November 24, 2025 • 17 mins
Stuck in the loop of “everyone else is ahead” while your plans stall? We get candid about the mantra that pulls us back to center: what’s for you will not miss you. Together we unpack how to trust timing, quiet the comparison trap, and move with purpose even when progress feels slow.
We start by defining the heart of the phrase—alignment, faith, and the belief that purpose arrives on time—even if it doesn’t look like the picture in your head. From there we break down how doom scrolling fuels self-doubt, why curated feeds distort reality, and how harsh self-talk can sabotage momentum. We bring real-life proof that delayed dreams still bloom, including stories of career pivots, long-haul goals, and the truth that arrival isn’t a finale but a new beginning.
You’ll learn four simple practices to restore confidence and consistency: focus on the process rather than the outcome, use daily gratitude to expand perspective, release rigid timelines so delay doesn’t become despair, and separate your worth from speed and checkboxes. We close with actionable steps to curate your inputs, protect your energy, and write a mantra you’ll actually live by. If a door stays closed, we won’t spiral; we’ll pivot with clarity, trust the rhythm, and keep building the life that fits.
If this message lands, share it with someone who needs it, subscribe for more grounded conversations, and leave a review to help others find the show. Tell us: which practice are you trying first?
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kerry (00:11):
Hey, hey, hey tribe, and welcome back to another episode
of the Melanin Unicorn Podcast.
The podcast where we as blackwomen dive deep into life's
lessons, epiphanies, and littlewhispers of wisdom that shape
our journeys.
I'm your host, Kerry, and todaywe're talking about something
(00:33):
that I think hits home for manyof us.
And that is the idea of what'sfor you will not miss you.
You probably heard that phrasebefore, right?
Maybe it was in a moment whenthings didn't go as planned, or
when you were waiting forsomething, an opportunity, a
(00:56):
relationship, a breakthrough.
And someone said it as a way tocomfort you, but what does it
really mean?
And how can we hold on to thisbelief when life feels messy and
uncertain?
Well, let's dive into thisepisode.
Let's talk about the wisdomthat is behind this particular
(01:29):
phrase.
Let's unpack it.
What's for you will not missyou.
It's about trusting and timing,alignment, and a deeper sense
of purpose.
It's rooted in the idea thatwhat's truly meant for you,
(01:51):
whether that's a career path, aperson, or a life experience,
will come to you in the rightmoment.
In the right way.
Even if it doesn't look exactlyhow you imagined it.
But here's the thing.
(02:12):
Trusting that isn't alwayseasy, is it?
Especially when you are doomscrolling on social media.
And it feels like everyoneelse's life is on fast forward
while yours is stuck on pause.
(02:33):
We've all been there.
We've all been there.
Maybe it's the job you didn'tget.
Or the relationship that didn'twork out.
It's hard to trust thatsomething is better around the
corner when you're sitting inthe middle of disappointment and
(02:57):
despair.
But that's exactly what makesthis phrase so powerful because
it's a reminder to lean intofaith, patience, and belief that
God got you, or whatever youbelieve in, is actually working
(03:20):
in your favor.
It may be your own reality.
(03:54):
I know it has been my reality.
I look at my friends who, inthe natural, they have been
written off, but they haveovercome insurmountable odds to
come out on the other side aswinners, powerful, powerful
(04:15):
women in their own right,whether it's in a particular
career field or a changing oftheir careers.
You can't count a person out,nor can you count yourself out.
Even if it may take you alittle longer than the person
(04:38):
next to you to get to thatdestination.
And when you arrive at thatdestination, that should not
even be your quote unquote yourfinale.
You are to keep moving evenpast once you've landed on your
destination.
(04:59):
I've mentioned in a previousepisode that I have a friend who
graduated from law school.
It took her a while to do that.
Two children, twins, you know,she's married, and you know, her
and her husband, they have todo what they have to do for
their family.
So sometimes those dreams areput on hold.
(05:25):
But they're not a denial, itjust means that at that
particular moment, it is not thetime.
But the time still will arrive.
So a dream that is deferreddoes not mean that it will not
(05:45):
make its way into your reality.
And if I can be even more likeclear, stop doom scrolling.
Because many, many of us,including myself, and I've had
to snap out of it, you arelooking at other people's pages
(06:11):
and and their posts, and you'resaying, Oh my gosh, they have it
sewed together, right?
But meanwhile, now you'relooking at your own life with a
magnifying glass, and you'resaying to yourself, I have
achieved nothing, I am afailure.
(06:34):
It's taking me too long to getto what I want, what I have
desired, what I have prayed inmy heart for, it's never gonna
happen for me.
And you are absolutely right.
When you take on that type ofattitude, when you use your
mouth to speak death over yourdreams and your purposes,
(06:59):
they're not gonna come to pass.
So, my advice to you is to stoplooking at what other people
are posting because 95% of thetime they have curated their fee
to make it look as ifeverything is all together.
(07:21):
And that 95%, it is nottogether.
It is the way they filmed it,they edit it, and they put it
out there.
And so now it leaves otherpeople who are looking at their
social media pages thinkinglike, oh, look, see, they have
(07:44):
all of this stuff, even more sothan me.
Meaning um, it may be someobstacles in their life, but
they were able to achieve that.
Number one, you don't know whatis going on in their life.
Number two, you don't know whatthey've actually had to
(08:06):
overcome.
And number three, this mayactually be the fruit of their
labor that they did away fromsocial media.
And I would say that that's the5%, but the 95%, their lives
(08:28):
are just made up, you know, andso and you have to also remember
too that social media is amoney game.
So the more hits you get toyour to your page or your post,
the the more money um that youwill be able to receive.
So also, also, also, pleasekeep that in mind.
(08:51):
And also stop the doomscrolling and work on what you
are supposed to be working onand not being concerned with or
what this person got going on,because that's what I that's
what I have seen on their socialmedia.
(09:11):
Just my two cents.
And how do we start believingthat what's for us will not miss
(09:46):
us?
Here are a few ideas that Ihave.
Focus on the process, not justthe outcome.
When we are so fixated on theend result, we can miss the
beauty of the journey.
(10:06):
Remember, every step, even theones that feel like setbacks, is
teaching you something andpreparing you for what is next.
Number two, practicinggratitude.
Even when things don't go yourway, there's always something to
(10:32):
be grateful for.
Gratitude will always shift ourperspective and opens our heart
to new possibilities.
Number three, let go of thetimeline.
And I know this is a hard one,but sometimes we are so attached
(10:58):
to our own timeline that weforget life has its own rhythm.
Trust that things will unfoldexactly when they are meant to.
And lastly, remember this.
(11:18):
I would even say this is numberfour.
Your worth, my worth, is notdetermined by how quickly we
achieve something, or by howmany boxes we've checked off.
You are enough.
(11:39):
Right here, right now, you areenough.
So let's recap.
Number one, focusing on theprocess, not just the outcome.
(12:00):
This trips a lot of us up, andwe miss the moment.
Please don't let that be you.
Number two, practicinggratitude.
I've said in a previous episodewhen you wake up in the morning
(12:22):
that the first things thatleave your lips is thank you.
Thank you, God, for waking meup to see another day.
And I don't care if it'sraining, snowing, sleeting, or
whatever, thank you for wakingme up to see this beautiful,
(12:43):
beautiful morning.
Gratitude will take you a longway.
And gratitude changes thechemical makeup in your body.
Okay.
Number three, let go of thetimeline.
We are so focused on atimeline.
(13:04):
We we will say January 2025, itstarts here.
December 2025, boom, I've I'vereached my goal.
I've reached the I've reachedmy end goal.
And you know what?
And don't get me wrong, thatmay very well be your thing.
(13:24):
That may very well happen foryou.
But also keep in mind that evenif it goes past the date, the
month and the year that you havewritten down, it's still okay.
It does not negate or take awaythe fact that you will not
reach your goals, you will notmiss what is for you.
(13:50):
Okay, and then again, pleaseremember your worth is not
determined by how quickly youachieve something.
Okay, or checking off all ofthese boxes.
(14:13):
Please stop that.
Please, because what willhappen is you will look at your
list and just say that there areno boxes checked off.
Now you're you are literallyfreaking out, and you're just
going in on yourself saying, Oh,you see, I've got nothing done,
(14:36):
nothing has been achieved, I'mstill behind the eight ball, and
then you you start spiraling,you start crashing out.
If you want to do check boxes,that's cool, but don't beat up
on yourself if you don't havethose boxes that you believe you
(15:00):
should have checked off.
Done.
It's okay.
As we wrap up today's episode,I want you to take a deep breath
and let those words settle.
What's for you will not missyou.
(15:24):
Maybe you write it downsomewhere, maybe you say it to
yourself the next time doubtcreeps in.
Whatever you are waiting for,whatever you're working toward,
trust that it's on its way.
(15:44):
And if it doesn't come, maybeit wasn't meant to be.
Maybe there's something evenbetter waiting for you.
And that's even more excitingto think about.
Right?
Thank you for joining me today.
(16:08):
If this episode resonated withyou, please share it with
someone who might need a littlereminder to trust the process.
And don't forget to subscribe.
You can leave a review, you canfollow me on my Instagram page
(16:30):
at the Melanin Unicorn Podcast.
I'd love to hear your thoughtsand your stories.
Until next time, take care ofyourself, and remember, life
always has a way of workingitself out.
Have the most amazing day.
(16:54):
Make it marvelous and magicalbecause that is the day that you
deserve.
I love you, and I will see youin our next episode.
Take care.
Bye.
Hey, hey, hey tribe, and welcome back to another episode
of the Melanin Unicorn Podcast.
The podcast where we as blackwomen dive deep into life's
lessons, epiphanies, and littlewhispers of wisdom that shape
our journeys.
I'm your host, Kerry, and todaywe're talking about something
(00:33):
that I think hits home for manyof us.
And that is the idea of what'sfor you will not miss you.
You probably heard that phrasebefore, right?
Maybe it was in a moment whenthings didn't go as planned, or
when you were waiting forsomething, an opportunity, a
(00:56):
relationship, a breakthrough.
And someone said it as a way tocomfort you, but what does it
really mean?
And how can we hold on to thisbelief when life feels messy and
uncertain?
Well, let's dive into thisepisode.
Let's talk about the wisdomthat is behind this particular
(01:29):
phrase.
Let's unpack it.
What's for you will not missyou.
It's about trusting and timing,alignment, and a deeper sense
of purpose.
It's rooted in the idea thatwhat's truly meant for you,
(01:51):
whether that's a career path, aperson, or a life experience,
will come to you in the rightmoment.
In the right way.
Even if it doesn't look exactlyhow you imagined it.
But here's the thing.
(02:12):
Trusting that isn't alwayseasy, is it?
Especially when you are doomscrolling on social media.
And it feels like everyoneelse's life is on fast forward
while yours is stuck on pause.
(02:33):
We've all been there.
We've all been there.
Maybe it's the job you didn'tget.
Or the relationship that didn'twork out.
It's hard to trust thatsomething is better around the
corner when you're sitting inthe middle of disappointment and
(02:57):
despair.
But that's exactly what makesthis phrase so powerful because
it's a reminder to lean intofaith, patience, and belief that
God got you, or whatever youbelieve in, is actually working
(03:20):
in your favor.
It may be your own reality.
(03:54):
I know it has been my reality.
I look at my friends who, inthe natural, they have been
written off, but they haveovercome insurmountable odds to
come out on the other side aswinners, powerful, powerful
(04:15):
women in their own right,whether it's in a particular
career field or a changing oftheir careers.
You can't count a person out,nor can you count yourself out.
Even if it may take you alittle longer than the person
(04:38):
next to you to get to thatdestination.
And when you arrive at thatdestination, that should not
even be your quote unquote yourfinale.
You are to keep moving evenpast once you've landed on your
destination.
(04:59):
I've mentioned in a previousepisode that I have a friend who
graduated from law school.
It took her a while to do that.
Two children, twins, you know,she's married, and you know, her
and her husband, they have todo what they have to do for
their family.
So sometimes those dreams areput on hold.
(05:25):
But they're not a denial, itjust means that at that
particular moment, it is not thetime.
But the time still will arrive.
So a dream that is deferreddoes not mean that it will not
(05:45):
make its way into your reality.
And if I can be even more likeclear, stop doom scrolling.
Because many, many of us,including myself, and I've had
to snap out of it, you arelooking at other people's pages
(06:11):
and and their posts, and you'resaying, Oh my gosh, they have it
sewed together, right?
But meanwhile, now you'relooking at your own life with a
magnifying glass, and you'resaying to yourself, I have
achieved nothing, I am afailure.
(06:34):
It's taking me too long to getto what I want, what I have
desired, what I have prayed inmy heart for, it's never gonna
happen for me.
And you are absolutely right.
When you take on that type ofattitude, when you use your
mouth to speak death over yourdreams and your purposes,
(06:59):
they're not gonna come to pass.
So, my advice to you is to stoplooking at what other people
are posting because 95% of thetime they have curated their fee
to make it look as ifeverything is all together.
(07:21):
And that 95%, it is nottogether.
It is the way they filmed it,they edit it, and they put it
out there.
And so now it leaves otherpeople who are looking at their
social media pages thinkinglike, oh, look, see, they have
(07:44):
all of this stuff, even more sothan me.
Meaning um, it may be someobstacles in their life, but
they were able to achieve that.
Number one, you don't know whatis going on in their life.
Number two, you don't know whatthey've actually had to
(08:06):
overcome.
And number three, this mayactually be the fruit of their
labor that they did away fromsocial media.
And I would say that that's the5%, but the 95%, their lives
(08:28):
are just made up, you know, andso and you have to also remember
too that social media is amoney game.
So the more hits you get toyour to your page or your post,
the the more money um that youwill be able to receive.
So also, also, also, pleasekeep that in mind.
(08:51):
And also stop the doomscrolling and work on what you
are supposed to be working onand not being concerned with or
what this person got going on,because that's what I that's
what I have seen on their socialmedia.
(09:11):
Just my two cents.
And how do we start believingthat what's for us will not miss
(09:46):
us?
Here are a few ideas that Ihave.
Focus on the process, not justthe outcome.
When we are so fixated on theend result, we can miss the
beauty of the journey.
(10:06):
Remember, every step, even theones that feel like setbacks, is
teaching you something andpreparing you for what is next.
Number two, practicinggratitude.
Even when things don't go yourway, there's always something to
(10:32):
be grateful for.
Gratitude will always shift ourperspective and opens our heart
to new possibilities.
Number three, let go of thetimeline.
And I know this is a hard one,but sometimes we are so attached
(10:58):
to our own timeline that weforget life has its own rhythm.
Trust that things will unfoldexactly when they are meant to.
And lastly, remember this.
(11:18):
I would even say this is numberfour.
Your worth, my worth, is notdetermined by how quickly we
achieve something, or by howmany boxes we've checked off.
You are enough.
(11:39):
Right here, right now, you areenough.
So let's recap.
Number one, focusing on theprocess, not just the outcome.
(12:00):
This trips a lot of us up, andwe miss the moment.
Please don't let that be you.
Number two, practicinggratitude.
I've said in a previous episodewhen you wake up in the morning
(12:22):
that the first things thatleave your lips is thank you.
Thank you, God, for waking meup to see another day.
And I don't care if it'sraining, snowing, sleeting, or
whatever, thank you for wakingme up to see this beautiful,
(12:43):
beautiful morning.
Gratitude will take you a longway.
And gratitude changes thechemical makeup in your body.
Okay.
Number three, let go of thetimeline.
We are so focused on atimeline.
(13:04):
We we will say January 2025, itstarts here.
December 2025, boom, I've I'vereached my goal.
I've reached the I've reachedmy end goal.
And you know what?
And don't get me wrong, thatmay very well be your thing.
(13:24):
That may very well happen foryou.
But also keep in mind that evenif it goes past the date, the
month and the year that you havewritten down, it's still okay.
It does not negate or take awaythe fact that you will not
reach your goals, you will notmiss what is for you.
(13:50):
Okay, and then again, pleaseremember your worth is not
determined by how quickly youachieve something.
Okay, or checking off all ofthese boxes.
(14:13):
Please stop that.
Please, because what willhappen is you will look at your
list and just say that there areno boxes checked off.
Now you're you are literallyfreaking out, and you're just
going in on yourself saying, Oh,you see, I've got nothing done,
(14:36):
nothing has been achieved, I'mstill behind the eight ball, and
then you you start spiraling,you start crashing out.
If you want to do check boxes,that's cool, but don't beat up
on yourself if you don't havethose boxes that you believe you
(15:00):
should have checked off.
Done.
It's okay.
As we wrap up today's episode,I want you to take a deep breath
and let those words settle.
What's for you will not missyou.
(15:24):
Maybe you write it downsomewhere, maybe you say it to
yourself the next time doubtcreeps in.
Whatever you are waiting for,whatever you're working toward,
trust that it's on its way.
(15:44):
And if it doesn't come, maybeit wasn't meant to be.
Maybe there's something evenbetter waiting for you.
And that's even more excitingto think about.
Right?
Thank you for joining me today.
(16:08):
If this episode resonated withyou, please share it with
someone who might need a littlereminder to trust the process.
And don't forget to subscribe.
You can leave a review, you canfollow me on my Instagram page
(16:30):
at the Melanin Unicorn Podcast.
I'd love to hear your thoughtsand your stories.
Until next time, take care ofyourself, and remember, life
always has a way of workingitself out.
Have the most amazing day.
(16:54):
Make it marvelous and magicalbecause that is the day that you
deserve.
I love you, and I will see youin our next episode.
Take care.
Bye.
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