December 16, 2024 • 54 mins
DJ and Brad discuss why Christians should be the happiest. However, we're not. They discuss the little ways that God has impacted their lives and how happiness, especially during Christmas time, should be expressed by Christians outside the church building.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome. This is the Men Church Stuff Podcast.
(00:17):
This is the show where brothers-in-law DJ Culp and Brad Coleman talk about stuff from
our perspective as men. It's a show for anyone who wants to hear how Christians interact
with the world. And don't worry, we're real. We've grown up in church and we want to share
our experiences with you. We'll talk life stuff, church stuff, man stuff, and stuff
(00:39):
stuff. Here we go.
Greetings listeners here and there and everywhere all across the land. This is the Men Church
Stuff Podcast. Happy December. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas for sure. I'm
(00:59):
one of your hosts DJ Culp as always here with my beloved brother-in-law who I get to see
very soon, Brad Coleman. Brad, I'm so stoked, man. I can't wait to have you guys over.
I'm glad you get to see me too.
I'm excited. So when this drops, we'll see each other next week. But when it drops, right
(01:25):
now it's like three weeks away. But how you doing, man?
Pretty good this morning other than the frustration we've already talked about with stupid, stupid
things.
Yeah, listeners, Brad and I have already been, well, we've been solving the world's technological
problems and nobody knows.
(01:50):
You know, I mean, Brad.
I'll give you all some time, a few minutes and bank speak is 10. If you don't wait 10
minutes, try again.
Bank speak. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Windows of technology are very hard to navigate. So
(02:14):
listeners, we hope that you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving. And obviously we are well into
the full blown swing of Christmas season. Again, when this drops, I know, I know, sharing
the kids, they've got, they'll be in their last week of class. When does Tabitha get
(02:38):
out? Do you know?
So they go through the 20th. Yeah. Sharing the kids, they've got a half day on the 20th.
Yeah. It's really late.
And then they don't go back until, I know the kids go back on the second, I think.
Okay. Yeah. I think it's actually about right. I think that's, that's, that's a mirror of
what, what shares does. Yeah. So I'm done at the end of next week or when this drops,
(03:03):
I am done. And then we don't go back until the 7th of January. But, so-
I'm done when Jesus comes back.
Yeah. And that's exactly right. Yeah, you are. Yeah. When do, when, yeah, when do pastors
have time off? When they die.
(03:29):
So let's go ahead and do this at the top of the show. Coffee time, Brad. Let's get some
coffee time. Coffee time. Coffee time. I'll cue the music. So listeners, if you're regulars
of the show, you will know that we are in and have been for about a month and a half
now collaboration with the Green Frog Coffee Company. I love going to Green Frog. Man, I
(03:54):
love going to Green Frog. The people there are super nice. They've got, they've got wonderful
coffee, wonderful food. Today's coupon code, which will get you $2 off of your order, both
in store and online all day long. Our coupon code today is happy. Happy, happy, happy. Just
(04:15):
one happy though.
Yeah, just one happy.
Just one happy. It's not like $2 every time that you say the word happy.
DJ doesn't let me make the code or it would be in quotations, just one happy. Happy's
not working. It's just one happy.
It's like the stories of the Walmart employees, you know, that like write names on the cake.
(04:40):
Happy birthday, Kelsey, with a K and an IE. You know, like what are you talking about?
One of my favorite is and under that, write happy birthday.
So you want me to put all of this in there?
Under that write happy birthday.
(05:01):
So Green Frog Coffee Company, they are a coffee store here in Jackson, Tennessee, or actually
stores multiple, but we were in a collaboration with the North End. But they're built on Christian
values. They have been playing Christmas music since before Thanksgiving. They are my kind
of people. They have had a Christmas tree up in their store since before Thanksgiving.
(05:26):
Yet again, my kind of people. But they are. They're built on Christian values. Their owner,
their owner Tim is an outspoken Christian, and he wanted to have Great Coffee, which
they do, built on or a great coffee store built on Christian values. And their coffee
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so good that a snowman would drink it.
Did you ask me how many Christmas trees I have up in my house?
How many Christmas trees do you have up in your house?
Zero.
None.
There will be. There will be at some point.
(06:06):
At some point. Yeah. So you shouldn't have like.
Probably before Christmas.
People are coming over. Get it up fast.
So our topic today related to the coupon code happy. Our topic today is happy.
(06:28):
The idea that we're that Brad and I are going to talk about is I think one certainly that's
not foreign to everybody. I should say foreign in concept, but I think that there's probably
a lot of people who have had experiences where what I'm about to say is, in fact, foreign
that Christians should be the most grateful people on the planet.
(06:53):
We should.
The operative word there is should.
So let's start. Let's start with this. Brad wanted to Brad's idea was to have some conversation
on little moments. So, Brad, what is a God moment? A little a little moment like the,
(07:15):
you know, the God drops that kind of stick out to you for for what he's done in your
life?
Well, and I think they're I think the more you look, the more you find them. And that's
one of the things that I want to encourage people to be looking for those God moments.
Lost a wonderful lady at church recently. She's gone home to be with the Lord. Cancer.
(07:39):
By the time they found it, it was stage four and took her real quick. And really her, her,
that's what she wanted. She didn't want people to have to suffer. She she was upset with
a lot of people at the end. And she was by far one of the few people that was at like
(08:01):
such a peace about just going home and being with Jesus. And so.
I think I can only hope to be that bold.
Yes. Oh, no, same, same. Seriously. So we had gone in for Thanksgiving and it's like
(08:22):
the next morning I get up and I get a message that she passed. And so I'm sad. Sure. I'm
grieving. She was actually worried about me. Last time I saw her right before we left,
you know, in the hospital, I heard she's like, you're going to be OK. This is the lady who
(08:42):
dying of cancer. And she's like, you're going to be OK, pastor. And I took a step back
toward her and I said, when you when you go home, I will cry. And she kind of like, like
had a little bit of an like, oh, kind of reaction. And I was like, I was like, but I will also
(09:02):
celebrate because I know that you are going to be with Jesus. And then, you know, she
just she she smiled and she was a she was a hugger. She hugged everybody that she could
get to. But like, you know, like every, you know, every Sunday she would hug me to say,
I'm praying for you. How are you doing? And if she could tell that there was something
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on my mind, she'd go, what's going on? You know, and she she'd ask, you know, if something
was going had been going on with my mom or something, if I'd said that a few weeks before
she'd couple weeks later, she'd be like, how's your mom doing? OK, that sort it out.
I mean, like she was a prayer warrior. She's a she's a Barnabas. Yeah, it's wonderful.
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So I lost this, you know, so we've lost this lady. So my heart's broken. And we were going
to go to Wal-Mart and get some stuff, but your sister had a craving for this chocolate
that we found that has no like artificial or processed sugar in it. And apparently for
(10:06):
people who eat sugar, it tastes awful. But for us, it tastes amazing. It's like anyway.
It's not commercial for that. That's exactly right. Yeah. After the show, you can tell
me what it is. Yeah. But she was like, I don't think Wal-Mart has it. But she's like, I bet
Kroger does because we were visiting family in the Kroger neck of the woods. And so we
(10:28):
went into Kroger and they did. We got some. And as we're coming out, some friends whom
we hadn't seen in a long time are walking up. We don't live around here. We're visiting
you know, 400 miles away from where we live. Right. And so here are these, you know, these
(10:49):
friends and greeted them and they're like, oh, we did a double take. I was like, that
couldn't be them. And he was like, I wasn't even thinking, you know, because being Thanksgiving,
I didn't see him in years. You know, he gave me a huge hug. This huge hug. And so much
(11:12):
more to the story. Your sister would get on to me probably for not sharing. Maybe I should.
So we ran into James, who is the guy who received my kidney. Oh, dude. Oh, wow. I've seen in
(11:33):
years. Yeah. And they're pregnant with number five. They say they're done this time. But
again, a small part of me with that story, you know, we're not a big part of their life,
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which is fine. We're several hundred miles away. We weren't super close. Like I didn't
even know James before actually, like we went to church together. But you know, he gave
me this huge hug. And like Tammy and I just kept talking about it, about like how God
is working. She's like, one, you don't need the kidney, James. So God made you, made the
(12:25):
kidney super close because like we were like a super high match. They were like high 90s
match for the kidney. It was such a great matches. It was just a God thing all the way.
It was like, so God cleared, like he made you. So you give this kidney to James, puts
it on your heart. You give it to James. Effectively, you know, I hate to even say saving his life,
(12:53):
but I tend to downsize it. Call it what it is, dude. It's all right. And she said, and
then years later you fall from the ceiling and you land on your left side. Gosh. Oh my
God. You land on that side and they told you in the hospital, if you would have had a kidney
(13:13):
there, you most likely would have died before you got to the hospital. Because of the force
of the impact, it would have ruptured the kidney. And poisoned your body. Yeah. Oh my
gosh, dude. The internal bleeding, sepsis. This is like, the doctor went like, you not
having a kidney on that side saved your life. She's like, in here, she's like, so, but she's
(13:39):
like, but stay with me, stay with me. So Ms. Shirley, we know was praying for you and praying
for, to, that God would encourage you as she's living her final hours. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Right. He's worried about you. And we know as a prayer warrior that she's praying for
you, that God will encourage you after she goes. And we run into James who gives you
(14:04):
a big hug. And Shirley is a big, you know, she was the big hugger. So here I lose Ms.
Shirley and I lose those hugs, but I get this huge hug from James. And it was just like
right after I had found out this news. Because your sister was craving chocolate. Because
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that's how God, you know, God just works all this. And I just, like, we're on the way back
and I'm kind of crying a little bit. And I was like, I didn't even know I needed that
hug that much. Right. Yeah. But again, like all of those things where I can look back
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on a lot of them and go, oh, look, that was God, that was God, that was God. So I think
those are good too. But then in the moment, to be able to acknowledge, for us both to
acknowledge while God just set this up, I was like, we weren't looking for them, they
weren't looking for us. You know, we live so far apart, they've got their family, we've
(15:09):
got our family, we keep up with each other kind of on Facebook a little bit. But for
that to just all come together at the right time that I needed it the most. Yeah. And
it's like, oh, this is these God moments that everybody else outside may not seem like a
(15:32):
big deal. Right. But to me, it was monumental. Well, and I mean, that's the thing. So I think
Brad in just sort of the Western approach, right? Like the tracking all the way back
to our roots in Rome. Gun slingers and outlaws. Yeah, the Wild West. Yeah, Billy the Kid.
(15:58):
No, you know, tracking our roots all the way back to the way that Rome did it. In the Western
world, specifically now, I think far too often what our culture wants desperately and has
wanted desperately for a while to show is that if it's good for the masses, it's the
(16:24):
best. You know what I mean? Like, in other words, that small God moment means nothing
to anybody else that wasn't there. So clearly, you can't use that as a way to really explain
that God is a part of your life because that particular story doesn't apply to anybody
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else except for you. And that's no good to the masses, which is complete and utter nonsense.
I mean, it's total bogus. And I'm not going to unpack it because I don't even know the
full breadth of it. But I know that's very intimately rooted in postmodernism. Having
said that, dude, that is an absolute God moment. Why? Because that's like God speaking to you
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in his own way, right? I mean, Eric Metaxas, and I'm certainly not going to speak for someone
else, but I'll share the story that he shares, is that he had deep in his own heart this
basic imagery of what Christ would be. And as weird as it sounds, in his head, Christ
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is a golden fish that he would catch if he were ice fishing. I have no idea why. Go look
it up. Listen or go look it up. But one night he had a dream where this was his, the dream
that he had, the story that he was bearing witness to. And there's something about dreams
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that make us think, like, is this fake? Is this not? Is this just total bogus? Because
sometimes dreams are stupid. But there was something so surreal about it. And when he
woke up, he knew that that was God communicating to him. So yeah, dude, I mean, like, I love
that. That's awesome. Yeah, so listeners, you know, if you guys have had moments like
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that, shoot, let us know. And if you don't want to let us know, talk to somebody about
it. Brad, for me, when you were saying, you know, like, this was something that you weren't
looking for. There was something, there was something to me that brought memories back
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that I did not know until I until like I started making peanut brittle. Listeners, this is
something I actually haven't shared on the show. But I do make peanut brittle. I don't
really do it, you know, a ton because I mean, it's really time, time intensive. But I'm
(19:17):
fourth generation. And Brad, I don't know if you know, like the real backstory. But
I grew up with mom's parents, grandma, my granddaddy, I always grew up with anytime
that we would go to their house, she would always have peanut brittle. So I grew up that
grandma knowing that grandma had peanut brittle. So my dad's parents and my mom's parents,
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they didn't they didn't really hang out hardly at all the very, very, very different types
of people. But I grew up with I grew up with kind of like a certain level of of kind of
like animosity with grandma and grandpa, my dad's parents. And when I started making peanut
(20:01):
brittle, when Sharon, I were in Oxford, Mississippi, the reason that I started doing it is out
of nowhere one day, you know, grandmama died in 2007. And it was about six years later,
five or five years later, six years later, that all of a sudden I realized, gosh, I hadn't
(20:24):
had peanut brittle a long time. I have no idea, Brad, no earthly idea why that popped
into my mind. But I asked mom, did she still have the recipe that grandmama had? So she
gave it to me. And I started making peanut brittle. And it became like the new thing.
This is what DJ does at, you know, at holidays. So I was talking to mom and dad about it.
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And lo and behold, it's not grandmama that initially had the recipe. It was grandma.
Did you know this? No. Yeah. And and I was like, whoa, time out. How the heck did grandma
get the recipe from grandma and grandpa? Because like they are they were just completely different
families, different couples with pretty large, I'll say pretty large chasm in terms of beliefs
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that would keep them separated. And I can't remember if it was mom or dad that told me
that one, I guess it was like a family reunion or something, but one very rare time where
both both of them, both sets of grandparents were together. Grandmama tried grandma's peanut
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brittle. She had it. And she said, oh, my gosh, this is incredible. I want the recipe.
Grandma was happy to give it to her. When I learned that this stupid candy became something
that meant way more to me than anything else, because grandma and granddaddy were always
(22:00):
extremely devout Christians, like like big time. And I'm not talking about, you know,
just not just in routine. You could clearly tell when you were around grandma and granddaddy
versus grandma and grandpa who was in love with Jesus. I'll do it that way. And for this
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candy to bring these two families together, all of a sudden made this experience for me
completely different. Every like I actually went back and revisited every memory that
I had of grandmama's peanut brittle, and it now meant something different to me. And that
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little just that little nugget of information is something that that like I began to cherish.
Like this is this is this is seriously bread. This was like a God thing. And when I say
it was a God thing, not necessarily that like how do I say it? It may be not necessarily
(23:07):
in the same in the same frame of references like as as some people will call like a divine
appointment, kind of like kind of like you running into James, right? But this particular
this particular candy decades later became something way bigger than it than it originally
was. And whenever every single time, no joke, every single time, I can't not do this, that
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I make peanut brittle. I always think this candy for a small fraction of time brought
my grandparents together. The division of the division of households was was relieved
for however long because of peanut brittle. And like and I love reflecting on that as
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this is a this is the way that God began. If he hadn't already, God began to to mend
maybe not necessarily broken relationships, but mend differences. Right. So question here,
do you feel and it's a loaded question. Sorry, it's a leading question, but I'm going to
(24:24):
ask it anyways. Do you feel that Christians are the most grateful people on the planet?
I think it depends on the Christian. Right. Yeah. I've certainly met some that are. Yes.
Oh, dude, that's a great answer, because those people, they're golden. They are they are
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they are people you don't forget. Yeah. So so outside. So other than other than this
lady that you were talking about, who's someone else? Who's someone else, Brad, that that
really sticks out in your mind? Who's who is someone? Oh, oh, I've got this. I've got
(25:14):
this brother in law. Yeah. There's a there was a lady in Ohio. She's she's gone ahead.
She's with the Lord now, too. After we left, she had passed. Her name was Miss Ruth. At
least that's what I was calling Miss Ruth in an electronic wheelchair. But just always
(25:44):
thankful, you know, low income, didn't have much, had lost her husband, you know. Always
cherry. Here's another one's got my with her. Right. So I'm in my office as a youth pastor
years ago. I'm literally prayer journaling. I'm very I'm very anxious. I'm really struggling.
(26:07):
And I'm literally just prayer journaling all of this. I'm just struggling. And she'd be
like, knock, knock, and just kind of stroll, you know, with their electronic wheelchair,
whatever, into my office. So I can't come in. Oh, hey, Miss Ruth. She looked at me and
(26:28):
she said, I'm really struggling today. And then she said, No, but you know what? I'm
just not gonna let myself struggle. Because, you know, I don't remember all she said, but
you know, God's so good. And I'm just I'm just not gonna go there. Yeah, like, you know,
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she's like, I'm just, I'm just gonna praise the Lord. And she was she was just a joy.
She was she I love her. She was eccentric. She wasn't everybody's cup of tea. Yeah, right.
Very I love eccentric people is very just but loving eccentric could be loud sometimes
(27:11):
and just but just Yeah, just this. See me one of those most thankful, grateful people
and one of the most happy people that that I knew, whom whom God used at a time when
I'm sitting there really kind of falling down in a pity party for myself. And then prayer
(27:35):
of like, like, I'm struggling so much. And here's this lady who rolls in on this electric
wheelchair to my office and goes, Hey, I'm struggling. But you know what? I'm not gonna
let myself go. And I'm like, I know she didn't hear me because I'm not saying it out loud.
There's no way she can read what I wrote. I know, man. I know. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah,
she was just just another one of those, those, those people. And I mean, I, you know, I sit
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here and make a make a list. Definitely some of like, I love it when when you have an old
saint of God, and they are just they smell like Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, like, an
odd way to put it. But yeah. I mean, I know what you mean. I always think of Mexican restaurant,
(28:27):
you go to a good Mexican restaurant, you come out, you smell like a Mexican restaurant.
It stinks. That's right. You get dirty laundry. There's no doubt that you have been. It's
right, man. You know, if you're on around a good campfire, you know, like...
Oh, dude, I love that smell. Burning leaves. I have to take a shower, you know, until I've
(28:49):
washed my beard, I can smell that campfire. Yep, I know. You know, so that's the way I
think about it. So like, they've been around Jesus so much that they've picked up, they
smell like Jesus. And this is that reflection of His love. And so I'm like, one, I wanna
be that. I wanna be more like that now, and I wanna be that... I want people to be like,
(29:14):
oh, you know, Brad loves the Lord, and man, he's just so grateful, and no matter what
he goes through, like, you can just tell he's got Jesus, and he loves Jesus, and he reflects
Jesus' love. I don't want to be old and bitter. Yeah. I've met people, and again, I'm not
(29:35):
trying to come from a place of judgment because, you know what? There's a lot of people that
deal with a lot of stuff when they're old. They've lost a lot. They are... A lot of them
are physically hurting. They're physically mourning the fact that they can't... Like,
when it takes everything that you have to just get up and go to the bathroom so you
(30:00):
can come back and sit down and be worn out. I get it. It's hard not to be cranky when
stuff like that happens. But I'm like, I want to be like the Miss Shirley's and the Miss
Roots who are struggling with a lot of things, but they're thankful for the things that they
(30:27):
have, and they're more concerned with everybody else than themselves.
Yeah.
So Miss Shirley was anxious. I'm not going to get into her story because she will...
Look, but she was anxious about the people she was leaving behind and how losing her
(30:47):
was going to affect them. Like, as she's in her final days, that was her biggest concern,
her biggest anxiety was trying to make sure all of these things were taken care of for
all of the people that she was leaving behind. Because when she would talk about actually
her going home, I mean, then she told me, she's like, you need to tell First Baptist
(31:12):
Murphy, and again, that's her church home. She's like, you need to tell them that I am
at peace and I'm ready to go because they need to know it. So I don't know who's out
there that may be listening who's not First Baptist Murphy. Miss Shirley was at peace
because she has Jesus and she was ready to go. She told... This is how wonderful this
(31:36):
lady is, right? When her doctor gave her the news, he was struggling. This is stage four
lung cancer. She held his hand.
And comforted him.
And comforted him.
That's so awesome. All right, so one of the things, Brad, that... And I want to trail
(31:59):
off, I want to spend a little bit of time here because I think it's so worth it. And
in my lifetime, I have not heard a lot of these conversations. And let me preface why.
I think specifically in our generation, so between people that are 30 and 40, when we
were kids, I think we began to see a huge cultural shift.
(32:26):
You know that neither one of us are in that range anymore, right?
30s and 40s?
Is it between 30 and 40?
Oh, I guess that's true. Yeah. I'm giving credit to the people that are...
30s and 40s?
40s, yes, 40s. But when we were kids, I think is when we really began to see this massive
cultural shift for hiring young folks and beginning to see sort of turning a blind eye
(32:56):
to the older generation and more experience. But there's something, Brad, that popped into
my mind while you were talking about the lady in the electric wheelchair. I hope, I pray
deep in my heart that when I'm a senior citizen, that I have the exact same approach to life.
(33:21):
I'm not embittered because yeah, you're right. The later in life that we get, the more I
can only assume that we're going to suffer because our bodies are deteriorating, people
are starting to die, friends that we had are starting to... You know what I mean? Just
the end of life stages. But in midst of all of that, why is it so important that we have
(33:44):
those people in our churches not to say, well, tell you what, we can be your nursing home
before you actually head to one, but rather like we need your life experience. I need
to know, I need to see in your eyes, I need to see in your life that like God is absolutely
(34:05):
faithful and this is the kind of joy that we can have when our life is way worse, at
least face value, our life is way worse than it used to be. And dude, those kinds of people,
they are priceless. So the person I was thinking of, and ironically, it's another woman, like
(34:30):
the other two people have been women, grandma and grandmama, but Rich Cottrell's mom, Rich,
shout out to Rich. I'm going to make sure that I get to, I tag you on the show, but
shout out to Rich. His mom, June, was central to basically me having a grandmother while
(34:59):
in college. Now, there is a moment of pure unadulterated wisdom that came out of her
mouth before Cher and I left for Mississippi. I'd already been accepted into their music
department, but Brad, I was going, I mean, Cher and I were having, it was just such a,
(35:22):
it's such a life shift. It was terrifying for both of us, but I was having massive,
I'm talking about massive amounts of doubt. Did we make the right decision? I mean, we
haven't left yet, so I can still back out. You know, I mean, we were doing that whole,
I was doing that whole dance and June took us out to dinner one night. And I mean, because
(35:45):
she was like a grandmother to me, I had no problem just kind of just, you know, emotionally
venting to her. And Cher, too. And I told her, like, I mean, you know, did we make the
right choice? And what if the references, you know, the professors that wrote references
(36:09):
for me, what if I let them down? And this is what she said. She worked as an administrative
assistant, a secretary, right? Administrative assistant for the Department of Education
at Murray State University. And she worked there for, I don't know, 20 years maybe. And
this is what she said, DJ, I have seen enough of these references and I've seen enough of,
(36:36):
you know, students that go from masters to doctorate to know that when a professor writes
a reference, their name is attached to it. They're not going to write a reference for
someone who's going to end up being a failure. You have like you have purpose. You have been
(36:58):
referenced for a reason. And I'm just sitting there thinking this is there is no rebuttal
that I can give to this. There's no argument that I can give to this. And it's her compassion.
It's her it was her experience. But it was also her love for the Lord that gave her this
(37:19):
just this, you know, shut up, you know, and like you like I love you. And I know that
the people that have referenced you like they are they are the holy shut up. It's a holy
shut up. That's right. That's exactly right. Listen, I love you. I'm going to say it's
(37:39):
real nasty, but shut up. But shut up. That's exactly right. Yeah. Knock it off. Go and
go and do what what you know you're supposed to do. Oh, man. Yeah. So I would agree, Brad,
that some Christians that it depends on the Christian. So one of the things that I think
(38:02):
we've got a little bit more time that we can we can unpack just a little bit more. One
of the things that I think our our church, our church culture does does too well is oftentimes
mimic the keeping up with the Joneses type of type of approach with culture. So from
(38:28):
that kind of like from that respect, how have you seen discontentment in Christians, not
necessarily in the church unless you want to go there. But but how have you seen discontentment
in the in Christians? I've experienced discontentment in myself. You know, my focus is is not where
(38:54):
it needs to be in Walmart. Yeah. That's TJ. I'm already telling myself. Yeah. Don't worry,
Brad. I'm here to throw you under the bus. Yeah. So yeah. So certainly in the man in
the mirror. Right. But let me switch it around just to say this real quick. We're talking
(39:19):
about the Miss Charlies and Miss Rose. We're not suggesting that people need to come in
and just act like they're OK, because that's that's not the reflection of these ladies.
No, you know, they're they're letting you know if there's something wrong when you pray
for it. Hey, oh, yeah, my roof's leaking. Whatever. Oh, that sucks. They're just making
(39:42):
the best of of everything. And and and they're focusing on the good. And I think that's where
I get myself in trouble. You know, talking to your dad years ago and I guess Tabby and
I were probably just just married and. Sharon, you know, my struggles and my anxiety is a
(40:11):
little bit more with your dad as we were getting to know each other. Yeah. And your dad held
up his hand and he was like, like he's he's like, Brad, we have all these things that
he moved his fingers, four fingers up and down. It's like we have all these things that
go good. And then put it on this one thing that goes bad. And we will focus on this one
(40:32):
thing that goes bad instead of these four things that go good. It's true. And and and
that's part of that is just the struggle with our humanity. So like we all have the tendency
to do that. That's right. But but I think the Miss Ruth's and and and the Miss Shirley's
and these others have learned to be better at focusing on the four that are going good
(41:03):
instead of the other. And so I think with people who who are discontent or myself, a
lot of times it's because we're focusing on on that percentage of things that are going
wrong that Walmart made me mad. Yep. And I have a choice. Right. One, I can take it personal
(41:25):
and it's not whatever. Brad Walmart is out to get you. Yeah. Yeah. It's just you, Brad.
You. That's right. You're on the list. You know, and I can, you know, and I can hurt
them by not going to Walmart. That's right. That's right. Because they're because they're
sticking to them, Brad. And I could let it ruin my whole day. Yeah. And there have been
(41:49):
times when I've done that. There's been times when I have let it ruin my whole day. Yeah,
I think that's where we get with the discontent is is, you know, life is full of sucky stuff.
Yes. Right. And every day is going to have its share of good and bad. Right. And some
(42:10):
days are going to be heavier on the bad than others. But yeah, I think I think with that
discontent, it's because we're looking at their own things. I also think that I'm going
to interject here real quick that I know for me and I'm overgeneralizing and saying, well,
(42:34):
certainly if me then everybody else too. But I think that misplaced righteous indignation
is something, you know, is something that that that we deal with. Like there really is a sense of entitlement.
If we have righteous indignation, I have been wronged. I didn't do anything to deserve this.
(42:54):
Brad, you did not do anything to Walmart to deserve their system, you know, canceling
my order, canceling your order. Walmart doesn't want you to get groceries. They don't want
you to have groceries. You don't want my money? Yeah. So I think like for discontentment,
(43:20):
in my experience, again, I'm going to put myself at the mercy of, you know, of the of
the of the jury. I think the discontentment is is that I'm not focused on the God moments
because I'm not looking at the four fingers. I'm always watching out for the thumb. And
(43:45):
it's almost like I know whether if it's not me, then somewhere else there there's going
to be something that that'll happen. And I'm going to have to deal with that now. And I'm
not I don't focus. I don't I don't sit and meditate and and and reflect on the ways on
(44:06):
all on all the ways that that God, in fact, has done more way more and above, you know.
And to that point, I'm going to I'm going to it really sounds like some low hanging fruit
here, Brad. But it's true. Listeners, I've I've done my I've done my time. I shouldn't
(44:32):
say it that way. I may edit that out. But like, I worked a long time in food service.
And there's nothing wrong with food service. So please don't hear me like bashing it because
like, I mean, if you're good at what you do, you'll make you'll make pretty good money.
But you I mean, you are you are you are thrust into into the the you know, the public the
(44:57):
public specter when when you work food service. And Brad, this is true. When I was finishing
my master's degree, I was a server at Applebee's. And every every other weekend ish, I would
work I would work a Sunday afternoon shift. I hated working Sundays. Now, for those of
(45:21):
you that are assuming I did not hate I did not hate I did not hate working on Sundays
because it didn't allow me to go to church. Actually, I got to go to church. Matter of
fact, that was one of the things that I told my boss is like, I mean, Applebee's wasn't
open for breakfast, so I didn't have to worry about having to miss church. But I explained
to him, look, I you know, I can't make it until this point in time, but I'm happy to
work the afternoon. I hated working Sundays, because the rudest, cheapest people that I
(45:49):
have ever served were Christians coming from church. And and and to that point, I don't
I don't want our listeners, I don't want our listeners to think everyone is like that.
Can I split a hair? Split a hair, dude. All right. They're they were church people.
(46:11):
They were church people. Yeah. Yeah. Because because Christian infers that your little
Christ that your Christ like. So they were not reflecting that I'm not saying they weren't
Christian. Right. I'm not saying that they weren't saved. Yeah, but they were not reflecting
that title. That's right. Yeah. And to that point, Brad, I am as guilty as they were of
(46:39):
thinking that I have the opportunity because I just let it slip out of my mind to turn
the Christian off. Right. You know, like, I I don't know, being being being snarky about
it. You know, I sat in church with my smile and I said some amens. I'm good. I get it.
I get an opportunity to just sit down at a meal and think that everything should be should
(47:03):
be catered to me. And, you know, like, I like it. Where do you want to go? So many things
connect. No, no, like so many so many things connecting. Yeah. All right. So so I think
about about the apostles arguing about who's greatest. Right. Yeah. Argue whose greatest,
whose greatest among them. And Jesus goes, if you want to be the greatest, you got to
(47:25):
be the servant or slave of everyone. Like I think sometimes in our humanity, we're like,
oh, so I got to put my time in down as the slave to everyone before I get up. You know,
what like Jesus saying, that's where it's at. I think that like serving everyone, Jesus,
who is God, who is God on the way to the cross, washes dirty disciples feet. I will never
(47:51):
get over that. And one of them was Judas. Yeah, he he he he sucked with Judas. Yes.
And he got down and he washed their feet. Right. So sometimes we get this humanity.
I think we go, I'm a child of the king. I'm a joint heir in the kingdom of heaven. I'm
(48:12):
a child of the king of kings, which is awesome. This is amazing. And like we should have that
focus. But what that means is not what it means in our carnal thinking. Right. If if
the king of England walks in, he expects for everybody to act like he's the king of England.
(48:36):
Right. Right. So so if his sons or their grandsons come in, like there's there's this expectation,
you should treat me like I'm the king. Right. And so I think if we're not careful, as as
Christians, as people who belong to Christ, who are joint heirs in the kingdom, who like
(48:57):
we can get that, well, that means you that I'm due. Right. When really what it means
is we ought to be washing more feet. Yeah. Lest we not forget that God, the father, showed
his showed his great love for us in this way, that while we were still sinners, Christ died
(49:20):
for us. Yeah. Like so. So to your point, Brad, you know, when the king of England walks in,
he does expect that everybody bows to him. Jesus had the opposite expectation. He didn't
walk around saying, excuse me, knees, please. Like, no, no, man. He just he just walked
with us. Yeah, that's that's yeah, that's legit. It's good stuff. So to that so to that
(49:44):
to that end, listener, I doubt very seriously that I that I really need to say this, but
I want to not as. How do I how do I word it, Brad? I will say this as as an encouragement
(50:05):
to pass along to people throughout the rest of the Christmas season and the you know,
the New Year holiday, because we always have a very, very unique perspective, a unique
window of opportunity to share joy in a way that that our culture is not willing to receive
if it's not Christmas time, if it's not the New Year's holiday. Be not not don't just
(50:31):
be the hands and feet of Jesus in the way that you serve in the various ways, but in
the way that you smile at people, if and when you get screwed over. It's just something
that happens. Big deal. So they so they overcooked your steak. I'm sorry, dude, I really am.
(50:52):
I if I was if I was the grill cook, I can't promise that I wouldn't have done that. But
if they overcooked, undercooked, whatever the case is, if something goes wrong, if you're
mad at Wal-Mart, if you're mad at Wal-Mart, you got to call into the help center. It is
not the person at the help center. That's right. Who canceled your order. How can you
(51:14):
show that you are content with Christ, even when other people continue to be stupid? I
do this one seriously is one of the reasons why I love this time of the year. I love showing
I love interacting. And to be quite honest, I'm almost ashamed that I try to I try to
(51:42):
do it more during Christmas than I do the rest of the year. But man, I love telling
people Merry Christmas and smiling. Because the hustle and the hustle can really take
over. I saw this happen one time we had a church event. And I overheard this. This lady
(52:04):
who had came who was a clerk at one of the stores because I know that because I seen
her checking out and she ran into this lady from her church. And she just lit up and she
went you go to church here. And she knew the person from checking her out in the store
(52:25):
so many times. That's awesome, dude. And she was excited to see her. Oh, you go to church
here. And that's that's that's who we want to be not the Oh, you go to church here. Yeah.
Yeah, I am the person that you know, that you cussed out. I am the person. Yeah, let's
not be those folks. Listeners, thank you so much for hanging out with us. We love you
(52:48):
guys. We really do. Brad and I love love moments that we get to spend with each other like
this. Brad, I'm so excited about playing Railbearing with you. I can't wait. Oh, and this is again,
like you were saying earlier, Brad, that that you know, this isn't really, you know, we're
not going to promote other different products. But there's another game called Ransom Notes
(53:14):
that we're going to play. Dude, it's so much fun. It's so much fun. But listeners, you
know what to do. Connect with us. I think I'm just going to delete our Twitter account
because I don't use it because it's stupid. I can't like I don't know. It's dumb. So it's
just going to accept. Yeah, like who cares? Yeah, I'm done. I'm done with it. But but
we'll do we'll we'll stay on Facebook and we'll stay on Instagram. And please connect
(53:38):
with us. You can email us at MenChurchStuff at Gmail. Please, guys, we really want your
interaction. We want to hear from you. We want to be able to connect with you. Brad
and I, we want to we want to hear your questions. We want to hear your thoughts. We want to
hear. We want to know it's you know, and again, we we love doing this, but we want to know
it's worth worth our time. Yeah, absolutely. That that that you know, we're not just I
(54:01):
mean, we can have these conversations whether we record it or not. That's exactly right.
And we do. Yeah. So to that point, yeah, connect with us. And again, remember, if you're in
the Jackson area on December 16, Monday, December 16, code word happy on the north the north
(54:24):
location of Green Frog will get you two dollars off. Share the news with people. Let folks
know that that they can save some money and get some great, great food and great coffee.
Beyond that, Brad, I love you, buddy. Love you, too. See you guys. Listeners, we will
catch you next time.
Welcome. This is the Men Church Stuff Podcast.
(00:17):
This is the show where brothers-in-law DJ Culp and Brad Coleman talk about stuff from
our perspective as men. It's a show for anyone who wants to hear how Christians interact
with the world. And don't worry, we're real. We've grown up in church and we want to share
our experiences with you. We'll talk life stuff, church stuff, man stuff, and stuff
(00:39):
stuff. Here we go.
Greetings listeners here and there and everywhere all across the land. This is the Men Church
Stuff Podcast. Happy December. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas for sure. I'm
(00:59):
one of your hosts DJ Culp as always here with my beloved brother-in-law who I get to see
very soon, Brad Coleman. Brad, I'm so stoked, man. I can't wait to have you guys over.
I'm glad you get to see me too.
I'm excited. So when this drops, we'll see each other next week. But when it drops, right
(01:25):
now it's like three weeks away. But how you doing, man?
Pretty good this morning other than the frustration we've already talked about with stupid, stupid
things.
Yeah, listeners, Brad and I have already been, well, we've been solving the world's technological
problems and nobody knows.
(01:50):
You know, I mean, Brad.
I'll give you all some time, a few minutes and bank speak is 10. If you don't wait 10
minutes, try again.
Bank speak. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Windows of technology are very hard to navigate. So
(02:14):
listeners, we hope that you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving. And obviously we are well into
the full blown swing of Christmas season. Again, when this drops, I know, I know, sharing
the kids, they've got, they'll be in their last week of class. When does Tabitha get
(02:38):
out? Do you know?
So they go through the 20th. Yeah. Sharing the kids, they've got a half day on the 20th.
Yeah. It's really late.
And then they don't go back until, I know the kids go back on the second, I think.
Okay. Yeah. I think it's actually about right. I think that's, that's, that's a mirror of
what, what shares does. Yeah. So I'm done at the end of next week or when this drops,
(03:03):
I am done. And then we don't go back until the 7th of January. But, so-
I'm done when Jesus comes back.
Yeah. And that's exactly right. Yeah, you are. Yeah. When do, when, yeah, when do pastors
have time off? When they die.
(03:29):
So let's go ahead and do this at the top of the show. Coffee time, Brad. Let's get some
coffee time. Coffee time. Coffee time. I'll cue the music. So listeners, if you're regulars
of the show, you will know that we are in and have been for about a month and a half
now collaboration with the Green Frog Coffee Company. I love going to Green Frog. Man, I
(03:54):
love going to Green Frog. The people there are super nice. They've got, they've got wonderful
coffee, wonderful food. Today's coupon code, which will get you $2 off of your order, both
in store and online all day long. Our coupon code today is happy. Happy, happy, happy. Just
(04:15):
one happy though.
Yeah, just one happy.
Just one happy. It's not like $2 every time that you say the word happy.
DJ doesn't let me make the code or it would be in quotations, just one happy. Happy's
not working. It's just one happy.
It's like the stories of the Walmart employees, you know, that like write names on the cake.
(04:40):
Happy birthday, Kelsey, with a K and an IE. You know, like what are you talking about?
One of my favorite is and under that, write happy birthday.
So you want me to put all of this in there?
Under that write happy birthday.
(05:01):
So Green Frog Coffee Company, they are a coffee store here in Jackson, Tennessee, or actually
stores multiple, but we were in a collaboration with the North End. But they're built on Christian
values. They have been playing Christmas music since before Thanksgiving. They are my kind
of people. They have had a Christmas tree up in their store since before Thanksgiving.
(05:26):
Yet again, my kind of people. But they are. They're built on Christian values. Their owner,
their owner Tim is an outspoken Christian, and he wanted to have Great Coffee, which
they do, built on or a great coffee store built on Christian values. And their coffee
(05:46):
so good that a snowman would drink it.
Did you ask me how many Christmas trees I have up in my house?
How many Christmas trees do you have up in your house?
Zero.
None.
There will be. There will be at some point.
(06:06):
At some point. Yeah. So you shouldn't have like.
Probably before Christmas.
People are coming over. Get it up fast.
So our topic today related to the coupon code happy. Our topic today is happy.
(06:28):
The idea that we're that Brad and I are going to talk about is I think one certainly that's
not foreign to everybody. I should say foreign in concept, but I think that there's probably
a lot of people who have had experiences where what I'm about to say is, in fact, foreign
that Christians should be the most grateful people on the planet.
(06:53):
We should.
The operative word there is should.
So let's start. Let's start with this. Brad wanted to Brad's idea was to have some conversation
on little moments. So, Brad, what is a God moment? A little a little moment like the,
(07:15):
you know, the God drops that kind of stick out to you for for what he's done in your
life?
Well, and I think they're I think the more you look, the more you find them. And that's
one of the things that I want to encourage people to be looking for those God moments.
Lost a wonderful lady at church recently. She's gone home to be with the Lord. Cancer.
(07:39):
By the time they found it, it was stage four and took her real quick. And really her, her,
that's what she wanted. She didn't want people to have to suffer. She she was upset with
a lot of people at the end. And she was by far one of the few people that was at like
(08:01):
such a peace about just going home and being with Jesus. And so.
I think I can only hope to be that bold.
Yes. Oh, no, same, same. Seriously. So we had gone in for Thanksgiving and it's like
(08:22):
the next morning I get up and I get a message that she passed. And so I'm sad. Sure. I'm
grieving. She was actually worried about me. Last time I saw her right before we left,
you know, in the hospital, I heard she's like, you're going to be OK. This is the lady who
(08:42):
dying of cancer. And she's like, you're going to be OK, pastor. And I took a step back
toward her and I said, when you when you go home, I will cry. And she kind of like, like
had a little bit of an like, oh, kind of reaction. And I was like, I was like, but I will also
(09:02):
celebrate because I know that you are going to be with Jesus. And then, you know, she
just she she smiled and she was a she was a hugger. She hugged everybody that she could
get to. But like, you know, like every, you know, every Sunday she would hug me to say,
I'm praying for you. How are you doing? And if she could tell that there was something
(09:25):
on my mind, she'd go, what's going on? You know, and she she'd ask, you know, if something
was going had been going on with my mom or something, if I'd said that a few weeks before
she'd couple weeks later, she'd be like, how's your mom doing? OK, that sort it out.
I mean, like she was a prayer warrior. She's a she's a Barnabas. Yeah, it's wonderful.
(09:46):
So I lost this, you know, so we've lost this lady. So my heart's broken. And we were going
to go to Wal-Mart and get some stuff, but your sister had a craving for this chocolate
that we found that has no like artificial or processed sugar in it. And apparently for
(10:06):
people who eat sugar, it tastes awful. But for us, it tastes amazing. It's like anyway.
It's not commercial for that. That's exactly right. Yeah. After the show, you can tell
me what it is. Yeah. But she was like, I don't think Wal-Mart has it. But she's like, I bet
Kroger does because we were visiting family in the Kroger neck of the woods. And so we
(10:28):
went into Kroger and they did. We got some. And as we're coming out, some friends whom
we hadn't seen in a long time are walking up. We don't live around here. We're visiting
you know, 400 miles away from where we live. Right. And so here are these, you know, these
(10:49):
friends and greeted them and they're like, oh, we did a double take. I was like, that
couldn't be them. And he was like, I wasn't even thinking, you know, because being Thanksgiving,
I didn't see him in years. You know, he gave me a huge hug. This huge hug. And so much
(11:12):
more to the story. Your sister would get on to me probably for not sharing. Maybe I should.
So we ran into James, who is the guy who received my kidney. Oh, dude. Oh, wow. I've seen in
(11:33):
years. Yeah. And they're pregnant with number five. They say they're done this time. But
again, a small part of me with that story, you know, we're not a big part of their life,
(11:57):
which is fine. We're several hundred miles away. We weren't super close. Like I didn't
even know James before actually, like we went to church together. But you know, he gave
me this huge hug. And like Tammy and I just kept talking about it, about like how God
is working. She's like, one, you don't need the kidney, James. So God made you, made the
(12:25):
kidney super close because like we were like a super high match. They were like high 90s
match for the kidney. It was such a great matches. It was just a God thing all the way.
It was like, so God cleared, like he made you. So you give this kidney to James, puts
it on your heart. You give it to James. Effectively, you know, I hate to even say saving his life,
(12:53):
but I tend to downsize it. Call it what it is, dude. It's all right. And she said, and
then years later you fall from the ceiling and you land on your left side. Gosh. Oh my
God. You land on that side and they told you in the hospital, if you would have had a kidney
(13:13):
there, you most likely would have died before you got to the hospital. Because of the force
of the impact, it would have ruptured the kidney. And poisoned your body. Yeah. Oh my
gosh, dude. The internal bleeding, sepsis. This is like, the doctor went like, you not
having a kidney on that side saved your life. She's like, in here, she's like, so, but she's
(13:39):
like, but stay with me, stay with me. So Ms. Shirley, we know was praying for you and praying
for, to, that God would encourage you as she's living her final hours. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Right. He's worried about you. And we know as a prayer warrior that she's praying for
you, that God will encourage you after she goes. And we run into James who gives you
(14:04):
a big hug. And Shirley is a big, you know, she was the big hugger. So here I lose Ms.
Shirley and I lose those hugs, but I get this huge hug from James. And it was just like
right after I had found out this news. Because your sister was craving chocolate. Because
(14:26):
that's how God, you know, God just works all this. And I just, like, we're on the way back
and I'm kind of crying a little bit. And I was like, I didn't even know I needed that
hug that much. Right. Yeah. But again, like all of those things where I can look back
(14:46):
on a lot of them and go, oh, look, that was God, that was God, that was God. So I think
those are good too. But then in the moment, to be able to acknowledge, for us both to
acknowledge while God just set this up, I was like, we weren't looking for them, they
weren't looking for us. You know, we live so far apart, they've got their family, we've
(15:09):
got our family, we keep up with each other kind of on Facebook a little bit. But for
that to just all come together at the right time that I needed it the most. Yeah. And
it's like, oh, this is these God moments that everybody else outside may not seem like a
(15:32):
big deal. Right. But to me, it was monumental. Well, and I mean, that's the thing. So I think
Brad in just sort of the Western approach, right? Like the tracking all the way back
to our roots in Rome. Gun slingers and outlaws. Yeah, the Wild West. Yeah, Billy the Kid.
(15:58):
No, you know, tracking our roots all the way back to the way that Rome did it. In the Western
world, specifically now, I think far too often what our culture wants desperately and has
wanted desperately for a while to show is that if it's good for the masses, it's the
(16:24):
best. You know what I mean? Like, in other words, that small God moment means nothing
to anybody else that wasn't there. So clearly, you can't use that as a way to really explain
that God is a part of your life because that particular story doesn't apply to anybody
(16:48):
else except for you. And that's no good to the masses, which is complete and utter nonsense.
I mean, it's total bogus. And I'm not going to unpack it because I don't even know the
full breadth of it. But I know that's very intimately rooted in postmodernism. Having
said that, dude, that is an absolute God moment. Why? Because that's like God speaking to you
(17:14):
in his own way, right? I mean, Eric Metaxas, and I'm certainly not going to speak for someone
else, but I'll share the story that he shares, is that he had deep in his own heart this
basic imagery of what Christ would be. And as weird as it sounds, in his head, Christ
(17:39):
is a golden fish that he would catch if he were ice fishing. I have no idea why. Go look
it up. Listen or go look it up. But one night he had a dream where this was his, the dream
that he had, the story that he was bearing witness to. And there's something about dreams
(18:02):
that make us think, like, is this fake? Is this not? Is this just total bogus? Because
sometimes dreams are stupid. But there was something so surreal about it. And when he
woke up, he knew that that was God communicating to him. So yeah, dude, I mean, like, I love
that. That's awesome. Yeah, so listeners, you know, if you guys have had moments like
(18:29):
that, shoot, let us know. And if you don't want to let us know, talk to somebody about
it. Brad, for me, when you were saying, you know, like, this was something that you weren't
looking for. There was something, there was something to me that brought memories back
(18:57):
that I did not know until I until like I started making peanut brittle. Listeners, this is
something I actually haven't shared on the show. But I do make peanut brittle. I don't
really do it, you know, a ton because I mean, it's really time, time intensive. But I'm
(19:17):
fourth generation. And Brad, I don't know if you know, like the real backstory. But
I grew up with mom's parents, grandma, my granddaddy, I always grew up with anytime
that we would go to their house, she would always have peanut brittle. So I grew up that
grandma knowing that grandma had peanut brittle. So my dad's parents and my mom's parents,
(19:38):
they didn't they didn't really hang out hardly at all the very, very, very different types
of people. But I grew up with I grew up with kind of like a certain level of of kind of
like animosity with grandma and grandpa, my dad's parents. And when I started making peanut
(20:01):
brittle, when Sharon, I were in Oxford, Mississippi, the reason that I started doing it is out
of nowhere one day, you know, grandmama died in 2007. And it was about six years later,
five or five years later, six years later, that all of a sudden I realized, gosh, I hadn't
(20:24):
had peanut brittle a long time. I have no idea, Brad, no earthly idea why that popped
into my mind. But I asked mom, did she still have the recipe that grandmama had? So she
gave it to me. And I started making peanut brittle. And it became like the new thing.
This is what DJ does at, you know, at holidays. So I was talking to mom and dad about it.
(20:48):
And lo and behold, it's not grandmama that initially had the recipe. It was grandma.
Did you know this? No. Yeah. And and I was like, whoa, time out. How the heck did grandma
get the recipe from grandma and grandpa? Because like they are they were just completely different
families, different couples with pretty large, I'll say pretty large chasm in terms of beliefs
(21:13):
that would keep them separated. And I can't remember if it was mom or dad that told me
that one, I guess it was like a family reunion or something, but one very rare time where
both both of them, both sets of grandparents were together. Grandmama tried grandma's peanut
(21:37):
brittle. She had it. And she said, oh, my gosh, this is incredible. I want the recipe.
Grandma was happy to give it to her. When I learned that this stupid candy became something
that meant way more to me than anything else, because grandma and granddaddy were always
(22:00):
extremely devout Christians, like like big time. And I'm not talking about, you know,
just not just in routine. You could clearly tell when you were around grandma and granddaddy
versus grandma and grandpa who was in love with Jesus. I'll do it that way. And for this
(22:20):
candy to bring these two families together, all of a sudden made this experience for me
completely different. Every like I actually went back and revisited every memory that
I had of grandmama's peanut brittle, and it now meant something different to me. And that
(22:44):
little just that little nugget of information is something that that like I began to cherish.
Like this is this is this is seriously bread. This was like a God thing. And when I say
it was a God thing, not necessarily that like how do I say it? It may be not necessarily
(23:07):
in the same in the same frame of references like as as some people will call like a divine
appointment, kind of like kind of like you running into James, right? But this particular
this particular candy decades later became something way bigger than it than it originally
was. And whenever every single time, no joke, every single time, I can't not do this, that
(23:33):
I make peanut brittle. I always think this candy for a small fraction of time brought
my grandparents together. The division of the division of households was was relieved
for however long because of peanut brittle. And like and I love reflecting on that as
(24:02):
this is a this is the way that God began. If he hadn't already, God began to to mend
maybe not necessarily broken relationships, but mend differences. Right. So question here,
do you feel and it's a loaded question. Sorry, it's a leading question, but I'm going to
(24:24):
ask it anyways. Do you feel that Christians are the most grateful people on the planet?
I think it depends on the Christian. Right. Yeah. I've certainly met some that are. Yes.
Oh, dude, that's a great answer, because those people, they're golden. They are they are
(24:49):
they are people you don't forget. Yeah. So so outside. So other than other than this
lady that you were talking about, who's someone else? Who's someone else, Brad, that that
really sticks out in your mind? Who's who is someone? Oh, oh, I've got this. I've got
(25:14):
this brother in law. Yeah. There's a there was a lady in Ohio. She's she's gone ahead.
She's with the Lord now, too. After we left, she had passed. Her name was Miss Ruth. At
least that's what I was calling Miss Ruth in an electronic wheelchair. But just always
(25:44):
thankful, you know, low income, didn't have much, had lost her husband, you know. Always
cherry. Here's another one's got my with her. Right. So I'm in my office as a youth pastor
years ago. I'm literally prayer journaling. I'm very I'm very anxious. I'm really struggling.
(26:07):
And I'm literally just prayer journaling all of this. I'm just struggling. And she'd be
like, knock, knock, and just kind of stroll, you know, with their electronic wheelchair,
whatever, into my office. So I can't come in. Oh, hey, Miss Ruth. She looked at me and
(26:28):
she said, I'm really struggling today. And then she said, No, but you know what? I'm
just not gonna let myself struggle. Because, you know, I don't remember all she said, but
you know, God's so good. And I'm just I'm just not gonna go there. Yeah, like, you know,
(26:50):
she's like, I'm just, I'm just gonna praise the Lord. And she was she was just a joy.
She was she I love her. She was eccentric. She wasn't everybody's cup of tea. Yeah, right.
Very I love eccentric people is very just but loving eccentric could be loud sometimes
(27:11):
and just but just Yeah, just this. See me one of those most thankful, grateful people
and one of the most happy people that that I knew, whom whom God used at a time when
I'm sitting there really kind of falling down in a pity party for myself. And then prayer
(27:35):
of like, like, I'm struggling so much. And here's this lady who rolls in on this electric
wheelchair to my office and goes, Hey, I'm struggling. But you know what? I'm not gonna
let myself go. And I'm like, I know she didn't hear me because I'm not saying it out loud.
There's no way she can read what I wrote. I know, man. I know. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah,
she was just just another one of those, those, those people. And I mean, I, you know, I sit
(27:59):
here and make a make a list. Definitely some of like, I love it when when you have an old
saint of God, and they are just they smell like Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, like, an
odd way to put it. But yeah. I mean, I know what you mean. I always think of Mexican restaurant,
(28:27):
you go to a good Mexican restaurant, you come out, you smell like a Mexican restaurant.
It stinks. That's right. You get dirty laundry. There's no doubt that you have been. It's
right, man. You know, if you're on around a good campfire, you know, like...
Oh, dude, I love that smell. Burning leaves. I have to take a shower, you know, until I've
(28:49):
washed my beard, I can smell that campfire. Yep, I know. You know, so that's the way I
think about it. So like, they've been around Jesus so much that they've picked up, they
smell like Jesus. And this is that reflection of His love. And so I'm like, one, I wanna
be that. I wanna be more like that now, and I wanna be that... I want people to be like,
(29:14):
oh, you know, Brad loves the Lord, and man, he's just so grateful, and no matter what
he goes through, like, you can just tell he's got Jesus, and he loves Jesus, and he reflects
Jesus' love. I don't want to be old and bitter. Yeah. I've met people, and again, I'm not
(29:35):
trying to come from a place of judgment because, you know what? There's a lot of people that
deal with a lot of stuff when they're old. They've lost a lot. They are... A lot of them
are physically hurting. They're physically mourning the fact that they can't... Like,
when it takes everything that you have to just get up and go to the bathroom so you
(30:00):
can come back and sit down and be worn out. I get it. It's hard not to be cranky when
stuff like that happens. But I'm like, I want to be like the Miss Shirley's and the Miss
Roots who are struggling with a lot of things, but they're thankful for the things that they
(30:27):
have, and they're more concerned with everybody else than themselves.
Yeah.
So Miss Shirley was anxious. I'm not going to get into her story because she will...
Look, but she was anxious about the people she was leaving behind and how losing her
(30:47):
was going to affect them. Like, as she's in her final days, that was her biggest concern,
her biggest anxiety was trying to make sure all of these things were taken care of for
all of the people that she was leaving behind. Because when she would talk about actually
her going home, I mean, then she told me, she's like, you need to tell First Baptist
(31:12):
Murphy, and again, that's her church home. She's like, you need to tell them that I am
at peace and I'm ready to go because they need to know it. So I don't know who's out
there that may be listening who's not First Baptist Murphy. Miss Shirley was at peace
because she has Jesus and she was ready to go. She told... This is how wonderful this
(31:36):
lady is, right? When her doctor gave her the news, he was struggling. This is stage four
lung cancer. She held his hand.
And comforted him.
And comforted him.
That's so awesome. All right, so one of the things, Brad, that... And I want to trail
(31:59):
off, I want to spend a little bit of time here because I think it's so worth it. And
in my lifetime, I have not heard a lot of these conversations. And let me preface why.
I think specifically in our generation, so between people that are 30 and 40, when we
were kids, I think we began to see a huge cultural shift.
(32:26):
You know that neither one of us are in that range anymore, right?
30s and 40s?
Is it between 30 and 40?
Oh, I guess that's true. Yeah. I'm giving credit to the people that are...
30s and 40s?
40s, yes, 40s. But when we were kids, I think is when we really began to see this massive
cultural shift for hiring young folks and beginning to see sort of turning a blind eye
(32:56):
to the older generation and more experience. But there's something, Brad, that popped into
my mind while you were talking about the lady in the electric wheelchair. I hope, I pray
deep in my heart that when I'm a senior citizen, that I have the exact same approach to life.
(33:21):
I'm not embittered because yeah, you're right. The later in life that we get, the more I
can only assume that we're going to suffer because our bodies are deteriorating, people
are starting to die, friends that we had are starting to... You know what I mean? Just
the end of life stages. But in midst of all of that, why is it so important that we have
(33:44):
those people in our churches not to say, well, tell you what, we can be your nursing home
before you actually head to one, but rather like we need your life experience. I need
to know, I need to see in your eyes, I need to see in your life that like God is absolutely
(34:05):
faithful and this is the kind of joy that we can have when our life is way worse, at
least face value, our life is way worse than it used to be. And dude, those kinds of people,
they are priceless. So the person I was thinking of, and ironically, it's another woman, like
(34:30):
the other two people have been women, grandma and grandmama, but Rich Cottrell's mom, Rich,
shout out to Rich. I'm going to make sure that I get to, I tag you on the show, but
shout out to Rich. His mom, June, was central to basically me having a grandmother while
(34:59):
in college. Now, there is a moment of pure unadulterated wisdom that came out of her
mouth before Cher and I left for Mississippi. I'd already been accepted into their music
department, but Brad, I was going, I mean, Cher and I were having, it was just such a,
(35:22):
it's such a life shift. It was terrifying for both of us, but I was having massive,
I'm talking about massive amounts of doubt. Did we make the right decision? I mean, we
haven't left yet, so I can still back out. You know, I mean, we were doing that whole,
I was doing that whole dance and June took us out to dinner one night. And I mean, because
(35:45):
she was like a grandmother to me, I had no problem just kind of just, you know, emotionally
venting to her. And Cher, too. And I told her, like, I mean, you know, did we make the
right choice? And what if the references, you know, the professors that wrote references
(36:09):
for me, what if I let them down? And this is what she said. She worked as an administrative
assistant, a secretary, right? Administrative assistant for the Department of Education
at Murray State University. And she worked there for, I don't know, 20 years maybe. And
this is what she said, DJ, I have seen enough of these references and I've seen enough of,
(36:36):
you know, students that go from masters to doctorate to know that when a professor writes
a reference, their name is attached to it. They're not going to write a reference for
someone who's going to end up being a failure. You have like you have purpose. You have been
(36:58):
referenced for a reason. And I'm just sitting there thinking this is there is no rebuttal
that I can give to this. There's no argument that I can give to this. And it's her compassion.
It's her it was her experience. But it was also her love for the Lord that gave her this
(37:19):
just this, you know, shut up, you know, and like you like I love you. And I know that
the people that have referenced you like they are they are the holy shut up. It's a holy
shut up. That's right. That's exactly right. Listen, I love you. I'm going to say it's
(37:39):
real nasty, but shut up. But shut up. That's exactly right. Yeah. Knock it off. Go and
go and do what what you know you're supposed to do. Oh, man. Yeah. So I would agree, Brad,
that some Christians that it depends on the Christian. So one of the things that I think
(38:02):
we've got a little bit more time that we can we can unpack just a little bit more. One
of the things that I think our our church, our church culture does does too well is oftentimes
mimic the keeping up with the Joneses type of type of approach with culture. So from
(38:28):
that kind of like from that respect, how have you seen discontentment in Christians, not
necessarily in the church unless you want to go there. But but how have you seen discontentment
in the in Christians? I've experienced discontentment in myself. You know, my focus is is not where
(38:54):
it needs to be in Walmart. Yeah. That's TJ. I'm already telling myself. Yeah. Don't worry,
Brad. I'm here to throw you under the bus. Yeah. So yeah. So certainly in the man in
the mirror. Right. But let me switch it around just to say this real quick. We're talking
(39:19):
about the Miss Charlies and Miss Rose. We're not suggesting that people need to come in
and just act like they're OK, because that's that's not the reflection of these ladies.
No, you know, they're they're letting you know if there's something wrong when you pray
for it. Hey, oh, yeah, my roof's leaking. Whatever. Oh, that sucks. They're just making
(39:42):
the best of of everything. And and and they're focusing on the good. And I think that's where
I get myself in trouble. You know, talking to your dad years ago and I guess Tabby and
I were probably just just married and. Sharon, you know, my struggles and my anxiety is a
(40:11):
little bit more with your dad as we were getting to know each other. Yeah. And your dad held
up his hand and he was like, like he's he's like, Brad, we have all these things that
he moved his fingers, four fingers up and down. It's like we have all these things that
go good. And then put it on this one thing that goes bad. And we will focus on this one
(40:32):
thing that goes bad instead of these four things that go good. It's true. And and and
that's part of that is just the struggle with our humanity. So like we all have the tendency
to do that. That's right. But but I think the Miss Ruth's and and and the Miss Shirley's
and these others have learned to be better at focusing on the four that are going good
(41:03):
instead of the other. And so I think with people who who are discontent or myself, a
lot of times it's because we're focusing on on that percentage of things that are going
wrong that Walmart made me mad. Yep. And I have a choice. Right. One, I can take it personal
(41:25):
and it's not whatever. Brad Walmart is out to get you. Yeah. Yeah. It's just you, Brad.
You. That's right. You're on the list. You know, and I can, you know, and I can hurt
them by not going to Walmart. That's right. That's right. Because they're because they're
sticking to them, Brad. And I could let it ruin my whole day. Yeah. And there have been
(41:49):
times when I've done that. There's been times when I have let it ruin my whole day. Yeah,
I think that's where we get with the discontent is is, you know, life is full of sucky stuff.
Yes. Right. And every day is going to have its share of good and bad. Right. And some
(42:10):
days are going to be heavier on the bad than others. But yeah, I think I think with that
discontent, it's because we're looking at their own things. I also think that I'm going
to interject here real quick that I know for me and I'm overgeneralizing and saying, well,
(42:34):
certainly if me then everybody else too. But I think that misplaced righteous indignation
is something, you know, is something that that that we deal with. Like there really is a sense of entitlement.
If we have righteous indignation, I have been wronged. I didn't do anything to deserve this.
(42:54):
Brad, you did not do anything to Walmart to deserve their system, you know, canceling
my order, canceling your order. Walmart doesn't want you to get groceries. They don't want
you to have groceries. You don't want my money? Yeah. So I think like for discontentment,
(43:20):
in my experience, again, I'm going to put myself at the mercy of, you know, of the of
the of the jury. I think the discontentment is is that I'm not focused on the God moments
because I'm not looking at the four fingers. I'm always watching out for the thumb. And
(43:45):
it's almost like I know whether if it's not me, then somewhere else there there's going
to be something that that'll happen. And I'm going to have to deal with that now. And I'm
not I don't focus. I don't I don't sit and meditate and and and reflect on the ways on
(44:06):
all on all the ways that that God, in fact, has done more way more and above, you know.
And to that point, I'm going to I'm going to it really sounds like some low hanging fruit
here, Brad. But it's true. Listeners, I've I've done my I've done my time. I shouldn't
(44:32):
say it that way. I may edit that out. But like, I worked a long time in food service.
And there's nothing wrong with food service. So please don't hear me like bashing it because
like, I mean, if you're good at what you do, you'll make you'll make pretty good money.
But you I mean, you are you are you are thrust into into the the you know, the public the
(44:57):
public specter when when you work food service. And Brad, this is true. When I was finishing
my master's degree, I was a server at Applebee's. And every every other weekend ish, I would
work I would work a Sunday afternoon shift. I hated working Sundays. Now, for those of
(45:21):
you that are assuming I did not hate I did not hate I did not hate working on Sundays
because it didn't allow me to go to church. Actually, I got to go to church. Matter of
fact, that was one of the things that I told my boss is like, I mean, Applebee's wasn't
open for breakfast, so I didn't have to worry about having to miss church. But I explained
to him, look, I you know, I can't make it until this point in time, but I'm happy to
work the afternoon. I hated working Sundays, because the rudest, cheapest people that I
(45:49):
have ever served were Christians coming from church. And and and to that point, I don't
I don't want our listeners, I don't want our listeners to think everyone is like that.
Can I split a hair? Split a hair, dude. All right. They're they were church people.
(46:11):
They were church people. Yeah. Yeah. Because because Christian infers that your little
Christ that your Christ like. So they were not reflecting that I'm not saying they weren't
Christian. Right. I'm not saying that they weren't saved. Yeah, but they were not reflecting
that title. That's right. Yeah. And to that point, Brad, I am as guilty as they were of
(46:39):
thinking that I have the opportunity because I just let it slip out of my mind to turn
the Christian off. Right. You know, like, I I don't know, being being being snarky about
it. You know, I sat in church with my smile and I said some amens. I'm good. I get it.
I get an opportunity to just sit down at a meal and think that everything should be should
(47:03):
be catered to me. And, you know, like, I like it. Where do you want to go? So many things
connect. No, no, like so many so many things connecting. Yeah. All right. So so I think
about about the apostles arguing about who's greatest. Right. Yeah. Argue whose greatest,
whose greatest among them. And Jesus goes, if you want to be the greatest, you got to
(47:25):
be the servant or slave of everyone. Like I think sometimes in our humanity, we're like,
oh, so I got to put my time in down as the slave to everyone before I get up. You know,
what like Jesus saying, that's where it's at. I think that like serving everyone, Jesus,
who is God, who is God on the way to the cross, washes dirty disciples feet. I will never
(47:51):
get over that. And one of them was Judas. Yeah, he he he he sucked with Judas. Yes.
And he got down and he washed their feet. Right. So sometimes we get this humanity.
I think we go, I'm a child of the king. I'm a joint heir in the kingdom of heaven. I'm
(48:12):
a child of the king of kings, which is awesome. This is amazing. And like we should have that
focus. But what that means is not what it means in our carnal thinking. Right. If if
the king of England walks in, he expects for everybody to act like he's the king of England.
(48:36):
Right. Right. So so if his sons or their grandsons come in, like there's there's this expectation,
you should treat me like I'm the king. Right. And so I think if we're not careful, as as
Christians, as people who belong to Christ, who are joint heirs in the kingdom, who like
(48:57):
we can get that, well, that means you that I'm due. Right. When really what it means
is we ought to be washing more feet. Yeah. Lest we not forget that God, the father, showed
his showed his great love for us in this way, that while we were still sinners, Christ died
(49:20):
for us. Yeah. Like so. So to your point, Brad, you know, when the king of England walks in,
he does expect that everybody bows to him. Jesus had the opposite expectation. He didn't
walk around saying, excuse me, knees, please. Like, no, no, man. He just he just walked
with us. Yeah, that's that's yeah, that's legit. It's good stuff. So to that so to that
(49:44):
to that end, listener, I doubt very seriously that I that I really need to say this, but
I want to not as. How do I how do I word it, Brad? I will say this as as an encouragement
(50:05):
to pass along to people throughout the rest of the Christmas season and the you know,
the New Year holiday, because we always have a very, very unique perspective, a unique
window of opportunity to share joy in a way that that our culture is not willing to receive
if it's not Christmas time, if it's not the New Year's holiday. Be not not don't just
(50:31):
be the hands and feet of Jesus in the way that you serve in the various ways, but in
the way that you smile at people, if and when you get screwed over. It's just something
that happens. Big deal. So they so they overcooked your steak. I'm sorry, dude, I really am.
(50:52):
I if I was if I was the grill cook, I can't promise that I wouldn't have done that. But
if they overcooked, undercooked, whatever the case is, if something goes wrong, if you're
mad at Wal-Mart, if you're mad at Wal-Mart, you got to call into the help center. It is
not the person at the help center. That's right. Who canceled your order. How can you
(51:14):
show that you are content with Christ, even when other people continue to be stupid? I
do this one seriously is one of the reasons why I love this time of the year. I love showing
I love interacting. And to be quite honest, I'm almost ashamed that I try to I try to
(51:42):
do it more during Christmas than I do the rest of the year. But man, I love telling
people Merry Christmas and smiling. Because the hustle and the hustle can really take
over. I saw this happen one time we had a church event. And I overheard this. This lady
(52:04):
who had came who was a clerk at one of the stores because I know that because I seen
her checking out and she ran into this lady from her church. And she just lit up and she
went you go to church here. And she knew the person from checking her out in the store
(52:25):
so many times. That's awesome, dude. And she was excited to see her. Oh, you go to church
here. And that's that's that's who we want to be not the Oh, you go to church here. Yeah.
Yeah, I am the person that you know, that you cussed out. I am the person. Yeah, let's
not be those folks. Listeners, thank you so much for hanging out with us. We love you
(52:48):
guys. We really do. Brad and I love love moments that we get to spend with each other like
this. Brad, I'm so excited about playing Railbearing with you. I can't wait. Oh, and this is again,
like you were saying earlier, Brad, that that you know, this isn't really, you know, we're
not going to promote other different products. But there's another game called Ransom Notes
(53:14):
that we're going to play. Dude, it's so much fun. It's so much fun. But listeners, you
know what to do. Connect with us. I think I'm just going to delete our Twitter account
because I don't use it because it's stupid. I can't like I don't know. It's dumb. So it's
just going to accept. Yeah, like who cares? Yeah, I'm done. I'm done with it. But but
we'll do we'll we'll stay on Facebook and we'll stay on Instagram. And please connect
(53:38):
with us. You can email us at MenChurchStuff at Gmail. Please, guys, we really want your
interaction. We want to hear from you. We want to be able to connect with you. Brad
and I, we want to we want to hear your questions. We want to hear your thoughts. We want to
hear. We want to know it's you know, and again, we we love doing this, but we want to know
it's worth worth our time. Yeah, absolutely. That that that you know, we're not just I
(54:01):
mean, we can have these conversations whether we record it or not. That's exactly right.
And we do. Yeah. So to that point, yeah, connect with us. And again, remember, if you're in
the Jackson area on December 16, Monday, December 16, code word happy on the north the north
(54:24):
location of Green Frog will get you two dollars off. Share the news with people. Let folks
know that that they can save some money and get some great, great food and great coffee.
Beyond that, Brad, I love you, buddy. Love you, too. See you guys. Listeners, we will
catch you next time.
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