Are You Ready For Love?

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What does it truly mean to be ready for love? Not the casual swipe-right connections or comfortable situationships, but the real, aligned, soul-nourishing love that sees all of you?

Many of us claim we want authentic love while unconsciously blocking it at every turn. We've survived betrayal, carried generational pain, and worn our strength like armor for so long that vulnerability feels dangerous. Somewhere along the way, we started guarding our hearts with what I call "barbed wire and prayer" – protection mechanisms that keep others at a distance while we silently hope for something better.

The uncomfortable truth I explore in this episode is that love – real, authentic love – cannot thrive in cluttered emotional spaces. Before inviting it in, we must ask ourselves some challenging questions: Do we truly believe we're worthy of the love we desire? Have we forgiven those who hurt us, or are we expecting new partners to pay for old debts? Are we loving ourselves in the ways we want to be loved? These questions cut deep, but they matter profoundly.

As I share in this heart-to-heart conversation, "You don't attract what you want; you attract what you are prepared to receive." If you're manifesting a peaceful, gentle partner while your own spirit remains in chaos, there's important inner work to be done. Through journaling exercises, meditation, therapy, prayer, and community support, we can begin clearing the space needed for authentic love to enter and flourish.

Take this episode as an invitation to get honest with yourself about where you stand on your journey to love-readiness. There's no shame here – just space for truth and transformation. Because love is coming for you, queen. The question is: Will you be healed enough to recognize and receive it when it arrives?

Episode Transcript

Kerry (00:11):
Hello, my beautiful souls , welcome back to the Melanin
Unicorn podcast, the space wherewe talk love, healing,
wholeness and everything inbetween, especially for black
women, walking boldly into theirpower.
I'm your host, keri, and todaywe're asking a very tender but

(00:32):
powerful, powerful question, andthat is are you ready for love?
Are you ready?
Think about that, ponder thatquestion and let it marinate.
So now let's start the episode.
In today's episode, we areasking are you ready for love?

(01:07):
Are you truly ready for love tocome into your life?
Now pause and breathe with me,inhale, hold for four and exhale

(01:32):
.
Now I'm not talking about yourswipe, right?
Love, online dating?
I'm not talking aboutsituationship love.
I'm not even talking about not,I guess he's good enough love.

(01:53):
No, I mean real, aligned,rooted, soul, nourishing love,
the kind that meets you whereyou are and sees all of you, and
I mean really sees all of you.
So are you ready?

(02:41):
Oh for love, but deep down wemight still be guarding our
hearts with barbed wire andprayer.
We've survived betrayal.
We've carried generations ofpain.
Know what I'm speaking on inregards to that, it basically

(03:05):
means pain that has been passeddown from generation to
generation.
You know those families thatyou see that they can never
maintain a relationship, or therelationship looks the same no

(03:27):
matter who the woman is involvedwith.
There is either abuse, cheating, lying, or they just leave.
We've worn our strength likearmor and somewhere along the
way vulnerability became aluxury we could not afford.

(03:55):
So before love can even enter,we've got to ask ourselves have
we cleared space for it?
Because love, real love,doesn't thrive in clutter at all
.
So let me ask you this Do youbelieve you are worthy of the

(04:20):
kind of love you desire?
Have you forgiven the past, orare you still expecting the next
man, the next relationship youenter into, to pay for someone
else's debt?
Are you loving yourself In theway you want to be loved?

(04:45):
Yes, I know these questions cutdeep, but they matter, because
being ready for love isn't justabout having a space in your bed
for some man.
It's about having space in yourheart, your spirit and your

(05:08):
life, those questions that Ijust asked you.
I want you to write thatquestion on each page, so it'll
be three pages, and I want youto answer those questions

(05:31):
honestly to the best of yourability.
Maybe you can only answer onequestion, but that's okay if you
can only answer one.
This is not a right or wrong.
This is not a pop quiz.
This is not an exam.
No, this is for you to get tothe root, to the root of your

(06:01):
pain and your grief.
Journaling starts the healingprocess, but the healing process
can only begin when you aretruthful with yourself.
You can't bluff and lie Well,actually you can, because no one

(06:30):
is going to see what you'vewritten down, but you and God,
and you can lie to yourself, butyou can't lie to God.
So be as honest as you possiblycan and as you go through the
healing, as you begin to gethonest with yourself, then you

(06:55):
can move on to the next question.
And if you can't answer allthree, or you may only be able
to answer one, and halfwaythrough you put your pen down
and say I can't, I cannot writeanymore.
That is okay.
Give yourself grace, giveyourself mercy, show yourself

(07:20):
love.
Okay, I want to share two thingsthat I've heard before.
The first one is you don'tattract what you want, you
attract what you are prepared toreceive.
That hit me hard, because thequestion is are you prepared to

(07:44):
receive the softness when you'velived in survival mode for so
long?
Are you ready to let love lead,not just fix?
Because love isn't alwaysfireworks.
Sometimes it's quiet, sometimesit shows up gently, and

(08:10):
sometimes we don't evenrecognize it because we are
still tuned into chaos.
Now, that being you don'tattract what you want, you
attract what you are prepared toreceive was very eye-opening

(08:34):
for me.
Very eye-opening because itgoes hand in hand with the other
saying that I've heard and thatis like is what you will
attract If your spirit is fullof peace and calmness, that is

(09:03):
what you will attract.
But we have to do aself-examination, because we're
when do we stand on the scale orwhich way are we swinging with

(09:25):
the pendulum?
Are we on the side of peace orare we on the other side of it,
being chaos, being chaos?
So, if you say that you arepraying and desiring and
manifesting, a man who ispeaceful, calm, will give you

(09:51):
the soft light that you aredesiring, who will be that soft
place for you, who will be yourbig spoon To your little spoon,
Then we have work to do.
Because if that's not where youare but that's where you are

(10:14):
desiring to be, then we havework to do Because, honestly,
you're not going to attract thattype of man and if you do meet
that type of man, you will runhim off because your spirit is
not at peace.

(10:36):
So if you have to go to therapy,that's fine, that is great.
I am an advocate for it andJesus.
So I once saw a creator.
He had a sweatshirt on thatsaid Jesus and therapy, and I
wholeheartedly agree.
If that is what you need to do,because you need that healing

(10:59):
in your life, and you know thatthis is something that you
cannot do on your own, thenplease do that.
Okay, please do it.
Do it for yourself before youthink about anything else.
Do it for yourself because youdeserve that.

(11:20):
You deserve that peace, youdeserve that calm, you deserve
that soft life.
You deserve it.
So this week I want you to sitwith this question journal it,
meditate on it.

(11:40):
You can talk with your closestsister, friends, and if you need
to seek therapy, or you mayalready be in therapy, right?
These are questions that youcan speak to your therapist
about.
Pray on it, right, and you needto definitely ask yourself am I

(12:10):
ready for the love I say I wantand, if not, what would make
you ready?
What would make you ready?
What would make you ready?
Is it the things that Imentioned, the journaling, the
meditating, the therapy, prayer,talking with your close sister

(12:31):
friends?
Whatever your answer is, let itbe honest, let it be yours.
There's no shame here, justspace for truth and
transformation.
Because let me tell yousomething Love is coming for you

(12:51):
, queen.
Love is coming, and thequestion is will you be open
enough to let it in?
Will you be open?
And we can only be open if weare healed.
We can only be open if we arehealed.

(13:19):
I want to thank you so much forsharing this heart space with me
today, because this is also anepisode for me as well, that I
have also been journaling andmeditating and praying and
manifesting for myself, for formyself, because I'm not going to
do an episode and talk aboutsomething that I have no

(13:43):
experience with, right.
So, and that would be thatwould be false on my part.
So I want to be truthful withyou as my audience.
You are truthful with me and,especially, you are being

(14:08):
truthful with yourself.
So thank you again for sharingthis heart space with me today
and if this episode resonatedwith you, send it to a friend,
share it on your socials orleave a review.
And if you want to go deeper,start journaling.
Start journaling and and startpreparing yourself for love.

(14:34):
Preparation, isparation is key,but healing is first and
preparation is second, right, oryou can even do it together,
right?
You can be healing andpreparing, healing and preparing
, okay.
So until next time, be softwith yourself, be open and

(14:59):
remember love is not justsomething you find, it's
something you become.
Again, thank you so much.
I'm so grateful that you arehere and I look forward to
connecting with you again forour next episode.
I love you.

(15:21):
Take care and enjoy the rest ofyour day, wherever you are.