Black Women, Make Time For Yourselves

Rest shouldn’t be the last thing on our list. We open with a grounding breath and a bold truth: your wellness and your peace are not optional, and your time is yours to reclaim. From there, we unpack the pressure to measure worth by productivity and replace it with practices that honor body, mind, and spirit. The conversation moves from permission to practicality, offering a gentle path back to joy without guilt.

We explore simple rituals that fit real life: a slow cup of tea or coffee to start the day with presence, ten minutes of silence to reset the nervous system, music that feeds the spirit, and speaking kindly to ourselves out loud. We also talk about boundaries—saying no to what drains you and yes to what restores you—as a loving strategy rather than a personality overhaul. These steps are designed as micro-habits you can repeat, even amid caregiving, work, and community commitments, so care becomes sustainable instead of sporadic.

You’ll hear affirmations that honor softness and strength, reminders that you are allowed to be tired and still worthy, and reflections on joy as a vital metric of a good life. Whether it’s a walk, a nap, a journal session, or brunch with friends, choosing what makes you smile is not frivolous—it’s foundational. If you’ve been waiting for permission, consider this your green light to start small, start now, and keep starting. Subscribe, share this with a sister who needs it, and send us a DM with how you’re making time for yourself—we’d love to hear your ritual and cheer you on.

Send us a text

Episode Transcript

Kerry (00:11):
Hey, hey, hey tribe, and welcome back to the Melanin
Unicorn Podcast, the podcastwhere we as black women are
reclaiming our peace, power, andpresence.
One breath at a time.
I'm your host, Kerry, and todaywe're talking about something

(00:32):
that far too often gets pushedto the bottom of the list.
And that is black women makingtime for themselves.
Now, let me just start withthis.
You are not lazy, you are notselfish, and you are not doing

(00:54):
too much by choosing yourself.
You are a whole human being.
And that means your needs, yourrest, your joy, your stillness,
they all matter.
Let's start the show.

(01:17):
Let's get really, really realfor a moment.
We as black women carry somuch.
We show up for our families,our jobs, our communities, our

(01:45):
friends.
We hold space for everythingand everybody.
We hold it down.
We hold each other.
And yet, somehow, making timefor ourselves feels like a
luxury instead of a necessity.

But here's the truth (02:09):
your wellness, your health, it is not
optional.
Your peace is not negotiable.
And your time is yours toreclaim.
Now take a deep breath with meright now.

(02:32):
Inhale.
Hold for four and release.
That breath that was yours.
That breath, it is mine, and noone can take that from you or

(03:04):
I.
Not today.

(03:57):
To take a nap.
Oh, I love me some naps.
To journal.
Oh journaling is so good for myspirit.
To do nothing or to dosomething that is just for you.

(04:22):
This isn't about checking outof life.
Because that's not what this isabout.
Okay?
It's about checking in withyourself.
Checking in and making surethat you are okay.

(04:44):
Think of this as a gentle callto come back home to your own
body, your own rhythm, your ownjoy.
And listen, I know that makingtime for yourself isn't always

(05:10):
easy.
Because sometimes it's justnot.
Whether you have a family oryou're married, children, you
are a caregiver, I know it's notalways easy.
And especially when the worldtries to tell us to measure our

(05:30):
worth by our productivity.
But every time you pause tocare for your own soul, you are
resisting that bald-faced lie.
You are rewriting the narrativeof your life.

(05:54):
When was the last time you didsomething just because it made

(06:25):
you smile?
Not because it was productive,not because someone needed it,
but because you wanted it.
Okay?
So if it's been a while, that'sokay.
That just means today is abeautiful day to start again.

(06:52):
So think about it.
Is taking a walk is what bringsa smile to your face?
Is it exercising?
Is it reading?
Is it going to the spa for theday?
Is it getting your nails andyour feet done?

(07:16):
Is it going to the doctor foryour checkout?
Is it just maybe being withsome some of your girlfriends,
you know, and and you ladies aredoing brunch or lunch, mimosas,

(07:40):
meeting up to have dinner,going to a lounge, whatever it
is.
Think about when was the lasttime it was something that you
did that brought that smile toyour face.

(08:03):
Even in the smallest moments.
So number one, you can startyour day with a slow cup of tea.

(08:25):
I'm a tea drinker.
Nah, I don't drink coffee.
So if coffee is how you wouldlike to start your day, start it
off with a slow cup of coffee.
Start blocking out ten minuteson your calendar.

(08:48):
Set a timer on your phone ifthat's if that would work better
for you.
Just to sit in silence.
Ten minutes of uninterruptednoise, chatter, speaking, music,

(09:12):
just ten minutes.
Listen to music that feeds yourspirit.
What brings you peace and calm?
What kind of music is that thatbrings you such peace and calm?

(09:32):
Speak gently to yourself.
Out loud, like you would tosomeone you love.
So when you are speaking gentlyto yourself, you are pouring
love into yourself.

(09:53):
Say no to what drains you.
Say yes to what restores you.
You don't have to earn yourrest, queen.
You are deserving of it.

(10:15):
Now let's do a recap.
Number one, start your day witha slow cup of tea or coffee or
water or a green juice, whateversuits your fancy.
Block out ten minutes on yourcalendar just for silence.

(10:39):
Set a timer on your phone.
Number three, listen to musicthat feeds your spirit.
Number four, speak gently toyourself out loud.
So how you would pour intosomeone else with positive words

(11:06):
of love and affirmation, I wantyou to turn that on to
yourself.
And number five, say no to whatdrains you.
Say yes to what restores you.
And again, you don't have toearn your rest, Queen.

(11:30):
You deserve it.
You are not alone.

(12:07):
You are seen.
You are allowed to be soft andstrong.
You are allowed to be tired andstill worthy.
You can rest.
You can heal.

(12:28):
You can choose yourself withoutapology.
This world is so much better,my sisters, because you are in
it.
So take care of the vessel thatcarries all of your black woman

(12:52):
magic.
Until next time, be gentle withyourself.
Please share it with a sisterwho needs that reminder too.

(13:21):
And don't forget to follow theMelanie Move on Podcast on
Instagram.
And send me a DM and how youare making time for yourself.
Because I would love to hearit.
And remember to have the mostincredible, remarkable, and

(13:49):
brilliant day.
Because that is what youdeserve.
I love you.
And until our next episode,take care.
Bye.