October 2, 2023 • 12 mins
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In this candid episode of the Married to Naked podcast, we are challenged with questions about erectile dysfunction. We address the reality of erectile dysfunction and break down the fears, and myths in this open discussion on a sensitive topic.
Navigating the turbulent waters of physical challenges in intimate relationships can be daunting. But don't fret, we've got you covered with who to turn to if you need help.
So, tune in for a refreshingly honest conversation and gain a new perspective on how to conquer these often-avoided hurdles.
Here's a link to the website for Dr. Rachael discussed in this episode https://drrachaelinstitute.com/
Grab your set of the Married and Naked Date Night Questions For Couples card deck HERE
Find us on social:
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Facebook @MarriedAndNaked
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Email marriednnaked@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sometimes we only have time for a quickie, so here
it is, your naked quickie.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Welcome to the Married to Naked podcast, the
Naked Quickie Edition.
Hi baby.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hey baby, how you doing.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Good what you got for me today.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
All right, sweetheart .
So today we're going to pickyour brain on a topic that I
know you get a lot of questionsabout, and this just popped up
in a recent conversation where Ihad said to the person I was
talking to that erectiledysfunction is very prominent
and man, like 20% of guys, havethis, and the person I was
(00:38):
saying this to went no way.
That's untrue, pulled out myphone and I don't know if I was
wrong or if the internet is likecompletely crazy because there
are sites, can you?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
just say that again?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No, no, no.
The internet, the internet, theinternet, no, no, I said that
absolutely correctly.
Do not think I mistook thatthere is.
If you go online, if you Googlehow, what percentage of guys
out there have erectiledysfunction, you're going to get
anywhere.
I'm not kidding Between 3% and76% of guys out there have it,
(01:12):
and then all kind or have had itat some point in their life,
and all sites are 20%, 50%, 18%,30%.
So it's all over the board.
But here's what I'm getting at.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Let me just say I think the right way to say that
is will be affected by it atsome point in their life.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yes, so what it got this conversation open up to
what happens, or how can you getto a point in a relationship
where one person is strugglingsexually whether it be erectile
dysfunction, whether it be painfrom a woman having sex and the
(01:55):
other person Are?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
you talking physical.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Physical, okay, like physical, something's physically
happening.
When there's somethingphysically going on, how do you
make sex?
I don't know how else to put it, but how do you make sex?
I mean, do you not get thisquestion all the time?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Oh my gosh the way you just said that.
How do you make sex?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I don't know.
It sounds very crafty.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
How would you have intercourse.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
You know what, See?
This is why you're the expertand I'm just the goon sitting
here next to you.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I love that.
I love that.
Well, this is a really hard one.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
It's a quickie, babe, come on.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
It's definitely not a quickie, especially if we're
talking about erectiledysfunction, and I can imagine
I'm not a man, but I can imaginethe idea and fear of that
affecting you at some point canhave a massive impact on your
sense of self.
Am I right?
(02:52):
And imagining the fear 100%,and you can speak to that
whether or not that's been anissue, but I imagine just the
thought of it is frightening.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I have never experienced what I would call a
rectile dysfunction.
I definitely have experiencedwhere I have a hard time keeping
it up.
So I guess that's the samething, but it's not because it's
a mental thing.
I know it is and you basicallysay we're not in a rush, calm
down, and you get me to realizethat, okay, this is all in my
(03:26):
head.
Usually it happens when we'rehaving a quickie.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Ironically, or you feel pressured, or I feel
pressured, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
And so that's the only experience that I've had
when it comes to this, andyou've done a great job of just
saying hey, just relax, takeyour time and then boom,
magically it happens.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And I do fear because I've heard that it's later on
in life where it couldessentially become more
prominent.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
In my life, viagra is very popular and older men
versus younger men, so I couldpotentially and that does scare
the crap out of me- Right,because your identity, and so
many men, their identity, is sowrapped up in there being virile
and strong and being able toperform, so I can see that that
(04:14):
would have a huge impact onanybody mentally.
So I feel for anybodystruggling, just as I feel for
women who are struggling in theways that we struggle.
We could talk on that forever,but the question was then how do
you?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
make sex.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Make sex.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
How do you do that?
I guess maybe I should say canyou?
And then, if so, how?
How, how is it possible?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Well, yes, I mean, I'm not an expert in this field,
and if you are looking for anexpert in this field, I would
suggest looking up Dr Rachel.
I think it's just under DrRachel.
She's somebody that I got mycertificate as a sexuality coach
(05:01):
from.
Her specialty really is inerectile dysfunction, so she has
all kinds of tips and tricksand ideas of how to help men
suffering from ED, and she is anamazing doctor and she's a
(05:23):
fantastic coach and she'ssomebody that I would look to.
Okay, so Joel just looked it upfor me.
Her handle is Dr Dr Rachel.
I can't say enough amazingthings about her, and what makes
her special is that she'sactually a doctor, so her
(05:44):
specialty is sex.
There's so much to learn fromher, and this is her specialty
is erectile dysfunction.
So I would head on over there.
If you are having any kind ofreally any kind of challenges,
physically or mentally, in thebedroom, she is your go to
person.
So, of course, there is ways tocontinue to be intimate.
(06:08):
Certainly, you can pleasureyour partner, and sometimes
that's just as satisfying.
But I think what's reallyimportant, and before you're
going down that road, is toaddress the issue at hand, and
that is what's really going on,because for so many people it is
(06:30):
stress that is causing, bothfor men and women Stress.
Past trauma can have the effectsof pain or erectile dysfunction
.
Those are things that need tobe addressed and it's not really
going to get better until thatcan be addressed.
(06:51):
So, yeah, can you work aroundit?
Probably, but are you able tofully have fun and enjoy
yourself?
It's going to be probably rough.
Now some people are maybe goingto have medical issues where
that just isn't going to be anoption, and Dr Rachel has toys
that she recommends, aids thatshe recommends that can help
(07:13):
significantly in this area.
So those are huge options foryou, but toys and aids that
can't assist us.
I'm thinking specifically formen.
For women it may be a much morecomplicated issue, but I feel
like for men there are a lot ofoptions, and I mean, sad to say,
(07:33):
but that is the world that wehave lived in and that erectile
dysfunction has beensignificantly studied and
observed, and there's been a lotof money put into it to help
men.
That does not go the same wayfor women.
Women with sexual dysfunctionsof various kinds have not been
(07:55):
studied at length.
There are not medications thathave had a ton of money put
behind them to help women withtheir challenges that they may
have in the bedroom.
So men have a lot of options.
Women it may be more difficult,but I would certainly reach out
to a doctor or somebody like DrRachel to get answers on that.
(08:18):
So I think that this is a verycomplicated question.
I don't think there is an easyanswer.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I will say this I'm going to jump in because this
didn't you had no idea what Iwas going to ask no and I feel
like I'm totally rambling andI'm sorry for that.
No, you're not, because I reallythink you've added value.
And I completely forgot aboutDr Rachel, and this is going to
be a total infomercial for DrRachel, because I will say this
(08:45):
I remember when you started withher and then you had me, like
she had a modules online thatyou were watching there's some
of them that were really, I mean, just incredible to learn from
and I remember listening to herand she was talking as if she
was baking.
So I remember thinking like, ohso, whatever problem or issue
(09:11):
or taboo or whatever it is thatwe think as normal society about
sex, she doesn't.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
If you are sensitive in any way to like graphic, you
know discussions like a true,honest discussions about the
body, about the penis, vagina,anything like that.
Yes, there is no holds back,she is a doctor, there's nothing
to be shy about and she's goingto give it to you straight.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
It was like she was cooking.
It's like oh, you take this,you take that, you blend this,
you mix that, don't do this toomuch of this.
And it was literally like oh mygosh, if more people talked
like this and had understandinglike this, then we would have so
many less problems comingforward with a topic like I'm
(10:05):
discussing.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
True, because so many people are sitting in silence
with their issues in the bedroom.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
They're sitting in silence because they feel
ashamed or embarrassed aboutwhatever it is they might be
challenged with.
And what I think Dr Rachel hastaught me is that there is so
much available.
You just have to be willing togo out of kind of your comfort
zone and look for it and be opento trying new things and
(10:32):
stepping out of those taboos alittle bit.
So stepping out of that shame,because Joel just told you what
the percentage is.
So the truth is you're nowherenear alone.
Nowhere near, you just feellike you are because we don't
talk about it.
So, you're right.
She opens that conversation ina very, very honest way.
(10:53):
So if you're struggling in thisarea, please, you know, I
really suggest you start withsomebody like Dr Rachel to start
getting some answers.
Don't sit in silence.
There's no reason to suffer.
Sex is such a beautiful part ofour lives and something we
should all be able to benefitand enjoy.
(11:13):
Reach out and get some support.
I'll put a link to her websiteso you can go directly to who
I'm talking about and it's easyto find.
There you go, there's your.
It didn't round about answer toquestion, but hopefully it
helps people.
Go to a place where they canget help.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Great, job, babe.
Seriously, I didn't know wherewe were going to go with this,
but I feel like we're definitelyhelping.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I hope so.
You definitely throw mesometimes and that one I was
totally thrown.
It's not my expertise, butbeing on it is still an
important issue.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I'm going to check you on that.
I know it's not maybe yourexpertise this particular topic,
but you literally went intoyour expertise to figure out how
you can give value to thoselistening.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
You're sweet baby, Thank you.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday and we will talk to you
next time on the Mary to Nakedpodcast.
Bye, everybody.
Sometimes we only have time for a quickie, so here
it is, your naked quickie.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Welcome to the Married to Naked podcast, the
Naked Quickie Edition.
Hi baby.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hey baby, how you doing.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Good what you got for me today.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
All right, sweetheart .
So today we're going to pickyour brain on a topic that I
know you get a lot of questionsabout, and this just popped up
in a recent conversation where Ihad said to the person I was
talking to that erectiledysfunction is very prominent
and man, like 20% of guys, havethis, and the person I was
(00:38):
saying this to went no way.
That's untrue, pulled out myphone and I don't know if I was
wrong or if the internet is likecompletely crazy because there
are sites, can you?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
just say that again?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No, no, no.
The internet, the internet, theinternet, no, no, I said that
absolutely correctly.
Do not think I mistook thatthere is.
If you go online, if you Googlehow, what percentage of guys
out there have erectiledysfunction, you're going to get
anywhere.
I'm not kidding Between 3% and76% of guys out there have it,
(01:12):
and then all kind or have had itat some point in their life,
and all sites are 20%, 50%, 18%,30%.
So it's all over the board.
But here's what I'm getting at.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Let me just say I think the right way to say that
is will be affected by it atsome point in their life.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yes, so what it got this conversation open up to
what happens, or how can you getto a point in a relationship
where one person is strugglingsexually whether it be erectile
dysfunction, whether it be painfrom a woman having sex and the
(01:55):
other person Are?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
you talking physical.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Physical, okay, like physical, something's physically
happening.
When there's somethingphysically going on, how do you
make sex?
I don't know how else to put it, but how do you make sex?
I mean, do you not get thisquestion all the time?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Oh my gosh the way you just said that.
How do you make sex?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I don't know.
It sounds very crafty.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
How would you have intercourse.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
You know what, See?
This is why you're the expertand I'm just the goon sitting
here next to you.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I love that.
I love that.
Well, this is a really hard one.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
It's a quickie, babe, come on.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
It's definitely not a quickie, especially if we're
talking about erectiledysfunction, and I can imagine
I'm not a man, but I can imaginethe idea and fear of that
affecting you at some point canhave a massive impact on your
sense of self.
Am I right?
(02:52):
And imagining the fear 100%,and you can speak to that
whether or not that's been anissue, but I imagine just the
thought of it is frightening.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I have never experienced what I would call a
rectile dysfunction.
I definitely have experiencedwhere I have a hard time keeping
it up.
So I guess that's the samething, but it's not because it's
a mental thing.
I know it is and you basicallysay we're not in a rush, calm
down, and you get me to realizethat, okay, this is all in my
(03:26):
head.
Usually it happens when we'rehaving a quickie.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Ironically, or you feel pressured, or I feel
pressured, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
And so that's the only experience that I've had
when it comes to this, andyou've done a great job of just
saying hey, just relax, takeyour time and then boom,
magically it happens.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And I do fear because I've heard that it's later on
in life where it couldessentially become more
prominent.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
In my life, viagra is very popular and older men
versus younger men, so I couldpotentially and that does scare
the crap out of me- Right,because your identity, and so
many men, their identity, is sowrapped up in there being virile
and strong and being able toperform, so I can see that that
(04:14):
would have a huge impact onanybody mentally.
So I feel for anybodystruggling, just as I feel for
women who are struggling in theways that we struggle.
We could talk on that forever,but the question was then how do
you?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
make sex.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Make sex.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
How do you do that?
I guess maybe I should say canyou?
And then, if so, how?
How, how is it possible?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Well, yes, I mean, I'm not an expert in this field,
and if you are looking for anexpert in this field, I would
suggest looking up Dr Rachel.
I think it's just under DrRachel.
She's somebody that I got mycertificate as a sexuality coach
(05:01):
from.
Her specialty really is inerectile dysfunction, so she has
all kinds of tips and tricksand ideas of how to help men
suffering from ED, and she is anamazing doctor and she's a
(05:23):
fantastic coach and she'ssomebody that I would look to.
Okay, so Joel just looked it upfor me.
Her handle is Dr Dr Rachel.
I can't say enough amazingthings about her, and what makes
her special is that she'sactually a doctor, so her
(05:44):
specialty is sex.
There's so much to learn fromher, and this is her specialty
is erectile dysfunction.
So I would head on over there.
If you are having any kind ofreally any kind of challenges,
physically or mentally, in thebedroom, she is your go to
person.
So, of course, there is ways tocontinue to be intimate.
(06:08):
Certainly, you can pleasureyour partner, and sometimes
that's just as satisfying.
But I think what's reallyimportant, and before you're
going down that road, is toaddress the issue at hand, and
that is what's really going on,because for so many people it is
(06:30):
stress that is causing, bothfor men and women Stress.
Past trauma can have the effectsof pain or erectile dysfunction
.
Those are things that need tobe addressed and it's not really
going to get better until thatcan be addressed.
(06:51):
So, yeah, can you work aroundit?
Probably, but are you able tofully have fun and enjoy
yourself?
It's going to be probably rough.
Now some people are maybe goingto have medical issues where
that just isn't going to be anoption, and Dr Rachel has toys
that she recommends, aids thatshe recommends that can help
(07:13):
significantly in this area.
So those are huge options foryou, but toys and aids that
can't assist us.
I'm thinking specifically formen.
For women it may be a much morecomplicated issue, but I feel
like for men there are a lot ofoptions, and I mean, sad to say,
(07:33):
but that is the world that wehave lived in and that erectile
dysfunction has beensignificantly studied and
observed, and there's been a lotof money put into it to help
men.
That does not go the same wayfor women.
Women with sexual dysfunctionsof various kinds have not been
(07:55):
studied at length.
There are not medications thathave had a ton of money put
behind them to help women withtheir challenges that they may
have in the bedroom.
So men have a lot of options.
Women it may be more difficult,but I would certainly reach out
to a doctor or somebody like DrRachel to get answers on that.
(08:18):
So I think that this is a verycomplicated question.
I don't think there is an easyanswer.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I will say this I'm going to jump in because this
didn't you had no idea what Iwas going to ask no and I feel
like I'm totally rambling andI'm sorry for that.
No, you're not, because I reallythink you've added value.
And I completely forgot aboutDr Rachel, and this is going to
be a total infomercial for DrRachel, because I will say this
(08:45):
I remember when you started withher and then you had me, like
she had a modules online thatyou were watching there's some
of them that were really, I mean, just incredible to learn from
and I remember listening to herand she was talking as if she
was baking.
So I remember thinking like, ohso, whatever problem or issue
(09:11):
or taboo or whatever it is thatwe think as normal society about
sex, she doesn't.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
If you are sensitive in any way to like graphic, you
know discussions like a true,honest discussions about the
body, about the penis, vagina,anything like that.
Yes, there is no holds back,she is a doctor, there's nothing
to be shy about and she's goingto give it to you straight.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
It was like she was cooking.
It's like oh, you take this,you take that, you blend this,
you mix that, don't do this toomuch of this.
And it was literally like oh mygosh, if more people talked
like this and had understandinglike this, then we would have so
many less problems comingforward with a topic like I'm
(10:05):
discussing.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
True, because so many people are sitting in silence
with their issues in the bedroom.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
They're sitting in silence because they feel
ashamed or embarrassed aboutwhatever it is they might be
challenged with.
And what I think Dr Rachel hastaught me is that there is so
much available.
You just have to be willing togo out of kind of your comfort
zone and look for it and be opento trying new things and
(10:32):
stepping out of those taboos alittle bit.
So stepping out of that shame,because Joel just told you what
the percentage is.
So the truth is you're nowherenear alone.
Nowhere near, you just feellike you are because we don't
talk about it.
So, you're right.
She opens that conversation ina very, very honest way.
(10:53):
So if you're struggling in thisarea, please, you know, I
really suggest you start withsomebody like Dr Rachel to start
getting some answers.
Don't sit in silence.
There's no reason to suffer.
Sex is such a beautiful part ofour lives and something we
should all be able to benefitand enjoy.
(11:13):
Reach out and get some support.
I'll put a link to her websiteso you can go directly to who
I'm talking about and it's easyto find.
There you go, there's your.
It didn't round about answer toquestion, but hopefully it
helps people.
Go to a place where they canget help.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Great, job, babe.
Seriously, I didn't know wherewe were going to go with this,
but I feel like we're definitelyhelping.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I hope so.
You definitely throw mesometimes and that one I was
totally thrown.
It's not my expertise, butbeing on it is still an
important issue.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I'm going to check you on that.
I know it's not maybe yourexpertise this particular topic,
but you literally went intoyour expertise to figure out how
you can give value to thoselistening.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
You're sweet baby, Thank you.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday and we will talk to you
next time on the Mary to Nakedpodcast.
Bye, everybody.
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