October 14, 2025 • 17 mins
More resources at https://mentalhealness.net
How Long Does It Take To Leave a Narcissist? How many times do people normally go back to a narcissist or back to a toxic relationship?
🔗 Check out my courses "Understanding the 7 Stages of a Narcissistic Relationship" and "Finding Your W.H.Y!" at https://mentalhealness.net
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I'm Lee & I've been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ). I've been in therapy since 2017 & It has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything. My platform is dedicated to giving you the WHYs behind the things that Narcissists do. I'm not here to diagnose ANYONE or to tell you to leave your relationship. I'm just trying to give you the information to make your own informed decisions
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So how long or how many times does it take to leave a
narcissist or to leave an abusive, toxic relationship?
That's what we're talking about today.
Yeah. That's the question that we're
hammering away at this morning because I get, I get this
question a lot, actually get a variation, this exact question
(00:21):
or a variation of it. A lot of times in my comment
section, a lot of people ask me like, well, Lee, how long does
it take to leave? I've left three times.
Lee, how long does it take to leave?
I've left eight times. How long does it take to leave?
I left 10 times. I was like, first of all, it
takes as long as it takes. But statistically they've done,
(00:42):
they yeah, they've done, they'vecalculated, they've done numbers
on this. It takes on average, a survivor
of domestic violence or toxic relationship dynamics takes them
seven times to leave 7/7. It takes them seven times to get
on up out of there for good, right?
(01:04):
And again, that's the average and on average of seven times.
So y'all know how we get averages?
Even when I gave y'all the the comments I gave you a way to get
to the average. I said three times, I said 8
times, I said 10 times in total.That's 21 times.
You divide that 21 by three, youget an average of room 7 seven
(01:29):
times so that it takes every look and that seven times can be
stretched over a can be stretched, it can be stretched
out. It does not have to be today,
tomorrow, 7 times and the same day.
It can be 7 * / a course of years, decades even, right?
And again, for some people it's one and done.
(01:50):
For some people, it's some people it's one and done.
You, you, you lead that first time you had you, you've had
enough. You like, you know what I'm out
of here, right? And for some people it might
take you 13 * 13 + 1 is 14 / 2 is 7.
So I know, I know most people want to be on the average on, on
(02:14):
the lower end, right? You don't want to be at, you
don't want, you don't want to bethe one of the ones that raise
the average, right? Because it takes some people a
very, very long time to get out of this types of relationship.
Like some people it takes them avery long time.
Like like Miss Katz said, it took me about four times to
leave. I left three times and came
back. I left the 4th time and never
(02:36):
returned. It is absolutely horrifying to
live under the roof of a narcissist.
Yeah, it can. It absolutely can be.
You know, it absolutely can be. And you're welcome.
It absolutely can be like So Miss Katz said it took her seven
times. Our next person, Megan Rose says
I have stayed away for three years, but I have been planning
throughout the five years while I was in the touch relationship
to get out, especially once he put his hands on me.
(02:57):
So she was planning on leaving for a while.
So that's seven times right there, right?
Can take a long time or it couldtake one good time, right?
It could take a, we could take one good concentrated effort in
order to make it happen. One good concentrated effort.
And sometimes that will that will be all that is needed right
(03:18):
there. You know what I mean.
What's going on April morning? Sometimes your body leaves
before your heart and your mind Be strong.
It took me one time because the mental abuse was that bad. 25
year friendship going after two years of dating.
Good riddance. Oh I'm I can do a longer video
on it right there. You put me.
(03:39):
I was in a friend zone for 25 years.
You'll get a very toxic, narcissistic person if they feel
like you looked over them for two 2 1/2 decades, they got
something for you. They got something mixed up nice
and they they got some mixed up nice and nice and warm for you.
And it ain't a pot of grits. It's not a pot of grits.
(04:00):
So like she just said, took her two years overtime.
It took somebody, it can take somebody else one time.
Oh, after 20 years, after 30 years, I've had people tell me,
Lee, I've never tried to leave before.
I've been married for 40 years, 40.
It's hard. Yeah, 40 years.
(04:21):
They got kids, grandkids, great grandkids.
They Yeah, their lives are so intertwined.
Even if they get divorced, they're still be, they'll still
be connected. They got great grandkids.
They've created generations. You said that they've created
generations of people. They've created generations of
their family. They're going to be around for a
while. You know what I mean?
That's the way it goes. But that's how it goes in a lot
(04:43):
of these relationship dynamics. Yep, the friend turned lover is
the worst. Yes, especially if they're
narcissistic because how dare you put me in a friend zone for
25 years. You overlooked me for 25 years
and thank you. And you have the audacity to
think that I'm going to treat you good.
Really. That's serious.
(05:07):
That's the mindset did you get with some toxic narcissistic
people right there. So I, I feel like it takes as
long as it takes. Don't rush the process.
If you're not ready to leave. Sometimes you just not ready to
leave. So sometimes if you're not ready
to leave and then you leave onlythe knowing that you're pretty
much going to go back. That means that that
(05:28):
narcissistic person is not goingto take you seriously.
They're not going to take you seriously about leaving or, or
they do. And when you come back, they
treat you worse because they think you have one foot out the
door right now because you've left before.
I feel like you have one foot out the door.
So I don't trust that you're going to be here with me.
So I'm going to treat you as such.
I'm going to treat you like you're going.
(05:50):
I'm going to treat you like the possibility stands that you can
leave me at any moment because you can't.
You've left before, so I'm goingto treat you like I'm going to
have one foot in, one foot out the door.
That's what happens to a lot of people like once you leave and
if you do go back, they treat you differently yes, can
sometimes they treat you good atfirst when you go back yes, some
(06:10):
of them can treat you well if you go back because.
But think about it like this. Anybody can behave for a short
period of time. Anybody can be on their best
behavior for a short period of time, right.
So that's what I'm saying Sometimes when you go back it,
it could be good for a little while, but eventually it's going
(06:32):
to go back to what made you wantto leave in the 1st place.
Eventually it's going to make you want to stay.
Take a step back and just realize that you should have
left and not came back. That's what ends up happening in
a lot of these relationship dynamics.
Right, right. You can go back and they, they
might treat you good. They might beg you to come back.
Please, they'll be like please, please, lady of lust, please,
(06:52):
please come back. I treat you, I treat you better
than I ever have. Watch please, please, please,
and you go back. They treat you good for a little
while and then they right back to the same behaviors that made
you want to leave in the 1st place.
You see what I'm saying? That's what be going on, what's
going on, what's going to go. But this what ends up going this
what ends up happening to so many people.
Don't feel ashamed because so many people go through it.
(07:13):
I promise you. And also being realistic that
shame sometimes can make you feel can make you stay longer
because sometimes you stay long.You sometimes this when I'm
doing my one on ones over Zoom, right.
I talked to so many people who have so much shame.
They stayed, right? That's so much shame.
(07:34):
And what had happened and what had went down.
They, they, they decided to stayin the relationship because of
it. They were like, well, Lee, I've
already been with this person for 30 years.
It just looks stupid if I left now.
I just feel silly. If I left now, Wow, I gave him
30 years. Why would I leave?
I gave him 40 years. I'll give him five years.
It doesn't have to be that loan.I gave him five years.
I'll give him 10 years. Why would I leave now?
We have kids, we bought businesses, we've done this,
we've done that. Like I just feel weird for
(07:56):
leaving right now. Why would I leave right now?
I don't have a reason to leave right now.
I don't, I don't feel right. Leave it and so many people go
through that right there. I promise you that's what ends
up happening to so many people. That's what ends up going on in
the minds of so many people thatare dealing with these toxic,
abusive people right, yes. What goes up must come down like
the stock market. That's what ends up happening
right there, y'all and then you so it's so right, right there,
(08:17):
the sunk cause fallacy when so many people feel like you got so
much time already spent in it. Well, I already got some.
I already got five years in it. I can give them a little bit
more time. I don't want to waste.
I don't want to feel like I wasted 30 years.
I'm going to stay, you know, I don't want to feel like I wasted
354010 too. I don't Yeah, some people I I
just feel like it's been 3 months.
I don't want to waste my three months Like what?
(08:39):
3 months? Like what?
You don't want to waste 3 bucks?Like, come on now.
What are we talking about 3 bucks?
What's going on? Three, yeah.
And that just shows you they know how to act, right?
They just don't want to. That's absolutely true.
Buxton Mermaid. That's absolutely true.
If you leave them, right? If you want to leave a
narcissistic person or just an abusive person overall, right?
(09:01):
And they all of a sudden switch to being on their best behavior.
Like if they switched, if they automatically switch to being on
their best behavior without you having to tell them what to do,
that does go to show you that they could have been behaving
the entire time. They just chose not to.
It goes to show you that they could have been acting right the
(09:23):
entire time. They just chose not to.
They were just treating you badly because they wanted to,
right? And that should give you more.
That should actually give you more reason to leave because
they know how to behave. They just been choosing not to
be. They just been choosing the
opposite way. They've been choosing the wrong
way because of it. You see what I'm saying It says
(09:44):
I had my narcissist the husband served divorce papers in 20 in
November 24 and he has drug it out not producing documents has
control of all finances. Yeah, there's because they heal
me. How dare you.
How dare you serve me divorce papers when I control the
finances. They're not going to make it
easy, yo. Most of them won't make it easy
on you. Some of them just like
disappear, but most of them won't make it easy on you.
(10:05):
So even if you're ready to leave, right, even if you're
ready to leave you, even if you made that decision, then it only
takes you one time to leave. They don't want you to leave.
They don't make it. They're going to make it very
difficult. They're going to make it, see.
They're going to make it seem like it's easier to just stay
with me than it is to leave. They're going to make you make
the decision right there. It's easier to stay with me in
this relationship than it would be to leave and try to find
(10:26):
somebody else. I'm going to make your life a
living hell, so you might as well.
I'm going. If you leave me, I'm going to
make your life a living hell where you don't know what's
coming. But if you stay with me, I'm
going to make your life is your life is already a living hell.
Then at least you can predict mybehaviors a little bit.
At least you know what you're going to get.
They want to exhaust you into giving up, into giving in,
(10:47):
Right? I'm so sorry you're going
through that. Yeah, I'm sorry too.
It is tough. Me leaving and choosing myself
over being abused, constantly humiliated demeanor, all kinds
of stuff. Cost me my freedom.
Get you locked up. Oh, no, that can happen too.
I'm just telling you so many people about this is not me
trying to say anything negative about you to go.
I promise. But so many people in these
(11:08):
relationships, you end up losingyourself and you end up doing
things that you might not have ever done before in these
relationships to survive or to thrive or whatever the case may
be. And that's what ends up going
on. You know, you leave, you try to
survive, and then they get you locked up.
You, you, you, you react to something that they have done
and they press charges. And you might look, the crazy
(11:28):
thing about it is you might havebeen able to press charges so
many times before in the past, but you chose not to or they
talked you out of it. And then as soon as the shoe is
on the other foot, they try to get your ass locked the hell up.
They try to get you locked up. I leave.
I have to leave in secret. The plan?
Have a support. If you don't, if you don't go.
If you don't, you got to join Lead support group.
(11:48):
Oh, yay. Are you my support group?
You might have a different name on here.
I do that. Yeah, I do have a support group.
You can find mysupportgroup@mentalillness.net.
I have to scroll across the bottom of the screen.
Mental illness.net. We do private Zoom meetings like
we're doing right now. A bunch of people, we do private
zoom meetings every week at least once or twice a week.
Y'all private zoom meetings thatare not recorded.
(12:10):
You can get your questions answered.
You can meet people that are going through the exact same
thing you're going through literally the mental illness
group, the mental illness. He's got the mental healer show.
I have one on Facebook too. But like I said, I have AI have
a support group that's off of Facebook where we do private
zoom meetings and all kinds of stuff.
You get my e-mail address, talk to me personally.
We we do a lot of different things.
Y'all in the group. It's a great group.
(12:31):
So you might be in the group too.
You got a different name. I can't see a picture.
See, there you go right there. Oh, the mental illness podcast.
Thank you, April. I've recorded 4 episodes for the
mental illness podcast. Y'all, I've recorded 4 episodes
for the mental illness podcast. Actually, this channel, the
channel name is going to change from mental illness to the
mental illness podcast on YouTube.
(12:52):
So you're going to see the name switch up here pretty soon as
well, y'all. So the name is going to change
because I'm starting to do more interviews and share more
people's stories, people about how people are leaving the
touch, relationship dynamics, y'all like I'm, how can I do it
right here? I'm going to share my screen
with y'all right here so I can y'all this right here.
(13:12):
Y'all see this right here. This is literally the interviews
I've done so far. This is Thomas I talked to
Luella, Natalie and Taylor all sharing their stories about
survivor surviving and thriving.Talmage is a a coach.
He the amazing creator. Louella survived the toxic
relationship, very violent toxicrelationship.
(13:34):
Natalie's story is wild. Taylor's story is you'll hear
Taylor's story. But what the hell.
So the mental illness podcast. I've already recorded 4 episodes
y'all, I'm just about to my editor is about to start working
on them to get them out. I haven't I haven't put I
haven't put it out yet. It says not not not Najiba.
I haven't put it out yet, but itis coming.
It is coming soon. Just so y'all know the mental on
(13:56):
this podcast is dropping soon. Just be ready for it.
If you want to. If you want to be on the podcast
and get interviewed, I'm going to drop the I can drop the link
right here in the comments righthere.
Y'all, I'll drop the link right here in the comments, so you get
like I say, so you can apply forit tell you feel your story out
on here and whatnot and then, like I say, it looks like this.
(14:17):
You can feel your story out and I'll probably reach out to you
in a little bit. Like I haven't went through them
and I haven't went through them in a bit.
I had like I had 115 of them come through the last few days.
I'm going through them now. I saw somebody name come up
here, Stevie. I saw.
I see. I think you emailed me too.
I'll get back with you. I'll get up with you.
Yeah, check it out. Y'all gonna be on the Mitchell
(14:38):
Hill this podcast. It's not just about narcissistic
abuse, though. Y'all just being realistic.
It's not just about narcissisticabuse.
It's going to be about you and Share your story about dealing
with your own mental health, your own triumphs in life.
Like how much isn't talking about narcissistic abuse.
He's talking about toxic work environments.
He's talking about his own storyof having suicidal ideations and
(15:00):
surviving it and thriving after that he did with his own mental
health and depression and thingslike that.
So it's not just about narcissism.
Now, there's survivor stories onthere.
The other three people I talked to are telling survivor stories,
survivor surviving thriving stories, right, surviving
thriving stories. So we're going to do that right
there. I would really love to.
(15:20):
I'm in NC Monarch weird case. My my is an art weird case.
You in North Carolina. I'm doing hey, I'm I'm doing
them in in I'll I'm if you're inNorth Carolina, I'm doing in
person interviews here starting pretty soon in North Carolina in
in Hillsboro. I know I don't know what part
you're in. I'm in like Durham, Hillsborough
and whatnot. So if you're in that area, just
(15:42):
I'm doing in person stuff too. I got a camera, I got my lights,
I got everything you did. I was just ready to go.
I just had to get it, had to getit moving and whatnot.
Love that you're doing this. Yes, my story is crazy.
Appreciate it, appreciate it, appreciate y'all.
That's what I'm doing. I just want I want more because
I've been talking about narcissism for five years and
I've helped is it helped me reach millions of people.
(16:04):
But I think the next step, the next iteration of mental illness
is covering all mental health dynamics.
You know what I mean? Depression, anxiety, ADHD,
autism, borderline sociopath, sociopathy, psychopathy, any
type of mental health, bipolar, any type of mental health issue
and whatnot. Mental health struggle, not
(16:26):
issues, struggle. That's what I'm here for talk
about as well. Or you can tell you can Share
your story about surviving a toxic relationship dynamic.
It's all about it's about everything, you know, it's all
about everything and whatnot. So that's what's going to be
happening y'all. So Mitchell, the podcast is
coming soon. Anyway, I do need to hop off
here. Today's my recording day.
(16:47):
I have a I have a one-on-one. I got to hop on in the next few
minutes. But today's my recording day.
I have a bunch of videos I have to get recorded for my from
actually just for my podcast, mychannel and stuff like that.
So again, y'all thank y'all for tuning in today, like I said,
mental illness.net and scrollingacross the bottom of the screen,
mental illness.net for all things Lee hammock, everything
(17:07):
you want to know about Lee, everything you can find about
Lee mental illness.net. And yeah, shoot me an e-mail,
like shoot me an e-mail mentalillness.net.
Y'all be safe, take care of yourselves, take care of each
other, and as always, y'all, as always, the hill, this is out
peace. I'm super grateful for all of
y'all too. Y'all gratitude.
So how long or how many times does it take to leave a
narcissist or to leave an abusive, toxic relationship?
That's what we're talking about today.
Yeah. That's the question that we're
hammering away at this morning because I get, I get this
question a lot, actually get a variation, this exact question
(00:21):
or a variation of it. A lot of times in my comment
section, a lot of people ask me like, well, Lee, how long does
it take to leave? I've left three times.
Lee, how long does it take to leave?
I've left eight times. How long does it take to leave?
I left 10 times. I was like, first of all, it
takes as long as it takes. But statistically they've done,
(00:42):
they yeah, they've done, they'vecalculated, they've done numbers
on this. It takes on average, a survivor
of domestic violence or toxic relationship dynamics takes them
seven times to leave 7/7. It takes them seven times to get
on up out of there for good, right?
(01:04):
And again, that's the average and on average of seven times.
So y'all know how we get averages?
Even when I gave y'all the the comments I gave you a way to get
to the average. I said three times, I said 8
times, I said 10 times in total.That's 21 times.
You divide that 21 by three, youget an average of room 7 seven
(01:29):
times so that it takes every look and that seven times can be
stretched over a can be stretched, it can be stretched
out. It does not have to be today,
tomorrow, 7 times and the same day.
It can be 7 * / a course of years, decades even, right?
And again, for some people it's one and done.
(01:50):
For some people, it's some people it's one and done.
You, you, you lead that first time you had you, you've had
enough. You like, you know what I'm out
of here, right? And for some people it might
take you 13 * 13 + 1 is 14 / 2 is 7.
So I know, I know most people want to be on the average on, on
(02:14):
the lower end, right? You don't want to be at, you
don't want, you don't want to bethe one of the ones that raise
the average, right? Because it takes some people a
very, very long time to get out of this types of relationship.
Like some people it takes them avery long time.
Like like Miss Katz said, it took me about four times to
leave. I left three times and came
back. I left the 4th time and never
(02:36):
returned. It is absolutely horrifying to
live under the roof of a narcissist.
Yeah, it can. It absolutely can be.
You know, it absolutely can be. And you're welcome.
It absolutely can be like So Miss Katz said it took her seven
times. Our next person, Megan Rose says
I have stayed away for three years, but I have been planning
throughout the five years while I was in the touch relationship
to get out, especially once he put his hands on me.
(02:57):
So she was planning on leaving for a while.
So that's seven times right there, right?
Can take a long time or it couldtake one good time, right?
It could take a, we could take one good concentrated effort in
order to make it happen. One good concentrated effort.
And sometimes that will that will be all that is needed right
(03:18):
there. You know what I mean.
What's going on April morning? Sometimes your body leaves
before your heart and your mind Be strong.
It took me one time because the mental abuse was that bad. 25
year friendship going after two years of dating.
Good riddance. Oh I'm I can do a longer video
on it right there. You put me.
(03:39):
I was in a friend zone for 25 years.
You'll get a very toxic, narcissistic person if they feel
like you looked over them for two 2 1/2 decades, they got
something for you. They got something mixed up nice
and they they got some mixed up nice and nice and warm for you.
And it ain't a pot of grits. It's not a pot of grits.
(04:00):
So like she just said, took her two years overtime.
It took somebody, it can take somebody else one time.
Oh, after 20 years, after 30 years, I've had people tell me,
Lee, I've never tried to leave before.
I've been married for 40 years, 40.
It's hard. Yeah, 40 years.
(04:21):
They got kids, grandkids, great grandkids.
They Yeah, their lives are so intertwined.
Even if they get divorced, they're still be, they'll still
be connected. They got great grandkids.
They've created generations. You said that they've created
generations of people. They've created generations of
their family. They're going to be around for a
while. You know what I mean?
That's the way it goes. But that's how it goes in a lot
(04:43):
of these relationship dynamics. Yep, the friend turned lover is
the worst. Yes, especially if they're
narcissistic because how dare you put me in a friend zone for
25 years. You overlooked me for 25 years
and thank you. And you have the audacity to
think that I'm going to treat you good.
Really. That's serious.
(05:07):
That's the mindset did you get with some toxic narcissistic
people right there. So I, I feel like it takes as
long as it takes. Don't rush the process.
If you're not ready to leave. Sometimes you just not ready to
leave. So sometimes if you're not ready
to leave and then you leave onlythe knowing that you're pretty
much going to go back. That means that that
(05:28):
narcissistic person is not goingto take you seriously.
They're not going to take you seriously about leaving or, or
they do. And when you come back, they
treat you worse because they think you have one foot out the
door right now because you've left before.
I feel like you have one foot out the door.
So I don't trust that you're going to be here with me.
So I'm going to treat you as such.
I'm going to treat you like you're going.
(05:50):
I'm going to treat you like the possibility stands that you can
leave me at any moment because you can't.
You've left before, so I'm goingto treat you like I'm going to
have one foot in, one foot out the door.
That's what happens to a lot of people like once you leave and
if you do go back, they treat you differently yes, can
sometimes they treat you good atfirst when you go back yes, some
(06:10):
of them can treat you well if you go back because.
But think about it like this. Anybody can behave for a short
period of time. Anybody can be on their best
behavior for a short period of time, right.
So that's what I'm saying Sometimes when you go back it,
it could be good for a little while, but eventually it's going
(06:32):
to go back to what made you wantto leave in the 1st place.
Eventually it's going to make you want to stay.
Take a step back and just realize that you should have
left and not came back. That's what ends up happening in
a lot of these relationship dynamics.
Right, right. You can go back and they, they
might treat you good. They might beg you to come back.
Please, they'll be like please, please, lady of lust, please,
(06:52):
please come back. I treat you, I treat you better
than I ever have. Watch please, please, please,
and you go back. They treat you good for a little
while and then they right back to the same behaviors that made
you want to leave in the 1st place.
You see what I'm saying? That's what be going on, what's
going on, what's going to go. But this what ends up going this
what ends up happening to so many people.
Don't feel ashamed because so many people go through it.
(07:13):
I promise you. And also being realistic that
shame sometimes can make you feel can make you stay longer
because sometimes you stay long.You sometimes this when I'm
doing my one on ones over Zoom, right.
I talked to so many people who have so much shame.
They stayed, right? That's so much shame.
(07:34):
And what had happened and what had went down.
They, they, they decided to stayin the relationship because of
it. They were like, well, Lee, I've
already been with this person for 30 years.
It just looks stupid if I left now.
I just feel silly. If I left now, Wow, I gave him
30 years. Why would I leave?
I gave him 40 years. I'll give him five years.
It doesn't have to be that loan.I gave him five years.
I'll give him 10 years. Why would I leave now?
We have kids, we bought businesses, we've done this,
we've done that. Like I just feel weird for
(07:56):
leaving right now. Why would I leave right now?
I don't have a reason to leave right now.
I don't, I don't feel right. Leave it and so many people go
through that right there. I promise you that's what ends
up happening to so many people. That's what ends up going on in
the minds of so many people thatare dealing with these toxic,
abusive people right, yes. What goes up must come down like
the stock market. That's what ends up happening
right there, y'all and then you so it's so right, right there,
(08:17):
the sunk cause fallacy when so many people feel like you got so
much time already spent in it. Well, I already got some.
I already got five years in it. I can give them a little bit
more time. I don't want to waste.
I don't want to feel like I wasted 30 years.
I'm going to stay, you know, I don't want to feel like I wasted
354010 too. I don't Yeah, some people I I
just feel like it's been 3 months.
I don't want to waste my three months Like what?
(08:39):
3 months? Like what?
You don't want to waste 3 bucks?Like, come on now.
What are we talking about 3 bucks?
What's going on? Three, yeah.
And that just shows you they know how to act, right?
They just don't want to. That's absolutely true.
Buxton Mermaid. That's absolutely true.
If you leave them, right? If you want to leave a
narcissistic person or just an abusive person overall, right?
(09:01):
And they all of a sudden switch to being on their best behavior.
Like if they switched, if they automatically switch to being on
their best behavior without you having to tell them what to do,
that does go to show you that they could have been behaving
the entire time. They just chose not to.
It goes to show you that they could have been acting right the
(09:23):
entire time. They just chose not to.
They were just treating you badly because they wanted to,
right? And that should give you more.
That should actually give you more reason to leave because
they know how to behave. They just been choosing not to
be. They just been choosing the
opposite way. They've been choosing the wrong
way because of it. You see what I'm saying It says
(09:44):
I had my narcissist the husband served divorce papers in 20 in
November 24 and he has drug it out not producing documents has
control of all finances. Yeah, there's because they heal
me. How dare you.
How dare you serve me divorce papers when I control the
finances. They're not going to make it
easy, yo. Most of them won't make it easy
on you. Some of them just like
disappear, but most of them won't make it easy on you.
(10:05):
So even if you're ready to leave, right, even if you're
ready to leave you, even if you made that decision, then it only
takes you one time to leave. They don't want you to leave.
They don't make it. They're going to make it very
difficult. They're going to make it, see.
They're going to make it seem like it's easier to just stay
with me than it is to leave. They're going to make you make
the decision right there. It's easier to stay with me in
this relationship than it would be to leave and try to find
(10:26):
somebody else. I'm going to make your life a
living hell, so you might as well.
I'm going. If you leave me, I'm going to
make your life a living hell where you don't know what's
coming. But if you stay with me, I'm
going to make your life is your life is already a living hell.
Then at least you can predict mybehaviors a little bit.
At least you know what you're going to get.
They want to exhaust you into giving up, into giving in,
(10:47):
Right? I'm so sorry you're going
through that. Yeah, I'm sorry too.
It is tough. Me leaving and choosing myself
over being abused, constantly humiliated demeanor, all kinds
of stuff. Cost me my freedom.
Get you locked up. Oh, no, that can happen too.
I'm just telling you so many people about this is not me
trying to say anything negative about you to go.
I promise. But so many people in these
(11:08):
relationships, you end up losingyourself and you end up doing
things that you might not have ever done before in these
relationships to survive or to thrive or whatever the case may
be. And that's what ends up going
on. You know, you leave, you try to
survive, and then they get you locked up.
You, you, you, you react to something that they have done
and they press charges. And you might look, the crazy
(11:28):
thing about it is you might havebeen able to press charges so
many times before in the past, but you chose not to or they
talked you out of it. And then as soon as the shoe is
on the other foot, they try to get your ass locked the hell up.
They try to get you locked up. I leave.
I have to leave in secret. The plan?
Have a support. If you don't, if you don't go.
If you don't, you got to join Lead support group.
(11:48):
Oh, yay. Are you my support group?
You might have a different name on here.
I do that. Yeah, I do have a support group.
You can find mysupportgroup@mentalillness.net.
I have to scroll across the bottom of the screen.
Mental illness.net. We do private Zoom meetings like
we're doing right now. A bunch of people, we do private
zoom meetings every week at least once or twice a week.
Y'all private zoom meetings thatare not recorded.
(12:10):
You can get your questions answered.
You can meet people that are going through the exact same
thing you're going through literally the mental illness
group, the mental illness. He's got the mental healer show.
I have one on Facebook too. But like I said, I have AI have
a support group that's off of Facebook where we do private
zoom meetings and all kinds of stuff.
You get my e-mail address, talk to me personally.
We we do a lot of different things.
Y'all in the group. It's a great group.
(12:31):
So you might be in the group too.
You got a different name. I can't see a picture.
See, there you go right there. Oh, the mental illness podcast.
Thank you, April. I've recorded 4 episodes for the
mental illness podcast. Y'all, I've recorded 4 episodes
for the mental illness podcast. Actually, this channel, the
channel name is going to change from mental illness to the
mental illness podcast on YouTube.
(12:52):
So you're going to see the name switch up here pretty soon as
well, y'all. So the name is going to change
because I'm starting to do more interviews and share more
people's stories, people about how people are leaving the
touch, relationship dynamics, y'all like I'm, how can I do it
right here? I'm going to share my screen
with y'all right here so I can y'all this right here.
(13:12):
Y'all see this right here. This is literally the interviews
I've done so far. This is Thomas I talked to
Luella, Natalie and Taylor all sharing their stories about
survivor surviving and thriving.Talmage is a a coach.
He the amazing creator. Louella survived the toxic
relationship, very violent toxicrelationship.
(13:34):
Natalie's story is wild. Taylor's story is you'll hear
Taylor's story. But what the hell.
So the mental illness podcast. I've already recorded 4 episodes
y'all, I'm just about to my editor is about to start working
on them to get them out. I haven't I haven't put I
haven't put it out yet. It says not not not Najiba.
I haven't put it out yet, but itis coming.
It is coming soon. Just so y'all know the mental on
(13:56):
this podcast is dropping soon. Just be ready for it.
If you want to. If you want to be on the podcast
and get interviewed, I'm going to drop the I can drop the link
right here in the comments righthere.
Y'all, I'll drop the link right here in the comments, so you get
like I say, so you can apply forit tell you feel your story out
on here and whatnot and then, like I say, it looks like this.
(14:17):
You can feel your story out and I'll probably reach out to you
in a little bit. Like I haven't went through them
and I haven't went through them in a bit.
I had like I had 115 of them come through the last few days.
I'm going through them now. I saw somebody name come up
here, Stevie. I saw.
I see. I think you emailed me too.
I'll get back with you. I'll get up with you.
Yeah, check it out. Y'all gonna be on the Mitchell
(14:38):
Hill this podcast. It's not just about narcissistic
abuse, though. Y'all just being realistic.
It's not just about narcissisticabuse.
It's going to be about you and Share your story about dealing
with your own mental health, your own triumphs in life.
Like how much isn't talking about narcissistic abuse.
He's talking about toxic work environments.
He's talking about his own storyof having suicidal ideations and
(15:00):
surviving it and thriving after that he did with his own mental
health and depression and thingslike that.
So it's not just about narcissism.
Now, there's survivor stories onthere.
The other three people I talked to are telling survivor stories,
survivor surviving thriving stories, right, surviving
thriving stories. So we're going to do that right
there. I would really love to.
(15:20):
I'm in NC Monarch weird case. My my is an art weird case.
You in North Carolina. I'm doing hey, I'm I'm doing
them in in I'll I'm if you're inNorth Carolina, I'm doing in
person interviews here starting pretty soon in North Carolina in
in Hillsboro. I know I don't know what part
you're in. I'm in like Durham, Hillsborough
and whatnot. So if you're in that area, just
(15:42):
I'm doing in person stuff too. I got a camera, I got my lights,
I got everything you did. I was just ready to go.
I just had to get it, had to getit moving and whatnot.
Love that you're doing this. Yes, my story is crazy.
Appreciate it, appreciate it, appreciate y'all.
That's what I'm doing. I just want I want more because
I've been talking about narcissism for five years and
I've helped is it helped me reach millions of people.
(16:04):
But I think the next step, the next iteration of mental illness
is covering all mental health dynamics.
You know what I mean? Depression, anxiety, ADHD,
autism, borderline sociopath, sociopathy, psychopathy, any
type of mental health, bipolar, any type of mental health issue
and whatnot. Mental health struggle, not
(16:26):
issues, struggle. That's what I'm here for talk
about as well. Or you can tell you can Share
your story about surviving a toxic relationship dynamic.
It's all about it's about everything, you know, it's all
about everything and whatnot. So that's what's going to be
happening y'all. So Mitchell, the podcast is
coming soon. Anyway, I do need to hop off
here. Today's my recording day.
(16:47):
I have a I have a one-on-one. I got to hop on in the next few
minutes. But today's my recording day.
I have a bunch of videos I have to get recorded for my from
actually just for my podcast, mychannel and stuff like that.
So again, y'all thank y'all for tuning in today, like I said,
mental illness.net and scrollingacross the bottom of the screen,
mental illness.net for all things Lee hammock, everything
(17:07):
you want to know about Lee, everything you can find about
Lee mental illness.net. And yeah, shoot me an e-mail,
like shoot me an e-mail mentalillness.net.
Y'all be safe, take care of yourselves, take care of each
other, and as always, y'all, as always, the hill, this is out
peace. I'm super grateful for all of
y'all too. Y'all gratitude.
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