188. Moving Clients Through Deep Emotional Resistance with Master Coach Sondra Sperry

Some of the most impactful moments in coaching occur when a client bumps up against resistance. Have you noticed this too?!... It can often seem like more of a barrier when our clients experience emotional resistance. However, highly skilled coaches (like my Master Coach client Sondra who you’ll hear from in this week’s podcast) know that resistance is actually a sign that transformation is near.  As Master-level coaches, we can use this as a tool to help our clients move forward in the most powerful way. When we recognize it with curiosity and compassion, resistance becomes a powerful ally in the healing process. 

Not only is understanding emotional resistance important for our clients, but it’s essential for us as coaches as well. In order to lead with great service and cultivate lasting change in our clients, we need to overcome the barrier of self-judgment and truly be open to a holistic approach to coaching–the importance of which becomes so much more clear when we have experienced it ourselves. 

In this blog (and this week’s podcast episode), we’ll explore how emotional resistance offers valuable insight, and how creating a safe, welcoming space allows clients to move through it with confidence and clarity. When we can master the art of navigating deep resistance we create client breakthroughs that make an impact on their lives.

Effective emotional work begins with you as a coach

From creating an effective plan of action to offering tools clients can use in daily life, there is one thing that is crucial for growth: a holistic view that not only uses mindset, but the nervous system and emotions as well. All three are essential, but here we’ll focus on the deep emotional work that so many clients need in order to thrive.

When we support clients in their emotional journey, one of the most powerful things we can do is meet them exactly where they are. As most highly skilled coaches already know, this isn't about changing their emotions–that attitude will most likely be met with more resistance. We must show up for our clients with acceptance so they can recognize they are in a safe place to truly feel their emotions.

Often clients are conflicted and struggling with judgment of themselves when they come to us. When you, as their coach, demonstrate genuine acceptance—free from expectations or opinions about how they “should” be—they begin to trust that it’s okay to show up exactly as they are. They can then let go of some of their self-judgment and start recognizing the deep work that needs to happen.

Creating a safe, non-judgmental space is crucial to helping our clients move through emotional resistance. But in order to do this, we have to build that capacity within ourselves first. In Master Coach training, there are many skills and concepts that we spend time on to help us be better coaches: we learn about the nervous system, we work on tapping, and we're always talking about how we use cognitive coaching language to create safety and remove judgment. Developing these skills through knowledge is an amazing way to help your clients, but so much of the compassion we have for them comes from having done our own emotional work.

How skilled coaches build trust in themselves

One of the skills we cultivate in Master Coach training–and that I think is imperative for every human being, especially coaches–is to build the self-trust required to...