
34 years together as a couplethat's insane.
You and I both get the sameface.
We're like, oh, that's a littleinsane.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Just because it makes me feel old, not because I'm
tired of you.
Sometimes I'm tired of you.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
You're definitely tired of me, a lot more than the
times nowadays than ever.
But no, you're right.
I mean dang, we've beentogether forever, literally.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yeah, how lucky are we.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, I totally agree with you.
So we decided a long time agothat we were going to renew our
vows in one of our favoritespots, and that was Cancun.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
We knew 25 years.
We wanted to renew our vows.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah, and we've known this for probably about five
years, yeah, and then, as youget closer and closer, like, is
it really going to happen?
Is it going to happen?
And we decided, we committed toit and we did it and it was
freaking awesome.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
It was awesome.
We brought some friends, acouple of friends and some close
family with us and we gotremarried.
We renewed our vows on thebeautiful beach in Cancun, Truly
like.
It was spectacular.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, so it's funny because before we got there, we
didn't know what was going tohappen.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yes, and we had worked with a coordinator prior
to going.
For like a year We've beengoing kind of back and forth,
just like you would for anyother wedding, but on a much,
much smaller scale.
There was only 15 of us total.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
The emails weren't like immediate.
So when you call a weddingcoordinator that's local, that
you're working with, they'repretty immediate.
They're pretty.
You usually have their cellphone and you're contacting them
and you're texting them andyou're getting texts back.
We would send an email and aweek later we might get a
response.
And so as we were gettingcloser and closer, it was
getting a little like what arewe getting?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What was going to happen, which, looking back, was
kind of the fun of it, becausewe really had no idea what to
expect.
I really just pictured you andI standing on the beach barefoot
we both wanted to be barefootand I kind of thought our
friends or family would just bekind of standing around us and
we'd say our vows and then offwe'd go.
The one thing that was reallyimportant to me I really wanted
(03:56):
to have a dinner afterwards.
I just wanted to all betogether and go to dinner.
So that's really what myexpectation was.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, and as we're preparing and trying to prep
with our coordinator, we weren'tcertain that we were going to
be able to make that happen,Like that was the most important
thing for you.
So we get there and again, Ican't say enough the place was
spectacular.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
It is a very beautiful resort.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Very beautiful resort , and when we finally met our
coordinator in person,everything just calmed down.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
We're like oh my gosh okay.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Everything's gonna be okay yeah that's great.
And then she walked us out towhere we were gonna get married
and what happened to you and I?
We were just like no way.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yeah, it just kind of felt like nothing else really
mattered.
I wasn't very wrapped.
Just like you know, in thefirst time you get married
you're still wrapped up in likeall the details of it and
everything has to be so perfectand the food has to be right and
Flowers.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
The music has to be everything has to be right.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I didn't get wrapped up in that at all, aside from us
being able to sit together at adinner table.
I didn't get wrapped up in anyof that, which was kind of the
fun of it it was.
It was just very relaxed.
So, whatever it is, we got feltlike a beautiful surprise.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
And boy was it a beautiful surprise.
You know, I don't know ifyou've put any of the pictures
on your socials.
I haven't.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
So, I need to.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
So here we go.
Can you put a couple up therewhen this podcast drops?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yes, I can.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Okay.
So it was on the beach, andwhen I say it was on the beach,
we were literally 10, 15 feetfrom the ocean Water.
It was spent.
We had all these palm treessurrounding us, so we were in
the shade.
We did this at like 6 30 pm, soit was absolutely gorgeous.
(05:52):
So the setting was beautiful.
We felt like we were alone,even though we're in a resort
with a bunch of other people,you know, not far from us, and
they set up our little cocktailhour right there on the beach as
well, and I remember our, myson and I we walked down there
and while they were setting upand I just happened to have this
(06:13):
oh, we didn't tell them abouthow our family is they put out a
bar with I'm not kidding 60 to70 different alcohol drinks.
It's Mexico, it's a bar thing,and all I could think is in the
party that we were in, only oneperson actually drinks like is a
(06:37):
drinker.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Right.
I mean I partake in wine andcocktails on the weekend, but my
brother does love beer, so hedoes have beer daily, but that's
that's it.
Nobody else drank.
Yeah, nobody else drank.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
That's kind of a wasted thing, but it was fun, I
mean it was fun, it was cool tolook at, but all I could think
is they're going through allthis effort and no one's going
to touch any of that stuff thatthey put out there.
So that was kind of a fun, cool, cute thing.
But the ceremony take me, takelike your impression.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I think the thing for me that I felt surprised about,
because I was looking forwardto our trip, I was looking
forward to renewing our vows,but it doesn't feel the same as
getting married.
You know, like I was justlooking forward to it, I knew it
was going to be a good time andit was going to be special.
I got it like a little whitesummer dress.
(07:36):
It was a white summer dress andyou know, everybody looked nice
and what I remember feelingright before it was oh, this
does feel like a wedding.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
It feels so special and I realized how lucky am I
that I get to experience thisfeeling again.
I was so excited, I was nervous.
It just felt surprising to mehow really special it felt.
And it felt like I don't knowexactly what I felt the first
(08:11):
time, but it felt close to that,I was pretty sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I've often said that my favorite day in life and I
forgive me for my kids was ourwedding day.
Yeah, I said that a lot.
It was our wedding day and Iknow exactly why I felt that way
.
Because it was I just.
Nothing else mattered.
Everything was free, theuniverse was lined up to be
perfect and I live.
(08:37):
When I think about great days,I'm like, oh my gosh, it was the
best day ever.
So I had that in the back of mymind like, oh, I just want to
feel that again.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
That's high expectations.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Real high expectations and when I was, you
were getting ready to get ready.
We're in this big beautifulroom that they gave us, which
overlooked where we were aboutto get married, and I remember
walking down there with our sonand walking on the beach and
just going, oh my gosh, this isabsolutely stunning, incredible.
(09:09):
Everything was being set up andI'm making the judgment about
the bar and all the things andthen turning around and looking
at the beach and I'm just like,oh my gosh, this is the most
beautiful day.
This is incredible.
Yeah 20 minutes later, I'mwalking on the beach taking my
daughter's arm.
Devon walks me out on the beachand I take two steps and I look
(09:32):
at my daughter and I startcrying at that moment because
I'm like, oh my gosh, the nexttime I do this with you will
probably be at your wedding.
And I literally had thosethoughts and I just become the
biggest mush pile in the worldand start bawling and it was so
wonderful.
(09:53):
It was so wonderful and youmade an absolute key change that
I didn't give you enough creditfor before, and I know I did
afterwards, but you didn't wantthem to give us the person who
does the ceremony.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
When we bought the package it came with somebody
who was going to perform theceremony.
You don't need somebody who'sordained, obviously, because
we're already married, but itcame with somebody who was going
to do it.
I just had this nagging thingthat I did not want it to be a
stranger.
It made no sense for a vowrenewal.
It makes sense for, maybe, areligious ceremony where you're
(10:34):
getting married under God andall that.
That makes sense If you and I.
It did not make sense to me tohave somebody we did not know
perform that ceremony.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
So you elected to ask one of our family members,
which happened to be ourbrother-in-law, to do the
aficionaut To be the aficion.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
The joke.
He was calling aficionado thecatcher I'm sorry, the umpire.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
And what a stroke of genius.
Tam I mean, our brother-in-lawwas absolutely the perfect
shoo-in for this.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Because he knows us, of course.
Yeah, we needed somebody whoknew us and knew our
relationship and knew the lovethat we have for each other.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
And he's a great speaker too, so that really
helped and he had it all plannedout and it was all written and
catered to us, which was, oh, itwas so incredible to have that
personal touch.
And it did go on forever and itmade sense everything he was
saying.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
So Joel cried the entire ceremony, which was so
sweet.
My brother-in-law had just afew really sweet things to say.
My daughter read a poem that Ihad written for Joel many, many
years ago about us, you know,meeting in the seventh grade and
that was part of the ceremony.
And then we exchanged our ownvows that we had written to each
(11:59):
other.
So mine was several pages longand you just we're off the cuff.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let's back that up for a secondhere I was not.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
I didn't mean to make that sound like it wasn't yours
weren't amazing, they were.
I'm just saying we were verydifferent.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So you?
I started my speech by sayingyou know, we're very different,
we're very opposite in so manythings in our life, including
you are a writer and I am aspeaker, and so your vows are
written.
Mine were spoken without beingwritten, but they were well
rehearsed and well thought out,but your vows are so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Thank you, and yours were too baby.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
You're we, because of you, we elected to actually
have him videoed as well.
Yes, thank goodness, so, thankgoodness, so we'll have.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I'm excited we haven't gotten those yet and we
literally just got our picturesand it's been weeks and weeks,
so I'm excited to look throughall of that.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
So we, we, we had this wonderful ceremony.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
you and I exchanged vows and and it's incredible-
One thing I remember about youknow, standing there reading
vows was looking to our friendsand family standing there.
Everybody was crying, I meanugly crying.
Many of them were ugly cryingand I was like, wow, this is so
special.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
By the way, if you guys are listening, you're
beautiful people.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Oh, absolutely how lucky were we to have people who
, people who feel connected orlove enough or appreciating that
moment enough to really be init with you and feel the emotion
I just felt.
So lucky, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, so we're staring at, we're holding, we're
holding each other's hands,staring at each other the entire
time.
It's magical, absolutelymagical.
I don't know, maybe 20 minutesof ceremony, you and I giving
our vows, and thencongratulations, were remarried
or re-hitched, and then ourdaughter bought us these shot
(13:59):
glasses that said on them here'sto us.
And they're like I guessthey're double shot glasses.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I don't know, I hadn't thought about it until
after that moment, but they werelike tall shot glasses.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
And our wedding coordinator.
As soon as we're done, shereaches out and hands us shot
glasses full of Tequila, tequila, it's Mexico.
It's Mexico.
Everybody makes the joke aboutMexican water.
Get your tequila, your Mexicanwater.
It's Mexico.
Anyways, hand us these glassesand you and I take a picture.
We cheers, and then we proceedto do the shots.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Now I was like.
Joe doesn't really partake inshots very often, Neither do I
actually.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
No, we you're the one of us too.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
No, no, not at all.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
And I mean, like you said, you like a cocktail, you
like wine me?
I just, I just don't, cause itmakes me tired.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
And I don't like the taste.
I down the whole shot.
Yes, five minutes later we'redoing pictures with all the
family.
Yes, I could not stand up.
I could literally not stand upwithout everything spinning.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I mean I may be you definitely stood up just fine
because we had a lot going onafter that, but it started to
hit you quickly, quickly, yes, Ihad to sit down, Like just to
sit down.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I didn't want to hang out near you at the pictures.
I had to sit down because myworld was spinning, buzzing.
I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So after our ceremony we had a cocktail hour where we
had some little snacks and youknow, there was cocktails
available if anybody wanted, butthey didn't.
There was diet coke to theblues yeah.
And it was just for us to kindof hang around, listen to some
music, and then you and I had afirst, a second, first dance,
second first dance, yes, whichwas sung by my sister and my
(15:45):
daughter.
They sang a Dan and Che song tous while we danced, and the
reason I did that was because mysister sang our first dance at
our original wedding, so Ithought that would be really
special.
But now my daughter also sings,so they sing it together.
So we danced and that littlecocktail, our on the sand
barefoot on the sand barefoot.
(16:06):
Everything was perfect.
The reason I said all that wasdo you remember all that?
I, oh, I totally remember allthat.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I just remember feeling so light, yeah, and so
Like I couldn't, like my eyesweren't fully open.
I just remember feeling like,wow, I could go take a nap right
now.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I could totally relax , because I was very relaxed.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Yeah, that's the beauty of one shot at tequila.
You don't take more than that,but one is okay.
So we had this beautiful littlecocktail hour where we just
kind of all hung out togetherfor an hour after and had our
dance.
And then I danced with my sonand we just we just had such a
good time and I rememberstanding Was it standing?
I remember dancing and twirlingwith Dawson, our son.
(16:48):
Yeah and thinking I could notstop looking at where we were.
Yeah just it was so beautiful.
I was overwhelmed with just thebeauty of that space and that
moment and I was in every littlesecond of it.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I had that feeling when we were actually going over
to dinner because they theygave us a bus.
I mean, I'm making it soundlike this is the most expensive
thing in the world.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
It definitely wasn't oh my gosh.
Joel's definitely a budget guyand this wasn't like a real.
It was a real ceremony, but itdidn't cost like no, like a real
ceremony, it was very smallscale.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
In fact I don't.
I'm not gonna.
I don't know the exact dollaramount, but I'm not gonna be far
off.
Our original wedding 25 yearsago cost us $5,200.
I know that because I am.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
We paid for it right and we did everything budget
very, very, very budget very onthe cheap we had 120 plus people
at that wedding, and so I meaneverything was on the cheap, but
it was a great.
I mean, yeah, of course we wereyoung, we had no money, yeah,
yeah, the only thing that wedidn't pay for was your dress.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Your parents paid for your dress and then my parents
paid for the honeymoon.
So, going back to this, wespent about the same amount of
money, and that included flyingto Cancun with the four of us,
our four family, hotel rooms forour four family, all inclusive
for the week.
For the week, well, it was sixdays, yeah, almost a week.
(18:17):
Five nights, six days, and thenthe ceremony on the beach.
So, yeah, I mean we spent aboutthe same amount.
If we had done that here inCalifornia, or we had done that
probably anywhere else, thatwould have been a 20,000.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Our wedding that we just it was and it was perfect.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Yeah, it was Perfect.
The other thing I loved about acocktail hour was Our family
stepped up and wanted to dotoast for us yeah, that's right.
And and your brother To thiswonderful toast.
Our son, like, shocked us bothand did a toast.
Your mom Did a toast.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, and my sister had like a very planned toast
that I didn't know she was gonnado.
Yeah, so that kind of wrappedwhere we were on the beach, Yep
and then we went back andchanged, or I changed, us girls
changed and we put on somesparkly dresses.
And I got this beautiful whitesparkle dress and Was so excited
to wear it and we hopped on alittle a giant well, yes, it's a
(19:17):
bus that takes you within theproperty itself over to dinner.
And that's about the time wheremy eyes started to sleep your
head could not stay up anylonger, I could not step in and
we have some funny pictures ofpeople took of you because you
were just like out of it and Iwas just having the time of my
life.
I could not keep another thingmore opposite, about keeping a
(19:39):
shot of tequila and I'm so happyand you go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
So, to be fair, I also had, because we did a toast
with champagne.
We did, we did so I did havesome Champagne, I guess it was
champagne.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I don't even know what it was.
Yes, and they made me like acocktail, so I had quite a bit
in me by that time and I hadthat Uh shot of tequila in a
little bit of champagne and Ineeded an app.
Yeah, which you took?
on the way to dinner in the halfmile it took us.
And then we got to the Italianrestaurant at the resort and
when I walked in there was a big, huge table that was going that
(20:14):
fit all of us together, whichmade me cry because I didn't.
They had told us we weren'tgoing to be able to get that, so
that was the one thing that Iwas all.
I really wanted that in a prettybouquet.
Because I didn't because we didour wedding so cheap I didn't
get a pretty bouquet.
I wanted that, which I did.
I had a beautiful bouquet andthen we had a big, huge dinner
for all of us at one table andwe just had the best time it was
(20:38):
perfect.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
It was perfect everything about it was perfect
and then, when we were done withit, we we had a.
The place that we stayed at wasa giant room.
I mean, it was really like Iguess it was a giant suite that
they provided for us, and we allwent back that night, was it
that night?
No, oh, never mind, let's getthat one.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
It was the next night they took our cake, which, by
the way, was phenomenal, oh mygosh, it was so good.
They took because we did have alittle cake at the ceremony.
Yeah, they took that and theykept it in a fridge for us and
then allowed us and the nextnight to Ask room service to
bring us our cake.
So then we had everybody comeover to our room and we all had
cake.
It was so fun.
(21:17):
It was so fun.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yeah, it was just, it was spectacular.
It was it was a perfect trip.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
That's how lucky we are to have such an amazing
memory.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
So I know you always like to give lessons when we do
our podcasts.
That's very important for you,any episode we put out there.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
It's important for me to have like a purpose.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Okay.
So, Tammy, let me ask you thiswhat advice would you give to
any couple who's coming up tosome sort of year a 10 year, a
15 year, a 20 year, a 25, a 30,a 35, a 40 year anniversary?
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I mean, before I answer that question, there's
just a few thoughts that I haveabout it and one of the things
that happened when I toldsomebody when we got back that
we had renewed our vows, he saidoh, I've heard there's like a
curse on people who renew vows.
I was like what?
I didn't know anything aboutthis, but maybe there's a
(22:19):
percentage of people I'm sorry,certainly there's a percentage
of people that renew their vowsand then maybe don't make it.
But I had never heard thisbefore and I think a lot of
times people ask oh, why are yourenewing your vows?
You're already married.
Like, why is that something youeven do?
Why would you spend money onthat when you're already married
?
And maybe this goes in answerto your question.
(22:42):
But first of all, I think it'sgreat to celebrate.
Just for the sake ofcelebrating, that's go for it.
Celebrate every single year,celebrate any milestone.
I think you know we only liveonce.
Why wouldn't you go and dosomething like that?
But the other thing for us wasthat, even though we knew that
(23:02):
we were gonna do this for a longtime, it was something we
wanted to do Primarily becauseit meant we were gonna go to
Cancun and have a good time.
I mean, let's be honest, I meanwhen you are there as a guest
and you watch the people getmarried.
Of course you want to do that.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
So it was a really good excuse to do that.
But the years before, the pastfive years or so for us have
been incredibly transformational.
So for us it felt like anactual renewal, not that we were
on our way out or anything likethat, necessarily, but it just
felt like we're different peopleand we approach our
(23:43):
relationship differently.
And what I said to you or wouldhave said to you as a 23 year
old girl is so different thanwhat I would say to you now.
You don't.
That's one thing I said in myvows is you're naive when you
step into a marriage that young,you don't know what those vows
(24:05):
mean at all.
You say them but you don'treally know what that means or
what goes into honoring andkeeping those vows.
So to then be 25 years in andsay vows that you do know the
meaning behind that you're nolonger naive, you know all the
(24:27):
work that went in, and to saythem again or to say them a
different way, that was a reallyimportant moment for me at
least, to be able to say to younow what I would have been too
naive to say then or would nothave understood or would not
have been able to say Then.
(24:47):
We've learned so much, we'vebeen through so much.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I probably should have started by saying that,
before we went on our trip, youand I sat down and we rewatched
our original, our originalmarriage, our marriage video.
Yes and we listened to the vows, that very small vows that were
written yeah.
So I love how you just saidthat, because you're right, we
were so naive we didn't evenlive together when we got
(25:14):
married, right?
I'm not?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
saying we left our parents house and moved in
together when we got married Yep.
And we were old, traditionalway people don't really people
don't really do anymore, but wedid yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah, we were 23 when we got married still living at
home, and and that was ourchoice and yeah you know, and so
we.
There's so much we didn't know.
And then, of course, here weare, 25 years later and a
Marriage that has transformed,as you've said.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
So, yeah, I love how you worded that one thing I did
like about when we were away, asmy sister made us shirts that
said we still do, and that waskind of our theme.
It had like a we had a caketopper that said we still do,
but anyway, I like we both gotthese matching shirts and we
wore them around the resort andwe just recently wore them on
(26:04):
our actual anniversary and wegot so many people telling us
congratulations.
Young people, old people,people would suddenly tell us
their their story.
Yes, oh we're married this longor we're our anniversary is this
, and I think that Just it'sjust so fun to give a reason to
(26:27):
celebrate such an Incredibleachievement.
Now I know many people make itto 25 years and we'll say it's
total crap and it doesn't feellike an achievement, and maybe
they are on their way out, butfor us it is an incredible
achievement and we feelincredibly proud.
So why not do something reallyspecial To honor the work that
(26:50):
we've done together as a couple,to honor our family, to honor
our Love and our story?
It was just something that I'mso very grateful that we had the
opportunity and the financesand the time and space and the
Support to do that for ourselves.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I love that.
I love that.
I you mentioned about the cursething and I remember saying
back to him, like what the catpeople say, that about the seven
year.
Yeah the 13 year, the 14 year.
You know, I've heard it aboutso many different years and I
think if you, if you believe it,if you start believing it or
start looking for oh, there'sgot to be something to it or
(27:32):
there's, you know, then you'rejust going to attract yourself,
attract yourself more to thatnegativity about it.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Well, I think one of the things I heard about the vow
renewal being a curse was thatPeople do it in an effort to
save their marriage.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Well, that makes perfect sense.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Yes, it does make sense like that's certainly not
going to save a marriage.
Whatever, baby, whatever yeahwhatever problems you have prior
to that, you're gonna haveafter, and we have.
We've had many of fights sinceour vow renewal, but I call them
disagreements, but continue butthe point for us was, it wasn't
(28:11):
about saving the marriage wheremarriage wasn't in a bad place.
It was about celebrating.
That's why it was important tous and that's what the
difference is, I think, in theidea of a curse.
Yeah yeah, ours was a truecelebration.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Honor.
The journey is as challengingas it is, as rewarding as it is.
Why wouldn't we have wanted tocelebrate this?
I'm so Freaking grateful thatwe did him to.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I am too.
Yeah, I got to do it twice, andthe second time was just as
much fun.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It was yeah.
It was, I know.
At the end of my vows I saidwhen we are 73, 72, it'll be our
50th year anniversary, so Ilook forward to doing it again.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
I do too.
Yeah, our neighbor said they doVal Reno, I think it was every
five years.
I thought that's a good idea.
Let's do that.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Get the good a cancun more often.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yeah, it's awesome.
So thank you, baby, forcreating that memory with me.
Thank you so, so blessed.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I'm so blessed to have you as a partner.
I Really am.
I am, I feel so honored thatyou wanted to create that with
me and do that with me.
So thank you so much foreverything.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Thank you, baby, love you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Love you.
This is one sappy episode.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
I'm married in a good podcast.
Well, it's been 25 years now,so now we're actual experts.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Finally.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
No, but there is something about people who say,
oh, they married 25 years.
You're like, oh my gosh, likeyeah, that's, that's, that's a
huge milestone.
So I do listen to people whohave been married that long.
Maybe they don't have thegreatest advice always, but you
think, oh, they must knowsomething, right.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Maybe what not to do, sure.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Back.
You and I were just listen.
We just heard a couple that hadbeen married for 62 years and
we both felt Of our chair right.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yes, that was on the cruise that was on the cruise.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yeah, I was like that's goals.
Holy, how much.
How old do we?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I don't want to know, I don't want to do the math, I
don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I Love you so much.
Thank you so much for thisjourney, thank you so much for
sharing this time and thank you,listeners, for listening to us.
Just go on if you're still withus at this point.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Yes, thank you so much.
We appreciate you so very muchand we look forward to talking
with you next time on themarried and naked podcast.
Bye, everybody.
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