187. Navigating Emotions: A Guide for Moms Raising Boys with Heidi Allsop

When I first began my own motherhood journey, surviving each day seemed to be the goal.  Can you relate? As women, the degree to which we can feel spread thin and overwhelmed by the emotional overload of becoming a mom can seem unbearable. And yet, I’ve come to learn that while “survival” mode can serve us from time to time, ultimately leaning into thriving is not only possible, but an incredible opportunity to expand our ability to impact our kids. 

I love supporting women in my work and have a special place in my heart for motherhood. This began early in my career when I wrote, The Happy Mom Mindset, and today I’m excited to share about a conversation I had with one of my very own Master Coach training clients, Heidi Allsop, on her podcast Raising Boys, Building Men. Heidi is a mom of five boys, and her podcast provides incredible insight into the challenges (and joys) of parenting, specifically when it comes to raising boys. I'm thrilled to rebroadcast this podcast episode and share some of the tools we discussed in this blog. 

Personally, I'm a mom to three amazing kids–two young adult boys and a teenage girl. Not only have I coached many women through their parenting challenges, but I have experienced my own firsthand. I know what it's like to navigate boys and their teenage years and all the emotions that come with it. Because of my holistic approach to coaching, I also know how vital understanding emotions is–in general for all of us, but especially when it comes to being there for our kids. 

So today, we are diving into all things emotions and teenage boys–a subject that touches many moms in a unique way. Every mom experiences her teenage son differently, so when we talk about teenage boys and their emotions, this can mean a few different things. Sometimes, it's big, loud emotions that present themselves in angry outbursts–an easy emotion for teenage boys to express. On the opposite end of the spectrum are boys with a lot of emotions coming up, but they stay silent and we don't know what they're thinking. The variety and unpredictability of emotions can make navigating raising boys–or any child–as a mom so difficult. So what do we do? How do we help them learn and navigate those emotions so they can keep developing through the years and become great people? After reading this blog, you'll take away strategies to help you.

Whether you're a mom or not–and whether you have boys or not– this conversation will give you incredible insights into our emotional world as human beings–something that every coach needs to be aware of.

Why emotional regulation is essential for moms

As moms, we often have the idea that we must gauge the emotions of the people around us: Where are we today? Are we up? Are we down? We believe there's a certain thing that we should do depending on what mood our kids are in. We end up focusing so much on trying to be a detective about something happening outside of us, and it's not a useful way to direct our time and energy–it's anxiety-producing, and it's not the answer or the solution. 

A better question to ask ourselves is, where am I today? When you wake up in the morning, take the time to say, what's my temperature? How am I doing? It is essential to pay attention to how we feel and ensure we're attending to our needs. Creating practices for better emotional regulation for ourselves is the foundation we need to be there for our kids no matter what mood they're in.