July 25, 2025 • 30 mins
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In this special episode, we’re sharing our full love story.
From the moment we met in junior high with a simple handshake to 27 years of marriage (and counting). We discuss how our friendship began, the letters we exchanged in school, our first slow dance, and the kiss that changed everything.
We reflect on everything from our first slow dance to renewing our vows 25 years later. And how choosing each other young didn’t mean missing out. It meant growing up and growing closer.
If you love a good love story, this one is for you.
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Email marriednnaked@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Married and Naked Podcast.
I'm Tammy, founder of the blogMarried and Naked, certified
sexuality coach and speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And I'm Joel, tv host , motivational speaker and the
guinea pig to the lessons you'reabout to learn.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We're high school sweethearts, married over two
decades, and we're on a missionto help you create the marriage
you desire and deserve.
Let's get naked.
Welcome to the Married andNaked podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hi everybody.
Hi Joel, how are you today?
I am good, I'm eating a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Probably a poor choice for a podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I think you hit the record button just a little too
soon.
That's what I think.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
How's it going, baby?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
It's going good, sweetheart.
How are you doing Good?
I will say this.
I was just starting to sharewith you a dilemma that I think
I had.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
And you said, wait, wait, wait, let's get this on
the podcast, so can I save itfor this.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Save the story for the podcast.
Okay, let me finish sharingwith you the dilemma.
I was at the place where wepick up our mail and one of the
ladies behind the counter saysour box number, right off the
like.
She literally says our boxnumber and I went oh, how do you
remember that?
And she said oh, I'll neverforget somebody who brings me
cookies in December.
She has said this to me threetimes and every time there's a
(01:20):
crowd of people in there and shesays it loud enough so
everybody can hear it.
Here's the dilemma I have notbrought them a crowd of people
in there and she says it loudenough so everybody can hear it.
Here's the dilemma I have notbrought them a box of cookies in
December, so I don't know whatto do.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
She's mistaking you for somebody else and you're
getting preferential treatmentbecause of it.
I mean, are you getting specialtreatment because of it?
She remembers being kind.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
She remembers the box number.
She goes and gets the mail.
This is one where the boxes arebehind the the counter, and so
she goes, gets the mail andbrings it to me.
I mean, that's the preferentialtreatment.
But the fact that she remembersand she is associating me with
something or someone that's notme, yeah, it makes me feel so
uncomfortable and I don't knowwhat to do.
Do I hey, by the way, it's notme that did that to you or for
(02:06):
you?
Or do I bring in a box ofcookies now to just absolve me
of this guilt?
Or I've got C.
Is she elaborately setting meup for December?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You mean she's trying to get you to bring her a box
of cookies?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
A hundred percent.
Like is she laying thefoundation to bring, to have me
bring a box of cookies inDecember?
And because there's so manypeople in the store every time,
everyone else is hearing thattoo.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Okay, I think that that's a.
No, I'm going to.
I'm going to reject C.
I don't think.
Think that's the plan so areyou getting preferential
treatment, or are you stillwaiting in line and going about
just like everybody else?
She just happens to think sheknows you.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I?
I think I'm still waiting inline.
Yeah, so it's not like I'mbeing you know.
Hey, let me go get your mailwhen there's five people in
front of me.
No, no, okay so what would youdo?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
let's see a.
You just let it go.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh, I didn't even give that option.
I didn't give that option.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
That's definitely an option.
Okay, let it go, and you saynothing.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Okay, b B, I come clean.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
You come clean.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
You just say I'm sorry, you've got me mistaken.
I never brought you cookies andI feel real bad about that, so
I got to get out of my chest.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
But she's done it three times.
Now I'm in the hole.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm in the hole right now, you can still come clean,
though.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Or C?
Do I just bring in cookies nowto absolve my guilt?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And do what?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Just say, hey, I just wanted to bring you cookies,
that's it.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
No, because then you're still taking credit for
something you didn't do.
I mean, if that's what you wantto do, here's what I think you
should do.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Okay, what.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I think you bring in the cookies and you say, hey,
you've been saying that I'm theone that brought in cookies, but
you've got me mistaken forsomebody else.
But I'm bringing you cookiesnow.
So now you can be correct inthat I brought you cookies, but
I brought them in June.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Okay, Okay, okay.
I like this plan.
I think that's a good plan, orI'm still going to go with D,
the outlier that she's settingme up.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
She's not setting you up.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
She might be setting me up.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
That's too long.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
No, because here's the deal.
Why would?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
somebody want to wait an entire year for cookies.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Because here's the deal year for cookies.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Because here's the deal you darn tootin, I'm gonna
bring cookies in in december.
Now did you say darn tootin?
You never say darn to you're.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You're like 85 years old you bet I'm bringing cookies
in this december I think youshould just go get them come
clean okay and say fresh start.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Now you can say I'm the one who brought them to you
in june okay, see, this is why Igo to you.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
You're, you're, you're my angel on my shoulder.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I think it's cute that it's bothering you and you
don't just like I take it andrun.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So you know that it would bug me too.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I would be saying I'm not the one.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You'd just be holding the white flag, right away.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I think so, yeah, you .
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You know, for me, obviously I get credit.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Or I'd be like did I bring you cookies?
That's true.
Did I?
That is true?
Maybe I did bring you cookies.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Don't doubt yourself, because you probably did,
didn't, didn't, didn't, nevermind, because you don't know
with you.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
What does that mean?
You don't know with me.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Oh, we're going to.
I thought we just walked rightover that.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Because you know you probably may have or you
probably didn't, but you'llnever remember because I have
terrible memory.
Yeah, yeah yeah, we were justgonna go right over that, okay,
but you had to stop and andunpack that so it's a good story
.
I like it all right.
Well, good luck and report backwhat you do.
Joel and I've been doing thispodcast since 2020.
We we started in 2020, like amonth before COVID the shutdown
(05:48):
obviously having no idea it wascoming our way, and we've, you
know, done it kind of on and off, but always kind of on, just
sporadically, throughout.
It's been a really long timethat we've been doing this and
I'm not sure that we've evershared truly shared our story,
(06:08):
so it seems like a good time todo that.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, this was, I know, when you mentioned it
before we started I was like,wow, that's kind of cool.
I guess we really hadn't sharedour story.
And I went back and kind oflistened to the first few
episodes and, yeah, we just, youknow, kind of briefly told
about our story, but we didn'treally like share how you and I
started and so, yeah, it's kindof we say in the beginning we're
high school sweethearts.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
So clearly you know that.
But today we thought we'd sharea little bit of our story with
you.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
We're going to get died back, so here we go.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I grew up in Chino, california, and I went to
elementary school and ourelementary school most of the
kids that graduated sixth gradewith me transferred with me into
seventh grade.
So our junior high was seventhand eighth grade.
So we I transferred intoseventh grade and for whatever
(07:02):
reason, those friendships justkind of dissolved, even though
they were like my best friends.
I don't know what happened.
I think it happens to somepeople.
In seventh grade I was withoutfriends pretty much and we had
lockers then.
I don't think many people havelockers anymore, but we had
lockers then and I had a lockernext to a girl named Shauna and
(07:25):
we hit it off right away.
We became kind of fast friendsand I'll stop there because I'm
not quite sure your story incoming into seventh grade, into
that junior high.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
First of all, people are like oh dang, we're going
all the way back.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Well, yeah that is where our story began.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
From sixth grade to seventh grade.
My relationships wereobliterated because my mom and
stepdad got married and I movedfrom Rialto, California, to
Chino, California.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Which isn't very far, but obviously you're moving
schools like 25 minutes away.
So yeah, there's no morefriendships no more friendship,
no internet back then or no,texting yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Everybody was gone and so and it was, it was, it
was really cool, it was a goodmove, it was an exciting time.
You know, my mom was reallyhappy and my stepdad was really
awesome.
They're still married to thisday and we've talked a lot about
them on this, on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
But um so seventh grade.
Uh, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I moved into, so seventh grade.
I moved into seventh grade notknowing a single soul at this
school and it wasn't very longinto the school where Shauna was
in one of my classes.
I don't think she ever saidlike, hey, I want to introduce
you to this person.
I just remember theintroduction.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, I remember her walking up to me.
It was in the beginning ofseventh grade.
Early on in seventh grade,walking up to me, you were next
to her and she said something tothe effect of Tammy, I want you
to meet Joel.
And I remember you put yourhand out to shake mine and I
always think that's the funniestthing and it's just such a I
(09:03):
don't know indication of likewho you are and who you were,
because you who shakes handswhen you, we were 11 years old,
we were 11.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Yeah.
Were we going on 12 then no,well, no, I think we, just I
don't know it may be going on,but I think we were still 11.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
It was early on, yeah , anyway.
Yeah, you put your hand out toshake mine and I was like, who
is this weird kid shaking?
Okay, shauna, and that was theday that our life changed
forever.
But we didn't know that at thattime, but it truly changed our
lives, her introducing you and Iway back then.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
You know, it's so funny If you think about all the
people that I'm talking to you,the listener.
Funny If you think about allthe people that I'm talking to
you, the listener, all thepeople you meet throughout your
life.
If you can go back to thatmoment, you met yours, you know.
Call it a soulmate, call ityour spouse.
Did you know?
Could you know?
Did you have any feeling?
(09:59):
And it's such a weird thingbecause we think and talk about
this a lot Like I had no clue.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
We were children.
I think a lot of people do know, like I've heard, like love at
first sight or I knew the momentI saw them I was going to marry
them.
And I think ours is a littlebit unique because it's hard for
us to remember, because it wasso long ago and we were just
children.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
We're just kids.
That's the part.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Like I don't clearly remember what that day looked
like or anything like that.
It's kind of vague in my head.
I just know that we wereintroduced by Shauna.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You know what, though ?
I remember that day, thatmeeting, that handshake.
I remember what you werewearing.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I remember the bag you had on your remember what I
was wearing you?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
had a jean jacket on with a white shirt, jeans, and
you had a jean bag on your onyour shoulder.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I remember I didn't know.
You remember what I wore?
I?
Think I remember that's soaccurate to what I wore all in
middle school.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Shauna had curly black or dark brown long hair
and I swear she was wearing apink top with jeans.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Well, after that meeting I'm not sure exactly
what happened, and shortly afterthis is.
I don't have any memoriesbetween this time, but we
connected or met up, not evenmet up we came across each other
at the seventh grade dance andthat was my first school dance
ever.
I'd never been to a schooldance before, had you?
(11:31):
No, yeah, very first schooldance after school and I
remember I don't even rememberyou asking, but I remember we
slow danced together andobviously this was my first
dance.
This is my very first slowdance and my recollection of it
is awkward.
(11:51):
Do you remember asking me toslow dance?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I don't remember asking you to slow dance.
I just remember slow dancingwith you.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And then what I asked you when we were done slow
dancing Well, what I rememberabout the slow dance is that our
arms were, I mean, locked tight, like as far back as we can be
from each other.
I remember that it just feltawkward, like you don't really
want to make eye contact.
You know you think it's goingto be so romantic, and then it's
definitely not romantic, it'sjust so scary and awkward.
(12:20):
And I have a recollection of itbeing a song that friends lean
on me and that's what I thinkthe song was.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
See, I don't remember that.
That's remarkable that you canremember.
If that's accurate, let's justsay it's accurate, because that
song became a theme in ourrelationship as we move forward.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Well, wouldn't that make sense?
Then it would make sense.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
So we're just going to give you that as a kudo right
there, I think it was.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
but okay, I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
What I remember is after that I asked you will you
go out with me Right Back?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
then we called I guess kids date, no, you don't
date.
Back then but at school.
You called it going out.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Going out, yeah, yeah .
And guess what she said?
I think I've shared before inthe podcast here.
You said no.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yeah, I said no.
I wonder why I said no.
I think I was just too scaredand uncomfortable.
Again she's a shy girl.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
So, if we think about this seventh grade I'm in a new
school I met this incrediblegirl.
I obviously thought she wasincredible enough to ask her out
the first person I had everasked out, the first person I'd
ever danced with at a schooldance.
And she says no, I said no babybut I got thick skin, so we'll
(13:38):
continue on.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Well, I don't know what happened after that details
.
I just know we became friendsand we started hanging out, Like
I.
The earliest one memories Ihave of like spending time with
you is like in the library.
We would hang out at lunchtimein the library.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
With the couple friends that we did have.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
At that time and then , somewhere along the way, we
would talk on the phone.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
And then what I really remember is you and I
would write these friendshipletters and they were truly
friendship letters, but we wouldtalk about, like, how great
each other was, how much weloved each other, but as friends
, yeah.
And we'd write these reallylong letters and we'd fold them
up in the cute ways that you do.
You know, you tuck them inthese really cute, like origami
(14:26):
style ways and we would slipthem in each other's lockers.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah, we did this all of seventh grade.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And we became really great friends.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
By the end of seventh grade, I truly considered you
my best friend.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Certainly my best friend at school, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, it was awesome.
And then between seventh andeighth grade I took off.
I left you, I went toSacramento and lived with my
father for about four months andthen it didn't last very long
Came back right after the- Tolive with your mom again.
To live with my mom again rightafter December Came back in
January.
I didn't come back to the samejunior high school, I went to a
(15:04):
different junior high school.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
But our friendship picked right up where we left it
.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
All I remember.
I don't even know if we stayedin touch during that time.
I don't remember what happened.
All I remember is one day youwere back at my door again and I
feel like you had a cast.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, and in fact, let's set this up.
So Tammy and I livedapproximately a mile, a mile and
a half apart.
Yeah, it was within walking,riding, bike distance.
You know what I mean.
So yeah, you're right.
I came back, I had a I had aplane around with my friend on
our grass lawn and I injured myone of my fingers and I ended up
having a cast that went over myhand.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
So it looked ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yeah and yeah, I showed up and I was like, hey,
you remember me, kind of likeremember me, and I just remember
, like, oh, I didn't know howmuch I missed you.
We must have spent the rest ofthe day together and it was just
like, even though we were atdifferent schools, we picked up
the conversations on the phone,yeah.
And then, as we get towardsninth grade, you uh, the summer,
(16:09):
you like, I want to introduceyou to my best friend.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, my, my best friend prior to Joel was always
my cousin and I introduced youto her because we were always
hanging out.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Then, yeah, and then Joel decided he wanted you're
just going to go right into thathuh he decided he wanted to
date her oh, wow even though mydebt, my feelings for you were
definitely growing, if not infull bloom, by then but to be
fair, I didn't know that Ididn't know that and it wasn't
(16:47):
until we were together uh, yourcousin and I that I started
recognizing oh, oh, there'ssomething else here with you,
and I didn't know that, but youwere still like that person I
was talking to all the time,communicating with, sharing with
what was going on between meand your cousin, and you always-
.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I was your confidant, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, you were, and so-.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
We spent a lot of time together.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
You did, we spent, we , we spent.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
I, honestly, I spent more time with you than I spent
with your cousin and we were youknow the ones together, and
then I started seeing somebodyif you can call it seeing, when
you're in ninth grade, and Ithought I'm just going to do
this because Joel doesn't likeme is kind of what.
I thought.
He just likes her and so I'mgoing to go and be with somebody
else.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
And he's a good guy too.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah, and I kind of gave up on the idea of you
wanting to be with me.
And then one day that just allchanged.
Well, you got, my cousin brokeup with you.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, yeah, I, yes, I was.
I was heartbroken, you were alittle heartbroken.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
So you spent more time with me.
We spent the, and that was thewhole summer.
We spent kind of the wholesummer just hanging out and you
would come over to my house andwe would sit on my porch, cause
you weren't allowed to comeinside my house.
We'd sit on my porch and we'dtalk, and I don't know, we just
hung out every single day.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Your house was literally right around the
corner from our high school, andso I would go to your house
every day, and then, I don'tknow, around the time, either
your folks came home or one ofyour parents came home, or I'd
be invited to dinner with yourfolks all the time.
I'd eat there and then I'd gohome.
I'd ride my bike home to myhouse, which is, like I said,
about a mile and a half away atthis time, and we did this all
(18:35):
summer, like you said.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
And then one day, about a month or so before our
10th grade, we I don't know whathappened, but we had our first
kiss.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Well, I know what happened you went away on a trip
, and then I went away on a tripand while I was on this trip, I
just remember thinking, like Ican't stop thinking about you.
Like I liked you so much, Iliked you, so you and we were
like 14 at this time, right yeah.
I think we were 13.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
13 or 14, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I think we were turning 14.
And I just I couldn't stopthinking.
I was even with a group.
I was in Hawaii with my familyand I was even with this group
of people that I felt wereflirting with me.
And these girls that wereflirting and having a good time,
and and I was just like youknow, do you have a girl at home
?
No, I got a best friend.
What's her?
Name or what's their name, andI'm like his name and I'm like,
oh, his name is Tammy.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I just remember thinking oh my gosh, I really
like Tammy.
One day we had our first kissand I did have a boyfriend at
the time I had kind of fooledmyself that I didn't have
feelings about you, you didn'thave feelings about me.
And one day there was justmagic in the air, I don't know,
(19:46):
and we had our first kiss andthe very next day I told my
boyfriend I needed to break upwith him.
And he was devastated.
And I still feel bad about that, real bad.
And then that was it for us.
From that moment forward, wenever, ever, ever, looked back,
we never broke up.
(20:06):
We have been togetherpractically every day, ever
since 10th grade otherpractically every day ever since
10th grade.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
That kiss happened on August 14th and nine years
after we had that first kiss,like you said, high school
sweethearts.
Then we went to college, wentto separate colleges.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
We were voted most likely to get married in our
high school yearbook.
I just did a story on thatrecently, showing the picture of
us in our high school yearbook.
We went to college.
We stayed at home and went tocollege.
We went to college not too farfrom each other, but we were
still home.
So every night after college Iwould come over to your house
and hang out.
(20:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's crazy and then nineyears later less than nine years
later, I guess you proposedwhen I was in my final year of
college, up in the freezingmountains.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Mount Charleston Las.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Vegas, in Nevada, and you were walking around the
mountains and I'm like what arewe doing up here?
It is so cold, I really don'tlike the snow.
Like what are we doing here?
And I don't know.
I turned around and was lookingat something.
When I turned back, you were onyour knee and you proposed and
that was a magical day.
(21:24):
Yeah, truly magical.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
And we got married on August 15th.
We couldn't do it on the 14thbecause it was A Friday.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
I believe A Friday yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
So we got married on August 15th.
Couldn't do it on the 14thbecause it was a friday, I
believe a friday, yeah, so wegot married on august 15th um
1998.
Yeah, so it's crazy.
So this summer is our 27th yearyeah, and we renewed our vows
two years ago.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Two years ago on the 25th, on our 25th year, yeah
yeah, yeah, so it's, yeah, yeah,yeah, so it's been a long
beautiful crazy, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Challenging.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Challenging, sometimes heartbreaking.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Rewarding.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Amazing love story.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, two grown kids now.
Yeah, which is incredible.
You know the one thing.
It's so incredible when we sithere and lay this out and we go
over our story.
You know it's beautiful, it'sstrange, it's different and it's
also, I feel, like man, do weput pressure on our kids to have
this kind of love story?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
You know we do because they've told us.
They said like gosh, like talkabout you know something to live
up to.
They've always felt this sensethat they were supposed to meet
their person in school too.
It's been a hard thing for themto navigate as well.
Yeah, and I get it.
(22:42):
You know, I think we're a veryrare, a rare thing and for
whatever reason, at 13 years oldor 12 years old, we decided
this was 12, we decided wewanted to be friends and just
kept that going and kept workingon our friendship and not
letting that go Like that's avery rare thing.
And then for that to then turninto a relationship, so I kind
(23:04):
of feel bad.
We set them up for that, but youcan't do anything about that,
my hope is, they just arelearning what it's like to be in
a relationship and the workthat it takes and the love that
it takes, and what's possiblefor them if they do commit and
work on a relationship.
Because we're now 27 years thisAugust and we found our way to
(23:29):
our best years yet.
Yeah, 100% yeah through a tonof ton of work and a lot, a lot
of lows, but we're better thanever, and so I hope that that's
what they're learning ispossible for them.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
You know, over the years, I've had so many people
say to me and I know they'vesaid variations to you as well
but, like, hey, don't you feellike you missed out?
Or don't you feel like you youknow you didn't play the field
or you didn't see what?
And I've always I always saythis to you and I've always
remained firm on this Like, whatam I missing out on?
Like, really, tell me what I'mmissing out on Variety.
(24:04):
Is that what I'm missing out on?
Different people.
I never, ever, thought I wantedto spend the time, energy and
effort in trying to developsomething that I already knew I
had.
And I think that's the thingthat you know.
(24:27):
I've always said this to youlike, you are like my best
friend, what am I going to lookfor in somebody else?
And I wonder, like, is theresomething for you?
That people have always said toyou Like, hey, what about this?
Or what about that?
Have you missed out?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
It's the same question.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Do you feel like you missed out?
I don't feel like I missed outon relationships.
I wouldn't want that any otherway.
I sometimes wish that I hadspent time on my own before we
got married, so like moved outon my own so that I had an
opportunity just to experiencebeing on my own.
My own, so that I had anopportunity just to experience
being on my own because I went,we went from home right into
(25:04):
marriage, not being apart fromyou, just living on my own.
Because of my personality type,I mean, you know I I have a
hard time separating myself fromyou and your needs.
So I sometimes wish I had knownor done better in fighting for
my own independence while we'retogether, if that makes sense at
(25:27):
all it's not a regret at all.
I don't have any regrets aboutour relationship or our path,
but it's now something I'mworking on now which is much
harder to do when you're 50years old is figuring out how do
I become my own person when Idon't even quite know a lot of
who I am.
Or my path went right into youas a young girl and you're a big
(25:54):
, bright, strong personality andI followed that path and I
supported and lifted and dideverything I could for you, and
in that and also being a mom andin that, I lost a lot of me, or
I never knew.
That's what I really think.
I never figured out who shefully was.
Yeah, so that's what I'm tryingto do now, but I don't feel
(26:17):
like there's any ever was a timethat I didn't, that I wished I
had had more opportunities withother people.
That's never been a wish ofmine.
Yeah, our path has beenincredible and that's just been
my journey and now I'm on it,you know, in a discovery mode
now, which is great in yourfifties too.
So there's no regrets.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
We've had a beautiful , beautiful love story.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Incredible love story .
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yeah, I think it's like.
I mean one they make moviesabout.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
It's like when they do podcast on special.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
And yeah.
Yeah, although when I put out,are you to like my followers?
Are you high school sweetheartstoo, man?
Yeah, a lot of people have ourstory, so we're not that unique
well and in here, okay.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
So here's the other thing in your family.
It is absolutely mind-boggling.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Your sister married her high school sweetheart yes,
they had a different path thanus, but yeah, true, your brother
married his high schoolsweetheart, yes, and your other
brother?
Or they knew each other in highschool, but they they weren't
together then yeah and yourother sister yeah, they had a
(27:35):
very interesting path of many,many years, but then came back
to each other.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
So I guess all of us wound up with people that we
knew or dated in high school.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, that's funny, not my parents, but yeah.
Not your parents.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
That is funny.
There was many, many timeswhere we thought happy ever
after is not a part of our story.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
And we kept fighting.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Kept fighting, and fighting I mean in the good way,
fighting for each other.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
I know you talk about this a lot and you've said
we've said this a lot throughdifferent episodes that is, we
change, we evolve.
We're not the same people wewere when we were 11, 12, 13, 14
, 15.
Sure, or 23, when we gotmarried, or even three years ago
.
We are continuously changing.
So that, to me, is the mostremarkable part of our story is
(28:30):
that we are continuouslyevolving and changing with each
other.
I just want to say, if anybodyknows where Shauna is, I yes,
her name was Shauna Alvarado.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
We went to Townsend Junior High in Chino Hills,
california, and that would havebeen.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Yeah, I think it was 86.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
It would have been like 1986, I believe.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
I don't remember at all what happened to Shauna.
I don't remember us even havinglike this really long
relationship, even in seventhgrade.
I feel like maybe she movedaway.
I don't know what happened.
I feel like she was just in ourlife for this very short period
of time, and then I have nomemory of her after that.
(29:14):
So I think she moved away and,if anybody knows, I've always,
always, always I've looked ather up on Facebook, I've tried
to figure out how to find her,yeah, but I would sure like to
thank her.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Oh, we both like to thank her.
We owe her a wow, so much.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
So thank you, Shauna.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Thank you, Shauna.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
When we were 11 years old.
What a lucky day that was.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, thank you, baby .
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I years old.
What a lucky day that was.
Yeah, thank you, baby.
Thank you, I love you so much.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
I love you more than anything, kosh, and that's that,
there's our story.
Thank you for listening.
If you want to share your storywith us, your love story, we
would love to hear that too.
You can email us at marriedinthe letter N naked at gmailcom,
and we'll talk to you next timeon the Married and Naked podcast
.
Bye, everybody.
Welcome to the Married and Naked Podcast.
I'm Tammy, founder of the blogMarried and Naked, certified
sexuality coach and speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And I'm Joel, tv host , motivational speaker and the
guinea pig to the lessons you'reabout to learn.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We're high school sweethearts, married over two
decades, and we're on a missionto help you create the marriage
you desire and deserve.
Let's get naked.
Welcome to the Married andNaked podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hi everybody.
Hi Joel, how are you today?
I am good, I'm eating a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Probably a poor choice for a podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I think you hit the record button just a little too
soon.
That's what I think.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
How's it going, baby?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
It's going good, sweetheart.
How are you doing Good?
I will say this.
I was just starting to sharewith you a dilemma that I think
I had.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
And you said, wait, wait, wait, let's get this on
the podcast, so can I save itfor this.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Save the story for the podcast.
Okay, let me finish sharingwith you the dilemma.
I was at the place where wepick up our mail and one of the
ladies behind the counter saysour box number, right off the
like.
She literally says our boxnumber and I went oh, how do you
remember that?
And she said oh, I'll neverforget somebody who brings me
cookies in December.
She has said this to me threetimes and every time there's a
(01:20):
crowd of people in there and shesays it loud enough so
everybody can hear it.
Here's the dilemma I have notbrought them a crowd of people
in there and she says it loudenough so everybody can hear it.
Here's the dilemma I have notbrought them a box of cookies in
December, so I don't know whatto do.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
She's mistaking you for somebody else and you're
getting preferential treatmentbecause of it.
I mean, are you getting specialtreatment because of it?
She remembers being kind.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
She remembers the box number.
She goes and gets the mail.
This is one where the boxes arebehind the the counter, and so
she goes, gets the mail andbrings it to me.
I mean, that's the preferentialtreatment.
But the fact that she remembersand she is associating me with
something or someone that's notme, yeah, it makes me feel so
uncomfortable and I don't knowwhat to do.
Do I hey, by the way, it's notme that did that to you or for
(02:06):
you?
Or do I bring in a box ofcookies now to just absolve me
of this guilt?
Or I've got C.
Is she elaborately setting meup for December?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You mean she's trying to get you to bring her a box
of cookies?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
A hundred percent.
Like is she laying thefoundation to bring, to have me
bring a box of cookies inDecember?
And because there's so manypeople in the store every time,
everyone else is hearing thattoo.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Okay, I think that that's a.
No, I'm going to.
I'm going to reject C.
I don't think.
Think that's the plan so areyou getting preferential
treatment, or are you stillwaiting in line and going about
just like everybody else?
She just happens to think sheknows you.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I?
I think I'm still waiting inline.
Yeah, so it's not like I'mbeing you know.
Hey, let me go get your mailwhen there's five people in
front of me.
No, no, okay so what would youdo?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
let's see a.
You just let it go.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh, I didn't even give that option.
I didn't give that option.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
That's definitely an option.
Okay, let it go, and you saynothing.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Okay, b B, I come clean.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
You come clean.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
You just say I'm sorry, you've got me mistaken.
I never brought you cookies andI feel real bad about that, so
I got to get out of my chest.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
But she's done it three times.
Now I'm in the hole.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm in the hole right now, you can still come clean,
though.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Or C?
Do I just bring in cookies nowto absolve my guilt?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And do what?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Just say, hey, I just wanted to bring you cookies,
that's it.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
No, because then you're still taking credit for
something you didn't do.
I mean, if that's what you wantto do, here's what I think you
should do.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Okay, what.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I think you bring in the cookies and you say, hey,
you've been saying that I'm theone that brought in cookies, but
you've got me mistaken forsomebody else.
But I'm bringing you cookiesnow.
So now you can be correct inthat I brought you cookies, but
I brought them in June.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Okay, Okay, okay.
I like this plan.
I think that's a good plan, orI'm still going to go with D,
the outlier that she's settingme up.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
She's not setting you up.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
She might be setting me up.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
That's too long.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
No, because here's the deal.
Why would?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
somebody want to wait an entire year for cookies.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Because here's the deal year for cookies.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Because here's the deal you darn tootin, I'm gonna
bring cookies in in december.
Now did you say darn tootin?
You never say darn to you're.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You're like 85 years old you bet I'm bringing cookies
in this december I think youshould just go get them come
clean okay and say fresh start.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Now you can say I'm the one who brought them to you
in june okay, see, this is why Igo to you.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
You're, you're, you're my angel on my shoulder.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I think it's cute that it's bothering you and you
don't just like I take it andrun.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So you know that it would bug me too.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I would be saying I'm not the one.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You'd just be holding the white flag, right away.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I think so, yeah, you .
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You know, for me, obviously I get credit.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Or I'd be like did I bring you cookies?
That's true.
Did I?
That is true?
Maybe I did bring you cookies.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Don't doubt yourself, because you probably did,
didn't, didn't, didn't, nevermind, because you don't know
with you.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
What does that mean?
You don't know with me.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Oh, we're going to.
I thought we just walked rightover that.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Because you know you probably may have or you
probably didn't, but you'llnever remember because I have
terrible memory.
Yeah, yeah yeah, we were justgonna go right over that, okay,
but you had to stop and andunpack that so it's a good story
.
I like it all right.
Well, good luck and report backwhat you do.
Joel and I've been doing thispodcast since 2020.
We we started in 2020, like amonth before COVID the shutdown
(05:48):
obviously having no idea it wascoming our way, and we've, you
know, done it kind of on and off, but always kind of on, just
sporadically, throughout.
It's been a really long timethat we've been doing this and
I'm not sure that we've evershared truly shared our story,
(06:08):
so it seems like a good time todo that.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, this was, I know, when you mentioned it
before we started I was like,wow, that's kind of cool.
I guess we really hadn't sharedour story.
And I went back and kind oflistened to the first few
episodes and, yeah, we just, youknow, kind of briefly told
about our story, but we didn'treally like share how you and I
started and so, yeah, it's kindof we say in the beginning we're
high school sweethearts.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
So clearly you know that.
But today we thought we'd sharea little bit of our story with
you.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
We're going to get died back, so here we go.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I grew up in Chino, california, and I went to
elementary school and ourelementary school most of the
kids that graduated sixth gradewith me transferred with me into
seventh grade.
So our junior high was seventhand eighth grade.
So we I transferred intoseventh grade and for whatever
(07:02):
reason, those friendships justkind of dissolved, even though
they were like my best friends.
I don't know what happened.
I think it happens to somepeople.
In seventh grade I was withoutfriends pretty much and we had
lockers then.
I don't think many people havelockers anymore, but we had
lockers then and I had a lockernext to a girl named Shauna and
(07:25):
we hit it off right away.
We became kind of fast friendsand I'll stop there because I'm
not quite sure your story incoming into seventh grade, into
that junior high.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
First of all, people are like oh dang, we're going
all the way back.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Well, yeah that is where our story began.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
From sixth grade to seventh grade.
My relationships wereobliterated because my mom and
stepdad got married and I movedfrom Rialto, California, to
Chino, California.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Which isn't very far, but obviously you're moving
schools like 25 minutes away.
So yeah, there's no morefriendships no more friendship,
no internet back then or no,texting yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Everybody was gone and so and it was, it was, it
was really cool, it was a goodmove, it was an exciting time.
You know, my mom was reallyhappy and my stepdad was really
awesome.
They're still married to thisday and we've talked a lot about
them on this, on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
But um so seventh grade.
Uh, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I moved into, so seventh grade.
I moved into seventh grade notknowing a single soul at this
school and it wasn't very longinto the school where Shauna was
in one of my classes.
I don't think she ever saidlike, hey, I want to introduce
you to this person.
I just remember theintroduction.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, I remember her walking up to me.
It was in the beginning ofseventh grade.
Early on in seventh grade,walking up to me, you were next
to her and she said something tothe effect of Tammy, I want you
to meet Joel.
And I remember you put yourhand out to shake mine and I
always think that's the funniestthing and it's just such a I
(09:03):
don't know indication of likewho you are and who you were,
because you who shakes handswhen you, we were 11 years old,
we were 11.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Yeah.
Were we going on 12 then no,well, no, I think we, just I
don't know it may be going on,but I think we were still 11.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
It was early on, yeah , anyway.
Yeah, you put your hand out toshake mine and I was like, who
is this weird kid shaking?
Okay, shauna, and that was theday that our life changed
forever.
But we didn't know that at thattime, but it truly changed our
lives, her introducing you and Iway back then.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
You know, it's so funny If you think about all the
people that I'm talking to you,the listener.
Funny If you think about allthe people that I'm talking to
you, the listener, all thepeople you meet throughout your
life.
If you can go back to thatmoment, you met yours, you know.
Call it a soulmate, call ityour spouse.
Did you know?
Could you know?
Did you have any feeling?
(09:59):
And it's such a weird thingbecause we think and talk about
this a lot Like I had no clue.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
We were children.
I think a lot of people do know, like I've heard, like love at
first sight or I knew the momentI saw them I was going to marry
them.
And I think ours is a littlebit unique because it's hard for
us to remember, because it wasso long ago and we were just
children.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
We're just kids.
That's the part.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Like I don't clearly remember what that day looked
like or anything like that.
It's kind of vague in my head.
I just know that we wereintroduced by Shauna.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You know what, though ?
I remember that day, thatmeeting, that handshake.
I remember what you werewearing.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I remember the bag you had on your remember what I
was wearing you?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
had a jean jacket on with a white shirt, jeans, and
you had a jean bag on your onyour shoulder.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I remember I didn't know.
You remember what I wore?
I?
Think I remember that's soaccurate to what I wore all in
middle school.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Shauna had curly black or dark brown long hair
and I swear she was wearing apink top with jeans.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Well, after that meeting I'm not sure exactly
what happened, and shortly afterthis is.
I don't have any memoriesbetween this time, but we
connected or met up, not evenmet up we came across each other
at the seventh grade dance andthat was my first school dance
ever.
I'd never been to a schooldance before, had you?
(11:31):
No, yeah, very first schooldance after school and I
remember I don't even rememberyou asking, but I remember we
slow danced together andobviously this was my first
dance.
This is my very first slowdance and my recollection of it
is awkward.
(11:51):
Do you remember asking me toslow dance?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I don't remember asking you to slow dance.
I just remember slow dancingwith you.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And then what I asked you when we were done slow
dancing Well, what I rememberabout the slow dance is that our
arms were, I mean, locked tight, like as far back as we can be
from each other.
I remember that it just feltawkward, like you don't really
want to make eye contact.
You know you think it's goingto be so romantic, and then it's
definitely not romantic, it'sjust so scary and awkward.
(12:20):
And I have a recollection of itbeing a song that friends lean
on me and that's what I thinkthe song was.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
See, I don't remember that.
That's remarkable that you canremember.
If that's accurate, let's justsay it's accurate, because that
song became a theme in ourrelationship as we move forward.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Well, wouldn't that make sense?
Then it would make sense.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
So we're just going to give you that as a kudo right
there, I think it was.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
but okay, I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
What I remember is after that I asked you will you
go out with me Right Back?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
then we called I guess kids date, no, you don't
date.
Back then but at school.
You called it going out.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Going out, yeah, yeah .
And guess what she said?
I think I've shared before inthe podcast here.
You said no.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yeah, I said no.
I wonder why I said no.
I think I was just too scaredand uncomfortable.
Again she's a shy girl.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
So, if we think about this seventh grade I'm in a new
school I met this incrediblegirl.
I obviously thought she wasincredible enough to ask her out
the first person I had everasked out, the first person I'd
ever danced with at a schooldance.
And she says no, I said no babybut I got thick skin, so we'll
(13:38):
continue on.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Well, I don't know what happened after that details
.
I just know we became friendsand we started hanging out, Like
I.
The earliest one memories Ihave of like spending time with
you is like in the library.
We would hang out at lunchtimein the library.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
With the couple friends that we did have.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
At that time and then , somewhere along the way, we
would talk on the phone.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
And then what I really remember is you and I
would write these friendshipletters and they were truly
friendship letters, but we wouldtalk about, like, how great
each other was, how much weloved each other, but as friends
, yeah.
And we'd write these reallylong letters and we'd fold them
up in the cute ways that you do.
You know, you tuck them inthese really cute, like origami
(14:26):
style ways and we would slipthem in each other's lockers.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah, we did this all of seventh grade.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And we became really great friends.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
By the end of seventh grade, I truly considered you
my best friend.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Certainly my best friend at school, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, it was awesome.
And then between seventh andeighth grade I took off.
I left you, I went toSacramento and lived with my
father for about four months andthen it didn't last very long
Came back right after the- Tolive with your mom again.
To live with my mom again rightafter December Came back in
January.
I didn't come back to the samejunior high school, I went to a
(15:04):
different junior high school.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
But our friendship picked right up where we left it
.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
All I remember.
I don't even know if we stayedin touch during that time.
I don't remember what happened.
All I remember is one day youwere back at my door again and I
feel like you had a cast.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, and in fact, let's set this up.
So Tammy and I livedapproximately a mile, a mile and
a half apart.
Yeah, it was within walking,riding, bike distance.
You know what I mean.
So yeah, you're right.
I came back, I had a I had aplane around with my friend on
our grass lawn and I injured myone of my fingers and I ended up
having a cast that went over myhand.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
So it looked ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yeah and yeah, I showed up and I was like, hey,
you remember me, kind of likeremember me, and I just remember
, like, oh, I didn't know howmuch I missed you.
We must have spent the rest ofthe day together and it was just
like, even though we were atdifferent schools, we picked up
the conversations on the phone,yeah.
And then, as we get towardsninth grade, you uh, the summer,
(16:09):
you like, I want to introduceyou to my best friend.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, my, my best friend prior to Joel was always
my cousin and I introduced youto her because we were always
hanging out.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Then, yeah, and then Joel decided he wanted you're
just going to go right into thathuh he decided he wanted to
date her oh, wow even though mydebt, my feelings for you were
definitely growing, if not infull bloom, by then but to be
fair, I didn't know that Ididn't know that and it wasn't
(16:47):
until we were together uh, yourcousin and I that I started
recognizing oh, oh, there'ssomething else here with you,
and I didn't know that, but youwere still like that person I
was talking to all the time,communicating with, sharing with
what was going on between meand your cousin, and you always-
.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I was your confidant, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, you were, and so-.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
We spent a lot of time together.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
You did, we spent, we , we spent.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
I, honestly, I spent more time with you than I spent
with your cousin and we were youknow the ones together, and
then I started seeing somebodyif you can call it seeing, when
you're in ninth grade, and Ithought I'm just going to do
this because Joel doesn't likeme is kind of what.
I thought.
He just likes her and so I'mgoing to go and be with somebody
else.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
And he's a good guy too.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah, and I kind of gave up on the idea of you
wanting to be with me.
And then one day that just allchanged.
Well, you got, my cousin brokeup with you.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, yeah, I, yes, I was.
I was heartbroken, you were alittle heartbroken.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
So you spent more time with me.
We spent the, and that was thewhole summer.
We spent kind of the wholesummer just hanging out and you
would come over to my house andwe would sit on my porch, cause
you weren't allowed to comeinside my house.
We'd sit on my porch and we'dtalk, and I don't know, we just
hung out every single day.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Your house was literally right around the
corner from our high school, andso I would go to your house
every day, and then, I don'tknow, around the time, either
your folks came home or one ofyour parents came home, or I'd
be invited to dinner with yourfolks all the time.
I'd eat there and then I'd gohome.
I'd ride my bike home to myhouse, which is, like I said,
about a mile and a half away atthis time, and we did this all
(18:35):
summer, like you said.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
And then one day, about a month or so before our
10th grade, we I don't know whathappened, but we had our first
kiss.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Well, I know what happened you went away on a trip
, and then I went away on a tripand while I was on this trip, I
just remember thinking, like Ican't stop thinking about you.
Like I liked you so much, Iliked you, so you and we were
like 14 at this time, right yeah.
I think we were 13.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
13 or 14, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I think we were turning 14.
And I just I couldn't stopthinking.
I was even with a group.
I was in Hawaii with my familyand I was even with this group
of people that I felt wereflirting with me.
And these girls that wereflirting and having a good time,
and and I was just like youknow, do you have a girl at home
?
No, I got a best friend.
What's her?
Name or what's their name, andI'm like his name and I'm like,
oh, his name is Tammy.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I just remember thinking oh my gosh, I really
like Tammy.
One day we had our first kissand I did have a boyfriend at
the time I had kind of fooledmyself that I didn't have
feelings about you, you didn'thave feelings about me.
And one day there was justmagic in the air, I don't know,
(19:46):
and we had our first kiss andthe very next day I told my
boyfriend I needed to break upwith him.
And he was devastated.
And I still feel bad about that, real bad.
And then that was it for us.
From that moment forward, wenever, ever, ever, looked back,
we never broke up.
(20:06):
We have been togetherpractically every day, ever
since 10th grade otherpractically every day ever since
10th grade.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
That kiss happened on August 14th and nine years
after we had that first kiss,like you said, high school
sweethearts.
Then we went to college, wentto separate colleges.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
We were voted most likely to get married in our
high school yearbook.
I just did a story on thatrecently, showing the picture of
us in our high school yearbook.
We went to college.
We stayed at home and went tocollege.
We went to college not too farfrom each other, but we were
still home.
So every night after college Iwould come over to your house
and hang out.
(20:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's crazy and then nineyears later less than nine years
later, I guess you proposedwhen I was in my final year of
college, up in the freezingmountains.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Mount Charleston Las.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Vegas, in Nevada, and you were walking around the
mountains and I'm like what arewe doing up here?
It is so cold, I really don'tlike the snow.
Like what are we doing here?
And I don't know.
I turned around and was lookingat something.
When I turned back, you were onyour knee and you proposed and
that was a magical day.
(21:24):
Yeah, truly magical.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
And we got married on August 15th.
We couldn't do it on the 14thbecause it was A Friday.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
I believe A Friday yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
So we got married on August 15th.
Couldn't do it on the 14thbecause it was a friday, I
believe a friday, yeah, so wegot married on august 15th um
1998.
Yeah, so it's crazy.
So this summer is our 27th yearyeah, and we renewed our vows
two years ago.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Two years ago on the 25th, on our 25th year, yeah
yeah, yeah, so it's, yeah, yeah,yeah, so it's been a long
beautiful crazy, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Challenging.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Challenging, sometimes heartbreaking.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Rewarding.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Amazing love story.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, two grown kids now.
Yeah, which is incredible.
You know the one thing.
It's so incredible when we sithere and lay this out and we go
over our story.
You know it's beautiful, it'sstrange, it's different and it's
also, I feel, like man, do weput pressure on our kids to have
this kind of love story?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
You know we do because they've told us.
They said like gosh, like talkabout you know something to live
up to.
They've always felt this sensethat they were supposed to meet
their person in school too.
It's been a hard thing for themto navigate as well.
Yeah, and I get it.
(22:42):
You know, I think we're a veryrare, a rare thing and for
whatever reason, at 13 years oldor 12 years old, we decided
this was 12, we decided wewanted to be friends and just
kept that going and kept workingon our friendship and not
letting that go Like that's avery rare thing.
And then for that to then turninto a relationship, so I kind
(23:04):
of feel bad.
We set them up for that, but youcan't do anything about that,
my hope is, they just arelearning what it's like to be in
a relationship and the workthat it takes and the love that
it takes, and what's possiblefor them if they do commit and
work on a relationship.
Because we're now 27 years thisAugust and we found our way to
(23:29):
our best years yet.
Yeah, 100% yeah through a tonof ton of work and a lot, a lot
of lows, but we're better thanever, and so I hope that that's
what they're learning ispossible for them.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
You know, over the years, I've had so many people
say to me and I know they'vesaid variations to you as well
but, like, hey, don't you feellike you missed out?
Or don't you feel like you youknow you didn't play the field
or you didn't see what?
And I've always I always saythis to you and I've always
remained firm on this Like, whatam I missing out on?
Like, really, tell me what I'mmissing out on Variety.
(24:04):
Is that what I'm missing out on?
Different people.
I never, ever, thought I wantedto spend the time, energy and
effort in trying to developsomething that I already knew I
had.
And I think that's the thingthat you know.
(24:27):
I've always said this to youlike, you are like my best
friend, what am I going to lookfor in somebody else?
And I wonder, like, is theresomething for you?
That people have always said toyou Like, hey, what about this?
Or what about that?
Have you missed out?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
It's the same question.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Do you feel like you missed out?
I don't feel like I missed outon relationships.
I wouldn't want that any otherway.
I sometimes wish that I hadspent time on my own before we
got married, so like moved outon my own so that I had an
opportunity just to experiencebeing on my own.
My own, so that I had anopportunity just to experience
being on my own because I went,we went from home right into
(25:04):
marriage, not being apart fromyou, just living on my own.
Because of my personality type,I mean, you know I I have a
hard time separating myself fromyou and your needs.
So I sometimes wish I had knownor done better in fighting for
my own independence while we'retogether, if that makes sense at
(25:27):
all it's not a regret at all.
I don't have any regrets aboutour relationship or our path,
but it's now something I'mworking on now which is much
harder to do when you're 50years old is figuring out how do
I become my own person when Idon't even quite know a lot of
who I am.
Or my path went right into youas a young girl and you're a big
(25:54):
, bright, strong personality andI followed that path and I
supported and lifted and dideverything I could for you, and
in that and also being a mom andin that, I lost a lot of me, or
I never knew.
That's what I really think.
I never figured out who shefully was.
Yeah, so that's what I'm tryingto do now, but I don't feel
(26:17):
like there's any ever was a timethat I didn't, that I wished I
had had more opportunities withother people.
That's never been a wish ofmine.
Yeah, our path has beenincredible and that's just been
my journey and now I'm on it,you know, in a discovery mode
now, which is great in yourfifties too.
So there's no regrets.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
We've had a beautiful , beautiful love story.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Incredible love story .
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yeah, I think it's like.
I mean one they make moviesabout.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
It's like when they do podcast on special.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
And yeah.
Yeah, although when I put out,are you to like my followers?
Are you high school sweetheartstoo, man?
Yeah, a lot of people have ourstory, so we're not that unique
well and in here, okay.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
So here's the other thing in your family.
It is absolutely mind-boggling.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Your sister married her high school sweetheart yes,
they had a different path thanus, but yeah, true, your brother
married his high schoolsweetheart, yes, and your other
brother?
Or they knew each other in highschool, but they they weren't
together then yeah and yourother sister yeah, they had a
(27:35):
very interesting path of many,many years, but then came back
to each other.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
So I guess all of us wound up with people that we
knew or dated in high school.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, that's funny, not my parents, but yeah.
Not your parents.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
That is funny.
There was many, many timeswhere we thought happy ever
after is not a part of our story.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
And we kept fighting.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Kept fighting, and fighting I mean in the good way,
fighting for each other.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
I know you talk about this a lot and you've said
we've said this a lot throughdifferent episodes that is, we
change, we evolve.
We're not the same people wewere when we were 11, 12, 13, 14
, 15.
Sure, or 23, when we gotmarried, or even three years ago
.
We are continuously changing.
So that, to me, is the mostremarkable part of our story is
(28:30):
that we are continuouslyevolving and changing with each
other.
I just want to say, if anybodyknows where Shauna is, I yes,
her name was Shauna Alvarado.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
We went to Townsend Junior High in Chino Hills,
california, and that would havebeen.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Yeah, I think it was 86.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
It would have been like 1986, I believe.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
I don't remember at all what happened to Shauna.
I don't remember us even havinglike this really long
relationship, even in seventhgrade.
I feel like maybe she movedaway.
I don't know what happened.
I feel like she was just in ourlife for this very short period
of time, and then I have nomemory of her after that.
(29:14):
So I think she moved away and,if anybody knows, I've always,
always, always I've looked ather up on Facebook, I've tried
to figure out how to find her,yeah, but I would sure like to
thank her.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Oh, we both like to thank her.
We owe her a wow, so much.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
So thank you, Shauna.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Thank you, Shauna.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
When we were 11 years old.
What a lucky day that was.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, thank you, baby .
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I years old.
What a lucky day that was.
Yeah, thank you, baby.
Thank you, I love you so much.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
I love you more than anything, kosh, and that's that,
there's our story.
Thank you for listening.
If you want to share your storywith us, your love story, we
would love to hear that too.
You can email us at marriedinthe letter N naked at gmailcom,
and we'll talk to you next timeon the Married and Naked podcast
.
Bye, everybody.
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