August 18, 2025 • 24 mins
Pastor Heather Mandala shares how the mental health tool HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) aligns perfectly with scripture, demonstrating that God has always known what we would need and desires to care for us every step of the way.
Watch the entire sermon here: https://boxcast.tv/view/hope-online-worship-1030-jcctbqog64fojjco1ysj?_gl=1*6lxgps*_gcl_au*MjgxNDEwMzIuMTc0ODUyNjM5My4zMTEwODQ2MDEuMTc1NTA5NzI2Mi4xNzU1MDk3Mjgx*_ga*MzQwNDEzMzQwLjE3NDg1MjYzOTI.*_ga_PXBBF7HVWQ*czE3NTUwOTcyNTAkbzI3JGcxJHQxNzU1MDk3MjgwJGozMCRsMCRoMA..
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Meet Hope podcast, where we have
conversations about faith andhope.
Hope is one church made ofpeople living out their faith
through two expressions inperson and online.
We believe a hybrid faithexperience can lead to a growing
influence in our community andour world for the sake of others
.
Welcome to Hope.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hi everyone, welcome to the Meet Hope podcast.
My name is Ashley Black.
I'm excited to be here with youtoday, and I'm here today with
Pastor Heather Mandela.
Hey, heather.
Hey everybody, how are youDoing?
Good, I just got back fromvacation, so I'm just jumping
back into things.
I know you were away also.
You want to tell us a littlebit about where you were.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Sure, yeah, I was in Indiana because I am completing
my master's in clinical mentalhealth counseling, and so one of
the requirements is a week oncampus every year, and so this
was my last one, which is veryexciting.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Congratulations.
So it means I'm closing in onthe finish line.
I know we as a staff added yourgraduation date to our calendar
.
Well, you mentioned it in staffmeetings, so I added it at
least, but you know.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
No, it's very exciting and so it was really an
intensive.
It was a week intensive.
We basically are on campus for10 to 12 hours a day and it's
talking about the really hardstuff, right, it's talking about
trauma, it's talking abouthelping people who are suicidal,
(01:32):
it's talking about what itmeans to be present and things
like that.
So it was an intense week, butit was a really really good week
.
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I'm glad you had a week and it was well-timed,
because then you came back andtalked a little bit about mental
health Right In our series.
That's what we're going to talkabout today.
So this past Sunday youpreached on the movie Inside Out
2 as part of our At the Movieseries.
I love this series, so much.
(02:15):
It just makes me so happy to getto watch some movies on Sunday
as part of the Sunday series.
So in your sermon, when youtaught, you had a particular
tool that you used and that youtaught everyone and you took the
tool.
It's a mental health tool andyou translated it to go along
with our faith life andscripture.
And I thought that was such agreat way to use a tool from
another field of study.
(02:36):
I guess you could say and applyit to our faith.
That's like one of my favoritethings to do with, like art and
writing and with mental healthand with but you can do it with
science and we do it withtechnology, we do with all kinds
of things.
So I thought it was a reallygreat thing, and I had a lot of
people after service tell me hey, that part was really great.
(02:57):
You should put that on socialmedia, which we will be doing.
But it led me to ask you like,hey, can we record just that
part and have it live absolutely?
Speaker 3 (03:05):
in our feed.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
So anybody that might be interested in like just
remembering it can have it,especially because when we
sometimes hear a helpful hint ora tool, if we don't need it in
the moment it can be like oh,that's really cool, I want to
remember that, but then when wedo need it, yep, you're like,
where did it's washed away inthe busyness of life, right?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
We can maybe come up with one of the letters or
something but that's it.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, so the tool you use for mental health is called
HALT, right?
Speaker 3 (03:34):
H-A-L-T.
Yep.
The HALT method was actuallydeveloped by Dr David Stream.
He is a psychiatrist andspecifically an addiction
specialist, so it is one ofthose techniques that we can use
when we start to feeldysregulated, which is really
just a fancy way of saying hey,my emotions are talking louder
(03:59):
than my brain, right, like I'mreacting.
I'm not actually processing orthinking through things, I am
just reacting.
So when we start to feel thoseemotions take over.
These are some things that wecan do to slow that down.
Deeper and deeper into study,for counseling is that God knew
what we were going to need,right?
(04:20):
Yeah, so so much of what wehear out in the culture, and I
feel like there's a lot ofChristians who are afraid to go
to counseling because they feellike it's just modern day mumbo
jumbo, right, and I should onlyhave to listen to what God has
to say, and so for me, it'sreally important to help people
(04:42):
understand that this is areimagining, but all of it, the
framework of it, is all in theBible.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure thatsecular counselors don't want to
hear that, right, like, orpeople who aren't walking in
faith don't want to hear that.
But the reality is, thesetechniques we teach, these
understandings of the way ourbrain works, these
(05:04):
understandings of oursubconscious, all of it it's in
scripture.
It's in scripture.
He knew what we were going toneed, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
No, I love that.
I know it's a phrase I've beenhearing you say more and more as
you've gone deeper into yourfield of study and I think it's
so important to remember thatyou know scripture is.
We often refer to it as like aliving, breathing thing, like it
is meant to be a guide in ourlives today, as well as it was
(05:37):
when it was written, and like weglean and, like you said,
reimagine from differentperspectives than the context in
which it was written, but it,um, it still applies and I love
that it.
You said like god knew that wecould take this tool, and we
could take this tool over here,and this tool over here, and and
(05:59):
marry them, marry them togetherand that one can inform the
other, and I think that's reallyexciting.
So why don't you tell us alittle bit about, tell us what
HALT stands for, when you wouldwant to use it, and then you can
kind of walk through eachletter Sure, the way you did on
Sunday?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Sure, great Sounds good, yeah.
So HALT is something that I useor would use or encourage
others to use.
I use or would use or encourageothers to use.
Um, when, again, you're youfeel like your emotions are
starting to impair your judgment, starting to impair your
ability to um, speak in love, tobe kind to, or, or you're
isolating because you'reterrified of everything, like
(06:38):
whatever it is, your emotionsare starting to take over and so
when those emotions start toscream loudly, it's a technique
we can use and it's really justabout asking ourselves questions
, right?
So the first question H is am Ihungry?
Right so hungry?
Is that first word?
A am I angry?
L am I lonely?
(06:59):
And T am I tired?
So hungry, angry, lonely andtired?
Those are the keys there.
As we start to break them downa little bit, we can look at
like what hungry means, right,so hungry?
It really does literally meanam I hungry, right?
So you know?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I which?
How often is it that I'm hungryor like might need a drink of
water?
Which?
How often is it that I'm hungryor like might need a drink of
water?
Yes, I'm dehydrated.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, and honestly I could go on that riff for ages
and I won't right now.
But yeah, so much of thedysregulation and the
dysautonomia that we have isbecause we aren't caring for our
bodies the way they're supposedto be cared for, right, but
that's a whole, nother podcast.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
So stick it here.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
You know, we all and I joke about the Snickers
commercials with Betty White andthe being hangry, right, but
it's legit, right.
It impacts our physical beingand we physically can feel angry
, exhausted, all of those things, when we are hungry and we're
not checking in with ourselves.
But spiritually there's ahunger as well, and so the
scripture that I love isProverbs 27, 7.
(08:07):
One who is full loathes honey,but to one who is hungry,
everything bitter is sweet.
So, again, it's this idea ofwhen we are hungering whether it
is, you know, they joke aboutnot going to the grocery store
hungry, right, like so, becauseyou just buy everything under
the sun, yeah, yeah yeah, thisis the same kind of thing Like
(08:31):
when we go into relationshipshungry because we have not had
our need to be seen or heard orloved, met either from our
parents orother places in our lives.
When we are looking for theoutside to fill us rather than
looking to God to tell us thatwe are enough, we get hungry,
(08:53):
and that hunger can cause us tomake really poor decisions, to
accept things in our lives thatwe typically wouldn't accept, to
pursue, things that wetypically wouldn't pursue.
And it is because we arespiritually hungry.
So it is a stop and look.
(09:14):
Am I acting this way because Ihave an unmet need?
Right, I am not feeling loved.
Okay, so how then?
What do I need to do with that?
And start to unpack that andrecognize that making a decision
out of that place is probablynot going to allow you to hear
God's best for you, and so ourgoal, of course, is to settle it
enough that we can listen.
(09:35):
Okay, how would God have merespond to this right now?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
How would God?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
lead me.
What would his purpose for mein this be?
I love that.
What would his purpose for mein this be?
I love that, yeah.
So the next one is angry.
And this is if you've beenaround Christian circles for any
period of time, I am sure youhave heard this again and again,
but it's Ephesians 4, 26 to 27.
In your anger, do not sin.
Do not let the sun go downwhile you're still angry and do
(10:03):
not give the devil a foothold.
Anger by itself is not a sin.
Yeah, say that five more times.
Right, anger is not a sin.
Anger is not a sin, hear me.
Anger is not a sin, but what wedo with it is where it gets
tricky, right?
Yeah, anger can drive us tofight against injustice.
(10:27):
It can drive us to right wrongs.
It can ultimately drive us torepair relationships that have
been ruptured.
Right, because we don't want tosit in the unresolved.
We want to have closure and tobuild this relationship to make
it better, right?
So anger can be a good thing,but unresolved anger is
(10:49):
dangerous, because what happensis we sit in it and we stew on
it, and it can ultimately end upwith us belittling others or
using hurtful words or engagingin reckless behaviors or just
allowing that deep root ofbitterness to sit in our hearts
(11:11):
and um, and really, ultimately,that isolates us and it drives
us away from community.
Um, which is the exact oppositeof what we were created for.
So um, proverbs 29, 11, justkind of adds to this in a way I
love.
Right so, fools give full ventto their rage, but the wise
(11:33):
bring calm in the end.
Right so wisdom.
Wisdom allows us to process ouranger in a way that is going to
lead to godly results.
It's going to lead to fightingfor justice.
It's going to lead toreparations in relationships.
It's going to lead to fightingfor justice.
It's going to lead toreparations in relationships.
It's going to lead to ahealthier existence in community
(11:53):
.
It's not going to serve as anisolation.
It's not going to drive us frompeople.
Right so, recognizing if I'mangry, why am I angry?
Because it's probably notwhatever you just got angry
about.
Honestly, no.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I had heard someone once say that anger can be an
arrow.
It can like point us directlyto what we really care about,
and sometimes it's identifyinglike I'm angry because I really
care about that person, or Ireally care about that issue and
I don't know what to do aboutit, and so now I'm just angry,
yeah, yeah, and, and, and.
(12:27):
So it can.
It can be a a helpful thing topoint us towards how we're wired
.
But, like you said, then wehave to like bring in other
things to help us.
We have to become wise and moveit forward.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yes, we have to become wise enough to know who
we need to ask, what we need todo to allow the emotion not to
take over Right, and to allowthe emotion not to take over
right and to allow us to be ableto process that anger and use
it in a healthy way.
Yeah for sure.
The next one is L lonely.
Psalm 68, 6 says that God setthe lonely in families he leads
(13:04):
out the prisoners with.
To me, this just speaks of theneed for community.
Right, god sets the lonely infamilies, and this doesn't mean
it looks like the nuclear family.
It doesn't mean that it is aspouse.
It doesn't mean that there is apre-described way of what that
(13:26):
family should look like.
It means that he places us incommunity.
He places us among other peoplewho care for us and whom we
care for.
God continues to use others inour lives.
Just like all throughouthistory, god used others in the
lives of those we see inscripture.
(13:47):
Right, moses did not lead theIsraelites alone.
Joshua did not lead them intothe promised land alone.
Nehemiah, he had a whole bunchof people around him when he
rebuilt that wall.
Paul was ministered to byAnanias.
Jesus led us to the fullness ofGod's redemption and yet
(14:13):
somehow we still get stuckthinking that we should be able
to muscle through, should beable to just do this on our own,
should be able to figure it outourselves, that we shouldn't
need others.
And yet, time and time and timeand time again, nowhere does
scripture say do this on yourown right.
Mary finds out that she iscarrying God's son, jesus, and
(14:35):
she goes to live with her cousinElizabeth.
We don't do life alone.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, I mean just when you were talking about
Jesus.
Like I, I always am kind ofhumbled or brought back down
when I'm reminded or when I lookat scripture and I'm reminded,
like Jesus, the time he spent alot of it was intentionally with
, like the disciples and hewasn't just like charging ahead
(15:02):
by himself with an agenda to getas much done Like he had he
pulled not that he pulled back,but he took time to do things
with those around him and likeencourage them to know how to do
things.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
He understood the importance of relationship right
.
And the fact that these peoplewere only going to learn through
relationship.
Yeah, right, and so it's notabout getting our point or
agenda across, it's about comingtogether in community and
walking together.
So, again, that loneliness,right?
That being, are we in community?
(15:39):
And then the second section ofthat is he leads out the
prisoners with singing.
And this word prisoners it'sasir, which literally translate
to bound, or bound by chains,and I love this because we are.
How many of us have been boundby our emotions, right?
(16:02):
How many of us have felt tieddown by the sadness, the grief,
the anger, the despair, thoseemotions that have kept us
wrapped up Embarrassment, shame,right have kept us from moving
forward in our lives and in ourwalk with God.
And I can't miss the fact therethat he leads us in singing,
(16:23):
right, god leads us out withsinging, and to me, this just
speaks of the importance ofworship.
So the question isn't whatworship music do you like?
I mean, it might be if Godspeaks to you through music, but
the reality is this is how doyou experience God best, right?
If you find him in nature, thenget out in nature.
(16:45):
If you find him in music, thenlisten to music.
If you find him in prayer, thenpray.
If you find him with others,then get with others Again.
It's learning how you experienceGod and allowing you to immerse
yourself in that, to bring usout of our bondage, to lead us
through those hard times.
(17:05):
And sure, when we're not doingthese things, those hard times,
and sure, when we're not doingthese things, we are living in a
sun-scorched land.
We've been there, right, I knowI've been there.
You know where I'm trying to dothings on my own and I am not
doing what I should be doing,what I know God has told me to
do, like be in community and askthose to be around me and all
that kind of good stuff, whenI'm just like I've got this, I'm
(17:30):
going to white knuckle this.
It's exhausting, it's lonely,it's isolating and it really
does feel like you are draggingyourself through a sun scorched
land Right, and that iscertainly not God's best for us.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
And so what's then?
What's the T, the?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
T, the T is tired, the T is tired.
So Matthew 11, 28,.
Come to me all ye who are weary.
Look at that.
I can't even say it without ye.
I'm reminded.
Let's try that again.
New English yeah, Tired, yes,tired.
(18:00):
Matthew 11, 28 to 30, come tome all of you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give yourest.
I love this, because I don'tknow anybody who isn't weary or
burdened.
This because I don't knowanybody who isn't weary or
burdened.
Right, and this idea of like wetry to carry the weight of the
world on our shoulders and Jesusis saying like that's that's
(18:23):
not our job Right Come to methat's, that's not, that's my
job.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
You just need to be with me.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Yeah and um and it's also a physical reminder that,
hey, maybe you just need a nap.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Like like, maybe right, but part of that also
comes with like then acceptingour human limits.
Yes, like going back to thewhole, like you don't need to do
it on your own.
You also can't, yeah, and sowhen you get on board that, like
, as a human, you're gonna betired, tired a lot, and so you
can't do it, all you cannot, andsometimes the best decision
because I don't know about you.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I am not particularly rational.
My family always had a rule.
Like my husband and my kids,they always knew we cannot have
hard discussions or difficultdiscussions late at night
because they're just notfruitful.
You know, they're just notfruitful.
And we learned that we were allbetter if we got a good night's
rest and then could approach itas a team in the morning and
(19:16):
everything looks a little bitbetter in the light of day.
Which leads me to theLamentations 3, 22, 23.
Because of the Lord's greatlove, we are not consumed, For
his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning.
Great is your faithfulness andthat idea of like, and we get to
(19:37):
start over in the morning witha good night's rest and a new
perspective, and often that canhelp us regulate ourselves, our
emotions, in a way that allowsus to hear what God is speaking
to us, in a way that allows usto feel God's presence as we
approach hard things.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I love that.
I'm a big fan of Lamentations.
I recently had, a little bitfurther in that scripture,
lamentations 3.29.
I had it on my.
I have a chalkboard wall in myoffice, if anyone's ever visited
.
And I often write prayers orquotes or scripture, that is,
feel like God is sayingsomething there and I leave it
(20:20):
up for a while to think about it.
And for a long time because Iwas feeling very tired I came.
I often turned to Lamentationsin my exhaustion and further in
Lamentations 3, I think it'slike 329, it ends with it says
and there may yet still be hope,and for me that was always like
(20:42):
a rejuvenating line.
It was almost for me.
I had it on my chalkboardbecause it reminded me that,
like, even on the days where Imay be feeling really tired and
maybe not feeling like, hope issomething I'm able to bring
forward that.
God still is and in like theexpansiveness of time that God
(21:05):
does not exist, in that likehope is always moving itself
forward regardless of myexhaustion when I am at that
moment.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yeah, I love that and also, again, I think, really a
cry to community right, Becausewe all have those seasons and
that's when God can use thepeople around you to show you
hope, right To be your hope toknow that God is still working
and moving, and to point outthose places when we feel like
we can't find them ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, so, so, yeah, so,halt, are you hungry, are you
(21:37):
angry, are you lonely and areyou tired?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I love that um, so I use someone who is a spiritual
director that I talk to um, andoften the question she asks is
what is the invitation from god?
right now and says I love thesewords because it's almost like
when you know you mean, you getback to you, got you get back to
you, got you get back to justtalking about noticing your body
which, like you said, we couldhave a whole other podcast on
but really, like, these arephysical.
Some of them are physical, someof them are emotional, like
(22:10):
flags that if you um notice them, it's like, well, maybe what is
, maybe your hunger is becauseGod is inviting you to be filled
, or maybe your hunger isbecause God is inviting you to
be filled.
Or maybe your loneliness is Godis inviting you towards
somebody else.
Or, you know, maybe it's youranger.
Is that God is inviting you tofigure out?
Why do you care so much?
(22:30):
You know, or you know yourexhaustion?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
is God inviting you to just rest and while HALT is
not a fix-all right.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
No, no tool is.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
You don't work this tool and then all of a sudden,
your problems are gone.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
No, this is a lifelong process, right, and I
do want to end with that.
There are seasons where it maynot matter how much we feel like
we are doing, we cannot do itwithout help.
There are things in our livesthat there are times we cannot
muscle through.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
And so we have got to reach out.
We've got to reach out to ourcommunity, we've got to reach
out to mental healthprofessionals.
We need to reach out to ourdoctors.
There are things God hasprovided, resources through
people in our lives and we needto not be afraid to use them.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yes, I love all of that.
I think that's a great place toend Well.
Thank you, heather, for runningthrough HALT with us Absolutely
, and for sharing it with uslast Sunday.
And if anyone is looking to seeyour whole message, it is on
our On Demand page atmeethopeorg slash On Demand and
on our YouTube.
(23:36):
Is there anything else you'dwant to?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
share.
No, I think the biggest thingis just know that you don't have
to walk this alone.
You don't, no matter how hardit is, no matter how wonderful
it is.
You don't have to walk lifealone.
Yeah, great.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Awesome.
Well, thank you, Heather, andthank you for listening today.
If you love this podcast, weencourage you to share it with a
friend.
You can find all of our podcastepisodes at meethopeorg slash
podcast or in your favoritepodcast app.
And so until next time.
We will see you then.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Thanks for being a part of the Hope Community as we
continue our conversationsabout faith and hope.
If you don't already, pleasejoin us for worship on Sundays
or on demand.
You can learn more atmeethopeorg or find us on
socials at Meet Hope Church.
Welcome to the Meet Hope podcast, where we have
conversations about faith andhope.
Hope is one church made ofpeople living out their faith
through two expressions inperson and online.
We believe a hybrid faithexperience can lead to a growing
influence in our community andour world for the sake of others
.
Welcome to Hope.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hi everyone, welcome to the Meet Hope podcast.
My name is Ashley Black.
I'm excited to be here with youtoday, and I'm here today with
Pastor Heather Mandela.
Hey, heather.
Hey everybody, how are youDoing?
Good, I just got back fromvacation, so I'm just jumping
back into things.
I know you were away also.
You want to tell us a littlebit about where you were.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Sure, yeah, I was in Indiana because I am completing
my master's in clinical mentalhealth counseling, and so one of
the requirements is a week oncampus every year, and so this
was my last one, which is veryexciting.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Congratulations.
So it means I'm closing in onthe finish line.
I know we as a staff added yourgraduation date to our calendar
.
Well, you mentioned it in staffmeetings, so I added it at
least, but you know.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
No, it's very exciting and so it was really an
intensive.
It was a week intensive.
We basically are on campus for10 to 12 hours a day and it's
talking about the really hardstuff, right, it's talking about
trauma, it's talking abouthelping people who are suicidal,
(01:32):
it's talking about what itmeans to be present and things
like that.
So it was an intense week, butit was a really really good week
.
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I'm glad you had a week and it was well-timed,
because then you came back andtalked a little bit about mental
health Right In our series.
That's what we're going to talkabout today.
So this past Sunday youpreached on the movie Inside Out
2 as part of our At the Movieseries.
I love this series, so much.
(02:15):
It just makes me so happy to getto watch some movies on Sunday
as part of the Sunday series.
So in your sermon, when youtaught, you had a particular
tool that you used and that youtaught everyone and you took the
tool.
It's a mental health tool andyou translated it to go along
with our faith life andscripture.
And I thought that was such agreat way to use a tool from
another field of study.
(02:36):
I guess you could say and applyit to our faith.
That's like one of my favoritethings to do with, like art and
writing and with mental healthand with but you can do it with
science and we do it withtechnology, we do with all kinds
of things.
So I thought it was a reallygreat thing, and I had a lot of
people after service tell me hey, that part was really great.
(02:57):
You should put that on socialmedia, which we will be doing.
But it led me to ask you like,hey, can we record just that
part and have it live absolutely?
Speaker 3 (03:05):
in our feed.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
So anybody that might be interested in like just
remembering it can have it,especially because when we
sometimes hear a helpful hint ora tool, if we don't need it in
the moment it can be like oh,that's really cool, I want to
remember that, but then when wedo need it, yep, you're like,
where did it's washed away inthe busyness of life, right?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
We can maybe come up with one of the letters or
something but that's it.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, so the tool you use for mental health is called
HALT, right?
Speaker 3 (03:34):
H-A-L-T.
Yep.
The HALT method was actuallydeveloped by Dr David Stream.
He is a psychiatrist andspecifically an addiction
specialist, so it is one ofthose techniques that we can use
when we start to feeldysregulated, which is really
just a fancy way of saying hey,my emotions are talking louder
(03:59):
than my brain, right, like I'mreacting.
I'm not actually processing orthinking through things, I am
just reacting.
So when we start to feel thoseemotions take over.
These are some things that wecan do to slow that down.
Deeper and deeper into study,for counseling is that God knew
what we were going to need,right?
(04:20):
Yeah, so so much of what wehear out in the culture, and I
feel like there's a lot ofChristians who are afraid to go
to counseling because they feellike it's just modern day mumbo
jumbo, right, and I should onlyhave to listen to what God has
to say, and so for me, it'sreally important to help people
(04:42):
understand that this is areimagining, but all of it, the
framework of it, is all in theBible.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure thatsecular counselors don't want to
hear that, right, like, orpeople who aren't walking in
faith don't want to hear that.
But the reality is, thesetechniques we teach, these
understandings of the way ourbrain works, these
(05:04):
understandings of oursubconscious, all of it it's in
scripture.
It's in scripture.
He knew what we were going toneed, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
No, I love that.
I know it's a phrase I've beenhearing you say more and more as
you've gone deeper into yourfield of study and I think it's
so important to remember thatyou know scripture is.
We often refer to it as like aliving, breathing thing, like it
is meant to be a guide in ourlives today, as well as it was
(05:37):
when it was written, and like weglean and, like you said,
reimagine from differentperspectives than the context in
which it was written, but it,um, it still applies and I love
that it.
You said like god knew that wecould take this tool, and we
could take this tool over here,and this tool over here, and and
(05:59):
marry them, marry them togetherand that one can inform the
other, and I think that's reallyexciting.
So why don't you tell us alittle bit about, tell us what
HALT stands for, when you wouldwant to use it, and then you can
kind of walk through eachletter Sure, the way you did on
Sunday?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Sure, great Sounds good, yeah.
So HALT is something that I useor would use or encourage
others to use.
I use or would use or encourageothers to use.
Um, when, again, you're youfeel like your emotions are
starting to impair your judgment, starting to impair your
ability to um, speak in love, tobe kind to, or, or you're
isolating because you'reterrified of everything, like
(06:38):
whatever it is, your emotionsare starting to take over and so
when those emotions start toscream loudly, it's a technique
we can use and it's really justabout asking ourselves questions
, right?
So the first question H is am Ihungry?
Right so hungry?
Is that first word?
A am I angry?
L am I lonely?
(06:59):
And T am I tired?
So hungry, angry, lonely andtired?
Those are the keys there.
As we start to break them downa little bit, we can look at
like what hungry means, right,so hungry?
It really does literally meanam I hungry, right?
So you know?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I which?
How often is it that I'm hungryor like might need a drink of
water?
Which?
How often is it that I'm hungryor like might need a drink of
water?
Yes, I'm dehydrated.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, and honestly I could go on that riff for ages
and I won't right now.
But yeah, so much of thedysregulation and the
dysautonomia that we have isbecause we aren't caring for our
bodies the way they're supposedto be cared for, right, but
that's a whole, nother podcast.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
So stick it here.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
You know, we all and I joke about the Snickers
commercials with Betty White andthe being hangry, right, but
it's legit, right.
It impacts our physical beingand we physically can feel angry
, exhausted, all of those things, when we are hungry and we're
not checking in with ourselves.
But spiritually there's ahunger as well, and so the
scripture that I love isProverbs 27, 7.
(08:07):
One who is full loathes honey,but to one who is hungry,
everything bitter is sweet.
So, again, it's this idea ofwhen we are hungering whether it
is, you know, they joke aboutnot going to the grocery store
hungry, right, like so, becauseyou just buy everything under
the sun, yeah, yeah yeah, thisis the same kind of thing Like
(08:31):
when we go into relationshipshungry because we have not had
our need to be seen or heard orloved, met either from our
parents orother places in our lives.
When we are looking for theoutside to fill us rather than
looking to God to tell us thatwe are enough, we get hungry,
(08:53):
and that hunger can cause us tomake really poor decisions, to
accept things in our lives thatwe typically wouldn't accept, to
pursue, things that wetypically wouldn't pursue.
And it is because we arespiritually hungry.
So it is a stop and look.
(09:14):
Am I acting this way because Ihave an unmet need?
Right, I am not feeling loved.
Okay, so how then?
What do I need to do with that?
And start to unpack that andrecognize that making a decision
out of that place is probablynot going to allow you to hear
God's best for you, and so ourgoal, of course, is to settle it
enough that we can listen.
(09:35):
Okay, how would God have merespond to this right now?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
How would God?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
lead me.
What would his purpose for mein this be?
I love that.
What would his purpose for mein this be?
I love that, yeah.
So the next one is angry.
And this is if you've beenaround Christian circles for any
period of time, I am sure youhave heard this again and again,
but it's Ephesians 4, 26 to 27.
In your anger, do not sin.
Do not let the sun go downwhile you're still angry and do
(10:03):
not give the devil a foothold.
Anger by itself is not a sin.
Yeah, say that five more times.
Right, anger is not a sin.
Anger is not a sin, hear me.
Anger is not a sin, but what wedo with it is where it gets
tricky, right?
Yeah, anger can drive us tofight against injustice.
(10:27):
It can drive us to right wrongs.
It can ultimately drive us torepair relationships that have
been ruptured.
Right, because we don't want tosit in the unresolved.
We want to have closure and tobuild this relationship to make
it better, right?
So anger can be a good thing,but unresolved anger is
(10:49):
dangerous, because what happensis we sit in it and we stew on
it, and it can ultimately end upwith us belittling others or
using hurtful words or engagingin reckless behaviors or just
allowing that deep root ofbitterness to sit in our hearts
(11:11):
and um, and really, ultimately,that isolates us and it drives
us away from community.
Um, which is the exact oppositeof what we were created for.
So um, proverbs 29, 11, justkind of adds to this in a way I
love.
Right so, fools give full ventto their rage, but the wise
(11:33):
bring calm in the end.
Right so wisdom.
Wisdom allows us to process ouranger in a way that is going to
lead to godly results.
It's going to lead to fightingfor justice.
It's going to lead toreparations in relationships.
It's going to lead to fightingfor justice.
It's going to lead toreparations in relationships.
It's going to lead to ahealthier existence in community
(11:53):
.
It's not going to serve as anisolation.
It's not going to drive us frompeople.
Right so, recognizing if I'mangry, why am I angry?
Because it's probably notwhatever you just got angry
about.
Honestly, no.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I had heard someone once say that anger can be an
arrow.
It can like point us directlyto what we really care about,
and sometimes it's identifyinglike I'm angry because I really
care about that person, or Ireally care about that issue and
I don't know what to do aboutit, and so now I'm just angry,
yeah, yeah, and, and, and.
(12:27):
So it can.
It can be a a helpful thing topoint us towards how we're wired
.
But, like you said, then wehave to like bring in other
things to help us.
We have to become wise and moveit forward.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yes, we have to become wise enough to know who
we need to ask, what we need todo to allow the emotion not to
take over Right, and to allowthe emotion not to take over
right and to allow us to be ableto process that anger and use
it in a healthy way.
Yeah for sure.
The next one is L lonely.
Psalm 68, 6 says that God setthe lonely in families he leads
(13:04):
out the prisoners with.
To me, this just speaks of theneed for community.
Right, god sets the lonely infamilies, and this doesn't mean
it looks like the nuclear family.
It doesn't mean that it is aspouse.
It doesn't mean that there is apre-described way of what that
(13:26):
family should look like.
It means that he places us incommunity.
He places us among other peoplewho care for us and whom we
care for.
God continues to use others inour lives.
Just like all throughouthistory, god used others in the
lives of those we see inscripture.
(13:47):
Right, moses did not lead theIsraelites alone.
Joshua did not lead them intothe promised land alone.
Nehemiah, he had a whole bunchof people around him when he
rebuilt that wall.
Paul was ministered to byAnanias.
Jesus led us to the fullness ofGod's redemption and yet
(14:13):
somehow we still get stuckthinking that we should be able
to muscle through, should beable to just do this on our own,
should be able to figure it outourselves, that we shouldn't
need others.
And yet, time and time and timeand time again, nowhere does
scripture say do this on yourown right.
Mary finds out that she iscarrying God's son, jesus, and
(14:35):
she goes to live with her cousinElizabeth.
We don't do life alone.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, I mean just when you were talking about
Jesus.
Like I, I always am kind ofhumbled or brought back down
when I'm reminded or when I lookat scripture and I'm reminded,
like Jesus, the time he spent alot of it was intentionally with
, like the disciples and hewasn't just like charging ahead
(15:02):
by himself with an agenda to getas much done Like he had he
pulled not that he pulled back,but he took time to do things
with those around him and likeencourage them to know how to do
things.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
He understood the importance of relationship right
.
And the fact that these peoplewere only going to learn through
relationship.
Yeah, right, and so it's notabout getting our point or
agenda across, it's about comingtogether in community and
walking together.
So, again, that loneliness,right?
That being, are we in community?
(15:39):
And then the second section ofthat is he leads out the
prisoners with singing.
And this word prisoners it'sasir, which literally translate
to bound, or bound by chains,and I love this because we are.
How many of us have been boundby our emotions, right?
(16:02):
How many of us have felt tieddown by the sadness, the grief,
the anger, the despair, thoseemotions that have kept us
wrapped up Embarrassment, shame,right have kept us from moving
forward in our lives and in ourwalk with God.
And I can't miss the fact therethat he leads us in singing,
(16:23):
right, god leads us out withsinging, and to me, this just
speaks of the importance ofworship.
So the question isn't whatworship music do you like?
I mean, it might be if Godspeaks to you through music, but
the reality is this is how doyou experience God best, right?
If you find him in nature, thenget out in nature.
(16:45):
If you find him in music, thenlisten to music.
If you find him in prayer, thenpray.
If you find him with others,then get with others Again.
It's learning how you experienceGod and allowing you to immerse
yourself in that, to bring usout of our bondage, to lead us
through those hard times.
(17:05):
And sure, when we're not doingthese things, those hard times,
and sure, when we're not doingthese things, we are living in a
sun-scorched land.
We've been there, right, I knowI've been there.
You know where I'm trying to dothings on my own and I am not
doing what I should be doing,what I know God has told me to
do, like be in community and askthose to be around me and all
that kind of good stuff, whenI'm just like I've got this, I'm
(17:30):
going to white knuckle this.
It's exhausting, it's lonely,it's isolating and it really
does feel like you are draggingyourself through a sun scorched
land Right, and that iscertainly not God's best for us.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
And so what's then?
What's the T, the?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
T, the T is tired, the T is tired.
So Matthew 11, 28,.
Come to me all ye who are weary.
Look at that.
I can't even say it without ye.
I'm reminded.
Let's try that again.
New English yeah, Tired, yes,tired.
(18:00):
Matthew 11, 28 to 30, come tome all of you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give yourest.
I love this, because I don'tknow anybody who isn't weary or
burdened.
This because I don't knowanybody who isn't weary or
burdened.
Right, and this idea of like wetry to carry the weight of the
world on our shoulders and Jesusis saying like that's that's
(18:23):
not our job Right Come to methat's, that's not, that's my
job.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
You just need to be with me.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Yeah and um and it's also a physical reminder that,
hey, maybe you just need a nap.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Like like, maybe right, but part of that also
comes with like then acceptingour human limits.
Yes, like going back to thewhole, like you don't need to do
it on your own.
You also can't, yeah, and sowhen you get on board that, like
, as a human, you're gonna betired, tired a lot, and so you
can't do it, all you cannot, andsometimes the best decision
because I don't know about you.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I am not particularly rational.
My family always had a rule.
Like my husband and my kids,they always knew we cannot have
hard discussions or difficultdiscussions late at night
because they're just notfruitful.
You know, they're just notfruitful.
And we learned that we were allbetter if we got a good night's
rest and then could approach itas a team in the morning and
(19:16):
everything looks a little bitbetter in the light of day.
Which leads me to theLamentations 3, 22, 23.
Because of the Lord's greatlove, we are not consumed, For
his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning.
Great is your faithfulness andthat idea of like, and we get to
(19:37):
start over in the morning witha good night's rest and a new
perspective, and often that canhelp us regulate ourselves, our
emotions, in a way that allowsus to hear what God is speaking
to us, in a way that allows usto feel God's presence as we
approach hard things.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I love that.
I'm a big fan of Lamentations.
I recently had, a little bitfurther in that scripture,
lamentations 3.29.
I had it on my.
I have a chalkboard wall in myoffice, if anyone's ever visited
.
And I often write prayers orquotes or scripture, that is,
feel like God is sayingsomething there and I leave it
(20:20):
up for a while to think about it.
And for a long time because Iwas feeling very tired I came.
I often turned to Lamentationsin my exhaustion and further in
Lamentations 3, I think it'slike 329, it ends with it says
and there may yet still be hope,and for me that was always like
(20:42):
a rejuvenating line.
It was almost for me.
I had it on my chalkboardbecause it reminded me that,
like, even on the days where Imay be feeling really tired and
maybe not feeling like, hope issomething I'm able to bring
forward that.
God still is and in like theexpansiveness of time that God
(21:05):
does not exist, in that likehope is always moving itself
forward regardless of myexhaustion when I am at that
moment.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yeah, I love that and also, again, I think, really a
cry to community right, Becausewe all have those seasons and
that's when God can use thepeople around you to show you
hope, right To be your hope toknow that God is still working
and moving, and to point outthose places when we feel like
we can't find them ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, so, so, yeah, so,halt, are you hungry, are you
(21:37):
angry, are you lonely and areyou tired?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I love that um, so I use someone who is a spiritual
director that I talk to um, andoften the question she asks is
what is the invitation from god?
right now and says I love thesewords because it's almost like
when you know you mean, you getback to you, got you get back to
you, got you get back to justtalking about noticing your body
which, like you said, we couldhave a whole other podcast on
but really, like, these arephysical.
Some of them are physical, someof them are emotional, like
(22:10):
flags that if you um notice them, it's like, well, maybe what is
, maybe your hunger is becauseGod is inviting you to be filled
, or maybe your hunger isbecause God is inviting you to
be filled.
Or maybe your loneliness is Godis inviting you towards
somebody else.
Or, you know, maybe it's youranger.
Is that God is inviting you tofigure out?
Why do you care so much?
(22:30):
You know, or you know yourexhaustion?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
is God inviting you to just rest and while HALT is
not a fix-all right.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
No, no tool is.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
You don't work this tool and then all of a sudden,
your problems are gone.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
No, this is a lifelong process, right, and I
do want to end with that.
There are seasons where it maynot matter how much we feel like
we are doing, we cannot do itwithout help.
There are things in our livesthat there are times we cannot
muscle through.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
And so we have got to reach out.
We've got to reach out to ourcommunity, we've got to reach
out to mental healthprofessionals.
We need to reach out to ourdoctors.
There are things God hasprovided, resources through
people in our lives and we needto not be afraid to use them.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yes, I love all of that.
I think that's a great place toend Well.
Thank you, heather, for runningthrough HALT with us Absolutely
, and for sharing it with uslast Sunday.
And if anyone is looking to seeyour whole message, it is on
our On Demand page atmeethopeorg slash On Demand and
on our YouTube.
(23:36):
Is there anything else you'dwant to?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
share.
No, I think the biggest thingis just know that you don't have
to walk this alone.
You don't, no matter how hardit is, no matter how wonderful
it is.
You don't have to walk lifealone.
Yeah, great.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Awesome.
Well, thank you, Heather, andthank you for listening today.
If you love this podcast, weencourage you to share it with a
friend.
You can find all of our podcastepisodes at meethopeorg slash
podcast or in your favoritepodcast app.
And so until next time.
We will see you then.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Thanks for being a part of the Hope Community as we
continue our conversationsabout faith and hope.
If you don't already, pleasejoin us for worship on Sundays
or on demand.
You can learn more atmeethopeorg or find us on
socials at Meet Hope Church.
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