Do narcissistic people ever run out of supply or validation? Is this possible?
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I'm Lee & I've been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ). I've been in therapy since 2017 & It has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything. My platform is dedicated to giving you the WHYs behind the things that Narcissists do. I'm not here to diagnose ANYONE or to tell you to leave your relationship. I'm just trying to give you the information to make your own informed decisions
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Episode Transcript
So do narcissist ever, ever run out of narcissistic supply?
That sweet, sweet external validation?
Does it ever go away? Does a narcissist supply chamber
supply cup ever run out? That's what we talked about
today, y'all, Of course, if you're new here, my name is Lee
(00:22):
Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
And also we'll hop right into it.
Yeah, I actually did a live on this the other day about
narcissistic supply and how narcissistic people are always
seeking external validation. We need it.
The reason narcissists seek external validation is because
(00:43):
we need it. We need the external validation,
the external reassurance. We need to know from other
people that we matter, that we are valid, that we are
important. That's why the external
validation is the narcissistic supply, better known as it's so
important to narcissists. We absolutely have to have it,
(01:07):
right? It's kind of like like a plant,
right? Like a little, like a little a
plant, right? Plants need the sun to grow.
Well, most plants need the sun in order to grow through
photosynthesis. So just imagine that
narcissistic person in your life, the little narc.
The little narc Fern is a Fern, right?
The little narcissistic Fern. The sun is supply.
(01:31):
If the sun goes away, we wither and die, right?
At least most. At least that's what happens to
most plants, right? Like some plants just grow in
dark, damp, moist places, right?But they still need some sorts.
They, they have some sort of energy, external energy.
They need it from somewhere else.
(01:51):
But narcissistic people can be like plants where they get
supply from one main source, thesun, but they can also get it
other places. So do narcissists ever run out
of supply the pot? Yes, some of them absolutely
will. The possibility exists that
narcissists will run out of supply.
Like let's just say I'm young orwhatever as I'm my 20, I'm 25
(02:13):
years old, right? I'm a decently looking person.
I get supply for my looks, right?
I get, I get supplied for being externally, you know, for being
more conventionally. I'm not talking about me, but
like being conventionally attractive.
I get supply from that. I get validation.
People always telling me I'm beautiful or handsome or
whatever the case may be. As I get old, as I get older and
(02:34):
that starts to fade, I no longerget that type of supply.
So where else will I get it from, right?
I have to shift. Either I shift or adapt or I
perish. So I have to shift into finding
another way to get narcissistic supply, into finding another way
to getting that external validation, or to getting to get
(02:56):
something from elsewhere. So if I can't get it off of
looks, guess what else I might try to do?
I might try to get my money up, right?
Because if I get my money up, aswe all know, if I get my money
up, I can get external validation even if I have to pay
for it, right? Even if I have to pay for
external validation, I'm still going to get it.
(03:17):
That's why you see a lot of times I spoke to AI spoke to a
young lady about this the other day in a coaching session,
mental illness.net for those and, and she was saying like,
why does my narcissistic ex lovelike only fans and escorts and
prostitutes and stuff like that?I told them I was like this.
You get this easy way to get supply, easy way to get supply
or control. Do what I here's some money.
(03:38):
Do what I say, here's some money.
Validate me, here's some money, give me what I want, here's some
money. Make me feel better.
So you get a lot of narcissists that might not be as
conventionally attractive as they used to be, right?
There might not be a silver fox or a beautiful cougar, Right.
So they use money to get what they want.
They use money to get their validation.
They use money to manipulate people and control people and to
(04:01):
get people to like them to get, hey, I got enough money to take
us all on a trip. Hey, you're 65 years old.
I got money, though. OK.
Does that not happen? Yeah, it happens.
But this is part of the space that so many people fall into
right here. Like narcissistic people are
(04:21):
always seeking that external validation.
We need it. We need it so it so we, so we
don't perish. We have to shift to another form
of supply. And like supply doesn't.
And also I had to figure out, I feel like I need to say this as
well. Supply doesn't always have to be
a person. It doesn't always have to come
(04:42):
from people. You know, there are some people
you know, it's just some people just like or asexual.
You ever hear people being asexual?
Like I don't need this. Like I don't need, I don't need
to clap cheeks, right? I don't need it at all.
Like some narcissists don't needit from people.
They get it from different places.
You get some narcissists, they get external supply, they get
narcissistic supply from just making money and living in
(05:05):
silence, like living in luxury with nobody else around.
They live in the damn mountains they live in, like they're like
hermits in the mountains. They live in this, you know,
they, they live that type of lifestyle right there and
whatnot and they enjoy it. They love it.
And they get supplied because they've succeeded in life,
right? Their, their college degree,
they can always look at their college degree, their
associate's degree or whatever, bachelor's degree, master's
(05:26):
doctorate or whatever. They can look at that as supply.
That's validation. Look what I accomplished.
They can use their accomplishments as supply and
that never runs out, right? You go through that four years
or that two years or that four years or even getting some type
of certificate. Right now everybody goes to
college, even some getting some type of certificate like like
for like air, air duct tech or something like that.
(05:48):
I got AI, got a certificate theycan live off.
They can live off of that type of stuff right there and only
use it for themselves. They never post it online.
I feel like so many people get into their minds that all
narcissists are just alike. Like every single narcissist is
this grandiose type of person that needs, you know, to be rich
and famous. That's not true right there.
(06:09):
There are absolutely passive aggressive, introverted, covert
narcissists out here that will not make a sound.
You'll never see them right. They get their validation and
supply from their education, from doing different things,
from succeeding, from always moving around, from sometimes
just from their body. Just be you know, just from like
like this is say me for instance, like this is not I'm
40 years old. I don't look 40.
(06:30):
People tell me I don't look for you all the time like you don't
look 40. You cut your hair Yeah y'all, I
cut the hair. I know some people are asking
me. I'll get a close up close up
with the new camera. Y'all see cut the hair right and
cutting the hair people tell me I look younger like you shaved
out five years. You don't look 40, you look 30
something blah blah blah. I like cool, you know, I like
(06:51):
hearing it. So some people can they they
they just do they make massive changes in their life to get
supply is that it goes right there sometimes.
Did I do that? No, I did that because I'm
chasing my dreams. I'm I'm I cut my hair for a
multitude of different reasons. One of being I want to you know,
my passion. If y'all don't know I'm an
actor. I want to act and I want to get
(07:12):
more considered for more roles. The dreads kind of eliminate a
certain I can't be a cop with dreads, right?
The police officer I got Dre, I can't apply apply to be a cop
unless some undercover role, right?
So that doesn't help me out right there.
So that's one reason to cut thembecause I want to.
I want to chase my dreams and that's how some narcissists get
supplies. Well, they chase their dreams.
(07:32):
They're always moving. They're never stagnant, right?
For the narcissist that are always moving, they're never
stagnant. They're always doing something.
They will never run out of supply because it's always
shifting. They shift their minds of what
matters to them or what validation is to them.
The older you get, validation means something differently.
Sometimes it's narcissistic supply for an elderly narcissist
(07:55):
can be the family that they've created.
I'm not saying that they love and care about their family or
they treat their family well. It just can be like look at my
grandson, look at my granddaughter, look at my great,
great grandkids. I made that.
I created that. Look what I did.
All of this came from me. Nothing.
None of these people would be here without me.
So they use other people as validation in that instance, but
(08:16):
it's just because they had you or just because they procreated
and contributed to making you. You say it never.
It very rarely is something big that they've actually done.
They haven't treated you well their whole lives, but now they
want to take credit for it because you bring them supply,
you bring them validation you makes you make things make sense
for them, right? And even as a narcissist gets
(08:37):
older, I think a lot of people will resonate with this as you,
if you have a narcissist that you're with that is getting
older, that is getting on upper in age and whatnot, and you're
consistently trying to deal withthis person and just trying to
make sense of everything. What could help you out in the
short term and in the long term is understanding how their minds
work like because if they're getting supply from you, it's
(09:00):
going to run out, right? It's going to run low.
Not it might, might not run out,but it will run low and it
doesn't feel the same to them anymore right?
You can do you can do whatever you want to do.
You can bend over forward, you can bend over backwards.
You can do a cartwheel, a split dunk, whatever run for Sprint,
whatever you want to do. You can do all of that stuff
(09:22):
right there, right? And in the end, it won't be
enough for them because it doesn't feel the same because
it's coming from you. They're so accustomed to getting
it from you that it doesn't feelthe same anymore.
So that's why a lot of times you'll waste a lot of time,
effort, and energy with this person because they don't
appreciate what you do for them.Because now it's shifted from
appreciation of gratitude to entitlement.
(09:42):
And when they become entitled, it's very difficult to deal
with, right? It's very, very difficult to
deal with. It's very, very difficult to try
to make sense of it all. So in conclusion, there are some
narcissists that absolutely willrun out of supply.
They don't, they don't adjust, they don't shift, they don't do
anything. Like imagine an elderly
narcissist that loses everythingin their life.
(10:03):
Their, their, their partner divorces them, the kids don't
talk to them anymore. They lose their job, they don't
have any pension. They end up homeless on the
streets. They're and they're old.
And you see what I'm saying? They don't have anywhere.
There's no self-care. They're what is it?
Unhoused is, I guess the politically correct term,
unhoused and whatnot, right? That narcissist is struggling to
(10:26):
get supply. You know what I'm saying?
They unless you have like, I'm an old homeless unhoused man,
right? I'm not a looker.
I don't have anything to offer. I might find an unhoused woman
or another unhoused man if I'm like, you know, if I'm not
straight. So it just depends.
But like it's very difficult to get supply in there.
So those people can run out of supply and they will wither and
(10:48):
they'll just give up. They end up going into a huge
depression when they can't figure out another way to get
narcissistic supply and it doesn't help them out.
It doesn't help anybody actually.
So as you're continue to move forward and you understand this
person, like that type of personcould possibly try to get supply
from just getting money. Like somebody gave me, somebody
gave me $10 today. Supply, you know, I'm saying
(11:10):
they ship, they will find another way to get supply
accolades. Whatever it do, whatever the
case may be, they can. They will find a way.
Life finds a way. Shout out to Jeff Goldblum.
Jurassic World Dress. No, not dress world.
Jurassic Park, The lost world. Shout out to Jeff Goldblum.
Amazing line anyway y'all they have to make to the end of my
video if you haven't already in this video.
(11:31):
This video brought you some clarity.
If we bought you some understanding, make sure to hit
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(11:52):
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illness.net or courses that mental illness net come up.
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