The Validation Trap and How to Get Out of It

Seeking validation from clients can sabotage your coaching. It puts you in an up and down cycle of highs and lows and can affect your coaching. How can we identify this validation trap and thus avoid it? How can we keep our coaching free from needing personal validation and remain focused on our clients?

Before we tackle this subject, it’s important to acknowledge that wanting validation is completely normal. As coaches, we naturally tend to seek validation because we need to know we’re truly helping others. It’s part of our helper personalities. It’s only when validation becomes too self-focused that we want to avoid. So don’t judge yourself too harshly.

What You’ll Learn

• How to Recognize the Trap of Validation
• The client is in a pleaser role
• You’re hyper-focused on yourself
• The safe, sacred space for the client is interrupted
• A positive response, rather than what is actually best for the client, is sought
• Honesty from the client is inhibited
• Empowerment is not supported

How to Identify When You’re Falling Into the Trap of Validation

• Asking if something is helpful
• Getting overly lit up from praise
• Feeling unsettled when the focus isn’t on you
• Seeking validation that’s unnecessary

How to Avoid the Trap of Validation

• Never take credit
• Hold space for curiosity regarding success
• Define your success, separate from your clients
• Stay in your space, give your client theirs

Contact Info and Recommended Resources

The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com/

Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching