August 4, 2023 • 31 mins
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Just when we thought our schedules couldn't get any busier, we found ourselves juggling our businesses, caring for family members, and grappling with the strain it has put on our relationship. Is it possible to find balance amidst the chaos? Just when we thought we had it figured out we ride the roller coaster of puppy love, profound grief, and an exhilarating adventure to celebrate our love. We're on a raw and honest journey and sharing it all with you.
We're extending an invitation to you, our listeners. Do you have a story that mirrors ours or lessons you've learned from similar experiences? We would love to hear from you and explore these topics further on our podcast. From health struggles to pet loss, your stories matter to us. Reach out to us via email at marriedinnaked@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram @marriednnaked. Together, let's continue these conversations.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Married to Naked podcast.
I'm Tammy, founder of the blogMarried to Naked, certified
sexuality coach and speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Joel, tv host , motivational speaker and the
guinea pig to the lessons you'reabout to learn.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We're high school sweethearts, married over two
decades, and we're on a missionto help you create the marriage
you desire and deserve.
Let's get naked.
Welcome to the Married to Nakedpodcast.
Hi baby, welcome.
Hey baby, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I am good.
I'm actually feel very excitedto be sitting back in the
podcast chair in our podcaststudio, aka our spare bedroom.
Yes, to be talking with youagain.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Yeah, I know, it's been a while, huh.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
It's been a while, it's been a lot and, yeah, I'm
excited to be back here andtalking with you guys as well.
Hope you all are doing well outthere.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, I'm excited too , and since it's been a little
while, we thought we'd do alittle update for you this
episode.
So I hope you kind of knowwhat's been going on with us.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, we always try to pull back the curtain to how
to be better in a relationship.
Obviously hints the nameMarried and Naked, but I think
this is good for cathartic forus, since we do this podcast
specifically for us, right, babyyeah.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Forget you listeners.
No, I'm just kidding, that'snot true.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
No, but it's cathartic for us too, to kind of
explore what we've been goingthrough the highs, the lows, and
we've had a few lows latelythat have been really
challenging, and we're about tohave a high that is I can't even
imagine that mountaintop.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
So, and we'll share with you today what we're
talking about, yeah, and I thinkit's very helpful for people to
hear that we don't live anydifferent than anybody else.
We go through it just likeeverybody else.
You know our relationshipoutside of our relationship and
this particular last couple ofmonths have been incredibly
(01:54):
challenging and I know on one ofthe recent episodes we shared
part of what we have been goingthrough with your parents and
how we have been managing someof that chaos and crisis.
That was the topic of thatparticular episode how to manage
crisis.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
So, if you're willing to take this journey with us,
we're going to end by talkingabout what we'll be doing next
week.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
All right, so let's jump into it.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
So on our last episode we talked about my mom
and what's been going on with mymom and my dad, the challenges
there, and those are still there.
We feel like we've gotten alittle bit of a breather because
there's now CaregiversCaregivers that are now on
standby and kind of-.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
On standby that are there.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, and relieving a lot of the day-to-day worry
that we've had.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
So which has been great.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
And if you're not sure what that is, you can go
back to the episode on managingcrisis.
I think that was two episodesago.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it was.
So we've moved past that, whichhas been great.
So now we move to our owncrises.
Is that crises?
Crisis is this.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I don't know crises.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah, we now focusing on our own, our relationship
and ourselves.
If you don't know, I doelementary school assemblies and
so-.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Fourth and fifth graders.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Fourth and fifth graders, and I've been doing it
for 27 years.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
What type of assemblies are they?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
So I do historical reenactments.
They're fantastic.
I love them, one of the bestthings I could ever do in my
life.
It's so fun.
And my season ends at the endof the school year, and so what
happens is, as we go through theschool year, of course, schools
that find they have budgets ormonies they say hey, joel, we'd
like to book you, and of course,the last dates we ever have are
(03:37):
the end of the school year.
So for years and years now, mylast five to six weeks of the
school year are absolutelyslammed every single day.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah, you're gone working, often far distances
every day plus our otherbusinesses that we're managing.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, plus the other big exactly, but literally April
, May and June are the busiest,absolutely busiest times in our
relationship and our life,because it's so much work.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
You're gone doing the shows, I do the behind the
scenes and booking all the showsfor you.
Plus, we manage a lot of otherbusinesses, so it is a very,
very hectic time for us.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, and I'm not saying any of this for sympathy,
I'm saying this so I'm paintingthe picture of what happens.
So I love it, I absolutely loveit.
Wouldn't have it any other way,With one exception it is tough
this last few weeks dealing withmom and dad, and then I was
gone to Sacramento for a weekand then I come home for two
days.
Then I go to Oceanside for fouror five days and then I come
(04:37):
home for a couple of days andthen I'm in Oxnard.
All that to say that's a lot ofbeing away, a lot of travel, a
lot of nights away from the kids, away from you, you know what,
and it's just nonstop for weekson end.
So it's really tough Stuff on amarriage.
Tough on family.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I always find those couple months where it's very,
very hectic at the end of theschool year to be very difficult
on you and I.
We don't get a lot of timetogether, you're very tired, I'm
managing more of the stuff hereat home, so I often feel like
alone and all that kind of stuff.
So it's always a challengingtime for you and I personally,
(05:17):
as in our marriage.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, yeah, it always is.
We've never talked about this.
It's always there, yeah, and weknow it comes there.
And every year you say don'tbook as many schools.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I know every year I'm like why are you doing this?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
And what do I say?
I love it.
I know I love it, I really do.
And now that I'm not doingassemblies right now, there is a
little bit of like a no, I'mlike hallelujah.
Hey, I miss being in front of150 screaming fourth and fifth
graders.
I love it, I miss it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
It's nice to have you home and not to have that
particular chaos in our life atthe moment.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yes, so anyways, that's going on.
I'm gonna bring us to a littlebit of the positive, a little
bit of the wonderful thathappened in our life but added
chaos.
And that is this we're walkingaround one night on our date
night and we passed this ladywho is selling dogs.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
We were walking the mall.
We were walking the mallOutdoor mall, the Victoria
Gardens.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Here in Rancho Cucamonga, we had this beautiful
outdoor mall and we're walkingaround and all of a sudden, this
lady is selling these goldendoodles, puppies, puppies, and
my wife melts.
And, by the way, we have a dog.
We've had a dog for years.
He's a multi-poo, a multi-poo.
And my wife literally melts infront of me and I've only seen
(06:36):
this one other time, and thatwas the time she really wanted a
tortoise and I did not know howbad it was.
I didn't know how bad it really, and then it just got to where
it was, like we can't breatheuntil we get a tortoise.
So of course we have a tortoise.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Which Joel got me for an anniversary gift.
By the way, it's the best giftever.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Wow, you're very sweet.
So we're walking, and the restof our night became a very no,
what happened was?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I asked a question Because Joel's I'm a big animal
lover, Joel's a little bitdifferent.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I love animals.
Just at somebody else's house.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah, my kids and I, we would prefer that we have a
farm.
I mean, we could never possiblyhave enough animals.
That's not really your thingknowing that, so I asked you
after that.
So just out of curiosity, isthis ever gonna be in our future
, the idea of getting a newpuppy?
(07:33):
That's how it all started.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
And I don't exactly remember how.
I'm sure you'll rememberexactly what I said, but I was
like babe, we have a dog, I meanwe have a tortoise, a dog,
guinea pigs, fish.
I mean, what do you want?
I'm stumbling, but what did Iactually say to your question at
that moment?
That's probably what you said,and so, yeah, that's probably
what I said, which then flippedthe switch in Tammy and our date
(07:59):
night turned into a very, verymellow, somber.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
That wasn't intentional.
I apologize for that.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm just saying what hadhappened we wouldn't have,
because I realized that it.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I realized that this is absolutely nothing that you
want, and so then it's like Ihave to come to some kind of
acceptance of this is not goingto be in my future, or I'm.
If it is in my future, thenit's going to be something
you're really unhappy with.
So neither way felt good.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Fast forward.
Two hours later, we're sittingin the car getting ready to
leave our date night and Iturned to you and I said what
happened?
What happened From the momentwe saw the dog to right now
sitting in the car with you,something changed and then you
shared exactly what you justsaid to me.
(08:57):
Yeah, and what did I say to you?
I don't wanna.
What do you remember me sayingto you?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I remember you saying that you didn't realize how
deep that desire ran for me.
I know you know I love animals,but I don't think you realize
how truly deep and soulfulfilling it is for me.
So I think it hit you were justrealizing, from what I'm
(09:27):
understanding of that moment,how truly deep that love for
animals is for me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, and I remember saying that, although it's not
something I would choose, I wantyou to be happy.
Yeah, I really want you to behappy and you, you know you'd
shared with me that when youwere growing up, you had a dog,
but it was Melissa's, yoursister's.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Well, it wasn't that.
It was that when we got a dog,my dad brought one home.
That dog had to stay outside.
It never was allowed in ourhouse, and so there was just
never an ability to connect withthat dog.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
And then when we got Cody, yes, our multipoo, yes, it
was for our daughter.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Yes, I wanted a dog for our family but I never
really got, I feel, anopportunity to truly bond with
him.
Because I was we but I becauseI was the one home at the time
really with the kids, I wasraising kids I just didn't have
the energy or the desire, Iguess, to really bond.
(10:36):
I loved having him and he is anamazing part of our family, but
he really became Devin ourdaughter's dog.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yeah, yeah, so you were sharing with me those
feelings that you had, that youreally, really wanted to bond
and I wanted my own dog.
Yeah, I had that fantasy ofhaving a dog I could love and
yeah, I remember sitting in thecar and saying to you, like in
my mind, when Cody moves on,that at some point we will get
(11:06):
another dog.
I remember saying that to you.
But you, it became crystalclear that that feeling of deep,
soulful like you just describedwas really, really coming to
the surface.
And I've told you, I remembersaying that, babe, I don't want
to.
It's not what I would choose,it's not the timing I would
(11:29):
choose it, but I don't want tokeep you from getting or
fulfilling what you reallyreally want.
I want to be.
You know I'll be there and I'llride with you for whatever you
really really want.
And that was like ourconversation.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
You know we kissed, hugged and drove home and and I
really didn't want to wait tillour dog, cody, passes away,
because I wanted to have onehere for when that happened,
knowing how difficult that painwas going to be.
When that happened, and that heis getting quite old, I knew
(12:10):
that was coming soon, so I justdidn't want to not have a dog
when that time came.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
So fast forward to five days later.
Six days later Okay, ish, I'mgetting ready to head up to
Sacramento and I have to dropyou off somewhere.
And as I'm dropping you offsomewhere, you turn to me and
said remember the conversationwe had out at the mall?
And I looked at you and I saidyeah, and you're like, was it
(12:41):
real what you said to me?
And I said well, of course,absolutely.
If you want to get a dog, Iunderstand it's, you know it
absolutely.
And you, unbeknownst to me atthat moment, had already been
plotting and planning and kindof behind the scenes and already
had something going in theworks.
(13:02):
And then I'll let you take itfrom there.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Well, the truth is, because it had been such a
strong desire for such a longtime I had been looking for a
long time.
I just never talked to youabout it.
I never thought it wassomething that was ever going to
be an actuality.
So it's just something I woulddo.
I would look at different dogbreeds and what's the best kind
to have and how much are thosekinds of puppies or what are the
(13:26):
hyperallergenic dogs, Becausemy daughter's allergic, so I did
a lot of that all the time.
So when you opened the windowto where I was like, oh, this
can actually happen.
I dove really fast and reallydeep because I already knew what
I wanted and how much they were.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Five, six days, I mean just by the way.
I'm dropping her off and then,after I drop you off, I am
literally on the freeway toSacramento.
Two hours into my drive I get avideo sent to me by my daughter
with you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Well, you said.
I said I found one.
That's a really good price,which is always a good thing.
To tell you, it really was halfprice from what I had been
looking.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I got a litter in my area.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yes, and would it be okay, the exact breed I wanted.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Would it be okay if we go and pick them up and
you're like, yes, of course.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
So two hours later, the kids and I went.
I got a video with my wife intears holding our new dog, storm
.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
It makes me emotional .
Speaker 2 (14:35):
You should post that video.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
It was very special, yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
It was very special and I just have to say, from my
perspective, just seeing thetears in your eyes, Do you have
tears in your eyes?
You weren't there, no, but asmuch as I don't have.
I really wish I felt the samefeelings of having a farm around
, like you truly want, like youjust want animals everywhere.
(15:00):
For me, it's just I look at itdifferent.
It's not the animals, it's theresponsibility.
I understand that.
It's the tie, it's the oh.
We just can't cut and go.
And you know, that's what it isfor me.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
There are a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I get it A lot of work and waking up early and
putting them out.
So I'm on their schedule, noton my schedule.
So it's that stuff and I knowthat me sound very selfish and I
may come off as a complete jerk.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I'm sure a lot of people agree with you.
And then there's the wholeother half.
That's on my side, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah.
So I remember sitting in thecar saying, well, this is how I
feel, but that you know we're ina relationship.
I don't want to hold you backfrom something.
You wouldn't hold me back ifthere's something that I felt
that deep down in my soul andyou haven't.
And I just remember feelingthat I got to get out of the way
of this in order for you tofeel the fulfillment that you
(15:55):
truly deserve.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
So we brought home and when you were away, sadly,
because I really wanted you tobe there, but I didn't want to
miss the opportunity for thisparticular pup- yeah.
My kids and I went and pickedup an eight-week-old golden
doodle.
He's actually a double doodle,so his parents were doodles, but
he's black and yeah his name isStorm, or we call him Stormy.
(16:21):
Yeah, he's a great dog, he's avery he's a great dog, it was
truly one of the happiestmoments I've ever felt, knowing
I was walking away with him.
I think because, because of howunselfish of a moment that was
(16:42):
for you, it just was for you tosay it's okay when I know that's
not really your thing and it'sa huge inconvenience to you,
that was really special and I'mso grateful that you, like you
said, kind of took yourself outof being in the way and giving
(17:04):
me your blessing on that,because I would never want to do
something that made your lifemiserable or you didn't like.
You know that I don't want todo that.
I don't want to make your lifeunhappy.
It was a truly unselfish momentand I'm just very grateful that
you, you gave me the gift ofnot having to carry the burden
(17:25):
of your feelings about it andyou allowed me to really just go
for what I wanted.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Well, we're going to take you on a little roller
coaster ride here.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Yeah, so we brought Stormy home on a Tuesday while
you were gone.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
You were sending me videos.
The kids were saying videos,you were happy.
That look of happiness is just.
I mean, that was priceless.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
It was a wonderful day.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
It was a wonderful day, wonderful second day.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yes, we, you know, introduced our dog Cody to
Stormy.
They were doing really well,getting along great.
We had the kids and I had thismost amazing two days later,
Thursday, where everybody wasjust happy.
We were just having such a goodtime.
And then that night I noticedthat my dog Cody, his stomach
(18:13):
was really large.
I obviously Googled what thiscould mean, what to do, and
everything I read said youshould take your dog to the vet.
So that's what I did.
At nine o'clock at night I leftand took Cody to the vet and we
were there for like four hoursand Cody that day had just
(18:36):
enjoyed his day so thoroughly.
He ate everything he couldpossibly find to eat and he, it
was just, he just seemed happy.
It just was like a good day.
And the vet said he had eatentoo much but that he was going
to be okay.
He didn't see why.
He wouldn't be fine that gohome and kind of let him rest it
(19:01):
off and then that probably befine.
And then the next morning whenI came to check on him, he had
passed away over the night.
Yeah, so I had the best day.
And then two days later I lostour other dog and I had to be.
(19:25):
You know, I was the one whofound him and then I had to go
wake up the kids and tell themthat Cody had died.
So, and I know so many of youhave been through the death of a
vet and we knew it was comingbecause he was almost 13.
(19:45):
But I don't know things, justdon't prepare you for that and I
thought he was going to be okayand he wasn't.
And the vet was shocked that hehad passed away.
He did not understand what hadhappened and the kids and I sat
with him for a long time and wedid pop prints with him and then
(20:10):
we had to do the horrible taskof taking him back to the vet
and saying goodbye yeah, yeah,and you weren't here, which was
also really hard.
And I had a lot I have still,but I'm working through it a lot
of guilt that I didn't doeverything I could have done for
(20:32):
him.
So it's just been, it's beenreally hard.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
It's been really hard hard to say goodbye to him,
feeling that I just brought thisother dog in and I don't know
made things bad for him orsomething, and then he was gone
two days later.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I again those of you out there that have gone through
this.
This is like one of the hardestthings I mean you the death of
a family member and the death ofan aunt.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
He was truly our, our family.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I've been so hard wanting you to let that guilt go
.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I know you, you feel bad.
But everyone around you, thekids, cody, everyone experienced
that wonderful day of having anew dog, a new beginning, cody
being everything he could be,devon and our kids, our two kids
, just absolutely lovingeverything about it, our, your
(21:39):
sister, your brother, everyoneseeing the joy that was going on
and then to lose him.
It's not your fault.
You brought joy into our family.
You made the pain of the lossof Cody.
You know there you will neverforget.
But now we have joy to move usforward, to keep the joy going
(22:02):
in our family.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Yeah, it's been five weeks and it still, it still
hurts a lot.
Yeah, it's, it's been prettybrutal, but we do have Stormy
and that's been a wonderful gift.
And many people have said, youknow, because Cody was old, you
(22:25):
know he was deaf and blind, andmany people have said that he
just needed to know that we weregoing to be okay and then he
had truly like the last, thebest, last day, and then he
decided we were okay and and andpassed on.
And I don't know if that's true, but it does give me some a
(22:46):
little bit of peace.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I mean, it's be fair deaf, blind.
He had a hard time walking.
Going down the stairs was achallenge.
He was falling a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I mean it could have been a lot, lot longer of a
process.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
It was abrupt and I do feel very grateful that,
first of all, we didn't have tomake the decision that I know so
many people have to make ofputting a pet down.
Grateful we didn't have to getto that, and also I'm grateful
we had time to say goodbye,because I know a lot of people
don't get that opportunity to,so there was blessings in that
(23:26):
as well.
So, yeah, that's where I'vebeen in a lot of grief over that
.
I knew I would feel, but itjust hit me much, much harder
than I thought and it alsocarried a lot of guilt with it.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
So, but wait, there's more as we move through that.
My shows wrap up.
The life was stormy.
It becomes a new norm Barkingreally early in the morning, the
getting up, the in and out myschedule training him.
Training him, scheduling allthat, and suddenly you are
(24:08):
whacked with the longest streakof migraines you've ever had in
your entire life.
We're talking did you go 12days?
I think so.
12 straight days of migraines.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Migraines are very common for me.
I've had them my whole life.
Ever since I started havingperiods I've had migraines
pretty much at least once amonth, but typically they'll go
a couple of days and then moveon.
Over the last few years they'llgo maybe three to four days
I'll have them and then they goaway until the next cycle.
(24:46):
But I have had a couple recentones where they've gone longer
than that.
And then, yeah, this particularepisode, it just every day.
I'd get a little relief from mymedication and then the next
morning I'd wake up severemigraine and it just went on
like that, day after day, me ina lot of pain.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
And for those of you that suffer from migraines or
other debilitating things thathappen.
You know the challenge that youare faced with.
You know the pain and theinability to get comfortable.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
It's brutal.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
It's brutal.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
It's brutal, it affects literally everything.
It affects our relationship,because I can't connect, I don't
want to, because I'm somiserable I don't sleep, my work
gets affected, everything.
So, yep, I've been dealing withalmost two weeks of migraines
and I finally had you take me tothe urgent care this past
(25:44):
Friday and he gave me a coupleinjections and also put me on
steroids to stop the cycle ofmigraines, because I guess now
I'm learning Sometimes people goin these cycles of migraines
and can't get out of them andneed help getting out.
So I got help to get out andlast three days I felt like a
person and it's been amazing,amazing.
(26:06):
Yeah, I'm so, so grateful and Ithink we all maybe most of us
anyway unless you live withchronic disease most of us
completely take for grantedfeeling normal.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
We take it for granted, but it is the most
amazing gift, and you realizethat if you don't have your
health, you literally havenothing.
Nothing was okay while I wasgoing through that and it feels
like it's never gonna end.
So I am very grateful to besitting here with you and that's
why we're sitting here, becauseI feel good.
(26:41):
I'm feeling better mentally.
Yes, I'm still hurting, butevery day I'm processing through
, getting better.
I'm feeling better physicallyand ready to pick my life back
up again.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Now this moves us towards the end.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yes, the carrot that I dangled earlier, and that was
Well, let me just say thank youfor helping me get through this,
because I'm so grateful to haveyour support, your emotional
support, as I went through thegrief of Cody and I know you
Grieve too, but it's differentthan what I was grieving, plus I
was carrying the guilt andyou're helping me through that
(27:16):
and and just helping me getthrough my grains when you've
got to pick up and and do somuch for me, be that I can't do
so.
Thank you for being there forme.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Of course.
Okay, now we can go to what youso this year, this summer, is
our 25 year Anniversary.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
If any relationship out there makes it to 25 years,
you deserve a high fivecongratulations.
It's.
It's Incredible, because ifyou're listening to this, you're
probably in a relationship andyou know how hard it is.
You know how difficult it is.
You know the growth you have togo through to get through one
year, five years, ten years,fifteen years, let alone twenty
(27:55):
or twenty five years.
And it is hard, it's rewarding,it's incredible, and you and I
decided that we are going torenew our vows.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yes, and we knew this years ago we were gonna do this
on our 25th.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Yeah, and we're gonna do it in our favorite place and
we're gonna have family andfriends come and join us.
So we're about to to cut looseand head to Cancun.
Yes and next week get remarried.
Yeah so, who knows, by the timeyou're listening to this, we
may already be re-hitched.
So but yeah, it's, it's, it'sincredible, it's all that we're
(28:30):
going through.
Like it's been hard for us toget excited about this because
of, well, we just shared withyou.
Yeah, there's a lot, so much,and so now we're really excited.
Yeah we're excited.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah, and, and you said, everybody who gets to 25
deserves a high five.
Yes, you do, but a lot ofpeople who get to 25 are not in
a good place.
Yeah and I do just want torecognize that had, had we been
in the same place Maybe four orfive years ago and hit our 25.
(29:03):
I don't think we would berenewing our vows.
It's the work that we've donein the last Especially handful
of years yes, over our entiremarriage, but especially the
last four years or so hassignificantly changed our lives,
our relationship, so that now,truly hitting 25, we can say we
(29:25):
are way better than we've everbeen, much more connected than
we've ever been, so that when westand there and renew our vows,
this is truly a renewal of of amarriage.
We're in a different place thanwe've ever been in our whole,
entire marriage.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah it's.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
We've worked so hard to get here, so, yes, we deserve
a high five.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
We deserve a party.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
We're taking a you know, a few family and friends
and really celebrate all thework that we've put in to where
we are, celebrate our love andCelebrate what we have ahead of
us in a beautiful future,absolutely so.
I'm excited to tell you allabout our wonderful trip to
Cancun.
Yeah, coming here in the future.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yep, absolutely Well.
We thank you guys for listeningand supporting so much.
Support each other.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Keep doing the work.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah, yeah and we know we're not the only ones
that are in it.
And if you've got a story toshare, if there's something
you'd like us to explore on thepodcast, please let us know,
please let us hear from you,even if it's, if it's similar to
what we're discussing whereit's, you know, health or a loss
of a pet, loss of a pet.
Yeah, please, let us hear fromyou.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
You can email us at married in naked at gmailcom, or
you can certainly Instagrammessage us married in naked on
Instagram and thank you so muchfor listening.
We love you all.
Hope you are having an awesomesummer and enjoying your time
with the kiddos at home and ifnot, trust me, it'll be over
before you know it and we'lltalk to you next time on the
(31:01):
married in naked podcast.
Bye everybody.
Welcome to the Married to Naked podcast.
I'm Tammy, founder of the blogMarried to Naked, certified
sexuality coach and speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Joel, tv host , motivational speaker and the
guinea pig to the lessons you'reabout to learn.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We're high school sweethearts, married over two
decades, and we're on a missionto help you create the marriage
you desire and deserve.
Let's get naked.
Welcome to the Married to Nakedpodcast.
Hi baby, welcome.
Hey baby, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I am good.
I'm actually feel very excitedto be sitting back in the
podcast chair in our podcaststudio, aka our spare bedroom.
Yes, to be talking with youagain.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Yeah, I know, it's been a while, huh.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
It's been a while, it's been a lot and, yeah, I'm
excited to be back here andtalking with you guys as well.
Hope you all are doing well outthere.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, I'm excited too , and since it's been a little
while, we thought we'd do alittle update for you this
episode.
So I hope you kind of knowwhat's been going on with us.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, we always try to pull back the curtain to how
to be better in a relationship.
Obviously hints the nameMarried and Naked, but I think
this is good for cathartic forus, since we do this podcast
specifically for us, right, babyyeah.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Forget you listeners.
No, I'm just kidding, that'snot true.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
No, but it's cathartic for us too, to kind of
explore what we've been goingthrough the highs, the lows, and
we've had a few lows latelythat have been really
challenging, and we're about tohave a high that is I can't even
imagine that mountaintop.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
So, and we'll share with you today what we're
talking about, yeah, and I thinkit's very helpful for people to
hear that we don't live anydifferent than anybody else.
We go through it just likeeverybody else.
You know our relationshipoutside of our relationship and
this particular last couple ofmonths have been incredibly
(01:54):
challenging and I know on one ofthe recent episodes we shared
part of what we have been goingthrough with your parents and
how we have been managing someof that chaos and crisis.
That was the topic of thatparticular episode how to manage
crisis.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
So, if you're willing to take this journey with us,
we're going to end by talkingabout what we'll be doing next
week.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
All right, so let's jump into it.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
So on our last episode we talked about my mom
and what's been going on with mymom and my dad, the challenges
there, and those are still there.
We feel like we've gotten alittle bit of a breather because
there's now CaregiversCaregivers that are now on
standby and kind of-.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
On standby that are there.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, and relieving a lot of the day-to-day worry
that we've had.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
So which has been great.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
And if you're not sure what that is, you can go
back to the episode on managingcrisis.
I think that was two episodesago.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it was.
So we've moved past that, whichhas been great.
So now we move to our owncrises.
Is that crises?
Crisis is this.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I don't know crises.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah, we now focusing on our own, our relationship
and ourselves.
If you don't know, I doelementary school assemblies and
so-.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Fourth and fifth graders.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Fourth and fifth graders, and I've been doing it
for 27 years.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
What type of assemblies are they?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
So I do historical reenactments.
They're fantastic.
I love them, one of the bestthings I could ever do in my
life.
It's so fun.
And my season ends at the endof the school year, and so what
happens is, as we go through theschool year, of course, schools
that find they have budgets ormonies they say hey, joel, we'd
like to book you, and of course,the last dates we ever have are
(03:37):
the end of the school year.
So for years and years now, mylast five to six weeks of the
school year are absolutelyslammed every single day.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah, you're gone working, often far distances
every day plus our otherbusinesses that we're managing.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, plus the other big exactly, but literally April
, May and June are the busiest,absolutely busiest times in our
relationship and our life,because it's so much work.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
You're gone doing the shows, I do the behind the
scenes and booking all the showsfor you.
Plus, we manage a lot of otherbusinesses, so it is a very,
very hectic time for us.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, and I'm not saying any of this for sympathy,
I'm saying this so I'm paintingthe picture of what happens.
So I love it, I absolutely loveit.
Wouldn't have it any other way,With one exception it is tough
this last few weeks dealing withmom and dad, and then I was
gone to Sacramento for a weekand then I come home for two
days.
Then I go to Oceanside for fouror five days and then I come
(04:37):
home for a couple of days andthen I'm in Oxnard.
All that to say that's a lot ofbeing away, a lot of travel, a
lot of nights away from the kids, away from you, you know what,
and it's just nonstop for weekson end.
So it's really tough Stuff on amarriage.
Tough on family.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I always find those couple months where it's very,
very hectic at the end of theschool year to be very difficult
on you and I.
We don't get a lot of timetogether, you're very tired, I'm
managing more of the stuff hereat home, so I often feel like
alone and all that kind of stuff.
So it's always a challengingtime for you and I personally,
(05:17):
as in our marriage.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, yeah, it always is.
We've never talked about this.
It's always there, yeah, and weknow it comes there.
And every year you say don'tbook as many schools.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I know every year I'm like why are you doing this?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
And what do I say?
I love it.
I know I love it, I really do.
And now that I'm not doingassemblies right now, there is a
little bit of like a no, I'mlike hallelujah.
Hey, I miss being in front of150 screaming fourth and fifth
graders.
I love it, I miss it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
It's nice to have you home and not to have that
particular chaos in our life atthe moment.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yes, so anyways, that's going on.
I'm gonna bring us to a littlebit of the positive, a little
bit of the wonderful thathappened in our life but added
chaos.
And that is this we're walkingaround one night on our date
night and we passed this ladywho is selling dogs.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
We were walking the mall.
We were walking the mallOutdoor mall, the Victoria
Gardens.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Here in Rancho Cucamonga, we had this beautiful
outdoor mall and we're walkingaround and all of a sudden, this
lady is selling these goldendoodles, puppies, puppies, and
my wife melts.
And, by the way, we have a dog.
We've had a dog for years.
He's a multi-poo, a multi-poo.
And my wife literally melts infront of me and I've only seen
(06:36):
this one other time, and thatwas the time she really wanted a
tortoise and I did not know howbad it was.
I didn't know how bad it really, and then it just got to where
it was, like we can't breatheuntil we get a tortoise.
So of course we have a tortoise.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Which Joel got me for an anniversary gift.
By the way, it's the best giftever.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Wow, you're very sweet.
So we're walking, and the restof our night became a very no,
what happened was?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I asked a question Because Joel's I'm a big animal
lover, Joel's a little bitdifferent.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I love animals.
Just at somebody else's house.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah, my kids and I, we would prefer that we have a
farm.
I mean, we could never possiblyhave enough animals.
That's not really your thingknowing that, so I asked you
after that.
So just out of curiosity, isthis ever gonna be in our future
, the idea of getting a newpuppy?
(07:33):
That's how it all started.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
And I don't exactly remember how.
I'm sure you'll rememberexactly what I said, but I was
like babe, we have a dog, I meanwe have a tortoise, a dog,
guinea pigs, fish.
I mean, what do you want?
I'm stumbling, but what did Iactually say to your question at
that moment?
That's probably what you said,and so, yeah, that's probably
what I said, which then flippedthe switch in Tammy and our date
(07:59):
night turned into a very, verymellow, somber.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
That wasn't intentional.
I apologize for that.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm just saying what hadhappened we wouldn't have,
because I realized that it.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I realized that this is absolutely nothing that you
want, and so then it's like Ihave to come to some kind of
acceptance of this is not goingto be in my future, or I'm.
If it is in my future, thenit's going to be something
you're really unhappy with.
So neither way felt good.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Fast forward.
Two hours later, we're sittingin the car getting ready to
leave our date night and Iturned to you and I said what
happened?
What happened From the momentwe saw the dog to right now
sitting in the car with you,something changed and then you
shared exactly what you justsaid to me.
(08:57):
Yeah, and what did I say to you?
I don't wanna.
What do you remember me sayingto you?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I remember you saying that you didn't realize how
deep that desire ran for me.
I know you know I love animals,but I don't think you realize
how truly deep and soulfulfilling it is for me.
So I think it hit you were justrealizing, from what I'm
(09:27):
understanding of that moment,how truly deep that love for
animals is for me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, and I remember saying that, although it's not
something I would choose, I wantyou to be happy.
Yeah, I really want you to behappy and you, you know you'd
shared with me that when youwere growing up, you had a dog,
but it was Melissa's, yoursister's.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Well, it wasn't that.
It was that when we got a dog,my dad brought one home.
That dog had to stay outside.
It never was allowed in ourhouse, and so there was just
never an ability to connect withthat dog.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
And then when we got Cody, yes, our multipoo, yes, it
was for our daughter.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Yes, I wanted a dog for our family but I never
really got, I feel, anopportunity to truly bond with
him.
Because I was we but I becauseI was the one home at the time
really with the kids, I wasraising kids I just didn't have
the energy or the desire, Iguess, to really bond.
(10:36):
I loved having him and he is anamazing part of our family, but
he really became Devin ourdaughter's dog.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yeah, yeah, so you were sharing with me those
feelings that you had, that youreally, really wanted to bond
and I wanted my own dog.
Yeah, I had that fantasy ofhaving a dog I could love and
yeah, I remember sitting in thecar and saying to you, like in
my mind, when Cody moves on,that at some point we will get
(11:06):
another dog.
I remember saying that to you.
But you, it became crystalclear that that feeling of deep,
soulful like you just describedwas really, really coming to
the surface.
And I've told you, I remembersaying that, babe, I don't want
to.
It's not what I would choose,it's not the timing I would
(11:29):
choose it, but I don't want tokeep you from getting or
fulfilling what you reallyreally want.
I want to be.
You know I'll be there and I'llride with you for whatever you
really really want.
And that was like ourconversation.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
You know we kissed, hugged and drove home and and I
really didn't want to wait tillour dog, cody, passes away,
because I wanted to have onehere for when that happened,
knowing how difficult that painwas going to be.
When that happened, and that heis getting quite old, I knew
(12:10):
that was coming soon, so I justdidn't want to not have a dog
when that time came.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
So fast forward to five days later.
Six days later Okay, ish, I'mgetting ready to head up to
Sacramento and I have to dropyou off somewhere.
And as I'm dropping you offsomewhere, you turn to me and
said remember the conversationwe had out at the mall?
And I looked at you and I saidyeah, and you're like, was it
(12:41):
real what you said to me?
And I said well, of course,absolutely.
If you want to get a dog, Iunderstand it's, you know it
absolutely.
And you, unbeknownst to me atthat moment, had already been
plotting and planning and kindof behind the scenes and already
had something going in theworks.
(13:02):
And then I'll let you take itfrom there.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Well, the truth is, because it had been such a
strong desire for such a longtime I had been looking for a
long time.
I just never talked to youabout it.
I never thought it wassomething that was ever going to
be an actuality.
So it's just something I woulddo.
I would look at different dogbreeds and what's the best kind
to have and how much are thosekinds of puppies or what are the
(13:26):
hyperallergenic dogs, Becausemy daughter's allergic, so I did
a lot of that all the time.
So when you opened the windowto where I was like, oh, this
can actually happen.
I dove really fast and reallydeep because I already knew what
I wanted and how much they were.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Five, six days, I mean just by the way.
I'm dropping her off and then,after I drop you off, I am
literally on the freeway toSacramento.
Two hours into my drive I get avideo sent to me by my daughter
with you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Well, you said.
I said I found one.
That's a really good price,which is always a good thing.
To tell you, it really was halfprice from what I had been
looking.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I got a litter in my area.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yes, and would it be okay, the exact breed I wanted.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Would it be okay if we go and pick them up and
you're like, yes, of course.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
So two hours later, the kids and I went.
I got a video with my wife intears holding our new dog, storm
.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
It makes me emotional .
Speaker 2 (14:35):
You should post that video.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
It was very special, yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
It was very special and I just have to say, from my
perspective, just seeing thetears in your eyes, Do you have
tears in your eyes?
You weren't there, no, but asmuch as I don't have.
I really wish I felt the samefeelings of having a farm around
, like you truly want, like youjust want animals everywhere.
(15:00):
For me, it's just I look at itdifferent.
It's not the animals, it's theresponsibility.
I understand that.
It's the tie, it's the oh.
We just can't cut and go.
And you know, that's what it isfor me.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
There are a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I get it A lot of work and waking up early and
putting them out.
So I'm on their schedule, noton my schedule.
So it's that stuff and I knowthat me sound very selfish and I
may come off as a complete jerk.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I'm sure a lot of people agree with you.
And then there's the wholeother half.
That's on my side, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah.
So I remember sitting in thecar saying, well, this is how I
feel, but that you know we're ina relationship.
I don't want to hold you backfrom something.
You wouldn't hold me back ifthere's something that I felt
that deep down in my soul andyou haven't.
And I just remember feelingthat I got to get out of the way
of this in order for you tofeel the fulfillment that you
(15:55):
truly deserve.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
So we brought home and when you were away, sadly,
because I really wanted you tobe there, but I didn't want to
miss the opportunity for thisparticular pup- yeah.
My kids and I went and pickedup an eight-week-old golden
doodle.
He's actually a double doodle,so his parents were doodles, but
he's black and yeah his name isStorm, or we call him Stormy.
(16:21):
Yeah, he's a great dog, he's avery he's a great dog, it was
truly one of the happiestmoments I've ever felt, knowing
I was walking away with him.
I think because, because of howunselfish of a moment that was
(16:42):
for you, it just was for you tosay it's okay when I know that's
not really your thing and it'sa huge inconvenience to you,
that was really special and I'mso grateful that you, like you
said, kind of took yourself outof being in the way and giving
(17:04):
me your blessing on that,because I would never want to do
something that made your lifemiserable or you didn't like.
You know that I don't want todo that.
I don't want to make your lifeunhappy.
It was a truly unselfish momentand I'm just very grateful that
you, you gave me the gift ofnot having to carry the burden
(17:25):
of your feelings about it andyou allowed me to really just go
for what I wanted.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Well, we're going to take you on a little roller
coaster ride here.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Yeah, so we brought Stormy home on a Tuesday while
you were gone.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
You were sending me videos.
The kids were saying videos,you were happy.
That look of happiness is just.
I mean, that was priceless.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
It was a wonderful day.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
It was a wonderful day, wonderful second day.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yes, we, you know, introduced our dog Cody to
Stormy.
They were doing really well,getting along great.
We had the kids and I had thismost amazing two days later,
Thursday, where everybody wasjust happy.
We were just having such a goodtime.
And then that night I noticedthat my dog Cody, his stomach
(18:13):
was really large.
I obviously Googled what thiscould mean, what to do, and
everything I read said youshould take your dog to the vet.
So that's what I did.
At nine o'clock at night I leftand took Cody to the vet and we
were there for like four hoursand Cody that day had just
(18:36):
enjoyed his day so thoroughly.
He ate everything he couldpossibly find to eat and he, it
was just, he just seemed happy.
It just was like a good day.
And the vet said he had eatentoo much but that he was going
to be okay.
He didn't see why.
He wouldn't be fine that gohome and kind of let him rest it
(19:01):
off and then that probably befine.
And then the next morning whenI came to check on him, he had
passed away over the night.
Yeah, so I had the best day.
And then two days later I lostour other dog and I had to be.
(19:25):
You know, I was the one whofound him and then I had to go
wake up the kids and tell themthat Cody had died.
So, and I know so many of youhave been through the death of a
vet and we knew it was comingbecause he was almost 13.
(19:45):
But I don't know things, justdon't prepare you for that and I
thought he was going to be okayand he wasn't.
And the vet was shocked that hehad passed away.
He did not understand what hadhappened and the kids and I sat
with him for a long time and wedid pop prints with him and then
(20:10):
we had to do the horrible taskof taking him back to the vet
and saying goodbye yeah, yeah,and you weren't here, which was
also really hard.
And I had a lot I have still,but I'm working through it a lot
of guilt that I didn't doeverything I could have done for
(20:32):
him.
So it's just been, it's beenreally hard.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
It's been really hard hard to say goodbye to him,
feeling that I just brought thisother dog in and I don't know
made things bad for him orsomething, and then he was gone
two days later.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I again those of you out there that have gone through
this.
This is like one of the hardestthings I mean you the death of
a family member and the death ofan aunt.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
He was truly our, our family.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I've been so hard wanting you to let that guilt go
.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I know you, you feel bad.
But everyone around you, thekids, cody, everyone experienced
that wonderful day of having anew dog, a new beginning, cody
being everything he could be,devon and our kids, our two kids
, just absolutely lovingeverything about it, our, your
(21:39):
sister, your brother, everyoneseeing the joy that was going on
and then to lose him.
It's not your fault.
You brought joy into our family.
You made the pain of the lossof Cody.
You know there you will neverforget.
But now we have joy to move usforward, to keep the joy going
(22:02):
in our family.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Yeah, it's been five weeks and it still, it still
hurts a lot.
Yeah, it's, it's been prettybrutal, but we do have Stormy
and that's been a wonderful gift.
And many people have said, youknow, because Cody was old, you
(22:25):
know he was deaf and blind, andmany people have said that he
just needed to know that we weregoing to be okay and then he
had truly like the last, thebest, last day, and then he
decided we were okay and and andpassed on.
And I don't know if that's true, but it does give me some a
(22:46):
little bit of peace.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I mean, it's be fair deaf, blind.
He had a hard time walking.
Going down the stairs was achallenge.
He was falling a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I mean it could have been a lot, lot longer of a
process.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
It was abrupt and I do feel very grateful that,
first of all, we didn't have tomake the decision that I know so
many people have to make ofputting a pet down.
Grateful we didn't have to getto that, and also I'm grateful
we had time to say goodbye,because I know a lot of people
don't get that opportunity to,so there was blessings in that
(23:26):
as well.
So, yeah, that's where I'vebeen in a lot of grief over that
.
I knew I would feel, but itjust hit me much, much harder
than I thought and it alsocarried a lot of guilt with it.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
So, but wait, there's more as we move through that.
My shows wrap up.
The life was stormy.
It becomes a new norm Barkingreally early in the morning, the
getting up, the in and out myschedule training him.
Training him, scheduling allthat, and suddenly you are
(24:08):
whacked with the longest streakof migraines you've ever had in
your entire life.
We're talking did you go 12days?
I think so.
12 straight days of migraines.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Migraines are very common for me.
I've had them my whole life.
Ever since I started havingperiods I've had migraines
pretty much at least once amonth, but typically they'll go
a couple of days and then moveon.
Over the last few years they'llgo maybe three to four days
I'll have them and then they goaway until the next cycle.
(24:46):
But I have had a couple recentones where they've gone longer
than that.
And then, yeah, this particularepisode, it just every day.
I'd get a little relief from mymedication and then the next
morning I'd wake up severemigraine and it just went on
like that, day after day, me ina lot of pain.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
And for those of you that suffer from migraines or
other debilitating things thathappen.
You know the challenge that youare faced with.
You know the pain and theinability to get comfortable.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
It's brutal.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
It's brutal.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
It's brutal, it affects literally everything.
It affects our relationship,because I can't connect, I don't
want to, because I'm somiserable I don't sleep, my work
gets affected, everything.
So, yep, I've been dealing withalmost two weeks of migraines
and I finally had you take me tothe urgent care this past
(25:44):
Friday and he gave me a coupleinjections and also put me on
steroids to stop the cycle ofmigraines, because I guess now
I'm learning Sometimes people goin these cycles of migraines
and can't get out of them andneed help getting out.
So I got help to get out andlast three days I felt like a
person and it's been amazing,amazing.
(26:06):
Yeah, I'm so, so grateful and Ithink we all maybe most of us
anyway unless you live withchronic disease most of us
completely take for grantedfeeling normal.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
We take it for granted, but it is the most
amazing gift, and you realizethat if you don't have your
health, you literally havenothing.
Nothing was okay while I wasgoing through that and it feels
like it's never gonna end.
So I am very grateful to besitting here with you and that's
why we're sitting here, becauseI feel good.
(26:41):
I'm feeling better mentally.
Yes, I'm still hurting, butevery day I'm processing through
, getting better.
I'm feeling better physicallyand ready to pick my life back
up again.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Now this moves us towards the end.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yes, the carrot that I dangled earlier, and that was
Well, let me just say thank youfor helping me get through this,
because I'm so grateful to haveyour support, your emotional
support, as I went through thegrief of Cody and I know you
Grieve too, but it's differentthan what I was grieving, plus I
was carrying the guilt andyou're helping me through that
(27:16):
and and just helping me getthrough my grains when you've
got to pick up and and do somuch for me, be that I can't do
so.
Thank you for being there forme.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Of course.
Okay, now we can go to what youso this year, this summer, is
our 25 year Anniversary.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
If any relationship out there makes it to 25 years,
you deserve a high fivecongratulations.
It's.
It's Incredible, because ifyou're listening to this, you're
probably in a relationship andyou know how hard it is.
You know how difficult it is.
You know the growth you have togo through to get through one
year, five years, ten years,fifteen years, let alone twenty
(27:55):
or twenty five years.
And it is hard, it's rewarding,it's incredible, and you and I
decided that we are going torenew our vows.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yes, and we knew this years ago we were gonna do this
on our 25th.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Yeah, and we're gonna do it in our favorite place and
we're gonna have family andfriends come and join us.
So we're about to to cut looseand head to Cancun.
Yes and next week get remarried.
Yeah so, who knows, by the timeyou're listening to this, we
may already be re-hitched.
So but yeah, it's, it's, it'sincredible, it's all that we're
(28:30):
going through.
Like it's been hard for us toget excited about this because
of, well, we just shared withyou.
Yeah, there's a lot, so much,and so now we're really excited.
Yeah we're excited.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah, and, and you said, everybody who gets to 25
deserves a high five.
Yes, you do, but a lot ofpeople who get to 25 are not in
a good place.
Yeah and I do just want torecognize that had, had we been
in the same place Maybe four orfive years ago and hit our 25.
(29:03):
I don't think we would berenewing our vows.
It's the work that we've donein the last Especially handful
of years yes, over our entiremarriage, but especially the
last four years or so hassignificantly changed our lives,
our relationship, so that now,truly hitting 25, we can say we
(29:25):
are way better than we've everbeen, much more connected than
we've ever been, so that when westand there and renew our vows,
this is truly a renewal of of amarriage.
We're in a different place thanwe've ever been in our whole,
entire marriage.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah it's.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
We've worked so hard to get here, so, yes, we deserve
a high five.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
We deserve a party.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
We're taking a you know, a few family and friends
and really celebrate all thework that we've put in to where
we are, celebrate our love andCelebrate what we have ahead of
us in a beautiful future,absolutely so.
I'm excited to tell you allabout our wonderful trip to
Cancun.
Yeah, coming here in the future.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yep, absolutely Well.
We thank you guys for listeningand supporting so much.
Support each other.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Keep doing the work.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah, yeah and we know we're not the only ones
that are in it.
And if you've got a story toshare, if there's something
you'd like us to explore on thepodcast, please let us know,
please let us hear from you,even if it's, if it's similar to
what we're discussing whereit's, you know, health or a loss
of a pet, loss of a pet.
Yeah, please, let us hear fromyou.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
You can email us at married in naked at gmailcom, or
you can certainly Instagrammessage us married in naked on
Instagram and thank you so muchfor listening.
We love you all.
Hope you are having an awesomesummer and enjoying your time
with the kiddos at home and ifnot, trust me, it'll be over
before you know it and we'lltalk to you next time on the
(31:01):
married in naked podcast.
Bye everybody.
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