Are you battling an addiction to a toxic relationship? Lee Hammock offers relationship advice from a unique perspective. Learn about the trauma bond and how to break free.
Check out my courses "Understanding the 7 Stages of a Narcissistic Relationship" and "Finding Your W.H.Y!" at https://mentalhealness.net
Want to be on the podcast? https://tinyurl.com/Mental-Healness-Podcast-Form
Contact Me - https://link.me/mentalhealness
I'm Lee & I've been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ). I've been in therapy since 2017 & It has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything. My platform is dedicated to giving you the WHYs behind the things that Narcissists do. I'm not here to diagnose ANYONE or to tell you to leave your relationship. I'm just trying to give you the information to make your own informed decisions
1 on 1's and all my links - https://beacons.page/mentalhealness
Remember, It's not your fault - https://a.co/d/2WNtdKJ
Episode Transcript
So what should you do if you feel like you addicted to a
narcissist? I I know I I heard that
statement so much Lee. I feel like it's an addiction.
Leaving this toxic relationship feels like an addiction.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get over it.
What should I do? It's whole so hard for me to
(00:20):
leave. It feels like I'm trying to kick
a drug or alcohol addiction. Help me, that's what we're here
for you today, y'all? That's what we're talking about.
Of course, if you're new here, I'm Lee Hammock.
I'm a diagnosed narcissist here to give you the perspective and
inside look at the mind of a narcissist, y'all, And we're
gonna hop right into it. Narcissistic people want you to
feel like you're addicted to them.
(00:41):
Because the more addicted you feel to me, the harder it is for
you to leave me or them, right? I'm telling I'm doing the third
person perspective, first personhere.
I alternate sometimes, right? But the more addicted you are to
me, the more difficult that I understand it is for you to
leave me. You see what I'm saying?
So in these instances, in these circumstances, when you are
(01:03):
dealing with people like this who have the mentality like
this, who who minds work like this, you have to be the one
that break it. They're not going to help you
break an addiction. Start looking at your
narcissistic partner like a a needle, right?
Like a damn needle that you inject with that needle needs
(01:23):
you to inject it. That needle cannot inject
itself. Have you ever seen a needle?
And not in the cartoon, not in the movie.
Have you ever seen a needle get up off the bed and go inject
somebody? No, it needs to be injected.
That needle needs you. That narcissist needs you to
inject them into your life, right, We're here.
(01:45):
So in order to kick this addiction, you have to be the
one to do it. Does it?
You have to understand that in order to break this addiction,
you first have to acknowledge it.
Just understand you might be addicted to this person and a
lot of a lot of times when, whenyou admit that you're addicted
to somebody, there comes a lot of shame with it, right?
(02:06):
So many people feel ashamed of it.
It's like, well, Lee, I'm so ashamed that I'm AI feel
addicted to this person. I, I feel so bad that I'm
addicted to them. I can't, I don't know what to
do. Like Lee, help me, help me
please. And I tell people time and time
again that just like breaking a Dick, an addiction to alcohol or
drugs, when you kick this addiction, you have to replace
(02:27):
it with something healthier. You have to replace that
addiction with something healthier that serves you
better. Y'all know how many people, how
many people I've talked to, right, that have tried to like
that, that are breaking, that are trying to leave a
narcissistic relationship, that have kicked other addictions
before? They'll be like Lee, I was
addicted to the white powdery substance, right?
(02:50):
As Ray William Johnson says, we can call it Coca-Cola.
I was addicted to that white powdery substance.
Breaking this relationship is harder than that powdery
substance. But when I kicked that
substance, I had to start do I started working out, I started
walking, I started reading, I started writing.
I said, then what are you doing to replace the narcissistic, the
narcissistic person? What are you doing to replace
(03:12):
this addiction? Because if you don't work on the
if you don't break the ties thatbind, you will end up going back
to this toxicity or, or you'll find someone else that's
possibly more toxic. You'll find someone else that's
more abusive. You'll find somebody that treats
you worse or that treats you just as bad.
(03:34):
But it's a different form of abuse, right?
It's a different form. You at first you had an overt,
just outwardly loud, obnoxious, malignant, abusive narcissist.
Now you have this passive aggressive gaslighter that you
that makes you question your reality.
The other narcissist usually yell and scream at you and throw
some shit at you. This one right here doesn't
throw anything. They don't.
They raise their voice at you, but you know they're being
abusive. You know they're being
(03:55):
manipulative. You know they're trying to make
you question your reality. They've been cheating and lying,
but they gaslighting you, makingit seem like it's your fault,
making you seem like, oh, I never said that.
Oh, that never happened. Oh, you're wrong.
You see how it goes right here. You see the mentality, You see
what is going on in the heads ofthese narcissistic people when
you're trying to break these ties that bind.
(04:17):
I promise you, this is a part ofit.
This is a huge part of it. This is a mental.
This is a part of the mental block that you go through when
you're dealing with toxic, narcissistic, abusive,
manipulative people. I promise you, right?
So think about it like this. If you break this addiction, ask
yourself, what the hell are you replacing it with?
(04:37):
What are you going to replace itwith?
Literally breaking this addiction requires you to have
something, a backup addiction, abackup, something healthier,
someone healthier, A support group.
There's so many people that havejoined my support group that
have had that. Yeah, they join a support group.
They're there for a little while.
They meet, they make lifelong friends, They share their
(04:59):
stories. And then guess what?
They leave the group. And I got to say, I'm so
everybody who's joined my support group that has entrusted
me on this journey to help you break these toxic narcissistic
addictions, It hurts when I see y'all leave the group, but I'm
so proud of y'all. If y'all still watching the
videos, I'm so proud of y'all. Even if you leave the group,
(05:20):
you're not supposed to be in thegroup forever, right?
I'm so proud of y'all. I'm so grateful for you.
Y'all make my journey. Y'all make this so much worth
it. I promise you, if y'all want to
join my support group, check outmental mental illness.net and
just Scroll down to the join thesupport group.
Y'all, it's, it's, I promise youit's worth it.
You know, I promise you it's worth it.
And they I helped it. Like the support group becomes
(05:41):
their new kind of their new kindof vice.
They when they want to reach, when they want to reach out to
the narcissist when they want a bump.
You said when they want a, a narcissistic bump or a, a, a
smoke or hit or drink of that narcissism, right.
Instead, they write a post in the group.
They reach out to one of their friends in the group.
They e-mail me. Find something to replace it.
(06:05):
Find a divert to find a way to divert that attention.
Divert it. It doesn't go away.
It takes a while to break. It does takes a while.
Take a while to break. Find something.
Do something for yourself. What have you want?
Ask yourself this question, right?
What have you wanted to do that you could not do while you've
been in this toxic relationship?What is what is something that
(06:26):
you've always wanted to do that you found that you could not do
because you were in, you were enthralled or immersed in this
toxicity? Go do that.
It doesn't have to be big, y'all.
It doesn't have to be a big, huge thing.
It could be something small. It doesn't have to be huge.
It literally can be something small.
(06:47):
Something small to help you win,something small to help you
break free, something small thatfinally helps you just
understand what you're going through and what you've been
experiencing. I promise you, it does get
better, but you have to find something outside of this
relationship, outside of them, to help you.
Right, very like I just came with an analogy on top of my
(07:10):
head right here. Y'all.
Y'all know I love my analogies on the spot right here.
Just imagine rock climbing. I know some of y'all have never
been rock climbing before, but you know, most rock climbers
have gear. They have backpacks, they have
the special shoes, they have clips, they have helmets, they
have lights, they have snacks. They they go up or with a bunch
(07:32):
of stuff, they're prepared to climb this rock, to climb this
mountain, right? Very rarely do you see what they
call a free climber. They go up there with nothing a
prayer. It's could they could now, could
they get to the mountain, the top of the mountain with no
equipment? Could they get to the top of
that skyscraper or that buildingwith no equipment?
(07:52):
Yes, it's possible, But guess what?
It's easier when you have other people there with you or and
it's easier when you have equipment you had you have that
helmet because in case you do fall, you hit your head.
Oh, this, this helmet saved me. Imagine being a solo free
climber. You don't have that helmet.
You slip, you're done. So if you climb in this mountain
(08:13):
of leaving the toxic relationship and you don't have
any equipment, you don't have any tools, when you slip, don't
you hit your head, you're right back in toxicity.
You see what I'm saying? You're right back in it because
you you had no you had no clip, you had no harness.
You had nothing to keep you fromfalling back into it.
So many people can clip into it.Hey, I'm going to put this
safety clip right here. So if I fall, I'm a this thing
(08:36):
is going to kick. This clip is going to catch me.
This person is going to catch me.
I'm going to catch me. I've been, I understand what's
going on. I'm going to catch myself right
now. So when you fall, if you fall,
if you slip, you lose your grip group.
The safety clip helps you from hurting yourself.
It helps you from falling back into toxicity.
So could you climb this mountainby yourself with no equipment?
(08:58):
Absolutely, yes. But don't it sound smarter and
better and safer to have equipment to have a support
system there instead? Was that a fire analogy off the
top of the Dome? Was that what that was?
(09:23):
I know y'all get that. I know y'all got it.
That was on top of the head. That was off top of my head.
I know y'all. Just like I'm sweating, dude, it
took some mental energy and thisnew light I got y'all was just
throwing out, it'd be throwing out heat.
This damn new light be just it'dmake you sweat.
You gonna earn, you gonna earn this video now.
But seriously, y'all, I just want y'all to be as strong as
(09:44):
possible. I want y'all to win.
I want y'all to understand what victory and real true love looks
like. You can't get true love while
you're in a Natasha relationship.
Yeah, you can truly love your kids.
Yeah, you absolutely can. You can truly love your family.
But it's very difficult to find a true love for yourself while
you're inside of a touch of relationship with dynamic.
Whether it be your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife,
partner, sister, brother, whoever the narcissistic person
(10:07):
in your life is, it's very difficult.
So in order to break that addiction, you need help.
In order to break that addiction, you have to find
something healthier to divert your attention or to focus your
attention on something else, something better.
Knit. Find knit.
You'll start knitting. Go join a run club, right?
Join my support grill. I'm telling you, the mental
illness y'all, I promise you is worth it.
(10:28):
We do a lot look, we do every Sunday evening.
We do a live chat every Sunday evening we do a live group chat
where we all get together and welike chat and talk about
everything we've been through through the week, set goals,
connect people, make friends. It's it's super cool y'all.
Mental illness.net and my courses are also available at
mentalillness.net as well. My courses, how to leave a toxic
(10:51):
relationship and how you even got into it in the first place.
Into the code Mothers or Fathersfor 50% off my courses and into
the code Mental 15 MENTA L15 for15% off.
Even the coaching, the one-on-one coaching stuff y'all.
I've been doing those for years.I've helped so many people.
Anyway y'all, I ain't gonna ramble on too much longer.
I appreciate every single one ofy'all.
Hit the subscribe button if you want to.
(11:12):
I love y'all. I'm grateful for you.
How about peace?
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.